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UNIT 4: PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS I WARM-UP - Look at the pictures in your book Can you guess the relationship between the two people in each picture? What are they doing? Look at the gestures they make How close are they? - Are friends important in your life? Why? Do you have many close friends? Do you have different “circles of friends”? Is it difficult to keep friendship? II READING Some main ideas: - The dictionary defines the word “friend” as “one attached to another by affection or esteem” - Americans use the word “friend” freely It is difficult to formulate a precise definition of this word as it is used in the United States Circle of Friends - It is common for Americans to have different “circles of friends” such as church friends, work friends or sports friends - “Best friends” are usually two people of the same sex who have known each other for a long time People usually have more casual friends than close or best friends Mobility and Friendship - Americans are geographically mobile and learn to develop friendships easily and quickly - Relationships based on a common activity may fade or end when the activity ends In these friendships, shared daily experiences form the foundation for the relationship Enduring friendships develop when individuals have similar interests and a common outlook on life The high rate of mobility in the United States can explain a great deal about transient (short) friendships Instant Friendships - Instant friendships may appear to be deep and personal but are really superficial Friendship and friendliness are not synonymous Friendliness characterizes much of American daily interaction but is not always an indication of friendship Strangers may share life histories without any intention of pursuing a relationship Characterizing instant friendships is the appearance of two people becoming close but, in reality, there is no 17 strong bond between them Brief encounters not always imply desire for further contact Male- Female Relationships - In the United States men and women socialize relatively freely and develop a variety of relationships Single people of opposite sexes may be close friends and share personal problems with each other without being romantically involved There are no fixed rules for romantic or intimate relationships but there are restraints Men and women interact in varying degrees of intensity Dating may be serious or casual The commitment and obligations of people who are dating depend principally on the couple’s attitude - Married men and women sometimes consider each other best friends as well as spouses They also associate with members of the opposite sex either as couples or independently This does not mean that there are no constraints on the married men and women The limitations of these relationships are not always visible but they exist Most, but not all, married American couples practice monogamous relationships Intercultural Friendships - With foreign visitors, Americans may not always be the first ones to begin friendships However, it is important to know that Americans are receptive to developing friendships with international visitors It is advisable to approach Americans first to initiate friendships - A characteristic of American personal relationship is the absence of fixed rules governing them Therefore, a variety of friendships are possible in the United States III COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS Answers: a a c b a c a b b 10 c IV VOCABULARY Some new words: - Esteem (n): respect - Formulate (v): to express or reduce to a formula; to express in a systematic way - Precise (a): clearly expressed; definite; exact - Console (v): comfort - Segregation (n): separation; isolation from a group - Mobile (a): moving, able to be moved, easily and quickly from place to place; easily and often changing 18 - Relocate (v): establish, become established, in a new place or area - Fade (v): go slowly out of view, hearing or the memory; disappear slowly - Enduring (a): lasting - Transient (a): lasting for a short time only; brief - Superficial (a): of or on the surface only; not thorough or profound - Pursue (v): follow - Encounter (n): meeting - Terminate (v): end, cease - Spouse (n): wife or husband - Monogamous (a): having one wife or husband or lover at a time - Isolation (n): the state of being apart or alone Vocabulary Exercises A Definitions partner precision acquaintances companion formulate consoled segregate esteem B Multiple Choice d c 3.d 4.a c d a b d 10 c 11 d 12 a 13 a C Words in Sentences Being faithful to one’s spouse is one precious characteristic needed to be preserved Monogamous relationships are always important in the society It is so terrible to live in isolation from other people To be a successful language learner, you should not be passive in the classroom This city has a great tourism potential Overcoming one’ own bad habits is the greatest challenge to each person D Word Forms a references b reference c refer a mobility b mobile a superficial b superficiality c superficially a desirable b desire c desire d desirous a socially b sociable c socialize d social a intensity b intense c intensely d intensified a alternate b alternates c Alternatively d alternatives V CONVERSATIONAL ACTIVITIES Some guide for understanding the quotations and proverbs: 19 - “Friendship is the inexpressible nor measure words” : When you have a real friend beside you, you feel very comfortable and safe, you can say many things without worrying about choosing the words you use - “Don’t walk in front of me And just be my friend.” : Friends are equal - “Everyone’s friend is no one’s friend.” : It’s difficult to get on well with every person around us, so when a person can make friend with everyone, this kind of friendship is usually superficial and therefore is not lasting - “Cooked at one stirring makes friends too easily”: Easy come, easy go - “In trade and commerce friendship ceases.”: In trade and commerce where money and benefits come first, friendship cannot exist - “Friends are made in wine and proved in tears.” : A friend in need is a friend indeed Only through difficulties that you can find who is your real friend - “When you require nothing, go to your friends.”: Don’t think of what your friends can give you - “If your friend be honey, not eat him.”: Don’t take advantage of your friends - “Don’t wash the cup of friendship with vinegar.”: Don’t behave badly with your friends - ”There is no better mirror than an old friend.”: You can understand you easily thanks to your old friends - “Among soldiers and friends, compliments are superfluous.” : Compliments are unnecessary among friends and soldiers - “It is ret to take trouble for a friend.”: We are willing to take trouble for our friends - “One is never a friend by force.”: Friendship cannot be formed by force Etc Discuss: These quotations and proverbs imply that friendship is so precious and delicate Friendship can only be formed based on true emotions, be kept by the efforts from each person The longer friendship you have, the more precious it is B C Case Studies Situation - A Date with Mona Maybe in Mona’s culture, there are certain strict rules governing male-female relationships Going to a man’s house for dinner and cooking for a man are beyond what a girl is allowed to Moreover, this is perhaps the first time she hears a man say that, so she feels hurt and angry - In Mona’s family, men and women not eat at the same room, and women usually not join in the talk with male guests The girl - Mona can only talk, for the first time, with John in her parents’ presence 20 - Mona’s culture is quite different from American culture - In Mona’s culture, a girl may not go to a man’s house perhaps He might have invited her to a restaurant or a canteen Situation 2: A Friend of a Friend Mr Umm might get hurt because Michael went directly to meet Mr Tahh Mr Umm might think that Michael did not respect him and his friendship - In Mr Umm ’s culture, he might want to tell Michael about Mr Tahh first and then he himself would take Michael to Mr Tahh and introduce them to each other Michael should go with Mr Umm to meet Mr Tahh Situation 3: Luncheon Date Suun felt hurt because Randy told him a lie Suun wanted to be a close friend with Randy not only at university but also in life, but Randy only wanted to be classmates Randy didn’t decline Suun’ s invitation honestly because he might be afraid the true reason might not be so persuasive Situation 4: Maliyta’ s Party Experience In America, when Americans first meet a person at a party, they socialize with each other , show interest in something often only for politeness They haven’t thought of establishing a friendship with any guest they meet And they not think that Maliyta’s invitation is sincere Moreover, they may come to Moliyta’ s house when she insisted and gave them the definite time and date UNIT 5: FAMILY VALUES I WARM-UP Look at the graphs showing the geographic mobility, the size of family, the number of working wives with children in America Give your remarks and compare with Vietnamese families II READING Some main ideas: Child raising - Acculturation, which begins at birth, is the process of teaching new generations of children the customs and values of the parents’ culture How people treat newborns, for example, can be indicative of cultural values - Americans traditionally have held independence and a closely-related value, individualism, in high esteem Parents try to instill these prevailing values in their children 21 - Many children are taught at a very early age to make decisions and be responsible for their actions Often children work for money outside the home as a first step to establishing autonomy Many parents believe that managing money helps children learn responsibility as well as appreciate the value of money Young Adulthood - Upon reaching an appropriate age (18-21 years), children are encouraged, but not forced, to “leave the nest” and begin an independent life After children leave home, they find social relationships and financial support outside the family Parents not arrange marriages for their children, nor children usually ask permission of their parents to get married Romantic love is often the basis for marriage Although children chose their own spouses, they still hope their parents will approve of their choices - Many parents feel that children should make major life decisions by themselves - Coexisting with love between parents and children are the cultural values of self-reliance and independence The Elderly - Societal and familial treatment of the elderly also reflects this independence and individualism Their financial support is often provided by social security or welfare system which decrease dependence on their family Additionally, older people may seek their own friends rather than become too emotionally dependent on their children - There are problems with growing old in the United States Glorification of youth and indifference to the aged have left many older people alienated and alone The Nuclear and the Extended Family - In the United, the nuclear family, which consists of he father, the mother, and the children, is considered “the family” The extended family, common in other cultures, includes grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, and in-laws The distinction between the nuclear and extended family is important because it suggests the extent of family ties and obligations Family Roles The culture imposes set roles upon parents Traditionally, the male has been responsible for financial support of the home and family members The female has often been responsible for emotional support, childraising, and housekeeping However, among some people in parts of the United States, these parental functions are no longer fixed Stability and Change in the Family It is almost impossible to describe a “typical American family” because the United States is such a heterogeneous country Although members of ethnic, racial, or economic groups 22 may assimilate into the educational and employment system of the establishment, they often maintain their cultural heritage within the home - Changes in the American family structure are evidenced by increased rates of separation and divorce These shifts in family relationships may be interpreted as a breakdown or alternatively, as an adaptation of the American family to changing roles, attitudes and values III COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS Answer: a c c a c c c a a 10 b IV VOCABULARY Some new words: - Prevailing (a): most frequent or usual - Instill (v): introduce (ideas, etc.) gradually - Assert (v): make a claim to; declare - Glorification (n): giving glory and honor to; or being given glory and honor - Alienated (a) (feel) shut out from the society - Segment (n): division or section - Communal (a): of or for a community - Residence (n): place where one lives - Impose (v): lay or place a tax, duty, etc on; force sth on sb - Prescribe (v): advise or order the use of; say, with authority, what course of action is to be followed - Heterogeneous (a): made up of different kinds - Assimilate (v): absorb, eg ideas, knowledge; (allow people to) become part of another social group or state - Crumble (v): break, rub, or fall into very small pieces - to cut the cord: be independent of one’s parents - to be tied to mother’ s apron strings: be dependent on the mother - Breadwinner (n): person who works to support a family - Close-knit family : closely- united family Vocabulary Exercises A Fill- in generation prevailing instilled self-reliant manager career assert autonomous 23 B Multiple Choice c b a 4.a c d c b d C Word Forms a imposed b imposing c imposition a prescriptions b prescribed c to prescribe a preserved b preservatives c preservation a professional b profession c professionally D Definitions heritage inevitable trends racial adapt assimilate breakdown shifted heterogeneous 10 estimated E Matching Retirement b convenience d Distinguishing f residence c Borrow g labor a Crumbling e F Phrases and Expressions a c c c a a a c V CONVERSATIONAL ACTIVITIES A A case study: Youth and the Family Discuss: The problems between Carol and her parents were that they have different opinions about how to choose a boyfriend and Carol did not want to stop seeing Bill - I think both Carol and her parents have reasonable thoughts Carol liked Bill because he was hard-working and he was a nice guy; while her parents did not like Bill because he did not have college education and had different family background (his parents were farmers whereas Carol’s parents were professors.) D Division of Labor The following is only the suggested answer You can give the answer of your own Father Mother Child Grandparents (or other relative) √ √ Financial support √ √ Keeping the family accounts 24 Shopping for food Cooking dinner Housekeeping Home repairs Punishing the children Disciplining the children Major family decisions Buying a car Moving to a new home Children’s education Selecting a spouse for a child Vacations Divorce √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ Supplementary Vocabulary and Phrases - matriarchy (n): social organization in which mothers are the heads of families matriarchal (a) - patriarch (n): male head of a family or tribe patriarchal (a): of or like a patriarch - puberty (n): stage at which a person becomes physically able to become parent; maturing of the sexual functions - Adolescence (n): period of life between childhood and maturity; growth during this period - Juvenile (n): young person UNIT 6: EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDES I WARM-UP - Look at the picture in your book What place is it? - How did you feel when you first registered to a university? What did you have to do? Have you ever studied in a foreign country? 25 Do you think that educational systems are the same among countries? II READING Some main ideas - At American universities during the first week of each quarter or semester, students have many things to do: registering for classes, becoming familiar with the buildings on campus, buying books, adding and dropping classes, and paying fees This is also the time for them to anticipate what they will later encounter in the classroom - International students, accustomed to their countries’ educational expectations, must adapt to new classroom norms in a foreign college or university It is not always easy to understand a new educational system Diversity in Education There are considerable variety in university classrooms in the United States Because of diverse teaching methods and non-standardized curricula, no two courses are identical Nevertheless, there are shared features in American college and university classrooms Active Participation - Participation in the classroom is not only accepted but also expected of the student in many courses Some professors base part of the final grade on the student’s oral participation - A professor’s teaching style is another factor that determines the degree and type of student’s participation The Teacher - Student Relationship - Many instructors believe that an informal, relaxed classroom environment is conducive to learning and innovation It is not uncommon for students to have easygoing and friendly relationships with their professors However, no matter how egalitarian professors would like to be, they still are in a position of authority - Professors may establish social relationships with students outside the classroom, but in the classroom, they maintain the instructor’s role Professors have several roles in relation to students: the may be counselors and friends as well as teachers Students must realize that when a teacher’s role changes, they must appropriately adapt their behavior and attitudes Independent Learning - Many teachers believe that the responsibility for learning lies with the student - The ideal student is considered to be one who is motivated to learn for the sake of learning, not the one interested only in getting high grades - When research is assigned, the professor expects the student to take the initiative and to complete the assignment with minimal guidance 26 ... acquaintances companion formulate consoled segregate esteem B Multiple Choice d c 3.d 4. a c d a b d 10 c 11 d 12 a 13 a C Words in Sentences Being faithful to one’s spouse is one precious characteristic... 20 - Mona’s culture is quite different from American culture - In Mona’s culture, a girl may not go to a man’s house perhaps He might have invited her to a restaurant or a canteen Situation 2: ... United States is such a heterogeneous country Although members of ethnic, racial, or economic groups 22 may assimilate into the educational and employment system of the establishment, they often maintain
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