III. TRIGIAC XAH
“Cdi thud ban ctdu luu luy & nay Nganndmdaudimayaiquen
Hay trong bai thoNSinhdkhdng ngd,tacgia ThuAn HSu da vidt:
"Cube den* cri',saolam la ki
C6 nhrfngnamthdng diqua machangthanh ndinha
Nhung nhiiu khi chimdt Ian gapgd
M6tthoang nhin cungtrdntrdmaitrong nhau
Cdc nhk tam If hocchorangdithanhedngtrong giao tieptrong moi hnh vuc,
5n tuqng ldn ddu gapgoco vai trdrat quan trong,chiem60-70% suthanh edng.
Mdt nha tam If ngucri Mida timg ndi:“Batcdluc nao, tronghoan earthxagiao nao vd gapgongucrinao, ban cungedn taptrung toanbd sirechu y cua minh vaotrong
bon phut dau tiintii'pxuc vdi anhta”.
An tuqng ban dau vi mdt ngucri naod6 la hinh anh tdng thi trdn co sonhin nhan ho mdt each toan diin, qua vide cam nhan cac biiu hiin nhu: diin mao,cur
chi, tac phong, anh mat, nu cuci... sau ldn tii'
p xuc ban dlu, ta co ah tuqng nhat
dinhvidoi tuqngcuaminh.
An tuqng ban ddu tacddngden giao tiep thdng qua hai khfa earth:tfch cue
haytiin cue.
Nhungah tuqng tfchcue giupchocudcgiaotiepdiinra tdt dep, giup choqua
trinh giaotiep tieptheodiin ra su6nsevanguqclai.
*Casahinh thanhd'ntuemgbanddu:
-Theo dac diemtrung tam:
Thf nghiem cua Asch Solomon nha tam If hoc Mi ndm 1946 cho thay: an
tuqng ban ddu hinh thanh trincosd mdt vai dac tfnh nhan each nao do duqc ndi bat lin trong mdt hoan canh nhd'
t dinh. Dac diim do goi la dac diim trung tam.
Dac diim nay quyi'
t dinh va khdng chi each thtic vk chieu hudng suy nghl, cam
nhan cua chu thi tri gidc. Ndiedeh khac, khi nhan dinh ldn ddu vi ngudi khac, ta cd thdiquenchi cancu: vaomdt vai tfnh edeh ndi bat cua ngucri doma thdi.
-TheoIf thuyit nhdn edeh tiim dn: la qua trinh hinh thanh dn tuqng ban ddu
theosodd mdunhan edehco san trong mdingucri.
Trong qua trinhsd'
ng,ca nhdncoduqc nhung kinh nghiim trongquan hi liin
nhdn each.Song nhieu khi kinh nghiimnay khdng that day du, nocd trongy nghi
cua ta vaduqc hoat hoa khi tagapmdtngucri mdi.Khuynh hudng gdp cac net tinh
edeh vdi nhau mdt edeh truegiac goi Ik thuyi'
tnhdn edeh tiim an.
Vf du: khi nghiin cdu thai dd cua sinh viin ddi vdi thdy giao day thay gid,
Kelly gidi thiiu vdi ldp thu: nhdt, thay day thay la ngudi soindi, con vdi ldp thu:hai
ail tupng tdt vd thiy giio nay, con lofp thir hai sinh vidn khong c6 thien cam vdi
thiygiao do.Nhuviy,sod6nhan eachngam trongsinh vidn da hoat ddng.
—Cac hieu dng tri gidc chi phdiSintupngvd ngudi khac:
+ Hieu ung“haoquang”:cam nhan va dinh gia dditupnggiao tidptheo hinh anh khudn miuco tfnh If tudng hoa,theo cicnghd nghidp vacickidu ngudi khac nhau.Cam nhan nky thudng hay xudt hidn khi ta tidp xuc vdi nhung ngudi lam vide trong nhung nginh nghd hay co quan, td chtic co tid'
ng tarn ma ten tudi va
thanh tfch cuahodadupe kitingdinh trongxa hoi.
+ HiSu ung “d6ng nhdt”: cam nhan va danh gia ddi tirong theo each d6ng
nhdt ngudi do vdi ban than, theo kidu “tit bung ta suy ra bung ngudi”.Hoac d6ng
nhdt hovdi dim dOngtrongtCmg loai nghe nghidpvakieu ngircri.
+ Hieu ting “khac gidi”:chorangddi tirong ia ngudi“ngoai dao” vdi llnh vuc,
chfnh kie'
n hay sirquan tarn cua minh, td dochudn bi tam thdgiaotidp mang tfnh hinh thde,lich sirhay chinh phuc.
+ Hieu dng “khoangedeh xa hdi”:ngdmso sanh vithd,vai trdxa hdi, tentudi
cuadditupng vdi ban thandd chudn bi tuthe giao tidptucho la thfch hop.
+ Hieu dng “dia If’:nhungah tuonghoac hidu bidt cua ban thanta vdmOt xti
sdhay vimg ddt niodd, vecon ngudi,tap quan,van hod cua ho vataganhinh anh
cuaho vdi nhungahtuongvdsuhieubidt mang tinh chuquandd.
Cac hieu ung nay thuc hien theocochd“yeu nen td'
t,ghet nen xau”. Dohidu dng nay ma ah tuong ban ddu trong giao tidpco the trd ndntichcue hay nguoclai
vatir ddcoanhhudng truetidpddn kdt quacua hoat ddng giaotidp.
*Cautruecuad'ntUcmg banddu:
- Thanh phin cam tinh (chid'
m Uu the): gom nhung ddu hidu bd ngoai nhu trang phuc, dungmao,cuchi,didu bd, giong ndi...
-Thanh phdn If tfnh (logic): gdm nhung ddu hidu vd phdm chdt ca nhan nhu
tfnh each,khf chat,xu hudng,ning lire...
-Thanh phdn xuc cam: gdm nhung da'u hidu bidu hidn tinh cam (yeu, ghet)
tuy theohdp din thim mi bdn ngoai. Ban chitcua an tuong ban diuli thdng qua
kdnh cim giac ca nhin cd duoc cic cam giac va su trigiac ban diu vd nguditidp
xuc vdi ho.Viviy,khi giaotidpvdi ai,tacd gang gaydupethien cam ban diu vdi doi tupng, no chfnh la chia khoathanhedngcho cic giai doan tidp theo.
* Nhung yeutddam bao thanhedngtrong Ianddu gapgd:
Nhan din ta daco c&u:
“Thucmg nhau moisuchdngne
Ddutrdmchdlich cungke cho bang
Dd dam bao thanh cbng trong ldn diu gapgo cluing ta can chti y din nhung
yd'utb'sau diy;
-Trang phuc:Din gian tacocau “Ancho minh,maccho ngubi”,Ngubichau
Auco cau:“Bbio khbnglamnen thay tu,nhimg khbngc6bbao,thiy tu khbngla
thay tu”.Dd dam bao thanh cbng trong landiu gapgothimac phai lichsu,khbng
qua loe loet,phai phii hop vbi vai xa hoi cua minh ma an mac...Trang phuc gpi ldn trdch nhidm valuong tam nghd nghidp cua con ngircri.
—Leri chao:Dan gian tacocau “Lbi chao caohon mamc6”,lbi gibi thidu,cai bat tay,eachnang litrong budidiu tid'
p xuc, ladbtran trong vbi ngubidb'
i thoai.
Khi gibi thieu, bao gib cung gibi thidu ngubi c6 churc vu thip vbi ngircri co
churccao,ngubift tuoivbi ngubi1cmtubi.
- Khung canh giao tid'
p: Khung canh giao tidfp phai sach se, trang nha, tao
ra cam giac thoang mrit vd mua hd va am rip vd mua dbng. Nhung yd'u tb sau
day trong khung canh giao tid'p anh hubng tori bau khbng khf tam If va hidu qua
giaotidp.
+Nhidtdb:
Budi sring mrit me ngubi tinh tdo, hidu qua giao tidp cao hem. Budi chidu,
nhdt la xir nong, ngubi mdt mbi hon, giao tid'
p kdm hidu qua hon. Chfnh vi vdy,
chonthbi didm giao tiep lardt quan trong.
Budisang ngubi ta kho tb bocbng vide dddi hop. Vi vdy ngubi quan If phai xdy dungkd'
hoach nhu thd'
naochohidu qua.
-Vdsinh sachse,thbng thoang taokhbng khf thoai mrii vd nguqclai.
Vf du, cira hang an tuy thirc an ngon nhung b grin db'
ng rac thi khach vdn
khbngden. Tib'
ng 6n: Tidng 6n qua mure la yd'
u tb gay nhidu, lam can trbgiao tiep va
ngifoclai.
Vf du, giao tid'
p trong mbi trubng co khung canh lang man, trong ndn nhac nhe tao ra suhung thu chodoi trienhung nd'u trao doi vbi khrich bcacquan 6n ao thi lai gayhidu ringnguoc lai.
—Nhungchi din vd giao tid'
pbandiu:
+ Khi mbi gapnhau, co cam giicvisutri giac ban driu vd ngubi tiepxuc.Sir
tri giac ban diu taora cacintuqng bandiu vd ngubidb'
ithoai.Tuy nhidnsunhan thtfc bandiudo mbi li nhan thurccam tfnh. Doviy,khbngndnvbikdt luan vd ban
chit cua ngubi minh giao tid'
pmi phai thbng quaquri trinh nhan thurc cao hem nhu
“Thuclaumdi bietdemddi
6 Idumdi biet let ngudic6 nhdrt
+ Trong giaotie'
p, ta thudng tucmg tuong v6 ngudi se gap. Tuy vaycintranh nhung thoi quen nhu khi nghetenngudilaihinh dung ra ngudi ddtdt hayxau.
+ Buoidiu gapgo ndu ngudiddi thoaiddi ngdtdira vindibuoc ta phaitra ldi thinenthantrong,chinchinkhdng nen v0i vang traldi.
+ Trong giao tiep ban diu co thi tao nen nhtfng xuc cam tfch cue hay tidu
cue. Xiic cam tlch cue xua'
t hien lam nay sinh nhu cau duoc tieptuc giaotieplin tiep iheovangupc lai.
+ Trong giao tidp ban diu phai bidt lang nghe va biet trd chuyen de tao sir
ddngcam va gdy in tuong vdi dditucrng.
+ Buoidiu gapgokhihtradidu githi phai cogingthuchien,C6gingnhdten
ngudigiaotidp.
+ Phailudntrauddingdn ngu. Luydneach n6i nang mot edeh mach lac visir
dung ngdn nguliphuong tien hidu qua tronggiao tidp, Vi ngdn nguchfnhlit “vo
v
|it chit cua tu duy”. Cin chti y ket hop gida ngon ngu: va phuong tidn phi ngdn
ngudi giao tiepban d^u co hieu qua.Chang han, vfica nghe ndi, vira quan sit ndt
mat,curchicua ddituong.
2.2.Quy luatquy ganxahoi (danh giaddituong)
Trong trigiacxa hdi,chung tagaphien tuong: trude hanh vi nao do cuangudi
khac du may hoacrui, moi ngudi chung tathudngco timedeh Ifgiai nguyennhan, ddng co in ngim siu... bang chfnh.su hiiu biet va vdnsong kinh nghiem cua ban
than.Hidn tupngnaygoiIdquy gan xahoi.Viy quy ganxa hdi lagi?
Quy gan xa hdi Id mdt qua trinh suy didn nhan qua nham hieu duoc y nghia
hanh dOngcua ngudi khac bingeach tim nhimg nguyen nhan 6ndinhdigiai thfch chohanh dOng hay subidn ddirieng biet.
Quy ganxahdi tuantheomOtsdnguyenticsau:
- Nguyen tic tam If ngay tho: qua trinh quy gin xa hoi la mdt sir plain tfch
ngay thov&hinh vicua ngudi khac.V6 ban chit, surquy gin vdnco d moi ngudi,
viconngudi ludn tim each khim phanguyen nhancua hanh vidi hiiuvadu doan
su kidnsip tdi vdi mong mudndekiem soit duoc moi trudng xa hoi. Nhuvay,qua
tnnh quy gan lim6t SUph&n tfch ngay thove ddi tuongdua vao v6nkinh nghiem
c6 san cua ngudi tri giac. Vi v&y, kit qua danh gia ddi tuong thudng mang tfnh
chu quanva nhiiuluc trdndnlo bich.
VIdu, khi gapm6t ngircfi nghien ma tuy trong cudc sd'
ng,chiing la thircmg II
giainguyen nhindin den viecngirtrid6 nghiinmalu;yla doan chcti sa doa.
- Nguyen tic suy diUn tirong ting: khi quan sat hanh vi cua ngirdi khac, ra