KEEPING AN EYE ON THE SITTER

Một phần của tài liệu Heidi murkoff sharon mazel arlene eisenbe hathaway what to expect the first year (v5 0) (Trang 331 - 335)

Do you ever wonder what really goes on when you’re not at home? Does the sitter spend all day providing your baby with loving, nurturing care, or talking on the phone and watching soaps? Does she coo, cuddle, and dote on your infant, or leave him or her strapped in an infant seat or crying in the crib? Does she follow your instructions to the letter, or throw them out the window the moment you’re out the door? Is she the Mary Pop-pins you hoped you hired, or the baby-sitter nightmares are made of—or more likely somewhere in between?

To make sure the sitter they’ve chosen is close to everything they thought she is, or to determine if she’s far from it (especially if some red flags have been raised), more and more parents are turning to so-called “nanny cams”—hidden video surveillance to watch those who are watching their children. If you’re considering installing such a system, consider the

following first:

The equipment. You can either buy or rent cameras, or hire a service that will set up an elaborate surveillance system throughout your home. The least expensive option—a single camera hidden in a room your baby and the sitter are likely to spend the most time in—can provide you with a glimpse of what goes on while you’re away, but not a full picture

(abuse or neglect might be occurring in a different room, for instance). A wireless camera hidden inside of a stuffed animal is more expensive but is also more inconspicuous, and since it can be moved from room to room, you’ll be able to view different rooms on different days. A system that monitors the entire home will obviously offer the clearest picture of your baby’s care but is much more expensive.

Keep in mind, too, that how well the surveillance works will depend on how well you survey it. You’ll need to be committed to taping at least several days a week (daily would be best) and watching the tapes regularly, otherwise you might not catch abuse or neglect until days after it occurs.

Your rights—and your nanny’s. Laws regarding covert videotaping vary from state to state, though in most cases it’s considered legal to videotape a sitter at work in your own home without her knowledge. Your equipment supplier should be able to inform you about the legal considerations in your state. The ethical issues are another matter—and very much open for debate. Some parents feel that nanny cams are an invasion of the sitter’s privacy;

others feel that it’s the best investment they can make for the safety of their child.

Your motivation. If you’re just eager for some peace of mind, a nanny cam might just buy it.

On the other hand, if you’re already feeling uncomfortable enough about the childcare provider you’ve hired that you’re compelled to spy on her with a nanny cam, perhaps that person shouldn’t be in your home at all. In that case, you might be wiser to trust your instincts, save your money, and find your baby a sitter you have confidence in.

If you do decide to install a nanny cam, don’t use it as a way of screening prospective childcare providers. Any baby-sitter should be thoroughly prescreened before she’s left home alone with your baby.

If everything and everyone seems to be fine except you (you’re anxious every time you leave your baby, you’re miserable while you’re away, you keep looking for fault in a sitter who’s doing a good job), it’s possible that it’s the arrangement, not the sitter, that isn’t working out. Rather than subjecting your baby to a series of sitters (if, from your point of view, the right full-time sitter seems not to have been born yet), perhaps you should reconsider your decision to go back to work.

GROUP DAY CARE

A good day-care program can offer some significant advantages. In the best of them, trained personnel provide a well-organized program specifically geared to a baby’s development and growth, as well as opportunities for play and learning with other babies and children. Because such facilities are not dependent on one person, as in-home care is, there is generally no crisis if a teacher is sick or leaves, though the baby may have to adjust to a new one. And in communities where day-care services are

licensed, there may be safety, health, and in some cases even educational monitoring of the program.

It is also usually more affordable than in-home care, making it not only the best option but also the only option for many parents.

The disadvantages for babies, however, can also be significant. First of all, not all programs are equally good. Even in a good one, care is less individualized than it is in a baby’s own home, there are more children per caregiver, and teacher turnover may be high. There is less flexibility in

scheduling than in a more informal setting, and if the center follows a public school calendar, it may be closed on holidays when you’re working. The cost, though typically less expensive than good in- home care, is still usually fairly high, unless subsidized by government or private sources (as in corporate day care). Possibly the greatest disadvantage is the increased rate of infection among children in day-care situations. Since many employed parents don’t have another option when their children have colds and other minor ills, they often send them to the center anyway—which is why babies who attend them end up with more than their share of ear infections and other bugs.

Certainly, there are some excellent day-care facilities; the trick may be to find such a facility in your area that you can afford and that has space for your baby.

WHERE TO LOOK

You can get the names of local day-care facilities (which may be nonprofit, cooperative, or for profit) through recommendations from friends whose parenting style is similar to yours by calling the state regulatory agency (the state health or education department should be able to refer you), or by asking at your local community center or house of worship. You can also ask your baby’s doctor for a

suggestion or check the phone book or a local parenting newspaper for childcare referral services or day-care centers themselves. Once you have a few possibilities, you’ll need to start evaluating them.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Day-care centers range in quality from top-of-the-line to bottom-of-the-barrel, with most falling in the mediocre middle. If you’ll accept only the best for your baby, you’ll have to examine every aspect of each possibility. Look for:

Licensing. Most states license day-care facilities, checking them for sanitation and safety but not for the quality of care. Some states, however, don’t even have adequate fire and sanitation regulations.

(Check with your local fire and health departments if you have any questions.) Still, a license does provide some safeguards.

A trained and experienced staff. The “head” teachers, at least, should have degrees in early

childhood education; the entire staff should be experienced in caring for infants. Too often, because of the low pay, day-care workers are people who are in the job because they are qualified for nothing else; in that case, it’s likely they aren’t qualified for child care, either. The staff turnover should be low; if there are several new teachers each year, beware.

A healthy and safe staff. Ask if all childcare workers have had complete medical checkups, including a TB test, and thorough background checks.

A good teacher-to-baby ratio. There should be at least one staff person for every three infants. If there are fewer, a crying baby may have to wait until someone is free to meet his or her needs.

Moderate size. A huge day-care facility might be less well supervised and operated than a smaller one—though there are exceptions to this rule. Also, the more children, the more chance for the spread of illnesses. Whatever the size of the facility, there should be adequate space for each child. Crowded rooms are a sign of an inadequate program.

Separation of age groups. Infants under one year should not be mixed with toddlers and older children, for safety, health, attention, and development issues.

A loving atmosphere. The staff should seem to genuinely like children and caring for them. Children should look happy, alert, and clean. Be sure to visit the facility unannounced in the middle or toward the end of the day, when you will get a more accurate picture of what the center is like than you would first thing in the morning. (Be wary of any program that does not allow unannounced parent visits.) A stimulating atmosphere. Even a two-month-old can benefit from a stimulating atmosphere, one where there is plenty of interaction—both verbal and physical—with caregivers, and where age- appropriate toys are available. As children become older and developmentally advanced, there

should be plenty of appropriate toys to play with, as well as exposure to books, music, and the out-of- doors. The best programs include occasional “field trips”: three to six children along with one or two teachers go to the supermarket, the mall, or other places a baby might go with a stay-at-home parent.

Parent involvement. Are parents invited to participate in the program in some way; is there a parent board that makes policy?

A compatible philosophy. Are you comfortable with the day-care center’s philosophy—

educationally, religiously, ideologically?

Adequate opportunities for rest. Most infants, in day care or at home, still take a lot of naps. There should be a quiet area for such napping in individual cribs, and children should be able to nap

according to their own schedules—not the school’s.

Security. The doors to the facility should be kept locked during operating hours, and there should be other security measures in place (a parent or visitor sign-in sheet, someone monitoring the door, requesting ID when necessary). The center should also have a system in place for pickups that protects children (only those on a list pre-approved by you should be able to pick up your child).

Strict health and sanitation rules. In your own home, you needn’t be concerned about your baby putting everything in his or her mouth; in a day-care center, with a convergence of children, each with his or her own set of germs, you should be. Day-care centers can become a focus for the spread of many intestinal and upper respiratory illnesses. To minimize germ spreading and safeguard the health of the children, a well-run day-care center will have a medical consultant and a written policy that includes:

Caregivers must wash hands (with liquid soap) thoroughly after changing diapers or don a fresh pair of disposable gloves for each change. Hands should also be washed after helping children use the toilet, wiping runny noses or handling children with colds, and before feedings.

Diapering and food preparation areas must be entirely separate, and each should be cleaned after every use.

Diapers should be disposed of in a covered container, out of the reach of children.

Toys must be rinsed with a sanitizing solution between handling by different children, or a separate box of toys must be kept for each child.

Một phần của tài liệu Heidi murkoff sharon mazel arlene eisenbe hathaway what to expect the first year (v5 0) (Trang 331 - 335)

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