A study of textual equivalence in dang thuy trams diary and its translation version = phân tích phép dịch tương đương ở cấp độ văn bản trong nhật ký đặng thuỳ trâm và bản dịch của nó

Vinh university Foreign languages department *** A study of textual equivalence in Dang thuy tram’s diary and its translation version (phân tích phép dịch t-ơng đ-ơng cấp độ văn nhật kí đặng thùy trâm dịch nó) graduation thesis field: linguistics Student: Nguyễn Thị ánh Nguyệt Supervisor: Lê Thị Thúy Hà, M.A Vinh, 2008 Vinh university Foreign languages department *** Nguyễn Thị ánh Nguyệt A study of textual equivalence in Dang thuy tram’s diary and its translation version (phân tích phép dịch t-ơng đ-ơng cấp độ văn nhật kí đặng thùy trâm dịch nó) graduation thesis field: linguistics Vinh, 2008 Part I: Introduction Rationale of the study Cohesion is the grammatical and lexical relationship between different elements in a text which creates the link, the unity among various parts of a text These relations themselves organize a text This is the reason why cohesion gained a great deal of concern from applied liguists Callow states that “each language has its own pattern to convey the interrelationships of persons and events, in no language may these patterns be ignored, if the translation is tobe understood by its readers”(cited in Baker, 1992, p.180) Additionally, many other applied linguists also emphasize the vital character of cohesion to translation Halliday and Hasan have pointed out various categories of cohesion and it is believable that those outlined cohesive devices are common to nearly all of languages Infact, the way of establishing pattern of cohesive devices vary considerably across languages and even within unlike regions of the same language It is Baker who states that “different languages have different preferences for using specific devices more frequently than others or in specific combination which may not correspond to English pattern of cohesion” (1992, p.21) Up to now, there have been some works of analysing and contrasting cohesion between English and Vietnamese The aim of these works is to point out the similarities and differences between the two languages in terms of cohesive devices However, translation point of view to matter appears to have fresh idea and contributions that are unlike with what has been mentioned It is the reason that stimulates me to conduct this thesis Dang Thuy Tram’s diary is one of the well-known literary works because of its circumstance of birth as well as its profound content The diary was selected and translated into English by the Vietnam Archive at Texas Tech University The story tells us about the feeling, emotion, thoughts of the author of the book: Dang Thuy Tram - a warrior, a doctor as well in the revolutionary life The life was shown in the diary was rather hard and complex as a result of war, destruction of intruders Besides the hardess, there still exists a romantic view of a girl falling in love which is contrast with what love is expressed in the peaceful time The book caught a numbers of domestic readers and foreigners, too The interest in cohesion devices in the original and in the translatin text has give me an inspiration to the study on Dang Thuy Tram’s diary The main point in this thesis is the textual equipvalence between the source and the target language text Aims of the study The aims of the thesis are: - To provide a knowledge of translation in terms of cohesive devices - To study textual equivalence between the source and the target language text - To give some statistic and description of cohesive devices used in specific situation - To suggest some practical applications for teaching and learning of translation as well as teaching and learning of English in general and cohesion in particular Scope of the study This study focuses on the textual equivalence between the source Dang Thuy Tram’s diary and the translation version More specifically, the study is confined to cohesion only Another important aspect of textual equivalence namely thematic and information structures will be out of the scope of the study and would be for further research The ground for making comparison in this study is the system of cohesive markers suggested by Diep Quang Ban (2005) and Halliday and Hasan (1976) and the definition equivalence proposed by Baker (1992) Research question In order to achieve the purpose of the study, here are the research questions: - Is the model of cohesion proposed by Ban common to Halliday and Hasan - What kind of cohesive markers are preferred in Dang Thuy Tram’s diary and by the translator in English translation Which one is the most popular? - To what extent are the originals and the translations textually equivalent Method of the study - The study is carried out with the quantitative method with collecting and analysing data so as to answer the research questions - Review of published related theories - Analysis and synthesis of the selected data Design of the study Part 1: Introduction states the reasons for choosing the topic, the aim, its scope, research question and method of the study Part 2: Development consists of two chapters Chapter 1: Theoretical background reviews the theoretical background of the study, including cohesion, cohesion and coherence, type of cohesion, translation theory, Dang Thuy Tram and her diary Chapter 2: Identification of textual markers in the original text Chapter 3: Treatment of textual markers in the translation version Part 3: Conclusion summarizes the finding of the thesis, giving concluding remarks Part II: Development Chapter 1: Theoretical Background 1.1 Some related concepts of discourse analysis 1.1.1 Cohesion According to Ban (2005) cohesion is in the semantic relationship between two linguistic elements lying in two sentences or in two clauses of a sentence in which they explain meaning to each other In other words, cohesion is the semantic relationship in which if we want to understand the specific meaning of this element, we must base on the meaning of another, and from that foundation two sentences containing them link to each other [1:1] Càng nghiên cứu Nguyễn Trãi, chúng ta, không chúng ta, bạn nước vậy, thấy Nguyễn Trãi lớn lên gần gũi chúng ta, gần gũi với thời đại Đó điều quý báu nhân vật lịch sử (Phạm Văn Đồng) Đó in the second sentence causes ambiguity because if the audience wants to make sense of its meaning, they must base on the first sentence which specifies what means This meaning-explanation relation makes the second share unity and link with the first Another example: [1:2] Cụ Hải Nam, vừa đựoc thưởng bội tinh, tiệc tùng ngày đêm Chung quanh nức tiếng đồn Người ta nói ăn uống đến vạn đồng, khách toàn đến xe hơi, xác pháo ngập sân, cô đầu tất bốn mươi cô, […] (Nam Cao) tiệc tùng in the first sentence and ăn uống in the third sentence are synonymous because they explain meaning to each other Basing on that, the three sentences link to each other It seems that Ban’s idea has similarity in common with Halliday and Hasan Let’s see Halliday and Hasan states that cohesion refers to sematic relation It appears where “the interpretation of some elements in the discourse is dependent on that of another The one presupposes the other, in the sense that it can not be effectively decoded except by recourse to it” (1976, p 4) At that time, the existence of cohesion appears, one is presupposing and the other is presupposed Here is the example illustrating the definition: [1:3] Clare loves potatoes She was born in Ireland (Discourse analysis) It can be seen clearly that she in the second sentence refers to Clare in the first one Therefore the word she creates the cohesion in the text and the two sentences combine together which leads to unity As to Halliday and Hasan (1976), cohesion is carried out between sentences thanks to the following regulation: the grammatical resources like reference, ellipsis, sustitution and conjunction Similarly, Professor Diep Quang Ban thinks that the linkage between this sentence with another is carried out thanks to: - reference - substitution - ellipsis - conjunction - lexical cohesion consists of sub-patterns: + repetition + synonymy, superodinate, hyponymy, metonymy and antonymy + collocation Generally speaking, Vietnamese and English have many similarities in common in the aspect of cohesion view However, the way they have been shown in the work of literary of Dang Thuy Tram will vary from its translation version 1.1.2 Cohesion and coherence Coherence is something created by the reader in the act of reading the text Coherence is the feeling that a text sticks together, that it makes sense and is not a jumble of sentences Nguyen Hoa (2000, p 23) proves that “Basically, cohesion refers to the formal relationship that causes text to cohere or stick together It is indicated by grammatical, logical relationship found among or between the sentences of a text” Baker (1992) thinks that cohesion is the network of surface relations which links words and expression in a text and coherence is the network of conceptual relation which underline the surface text Hoey gives the differences between cohesion and coherence as follows: “cohesion is the objective capable in principle of automatic recognition, while coherence is subjective and judgements concerning it may vary from readers to readers” (cited in Baker, 1992, p 218) Thus cohesion is only a guide to coherence While cohesion is in the text, coherence is in the reader or speakers’ mind Whereas grammatical, lexical links are identified in cohesion, coherence is the feeling that the text makes sense Aditionally, coherence is the duty of readers “Coherence refers to the type of semantic of rhetorical relationships that underline texts” (Nguyen Hoa, 2000, p 23) He extracted idea of Palmer (1983): “Coherence refers to the rhetorical devices, to ways of writing ad speaking that bring about order and unity and emphasis” Coherence can be obtained from the root of relevance, the co-operative principle, the general thing shared on the background knowledge between participants in speech event and so does structure of discourse [1:4] Clare loves potatoes She was born in Ireland (Discourse Analysis) This sentence is cohesive: Clare and she but it can be coherence if the readers already know the typical association between Irish and loving potatoes In summarize, cohesion can be understood as means to indicate coherence but it is completely wrong when whoever considers thay are one Between them, there not exists a one-to-one correspondence ( Nguyen Hoa, 2000 ) [3:5] A: My car’s broken down B: There’a garage down there From the above example, cohesion is missing, however, the readers can get the meaning thanks to its coherence The garage is the place where people have their car, motobike repaired that have broken down 1.1.3 Type of cohesion in Vietnamese Vietnamese is like other languages, the link between this sentence to another is the beginning of the following regulation: reference, substitution, ellipsis, conjucntion and lexical cohesion 1.1.3.1 Reference As Ban indicated (2005, p.356) reference is in the semantic relationship, that means the role of referential element in terms of grammar is not paid attention to Reference comes into being when an unidentified element is understood by means of identified element in another sentence As a result, the link is established between two sentences Noticeably, the element which has unidentified meaning is called presupposed element, in contrast, the element which has identified meaning is called presupposing one In short, reference starts from the unidentified linguistic element in a sentence which is explained by another identified linguistic one in another sentence As a result of it, two sentences stick together [1:6] Thứ cười gượng khơng nói Đêm hơm y thức khuya (Nam Cao) In this example, Thứ is a concrete linguistic element which implies a name of a man and is considered as explaining element, whereas y is a noun which is not identified to any person It is only a singular third personal pronoun Two sentences stick together thanks to cohesive device: reference There are types of reference in Vietnamese: personal reference, demonstrative reference, comparative reference Personal reference is the way of using personal pronoun (the 1st, the 2nd, the 3rd) acting as an unidentified in relation with identified in another sentence [1:7 ] Thứ ngồi trầm ngâm vẻ quen thuộc y San khe khẽ cười vô cớ Họ sợ tỏ người khó tính (Nam Cao) Họ has ambiguity and indefinite meaning, the reader not know what the word refers to By basing on the previous sentence, we can make sense and achieve the meaning of the whole sentence Similarly, in the following example, họ and are personal pronoun, cậu is kinship term used as a personal pronoun By referring back to the first sentence reader can see cậu is Thứ and San, and refers to Mơ [1:8] Thứ San cho việc ép Mô xếp chỗ ăn, chỗ cho họ chuyện đùa Không ngờ Mô lại để ý nhiều Cố nhiên muốn tận tâm với hai cậu mà thơi Cịn lợi riêng (Nam Cao) In the above example, họ and are personal pronoun, cậu is kinship term used as a personal pronoun By referring back to the previous sentence, we can see cậu indicates Thứ and San, and Mộ in the first sentence Nó in shows the possessive relation [1:9] Rõ ràng trống choai hết tuổi bé bỏng thơ ngây Chú chẳng cịn phải quấn qt quanh chân mẹ (Hải Hồ) In this example, is kinship term which is used which is used as personal pronoun and in this situation it refers to an animal, a kind of poultry Nó itself is indefinite The following example shows the pronoun referring to an entity, a thing not a animal, not human beings: [1:10] Bước vào cổng thôn Đồi, thấy nhà ơng Nghị Quế Nó đám bung xung nhọn tháp, hùng dũng úp đồn bịch vựa đồ sộ, dường phơ nhà thóc để hàng bốn năm mùa Nó lũ đống rơm, đống rạ lớn trái núi, chen đứng bên cạnh mít, sung, dường khoe ông chủ cày cấy tới trăm mẫu (Ngô Tất Tố) The following table will show personal address element which are mosly used: Person The Singular form Plural form Note 1st Tơi, tao, tớ, mình, Chúng tơi, chúng tao, Mình, ta: are used in (speaker) ta chúng tớ (not including), both singular and chúng mình, plural form depend on (Included) The 2nd Mày, mi (personal) particular situation Chúng, bay, bọn mày, Mi: The Middle, bay: bọn bay, bọn mi The Middle and the South The 3rd Nó, hắn, y, thị Chúng, chúng nó, bọn Nó: referring to nó, bọn chúng nó, bọn human beings animal, thing Hắn: mainly referring to men Thị: only used for women who is in youth Table 1.1: Personal address elements which are mostly used In order to make it easy to categorize, the words which are used for cohesive marker will be in personal reference such as: đó, belongs to substitution In theory , those words which are used as cohesive markers can be used as substitution when we use to replace a Noun, Noun phrase, a clause In this situation we can replace by 10 generally tends to base heavily on prominal reference in tracing participants, entities, events, etc There is no kinship term in English which are suitable to Vietnamese one I and You themselves not carry any traits of Vietnamese words such as: social status, age, sex, attitude which on the contrary are present in Vietnamese In a research of address forms using kinship terms of Wardhaugh (1986), he also makes a remark that in any socail relationship, Vietnamese people tend to identify themselves and their interlocutors as well as take into consideration such factors as status power, age, sex, etc to select proper address term Basing on this explanation, the text receiver can facilitate the understanding of translation text when a large number of kinship terms are omitted and replaced by personal pronoun It is not the translator who are thought tobe accused of this consequence, it is due to the undeniable fact of English stock of vocabulary [3:1]… Và buổi cuối nằm cánh tay chị Phượng, nghe lời dặn lại lặng n khơng nói, giọt nước mắt âm ấm chảy mặt rơi sang mặt chị (p 39,40) … This last time lying arm in arm with Phuong, listening quietly to her talk, warm tears ran down to her face and droppepd to her face (p 4) [3:2]… Trong số người hy sinh có anh Đáo, người Huyện đội trưởng Đức Phổ Mình quen anh từ ngày đầu bước chân Đức Phổ, anh nói sâu sắc, sát người, sát việc có nhiều uy tín quần chúng (p 180) … Dao, the Hamlet Group leader of Duc Pho was one of those killed He was not that talkative, but he got his meaning across, understood people, understood the work, and was very much admired (p 64) It is seen from the examples that the occurrence of chị, anh are replaced by possessive adjective her and personal pronoun he There is no kinship term equipvalent Chị and anh here are used to express respect and intimacy among familiar people who are living together Apparently, in the target language text, the way of addressing her and he shows no sign of attitude or feelings of the author to the beloved surrounding her It is also the same with other situations, when in the Vietnamese text, the personal reference is aimed to show the role of person who she means lower than her and younger than her Whereas, the corresponding reference is English is not like that, only still third personal reference Looking at the following examples: 34 [3:3]… Đến trưa, Tẩn đứng cảnh giới mệt, ngồi xuống cạnh kể lại cảnh càn qt phía địch diễn (p.161) …It was noon already and Tan stood quard though he seemed tired He sat down next to me to tell me about the enemy’s snooping up operation (p 55) To the entity is a thing, both Vietnamese and English make proper use of personal reference Most of them are transferred to third personal pronoun Here are some specific examples: [3:4] Ai muốn động viên thân động viên đồng chí mà có phút lo âu lên rõ rệt đằng sau bóng dáng bi quan (p 158) Everyone encourages themselves and their comrades but still there is worry on their faces and behind faces: it seems they are shadowed with sorrow (p 54) [3:5] Trong bóng tối nhận thấy băn khoăn hai người bệnh nhân đangnói chuyện với Hình họ thấy im lăng nặng nề đẫm nước mắt (p 44) In the dark I still see the two patients talking to me It seems they understand the heavy calm about me is filled with tears (p 6) In the two above examples the third personal on singular and plural are transformed in to their and they There no special change All in all, whenever there is occurrence of referring to thing and họ referring to a group of people, transition is no changed and it reflects exactly thanks to the equivalence between two languages As a result, cohesionis established 3.1.2 Treatment of demonstrative reference Together with personal reference, demonstrative is also a resource that the writer tend to use frequently in creating textuality in the original story Of all the total cohesive markers, demonstrative reference accounts for 20,1 % This is a remarkable figure because thanks to this data, demonstrative item ranks secondly after repetition However, what it is shown in the English version is only a half of that number: 91 times in comparison with 194 times Needless to say, it is a low percentage Most of demonstrative reference are used in the original text is này, ấy, and correspondent demonstrative reference in the target language is the, this, these, that, those These demonstrative words in English are classified into definite article such as in these examples: [3:6] Mấy hôm buồn, thư, lời nói, hành động tỏ lịng thương mến thiết tha đến với Nhưng tình thương lại mồi lửa châm vào đống củi khác khô từ lâu (p.45) 35 These few days are very sad Every day all the letters arrive, all the words, all the actions showing that they love me and like me But that kind of life is like a flame lighting dry wood (p 6) The highlight relation which is shown in using demontrative reference is anaphoric reference What is mentioned in the sentences holding demonstrative words does not resistance to make sense of the whole sentence Only by referring back to the previous information will every ambigous piece of information be revealed [3:7] Không, chiều gió lạnh lịng lạnh khơng phải thiếu người thân yêu mà thiếu nhiều người thân yêu Những người ư? (p 179) No, this afternoon the wind is cold and my heart is cold not because I’m not with my beloved, but because I miss all those other people I care for Who are these peole? (p 21) [3:8] Kim sang, ngồi nhìn đơi mắt Kim chớp lia giọt nước mắt chực trào khỏi mi mắt, hiểu lịng gái (p 243) Kim arrived: I looked into her tear filled eyes and understood her heart (p 93) There is no sign of equivalent to cô gái Her heart is reference by means of using possessive adjective It is because languages differ from each other from words, grammar and semantic In the taget language sentence, the author does not want to cause complexity and he also wants to bring a concord with phrase her tear ealier, therefore the best solution to this problem is using her heart Moreover, although in English there exists demonstrative reference systems in cluding circumstance like demonstrative referring to place: here, there and one referring to time: now and then By contrast, Vietnamese does not have Therefore, there is no need to make a list of comparison It is undeniable that the use of demonstrative of near or far scale sometimes depends on the way of thinking of each language For Vietnamese people, what happens or belongs to the past is considered tobe “far”, this means basing on time frame This is not as the same as that of English people 3.1.3 Treatment of comparative Following the narrative stylistic, not description form , there are not many cases of comparison in Dang Thuy Tram’s diary, the author seems not to prefer to employ it so they only seize 19 times in all and times in English text Let’s consider the following example: 36 [3:9] Cuộc chiến tranh lan rộng dải đất Đơng Dương Thằng chó đểu Nick xơn liều lĩnh điên cuồng mở rộng thêm chiến Chúng ta phải đương đầu với khó khăn ghê gớm (p.241) The War spreads farther across Indochina The dog Nixon is foolish and crazy as he widens the war We will have to cope with very difficult circumstances (p 93) Apparently, Thuy Tram’s implication is to emphasize the difficulty when Nixon has been spreading the war This means she and many soldiers will have to suffer from another obstacle which is more serious and which is brought about by Nixon Referential relation in Vietnamese is anaphora In fact, the phrase khó khăn ghê gớm is the expansion of war of Nixon Meanwhile, the translator does not use any trait of comparative, in stead they say very difficult circumstance Actually, that way of writing is completely reasonable If not following the present sentence, the translator will have to transfer like this: a more difficult circumstance However, it will cause the audience some confusion because if the translator immitate what is present in the original, he should not use independent sentences such as in the above example It is advisable if he writes: That explains why the rate of occurrence decreases noticeably - nearly a half 3.2 Treatment of ellipsis If reference are more typical in narrative, ellipsis is more characteristicly found in dialogue, where the typical sequence is based on pairs, triads or longer structures, that are related last so much by ideational as by interpersonal meaning request -> assent, question -> answer and so on… That is to say, both ellipsis and substitution tend tobe associated with dialogue This has the same meaning with the rare exploitation of this resource across the diary Many things are expresses in the diary but according to the owner’s feeling because the writer is also the reader As a result, a diary follows the monologue form, not dialogue Therefore, it is not surprising when ellipsis is of times in data analized from the beginning to the end, taking very small rate 0,6% The fooling table will give us the propotion of treatment of ellipsis in both Vietnamese and English translation Vietnamese English times times 0,6% 0,1% Table 3.2: Treatment of ellipsis in Vietnamese and in English 37 Most of cases which are ellided belongs to ellipsis of word in Vietnamese and those words stand after transitive verb That is why when being transferred from to English It is impossible to remove these words, it causes mistakes and misunderstading also The example below can illustrate this fact: [3:10]… Một bật lửa có khắc tên cạnh tên người đồng chí thân yêu Anh Đáo đưa cho hỏi khắc Mình cười vơ tư trả lại (0) cho anh… (p 170) … An American lighter has my name described on it next to the name of a beloved comrade Dao handed it to me and asked who was it from? I smile without thinking, and then returning it to him (p 60) The word which was omitted in the original text is nó, and the whole full sentence should be: Mình cười vơ tư trả lại cho anh Nevertheless, it is not important for such sufficient using Not like that, the writer does not make any influence on the sense of the sentence, because not writing fully but everyone can still achieve full meaning It is acceptable in Vietnamese grammar On the contrary, it is not acceptable in English grammar Return in this case is a transitive verb and it really needs an object following, it is compulsory in any circumstances That is the reason why there is no sign of ellipsis here We can easily see, most of ellipsis in the original text are in the above fact, so it makes the translator have no other choice but manipulate another way to make reproduction Although, the number of occurrence in English decreases in comparison with that in Vietnamese, it does not make cohesion in English version decrease In opposite, it enhances and satisfies the specification and exactness in both meaning and grammar Almost nearly all ellipsis is not retained their original form in the translation There is only one case which ellipsis is retained in the English version [3:11]… Dù anh Thiết, dù Hào, Nghinh… ai cảm thương san sẻ với mình, không muốn (0) (p 37) … Even Thiet, hao, Nghinh… and everyone else they all agree with me and share my feelings, but I still don’t want them to (0) (p 142) 3.3 Treatment of substitution It can be said that, subsitution also seize a remarkable figures in the originals beside repetition and demonstrative reference However, unlike the source language text, the target language one only accounts for 35 times compared with 123 times in Vietnamese as in the table below: 38 Vietnamese English 123 times 35 times 12,7% 6,3 % Table 3.3: Treatment of substitution in Vietnamese and in English The consequence of this problem can be explained the same as that in ellipsis As we have known, only when there is dialogue will substitution arrous Another reason that I would like to add is: It is considered substitution in Vietnamese when there is the occurrence of đó, vậy, standing indepently But it is not the same in English It is acknowleged that the most popular words which represents substitution are: so, do, another (other) Due to that undeniable cause that create a big difference in the figure of statis In this book is mostly exploited by the author and the equipvalent of its is that or these Futhermore, that or these plus Noun belongs to demonstrative adjective, if that or these stand independently at the beginning they are not referred to substitution, it is demonstrative pronoun Look at the following example: [3:14] … Đó m ùa hè Hà Nội, đêm tháng Bảy êm dịu ôm trùm lấy không gian… (p 58) … That was a summer in Ha Noi, when the July night had a gentle air… (p 12) [3:15]… Cuộc đấu tranh đâu phải cá nhân với nhóm người khác mà đấu tranh hai luồng tư tưởng lạc hậu tiến (p 53) … This struggle is not only between two persons, or between groups of person but it is the struggle between two ideas to improve or to hold back (p 10) It is the clause that is preferred tobe substituted than nominal verbal group There is only one correspondence between Vietnamese and English substitution That is so in the translation text makes equipvalence with in [3:16] example [3:16]… Nếu M nói quan hệ chúng ta, M chưa phạm sai lầm Th Nếu thì… đời M nhỉ? (p 56) … If you said that in our relationship you did nothing wrong to me, and if that is so then what will life be like? (p 11) So is employed here in order to substitution is established What so means in the whole sentence is if that is nothing wrong to me So is in replacement with a clause 39 3.4 Treatment of conjunction As I stated in chapter 3, the story employs a very large number of conjunction with 223 times, taking 23% in comparison with the total cohesive marker figures And among the four sub-types of conjunction (addition – adversative – temporality - cause/ effect) Adversative conjunction is the most employed with 127 times, seizing 13,1% In the translation text, the translator keeps on maitaining the approximately high number Specifically, conjunction’s time of occurrence is 178, accounting for 32, 36% and adversative is 119 times, seizing 21,6% The following table will specify what I have stated Addition 63 (6,5%) 37(6,5%) Adversative 127 (13,1%) 119 (21,6%) Temporal (0,3%) (0,5%) Cause- effect 30 (3,1%) 20 (3,6%) Total 223 (23%) 178 (32,26%) Table 3.4: Treatment of conjunction in Vietnamese and in English Conjunction can be said tobe the point where the source language text and the target ones show least difference as compared to other sources of cohesion By means of using conjunction, the writer wants the reader to relate what has been said before to what is going on next There is not many differencies between the source and the target text It seems that if there is any adjustments the translator makes in translating conjunction, the writer’s intention may be changed The data gained from the translation shows a nearly approximate number of conjunctive relations to those in the source text, although there is still some similarities Generally speaking, the translator has a tendency to go line by line with the writers, attempting to reproduce the same patterns of conjunction the the original ones as possible and make as few adjustment as possible For this reason, the equivalence of adversative, time and cause effect gained is nearly the same as they are in the source text: 119 times ( compared to 127 in the source text), ( compared to in the source text), and 20 (compared to 20 in the source text) , respectively These are some examples for illustration: [3:17]… Mình thấy Thuận có phút ngồi lặng yên đăm đăm suy nghĩ khẽ thở dài Nhưng trước mặt người trongmọi lĩnh vực công tác Thuận luôn giữu vẻ hăng say, sôi (p 70) I sometimes feel this morning as he sits there quietly, thinking and sighing, but he faces people and his job with such enthusiasm (p 17) 40 [3:18]… Và gặp ba má, gặp cậu Hiền, gặp anh Biểu tất mọingười thân yêu Bắc (p 48) … And I saw my parents, my uncle Hien, brother Bieu and all the beloved people in the North [3:19] Bây không gặp Thuỳ, thư M viết lại “Sự sống tình u khơng cần có mặt nhau… ” (p 215) Now he has left without meeting me, just like the letter he left for me said: “With a living love there is no need to see each other… ” (p 80) Example [3:18-19] shows the translator’s faithfulness to the original text’s pattern of conjunction by his exact equivalent production The whole diary makes a great use of vì, nhưng, and their equipvalents are: because, but and although However, there are also some adjustments, especially the processing procedure of aditional conjunction These are few and typically identified examples in the translation text [3:20]… Và em ơi, hình ảnh em hình ảnh đứa em trai mà chị đêm ngày thương nhớ thiết tha (p 172) (.) My dear young man, your image is that of the young brother I think about and miss night and day (p 61) In the above example, there is no sigh of transferring “và” However, this is evidence which is attributed to bring nature to the reading of translation though accuracy is some what sacrified 3.5 Treatment of lexical cohesion After analysing, the following table will demonstrate the figures specifically Vietnamese English Repetition 264 (27,3%) 154 (28%) Synonym 14 (1,4%) (0,5%) 11 (0,01%) (0,5%) Antonym 24 (2,4%) 18 (3,2%) Collocation 11 (1,1%) (0,9%) Total 324 (32,21%) 184 (33,1%) Nearsynonym Table 3.4: Treatment of lexical cohesion in Vietnamese and in English 41 3.5.1 Treatment of repetition As discussed, Thuy Tram’s narrative is based on the repetition of images, events and especially word repetition in various fashions This is one of the factor that make the source language text charming to read and simple and easy to understand The data reveals that in terms of lexical cohesion, repetition is employed with the most frequency However, there are a lot of remarkable differences during the time of transferring Although the data from pages in the translation not reach the figure 264 times in the original, it reflects the awareness of translator to attempt to transform it into English The average repetition rate of 264 times in the origin correspondd with 154 times in the translation version So, we can say both exact reproduction and changed one are to repetition A closer look at the reproduction of particular repetition pattern will provide an assessment of their equipvalence to the source language text 3.5.1.1 Repetiton of words Repetition of words over a series of sentences is widespread in the source language text and in the translated version investigated, the translator also try his best to gain a relative phenomenon [3:21] Nắng hanh mà lạnh y hệt năm nào, thấy nắng hanh gieo vàng luống cải thấy lạnh thiếu tình thương người thân yêu (p 221) The sun comes about but it’s still cold like last year The sun shines on the vegestables but I still feel cold because I don’t have the love of the person that I love the most (p 82) Although there is no exact translation from nắng hanh into English, only the sun comes about This also bring a success in trying to express aesthetic effect’s implication Another example: [3:22] Đêm nay, đêm phải sống bơ vơ, khơng có dảm bảo cho […] Đêm có mình, lần kể từn ngày bước chân vào Nam phải suy nghĩ: Địch càn xuống chạy đâu? Nếu chúng tiếp tục tập kích vào đêm phải xử trí (p.173) Tonight was a night I had to stay with no one to care for me […] Tonight I was alone for the first time since coming South: I worry that if the enemy carries out their mooping-up operations where will I go? If they attack here tonight what will I do? (p 61) [3:23] Không hiểu em không viết thư cho mẹ, đằng đẵng ba năm ròng Ba năm… Chắc Thiện khơng thể hiểu mẹ đãthương đến mức Ba năm xa ba năm ác liệt quê nhà (p 183) 42 I don’t know why he never wrote his mother for three years, perhaps he never understood how much his mother missed him Those three years far away from her son were also three terrible years for the country (p 65) It can be said that the transformation of word clusters from Vietnamese to English is very reasonable In example [3:22] two appearances of đêm in two sentences have been transferred into two occurences of tonight Similarly, in example [3:23] three repetition of the Noun phrase ba năm on the origin has been translated into two repetition of three years The preservation of word cluster in the version is surely capable of conveying into the reader the effect that the source language text’s aim at with the use of stream of consciousness: to describe the exact feeling when the author was in the war Since the writer is also the listener and the reader, it is unnecessary for this girl to decorate the language which is merely her merely means of refletion at this time The translator tends to respect the writer’s intention in creating the 3-time repetition in those two examples and in almost the rest of intances in the book Nearly all of the cases of three time repetition when repetition of grammatical structure is shown the exactness is taken notice of and that is the reason why there is no smallest change in translating such type Nevertheless, sometimes the translator also makes a great changes in repetition when it is repeated twice and is the repetition of a word (mostly Noun and Verb) In this sense it is not the translator ability or skill which are blamed for such non-equipvalents but increasing creation in using different words without making any influence on the original and the audience still have the same feeling when reading It brings new aspiration for the book 3.5.1.2 Repetiton of sentence structure It is also sentence structure repetition that makes a pretty differences in the data of the original and the translation text Like the aboved mentioned, repetition types, the repetiton is sentence structure is encountered usually in the source language text The translator personally believes that this has very much to with the triple repetiton of word in single clauses in revealing the rhymth in the girl’s emotion as well as the events described in the diary However he did not follow much to convey what it is in the original 43 [3:24] Vui người quê hương Đức Phổ coi người quê hương họ, chung với họ niềm vui lẫn niềm tự hào mảnh đất anh hùng Vui tất hội nghị dành cho Đức Phổ ưu tiên, cảm tình, vinh dự cao (p 123) How happy I am that the people in Duc Pho feel that I belong to there I share with them the happiness and pride of the heroic land I am glad that all the meetings the Duc Pho group was awarded first priority in all things, all the highest honors, all their love (p 39) Due to some changes in using sentence structure that spoil the parallelism in structure as well as the repetition of words The translator does not possess the even, continuous rhymth that the writer of the source text has created 3.5.2 Treatment of synonym, near-synonym and antonym Translating synonym, near-synonym and antonym is likely tobe decresing because of the above explanation It will not be sufficient if I not state one more cause, it is noncorrespondance among words That means, in the translation they are word opposite in terms of meaning but no opposite in terms of part of spech It is not considered equivalence Let’s see some examples: [3:26] Anh chết anh Vinh? Không! Anh sống (p 191) Are you already dead Vinh? No! You still live (p 69) Whereas chết is oppositte to sống in terms of both semantic and part of speech, dead is adjective and live is a verb Another example: [3:27] Rừng trở lại lặng im,lặng im đến khơng muốn trở (p 40) The jungle and trees are too quiet, so still that even the leves don’t want to move (p 40) Apparenlty, rừng and are translated into the jungle and trees, the leaves The translation reflects accurately the relation between those word- superordiate 3.5.3 Treatment of collocation It is the fact that the author and the translator not employ collocation much due to the structure of the diary, especially the diary is written in the war time, even the author find no time to take description on every detail [3:28] Mùa thu chưa đến mà vàng chìm ngập khơng gian (p.57) Fall hasn’t arrived but yellow leaves cover the sky (p 11) [3:29] Một ca mổ quan trọng kết quả: thận giập nát may lại Máu ngừng chảy, nước tiểu người bệnh nhân lại bình thường (p 75) 44 The result of a serious operation: kidney broke apart, circulation stops, but the urine of the patient becomes normal again 3.6 General remark To have a broad look, the quality of simplicity and readabilty can not be denied to Vietnam Archive’s translation It follows that the translation is accepted by their target readers Tobe accepted, they must follow a number of qualities, but first and fore most they must possess texture and be considered tobe text Thanks to the network of cohesion that gives the translation texture Cohesion is a vital feature to create textuality for a text Generally speaking, translation makes use of reference, ellipsis, substitution, conjunction and lexical cohesion Most of them not gain much similarity to those of the source text due to several unsatisfactory treatment, however, it is not the translator’s fault, it is because of unsolvable dissimilaraties between two languages, two cultures The pattern of reference and lexical cohesion reveals more differences than any other cohesive pattern Dissimilarity of reference is attributed to English’s not preference of using kinship terms Pattern of conjunction and ellipsis are being less adjusted but is also remarkable One of the reasons lies in the fact that adjustments in the pattern of conjunction can spoil the content of the text and its interpretation To the pattern of ellipsis, one thing that makes the nonequipvalence is the dissimilarity between two languages in terms of transitive verb However, it is acknowledged that dissimilarities in translation process is unavoidable because of limits of the language in which it is created Additionally, difficulties and complexities that a translator has to cope with when reproducing a literary text into another cutural context also make difficulty much clearer Baker also argues that “as hard as one might try, it is impposible to reproduce networks of cohesion in a target text which are identical to those of the source text.” (1992, p 206) To adopt an overall view point, the translation version has its own strong points and weak point but it has partly fulfilled the intention of the author (Newmark, 1988, p 192) not only in the transformation of the original content and form, but also the transformation of pragmatic and aesthetic value Therefore, the audience can temporally sastisfy with the target translation and hope a better one 45 Part III: Conclusion Review of the study As an investigation on the equipvalence between the source language text and the target language one, the study has been designed in accordance with the model of Newmark (1988): the exploration of the original text is followed by that of the translation, and the result of the former are used as assessment criteria for the later Cohesion is an important textual forming element because it links to organize and create a text Different languages lead to differences in using cohesion That causes dissimilarity between the source language text and target language text The study is started with theoretical background on cohesion which is related to thesis Specifically, they are the system of Vietnamese cohesion and theory about translation This is the basis step laying foundation for further research The study consists of three chapters To begin with, theoretical backqround part gives out the knowledge of cohesion, type of cohesion, translation theory Later identification of textual marker in the origianl text is dealt with in chapter and more important is the treatment of textual markers in the translation version which is specified in chapter As far as the examination on the original is concerned , we try to find out what types of cohesion are employed most, and least and in what pattern they occur to create the original’s texture The technical data indicates that source language text relies on reference, ellipsis, substitution, conjunction and lexical cohesion to achieve textuality among which reference and lexical cohesion are preferred the most So does that in the translation text Specifically, reference and lexical cohesion hold 152 times (compared to 288 times in the original text) and 184 times (compared to 324 times in the original text), whereas ellipsis is the gentlest employed: times (compared to times in the original text) Whatever the data is, once again I strongly confirm that the translation fullfiled the author’s intention Issue that not addressed in the study Due to the scope of the study, the first issue that we not have chance to approach is thematic and information structure The next issue is the genrre of literature As Blum-Kullar (2000) stated preferences in choice of cohesive ties may vary in 46 different genre of English It means that English has its own literature preference that is not identical to Vietnamese literature Application of the study As the introductory part of this study ever presupposes, the study can be helpful for English teaching Following some suggested practical activities that can make learners more aware of the importance of cohesion in discourse as well as their ability of recognizing and creating cohesion Activity 1: Decide what kind of repetition is each pair of the underlined words in following sentences: repetition, synonymy, superordinate Activity 2: Point out the link of synonym in these two texts (one is Vietnamese text and the other is English one) Activity 3: Making a comparison in terms of using reference due to the analised data in the two texts Suggestion for further studies This study has only made a limited investigation marker between the sorce and the target language text During the course of the study, we found some interesting related areas that are worth looking into as follows: - Thematic and information structure as a component that gives texture to a text - Treatment of non-subject sentence in the texts - Treatment of address form in the English translation 47 References Baker, M (1992), In Other Words A Coursebook on Translation Routledge Bell, R (1991), Translation and Translating: Theory and Practice, Longman Blum-Kullar, S (2000), Shifts of Cohesion and Coherence in Translation, The Translation Studies reader, pp 298-313 Diệp Quang Ban, (2005), Ngữ Pháp Tiếng Việt, Nhà Xuát Bản Giáo Dục Halliday, M.A.K and Hasan, Q (1976), Cohesion in English, Longman Kenny, D (2001), Equivalence, Routledge Encyclopedia of Translation Studies, pp.77-80 Newmark, P (1988), A Textbook of Translation, Phoenix ELT Newmark, P (1988), Approaches to Translation, Prentice hall International (UK) Ltd Nguyễn Văn Chiến, (1992), Ngôn Ngữ Học Đối Chiếu Đối Chiếu Các Ngôn Ngữ Đông Nam Á, Trường Đại Học Sư Phạm Ngoại Ngữ Hà Nội 10 Nguyễn Hoà, (2002), An Introduction to Discourse Analysis, VNU Press 11 Nguyễn Thị Tuyết Hồng, (2006), A Study on Textual Equivalence Between some Australian Short Stories and Their Vietnamese Translation, M.A Thesis 12 Nguyễn Thị Vân Lam, Ngơ Đình Phương, (2007), Discourse Analysis, VNU Press 13 Nida, E (2000), Principles of Correspondence, Routlegde Encyclopedia of Translation Studies, pp 126-139 14 Nguyễn Quang, (2002), Giao Tiếp Giao Tiếp Văn Hoá, Nhà Xuất Bản Đại Học Quốc Gia Hà Nội 15 Văn Thị Thanh Bình, (2001), A Study on the Stylistic Equivalence Between The Old Man and The Sea by Hemingway and its Translated Verson in Vietnamese, M.A Thesis, VNU Press 16 http: // en.wikipedia.org./wiki/cohesion_ %28linguistic%29./ 48 ... situation - To suggest some practical applications for teaching and learning of translation as well as teaching and learning of English in general and cohesion in particular Scope of the study. .. correctly and form of the original in a literary language To any translators, there are two main points before taking any translation: literary point and linguistic point of view First, literary point... 1.2.1 What is translation? It is said that ? ?Translation is an art and a science” It deals with language in use rather than language as a system The term ? ?translation? ?? itself can refer to meanings: