D l/ Ol Sir BAO TRO CUA NCUOfl
HAY DtfNG LEN VA
NOT T H A N G •
Ban khong nen qua sg hai den miic khong dam la chinh minh. Hay quy trong nhung gia tri ban than. Song cuoc
song cua minh. Mot phu nu tung hi mat ke toi nghe ring
chi "tranh thu chuon khoi van phong" de di den san choi cua con, va toi phan ling, "Dung bao gia lam the nua! Ban than toi chua bao gia phai len liit di khoi bat cii noi dau. Toi duong hoang di thing xudng sanh chinh, va neu CO ai do khong thich viec toi lam thi te that. Dung lo cho toi. Toi se lam duoc nhung gi minh da hiia." Cii diing thing len, lam nhiing gi ban can phai lam, va m i m cuoi khi nghi ve chuyen do. Hay nhin thing vao mat nguoi khac va noi, "Neu anh khong thich thi cii sa thai toi, toi se di kiem viec khac, boi toi la nguoi c6 dii kha nang va ca su tan tarn nua."
Shelly Lazarus, CM tick Ogilvy & Mather
Dich gia: U6ng XuSn Vy - Vi Thao Nguy6n Nhieu n u lanh dao sinh ra da dam diing len t u bao ve ftiinh, nhung mot so dang ke khac phai t u ren giua ky nang nay. Tung chiit mot, ho hoc each noi ra nhiing gi minh nghi, hoc each anh huang den cupc thao luan, va cudi cung ho hoc each lanh dao. N o i len y kien cua minh khong chi quan trpng cho su phat trien ciia ca nhan ban, ma con la mot phan trong cong viec ban lam. Chiing toi cho rang can phai chi cho ban mot phuong phap de khang dinh su "hien dien" cua ban. Khong chi rieng gi each ban noi - ma con la each ban chiem linh can phong - de CO dupe su t i n tuong va quyet tam eiia tat ca nhirng nguoi chung quanh ban.
V i sao CO rat nhieu phu n i i mien cuong khong chiu len tieng? Tai sao hp eii ngdi lang i m de mac cho nhirng nguoi dan ong khac cuop dien dan? Chiing toi het siic kinh ngae khi dpc danh sach dai v6 tan nhirng ly do ma phu n i i neu ra:
• " T o i khong eo dieu gi quan trpng den miie phai noi ra." • "Chuyen can noi thi deu da dupe noi het ca rdi, hoac se
CO ai do chi ra thoi."
' "May ong do thich noi qua, eii de hp noi." • "Hanh dpng du gi cung manh hon l6i noi. " • "Khong den lupt toi noi."
• " T o i den day de nghe." n - t . " O day toi la nguoi moi." Vi^ V i .:; • " T o i la nguoi c6 it kinh nghiem nhat."
Joanna Barsh, Susie Cranston va Geoffrey Lewis
That va van! Co the su ngan ngai khong noi ay dang che day cho mot n6i so hai sau kin hon, nhu so hi "phat hien ra", so bi cum nhao, hoac so bi nguoi khac danh gia thap. Nhung ly do ben ngoai ciia phu nu chiing ta thuong nghe c6 ve hop tinh hop ly hoac de thoai thac. Hay dao sau hon de kham pha nhung noi so hai that su an sau trong ban - cho den tan bay gio. Ne'u ban cii de cho nhung noi so ay kiem soat, chiing se khien ban ton thuong. Cac cuoc phong van chiing toi thuc hien cho thay noi so hai thiic day nhieu phu nu dat ra nhung tieu chuan cao den miic phi thuc te, dii de khien bat ky ai cung phai nan long. Nhieu nguoi lai cho doi qua lau den noi khong the tham gia vao cuoc tro chuyen. (Cung giong nhu ban choi nhay day: lua diing liic de chui vao vong day khong de, nhay tai cho de khong bi vuong chan lai cang kho hon.) So khac nham Ian giua su ton
trong va giii im lang. ; Chiing toi biet no kho. Van de con phiic tap hon o ch6
la 'noi Cling khong dugc' ma 'khong noi cung khong xong'. Bai thuong nguoi phu nu nao dam len tieng cung la nguoi phai hung chiu nhieu thii. Ho c6 the bi cho la nong nay, kho khan, tu danh bong ban than hoac te hon. Nghien ciiu cho thay phu nu thuong dt len tieng thay cho nguoi khac, nhung lai cam thay kho khan khi lam dieu do cho chinh minh. V i the chiing ta thuong cho nguoi khac nhan ra nhung gi chiing ta mu6n. Phai, chiing ta cho doi. Tai sao? Boi dieu do "c6 y nghia hon khi nguoi khac nhan thay ma khong can chiing ta phai ma l^i'
cac chi noi vol chiing toi nhu the.
— -m^ ,
Dich gia: UOng XuSn Vy - Vi Tliao Nguyen
Va neu ban van chua thay thuyet phuc, de chiing toi vien them vai ly do khien ban can phai len tieng. Trong khi ban ngoi cho, thi phai nam da thuong lugng cho nhung dieu ho muon va tu minh thang quan tien chiic. Phu nu it khi ra ngoai dam phan nhu nam gioi; khoang 20% phu nu khong bao gio c6 mat trong nhung cuoc thuong thao nhu the. Trong mot nghien ciiu so sanh miic do ky vong ciia dan ong va phu nu 6 nhung vi tri tuong tu nhau, nam gioi thuong mong mudn so tien toi da ho kiem dugc cao hon 30% so voi nhiing gi phu nu mong doi.
Julie Daum c6 nhieu nam lam viec voi nhung nu lanh dao hang dau ciia cac doanh nghiep tai My, voi vai tro giam doc Van phong T u van Dieu hanh Vung Bac My cua hang Spencer Stuart. The manh ciia c6 la thau hieu con nguoi, va cong viec
CO yeu thich la giao diing nguoi diing viec. Khong ai gioi hon
CO trong viec giiip ban tim ra tieng noi cua rieng minh.