Can you hear me how to connect with people in a virtual world

FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM Harvard Business Review Press Boston, Massachusetts FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM HBR Press Quantity Sales Discounts Harvard Business Review Press titles are available at significant quantity discounts when purchased in bulk for client gifts, sales promotions, and premiums Special editions, including books with corporate logos, customized covers, and letters from the company or CEO printed in the front matter, as well as excerpts of existing books, can also be created in large quantities for special needs For details and discount information for both print and ebook formats, contact booksales@harvardbusiness.org, tel 800-988-0886, or www.hbr.org/bulksales Copyright 2018 Nicholas H Morgan All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher Requests for permission should be directed to permissions@hbsp.harvard.edu, or mailed to Permissions, Harvard Business School Publishing, 60 Harvard Way, Boston, Massachusetts 02163 The web addresses referenced in this book were live and correct at the time of the book’s publication but may be subject to change Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Morgan, Nick, author Title: Can you hear me? : how to connect with people in a virtual world / Nick Morgan Description: Boston, Massachusetts : Harvard Business Review Press, [2018] | Includes bibliographical references and index Identifiers: LCCN 2018037883 | ISBN 9781633694446 (hardcover : alk paper) Subjects: LCSH: Communication and technology | Business communication | Teleconferencing | Communication—Psychological aspects Classification: LCC P96.T42 M665 2018 | DDC 302.23/1—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018037883 eISBN: 978-1-63369-445-3 FM.indd 17/08/18 3:11 PM To Nikki, the center of my world To Sarah, Eric, Howard, and Emma, bridging old worlds and new To Lakin, Logan, Eryn, Thaila, and Cyril, knowing only the new FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM CoNTENTS Prologue: Is This Thing On? ix Introduction We’re More Connected Than Ever, So Why Do I Feel So Alone? PART ONE THE FIVE BASIC PROBLEMS WITH VIRTUAL COMMUNICATIONS The Lack of Feedback 27 Where’s the emotional clarity? The Lack of Empathy 43 Where’s the consistency? The Lack of Control 65 For better or worse, your life online is public The Lack of Emotion 85 Can you make me care? The Lack of Connection and Commitment 105 Anyone here from Dubuque? FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM viii Contents PART TWO SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES FOR SPECIFIC DIGITAL CHANNELS FM.indd Email, Email Alternatives, and Texting 127 The Conference Call 149 The Webinar 167 The Chat Session 191 10 Sales 213 Conclusion 233 Notes 247 Index 255 Acknowledgments 267 About the Author 269 13/08/18 12:15 PM PROLOGUE IS THIS THINg ON? We are all unwitting participants in a massive social experiment that began slowly after World War II and gathered speed in the last decade with the introduction of the smartphone We have created virtual personas, online worlds, digital connections, social media lives, email relationships, audioconference teams— the whole panoply of ways that we now communicate with one another virtually That ability to communicate virtually seemed at first to be an unmitigated advance We could communicate faster, more easily, with less friction, at our own convenience, to multiples of our previous audiences, with the click of a mouse or a “send” button Only recently have we started to realize that this huge social experiment has a downside, too We’ve started to worry about shorter attention spans, and we wonder if the internet makes us stupid But the real downside has remained largely invisible to us because it touches on the workings of our unconscious minds FM.indd 13/08/18 12:15 PM 256 Index celebrities, 32 cell phones See mobile phones chat programs, 141–145 chat sessions, 191–211 clarity, in written communication, 132–134, 136–137 clichés, 206 client conference calls, 150, 152 closeness, 44 closure, 105–106 cold calls, 224, 226–228 collaboration and virtual communication, 199 in webinars, 173–174 commitment, 11, 105–106, 115, 116 communication asynchronous, 15, 17, 85–86 via body language, 21, 29, 45, 58, 59, 86–87, 173 conscious cues in, 101–102 consistency in, 45–46, 74–75, 110, 116, 139 email, 127–148 and emotions, 99–100, 215 evolution of, 12–13 eye contact in, 5, 14–15, 100 last minute, 129 nonverbal, 14, 35–36 styles, 114 on teams, 45 written, 15, 86, 131–140, 146–148 See also digital communication; face-to-face communication; virtual communication community building, 79, 245–246 identifying, 80–81 companies, and social issues, 118–119 competence, 53, 75 Index.indd 256 conference calls, 149–166 active listener role for, 152–153 agenda for, 152, 157 boredom of, 20 case study of successful, 160–164 cheat sheet for, 165–166 client, 150, 152 distractions during, 6, 85, 149 dominance issue in, 158–159, 160 emotional void of, 88–89 equal time during, 153–155 follow-up after, 152 formal remarks during, 152 group input during, 237 interactive, 156–157 as interviews, 157 last speaker, 160 length of, 154 MC for, 151 participation in, 45–46 problems with, 194 public, 150 rules and customs for, 155 silence during, 154–155 temperature check during, 102–103 timeliness of, 102 tips for engagement during, 156–158 types of, 150–151 using emotion-laden words in, 157–158 voice quality during, 151, 153, 159 ways to improve, 151–153 weekly staff call, 151, 153–155 conferences, 242–243 confidence, 160 connection(s) and availability, 140 craving for, 22, 86, 106 creation of, 31 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index 257 with customers, 215 and job security, 108–109 lack of, 10–11, 53–55, 105–124 personal, 111–112 in webinars, 173–176 See also emotional connection consciousness, 57–58 consistency, 45–46, 74–75, 110, 116, 139 content marketing, 79–80 control, lack of, 65–84 conversations face-to-face, 100–101 negative, 234 online, 73, 100–101 two-way, 35 Courville, Roger, 178–182 credibility, 52, 74, 216–217 criticism, 89–90 crowdsourcing, 184, 245 cultural differences, 113, 114, 201–202 cultural questionnaires, 122–124 customers and decision-making process, 217–218 exceeding expectations of, 225–226 improving memory of, 221–222 interaction with, 220 needs of, 215 relationships with, 118–120, 214–215, 218–219, 224 decision making based on emotions, 10, 94–95 by customers, 217–218 fear of loss to precipitate, 116–117 group, 94 unconscious, 10, 15–17, 56–58 depression, 14, 47, 50, 213 Index.indd 257 detachment, digital communication beginnings of, 15 cheat sheet for, 210–211 evolution of, 18 flatness of, 21–22 lack of nonverbal communication in, 35–36 missing emotions in, 3–4, 18 opportunity cost of, 5–6 problems with, See also virtual communication digital confusion, 34–35 digital persona See online persona digital tracks, cleaning up your, 77 distance, online, judging, 21–22 distractions during conference calls, 6, 85, 149 and memory, 138 online, 53–54, 56–57 dominance, during conference calls, 158–159, 160 doodling, double standards, 65–67, 78, 82 Dunbar’s number, 175 egocentrism, 133 email, 127–148 alternatives to, 141–145 as asynchronous communication, 85–86 beginning of, 14–15 cheat sheet for, 146–148 clarity in, 132–134, 136–137 downsides of, 5–6 emojis in, 130–131, 146 emotions in, 130–131 evolution of, 127–128 13/08/18 1:03 PM 258 Index email (continued) grace of expression in, 139–140 having main point in, 136–137 hierarchical thinking in, 137–138 hot, 130 including headlines in, 146 keeping up with, 196 lack of emotion in, 17, 193–194 lack of nuance in, 46 message hierarchy for, 130 misinterpretation of, 10, 17, 128, 133–134 point of view in, 134–136 practical fixes for, 146–148 rules of writing for, 131–141 things to avoid in, 140–141 tone in, 7, 28, 133–134 when to use, 128–131 emojis, 40, 130–131, 146 emotional clarity, lack of, 27–42 emotional connection importance of, 91–92 lack of, 3–4, 14, 95–96, 100 need for, 14, 47, 106 restricted, 94 ways to improve online, 100–103 in webinars, 173–176 workings of, 92–94 See also connection(s) emotional isolation, 49–50, 90–91, 243–244 emotional memories, 12–13, 16 emotional subtext, 34–36 emotional truth, 12–13 emotional void, 87–89, 95–96 emotions basic, 96 and communication, 99–100, 215 during conference calls, 155, 157–158 Index.indd 258 connection between physical experiences and, 49 and connections, 10–11 conveyed by human voice, 97–98 decision making based on, 10, 94–95 in email, 130–131 in face-to-face communication, 6, 12–13 in human voices, 19–20, 102 lack of, 10, 13–14, 18, 85–104 and memory, 92, 169 misinterpretation of others’, neural signature of, 55 projection of, 48–50 recognition of, by computers, 55, 56 similarities in, 55 verbal identification of, 237 in the virtual world, 235–238 empathy lack of, 9, 43–64, 96 life cycle online, 50–53 and mirror neurons, 93 need for, 47 practical fixes for, 63 projection of, 48–50 quiz, 60–63 in written communication, 139–140 employee engagement, 106 employees, relationships between, 106–108 engagement during conference calls, 156–158 employee, 106 Estis, Ryan, 224, 225–228 evolution, 8, 58 expertise, 38, 159, 160, 225–226 explicit feedback, 28–31, 39 eye contact, 5, 14–15, 100 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index 259 Facebook, 71–72, 245 face-to-face communication body language in, 14, 21, 29, 45, 58, 59, 86–87, 173 cues in, 86–87 and depression, 14, 47 emotions in, 6, 12–13 establishing relationships through, 54 eye contact in, 5, 14–15, 100 as preferred, 7–8 richness of, face-to-face conferences, 242–243 face-to-face feedback, 35 face-to-face meetings, 111, 176, 236, 237 face-to-face relationships, 111, 233 fear, 96 fear of loss, 116–117 feedback cheat sheet for, 41 explicit, 28–31, 39 face-to-face, 35 giver of, 38 guidelines for, 37–39 honest, 37 implicit, 28–30, 39 kindness in, 37 lack of, 27–42 negative, 32–34 practical fixes for, 39–41 specificity of, 38 and trust, 30 virtual, 30–34, 37–39 vulnerability and risk of, 39 feedback loops, 118–119 fight-or-flight response, 96 first impressions, 51, 54 focus, for webinars, 174–175 forums, 245–246 Index.indd 259 friendliness, 117 friendships, 213 See also relationships future predictions, 167–168, 234–235, 240–246 gesture, 58 See also body language Golden Rule, 66–67, 82 Google Hangouts, 143 googling yourself, 77–78 grace of expression, 139–140 happiness, 96 hierarchical thinking, 137–138 hippocampus, 95 holograms, 242 honesty, 37 humanity, 46–47 human nature, 75 humans alikeness of, 55 communication by early, 12–13 craving for connections by, 22, 31, 86 as social animals, 14, 47 human voice in conference calls, 151, 153 emotions in, 19–20, 102 quality of, 151, 153 on telephone, 98–99 undertones and overtones in, 18–20, 97–99 humor, 110, 120–122 images, 80 imagination, 92, 94 implicit feedback, 28–30, 39 13/08/18 1:03 PM 260 Index information asymmetrical, 168 deprivation, 127 overload, 127, 138 in-person communication See face-to-face communication insecurity, 33 intentions, 55, 117, 119 interest, internet use, 167, 245 interviews, 157 job, 204 intimacy, 31, 44 iPhones, 167 irony, 120–121 isolation, 49–50, 90–91, 243–244 issue marketing, 79–80 job interviews, 204 Jobs, Steve, 167 job security, 108–109 jokes, 120 joy, 96 jump-cut stories, 210 Kelly, Robert, 191–192 Klick Health, 142–145 language differences, 114 last-minute communication, 129 leaders team, 113–114, 239 and vocal undertones, 20–21, 98–99 loneliness, 4, 33, 213 long term, 118–120 lying, in email, Index.indd 260 McCain, John, 20 MC role for conference calls, 151 importance of, 237 for videoconferences, 196, 198 for virtual meetings, 63 meals, sharing, 113 meaning, processing of, 7–8, 17 Medina, John, 193–194 meetings face-to-face, 111, 176, 236, 237 length of, MC or chair for, 63 mix of virtual and face-to-face, 196 overuse of, 169–170 tardiness in, 102 See also virtual meetings memories creation of, 80 emotional, 12–13, 16 memory, 137 and emotions, 92, 169 improving, 221–222 mirroring as key to, 222–223 as zero-sum game, 137–138 message hierarchy, 130 milestones, 112–113 millennials, 239 mirroring, 31, 93, 222–223 mirror neurons, 9, 31, 47, 48, 93, 95, 96, 100 miscommunication, 13 mission statement, 68–71, 83 mistakes, responding to, 74 mobile phones, communication with, 168 dependence on, 32–34 and depression, 50 iPhone, 167 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index 261 morality, 117 music, in webinars, 178 negative interactions, 234 negotiation, 96 networking and personal brand, 72, 73 in sales, 220–221 social, 107–117 neurons, mirror, 9, 31, 47, 48, 93, 95, 96, 100 nomophobia, 4, 32–34 nonverbal communication in face-to-face communication, 14 lack of, in digital communication, 35–36 See also body language Obama, Barack, 20 office space, 242 online communication See digital communication; virtual communication online networking, 107–117 online persona, 9–10 balance for, 72–73 building, 75 concept of, 47 consistency in, 67–68, 74–75 danger of passivity toward, 76–77 focus for, 73 getting started with, 80–82 importance of, 75–76 lack of control over online, 65–84 preventative maintenance of, 77–78 refreshing your, 78 social media, 33 Index.indd 261 taking control of, 72–75, 82–83, 238–239 online relationships, 43–44, 107–117 online sales See sales online teams, 111–115 online values statement, 67–71, 83 openness, 44 opportunity cost, of digital communication, 5–6 overexposure, 72 overtones, of human voices, 19, 97–99 Palmer, Chris, 68–70 passion, 159, 160 passivity, danger of online, 76–77 pattern recognition, 17, 29 patterns, 8, 12–13 perception, 117 perception checks, 196–197, 198 persona See online persona personal brand, 67–68, 72–75, 78, 80–82 personal connections, 111–112 personal message, 71–72 personal mission statement, 68–71 personal relationships, 106–108 personal values, 81 personal value statement, 67–71, 83 platform, 70–71 point of view, 72, 134–136 politicians, 32 positional power, 158–159 power positional, 158–159 relationships, 239 predictions, 8, 29 problem identification, 81–82 13/08/18 1:03 PM 262 Index propriety, in social networking, 110 prosodic behaviors, 153 public conference calls, 150 rants, 81, 141 rapport, 116, 207 ratings, 115 reciprocity, 115, 219–220 referrals, 225–226 relationships business, 50–53 customer, 118–120, 214–215, 218–219, 224 face-to-face, 54, 111, 213, 233 life cycle of, 50–53 power, 239 virtual, 36, 43–44, 65, 106–108, 213, 216, 233–234 winding down, 53 work, 106–108 reviews, 115 “right to be forgotten” rules, 67 safe places, 112 sales, 213–231 cheat sheet for, 230 closing, 216, 217 cold calls, 224, 226–228 credibility and trust in, 216–217 and customer relationships, 214–215, 218–219, 224 and decision-making process, 217–218 and mirroring, 222–223 practical fixes for, 228–230 and reciprocity, 219–220 referrals, 225–226 and subject-matter expertise, 225–226 Index.indd 262 tips for successful, 224–228 using connections in, 220–221 sales cycle, 214–215, 216 scarcity, 115–116 search engine optimization, 78–80 self-disclosure, 136 selfies, 213–214 self-referentialism, 214 self-restraint, 130 sensory input, 7, 8–9, 27–42, 48–49, 193 short term, 118–120 silence, during conference calls, 154–155 similarity, 116 SimpliFlying, 161–164 Skype rules for using, 194–196 See also videoconferencing Slack, 128, 141–145, 196 smartphones, 32–34, 167 See also mobile phones smiling, when talking, 156 social anxiety, 243–244 social capital, 108–109 sociality, 117, 119 socialization, 154 social media, 72 personas, 33 for webinar follow-up, 184 social networking importance of, 107–109 tips for, 109–117 social obligation, social validation, 115 sonic branding, 178 storytelling, 54–58, 117, 174, 210 subject-matter experts, 225–226 successes, celebrating team, 112–113 suicide, 213 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index 263 tact, 37 target audience, 116 teams communication on, 45 face-to-face meetings of, 236 leaders of, 113–114, 239 shared activities for, 156 virtual, 111–115 technology embracing, 238 virtual reality, 240–242 webinar, 177–178 See also specific types telephone, 18–19, 98–99, 194 See also conference calls; mobile phones temperature check, 102–103 text-based communication, 131–140 See also email texting, 6, 85, 128 third-party endorsements, and sales, 216 tone communication of, in email, 10, 133–134 transparency, 110, 136, 139, 145, 239 trolling, 11, 30, 32, 34 trust betrayal of, 119–120 in communications, 74 establishing, 52, 112, 113, 115, 117–120, 122, 207 fragility of, 11, 31, 32, 36 gaining back after losing, 117–118, 233 and intentions, 117, 119 nature of, 30 and sales process, 216–217, 219 in virtual world, 105, 216, 233 truth, emotional, 12–13 turn-taking, in videoconferences, 197–198 Index.indd 263 tweeting, 128–129 Twitter, 128–129, 177 unconscious mind and communication, decision making by, 10, 15–17, 56–58 emotional connections needed by, 14 and first impressions, 51 and identification of human voices, 97–98 information gathering by, 91 lack of awareness of, 18 meaning processing by, 7–8 and online world, 58–59 power of, 19–20 workings of, 15–17 undertones, of human voices, 19, 97–99 update videos, 122 upselling, 135–136 user-generated content, 245 values statement, 67–71, 83 video, 21, 192–194, 237–238 videoconferencing agenda for, 201 artificiality of, 46 backup plans for, 201, 206 behavior for, 202–206 breaks in, 199 cheat sheet for, 207–210 facilities for, 192–193 group input during, 237 lack of cues in, 21–22 logistics of, 200–202, 203 MC role in, 196, 198 perception checks during, 196–197, 198 practical fixes for, 207–211 13/08/18 1:03 PM 264 Index videoconferencing (continued) problems with, 1–3, 7, 199 rehearsing for, 202–203, 205 responding during, 196–197 rules for, 194–196 speaking and listening during, 206–207 turn taking in, 196, 197–198 ways to improve, 200–207 videos, 122, 184 viral information, 54 virtual communication breaks in, 236 and collaboration, 199 downsides of, 1–23 group input during, 237 guidelines for, 37–39 improving emotional connections in, 100–103 lack of sensory feedback in, 8–9, 27–42 misinterpretation of, 28–29 missing cues in, 86–87 missing emotions in, 3–4, 13, 14, 43–64, 85–104 tips for improving, 236–238 trends in, 240–246 See also specific types virtual criticism, 89–90 virtual feedback, 30–31, 32–34, 37–39 virtual meetings decision making in, 94 drawbacks of, 169–170, 195–196 group input during, 237 MC or chair for, 63 mixed with face-to-face, 196 participation in, 63 by publicly traded companies, 174 as second best, 35–37 sharing emotions in, 237–238 Index.indd 264 virtual reality, 240–242 virtual relationships, 36, 65, 107–117, 213, 216, 233–234 virtual safe space, 63 virtual teams, 111–115 virtual temperature check, 102–103 virtual world combining with real world, 156 diminished humanity in, 46–47 emotions in, 235–236 future of, 234–235, 240–246 lack of connection in, 53–55, 105–124 lack of control in, 65–84 lack of engagement in, 31 trust in, 32, 233 vision, vocal patterns, 18–21 voice quality, 151, 153, 159 vulnerability, 109 warm calls, 224 warmth, 74, 75 weak-tie friendships, 213, 233–234 webinars, 167–189 agenda for, 172 audience interaction in, 181–182 backup speakers, 178 breaks in, 173 cheat sheet for, 186–189 collaboration in, 173–174 focus for, 174–175 follow-up after, 183–185 ground rules, 176–177 group involvement in, 176–177 media and technology for, 177–178 music for, 178 number of participants in, 175 overuse of, 169–170 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index 265 problems with, 169–170, 194 reasons not to have, 170–171 record keeping role for, 174–175 responding to questions during, 182 start time of, 171–172 strengthening connections in, 173–176 structuring, 171–173 suggestions for improving, 171–186 tech person for, 172 time points in, 173 true meaning of, 180–181 Uncle Joe problem, 180–181 Index.indd 265 weekly staff call, 151, 153–155 witty comments, 121–122 worker disengagement, 14 work-life balance, 192 work-life blend, 192, 239 work relationships, 106–108 work schedules, 114 written communication, 15, 86, 131–140 clarity in, 132–134, 136–137 grace of expression in, 139–140 hierarchical thinking in, 137–138 point of view in, 134–136 practical fixes for, 146–148 13/08/18 1:03 PM Index.indd 266 13/08/18 1:03 PM ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This book came about because so many audience members asked me about virtual communication when I was trying to talk about body language that I had to listen Once again, my long-suffering agent, Esmond Harmsworth, helped shape the arguments herein at early stages And Jeff Kehoe and Harvard Business Review Press took the book from rough to ready I am deeply grateful to Jeff for his continuing faith in a book that has labored through several violent rewrites in an effort to capture an ever-changing virtual environment Thanks to all my clients, friends, and fellow coaches who have said encouraging things that kept me going when the way ahead seemed obscure and uncertain Thanks, David, Josh, Rick, Vince, Sally, Susan, Ryan, Brian and Dharmesh, Pascal, Lori, Stephen, Jordan and Ashley, Christine, Tamsen, Mitch, Christopher, Mark, Trine, Matt, Tim, Matthew, Jeff, Steve, and many others At the heart of what I is a family business, and without Nikki, Sarah, and Emma, these ideas would be immeasurably poorer Thanks also to Holly Smith, whose research and enthusiasm helped at a crucial stage And thanks particularly to Sarah, who labored with me on the research and the early formulation of the ideas Acknowledgments.indd 267 13/08/18 12:08 PM 268 Acknowledgments Thanks again to the whole international family, for belief, love, and encouragement Thanks, Emma and Dave, Sarah and Jack, Eric and Julia, Howard and Rita Finally, to Nikki, my amazing wife, who manages the remarkable feat of listening with both love and discernment My love always Acknowledgments.indd 268 13/08/18 12:08 PM ABOUT THE AUTHOR NICK MORGAN is one of America’s top communication speak- ers, theorists, and coaches A passionate teacher, he is committed to helping people find clarity in their thinking and ideas—and then delivering them with panache He has been commissioned by Fortune 50 companies to write for many CEOs and presidents He has coached people to give congressional testimony, to appear in the media, and to deliver an unforgettable TED Talk He has worked widely with political and educational leaders He has spoken, led conferences, and moderated panels at venues around the world During the last election cycle, he provided expert commentary on the presidential debates for CNN Nick’s methods, which are well known for challenging conventional thinking, have been published worldwide His acclaimed book on public speaking, Working the Room: How to Move People to Action through Audience-Centered Speaking, was published by Harvard Business Review Press in 2003 and reprinted in paperback in 2005 as Give Your Speech, Change the World: How to Move Your Audience to Action His book on authentic communication, Trust Me, was published by Jossey-Bass in January 2009 His book on communication and brain science, Power Cues: The Subtle Science of Leading Groups, Persuading Others, About_the_Author.indd 269 13/08/18 12:05 PM 270 About the Author and Maximizing Your Personal Impact, was published by Harvard Business Review Press in May 2014 Nick served as editor of the Harvard Management Communication Letter from 1998–2003 He has written hundreds of articles for local and national publications, and appears frequently on radio and TV Nick is a former fellow at the Center for Public Leadership at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government After earning his PhD in literature and rhetoric, Nick spent a number of years teaching Shakespeare and public speaking at the University of Virginia, Lehigh University, and Princeton University He first started writing speeches for Virginia Governor Charles S Robb and went on to found his own communications consulting organization, Public Words, in 1997 Nick attributes his success to his honest and direct approach that challenges even the most confident orators to rethink how they communicate About_the_Author.indd 270 13/08/18 12:05 PM ... 12:10 PM 10? ?Can You Hear Me? As we’ll see, you can manage your virtual persona to a certain extent, but on the whole, it’s as if every step you ever took were memorialized in wet cement as you ventured... that doesn’t mean that we can? ??t make some essential, enduring observations about the main—and glaring—problems with virtual communications and begin to suggest what to about them Now back to. .. of people who are unhappy communicating virtually and incompetent communicating face -to- face Those of us with one foot in the faceto-face world and one foot in the virtual world are torn We are