74 Xa hgi hgc so (109), 2010 NHAN DINH CUA CAC BAC CHA ME VE CON CAI NGAY NAY (Nghien cijfu tri:fd^ng htfp xa T r i n h Xa, h u y e n B i n h L u c , t i n h Ha Nam) NGUYEN THI ANH TUYET* Nhflng nam gin day, ddi sd'ng eua ngfldi dan dfldc cai thien rd ret, bd mat ndng thdn cd nhflng bie'n dd'i nhanh chdng Qua trinh giao lflu va hdi nhap da md nhieu ed hdi nhflng eung dem de'n nhieu thach thflc Nhflng bie'n ddi quan he xa hdi mdt phan dfldc phan chieu trcng nhflng bie'n ddi eua eae quan he gia dinh Viee tim hieu thflc chat chat keo ke't dinh md'i quan he gifla eae vien gia dinh la mdt v l n de phflc tap Sfl gin bd gifla cle vien gia dinh ludn phu thude vao rat nhieu ye'u td' Dd khdng ehi ddn t h u i n la ye'u td' vat chat ma cdn la nhflng ye'u td' phi vat chat, nhflng gii tri tinh thin, tinh cam, dao dflc vd'n khdng the thie'u dfldc eude sd'ng hang eua gia dinh Thflc te cho thay, vfldt len tren t i t ca van la nhflng ye'u td' ve mat tinh cam, sfl yeu thfldng gan bd gifla d c vien gia dinh, dd sfl gin ke't gifla cha me va eon eii la ed sd quan trgng n b l t ddi vdi cac quan he gia dinh Ngay nay, cac bae cha me nhin nhan cen cai nhfl the nao, chflc nang xa hdi hda eua gia dinh ed gi thay dd'i so vdi trfldc day? De ly giai vln de nay, bai vie't tim Meu mdt so'khia canh xung quanh van de flng xfl eua eon cai qua nhflng nhan dinh eua eae bae cha me Ve n h a n d i n h "Con cai n a y k h o n g v a n g Idii c h a m e nhuf the?! toi b a n g t u o i cac c h a u b a y gid'' Nho giao quan niem, mud'n gia dinh ne ne'p, viec quan trgng nhat la cha me phai giio due eon d i Dd la trich nhiem eua ngfldi cha, ngfldi gia trfldng Gia dinh ne ne'p ddi hdi mdt ngfldi gia trfldng quan tam de'n gia dinh, ed trach nhiem, gfldng mlu, edng minh va ed uy tin Ca nha phai td ldng kinh trgng uy quyen cua ngfldi cha gia dinh, nhat la ngfldi me khdng bao gid dfldc cai ehdng trflde mat eon Trong viee giao due eon cai, ngfldi cha phai nghiem, ndi it nhflng dflng, edng bing va dflt khoat, thfldng eon nhflng cfldng quye't khdng de eho nhdn, tfl y mud'n lam gi thi lam Ngfldi me eung ed vai trd ra't ldn giao due cai, nhflng giao due theo d e h khae: giao due bing ldng thfldng, bing sfl hien tfl Ngudi cha nghiem lam sd, ngfldi me Men tfl lam eon yeu men khdng dam va khdng nd lam bay Ngay nay, viee giao due gia dinh khdng cdn k b i t khe nhfl xfla, song ve cd ban eae gia ' ThS, TrUdng Dgi hgc SUphgm nghe thugt trung Udng Nguyin Thi Anh Tuyei 75 dinh Viet Nam v l n gifl dfldc cd't loi cua nen giao due Nho gia: trat tfl tren dfldi phan minh, ngufdi dfldi nghe ldi ngfldi tren, cai phai vang ldi cha me Lien he vdi ke't qua khao sat tai Trinh Xa, hdi y kie'n eae bae cha me ve nhan dinh "Con cai khdng vang ldi cha me nhfl hdi tdi b i n g tudi cac chau bay gid" thi ty le "ddng y" chie'm 50% va ty le "khdng ddng y" chie'm 47% Ve ed ban ty le gifla "ddng y" va "khdng ddng y" vdi nhan dinh tren gin nhfl ngang Dieu khien chflng ta phai ed nhieu each ly giai va khao s i t dinh tinb cd the gdi md cho nhflng ly giai "Theo quan diem cua tdi cdc chdu vdn vdng ldi, xd hdi bdy gid khdng nhd ngdy xda md hdo ep cdc chdu theo minh ciing dugc Ngdy xUa yeu kem, cdc cu bdo the ndo theo the, tdn trgng cdc cu nhUng thdi budi bdy gid, xd hdi cd nhiiu vdn di Minh bdo ndphdi ldm the nhUng theo xd hdi nd khdng nhU the'dugc thi nd theo duge (PVS Nam, 60 tud'i, lam rudng) "Theo tdi la khdng ddng y Bdi vi the ndy, y kien rieng toi Bdo cdc chdu hdn khdng phdi, md ngoan cung khdng phdi vi bdy gid xd hdi phdt trien nhiiu mat vdn di nhu thdng tin gidi tri vui chai, nd nhiiu qud nen nhiiu mud'n cho minh theo dugc nhdng y tudng cua minh cung rdt la khd, vi nd xd hdi nd hda nhdp vdi nhdng cdi mdi y, minh ndi thi nd nghe khdng cdi, nhUng nghe xong thi thoi, de dd" (PVS Nam, 42 tud'i, lam rudng) "Theo tdi thi, ne'u ndi nd hdn, cdi lgi minh, thi tdi khdng nhdt tri rdi Vi du, nhieu tdt tivi nd tdt bdng diiu khien thi dng bdo phdi rut dien nd quay cdi la ko cdn phdi ldm the vdn tdt dugc Ddy la cdi trinh do, nhU ngdy xUa thi trinh thdp han, md bdy gid trinh nd cao han thi nd cdi the cdng dung thdi Cung td't Quan diem tdi khdng mudn cdi nghe ldi minh nhiiu qud Vi theo tdi, toi cung khdng phdi hgc vdn cao Con cdi chi cdn 5-lOp ngdi mdy tinh la nd biei cd the gidi xung quanh, cdn minh thi cd Id, ldm md biei nhanh bdng nd, nen khdng cdi dugc nd Dgy kinh trgng dng bd bd'me thdi, chd nhdng thd khde thi cdng khdng biei ddgc (TLN phu huynh) Nhfl vay, so vdi gia dinh truyen thd'ng, gia dinh da cd nhflng khae biet r i t nhieu quan niem ve "viee vang ldi" eua eon d i Nhin nhan eua d e bae cha me dd'i vdi eon cai da "thoing" hdn r i t nhieu sd vdi thdi trflde day, dfla eon khdng n b l t n b l t mgi viee deu phai theo y cha me, tham chl ed nhflng viec cha me phai hge theo eon cai Trfldc mdt xa bdi dang cd nhieu bie'n dd'i nhfl hien nay, dieu khdng lam ehung ta ngac nhien nhieu Tuy nhien ed mdt van de dat la dfldng nhfl eae bae cha me d ndng thdn Men thie'u trinh cung nhfl kinh nghiem viee giao due eon cai "Kien thdc nd cao han minh nhd ngdy xda nen cd nd van minh khdng ndi ddgc Hdi xda, be dd, minh ndi nd bdo me ndi nhiiu, chd biei gi todn ndi linh tinh Ong nd ndi: nd bdo ong ldm diiu, ldm chuyen" (PSV nfl, 42 tud'i) Ngay nay, gia dinh ed sfl truyen dat kinh nghiem sd'ng, kie'n thflc cua cha 76 Nhdn dinh cda cdc bdc cha me vi cdi ngdy me de'n cai va ngfldc lai tfl eon d i de'n cha me Nhfl vay, khdng phai ehi ed cha me la ngfldi hie'u bie't nhieu nhat, la ngfldi gidi nhat, la ngfldi t h i y nhat cua eon Ldp tre ed dieu kien tie'p xue vdi nhieu loai thdng tin, saeh bao nen thu nhan dfldc nhieu kie'n thflc mdi, dac biet la viec tie'p xue thfldng xuyen vdi mang thdng tin toan e l u lam eho hg nhay ben va nang ddng Bdi vay nhieu dieu cha me ein ling nghe eon, tie'p thu nhflng dieu minh ehfla bie't, khdng ap dat, gia trfldng Dieu ddi hdi eae bae cha me phai ed them nhflng tri thflc mdi phfl hdp vdi xa hdi va thdi dai Trong gia dinh xua't Men nhflng sfl khdng thd'ng n h i t ve gia tri ehuan mfle gifla cha me va eon cai dan tdi sfl lung tung, thie'u bien phap kie'n thflc giao due eon cai eua ele bae phu huynh gia dinh De ed the khle phue khd khan nay, khdng ed each nao khac, d e bae cha me e i n phai dd'i mdi ban than, nang eao trinh hge van va Meu bie't de khdng bi ldi thdi, lae hau Ben eanh dd viee trau ddi kie'n thflc kinh nghiem khoa hge thfldng thflc ve giio due tre em gia dinh ein dfldc eae phu huynh quan tam; cd nhfl vay mdi thflc Men td't dfldc vai trd cua minh giao due Chinh vi vay ty le eae bae cha me nhin nhan ve viec "eon cai khdng vang ldi nhfl hdi tdi b i n g tud'i d e chau bay gid" la cd ed sd Day ed le eung la dieu de hieu ma ndng thdn Viet Nam dang thdi ky ehuyen dd'i va dia ban nghien cflu lai la ndi giap ranh dd thi Cd le vi the ma eae gia tri truyen thd'ng d ndng thdn dang phai nhat d i n nhflng khdng mat di hoan toan, d e gii tri mdi x u l t hien dan cai nhflng ehfla the ll'n Ifldt hoan toan eae gii tri truyen thd'ng Ve n h a n dinh "Con cai it gan bo vdi ho hang nhif thdi toi bang tuoi cac chau bay gid" Lau nay, tren sleh bao, ehung ta eung thfldng b i t gap nhflng bai vie't ve mau thuin, xung dot gia dinh, ddng hg, thdn lang xay ndi ndi kia, lfle nay, lfle khle Trflde thflc te dd, nhieu ngfldi lo ngai r i n g bd'i eanh edng nghiep hda, hien dai hda va n b l t la dieu kien dd thi hda nhanh va sfl t i e ddng manh me eua nen kinb te' thi trfldng, lieu the he tre ed edn gan bd vdi hg hang nhfl thdi xfla khdng hay da hi mai mdt din De gdp p h i n tra ldi eho ban khoan dd, nghien cflu eung da dfla nhan dinh "eon cai khdng gan bd vdi hg hang nhfl thdi tdi b i n g tud'i eae chau bay gid" de hdi eae gia dinh dfldc khao s i t Ke't qua thu dfldc eho thiy, ty le "khdng ddng y" vdi quan niem tren chie'm 52%, "ddng y" chie'm 42% Nhfl vay, y kien ve nhan dinh "con d i khdng gan bd vdi hg hang nhfl thdi tdi b i n g tud'i cle ehiu bay gid" eho t h i y khae vdi nhan dinh "con cai khdng vang ldi cha me nhfl thdi tdi bang tud'i cae chau bay gid" Tuy nhien sfl khle biet khdng nhieu va ed the ly giai dfldc Giao due y thflc ve ddng hg, dao dflc, nguyen tac flng xut ddng hg cho mdi ^;hanh vien la mdt nhflng ndi dung xa hdi hda quan trgng Tuc ngfl Viet Nam cd cau: "Chim ed td', ngfldi ed tdng", nhd ve cha me, dng ba eu ki, td' tien la mdt dao ly tfl Nguyin Thi Anh Tuyei '^7 ngan xfla eua ngfldi Viet Nam, la le tfl nhien, la Ifldng tri, la tinh cam, la sflc manh cua moi ngfldi ehung ta Le sd'ng eua ngfldi Viet Nam ta tfl ldn len cho de'n nham mat xudi tay la mang mdt trach nhiem vdi nhflng ngfldi xung quanh, vdi gia dinh, hg hang, lang xdm Tuc ngfl cd cau: "Chet mdt dd'ng hdn sd'ng mdt ngfldi" da ndi len trach nhiem vi tap the, vi gia dinh, hg hang ciia ngfldi Viet Nam Do vay, dfldng nhfl tat ea nhflng quan niem l y da an sau vao tiem thflc cua mdi ngfldi dan Viet ndi ehung va efl dan d Trinh Xa eung khdng phai ngoai le Nblt la kbi ddng hg ludn g i n lien vdi cd d u lang xa thi viee cai gan bd vdi bg bang vfla la mdt gia tri tam linh vfla la gia tri van hda tinb than Con sd' hdn 52% khdng ddng y vdi nhan dinh tren la tin hieu dang mflng ddi vdi nhflng ngfldi dflng ve phia eoi trgng cac gia tri truyen thd'ng V i khia eanh van hda tinh thin, ddng hg dd'i vdi ngfldi dan ndng thdn tfl xfla de'n v l n la ehd dfla "vflng chai va vinh bing" dd'i vdi tflng vien eua nd Dung nhfl nhan xet eua nha nghien cflu T r i n Tfl, r i n g b i t Man hien thflc ed diin nhfl the' nao thi " d u true M u thflc", tflc la quan niem eiia ngfldi dan, hg hang van ed vi tri cflc ky quan trgng Tuy nhien, ben eanh ty le "khdng ddng y" vdi nhan dinh tren chiem da sd' thi cung ed de'n 42% ty le "ddng y" vdi nhan dinh tren Day eung la eon sd' dang ke ndi len each nhin nhan ve eon cai khdng hoan toan nhfl thdi bd' me bg Qua phdng van sau eho tha'y dfldi tae ddng cua kinh te' thi trfldng, n h i t la nhflng gia dinh ed eon cai di lam an xa khdng cd dieu kien quan tam de'n ngfldi than gia dinh tdi hg hang nhfl thdi cha me hg (5): Cung dung ddy, vi du, tuc le edc cu la hddng vi tap trung hg hdng bdn hgc hgp hdnh, nhdng md gid thi ben hg tdi cdi dd cung cho qua thdi TrUdc tap trung chdu rdt ddng, nhUng gid thi ldm dn xa, kinh te, khdng tap trung dugc Ddy hg nhd tdi la the ddy Ngdy xUa dinh chua cdc thd nhiiu ldm Den bdy gid nd nhdm (4): Theo tdi thi cung la giai dogn, ngdy xda kinh te'khd khdn khong thodt ly ddgc, mgi ngddi d cung nhau, gian dogn kinh tethi trddng thi ngddi ta xa di ldm nhiiu, td nghi nghiep nen la hg cd quyin di tim viec ldm, nhdn^ thdnh dgt roi la hg vdn ddng gdp, vdn giup dd (3): Cd diiu la hg ngdy vui thi khdng vi ddgc, nhdng vi cdi tdm thi vdn gid vi nai sinh vd ldn len, hg vdn gdn bd, vdn gid tiin nong qud cdp ddng gdp cho hg hdng i (1): Bdy gid quan niem cdng thoang thdi Ngdy xda mdt ngddi miin Nam, ngddi miin Bdc vdi ndm khdng vi dddc, thi ed thi den vdi ndm cung khdng lien lac gi ddgc Nhdng gid thi diiu kien ngddi ta cd the ggi dien thddng xuyen TLN ngfldi dan Trinh Xa Quan he hg hang ve can ban thda man chflc nang tinh cam, sfl nfldng tfla ve tinh t h i n dfla treii ye'u to' tdn giao thd eung td' tien va ye'u td' huyet thd'ng Ngay nay, chflc nang dd ve can ban v l n dfldc tri, nhflng It chat ehe nhfl xfla ve mat hinh thflc Trfldc nhflng bie'n dd'i cua kinh te - xa hdi, quan niem eua ngfldi dan ndi day eung da ed nhieu thay dd'i Sfl thay dd'i dd the Men d eho, gan bd hg hang khdng nha't 78 Nhgn dinh cua cdc bdc cha me vi cdi ngdy thie't phai gap m^t thfldng xuyen ma ed th^ lien lae qua cae phfldng tien thdng tin Men dai, ngfldi d xa bang each each khae ed the ed nhflng ddng gdp ve mat kinh te de tu bd, xay md td' hoae nhflng edng viee ehung khae eua hg tde Mat nao dd ed the ndi ngfldi dan ndng thdn da thflc te hdn quan niem ve sfl gan bd hg hang, nhien trdng bd'i canh hien nay, dd cung la each lam cho mdi quan he hg hang khdng hi phai nhat Ve nhan dinh "Con gai ijfng xuf giong trai htfn thdi toi bang tuoi cac chau bay gid" Trong giio due gia dinh, ben eanh viee giio due each flng xfl ddi vdi cha me, nhflng ngfldi ldn tud'i, hg hang thi giio due gidi tinh cung la mdt bd phan cua giao due nhan d e h Gilo due gidi tinh la lam eho mdi gidi y thflc dfldc ban sic rieng cua gidi minh Nfl la nfl Nam la nam Day cung dfldc xem la mdt nhflng ndi dung quan trgng d i n h gia viee giao due gia dinh dd'i vdi eon eii eung nhfl d i n h gia anh hfldng eiia mdi trfldng xa hdi de'n nhflng thay ddi gia tri ehuan mfle d e h flng xfl eua gidi tre Khi dfldc hdi ve nhan dinh "eon gai flng xfl gid'ng eon trai bdn thdi tdi bang tudi cac chau bay gid" thi cd de'n 67.5% y kie'n "ddng y" va chi cd 21.8% y kie'n "khdng ddng y" P h i n ddng eho r i n g eon gai flng xfl gid'ng trai Day la mdt chi bio dang de chung ta phai quan tam Truyen thd'ng A - Ddng, ngfldi me ed vai trd quan trgng viee giao due tinh cam va sfl kheo leo, dae biet la ddi vdi eon gii Ndi dung day dd eua ngfldi me ddi vdi eon gai bao gdm: cdng, dung, ngdn, hanh "Cdng" la day each may va, lam eae edng viee ndi trd, lam ed ban eung te, tie'p khieh "Dung" la day trau ddi ve dep tfl ding di dflng, each an mac de'n each trang diem lam eho ggn gang saeh se, nghiem chinh, di dflng khoan thai, ve mat diu dang, tfldi cfldi, an mac trang nha "Ngdn" la day each an ndi, flng xxi vdi mgi ngfldi, tranh nhflng ldi thd tue, ehua ngoa, danh da lam ba lang nfldc khd chiu, bie't thfla gfli flng dd'i lieh sfl, khdn kheo "Hanh" la ndi ve dao dflc, trflde he't la dflc tinh Men tfl, rdng rai, bie't thfldng ngfldi, giup dd ngfldi, khdng cay nghiet, dde ac, khdng kieu xa, ghen tudng^ Con ngfldi ehi d n lam theo, hgc theo eae bae tien td, chep, rap khudn theo nhflng khudn mau ed san lich sfl, khdng ein va khdng dfldc phep sang tac hay sfla dd'i gi khae vdi cha dng Diy la dae diem eua xa hdi ndng nghiep lae hau vdi pham vi giao tie'p va boat ddng eua ngfldi ehi ddng khung gia dinh, lang xa Ngay nay, xa bdi da ed nhieu thay dd'i, eae ehuan mfle dao dflc, quan niem ve d i dep ndi ehung va cii dep eiia ngfldi eon gai eung thay dd'i theo tflng giai doan Chfla bao gid sfl binh dang nam nfl dfldc de cap nhieu nhfl giai doan vfla qua Va eung ehfla bao gid quyen binh dang gidi d nfldc ta cd sfl tien bd vfldt bae nhfl Men Xet tren khia eanh binh dang gidi, vide eon trai flng xfl gid'ng eon gai la tin hieu td't Dd la bflde tie'n eua xa hdi Nhflng xet ve gdc gidi tinh thi nen chang day lai la ^ Trdn Dinh Hugu, Ve gia dinh truyin thdng VietNam vdi dnh hudng Nho gido, Tgp chi Xd hgi hgc sd2, 1989 Nguyin Thi Anh Tuyet 79 va'n de xa hdi d n phai ban Binh dang gidi khdng ed ngbia la "nam nfl phai nhu nhau" Anh la nam gidi anh lam dfldc cai tdi eung phai lam dfldc cai - dd la nhan thflc sai lam vi ban than nd la "phu nhan sach trdn" gidi tinh vd'n la tfl nhien Gidi tinh dem lai eho eon gai sfl hap d i n nam gidi va ngfldc lai Ne'u dieu dd ma't di thiet nghi sfl vd vi se xay ddi vdi ca hai gidi Chflng ta dang hfldng de'n sfl edng bang va van minh, ngfldi phu nfl tim dfldc vi tri cua minh gia dinh va ngoai xa hdi, vfla ganh vac viee xa hdi vfla phai lam trdn bdn phan gia dinh Tham chi hg phai lam viee nhieu hdn nam gidi Hdn the nfla, ehung ta dang d thdi ky eua the gidi phang, nhflng tfl tfldng mdi eung nhfl nhflng gia tri van hda phfldng Tay khdng ngflng du nhap vao mdi ea nhan qua eae phfldng tien thdng tin dai ehung, dae biet la internet Do dd ea nhan ed dieu kien tie'p thu nhflng cai mdi nhieu hdn dd ed ea nhflng dieu phfl hdp vdi hoan eanh va cung ed nhflng dieu ehfla phfl hdp Dflng d gdc binh dang gidi, viee eon gai flng xii gid'ng eon trai la mdt d i u hieu eho t h i y mdt bflde tie'n d i n g ke sfl binh dang nam nfl Dflng d gdc nhin nhan dflc tinh eua ngfldi eon gai xfla va nhfl mdt gia tri thi d day lai xay sfl xung dot ve gia tri va xung dot gia tri la t i t ye'u sfl va cham eua eae nen van minb^ Tuy nhien, xa hdi Viet Nam tfl tfldng cung edn mang dam tinh A Ddng, binh anh ve mdt ngfldi eon gai xfla van edn de lai nhieu I n tfldng dep mdi ehung ta Do vay, bd'n chfl "edng, dung, ngdn, banh" nen dfldc hieu theo nghia rdng hdn phfl hdp vdi thflc te hdn bdi dao dflc, sfl kheo leo, sfl diu dang, sfl thuy ehung eon gii thdi nao eung e i n ed "Thay ddi vdn phdi gid ddgc sU diim dgm cua ngUdi phu nd Viet Nam thi tdi cdn ne'u thay ddi todn dien thi khdng tdi Vdn nen gid cd't cdch cda ngUifi phu nd Viet Nam truyin thd'ng (PVS Nam, 60 tudi); Td't nhdt la nen tiep thu cdi dep vd giU cdi dep, nen gin gid it nhiiu net truyen thd'ng la diiu td't nhdt, ddc biet la d ndng thdn ndy (Nam, 30 tudi); Gid gdi cd nhd ngdy xUa thi tdi hOn (Nd, 42 tudi) Dd'i tfldng ma ehung ta dang ban de'n d day la nhdm thie'u nien Mdi nganh khoa hge ed mdt d e h nhin nhan khae ve nieh Ne'u xet d gdc sinh hgc, thi nien la nhflng d nhan dang hoan thien ve the chit Xet dfldi gdc tam ly tbi thie'u nien la thdi ky dang d i n hoan thien ve nhan each O thdi ky eae e l nhan dang tieh cflc tie'p nhan nhflng gii tri ehuan mfle xa hdi, thie't lap tfldng tae xa hdi mdi Giai doan nhflng tac nhan xa hdi hda nhfl gia dinh, nha trfldng, nhdm ban be, eae phfldng tien truyen thdng dai ehung ddng vai trd quan trgng Nhflng sfl tfldng tae eua eae em vdi cha me d giai doan diin thfldng xuyen hdn, dd viee ud'n n i n hfldng d e em theo nhflng ehuan mfle gia tri phfl hdp vdi vai trd eua cac em la trgng trach eua ele bae cha me Tfl dd eung ddi hdi cae bae cha me phai ed them nhflng tri thflc mdi phfl hdp phu hdp vdi xa hdi va thdi dai P h i t trien la mdt qua trinh lien tuc, mdt sfl phflc hdp gifla cai mdi va cai cfl Chieu theo sfl phat trie'n, ben eanh nhflng chuan mfle truyen thd'ng, da x u l t Men ^ Xem: Samuel P Hdntingtan: Su va cham cua cdc nin vdn minh, Nxb Lao dgng, Hd Ngi, 2003 80 Nhdn dinh cua cdc bdc cha me vi cdi ngdy nhflng chuan mfle mdi ddng thdi cflng tdn tai gia dinh ndng thdn Men Sfl dan cai gifla d i mdi va eii eu dfldc the hien ro qua each nhin nhan ve eon cai cua cle bae cha me da ed nhieu thay dd'i Sfl thay dd'i dd the Men d sfl ehuyen dd'i he thd'ng eae ehuan mfle, gii tri: eon cai khdng vang ldi cha me nhfl xfla, cai It gan bd hg hang hdn xfla, eon gai lai flng xfl gid'ng eon trai hdn xfla T i t ea nhflng dieu dd dfldc danh gii theo tflng khudn m l u khac nhflng tflu chung lai mfle "ddng y" va "khdng ddng y" vdi moi nhan dinh khdng ed sfl chenh lech ldn Dieu ndi len r i n g cac quan niem truyen thd'ng dang d i n bi lan Ifldt bdi d e gia tri Men dai nhflng ehfla bi loai bd hoan toan Do dd ed the khang dinh: Cd sfl chuyen ddi chflc nang xa hdi hda gia dinh Men Quan he gifla cha me va eon d i thflc chat la md'i quan he tfldng tie nhieu chieu ma ke't qua eua nd la qua trinh dan xen gifla nhflng gia tri truyen thd'ng va nhflng gia tri Men dai./ Tai lieu t h a m k h a o Dang Canh Khanh: Gia dinh tre em vd sU ke'thda cdc gid tri truyin thd'ng, Nxb Lao ddng xa hdi, Ha Ndi - 2003 Le Ngge Hflng: Tre em, ngUdi gid vd tUOng tdc the he gia dinh ngUdi Viet, Tap chl Gia dinh va tre em, ky 1, t h i n g 6/2006 Le Ngge Van: Gia dinh Viet Nam vdi chdc ndng xd hdi hda, Nxb Giao due Ha Ndi - 1998 Mai Huy Bieh: Xd hdi hgc gia dinh, Nxb Khoa hge xa hdi Ha Ndi - 2003 Mai Quynh Nam (ehu bien): Nhdng vdn di xd hdi hgc cdng cudc ddi mdi, Nxb Chinh tri qud'c gia, Ha Ndi, 2006 Phan Dai Doan: Mdt sdvdn de vi Nho gido Viet Nam, Nxb Chinh tri Qud'c gia Ha Ndi - 1998 Phan Ke Binh: Viet Nam phong tuc Nxb Van hoa thdng tin Ha Ndi, 2003 Rita Liljestrom - Tfldng Lai (ehu bien): Nhdng nghien cdu xd hdi hgc vi gia dinh Viet Nam (tap 1), Nxb Khoa hge xa hdi Ha Ndi - 1991 Tfldng Lai (ehu bien): Nhdng nghien cdu xd hdi hgc vi gia dinh Viet Nam (tap 2), Nxb Khoa hge xa hdi, Ha Ndi - 1996 10 Vu Manh Ldi: Khde biet nam nd gia dinh ndng thon ddng hdng Bae Bg Tap chl xa hdi hge, sd'2, 1999 11 Tran Dinh Hfldu: Vi gia dinh truyin thdng Viet Nam vdi dnh hudng Nho gido, Tap chl Xa hdi hge sd'2, 1989 ... tren, cai phai vang ldi cha me Lien he vdi ke't qua khao sat tai Trinh Xa, hdi y kie'n eae bae cha me ve nhan dinh "Con cai khdng vang ldi cha me nhfl hdi tdi b i n g tudi cac chau bay gid" thi ty... nfl, 42 tud'i) Ngay nay, gia dinh ed sfl truyen dat kinh nghiem sd'ng, kie'n thflc cua cha 76 Nhdn dinh cda cdc bdc cha me vi cdi ngdy me de'n cai va ngfldc lai tfl eon d i de'n cha me Nhfl vay,... nhan eua d e bae cha me dd'i vdi eon cai da "thoing" hdn r i t nhieu sd vdi thdi trflde day, dfla eon khdng n b l t n b l t mgi viee deu phai theo y cha me, tham chl ed nhflng viec cha me phai hge