đánh giá bản dịch tiếng việt của tác phẩm tiếng gọi nơi hoang dã của hai dịch giả nguyễn cung ái và vũ tuấn phương

Therefore, the writer decides to make a comparison between the original version and the translated one to see whether the translators can transship both the connotative and denotative me

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES

******

NGUYỄN THỊ THU HIỀN

AN EVALUATION OF THE VIETNAMESE TRANSLATED

VERSION OF “THE CALL OF THE WILD” BY Nguyen

cung ai and vu tuan phuong

Đánh giá bản dịch tiếng việt của tác phẩm “Tiếng gọi nơi hoang

dã” của hai dịch giả Nguyễn Cung Ái và Vũ Tuấn Phương

MINOR M.A THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 60 22 15

Hanoi - 2012

NGUYỄN THỊ THU HIỀN

AN EVALUATION OF THE VIETNAMESE TRANSLATED

VERSION OF “THE CALL OF THE WILD” BY Nguyen

cung ai and vu tuan phuong

Đánh giá bản dịch tiếng việt của tác phẩm “Tiếng gọi nơi hoang

dã” của dịch giả Nguyễn Cung Ái và Vũ Tuấn Phương

MINOR M.A THESIS

Field: English Linguistics Code: 60 22 15

Supervisor: Pham Thi Thanh Thuy (Ph.d)

Hanoi - 2012

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Abstract ………

Acknowledgements ………

Table of content………

List of abbreviations………

PART I: INTRODUCTION 1 Rational for the study………

2 Objective of the study………

3 Scope and method of the study………

3.1 Scope of the study 3.2 Method of the study 4 Organization of the study………

PART II: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Translation theory………

1.1.1 Definition of translation ………

1.1.2 Translation methods and procedures………

Page

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1.1.2.1 Translation methods………

1.1.2.2 Translation procedures………

1.1.3 Translation equivalence………

1.1.3.1 Definition………

1.1.3.2 Types of translation equivalence………

1.2 Contrastive Analysis 1.3 Translation assessment/ evaluation………

1.3.1 Definition………

1.3.2 Translation Quality Assessment Models………

1.3.2.1 Julianne House and her model………

1.3.2.2 Peter Newmark‘s model………

CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER 2 OF “THE CALL OF THE WILD” 2.1 A brief analysis of the Source Language text ………

2.2 The translator’s purpose………

2.3 Comparing the translation with the original………

2.4 An evaluation of the translation………

2.4.1 An evaluation of the translation version in the translator‘s

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terms………

2.4.2 An evaluation of the translation version in the critic‘s terms… 2.4.3 An evaluation of the translation version as a piece of writing, independently of its original………

2.5 The translation’s future………

PART 3: DISCUSSION OF RESULTS AND CONCLUSION REFERENCES………

Appendix A English version of the selected text ……… Appendix B Vietnamese version of the selected text……… Appendix C: Evidence quoted from the original and the translated version

37

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LIST OF DIAGRAMS AND TABLES

Table 1: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the

translation with the original

23

Table 2:Evidences about translators‘ achievements in terms of word

choice and expressions

25

Table 3: Evidences about translators‘ achievements in terms of using

idioms

26

Table 4: More evidences about translators‘ achievements in terms of

word choice and expressions

PART I: INTRODUCTION

5 Rational for the study

Translation is an issue which attracts more and more attention from many people all over the world Nowadays, in the inevitable trend of globalization and integration, not only the professional translators but also many people working in different fields such as health care, economy, politics, etc, are concerned about the quality of translation However, in fact, to have a high-quality translation version, especially in the field of literature, is not an easy task and it involves a lot of skills from the translators According to the translator Thuy Toan(1993), to have a good translation version, the translator must not only love his job and literature but also be good at their mother tongue, know foreign languages, have a thorough knowledge of culture, work cautiously and be industrious at consulting From his point of view, it is clear that translation is a challenging job, which requires the translator both the knowledge of the language and the background knowledge of the culture which the literary works belongs to Sometimes, due to lack of either of these or because of the translator‘s carelessness, the translated version may not be concise enough Even more seriously, it can transfer the wrong message that is attached in the literary works At present, in Vietnam, works of literary translations are growing rapidly , even uncontrollably in quantity for commercial purposes ; however, there has been no popular criterion for a good and valuable translated version Besides the successfully -translated masterpieces such as Wuthering Heights (Đồi gió hú ), Harry Porter, Noruwei no mori (Rừ ng Nauy), The Centaur in the Garden (Con nhân mã ở trong vườn ), there still exists ones of bad quality, for example , the Vietnamese version of ―The Da Vinci Code‖ (Mật mã Da Vinci) by translator Đo Thu Ha (Van Hoa-Thong Tin Publisher ,2006) This translation receives a lot of criticism right from publication because of the mistakes that she should not have made in terms of vocabulary, grammar and descriptions For this reason, the minor thesis would like to focus on the evaluation of one literary translation

so that the readers can have better understanding of some models of translation quality assessment initiated by some famous linguists in the world like Nida and Taber, Peter Newmark, and J House, etc

Within the limitation of the minor thesis, only some of these models will be introduced, and then, the model of Peter Newmark will be applied in evaluating the Vietnamese translated version of ―The Call of the Wild‖ by Nguyen Cung Ai and Vu Tuan Phuong, two great and famous Vietnamese translators to point out both the strengths and weaknesses of translated texts in comparison with the original Also, the author would like to investigate the prominent equivalence types the translator has achieved in translating this famous masterpiece so that other translators can get some experiences from them

6 Objective of the study

This thesis mainly aims at answering the three research questions:

 How good is the Vietnamese version of ―The Call of the Wild‖ according to Newmark‘s model?

 What are the weaknesses of the translated version?

 What might be some lessons learned from the translation version?

7 Scope and method of the study

3.1 Scope of the study

The masterpiece ―The Call of the Wild‖ includes of seven chapters in total Due

to the limited time for this study, only Chapter Two of this short story will be chosen as the typical analysis of the success and the shortcomings of two translators in translating this masterpiece from English into Vietnamese The title of this chapter is ―The Law of Club and Fang‖ and the reason why this chapter is chosen is that the writer has had access to this chapter since she was a fourth year student At that time, she had chances

to learn about this chapter in the subject ―English Literature‖, which attracts her a lot Moreover, this is a moving chapter about the process in which the dog adapts itself to

the new harsh environment and rude owners Therefore, the writer decides to make a comparison between the original version and the translated one to see whether the translators can transship both the connotative and denotative meaning of the source text into the target text or not

a Method of the study

The goal of this study is to evaluate the quality of the translated version of ―The Call of the Wild‖ by Nguyen Cung Ai and Vu Tuan Phuong To reach this goal, I decide to have an insight into various translation quality assessment models by different authors, among which Peter Newmark‘s model is chosen as the main criteria for assessing the Vietnamese version of this masterpiece because of its strong points in terms of application, that is, it is easy to follow During the assessing process, Contrastive Analysis approach will be applied to compare and evaluate the translated version against the original one

This assessing process will be carried out as follows First, the original text will

be read thoroughly and comprehensively, then the source text will be compared to its translation under the framework of NewMark‘s TQA model According to his model, there are five main steps towards TQA and the researcher is going to strictly follow them:

 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects

 Step 2: the translator‘s interpretation of the SL text‘s purpose, his translation method and the translation‘s likely readership

 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original in terms of both sematics and syntactics

 Step 4: an evaluation of the translation: - (a) in the translator‘s terms, (b) in the critic‘s terms, (c) as a piece of writing, independently of its original

 Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline

8 Organization of the study

The study contains three main parts:

Part 1: Introduction

Part 2: Development This part includes two chapters:

Chapter 1: Literature Review

This part will discuss different basic aspects of translation, which is compulsory background knowledge for any translation assessor who wishes to evaluate the quality

of translation, including definition of translation, translation methods and procedures, translation equivalence, and translation assessment

Chapter 2: Application of Newmark‘s TQA model in evaluating Chapter Two of

―The Call of the wild‖

In this chapter, Newmark‘s five- step TQA model mentioned above will be applied in assessing the Vietnamese version of chapter 2 in the works ―The Call of the Wild‖ by Jack London

Finally, part 3 will deal with the discussion of the results of this study and some conclusions will be drawn

The quality of the translation text including both translators‘ strengths and weaknesses, which are based on the application of the model, will be discussed Also, some implications and suggestions will be made for other translators, especially in the field

of literature

PART II: DEVELOPMENT

CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW

1.1 TRANSLATION THEORY

1.1.1 Definition of translation

Translation has a long history and plays an important role in linguistics as Kelly, L.G- a prominent figure in linguistic circle, once stated ―Without translation, there is

no history of the world‖ However, there have been so many different opinions of what

a translation is that it has become a controversial topic so far Within the scope of this thesis, just some famous viewpoints around this topic of some outstanding researchers will be mentioned to illustrate this

The first is the definition made by Newmark, a well-known researcher who has made a great deal of important contributions to the development of translation

According to him, “Translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written

message and statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language‖ (Newmark, 1988a:7) This definition is quite evident and easy to

understand

Sharing a similar viewpoint, Catford (1965:20) considers translation ―The

replacement of textual material in one language (source language) by an equivalent textual material in other language (target language)‖

Along the same line, Hartman and Stork (1972:713) also gave their own

definition of translation According to them, ―Translation is the replacement of a

representation of a text in one language by a representation of an equivalent text in a second language.‖

Besides, there were many other authors giving their opinion towards this term‘s

definition such as Marlone (1988) who believes that ―Translation is the expression in

another language (or Target Language) of what has been expressed in another, Source Language, preserving semantic and stylistic equivalences‖ or Nida, E.A (1975:33)

who claims that: ―Translation consists of producing in the receptor language the

closest natural equivalence to the message of the source language, first in meaning and second in style‖

From these definitions, it is noticeable that although different authors have various ways of defining translation, there is one thing in common in their expressions, that is, they all emphasize the importance of finding the closest equivalence in meaning

by the choice of appropriate target language‘s lexical and grammatical structures, communication situation, and cultural context

1.1.2 Translation methods and procedures

To translate a text from a source language to the target language, the translator must use some translation methods and procedures, sometimes a combination of them According to Le Hung Tien (2006), to be successful in evaluating the translation quality, the critic must have knowledge of the basic matters of translation theory, such

as the nature of translation, translation procedure, translation methods and translation equivalence, etc Therefore, it is necessary for us to have some basic background knowledge about translation methods and procedures that are often used by translators

1.1.2.1 Translation methods

In terms of translation methods, Newmark (1988) suggests eight methods of translation

as in the diagram below:

Faithful translation Idiomatic translation Semantic translation Communicative translation

(Newmark, 1988: 45)

It is clear from this diagram that the relationship of each method with the source language and the target language is different The position of each method (higher to lower in comparison with the source language or the target language) reflects not only the distance with the source language and the target language but also the features of the translation product created by a respective method: whether it is more alike to the source language or the target language (Le Hung Tien, 2006) For example, word-for-word translation method creates the product characterizing the most features of source language and adaptation give birth to a translation version which is the most alike to the target language

Each method can briefly explained by Newmark as follows:

Word-for-word translation: The SL word-order is preserved and words translated singly by

their most common meaning, out of context

Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are converted to their nearest TL

equivalents but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context

Faithful translation: attempts to reproduce the precise contextual meaning of the original

within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures

Semantic translation: takes more account of the aesthetic value of the SL text than faithful

translation, compromising on ‗meaning‘ where appropriate so that assonance, word-lay or repetition jars in the finished version Therefore, it is more flexible, allows for the translator‘s intuitive empathy with the original

Adaptation: In adaptation, the themes, characters, plots are preserved, and the SL culture is

converted to the TL culture and the text is rewritten

Free translation: is usually a paraphrase much longer than the original, a so-called

‗Intralingual translation‘, often prolix and pretentious, and not translation at all

Idiomatic translation: reproduces the ‗message‘ of the original but tends to distort nuances of

meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where these do not exist in the original

Communicative translation: attempts to render the exact contextual meaning of the original

in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership

(Newmark, 1988: 45-7)

Among these methods, Newmark put emphasis on two methods, semantic and communicative translation, because from his viewpoint, ―Only semantic and communicative translations fulfill the two main aims of translation, which are first, accuracy and second, economy.‖(Newmark, 1988:47)

Also, in his book ―A textbook of translation‖ (1995), he also mentions other methods including service translation, plain prose translation, information translation, cognitive translation, and academic translation

1.1.2.2 Translation procedures

Turning to translation procedures, there still exist some disagreements about what name to call this category Some authors use the term ―procedure‖ while some others prefer the term ―techniques‖ or ―strategies‖ Whatever it is called, we can understand them as methods applied by translators when they formulate equivalence for the purpose of transferring elements of meaning from the source text (ST) to the target text (TT) (cited by Delisle when which page)

In this thesis, I would like to use the term ―procedure‖ by Newmark (1988) In fact, different authors have different classifications of translation procedures However,

in fact, the terms used in their classfications sometimes overlap Therefore, here the writer just wants to mention 14 translation procedures proposed by Newmark in his book ―A textbook of translation‖(1995) They include:

Transference: it is the process of transferring a SL word to a TL text It includes

transliteration and it is somewhere called "transcription."

Naturalization: it adapts the SL word first to the normal pronunciation, then to the normal

morphology of the TL

Cultural equivalent: it means replacing a cultural word in the SL with a TL one however,

"they are not accurate"

Functional equivalent: it requires the use of a culture-neutral word

Descriptive equivalent: in this procedure the meaning of the SLT is explained in several

words

Componential analysis: it means "comparing an SL word with a TL word which has a similar

meaning but is not an obvious one-to-one equivalent, by demonstrating first their common and then their differing sense components."

Synonymy: it is a "near TL equivalent." Here economy trumps accuracy

Through-translation: it is the literal translation of common collocations, names of

organizations and components of compounds It can also be called: calque or loan translation

Shifts or transpositions: it involves a change in the grammar from SL to TL, for instance, (i)

change from singular to plural, (ii) the change required when a specific SL structure does not exist in the TL, (iii) change of an SL verb to a TL word, change of an SL noun group to a TL noun and so forth

Modulation: it occurs when the translator reproduces the message of the original text in the

TL text in conformity with the current norms of the TL, since the SL and the TL may appear dissimilar in terms of perspective

Recognized translation: it occurs when the translator "normally uses the official or the

generally accepted translation of any institutional term."

Compensation: it occurs when loss of meaning in one part of a sentence is compensated in

another part

Paraphrase: in this procedure the meaning of the CBT is explained Here the explanation is

much more detailed than that of descriptive equivalent

Couplets: it occurs when the translator combines two different procedures

―A textbook of translation‖(1995)

As can be seen, in this classification, each procedure is distinguished quite clearly from each other However, in real situation of translating a text, it is essential to use a combination of them flexibly

1.1.3 Translation equivalence

1.1.3.1 Definition

Translation equivalence is the key concept of translation theory and it is also the main criterion in assessing the quality of a translation In the past, translation equivalence was simply defined as the similarities and the differences between two

linguistic units of two language systems; however, nowadays, due to the swift development of linguistics and other related sciences, this definition has become more and more complicated As a result, different authors give different concepts towards

this term Newmark (1995: 48) states: ―The overriding purpose of any translation

should be to achieve „equivalent effect‟, i.e to produce the same effect (or one as close

as possible) on the readership of translation as was obtained on the readership of the original‖

Baker has another way to define this term by pointing out three levels of translation equivalence basing on the linguistic forms, that is, equivalence at word level, sentence level and text level To be more concrete, she explores the notion of non-equivalence at different levels and in relation to the translation process including non-equivalence at word level, non-equivalence above word level, grammatical equivalence, textual equivalence and pragmatic equivalence

Adding to this various list of translation equivalence, Andrew Chesterman

(1989: 100), in "Readings in Translation Theories" describes that there are "various

categories of equivalence that have been proposed in the literature of translation theory: content equivalence (often also: content invariance), stylistic equivalence, formal equivalence, functional equivalence, textural equivalence, communicative

equivalence, pragmatic equivalence"

From the view point of Julianne House (1977: 25), meaning equivalence is the

most essential in translation: "The essence of translation lies in the preservation of

'meaning' across two different languages"

As can be seen, ―translation equivalence‖ is still a complex and controversial concept Personally, I am in favor of Ivir‘s expression of translation equivalence :

“Equivalence is…relative and not absolute,…it emerges from the context of situation

as defined by the interplay of (many different factors) and has no existence outside that context, and in particular it is not stipulated in advance by an algorithm for the

conversion of linguistic units of L1 into linguistic units of L2” (Ivir, 1996:155) To

have better understanding of this term, it is necessary to have a look at how translation equivalence is classified into different types

1.1.3.2 Types of translation equivalence

Similar to the case of ―translation equivalence definition‖, at present, there are many diverse ways of classifying types of ―translation equivalence‖, among which four popular classifications can be identified as follows: Quantity-based, form-based, meaning-based, and function-based equivalence Basing on quantitative approach (quantity-based), Munday (2001) suggests five types of translation equivalence: One-to-one equivalence, one-to-many equivalence, many- to-one equivalence, one-to-part-of-one equivalence, nil equivalence From this categorization, it is noticeable that Munday mainly focused on the quantity of equivalence rather than meaning equivalence Baker (1992) who is in favor of form-based equivalence classifies translation equivalence into equivalence at word level (number, gender, tense) and above word level and textual equivalence (equivalence between a SL text and a TL text

in terms of information and cohesion) On the contrary, Nida (1964), who supports function-based equivalence, distinguishes formal equivalence and dynamic translation

as basic orientations According to him, formal equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the closest possible match of form and content and dynamic equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the same effect on their effective readers

As seen above, each author has his/her own reasons for classifying different types of translation equivalence However, with respect to three basic factors in translating: the nature of the message, the purpose of the author and the translator and the type of audience, the kind of equivalence by Koller(1979) can be considered a satisfactory approach Basing on text meaning, Koller (1979) classified equivalence in translation into five catagories as follows:

 Denotative equivalence: the SL and the TL words refer to the same thing in the real world

 Connotative equivalence: In addition to denotative value, source and target language words

should also produce the same communicative values in the mind of native speakers of the two languages

 Text-normative equivalence: The SL and the TL words are used in the same or similar

context in their respective languages

 Pragmatic equivalence: With readership orientation, the SL and TL words have the same

effect on their respective readers

 Formal equivalence: In this type of equivalence, source and target language have the same

formal aesthetic features, orthographic or phonological features

In brief, this classification can be used as basic criteria to assess the equivalence of the

translation version in comparison with the original

1.2 Contrastive Analysis

As mentioned above, to evaluate the quality of a translation version, it is necessary to find out any similarities and differences between it and the original Because of this, it is essential to understand contrastive analysis According to James (1980), the history of contrastive analysis (CA) starts with Lado‘s Linguistics across cultures (1957) In his book, Lado stated that ―those elements which are similar to the learner‘s native language will be simple for him, and those elements that are different will be difficult‖ (Lado, 1957) James also believed that two earlier books on the linguistic integration of immigrants to the USA- Weinreich (1953) and Haugen (1956) gave Lado his impetus James (1980:3) gave a provisional definition of CA as ―CA is a linguistic enterprise aimed at producing inverted (i.e., contrastive, not comparative) two-valued typologies (a CA is always concerned with a pair of languages), and founded on the assumption that languages can be compared‖ He considered CA as inter-language study and applied linguistics

In short, contrastive analysis is the systematic study of a pair of languages to identify their similarities and differences

1.3 Translation assessment/ evaluation

1.3.1 Definition

In fact, this term has many other alternative names such as ―Translation quality assessment‖ as in the study of Malcolm Williams (2009), or ―Translation criticism‖ in the book ―A textbook of translation‖ by Newmark(1995) or ―Translation evaluation‖

by Julianne House Here are some ways of defining this term by some famous

researchers According to Hatim and Mason, ―The assessment of translator

performance is an activity which, despite being widespread, is under-researched and under-discussed‖ (Hatim and Mason 1997:199, cited in Williams, 2001) From this

definition, it can be seen that Hatim and Mason have not given a concrete definition of

―translation assessment‖ but mainly emphasize the fact of assessing translation text at that time and the necessity of paying more attention to assess translation text seriously and more critically

Newmark (1995) also gives his own definition, however, similar to Hatim and Mason, his focus is not really on what translation assessment actually is but rather on

the importance of translation evaluation as followed: "Translation criticism is an

essential link between translation theory and its practice." (Newmark, p184)

Among famous researchers, Malcolm William‘s definition can be said to be much clearer He defines the term ―Translation Quality Assessment‖ (TQA) in several aspects:

― TQA is a type of evaluation‖

―TQA can be quantitative or qualitative: it can be based on mathematical/ statistical measurement (as in the case of most academic instruments) or on reader response, interviews and questionnaires (e.g Nida)‖

―TQA‖ can be diagnostic (determining areas for improvement at the outset of a course of study), formative (measuring progress and giving feedback during a course of study) or summative (measuring the results of learning)‖

After all, he comes to a conclusion that ―Whether our focus is on products,

performance or competence, we are essentially trying to determine degrees of

goodness when we perform TQA The approach can be prescriptive, assessing translation against criteria of aesthetic effect, usability, and intrinsic compliance with standards of target language correctness and fidelity.”

1.3.2 Translation Quality Assessment Models

There are many different approaches to TQA and TQA models However, in this thesis, I just want to mention the latter which will be the direct basis for evaluating the translated version of the masterpiece ―The Call of the wild‖ The concept ―Models

of TQA‖ is not new because it has been initiated by many authors such as Wilss (1974) Koller (1974) or Reiss (1974) However, according to Le Hung Tien (2006), the models suggested by Koller, Wilss and Reiss, in spite of being very potential, lack concrete steps to be applied in reality Peter Newmark (1995) and Julianne House(1997) are two outstanding researchers who create their own models to repair these shortcomings of the previous authors Therefore, we will have deeper insight into their models

1.3.2.1 Julianne House and her model

In fact, this model was first designed in the mid-seventies (House 1977, 2d.ed.1981) and recently revisited (House 1997) The original functional-pragmatic model of translation was based on a set of ―situational dimensions‖ including three dimensions of ―language user‖, which are her/his temporal, geographical and social provenance and five dimensions of ―language use‖, for instance, on the text‘s topic and social activity and on the interaction of, and relationship between author and recipients

in terms of social role relationship, social attitude, degree of participant involvement and orality.‖ (House, 1977)

In the revisited model, she gives a clearer scheme for analyzing and comparing original and translation texts as follows:

A Scheme for Analyzing and Comparing Original and Translation Texts (House, 1997: 108)

In this model, in order to thoroughly categorize a text‘s function and the language required, House introduces the category Genre Genre here is defined as ―a socially established category characterized in terms of occurrence of use, source and a communicative purpose or any combination of these‖ (p:107) In general, the application of her new model enables us to examine a text on four different levels:

Function, Register and Language

According to Le Hung Tien (2006), the model of TQA has a clear linguistically theoretical base and concrete, detailed steps However, this model also requires linguistic knowledge and high occupational skills of the critics and the criticism mainly

+ author‘s provenance and stance

+ social role relationship + social attitude

Mode

+ medium (simple/complex) + participation (simple/complex)

Individual textual function

(

(generic purpose)

Language/text

aims at researching languages and translation Therefore, this model has not been applied widely and just at experimental level in translation studies Therefore, we will have a look at anther model of TQA by Peter Newmark

1.3.2.2 Peter Newmark’s model

Newmark (1988) gives his own model of TQA called ―comprehensive criticism

of a translation‖ including five obvious steps:

Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects

Step 2: The translator‘s interpretation of the SL text‘s purpose, his translation method and the translation‘s likely readership

Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original Step 4: An evaluation of the translation: - (a) in the translator‘s terms, (b) in the critic‘s terms, (c) assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its original

Step 5: Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline

Each step above is also made very clear in his book: ―A textbook of translation‖ (1995)

In the first step, the critic has to try to point out the author‘s purpose of writing his work, what attitude he takes towards the topic, what type of readers that the literary work aims at, and finally what type it is

In the second step, the critic has to review whether the translator has omitted any section of the original text and whether it affects the message that the author wishes to express Moreover, it is important to find out if any text is over-translated and to what extent the cultural meaning of the original text has been changed or transferred to the TL culture

The third step is the heart of the critique In this step, the critic has to choose the most selective and representative examples of the achievements and weaknesses of the translated version in comparison with the original text Then he has to group them under general heads such as the title, the structure, or cultural words… After that, it is

essential to analyze how the translator has solved the particular problems of the SL text

In the fourth step, the critic will evaluate the referential and pragmatic accuracy

of the translation at three levels: first by the translator‘s standards, second by the critic‘s standards, and last as a piece of writing, independently of its original In the first two criteria, besides evaluating the achievements of the translation, the critic has

to find out if there is any semantic deficits in the translation and what are the causes of this In the last criteria, he has to assess whether the translated version is written in a natural manner, that is, neat, elegant and agreeable or not

In the last step, especially in the case of literary works such as a poem, a story

or a novel, it is essential to assess the work's potential importance within the target language‘s literature by asking such questions as:―Does it have any influence on the target language‘s literature and culture?‖ ―If yes, what are the future of this translated text?‖

Again, according to Le Hung Tien(2006), although this model is not as clear and well theoretically based as in the case of House‘s model, it has many strong points in terms of application This is due to the fact that these steps are initiated from the practical experiences of the translators Moreover, it reflects the problems and the concerns of the translators in the translation process; therefore, it is easy to be carried out

For this reason, in this thesis, the writer decides to apply Newmark‘s model in assessing the quality of the translated version of Chapter Two in ―The Call of the Wild‖

CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER 2 OF “THE CALL

OF THE WILD”

This chapter will present the application of Newmark‘TQA model to assess the quality of the target text To be more specific, a source text profile will be analyzed basing on five steps which are mentioned above Step 3 and step 4 will be paid more attention because they are the most important parts of translation assessment according

to New Mark Finally, a statement of quality can be drawn from such findings under New Mark‘s framework

2.1 Step 1: A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects

Although ―The Call of the wild‖ is just a short story, it is considered Jack London‘s most popular work as well as the masterpiece of his so-called ―early period‖ Written as a frontier story about the gold rush, the story was first published in four installments in ―The Saturday Evening Post‖ Then in 1903, Macmillan published the story in book format

This story tells about the process of returning to primitivism of Buck- a dog, who lives in comfort on an estate in California but then is kidnapped and shipped to the Klondyke He becomes leader of a sledge-team and, after some hair-raising adventures, finally abandons human civilization and runs wild with the wolves

Because the main character of this story is Buck- a dog, it is often classified as children‘s literature; therefore, the primary readership is children However, because of the maturity of its subject matter, it is a worth-reading masterpiece for the older audiences as well In brief, the readers that this story aims at are people of all ages who are interested in foreign literature, especially works by Jack London

During this story, Jack London always keeps an affectionate attitude towards the animals and he demonstrates a deep understanding of their psychology and behavior

He supposes that only by real and limitless compassion towards the animals, can humans tame them, even the fiercest one Through the story about animals, he also attaches his philosophy about an indispensible war against savage exploitation in the development of human society

The translated version of this story is printed in the collection of short stories

―Tiếng gọi nơi hoang dã‖ by Jack London, translated directly by three translators Manh Chuong, Nguyen Cong Ai and Vu Tuan Phuong from the original version in the book

―The Call of the Wild‖ published by Heinemann Educational Books Ltd, London in The New Windmill series

The Vietnamese story collection also includes of other short stories by Jack London among which ―The Call of the Wild‖ is translated by two co-translators Nguyen Cung Ai and Vu Tuan Phuong ―The Law of Club and Fang‖ is the second chapter about Buck‘s process of adapting itself to a new violent and harsh environment where only the club and fang has the supreme power

The primary theme of the story is about survival and a return to primitivism According to the American literature scholar, Donald Pizer, the theme of this short story is very clear and allegorical : ―the strong, the shrewd, and the cunning shall prevail when…life is bestial‖ (Pizer, 1983:110) In addition, he believes London added

a Christian theme of love and redemption, as is shown by Buck's refusal to revert to violence until after the death of Thornton—to whom he is loyal and whom he loves.(Pizer, 1983, 109-110)

Writing in the "Introduction" to the Modern Library edition of The Call of the

Wild, E L Doctorow says the theme is based Darwin's concept of survival of the

fittest London shows that the veneer of civilization is thin and fragile, writes Doctorow, and in the story exposes the brutality at the core of humanity and the ease with which humans revert to a state of primitivism The struggle for life in the natural

world is somewhat the same as the struggle between man and man in the capital society

In terms of genre or type, this short story is considered an animal fiction Also

in the view of Donald Pizer, the enduring appeal of the story is that it is a combination

of allegory, parable, and fable In fact, this is true because Jack London attributed thoughts and insights to Buck to mimic human traits Thanks to that, he is able to reflect the brutality and violence of human society at that time

2.2 Step 2: the translator’s interpretation of the SL text’s purpose, his translation method and the translation’s likely readership

Comparing the translated version with the original of the masterpiece ―The Call

of the Wild‖, it is easy to recognize that two translators Nguyen Cong Ai and Vu Tuan Phuong do not omit any section of the source text The seven chapters in the origin are still kept with equivalent meaning in Vietnamese version

The language used in the translated version, in general, follows the language use

in the original version closely Most of the writer‘s ideas are transferred into the second language fully and successfully Some idioms or difficult structures and vocabulary are translated into Vietnamese creatively and easy to understand However, sometimes the translator adds or cuts details in the original version, which causes some problems This will be discussed later in this thesis

The cultural elements in the target language text are maintained and clarified, including geographical words

2.3 Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original

In this step, the researcher has been carefully chosen the most representative examples from the original and the translated version, from which comparison will be made to demonstrate the success as well as the shortcomings of the latter Only some

examples will be shown in the first part of the table as follows and to see the whole table for details, it is essential to see appendix C

shock and surprise

137 Nó bị gây sửng sốt , kinh

ngạc từng giờ

from the heart of civilization and flung into the heart of things primordial

137 Bấc đô ̣t ngô ̣t bi ̣ hất ma ̣nh ra

khỏi trung tâm của những vật nguyên thủy

4 15 There was imperative need to

be constantly alert; for these

dogs and men were not town dogs and men They

were savages, all of them, who knew no law but the law

of club and fang

138 Thường xuyên cảnh giác là

mô ̣t nhu cầu bắt buô ̣c , bởi vì chó và người ở đây không

đều man rợ , chúng không tuân theo mô ̣t luâ ̣t lê ̣ gì ngoài luâ ̣t của rùi cui và răng nanh

5 15 It is true, it was a vicarious

experience; else he would not

have lived to profit by it

138 Nói cho đúng ra , đây là một

kinh nghiê ̣m mà nó rút ra hay cho kẻ khác , chứ nếu ko

phải như vâ ̣y thì nó đã chẳng

còn tồn tại để mà vâ ̣n du ̣ng

những kinh nghiê ̣m ấy cho bản thân nó sau này

6 15 They were camped near the

log store, where she, in her

advances to a husky dog the

size of a full-growm wolf, though not half so large as she

138 Đoàn người và chó đóng

trại gần kho chứa gỗ Tại kho này, cô nàng Cơ li theo thói

quen thân thiê ̣n của mình sán

lại đánh bạn với mô ̣t con

chó Ét -ki-mô to bằng mô ̣t con sói trưởng thành, mă ̣c dù không bằng một nửa vóc dáng của Cơ li

a leap in like a flash, a

metallic clip of teeth, a leap out equally swift, and Curly‘s face was ripped open from eye to jaw

138 Không có dấu hiê ̣u báo trước

nào cả, chỉ có một bước nhảy vào nhanh như chớp , mô ̣t tiếng răng đâ ̣p vào nhau chói như tiếng kim loại , mỗi mô ̣t bước nhảy ra cũng nhanh như chớp , và thế là

mă ̣t Cơ li bi ̣ rách toa ̣c ra từ mắt đến hàm

who struck again and leaped

aside He met her next rush

with his chest, in a peculiar fashion, that tumbled her off her feet

139 Cơ li lao vào đối thủ Con

vâ ̣t này la ̣i đớp mô ̣t cái rồi

vọt ra một bên mô ̣t cách đă ̣c

biê ̣t, làm cho Cơ li ngã nhào chổng cả bốn vó lên

Cơ li lao vào lần nữa thì hắn dơ ức ra chă ̣n bốn vó lên

9 16 She never regained them 139 Cơ li không còn bao giờ

đứng dâ ̣y được nữa

on-looking huskies had waited for

139 Vì chính đó là điề u mà bầy

súc vật đứng nhìn kia đã chờ

đơ ̣i

Table 1: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original

(See more in Appendix C)

2.4 Step 4: an evaluation of the translation

2.4.1 An evaluation of the translation in the translator’s terms

The researcher is going to assess the Vietnamese version of ―The Call of the Wild‖ basing on the analysis of the evidences compared above Both the success as well as the weaknesses of the translated version will be pointed out clearly

First of all, the success that the translators have achieved in their translation is as follows

In general, basing on Koller(1995)‘s classfication of translation equivalence as mentioned in literature review, two translators have been very successful in achieving both both denotative and connotative equivalence in their translation version

In terms of syntactics, it is can be said that two translators have been very successful in transfering some English structures into Vietnamese structures flexibly and naturally It can be seen in examples 2, 4, 13, 27, 37, 47, 49, 54, 58, 61, 67, 72,73

(See detail examples in Appendix C)

One case in point is example 4: ―There was imperative need to be constantly alert‖ Normally, according to word order in English structure, this sentence can be translated into: ―có một nhu cầu bắt buộc là phải thường xuyên cảnh giác‖ However, it would sound awkward to Vietnamese readers because in Vietnamese, they rarely use structure ―there is‖ in such a case In this situation, two translators have been very excellent in translating it into ―Thường xuyên cảnh giác là một nhu cầu bắt buộc‖

Another example that should be taken into account is example 30: ―He had one

peculiarity which Buck was unlucky enough to discover He did not like to be

approached on his blind side” In English, passive structures are frequently used;

however, Vietnamse language seems to follow the opposite tendency Active voice tends to be more natural and clearer Thanks to their thorough understanding of this difference between grammar of two languages, two translators have translated this

sentence into: ―Lão có một tính đặc biệt , thâ ̣t không may mà Bấc đã phát hiê ̣n ra : lão

không thích kẻ nào sán đến gần bên măt mù của lão ‖ instead of ―…lão không thích

bị sán đến gần bên mặt mù của lão”

Besides the achievements in terms of syntactics, the translation version is also very successful in terms of semantics This is clearly reflected in word choice and expressions This phenomenon can be seen in a lot of examples in Chapter Two Within this thesis, the researcher just take some examples for analysis in the table below:

Number Original version Translated version

another dog, an old husky,

long and lean and gaunt, with

a battle-scarred face and a single eye which flashed a

warning of prowess that

commanded respect

142 Đến tối hôm ấy, Pê-rôn kiếm

được thêm một con chó nữa,

một lão chó Ét-ki-mô già,

mình dài, gầy guộc, có vẻ dữ

tợn, với bộ mặt có những

vết sẹo chinh chiến, và chỉ

còn một con mắt độc nhất

trong đó rực lên dấu hiệu

của sự can đảm, khiến kẻ

khác phải kính nể

77 23 A dainty eater, he found that

his mates, finishing first,

robbed him of his unfinished

ration

149 Cu cậu khảnh ăn nên lũ bạn

nó ăn xong trước, lại xông

đến cướp luôn cả phần của

nó đang ăn dở

Table 2:Evidences about translators’ achievements in terms of word choice and expressions

In examples 76 and 77, the translators have not only maintained denotative meaning but also transferred connotative meaning very well, especially connotation of evaluation In the story, all the dogs are personified with different characteristics For each dog, Jack London always attaches his evaluation of them through the way he describes them and two translators flexibly transferred those attitudes into Vietnamese

As the new dog here, Sol-leks, is old, the translators use the pronoun ―lão‖ to describe him, and other expressions such as ―chinh chiến‖, ―rực lên dấu hiệu của sự can đảm‖ show that the dog is an experienced one and other dogs should feel respect for him On the other hand, for Buck, the main character of this story as well as a young dog, Jack London always keeps a tender and loving attitude towards him Therefore, in this case,

it can be recognized that no word is better than the translators‘ word: ―cu cậu‖ to call him Moreover, the Vietnamese expression ―khảnh ăn‖, and ―xông đến cướp‖ are used successfully here to emphasize the contradiction between Buck and his brutal friends Besides, thanks to their knowledge of Vietnamese culture, two translators also utilised many equivalent Vietnamese idioms and phrases, which made the translation version very smooth and natural:

Number Original version Translated version

a leap in like a flash, a

metallic clip of teeth, a leap

138 Không có dấu hiê ̣u báo trước

nào cả, chỉ có một bước nhảy

vào nhanh như chớp , mô ̣t

out equally swift, and Curly‘s face was ripped open from eye to jaw

tiếng răng đâ ̣p vào nhau chói

như tiếng kim loa ̣i , mỗi mô ̣t

bước nhảy ra cũng nhanh như chớp, và thế là mặt Cơ li bị rách toạc ra từ mắt đến hàm

laugh again, and from that moment Buck hated him

with a bitter and deathless

hatred

140 Kia Xpít la ̣i thè lưỡi ra mà

cười Kể từ lúc ấy , Bấc mãi

mãi ghét cay ghét đắng

Xpít

appearance that Spits was forced to forego disciplining him; but to cover his own discomfiture he turned upon

the inoffensive and wailing

Billee…

142 Trông diê ̣n ma ̣o của nó đến

phát khiếp làm cho Xpít buô ̣c phải thôi không còn dám ghép nó vào khuôn vào phép gì nữa Nhưng để gỡ la ̣i thể diê ̣n Xpít la ̣i quay sang

tên Bi li lành như đất và

hay kêu ran kia…

one other and even more

vital ambition

143 …mỗi gã đều có mô ̣t ham

muốn khác, mô ̣t ham muốn

mang tính chất còn sinh tử

hơn nhiều

Table 3: Evidences about translators’ achievements in terms of using idioms

As can be seen from this table, in the translated version, the phrases ―like a flash‖, ―metallic‖, ―a bitter and deathless hatred‖, ―inoffensive‖, ―vital ambition‖ are respectivly translated into ―nhanh như chớp‖, ―chói như tiếng kim loại‖, ―ghét cay ghét