Stephenie meyer 1 twilight

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Color -1- -2- -3- -4- -5- -6- -7- -8- -9Text Size 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 TWILIGHT By Stephenie Meyer Contents PREFACE FIRST SIGHT OPEN BOOK PHENOMENON INVITATIONS BLOOD TYPE SCARY STORIES NIGHTMARE PORT ANGELES THEORY 10 INTERROGATIONS 11 COMPLICATIONS 12 BALANCING 13 CONFESSIONS 14 MIND OVER MATTER 15 THE CULLENS 16 CARLISLE 17 THE GAME 18 THE HUNT 19 GOODBYES 20 IMPATIENCE 21 PHONE CALL 22 HIDE-AND-SEEK 23 THE ANGEL 24 AN IMPASSE EPILOGUE: AN OCCASION twilight STEPHENIE MEYER LITTLE, BROWN AND COMPANY New York Boston Text copyright © 2005 by Stephenie Meyer All rights reserved Little, Brown and Company Time Warner Book Group 1271 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 Visit our Web site at www.lb-teens.com First Edition: September 2005 The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Meyer, Stephanie, 1973— Twilight : a novel / by Stephanie Meyer — 1st ed p cm Summary: When seventeen-year-old Bella leaves Phoenix to live with her father in Forks, Washington, she meets an exquisitely handsome boy at school for whom she feels an overwhelming attraction and who she comes to realize is not wholly human ISBN 0-316-16017-2 [1 Vampires — Fiction High schools — Fiction Schools — Fiction Washington (State) — Fiction.] I Title PZ7.M57188Tw2005 [Fic] —dc22 2004024730 Printed in the United States of America For my big sister, Emily, without whose enthusiasm this story might still be unfinished But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die Genesis 2:17 PREFACE I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved Noble, even That ought to count for something I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me FIRST SIGHT My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue I was wearing my favorite shirt — sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture My carry-on item was a parka In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade that my mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old It was in this town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen That was the year I finally put my foot down; these past three summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead It was to Forks that I now exiled myself— an action that I took with great horror I detested Forks I loved Phoenix I loved the sun and the blistering heat I loved the vigorous, sprawling city "Bella," my mom said to me — the last of a thousand times — before I got on the plane "You don't have to this." My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes How could I leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she got lost, but still… "I want to go," I lied I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now "Tell Charlie I said hi." "I will." "I'll see you soon," she insisted "You can come home whenever you want — I'll come right back as soon as you need me." But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise "Don't worry about me," I urged "It'll be great I love you, Mom." She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I got on the plane, and she was gone It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I was a little worried about Charlie had really been fairly nice about the whole thing He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence He'd already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless I knew he was more than a little confused by my decision — like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining I didn't see it as an omen — just unavoidable I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser This I was expecting, too Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on top Nothing slows down traffic like a cop Charlie gave me an awkward, one-armed hug when I stumbled my way off the plane "It's good to see you, Bells," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied me "You haven't changed much How's Renée?" "Mom's fine It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face I had only a few bags Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for Washington My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it was still scanty It all fit easily into the trunk of the cruiser "I found a good car for you, really cheap," he announced when we were strapped in "What kind of car?" I was suspicious of the way he said "good car for you" as opposed to just "good car." "Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy." "Where did you find it?" "Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indian reservation on the coast "No." "He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted That would explain why I didn't remember him I a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory "He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap." "What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask "Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine — it's only a few years old, really." I hoped he didn't think so little of me as to believe I would give up that easily "When did he buy it?" "He bought it in 1984, I think." "Did he buy it new?" "Well, no I think it was new in the early sixties — or late fifties at the earliest," he admitted sheepishly "Ch — Dad, I don't really know anything about cars I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic…" "Really, Bella, the thing runs great They don't build them like that anymore." The thing, I thought to myself… it had possibilities — as a nickname, at the very least "How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromise on "Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you As a homecoming gift." Charlie peeked sideways at me with a hopeful expression Wow Free "You didn't need to that, Dad I was going to buy myself a car." "I don't mind I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud I inherited that from him So I was looking straight ahead as I responded "That's really nice, Dad Thanks I really appreciate it." No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility He didn't need to suffer along with me And I never looked a free truck in the mouth — or engine "Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks We exchanged a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for Conversation We stared out the windows in silence It was beautiful, of course; I couldn't deny that Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves It was too green — an alien planet Eventually we made it to Charlie's He still lived in the small, two-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage Those were the only kind of days their marriage had — the early ones There, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed, was my new — well, new to me — truck It was a faded red color, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab To my intense surprise, I loved it I didn't know if it would run, but I could see myself in it Plus, it was one of those solid iron affairs that never gets damaged — the kind you see at the scene of an accident, paint unscratched, surrounded by the pieces of the foreign car it had destroyed "Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" Now my horrific day tomorrow would be just that much less dreadful I wouldn't be faced with the choice of either walking two miles in the rain to school or accepting a ride in the Chief's cruiser "I'm glad you like it," Charlie said gruffly, embarrassed again It took only one trip to get all my stuff upstairs I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard The room was familiar; it had been belonged to me since I was born The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the yellowed lace curtains around the window — these were all a part of my childhood The only changes Charlie had ever made were switching the crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew The desk now held a secondhand computer, with the phone line for the modem stapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack This was a stipulation from my mother, so that we could stay in touch easily The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Charlie I was trying not to dwell too much on that fact One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn't hover He left me alone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for my mother It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape I wasn't in the mood to go on a real crying jag I would save that for bedtime, when I would have to think about the coming morning Forks High School had a frightening total of only three hundred and fifty-seven — now fifty-eight — students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home All of the kids here had grown up together — their grandparents had been toddlers together I would be the new girl from the big city, a curiosity, a freak Maybe, if I looked like a girl from Phoenix should, I could work this to my advantage But physically, I'd never fit in anywhere I should be tan, sporty, blond — a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, perhaps — all the things that go with living in the valley of the sun Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete; I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself — and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser, I took my bag of bathroom necessities and went to the communal bathroom to clean myself up after the day of travel I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my tangled, damp hair Maybe it was the light, but already I looked sallower, unhealthy My skin could be pretty — it was very clear, almost translucent-looking — but it all depended on color I had no color here Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in And if I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here? I didn't relate well to people my age Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs Maybe there was a glitch in my brain But the cause didn't matter All that mattered was the effect And tomorrow would be just the beginning I didn't sleep well that night, even after I was done crying The constant whooshing of the rain and wind across the roof wouldn't fade into the background I pulled the faded old quilt over my head, and later added the pillow, too But I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight, when the rain finally settled into a quieter drizzle Thick fog was all I could see out my window in the morning, and I could feel the claustrophobia creeping up on me You could never see the sky here; it was like a cage Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event He wished me good luck at school I thanked him, knowing his hope was wasted Good luck tended to avoid me Charlie left first, off to the police station that was his wife and family After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in one of the three unmatching chairs and examined his small kitchen, with its dark paneled walls, bright yellow cabinets, and white linoleum floor Nothing was changed My mother had painted the cabinets eighteen years ago in an attempt to bring some sunshine into the house Over the small fireplace in the adjoining handkerchief-sized family room was a row of pictures First a wedding picture of Charlie and my mom in Las Vegas, then one of the three of us in the hospital after I was born, taken by a helpful nurse, followed by the procession of my school pictures up to last year's Those were embarrassing to look at — I would have to see what I could to get Charlie to put them somewhere else, at least while I was living here It was impossible, being in this house, not to realize that Charlie had never gotten over my mom It made me uncomfortable I didn't want to be too early to school, but I couldn't stay in the house anymore I donned my jacket — which had the feel of a biohazard suit — and headed out into the rain It was just drizzling still, not enough to soak me through immediately as I reached for the house key that was always hidden under the eaves by the door, and locked up The sloshing of my new waterproof boots was unnerving I missed the normal crunch of gravel as I walked I couldn't pause and admire my truck again as I wanted; I was in a hurry to get out of the misty wet that swirled around my head and clung to my hair under my hood Inside the truck, it was nice and dry Either Billy or Charlie had obviously cleaned it up, but the tan upholstered seats still smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint The engine started quickly, to my relief, but loudly, roaring to life and then idling at top volume Well, a truck this old was bound to have a flaw The antique radio worked, a plus that I hadn't expected Finding the school wasn't difficult, though I'd never been there before The school was, like most other things, just off the highway It was not obvious that it was a school; only the sign, which declared it to be the Forks High School, made me stop It looked like a collection of matching houses, built with maroon-colored bricks There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at first Where was the feel of the institution? I wondered nostalgically Where were the chain-link fences, the metal detectors? I parked in front of the first building, which had a small sign over the door reading front office No one else was parked there, so I was sure it was off limits, but I decided I would get directions inside instead of circling around in the rain like an idiot I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges I took a deep breath before opening the door Inside, it was brightly lit, and warmer than I'd hoped The office was small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange-flecked commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough greenery outside The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly colored flyers taped to its front There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses She was wearing a purple t-shirt, which immediately made me feel overdressed The red-haired woman looked up "Can I help you?" "I'm Isabella Swan," I informed her, and saw the immediate awareness light her eyes I was expected, a topic of gossip no doubt Daughter of the Chief's flighty ex-wife, come home at last "Of course," she said She dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk till she found the ones she was looking for "I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter to show roe She went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each on the map, and gave me a slip to have each teacher sign, which I was to bring back at the end of the day She smiled at me and hoped, like Charlie, that I would like it here in Forks I smiled back as convincingly as I could When I went back out to my truck, other students were starting to arrive I drove around the school, following the line of traffic I was glad to see that most of the cars were older like mine, nothing flashy At home I'd lived in one of the few lower-income neighborhoods that were included in the Paradise Valley District It was a common thing to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the student lot The nicest car here was a shiny Volvo, and it stood out Still, I cut the engine as soon as I was in a spot, so that the thunderous volume wouldn't draw attention to me I looked at the map in the truck, trying to memorize it now; hopefully I wouldn't have to walk around with it stuck in front of my nose all day I stuffed everything in my bag, slung the strap over my shoulder, and sucked in a huge breath I can this, I lied to myself feebly No one was going to bite me I finally exhaled and stepped out of the truck I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I walked to the sidewalk, crowded with teenagers My plain black jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief Once I got around the cafeteria, building three was easy to spot A large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner I felt my breathing gradually creeping toward hyperventilation as I approached the door I tried holding my breath as I followed two unisex raincoats through the door The classroom was small The people in front of me stopped just inside the door to hang up their coats on a long row of hooks I copied them They were two girls, one a porcelain-colored blonde, the other also pale, with light brown hair At least my skin wouldn't be a standout here I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr Mason He gawked at me when he saw my name — not an encouraging response — and of course I flushed tomato red But at least he sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but somehow, they managed I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me It was fairly basic: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner I'd already read everything That was comforting… and boring I wondered if my mom would send me my folder of old essays, or if she would think that was cheating I went through different arguments with her in my head while the teacher droned on When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me "You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" He looked like the overly helpful, chess club type "Bella," I corrected Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me "Where's your next class?" he asked I had to check in my bag "Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six." There was nowhere to look without meeting curious eyes "I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way…" Definitely over-helpful "I'm Eric," he added I smiled tentatively "Thanks." We got our jackets and headed out into the rain, which had picked up I could have sworn several people behind us were walking close enough to eavesdrop I hoped I wasn't getting paranoid "So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked "Very." "It doesn't rain much there, does it?" "Three or four times a year." "Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered "Sunny," I told him "You don't look very tan." "My mother is part albino." He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm We walked back around the cafeteria, to the south buildings by the gym Eric walked me right to the door, though it was clearly marked "Well, good luck," he said as I touched the handle "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful I smiled at him vaguely and went inside The rest of the morning passed in about the same fashion My Trigonometry teacher, Mr Varner, who I would have hated anyway just because of the subject he taught, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat After two classes, I started to recognize several of the faces in each class There was always someone braver than the others who would introduce themselves and ask me questions about how I was liking Forks I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot At least I never needed the map One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch She was tiny, several inches shorter than my five feet four inches, but her wildly curly dark hair made up a lot know why," I demanded "Why?" he repeated warily "Why you did it Why didn't you just let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you." Edward's eyes seemed to turn flat black, and I remembered that this was something he'd never intended me to know Alice must have been preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herself… or she'd been very careful with her thoughts around him — clearly, he'd had no idea that she'd filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions He was surprised, and infuriated His nostrils flared, his mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone He wasn't going to answer, that much was clear "I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships," I said "But it just seems logical… a man and woman have to be somewhat equal… as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one They have to save each other equally." He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms His expression was smooth, the anger reined in Evidently he'd decided he wasn't angry with me I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her "You have saved me," he said quietly "I can't always be Lois Lane," I insisted "I want to be Superman, too." "You don't know what you're asking." His voice was soft; he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase "I think I do." "Bella, you don't know I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure." "Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?" "No, I don't wish that." He paused before continuing "But my life was over I wasn't giving anything up." "You are my life You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." I was getting better at this It was easy to admit how much I needed him He was very calm, though Decided "I can't it, Bella I won't that to you." "Why not?" My throat rasped and the words weren't as loud as I'd meant them to be "Don't tell me it's too hard! After today, or I guess it was a few days ago… anyway, after that, it should be nothing." He glared at me "And the pain?" he asked I blanched I couldn't help it But I tried to keep my expression from showing how clearly I remembered the feeling… the fire in my veins "That's my problem," I said "I can handle it." "It's possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity." "It's not an issue Three days Big deal." Edward grimaced again as my words reminded him that I was more informed than he had ever intended me to be I watched him repress the anger, watched as his eyes grew speculative "Charlie?" he asked curtly "Renée?" Minutes passed in silence as I struggled to answer his question I opened my mouth, but no sound came out I closed it again He waited, and his expression became triumphant because he knew I had no true answer "Look, that's not an issue either," I finally muttered; my voice was as unconvincing as it always was when I lied "Renée has always made the choices that work for her — she'd want me to the same And Charlie's resilient, he's used to being on his own I can't take care of them forever I have my own life to live." "Exactly," he snapped "And I won't end it for you." "If you're waiting for me to be on my deathbed, I've got news for you! I was just there!" "You're going to recover," he reminded me I took a deep breath to calm myself, ignoring the spasm of pain it triggered I stared at him, and he stared back There was no compromise in his face "No," I said slowly "I'm not." His forehead creased "Of course you are You may have a scar or two…" "You're wrong," I insisted "I'm going to die." "Really, Bella." He was anxious now "You'll be out of here in a few days Two week at most." I glared at him "I may not die now… but I'm going to die sometime Every minute of the day, I get closer And I'm going to get old." He frowned as what I was saying sunk in, pressing his long fingers to his temples and closing his eyes "That's how it's supposed to happen How it should happen How it would have happened if I didn't exist — and I shouldn't exist." I snorted He opened his eyes in surprise "That's stupid That's like going to someone who's just won the lottery, taking their money, and saying, 'Look, let's just go back to how things should be It's better that way.' And I'm not buying it." "I'm hardly a lottery prize," he growled "That's right You're much better." He rolled his eyes and set his lips "Bella, we're not having this discussion anymore I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that's the end of it." "If you think that's the end, then you don't know me very well," I warned him "You're not the only vampire I know." His eyes went black again "Alice wouldn't dare." And for a moment he looked so frightening that I couldn't help but believe it — I couldn't imagine someone brave enough to cross him "Alice already saw it, didn't she?" I guessed "That's why the things she says upset you She knows I'm going to be like you… someday." "She's wrong She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either." "You'll never catch me betting against Alice." We stared at each other for a very long time It was quiet except for the whirring of the machines, the beeping, the dripping, the ticking of the big clock on the wall Finally, his expression softened "So where does that leave us?" I wondered He chuckled humorlessly "I believe it's called an impasse." I sighed "Ouch," I muttered "How are you feeling?" he asked, eyeing the button for the nurse "I'm fine," I lied "I don't believe you," he said gently "I'm not going back to sleep." "You need rest All this arguing isn't good for you." "So give in," I hinted "Nice try." He reached for the button "No!" He ignored me "Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked "I think we're ready for more pain medication," he said calmly, ignoring my furious expression "I'll send in the nurse." The voice sounded very bored "I won't take it," I promised He looked toward the sack of fluids hanging beside my bed "I don't think they're going to ask you to swallow anything." My heart rate started to climb He read the fear in my eyes, and sighed in frustration "Bella, you're in pain You need to relax so you can heal Why are you being so difficult? They're not going to put any more needles in you now." "I'm not afraid of the needles," I mumbled "I'm afraid to close my eyes." Then he smiled his crooked smile, and took my face between his hands "I told you I'm not going anywhere Don't be afraid As long as it makes you happy, I'll be here." I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks "You're talking about forever, you know." "Oh, you'll get over it — it's just a crush." I shook my head in disbelief— it made me dizzy "I was shocked when Renée swallowed that one I know you know better." "That's the beautiful thing about being human," he told me "Things change." My eyes narrowed "Don't hold your breath." He was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe "Excuse me," she said brusquely to Edward He got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall He folded his arms and waited I kept my eyes on him, still apprehensive He met my gaze calmly "Here you go, honey." The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube "You'll feel better now." "Thanks," I mumbled, unenthusiastic It didn't take long I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately "That ought to it," she muttered as my eyelids drooped She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face "Stay." The word was slurred "I will," he promised His voice was beautiful, like a lullaby "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you." I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy "'S not the same thing," I mumbled He laughed "Don't worry about that now, Bella You can argue with me when you wake up." I think I smiled '"Kay." I could feel his lips at my ear "I love you," he whispered "Me, too." "I know," he laughed quietly I turned my head slightly… searching He knew what I was after His lips touched mine gently "Thanks," I sighed "Anytime." I wasn't really there at all anymore But I fought against the stupor weakly There was just one more thing I wanted to tell him "Edward?" I struggled to pronounce his name clearly "Yes?" "I'm betting on Alice," I mumbled And then the night closed over me EPILOGUE:AN OCCASION Edward helped me into his car, being very careful of the wisps of silk and chiffon, the flowers he'd just pinned into my elaborately styled curls, and my bulky walking cast He ignored the angry set of my mouth When he had me settled, he got in the driver's seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive "At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked grumpily I really hated surprises And he knew that "I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet." He threw a mocking smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat Would I ever get used to his perfection? "I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" I verified "Yes." He grinned again I'd never seen him dress in black before, and, with the contrast against his pale skin, his beauty was absolutely surreal That much I couldn't deny, even if the fact that he was wearing a tuxedo made me very nervous Not quite as nervous as the dress Or the shoe Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely encased in plaster But the stiletto heel, held on only by satin ribbons, certainly wasn't going to help me as I tried to hobble around "I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do," I griped I'd spent the better part of the day in Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn't have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun Then she'd dressed me in the most ridiculous dress — deep blue, frilly and off the shoulders, with French tags I couldn't read — a dress more suitable for a runway than Forks Nothing good could come of our formal attire, of that I was sure Unless… but I was afraid to put my suspicions into words, even in my own head I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing Edward pulled his cell phone from a pocket inside his jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering "Hello, Charlie," he said warily "Charlie?" I frowned Charlie had been… difficult since my return to Forks He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions Toward Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edward was at fault — because, if not for him, I wouldn't have left home in the first place And Edward was far from disagreeing with him These days I had rules that hadn't existed before: curfews… visiting hours Something Charlie was saying made Edward's eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face "You're kidding!" He laughed "What is it?" I demanded He ignored me "Why don't you let me talk to him?" Edward suggested with evident pleasure He waited for a few seconds "Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen." His voice was very friendly, on the surface I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into "I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." Edward's tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued "To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned No offense And I'm sorry about your evening." He didn't sound sorry at all And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face My face and neck flushed crimson with anger I could feel the rage-induced tears starting to fill my eyes He looked at me in surprise "Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you." I ignored that "You're taking me to the prom!" I yelled It was embarrassingly obvious now If I'd been paying any attention at all, I'm sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings But I'd never dreamed he was thinking of subjecting me to this Didn't he know me at all? He wasn't expecting the force of my reaction, that was clear He pressed his lips together and his eyes narrowed "Don't be difficult, Bella." My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already "Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded in horror He gestured to his tuxedo "Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?" I was mortified First, because I'd missed the obvious And also because the vague suspicions — expectations, really — that I'd been forming all day, as Alice tried to transform me into a beauty queen, were so far wide of the mark My half-fearful hopes seemed very silly now I'd guessed there was some kind of occasion brewing But prom! That was the furthest thing from my mind The angry tears rolled over my cheeks I remembered with dismay that I was very uncharacteristically wearing mascara I wiped quickly under my eyes to prevent any smudges My hand was unblackened when I pulled it away; maybe Alice had known I would need waterproof makeup "This is completely ridiculous Why are you crying?" he demanded in frustration "Because I'm mad!" "Bella." He turned the full force of his scorching golden eyes on me "What?" I muttered, distracted "Humor me," he insisted His eyes were melting all my fury It was impossible to fight with him when he cheated like that I gave in with poor grace "Fine," I pouted, unable to glare as effectively as I would have liked "I'll go quietly But you'll see I'm way overdue for more bad luck I'll probably break my other leg Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!" I held out my good leg as evidence "Hmmm." He stared at my leg longer than was necessary "Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight." "Alice is going to be there?" That comforted me slightly "With Jasper, and Emmett… and Rosalie," he admitted The feeling of comfort disappeared There had been no progress with Rosalie, though I was on quite good terms with her sometimes-husband Emmett enjoyed having me around — he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilarious… or maybe it was just the fact that I fell down a lot that he found so funny Rosalie acted as if I didn't exist While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else "Is Charlie in on this?" I asked, suddenly suspicious "Of course." He grinned, and then chuckled "Apparently Tyler wasn't, though." I gritted my teeth How Tyler could be so delusional, I couldn't imagine At school, where Charlie couldn't interfere, Edward and I were inseparable — except for those rare sunny days We were at the school now; Rosalie's red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west He got out and walked around the car to open my door He held out his hand I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, feeling a secret twinge of smugness The lot was crowded with people in formal dress: witnesses He couldn't remove me forcibly from the car as he might have if we'd been alone He sighed "When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion — and then when someone mentions dancing…" He shook his head I gulped Dancing "Bella, I won't let anything hurt you — not even yourself I won't let go of you once, I promise." I thought about that and suddenly felt much better He could see that in my face "There, now," he said gently, "it won't be so bad." He leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist I took his other hand and let him lift me from the car He kept his arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms This dance was in the gym, of course It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance When we got inside, I giggled There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls "This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," I snickered "Well," he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table — he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward — "there are more than enough vampires present." I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space — no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin And Rosalie was… well, Rosalie She was beyond belief Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist I pitied every girl in the room, myself included "Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?" I whispered conspiratorially "And where you fit into that scheme?" He glared "Oh, I'm with the vampires, of course." He smiled reluctantly "Anything to get out of dancing." "Anything." He bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor I cringed against his arm and dragged my feet "I've got all night," he warned Eventually he towed me out to where his family was twirling elegantly — if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music I watched in horror "Edward." My throat was so dry I could only manage a whisper "I honestly can't dance!" I could feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest "Don't worry, silly," he whispered back "I can." He put my arms around his neck and lifted me to slide his feet under mine And then we were whirling, too "I feel like I'm five years old," I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing "You don't look five," he murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement — I smiled back I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myself… a little "Okay, this isn't half bad," I admitted But Edward was staring toward the doors, and his face was angry "What is it?" I wondered aloud I followed his gaze, disoriented by the spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering him Jacob Black, not in a tux, but in a long-sleeved white shirt and tie, his hair smoothed back into his usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us After the first shock of recognition, I couldn't help but feel bad for Jacob He was clearly uncomfortable — excruciatingly so His face was apologetic as his eyes met mine Edward snarled very quietly "Behave!" I hissed Edward's voice was scathing "He wants to chat with you." Jacob reached us then, the embarrassment and apology even more evident on his face "Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here." Jacob sounded like he'd been hoping the exact opposite But his smile was just as warm as ever "Hi, Jacob." I smiled back "What's up?" "Can I cut in?" he asked tentatively, glancing at Edward for the first time I was shocked to notice that Jacob didn't have to look up He must have grown half a foot since the first time I'd seen him Edward's face was composed, his expression blank His only answer was to set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back "Thanks," Jacob said amiably Edward just nodded, looking at me intently before he turned to walk away Jacob put his hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on his shoulders "Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?" He was smug "Six-two." We weren't really dancing — my leg made that impossible Instead we swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving our feet It was just as well; the recent growth spurt had left him looking gangly and uncoordinated, he was probably no better a dancer than I was "So, how did you end up here tonight?" I asked without true curiosity Considering Edward's reaction, I could guess "Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?" he admitted, slightly ashamed "Yes, I can," I muttered "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least Seen anything you like?" I teased, nodding toward a group of girls lined up against the wall like pastel confections "Yeah," he sighed "But she's taken." He glanced down to meet my curious gaze for just a second — then we both looked away, embarrassed "You look really pretty, by the way," he added shyly "Um, thanks So why did Billy pay you to come here?" I asked quickly, though I knew the answer Jacob didn't seem grateful for the subject change; he looked away, uncomfortable again "He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you I swear the old man is losing his mind." I joined in his laughter weakly "Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need," he confessed with a sheepish grin "Tell me, then I want you to get your car finished." I grinned back At least Jacob didn't believe any of this It made the situation a bit easier Against the wall, Edward was watching my face, his own face expressionless I saw a sophomore in a pink dress eyeing him with timid speculation, but he didn't seem to be aware of her Jacob looked away again, ashamed "Don't get mad, okay?" "There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob," I assured him "I won't even be mad at Billy Just say what you have to." "Well — this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella — he wants you to break up with your boyfriend He asked me to tell you 'please.'" He shook his head in disgust "He's still superstitious, eh?" "Yeah He was… kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix He didn't believe…"Jacob trailed off self-consciously My eyes narrowed "I fell." "I know that," Jacob said quickly "He thinks Edward had something to with me getting hurt." It wasn't a question, and despite my promise, I was angry Jacob wouldn't meet my eyes We weren't even bothering to sway to the music, though his hands were still on my waist, and mine around his neck "Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably won't believe this, but just so you know" — he looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my voice — "Edward really did save my life If it weren't for Edward and his father, I'd be dead." "I know," he claimed, but he sounded like my sincere words had affected him some Maybe he'd be able to convince Billy of this much, at least "Hey, I'm sorry you had to come this, Jacob," I apologized "At any rate, you get your parts, right?" "Yeah," he muttered He was still looking awkward… upset "There's more?" I asked in disbelief "Forget it," he mumbled, "I'll get a job and save the money myself." I glared at him until he met my gaze "Just spit it out, Jacob." "It's so bad." "I don't care Tell me," I insisted "Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad." He shook his head "He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that — and this is his plural, not mine" — he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air — '"We'll be watching.'" He watched warily for my reaction It sounded like something from a mafia movie I laughed out loud "Sorry you had to this, Jake," I snickered "I don't mind that much." He grinned in relief His eyes were appraising as they raked quickly over my dress "So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?" he asked hopefully "No," I sighed "Tell him I said thanks I know he means well." The song ended, and I dropped my arms His hands hesitated at my waist, and he glanced at my bum leg "Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?" Edward answered for me "That's all right, Jacob I'll take it from here." Jacob flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edward, who stood just beside us "Hey, I didn't see you there," he mumbled "I guess I'll see you around, Bella." He stepped back, waving halfheartedly I smiled "Yeah, I'll see you later." "Sorry," he said again before he turned for the door Edward's arms wound around me as the next song started It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didn't seem to concern him I leaned my head against his chest, content "Feeling better?" I teased "Not really," he said tersely "Don't be mad at Billy," I sighed "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake It's nothing personal." "I'm not mad at Billy," he corrected in a clipped voice "But his son is irritating me." I pulled back to look at him His face was very serious "Why?" "First of all, he made me break my promise." I stared at him in confusion He half-smiled "I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," he explained "Oh Well, I forgive you." "Thanks But there's something else." Edward frowned I waited patiently "He called you pretty," he finally continued, his frown deepening "That's practically an insult, the way you look right now You're much more than beautiful." I laughed "You might be a little biased." "I don't think that's it Besides, I have excellent eyesight." We were twirling again, my feet on his as he held me close "So are you going to explain the reason for all of this?" I wondered He looked down at me, confused, and I glared meaningfully at the crepe paper He considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym I caught a glimpse of Jessica and Mike dancing, staring at me curiously Jessica waved, and I smiled back quickly Angela was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Ben Cheney; she didn't look up from his eyes, a head lower than hers Lee and Samantha, Lauren, glaring toward us, with Conner; I could name every face that spiraled past me And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset As soon as we were alone, he swung me up into his arms, and carried me across the dark grounds till he reached the bench beneath the shadow of the madrone trees He sat there, keeping me cradled against his chest The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and his face glowed pale in the white light His mouth was hard, his eyes troubled "The point?" I prompted softly He ignored me, staring up at the moon "Twilight, again," he murmured "Another ending No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end." "Some things don't have to end," I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense He sighed "I brought you to the prom," he said slowly, finally answering my question, "because I don't want you to miss anything I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it I want you to be human I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have." I shuddered at his words, and then shook my head angrily "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this." He smiled briefly, but it didn't touch his eyes "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself." "That's because I was with you." We were quiet for a minute; he stared at the moon and I stared at him I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life "Will you tell me something?" he asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile "Don't I always?" "Just promise you'll tell me," he insisted, grinning I knew I was going to regret this almost instantly "Fine." "You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here," he began "I was," I interjected "Exactly," he agreed "But you must have had some other theory… I'm curious — what did you think I was dressing you up for?" Yes, instant regret I pursed my lips, hesitating "I don't want to tell you." "You promised," he objected "I know." "What's the problem?" I knew he thought it was mere embarrassment holding me back "I think it will make you mad — or sad." His brows pulled together over his eyes as he thought that through "I still want to know Please?" I sighed He waited "Well… I assumed it was some kind of… occasion But I didn't think it would be some trite human thing… prom!" I scoffed "Human?" he asked flatly He'd picked up on the key word I looked down at my dress, fidgeting with a stray piece of chiffon He waited in silence "Okay," I confessed in a rush "So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind… that you were going to change me, after all." A dozen emotions played across his face Some I recognized: anger… pain… and then he seemed to collect himself and his expression became amused "You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" he teased, touching the lapel of his tuxedo jacket I scowled to hide my embarrassment "I don't know how these things work To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does." He was still grinning "It's not funny," I said "No, you're right, it's not," he agreed, his smile fading "I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious." "But I am serious." He sighed deeply "I know And you're really that willing?" The pain was back in his eyes I bit my lip and nodded "So ready for this to be the end," he murmured, almost to himself, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started You're ready to give up everything." "It's not the end, it's the beginning," I disagreed under my breath "I'm not worth it," he said sadly "Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" I asked, raising my eyebrows "You obviously have the same blindness." "I know what I am." I sighed But his mercurial mood shifted on me He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing He examined my face for a long moment "You're ready now, then?" he asked "Um." I gulped "Yes?" He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw "Right now?" he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck I shivered involuntarily "Yes," I whispered, so my voice wouldn't have a chance to break If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed I'd already made this decision, and I was sure It didn't matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erratic… He chuckled darkly, and leaned away His face did look disappointed "You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone "A girl can dream." His eyebrows rose "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?" "Not exactly," I said, frowning at his word choice Monster, indeed "Mostly I dream about being with you forever." His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice "Bella." His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips "I will stay with you — isn't that enough?" I smiled under his fingertips "Enough for now." He frowned at my tenacity No one was going to surrender tonight He exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl I touched his face "Look," I said "I love you more than everything else in the world combined Isn't that enough?" "Yes, it is enough," he answered, smiling "Enough for forever." And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat Acknowledgments A huge thank you to: my parents, Steve and Candy, for a lifetime of love and support,S for reading great books to me when I was young, and for still holding my hand through the things that make me nervous; my husband, Pancho, and my sons, Gabe, Seth, and Eli, for sharing me so often with my imaginary friends; my friends at Writers House, Genevieve Gagne-Hawes, for giving me that first chance, and my agent Jodi Reamer, for turning the most unlikely dreams into realities; my editor Megan Tingley, for all her help in making Twilight better than it started out; my brothers, Paul and Jacob, for their expert advice on all my automotive questions; and my online family, the talented staff and writers at fansofrealitytv.com, particularly Kimberly "Shazzer," and Collin "Mantenna" for the encouragement, advice, and inspiration