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Tóm tắt As the need for intercultural language learning is increasing, the study is carried out aiming to find out the verbal exchanges used in Vietnamese and American family meals. It also compares and contrasts verbal table manners in the two cultures in order to clarify similarities and differences in the way the Vietnamese and the American verbally behave in family meals. The results are expected to hopefully contribute to raising cultural awareness, thus avoiding communication breakdown in communication and interaction with people from another culture, either Vietnamese or American one. Recommendations and suggestions from the study are hopefully expected to bring new ideas for further researching. The paper is aimed to investigate the Vietnamese and American table manners in family meals. It should be clear that the study is limited within the verbal communication. Its central focus is on which conversation topics are metioned and which manners are applied before and after the meal. The data analysed is taken from two questionnaires for 30 Vietnamese and 30 American informants aged 18 to 25. Despite the geographical and cultural differences, the Vietnamese and American share some major similarities in family meal conversations as well as verbal table manners. However, there are still some remarkable differences. The detailed discussion is presented more clearly in the main text of the study.

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES & INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHER EDUCATION ******************** A VIETNAMESE – AMERICAN INTERCULTURAL STUDY ON VERBAL TABLE MANNERS IN FAMILY MEALS Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Degree of Bachelor of Arts (TEFL) Supervisor: DO THI MAI THANH, MA Student: PHAM THANH BINH Class: QH2008.F1.E5 Hanoi, 2012 ĐẠI HỌC QUỐC GIA HÀ NỘI TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC NGOẠI NGỮ HOA TI NG ANH SƯ PHẠ ******************** HOÁ LUẬN TỐT NGHIỆP NGHI N C U V N H A V SỰ NG LỜI TRONG ỮA N GIA Đ NH C A NGƯỜI VIỆT VÀ NGƯỜI Gi o vi n h ng d n Đ Th Sinh vi n Ph m Th nh h QH HÀ NỘI, N nh i Th nh ACCEPTANCE PAGE I hereby state that I: Pham Thanh Binh (class Qh2008.F1.E5), being a candidate for the degree of Bachelor of Arts (TEFL) accept the requirements of the College relating to the retention and use of Bachelor’s Graduation Paper deposited in the library In terms of these conditions, I agree that the origin of my paper deposited in the library should be accessible for the purposes of study and research, in accordance with the normal conditions established by the librarian for the care, loan or reproduction of the paper Signature ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to express my deepest gratitude to my supervisor, Mrs Do Thi Mai Thanh (University of Languages and International Studies, Vietnam National University - Hanoi) for her invaluable guidance and instructive comments without which my thesis would not have been completed I am greatly indebted to my teachers (University of Languages and International Studies, VNU – Hanoi, Faculty of English language teacher education) for their lectures on the area of valuable knowledge with helpful suggestions and constructive ideas, which have been useful for the accomplishment of the paper My acknowlegement goes to the informants, Vietnamese and American native speakers, who spent their precious time completing the questionnaires Last but not least, I owe my deep special thanks to my family and my friends, who gave me constant support and enormous encouragements throughout the research Hanoi, May 2012 Pham Thanh Binh ABSTRACT i As the need for intercultural language learning is increasing, the study is carried out aiming to find out the verbal exchanges used in Vietnamese and American family meals It also compares and contrasts verbal table manners in the two cultures in order to clarify similarities and differences in the way the Vietnamese and the American verbally behave in family meals The results are expected to hopefully contribute to raising cultural awareness, thus avoiding communication breakdown in communication and interaction with people from another culture, either Vietnamese or American one Recommendations and suggestions from the study are hopefully expected to bring new ideas for further researching The paper is aimed to investigate the Vietnamese and American table manners in family meals It should be clear that the study is limited within the verbal communication Its central focus is on which conversation topics are metioned and which manners are applied before and after the meal The data analysed is taken from two questionnaires for 30 Vietnamese and 30 American informants aged 18 to 25 Despite the geographical and cultural differences, the Vietnamese and American share some major similarities in family meal conversations as well as verbal table manners However, there are still some remarkable differences The detailed discussion is presented more clearly in the main text of the study LIST OF TABLES, FIGURES AND CHARTS ii Page Figure 1.1.4 Points of articulation between culture and language 10 Table 1: The frequency of conversation topics in Vietnamese family meals 23 Table 2: The frequency of conversation topics in American family meals 24 Chart 1: Conversation topics that are NEVER mentioned 25 Chart 2: Conversation topics that are RARELY mentioned 26 Chart 3: Conversation topics that are SOMETIMES mentioned 27 Chart 4: Conversation topics that are USUALLY mentioned 27 Chart 5: Conversation topics that are ALWAYS mentioned 28 Chart 6: Avoided conversation topics 29 10 Chart 7: Vietnamese and American verbal manners before the meal 32 11 Chart 8: Vietnamese and American verbal manners after the meal 34 TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE Acknowledgements i Abstract ii iii List of figures, tables, and charts iii PART A: INTRODUCTION Rationale Aims and objectives of the study Research questions Significance of the study Scope of the study Organisation of the study PART B: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Language, Culture, Communication and the relationship among three elements 1.1.1 Language 1.1.2 Culture 1.1.3 Communication 1.1.4 The relationship among three elements 1.2 Family meals and Verbal table manners 1.2.1 Family meals 11 1.2.2 Verbal table manners 12 1.3 Conversation topics and Verbal manners 1.3.1 Conversation topics 12 1.3.2 Verbal manners 15 1.3.2.1 Manners before the meal 15 1.3.2.2 Manners after the meal 17 CHAPTER 2: METHODOLOGY 2.1 Selection of subjects 18 iv 2.2 Data collection instruments 19 2.3 Procedures of data collection 21 2.4 Procedures of data analysis 22 CHAPTER 3: RESULTS AND DISCUSSION 3.1 Conversation topics 3.1.1 Data analysis 23 3.1.2 Discussion 29 3.2 Manners of verbal communication before and after the meal 3.2.1 Verbal table manners before the meal 31 3.2.1.1 Data analysis 32 3.2.1.2 Discussion 33 3.2.2 Verbal table manners after the meal 34 3.2.2.1 Data analysis 34 3.2.2.2 Discussion 35 PART C: CONCLUSION Summary of findings 36 Implications for inter-cultural communication 37 Suggestions for further research 39 BIBLIOGRAPHY APPENDICES v PART A: INTRODUCTION RATIONALE As the demand of language learning keep increasing, certain knowledge about different cultures are needed Intercultural language learning is increasingly being promoted as a way to develop learners’ ability to negotiate meanings across languages and cultures and prepare them for living in a multicultural world Cultural features of every country reflect in many aspects such as habits, traditions or customs etc It goes without saying that visiting a family meal can help experiencing the culture much better It is easier to comprehend certain values of one culture from the way people behave in their own home All human societies take advantage of the fact that meals are physically necessary, normally frequent, and often eaten with others They turn meal times into opportunities to express and to practice "culture" Because talking is the primary mode of human communication, meal times commonly provide occasions for conversation Every culture has its own ideas about the management of verbal interaction at meals It is necessary to ask and then to thank before one helps himself or herself to more food; certain topics are selected to talk during a meal Such simple exchanges, made mandatory by table manners, create a ready-made, basic fabric of verbal interaction with others On the other hand, a variety of challenges may arise when using verbal communication to express oneself Misunderstandings can arise because of poor word choice, different perspectives, faulty communication techniques, and subjective opinions or unsuitable language use, which may result in communication breakdowns “A Vietnamese – American intercultural study on verbal table manners in family meals” is chosen as the research topic As suggested in the title, the study is vi carried out aiming to find out the verbal exchanges used in Vietnamese and American family meals It also compares and contrasts verbal table manners in the two cultures in order to clarify similarities and differences in the way the Vietnamese and the American verbally behave in family meals The results are expected to hopefully contribute to raising cultural awareness, thus avoiding communication breakdown, as well as developing cultural knowledge, skills and attitudes required for effective communication and interaction with people from another culture, either Vietnamese or American one Moreover, this research is conducted with the purposes of offering recommendations to both language students and researchers working on this intercultural communication field AIMS AND OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY The aims of the study are:  To identify the verbal exchanges used in Vietnamese and American family meals  To compare and contrast verbal table manners in the two cultures in order to clarify similarities and differences in the way the Vietnamese and the American verbally behave in family meals  To contribute to raising cultural awareness, thus avoiding communication breakdown, as well as developing cultural knowledge, skills and attitudes required for effective communication and interaction with people from another culture, either Vietnamese or American one RESEARCH QUESTIONS vii American informants apply these manners in this order:  Showing appreciation to the cook: 67%  Stating the enjoyment: 56%  Offering to help clean up: 45%  Asking to leave the table: 33% 3.2.2.2 DISCUSSION * Similarities - It can be interpreted that Vietnamese and American subjects apply the same table manners after the family meal These manners are asking to leave the table, stating the enjoyment, showing appreciation to the cook and offering to help clean up * Differences - From the data in chart 8, it can be easily seen that most table manners after the meal are applied with much higher frequency by American informants than Vietnamese ones - As mentioned in 2.1.2., no Vietnamese informant is reported to show appreciation before the meal It is less common for Vietnamese than American people to express thankfulness to the cook There is a remarkable gap between the proportions of Vietnamese and Americans applying this manner after dining (6% vs 67%) - American subjects tend to state the enjoyment and offer to help clean up after the meal more than Vietnamese ones - On the other hand, asking to leave the table when finishing the meal is considered a polite manner, thus it is used by the majority of Vietnamese informants (77%), whereas only 33% of American informants apply this manner xl PART C: CONCLUSION The previous chapters have presented the introduction, the literature review, the methodology as well as the findings of the research Finally, this chapter will summarize and evaluate the outcomes of the whole paper by summing up the findings, providing the intercultural communication implications, followed by suggestions for further studies SUMMARY OF FINDINGS In this research, verbal exchanges in family meals have been taken into account in order to find out the similarities and differences between Vietnamese and Americans, which clarify the cultural values of the two countries Despite the geographical and cultural differences, the Vietnamese and American share some major similarities in family meal conversations as well as verbal table manners First of all, in terms of conversation topics, food is the most favorite topic for both Vietnamese and American subjects, followed by the topic of news and school/work In terms of verbal table manners, the manners of inviting others to eat/serve, making announcements, making a toast and small talk about the food before dining are popular for both American and Vietnamese informants In both cultures, inviting others to eat/serve and asking to leave the table when finishing the meal are considered polite, decent and proper manners Therefore, these manners are used by the majority of Vietnamese and Americans However, there are still some remarkable differences It is noticeable that the number of American people making announcements and making a toast is higher than that of Vietnamese However, the percentages of Vietnamese having small talks about the food and inviting others are clearly higher than those of American people Most xli table manners after the meal, namely stating the enjoyment, offering to help clean up and showing appreciation to the cook, are applied with much higher frequency by American informants than Vietnamese ones The data analysis also reveals that American informants are more in favour of showing thankfulness to the cook both before and after the meal IMPLICATIONS FOR INTER-CULTURAL COMMUNICATION The analysis of the data has revealed the followings as suggestions on how to behave properly in a family meal, in order to avoid communication breakdown:  It is remarkable that while sports is the most favorable topic for American people, it is the least preferable topic for Vietnamese because of different lifestyles It is always easy to talk to an American about sports while a Vietnamese may not be interested  Although the majority of Vietnamese and American people follow religions such as Buddhism and Christianity, religion is not a preferable topic to mention in family meal conversations  For both the Vietnamese and American, hygiene related things/stories should always be avoided during the meal conversations It is considered very inappropriate to mention such things when people are eating Besides, sensitive matters such as love or sex are also not encouraged to talk about during family meals Illness, conflicts or criticism should also be avoided as family meals are supposed to be good, enjoyable moments for each member xlii 2.1 SUGGESTIONS FOR GUESTS IN VIETNAMESE FAMILY MEALS  In a Vietnamese family meal, it is always common to talk about food, especially the one at the meal as this is a good and positive topic to involve everyone in the conversation Vietnamese people also prefer to talk about the weather  In Vietnamese culture, it is rude to begin eating before inviting others to eat (particularly elders, guests, etc.) Therefore, it is essential to invite other people before the meal Children should always invite adults to begin eating first When children invite adults to begin eating, it should begin with people with a higher prestige in the family It goes in order of oldest to youngest, with the male being higher than the female For example, the grandfather will be asked, then grandmother, then father, then mother, and then older brothers, followed by older sisters Younger siblings can be invited, but it is not needed  When finishing a Vietnamese meal, asking to leave the table is considered a courteous manner, thus it is essential to so if one finishes eating before others 2.2 SUGGESTIONS FOR GUESTS IN AMERICAN FAMILY MEALS  Americans prefer to talk about food, sports and news in the family meals These are popular topics for most people to be engaged in interesting conversations with  Even though there is only 28% of Americans saying table grace before dining, certain manners should be apprehended if one is attending the meal If the person is not religious and the rest of the table is saying grace, it is considered xliii polite and culturally appropriate to observe silently, or to bow one's head It is often considered impolite or incorrect to start eating before grace has been said and completed  In American culture, it is considered a polite and good manner to say thanks to the cook or show gratefulness for the meal, especially after dining If one is being a guest in an American family meal, the person can offer to help clean up after the meal as it is another way to show appreciation and politeness In conclusion, the research is expected to hopefully contribute to helping readers to gain a useful insight into an aspect of intercultural communication, specifically in the case of Vietnamese and American family meals The similarities and differences are found to help avoid communication breakdown, as well as develop cultural knowledge, skills and attitudes required for effective communication and interaction with people from another culture, either Vietnamese or American one SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER RESEARCH For the purpose of promoting mutual understanding in inter-cultural communication, the study presented here is only a partial investigation into the use of verbal table manners in Vietnamese and American family meals The research has been an attempt at analyzing some typical manners of verbal communication in Vietnamese and American meals Also, it has investigated the differences and similarities in verbal table manners of both Vietnamese and American informants However, the study still remains some limitations xliv Obviously, the results from the questionnaire data are not adequate enough because the situations cannot cover all aspects since the study only focuses on verbal communication Moreover, all of the participants’ responses are put into written form when they answered the questionnaire and thus might be slightly different or biased from what is actually said in real life Also, due to limited time and resources, the study is only carried out with a sample of 30 participants from each country If more participants were involved, the findings could be more applicable In addition, the study is not able to identify the influences of people’s background, social or cultural factors affecting their way of verbal manners This leaves a room for further research to involve more factors such as paralinguistic and extralinguistic for more effective investigations Additionally, future research can be conducted with a wider range of informants in different groups of age, as well as analyzing the influences of personal background factors on informants’ choice of manners, and with a much larger number of participants Here are some of the suggestions for further research: Conversation topics in Vietnamese and American family  Non-verbal table manners in Vietnamese and American meals  Social and cultural factors affecting the choice of table manners of Vietnamese and American people  Responses to verbal manners in Vietnamese and American family meals This research though has been done with great efforts, cannot be completely well-rounded and cover all aspects of verbal table manners in family meals The author would be grateful for any constructive and valuable comments from the readers xlv BIBLIOGRAPHY Brown, H D (1994) Principles of Language Learning and Teaching (3rd edn) Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall Regents Canale, M (1983) From Communicative competence to communicative language pedagogy In J.C.Richards & R.W.Schmidt (eds.) Language and Communication London: Longman Collins, R (1987) The micro-macro link Berkeley: University of California Press Crystal, D (1992) An Encyclopedic Dictionary of Language and Languages England: Blackwell Finegan, E (1994) Language – Its Structure and Use Harcourt Brace USA Hauser, Marc D.; Noam Chomsky & W Tecumseh Fitch (2002) "The Faculty of Language: What Is It, Who Has It, and How Did It Evolve?" Science 22 (5598): 1569– 1579 Hybels, S & Weaver II, R.L (1992) Communicating effectively Von Hoffmann Press Inc Hornby, A.S., Gatenby, E.V & Wakefield, H (1963) The advanced learners’ dictionary of current English London: Oxford University Press Krauss, R M (2002) The Psychology of Verbal Communication Department of Psychology, Columbia University, New York Columbia University Press xlvi 10 Levine, D.R & Adelman, M.B (1982) Beyond Language – Intercultural Communication for English as a Second Language Prentice-Hall, Inc., Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey 11 Levinson, S.C (1983) Pragmatics New York: Cambridge University Press 12 Liddicoat, A.J., Papademetre, L., Scarino, A., & Kohler, M (2003) Report on intercultural language learning Canberra ACT: Commonwealth of Australia 13 Lustig, M and Koester, J (1998) Intercultural Competence: Interpersonal Communication Across Cultures (3rd Ed.) (Addison-Wesley Publishing, 1998), 30 14 Mitchell, R., & Myles, F (2004) Second language learning theories (2nd ed.) London: Arnold 15 Seelye, H.N (1997) Cultural goals for achieving intercultural communicative competence In A.Fantini (Ed.) New ways in teaching culture Alexandria, VA: Teachers of English to speakers of other languages, Inc 22-27 16 Si Thang Kiet, Ho (2009) Addressing Culture in EFL Classrooms Journal of Foreign Language Teaching 6, (1), 63–76 National University of Singapore: Centre for Language Studies xlvii APPENDIX SURVEY QUESTIONNAIRE (For American participants) This questionnaire is designed for my B.A graduation research paper at University of Foreign Languages and International Studies – Vietnam National University, Hanoi entitled “A Vietn mese – American intercultural study on verbal table manners in f mily me ls” Your assistance in completing the following items is highly appreciated Please give your answers as much naturally as possible as this will help ensure the success of this survey Information identifying the respondents will not be disclosed in any discussion of the data Thank you very much for your great help! ========================================================== Please provide the following information by filling in the blank space or circle your choice Name: Age: Gender: Country of birth: Residential area: Urban Your education: Secondary Rural Tertiary (Undergraduate/Graduate/ Post graduate) xlviii A Using the scale below, please indicate HOW OFTEN these conversation topics are talked about in your family meals Put an X in the box of your choice Remember to mark one box for each topic NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES News School/ Work Hobbies Health Weather Food Movies/ TV shows Sports Politics Religion Money/Finance Future plans Morality (advice on the dos nd don’ts) Friends/ Relatives Complaints (about someone you dislike etc.) xlix USUALLY ALWAYS Is there any other topic that you talk about during family meals? If yes, please specify: Is there any other topic that you AVOID to talk about during family meals? If yes, please specify: B Please answer the following questions by writing down your utterances What you usually say before the meal/when you enter the table? Do you invite others to eat before eating? If yes, what you say, and to whom? What you say after the meal/when you leave the table? Thank you very much for your co-operation! l APPENDIX SURVEY QUESTIONNAIRE (For Vietnamese participants) PHI U HẢO SÁT Phiếu khảo sát soạn nh m m c đ ch ph c v cho luận văn tốt nghiệp cử nhân trường Đại học Ngoại Ngữ, Đại học Quốc Gia Hà Nội với đề tài “Xử lời bữa ăn gia đình người Việt người Mỹ” Tôi r t cảm n đánh giá cao s gi p đ bạn việc trả lời câu h i khảo sát ạn c th y n tâm r ng danh t nh bạn s không b tiết lộ b t c trường hợp Chân thành cảm n s gi p đ nhiệt tình bạn! =========================================================== Làm ơn cung cấp thông tin s u c ch điền vào phần để trống kho nh tròn lự chọn củ b n Họ t n: Tuổi: Giới t nh: N i sinh: N i cư tr : Thành th Nông thôn li A Sử dụng cấp độ d i đây, x c đ nh mức độ th ờng xuy n củ chủ đề n i chuyện bữ ăn gi đ nh b n Đ nh dấu vào thích hợp in vui lòng đ nh dấu cho tất c c chủ đề đ ợc liệt k Không Hiếm Thỉnh Th ờng Luôn b o thoảng xuyên Tin t c thời s Trường lớp/ Công việc Sở th ch S c kh e Thời tiết Th c ăn Truyền hình/ Phim ảnh Th thao Ch nh tr Tôn giáo/ T n ngư ng Tiền bạc Kế hoạch tư ng lai Đạo đ c (những điều n n không nên) ạn bè/ Họ hàng Phàn nàn (VD th đ hay đ bạn khơng th ch ) lii Cịn chủ đề khác mà bạn n i đến bữa ăn gia đình khơng? Vui lịng liệt k đây: C chủ đề mà bạn thường tránh không nhắc tới bữa ăn gia đình khơng? Vui lịng liệt k đây: Vui lòng trả lời câu hỏi s u c ch điền vào phần để trống ạn n i trước bữa ăn/ vào bàn ăn? Trước ăn bạn c mời người khác không? Nếu c , bạn mời n i nào? ạn n i kết th c bữa ăn/ rời kh i bàn ăn? in chân thành cảm ơn gi p đ củ b n liii APPENDIX Vietnamese and American verbal manners before the meal Vietnamese (%) American (%) Table grace 28 Appreciation to the cook 17 Announcements 30 45 Making a toast 12 33 Small talk about the food 53 22 Inviting others to eat/serve 94 56 MANNERS Vietnamese and American verbal manners after the meal Vietnamese (%) American (%) Asking to leave the table 77 33 Stating the enjoyment 35 56 Appreciation to the cook 67 Offers to help clean up 24 45 MANNERS liv ...ĐẠI HỌC QUỐC GIA HÀ NỘI TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC NGOẠI NGỮ HOA TI NG ANH SƯ PHẠ ******************** HOÁ LUẬN TỐT NGHIỆP NGHI N C U V N H A V SỰ NG LỜI TRONG ỮA N GIA Đ NH C A NGƯỜI VIỆT VÀ NGƯỜI Gi o vi... one in English and the other in Vietnamese The survey is conducted with both Vietnamese and American informants The author has recived answers from 30 Vietnamese and 30 American informants After... American and Vietnamese informants - The most favorable table manner for both of the Vietnamese and Americans is inviting others to eat/serve before the meal, with the percentage of 94% Vietnamese and

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