Da dang kieu loai gia flinh xu thg'''' khdch quan ciia xa hoi Viet Nam

Nghien ciiu Gia d i n h v a G i i So - w> Da dang kieu loai gia flinh xu thg' khdch quan ciia xa hoi Viet Nam duong dai Nguyen Hong IVIai Trudng Dai hoc Van hoa Ha N6i Tdm tat: Npi ham ciia khai niem gia dinh v6i cac tieu chf nhan dien cang trd nen chat choi so v6i thiic trang gia dinh Viet Nam dUdng dai Nhieu kieu loai mdi xua't hien va ton tai song hanh vdi mo hinh gia dinh truyen tho'ng Chung la ke't qua ta't yeu, khach quan cua nhiirng bie'n dong kinh te - chfnh tri, van hoa - xa hoi, dac biet la su da dang quan niem ciia moi ca nhan ve hanh phuc Bai viet trinh bay mot so'tieu chi nhan dien gia dinh hien va giai phap cho van de da dang kieu loai gia dinh Nghien ciiu cho rang can thiet phai co nhiJng thay doi nhan thiJc ciia duf luan xa hoi ve nhUng dang thiJtc gia dinh nhay cam nham ton sU khac biet va tranh nhutng dinh kie'n, ky thi; mat khac, he tho'ng phap luat ve hon nhan gia dinh can phai co nhiing chinh sach cdi md phii hdp v6i xu the phat trien khach quan ciia xa hoi Viet Nam dUdng dai Ti^ khda: Gia dinh; Hon nhan - Gia dinh; Kieu loai gia dinh Gia dinh - cac tieu chi nhan dien Cung tuang tu nhu thao luan vl khai niem "Van hda", gidi nghien Cliu (trudc het la cac nha xa hdi hpc) da nhan thay ndi ham qua ldng leo ciia thuat ngur "gia dinh" (Tuang Lai 1996:321) Mpi ngudi dang mudn diln dich lai khai niem Cd ngudi dl nghi phan tach lhanh hai dang: khai niem cd tfnh hpc thuat va quan niem thdng dung dl quan ly xa hdi Nguyen Hong Mai 19 Trong cac nha khoa hpc ludn tranh cai trudc su phirc tap cua thuc tiln ihi chfnh phu nhilu qud'c gia van su dung khai niem cd tfnh kinh diln thudng han hep - vdi muc dfch chu ydu "nham hgn ehe vice phdi eung cap ede dieh vu ehdm sdc y te'va ede khodn trp cap xd hpi khde " (Dang Canh Khanh va Le Thi Quy, 2007:55) Khoang each cang xa giira quan niem truyin thdng vl gia dinh va cac dang thurc gia dinh dang ldn lai da lam xu^t hien nhilu bat dn he thd'ng quan ly Mdt bp phan bi loai khdi each hiiu thdng thudng va cd nghia dumg ngoai luat phap, khdng dugc sir bao ve, trg giup ciia chfnh sach xa hdi, cung nhu chju dung nhumg dinh kidn va ky thj ciia cdng ddng Mac dii dac dilm cua nhdm xa hdi cd ten '*gia dinh" cd thi thay ddi giiira cac nen van hda hay ban than mdt nin van hda, dii rang "dinh nglua ve gia dinh edn jdiu thupc vdo viee nhin nhdn gia dinh bd'i cdnh two, thdi diem tiao vd phu thudc cd veto gde dp md ngifcyi dinh nglua nhin nhdn vc gia dinh " (Le Ngpc Van, 2011:37), nhung ve mal khoa hpc van c^n xac lap cac tieu chf nhan dien ca ban Lau nay, nhan dien gia dinh, gidi nghien cim tuang ddi thd'ng nha'l nhae ddn tieu ehi: nhdm ngudi: cd quan he hdn nhan - huye'i thdng (va nudi dudng); cd dac trung gidi tfnh qua quan he hdn nhan, sdng chung va cd ngan sach chung (Le Ngpc Van, 2011:38) Md hinh gia dinh truyin thdng d nudc ta phii hgp vdi each nhan dien Tuy nhien, nhilu gia dinh hien mdl sd lieu chf khdng cdn mang tfnh bat budc Trudc he't, hai lieu chf 'sdng ehung" va "ngdn sdch ehung"giu'a nhimg ngudi ciing gia dinh dang dung dd vdi mdt xu hudng cd tfnh loan cau - dd la su chuyin djch dan cu Tir chd sinh sdng ca ddi dudi mdt mai nha, tham canh tren mdl manh rudng hien ngudi ta rdi bd gia dinh xua't than sdm han, xa each ngudi than thudng xuyen va thdi gian dai han Tac ddng ciia cudc each mang cdng nghiep hda va xu the loan c^u hda khdng nhumg cang md rdng ban kfnh ciia viec lua chpn hdn nhan - nhumg mdi tinh vugt khdi cdng lang, bang qua vung miln \a xuyen qudc gia - (Nguyin Hdng Mai 2012:5) ma cdn tao khoang u-dng vdng cang ldn giira nhihig ngudi rudt thit Dilu kien lao ddng hpc lap ludn cang thang vdi cudng dd cao chfnh la rao can ngan ird khao khat doan tu VI thd khai niem hd {cdnh cifa) nha'n manh yeu id ddng r/r da ddi nham phan xuat mdl yeu id khdng nha'l thiet phai cd d gia dinh hien dai Nhirng ngudi irong gia dinh co Ihl sdng d nhilu hd khac \a hd cd the bao gdm nhirng ngudi khdng cd quan he hdn nhan - hu\ et ihdng Do bi rang budc bdi tieu chi truyin thdng, cd nha nghien ciiru Nan mudn dua yeu td "sd'ng ehung" 20 Nghien curu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 23, so 2, tr 18-28 vao dac dilm gia dinh vdi lap luan: mdt mat, sd'ng chung dugc coi la nguyen tac ca ban, xa each chi mang tinh tam thdi; mat khac, sdng chung dugc diln dich la "eung chimg sdng", cac vien van cd chung mdt cudc sd'ng, ciing chia se \M\ budn (Dam Dai Chinh, 2009:59) Thtrc ra, nhilu gia dinh hien dai khdng chi sd'ng rieng ma cung khdng cd dilu kien ciing chia se Khi khoang each dja ly qua xa, nhjp sd'ng hd'i ha, mdi ca nhan diu phai tu giai quyel va'n de ciia minh hoac tim kidm su trg giup ciia nhiimg ngudi g^n nha't chur khdng phai gia dinh Han thd xa hdi, dang xuat hien kilu gia dinh di lai giura hai noi, nhu he qua ciia nhu cau va ap luc cdng viec Giai doan trudc vdi dja vj phu thudc (thuyen theo ldi), phu nur thudng la dd'i lugng chuyen djch theo chdng nham " hgp ly hda gia dinh" Cdn bay gid, vdi su gia tang y thirc binh dang gidi, ngudi vg dugc quyin bao ve muc tieu nghi nghiep ma minh lua chpn nen hinh kilu nha "mdt chdn ddi nai", xum hpp gia dinh mang m^u sac tham hdi ljch lam viec cho phep Dang thirc gia dinh cd nhilu dilu ha'p dan Nd cho phep mdi ngudi cd dilu kien dat dugc cdng, thang lien su nghiep, cd kha nang sdng ddc lap, cd quyin dilu chinh thdi gian bilu rieng va dac biet, giam thiiu dugc "sif tdtdm chdn " vdn hay xua't hien d cac gia dinh ddng cu Nhimg nhiJng cang thang mdi se sinh, la sir cd don, thie'u chia se, ddng cam cung nhu thieu mau hinh ngudi cha hoac ngudi me giao due tre Tieu chf "ngdn sdch ehung" cung se thay ddi nhirng cudc chuyin dich nhan khau nhu vay Gia dinh truyin thd'ng trudc la mdl dom vi kinh td tuang ddi ddc lap, chu yeu tu cung tu cap Toan bd thu nhap tao nen bdi sure lao ddng ciia cac vien dugc thu vl mdt md'i nham thda man phiic lgi chung cQa gia dinh, kl ca phan tfch luy Ngudi dan ba dugc coi la ndi tudng giir trpng trach "tay hdm ehia khda ", nhung quyin phan phd'i phiic lgi thudc ve dng chu gia dinh, hoac may man hom, hp dugc bay td y kidn dl chdng tham khao Van dl thu - chi d gia dinh hien da khac Dii cd sdng chung, cac vien gia dmh cQng ft lam chung Do tinh chat da dang cQa cdng viec muu sinh, nai san xua'l - kinh doanh tach khdi nai sinh hoat, hp khd long kilm soat thu nhap ciia Gia dinh thudng la bl chua mdt phan thu nhap ciia mdi ngudi va cung cd quyin cd tai khoan rieng va ddng gdp theo thda udc VI thd mdi cd chuyen \'ao nhimg ll nao dd, ngudi tang vao tai khoan ciia ngudi mpt mdn qua tir phan tai san rieng cua minh Nhd quan ly thu nhap bang lai khoan, quan IS tai san bang gia'y td sd him ma luat phap cd ca sd khach Nguyen Hong Mai 21 quan dl phan dinh vdn lidng rieng ciia mdi ngudi cd trudc va sau thdi ky kdt hdn Ldi quy udc mang dam tfnh chlft tinh cam lau "ctw chong cong vpf" se khdng de dang trudc nhirng can cir khach quan a'y Do cdng viec ndi trg - mpt loai lao ddng ra't khd djnh gia vl kinh td nen khdng it ngudi phu nir da trang tay ly hdn, bdi le khdng can dong dem dugc gia trj vat ch^t ciia viec cham chdng, nudi Cung chinh vi vay, quan niem cho rang "edi gi td't cho gia ditih, theo nglua tcmg the, eiing se tdt cho tifng thdnh vien ", khdng phai bao gid cung diing lgi fch ciia mdi ca nhan gia dinh khdng cdn ddng nhat Dac dilm "quan he hdn nhdn - huyet thdng" (gia dinh cd dii quan he va chdng va quan he cha me - cai) va "(d ddc tntng gidi tinh qua quan he lum nhcm " (quan he tfnh giao dj tfnh) la nhumg yeu td ca ban nhat nhae tdi gia dinh, nhung hai tieu chf da cd nhumg bie'n the mdt sd nhdm ngudi van dugc coi la gia dinh Theo quy djnh ciia Luat Hdn nhan va Gia dinh nam 2000, ben canh hdn nhdn hap phdp cdn cd lum nhdn thifc te O thdi dilm ban hanh luat, hdn nhan thuc te dugc giai thfch la nhumg cudc hdn nhan du dilu kien sinh hpc va xa hdi dl dang ky kel hdn nhung khdng thuc hien dugc vl nhilu ly khac va day la tdn dpng ciia lich sijf Tlieo dd, hdn nhan thuc te u-ude 1987 mac nhien duac coi nhu hdn nhan hgp phap vl chua lam thii tuc phap ly nhung da dugc su xac nhan Clia cdng ddng hoac nghi II tdn giao Tuy nhien, hien nay, d ca hai nhdm hdn nhan hgp phap va hdn nhan thuc te diu ldn tai nhii'ng kieu loai cd nhieu khac biet so vdi each hieu truyin thdng Ty le gia dinh ly hdn (hoac dang ly than), tai hdn, gia dinh kei ban cua ngudi gia, nhumg gia dinh da sac tdc cang tang Mdi kieu loai diu phan anh mdt khfa canh birc xiic cua xa hdi Gia dinh kel ban ciia ngudi cao ludi la mdt vf du Neu trudc day, ngudi ta thudng it sdng den ngii, luc tuan, thi tuoi thp da tang, ngudi cao tudi sd'ng khde manh vdi nhu elu tam ly - tinh cam sau sac han Ngay trudc, ngudi gia ludn dugc cai gan gui, cham sdc, kl ca su trg giup Clia ho hang lang xdm nhung nhieu ngudi dang phai sd'ng cd dan du canh canh chau Cung vl the, nhilu ngudi ldn ludi d canh gda bua, don than cd nhu c^u den vdi iao dung hanh phiie budi \c chilu, khdng philn luy chau dang qua ban rdn vdi cdng viec muu sinh Ngay quan niem tuang ddng ludi lac ket hdn cung da khac trudc Trudc day thdng ihudng ngudi chdng han ngudi \ a vai ludi Tuy nhien, hien ngudi ta cd xu hudng thich lay ngudi bang ludi hoac vg hom ludi chdng, hoac ngudi chdng cd ihl Idn gap hai ba \ix\ tudi vg, nhirng quan 22 Nghien ciiru Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 23, sd 2, tr 18-28 niem khac vl hanh phiic Ngudi ngoai thudng truy tim ddng ca cd tinh vu lgi ma nhilu bd qua muc tieu tdt dep ma ngudi cudc dang theo dudi mdt each chan Nhdm "hdn tihdn tlufc te" - nhumg cudc kdt hdn khdng c^n hoac khdng dugc luat phap cdng nhan - cdn da dang hon, bao gdm nhumg ngudi sd'ng chung khdng hdn thii, gia dinh me (cha) don than, gia dinh ire vi nien (dd tudi thap han quy djnh) va gia dinh ngudi ddng linh Cac hinh thiire khdng mang dii tieu chf kinh diln cua gia dinh va dang vi pham quy djnh hien hanh cua phap luat Lua chpn hinh thii'c chung sd'ng khdng hdn thii cd thi thudc vl ngudi dj tfnh, kl ca nhirng ngudi cd du dilu kien de ke't hdn hgp phap nhung da iir chd'i hoac ldn li]fa viec ke't hdn Nhilu nha nghien cum gpi day la hien tugng "sdng thif", Thuc ra, quan niem "'sdng thif" (tap dugt thiif thach trudc lam dam cudi) khdng chi phdi mpi trudng hgp, da sd cac cap ddi van quan niem "sdng that" nhung khdng danh gia cao hoac ky vong vao ll cudi trang u-gng hay td giay hdn thii, nhiimg ydu td - theo hp - khdng cdn mang y nghia ca ban dl nudi dudng tinh cam liira ddi Trong so nay, cd ca nhirng ngudi da ma't long tin vao hdn nhan sau vai ^ that bai Hinh thu'c cha (me) dan than cung la mdt hudng lira chpn ciia nhieu ngudi Khdng can ll cudi vdi su chumg kidn cua cdng ddng, khdng can gia'y dang ky ket hdn vdi sir bao trg cua luat phap, ngudi me (cha) dan than tu tin vao kha nang lao lap hanh phiic ciia chfnh minh Ddi tac cua hp den va cd ihl di ma khdng phai chiu mdl sure ep nao ngoai sire manh ctia tinh yeu va trach nhiem ngudi Bat chap tap tuc truyin thd'ng va su dinh kien tir cdng ddng dj tinh, nhumg ngudi ddng tfnh (do xu hudng tinh due lu nhien) cung mong mudn ke't ddi va hinh mdt gia dinh Cd le nen diing tir "ket ddi" thay tir "hdn nhdn ", trudng hgp ngudi ddng tfnh TTieo tir nguyen Han Viet tir diln (1993:129), "hdn " la bd vg va "tihdn " la bd chdng Do vay cum tir "hon nhdn " da mang ndi ham lien ket hai ngudi khac gidi tfnh Cling mdt mang xa hdi gitra hai gia dinh xua't than, cung cd nghia chi ngudi di tinh mdi sinh nhu cau chia se tinh cam lira ddi Tiep can ket qua nghien cim thdgidi va Viet Nam gan day vl nhdm ngudi ddng tfnh, song tfnh va chuyen gidi, chiing ta mdi tha'y cdn qua ft hieu biet va cd nhieu ldm lin vl ban cha't sinh hpc cOa ngudi, dac biet nhOmg va'n dl lien quan den nhu cin va khuynh hudng tinh due - dilm khdi ddu cho viec ket ddi va hinh lhanh mdt gia dinh Viec tdn tai gia dinh ddng linh du khdng nhilu cOng da gdp them mdt mang mau niia vao burc tranh kidn true gia dinh Viet Nam hien Nguyen Hong Mai 23 Cd thi tha'y, cac tieu chf truyin thdng vd'n dugc sd dung dl nhan dien gia dinh dang gidng nhu dap cd nguy ca bj pha vd d chd nay, d nai theo dd richte ciia com bao xa hdi va cudng dp y thiire vl ban sac ca nhan Tuy thd, chiing ta vin cdn xac lap nhihig dac dilm tdi thiiu di phan dinh gia dinh va cac nhdm xa hdi khac Khdng thi ihu hep ndi ham "gia dinh" theo each ndi true quan la "chung bdt dud^ hay md rdng qua mirc nhu hudng di ciia Hiep hdi Kinh id Gia dinh My, "\ld Id tun eon ngifdi ehia se tinh yeu thifang md khdng cdn quan tdm den nhi'fng vdn de lien quan den hdn tihdn, huye't thong, ludt phdfx' (Dang Canh Khanh va Le Thi Quy, 2007:68) Gia dinh cung khdng thi chi cd mdt ngudi, each ndi "gia dinh ddc than" nen thay bang "//() doe thdn" se hgp ly hem Gia dinh trudc het phiii la mdl nhdm ngudi - khdng ldn tai biet lap ma gan bd vdi bang md'i quan he: mdt dan vi ban ddi (cd quan he tinh due di tfnh hay ddng tfnh) va/hoac la mdt dan vi cha me (cd the dan than) vdi cai - ciing huydt thdng hay nudi dudng Dieu kien thiir hai khdng thi thieu cua mgt gia dinh la cac vien ciia nd phai lu nguyen cam ke'l sdng ben vdi quyin lgi va nghia vu theo thda udc tinh cam, theo quy djnh cua phap luat, hoac ca hai Ta't nhien, chat lugng ciia ddi sdng gia dinh, ngoai sire manh ndi tai, cdn chiu tac ddng khdng nhd ciia nhumg bidn ddng kinh tdxa hdi, kl ca he thd'ng cac giai phap quan ly ciia nha nudc Moi kieu loai gia dinh - Mot loi di kiem tim hanh phuc • Dilm qua cac cdng trinh nghien ciiru gia dinh ma'y thap ky gan day, chiing la nhan tha'y nhan loai dang di chung tren mdt dudng tim kidm nhumg giai phap hOm ich cho cai cdng ddng ma cung gui gam mdl phdn hay ca cudc ddi minh vao dd Dudng nhu qudc gia nao tren the gidi ciing trai qua nhiimg bidn ddng gia dinh gidng chi khac vl thdi dilm va mure dd cang thang Nhumg gl dang xay d nudc ta hien cung da timg xua't hien d cac nudc Bac Au trudc gan mdt the ky va d Bac My each vai chuc nam VI vay, mdt mat chung la cd ihl hpc hdi tham khao nhumg giai phap hgp ly d cac qudc gia nay, mat khac khdng thi khdng luu y tdi nhOmg ydu id thudc vl ban sdc van hda dan lpc - bao gdm ca mat tfch cue va han chd ciia nd ddi vdi nhu cdu cua thdi dai Giai phiip thudng dugc nghi ddn ddu lien la phuc hdi lai md hinh gia dinh u-uyin thd'ng \di niim tin dd la kilu loai gia dinh ly ludng dam bao su dn dinh, bin viimg va hd trg tinh Ccim lot nha't cho ngudi Tir dd, mpi kidu loai gia dinh khac vdi md ihuc a'y se bj cdng kfch, len an va quy ket 24 Nghien cijru Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 23, sd tr 18-28 tdi hpc ddi, bat chudc phuang Tay Trong thuc te, md hinh gia dinh truyin thdng hay cdn dugc gpi la kilu gia dinh doan thi (Corporate family) khdng mang tfnh tdi uu cudc sdng hien nhumg dilu kien kinh id - xa hdi mdi da tao tiln dl khach quan va chii quan lam bidn ddi toan dien gia dinh lir quy md, ca'u tnic, chirc nang cho tdi van hda ldi sd'ng Mat khac, khdng nen ly ludng hda sir binh lang yen dn kieu gia dinh truyin thdng, nd chua phai la da'u hieu ca ban ciia hanh phiic Ngay U-ude, vdi su chi phdi Clia yeu td cdng ddng, ngudi ta ihudng chpn lua ldi umg xir dan gian dl tdn tai Toan bd sii'c luc, tam trf ddn vao nhu cdu kidm sd'ng, ngudi ra't it thdi gian dl phan lich hay lo au vl hanh phtic va cd khuynh hudng dl cao, thi vi hda su nhdn nai, su hy sinh, hda tan ca nhan lgi ich chung ciia gia dinh Tam thire "ta vi at" chidm linh loan bd cudc sd'ng vdi y thiire vl "bd)i phdn", bdp nghet kl ca mdt thoang ban khoan "ta Id ai" Nhung cudc sdng hien dai lai chay theo mdt hudng khac, ddi lap vdi qua khiir, khat vpng ca nhan trd mdt sii^c manh khdng gl kim ham dugc Trong linh vuc hdn nhan - gia dinh, xu the a'y the hien rat rd Hdn nhan - gia dinh chi thuc su cd gia tri neu nd khdng pha hiiy, kilm che su phat triln ca nhan va muu cdu hanh phiic - dd la mdt quan niem mdi, mdt "su ndi loan" nhan thiire vl gia dinh Nhin chung, ngudi ta thfch tinh yeu tu han hdn nhan theo khudn mdu hoac sdp dat, thfch ft han kieu "con dan chau ddng", thfch tao dung mdt mai nha ddc lap hom d ciing cha me Vugt qua nhiimg bai hpc xa hdi sa gian hda ciia gia dinh xua't than, ngudi hdm dugc tiep can ra't sdm vdi mdi trudng xa hdi rpng ldn, d dd nhimg ydu td tu - dan chii - binh ddng - cdng bang dang dugc khang djnh manh me Ngudi ta nhan rang xa hdi cdng dan, nhimg quyin ma hp cd dugc chu ydu nang luc, phdm chat ca nhan chiir khdng phai tir be phdng gia dinh VI the, mdi ngudi cd quyin lira chpn cudc sd'ng ciia chfnh minh cung nhu cd nhilu ca hdi hom de bdc Id cac tiim nang sang lao Vao tudi trudng thanh, xua't hien nhiimg rung ddng gidi tfnh, hp se ddi dien \'di hang loat cau hdi: minh la ai, minh se yeu ai, liie nao, d dau va lam gl dl de'n dugc be'n bd hanh phuc Trudc day mdt kich ban chung dugc cac cd gai ndng thdn nhimg nam 80 hinh dung dd la: "Co seyeu mdt nam nien eimg que, sechicd quan he tinh due vcfi sau le eifdi cua hai ngifdi, hp seehicpian he vdi vdo buoi toi ttong cdn budng rieng d ddu hdi Hp se Idm viec dd im ldng vd mong muon sdm ddn de'n ket qud Id ngifdi vc/mang thai" Nhung hai muoi nam sau, cac cd gai ciing dd tudi a'y lai cd the thuc hien theo nhimg kich ban khac, cd thi "ngifid ddn Nguyen Hong Mai 25 dng md eo ed quan he tinh due Idn dtm tien khdng nhdt thiei Id chdng minh Chuyen tinh eua hp xdy d khdch sgn hay mot nai Idng mgn ndo dd md khdng phdi tgi nhd eua ngifdi ndo vd viee mang thai Id dieu khdng the xdy ra" (Khudt Thu Hdng, 2009:42) Nhu vay, nhilu vdn dl cQa hdn nhan - gia dinh se thay ddi bat ddu tir su da dang cac kich ban tinh due ma mdi ngudi lua chgn Cd mdt mdu thudn dat Mdt mat, da sd ngudi mong lap gia dinh vi gia dinh bilu trung cho su quen thudc, su tan tam va cung la dilm tua an toan van hda nhtmg xdo ddng xa hdi Nhung mat khac, xu hudng ca nhan hda - y thiire vl quyin ca nhan lai va dap vdi ta't ca nhiimg gl cd thi ngan trd nd, kl ca thidt chd gia dinh Do yeu cdu ldn tai, dii it du nhilu, gia dinh vdn ddi hdi cac thdnh vien cua nd nhiimg nghia \'u va bdn phan nha't djnh, nghia la phai tir bd mdt sd lu nao dd VI the, ngudi hien dai dang siic tim kidm giai phap phii hgp, mdt hinh thurc gia dinh ly tudng cd thi dung hda mau thudn dd, \ ira dat hanh phiie ma minh trdng dgi ma vdn cd dugc cam giac tu Cd nhilu ldi di tim kidm va su tim kidm a'y khdng phai liic nao cung lhanh cdng Bai hpc tir cac nudc Bdc Au (nai cd nhan thii'c cdi md sdm nha'l vdi cac kilu loai gia dinh mdi) cho tha'y khdng cd can cii nao bao dam rdng \'iec sdng chung khdng hdn thii vdi nhumg ky vpng vl tu se tao dugc rang budc tinh cam idt hom hay ft di hoac cham chia tay han so vdi kel hdn dugc cdng nhan phap ly (Huynh Khai Vinh va Nguyin Thanh Tudn, 1997:176) Nhilu cha (me) chii ddng lira chpn phuang an sdng dan than cung khdng thuc su dat dugc muc tieu hanh phuc ma minh chd dgi Ngudi ta ket hdn rdi ly hdn va lai kdt hdn dil thd ndo hg vdn khdng ngimg tim kiem Nhu vay, lir quan niem khdng ddng nha'l ve hanh phiic ca nhan se ddn de'n su khac biet lua chpn kilu gia dinh Trong cac gia dinh nay, quan he ddi lira da chuyen tir cam ket gdn bd trpn ddi sang thda udc ddi ben, hudng den dam bao hanh phiic ciia ca hai ngudi Gia dinh se tan vd ndu nd that bai cac hoat ddng hudng tdi muc lieu chang dl dang Khdng mdt chinh sach hay cudc van ddng xa hdi ndo cd ihl gd ep ngudi budc phai di theo ddng chiiy cd linh tap luc hay loai bd mdl kilu gia dinh nao dd ma chi cd thi gdp phdn ciing cd them hoac lam suy yeu chiing Cd the phan lich sau them vl mdt loai gia dinh dang thu hut sU quan tam ciia da luan xa hdi, dd la gia dinh ciia nhihig ngudi ddng tfnh Bd Tu phap dang trung cdu y kien ve mdt sd \ an dl chuan bi cho vice sua ddi Luai Hdn nhan \a Gia dinh nam 2000, dd cd viec cdng nhan 26 Nghien ciiru Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 23, sd 2, tr 18-28 ke't ddi ddng tfnh Thuc ra, kdt ddi ddng tinh xudt hien kha sdm U-ong lich sir nhan loai tir phuang Ddng den phuang Tay va khdng phai nao ciing bj len an "Ngifdi eo Hy Lgp tdn trpng ddng dnh luyen di Ngifdi ta eho rdng nd chdng nhffng lien quan den tinh thdn thifOng vd md edn ed Hen he vdi ly tri, thdm my, thdm ehi ed vdi phdm chd't dgo difc Mdt so' nhd trie't hpc Idn tilufXdcrat, PIatdng, Arixtdt deu Id nlufng ngifdi ddng tinh Ddtig tinh luyen di difae lieh sif gpi Id tinh yeu Hy Lgp" (Dam Dai CJiinh, 2009:416) Nhimg nhin chung nhilu qudc gia phu djnh kilu kdt ddi nay, trudc hel xuat phat tir y niem tdn giao "Kinh thdnh ehdng lgi mpi hdidi vi tinh due khdng hifdng tdi sif sinh de vi dd Id khinh thifdng Thifang De" (Dam Dai Chfnh, 2009:418) nudc ta, nhihig phan umg chii ydu xudt phat tir gdc dp sinh hpc (benh tat) va dao dure (phong tuc tap quan) Trong xa hdi vdn cdn y kien coi tinh due dong gidi la mdt loai benh va cd thi hinh nhu trao luu Thuc ra, each day vai chuc nam, Td chiirc Y te thd gidi da chfnh thii'c loai hien tugng khdi danh sach cac loai benh (khdng cd ba't ky phuang thirc dilu tri nao) va khdng dinh day chi la mdt cac khuynh hudng tfnh due tu nhien ciia ngudi Ne'u gap trudng hgp bat chudc dua doi thi theo ban nang, dii sdm hay mupn, hp cung vdn phai quay trd vl ban dang thuc su ciia minh Do sure ep cua gia dinh va du luan, co nhumg ngudi ddng tfnh "nhdm mdt" ket hdn vdi ngudi dj ifnh di hoan nghia vu sinh con, nhung sau dd vdn pha vd hdn nhdn vdi mong mud'n dugc la chfnh minh Chfnh vl hanh dpng trai tu nhien ma ndi bdt hanh khdng chi den vdi ngudi ddng tfnh ma cdn keo theo ddi tac ciia hq Tir gdc dp dao diic (ndi dung hem la tap quan truyin thdng), quan he ddng tfnh bi len an soi chieu tir chuan muc ciia nhdm ngudi di tfnh chiem da sd, chii yeu bdi ly loai ket ddi khdng thirc hien dugc muc tieu ca ban ciia hdn nhan truyin thdng la luu truyin ddng gidng va do, se mang tdi ba't hie'u ddi vdi bac sinh (ba't hidu hiru tam, vd hau vi dai) Trong xa hpi d trinh dp thap, cai dugc danh gia rat cao vl chiing vira la ngudn bd sung nhan lire lao ddng cho gia dinh, ngudn bao dam an sinh cho cha me liic tudi gia, vira la "eua de ddnh" la ngudn tai san co gia tri nhdt dugc de lai thd gian vdi niem hy vpng chiing se tao su bdt tu cho cha me Han the, ddng nhieu chau dugc ddng nhdt vdi Phiie mpt gia trj tam linh Day cung la thudc nam tfnh ciia dan dng, thudc dja vj gia dinh ciia ngudi dan ba Ngay nay, nhan thirc vl gia trj ciia cai - gia dinh di tfnh - cung da khac trudc Nhurng du'a dugc nudi dudng khdng phai di lam viec tren manh rudng cua gia dinh ma Nguyen Hong Mai 27 dl cd'ng hidn ngodi xa hdi Mac dii chfnh phii da ban hanh nhilu chinh sdch hd trg gia dinh nhung cham sdc, dac biet ddu tu cho tre vdn cdn la mdt ganh nang kinh td kha Idn Cac bac cha me cQng khdng nen trdng chd nhilu vao su cdp dudng cua cai ma sdm cd y thiire gianh dum, tfch luy cho tuang lai, bao gdm ca ddng bao hilm Mat khac, vdi each nhin thuc td hon, da hinh quan niem khdng nhdt thidt phai cd ngudi huang khdi cho cai kidp sau ma chdc chdn minh khdng thay va khdng bidt, cai cdn han vdi hp chfnh la hanh phiie thdi hien tai Gia trj ciia cai gid day chii ydu vl mat tinh cam Nhu vay, viec giam siit ty le sinh san hay lua chpn khdng sinh lai bat ddu tir nhimg cudc hdn nhdn dj tfnh, xudt phat tir thay ddi nhan thirc vl gia trj cua cai, kl ca cai gia phai tra ca vl kinh id vd tinh cam cho chiing, kl ca mong mudn ndm lay ca hdi phat triln nghi nghidp ciia ngudi ldn (dac biet la phu niir) cQng nhu sir giup sire Clia y hpc hien dai Tdt nhien, viec kdt ddi ddng tfnh cd thi cQng gdp mdt phdn vao burc tranh suy giam dan sd mac du ngudi ddng tfnh chi chiem iCr 3'7r ddn 59c dan sd liiy d mdi qud'c gia mdi viing mien Bdi vay khdng I cd CO sd de lo ngai vl "sif diet vong nhdn khdu "neu thira nhan nhu cdu mong mud'n dugc hanh phiic ciia nhdm ngudi thieu sd Ldi ket Quyen duae nuai edu hanh phue - mdt nhiimg quyin quan trgng ciia ngudi da dugc khiing djnh Tuven ngdn Ddc lap nam 1945 Han nua thd ky qua, y ihiirc vl quyin hanh phiic dugc xac lap dan dan rd rang va cang manh me Tir ngudi cdng ddng vdi cai tdi bdn phan, lir ngudi tap the vdi cai tdi binh quan den ngudi ca nhdn khat khao khang djnh ca tfnh va hanh phuc thiet thuc, dd la mdt qua trinh "Idt xde" Cac kilu loai gia dinh hinh lhanh va tdn lai song song ben qua trinh dd nhu ket qua ciia cac ldi di kiem ilm hanh phiic, va ldi di nao cung cdn dugc tdn trpng "Cd mc}t dieu edn khdng dinh qud khd se khdng quay tidied Tifcmg lai sehinh thdnh nhieu kieu gia dinh vd cde gia dinh tifftng hd se khdng gidng nhif ede gia dinh trcmg qud khd Hcfn hdn bd't ky giai docin ndo tnfdc dd i ude scmg ctia mdi cd nhdn ehung ta se phdn dtdi ede quxcn ndng tri tue ehung ta " (Charles L Jones va cdng su, 2001:330) Cung tCr do, tdt \cu ddi hdi su ihay ddi nhan thirc ciia du luan xa hdi va Cti sir nhiiy cam khoa hpc vl mat phap 1\ de giam bdt tdn thuang cho Ciic cudc kdt ddi va ciing cd tfnh nhan van cua ddi sdng gia dlnh.B 28 Nghien curu Gia dinh va Gidi Quyen 23, sd 2, tr 18-28 Tai lieu tham khao Charies L Jones va cpng su 2001 Tifong lai cita gia dinh Nxb Dai hoc Qudc gia Ha N6i Dam Dai Chinh 2009 Vdn hda tinh due vd phdp lugt Nxb Thdgidi Ha Npi Dang Canh Khanh va Le Thj Quy 2007 Gia dinh Iwc Nxb Ly luan Chfnh tri Ha Npi Hdn Viet tif dien 1993 Nxb Thanh phd Ho Chf Minh Thanh phd H6 Chf Minh Huynh Khai Vinh va Nguyin Thanh Tudn 1997 Bdn ve khoan dung vdn hda Nxb Chfnh trj Qudc gia Ha Npi Khudt Thu Hong 2009 Tinh due - chuyen didiia khd ndi Nxb Tri thurc Ha N6i Le Ngpc Van 2011 Gia dinh vd bien doi gia dinh d \ iet Nam Nxb Khoa hoc xa hpi Ha Npi Nguyin Hdng Mai 2012 "Md rpng khdng gian dia ly lua chpn hdn nhan - xung dot va h6i nhap van hoa" Tgp chi Nghien cifu \ an hda Trudng Dai hpc Van hda Ha Npi Tuong Lai (Chii bien) 1996 "Thay ldi ket luan: Nhimg van de dang dat irong xa hpi hoc gia dinh d nudc la" Trong NhCfng nghien cifu xd hdi hpc ve gia dinh Viet Nam, quyin II Nxb Khoa hpc xa hpi Ha Npi  ... 2007:55) Khoang each cang xa giira quan niem truyin thdng vl gia dinh va cac dang thurc gia dinh dang ldn lai da lam xu^ t hien nhilu bat dn he thd''ng quan ly Mdt bp phan bi loai khdi each hiiu thdng... chiing Cd the phan lich sau them vl mdt loai gia dinh dang thu hut sU quan tam ciia da luan xa hdi, dd la gia dinh ciia nhihig ngudi ddng tfnh Bd Tu phap dang trung cdu y kien ve mdt sd \ an dl... vdi Phiie mpt gia trj tam linh Day cung la thudc nam tfnh ciia dan dng, thudc dja vj gia dinh ciia ngudi dan ba Ngay nay, nhan thirc vl gia trj ciia cai - gia dinh di tfnh - cung da khac trudc