Đánh giá bản dịch việt anh tác phẩm oxford thương yêu

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HA NOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES -*** - TRẦN THANH HƯƠNG EVALUATING THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD” (Đánh giá dịch Việt – Anh tác phẩm “Oxford thương yêu”) M.A MINOR THESIS Field: English Linguistics Code: 60 22 15 Hanoi - 2012 VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HA NOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES & INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF POST- GRADUATE STUDIES -*** - TRẦN THANH HƯƠNG EVALUATING THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD” (Đánh giá dịch Việt – Anh tác phẩm “Oxford thương yêu”) M.A MINOR THESIS Field: English Linguistics Code: 60 22 15 Supervisor: Assoc.Prof.Dr LÊ HÙNG TIẾN Hanoi - 2012 TABLE OF CONTENTS DECLARATION i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii ABSTRACT iii TABLE OF CONTENTS iv LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS vi LIST OF TABLES vii PART 1: INTRODUCTION 01 Rationale of the study 01 Scope of the study 02 Aims of the study 02 Research methodology 02 Organization of the study 03 PART 2: DEVELOPMENT 04 CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 04 1.1 Literary translation 04 1.1.1 Literary translation definition 04 1.1.2 Characteristics of literary translation 04 1.1.3 Methods used in literary translation 06 1.1.4 Problems of literary translation 07 1.2 Translation quality assessment 09 1.2.1 Definition of translation quality assessment 09 1.2.2 Role of translation quality assessment 09 1.2.3 Models for translation quality assessment 10 iv CHAPTER 2: TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD” 14 2.1 Source text and the author 14 2.2 Translation and the translator 15 2.3 Translation quality assessment of the English version of Beloved Oxford 16 2.3.1 Strengths 16 2.3.2 Weaknesses 18 2.3.2.1 Linguistic aspect 18 2.3.2.2 Translational aspect 19 2.3.3 Summary 37 PART 3: CONCLUSION 38 Recapitulation 38 Implications 38 Limitations and suggestion for further research 39 REFERENCES 40 APPENDICES I APPENDIX I APPENDIX III v LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS OALD Oxford Advanced Learner‟s Dictionary SL Source language ST Source text TL Target language TQA Translation quality assessment TT Target text VD Vietnamese Dictionary vi LIST OF TABLES Table Page Examples of the strengths of the translation 16 Examples of word omission 19 Examples of addition 20 Examples of inappropriate equivalence at word level 22 Examples of inappropriate equivalence above word level 26 vii PART 1: INTRODUCTION Rationale for the study Translation has been of great importance to the world‟s society and culture, especially in the current process of globalization Thanks to translation, more and more books, documents, news have been translated between languages, which enables human access to the repository of knowledge of many fields in different languages It also contributes to the introduction of each country‟s identity to the world Therefore, international understanding, social cultural awareness among people is dramatically improved Among translation fields, literary translation catches many people‟s interest A lot of foreign literature works have been translated into Vietnamese, and vice versa However, the question of how much the quality of literary translation is remains unanswered A plenty of translated versions have drawn much criticism from reviewers and readers for the last few years Thus, assessing the translations becomes inevitable The novel Beloved Oxford written by Duong Thuy (published in 2007) is chosen for several reasons Firstly, it is one of the best sellers in its original Vietnamese language in 2007 The novel has been reprinted seventeen times with the total copies of 59,500 so far (up to April, 2012)1 Secondly, Beloved Oxford is one of my favourite novels, which helps me understand more about the life of Vietnamese students overseas This novel is translated into English by Elbert Bloom, an American reader, who is fascinated by Duong Thuy‟s works These reasons and interests provide me with motivation to work on this thesis, “Evaluating the English version of the novel Beloved Oxford” From http://duongthuy.net/books.php?id=3&cid=154&page=1 Retrieved May 20, 2012 Scope of the study The beautiful romantic novel Beloved Oxford consists of sixteen chapters On the ground of limited time, conditions, this thesis focuses on the first three chapters, namely The Surprising School Admission, The Challenger, The Lonely Winter respectively These chapters are selected because they help the readers imagine the setting of the novel, the main characters‟ background and personalities; and especially contain the typical strengths and weaknesses of the translation Aims of the study The study is carried out to investigate the quality of the English version of the novel Beloved Oxford based on Newmark‟s theory of translation criticism Research methodology 4.1 Research questions In order to serve the aim of the study, two research questions are raised: What are the strengths of the English version of Beloved Oxford in terms of linguistic aspect and translational aspect? What are the weaknesses of the English version of Beloved Oxford in terms of linguistic aspect and translational aspect? 4.2 Research methods To achieve the goal of the study, contrastive analysis is employed The researcher conducts the study in the following steps:  Building up a theoretical background for the study  Choosing an approach for TQA, that is Newmark‟s  Analyzing and comparing source text and target text to find out the strengths and weaknesses of the translation in term of linguistic aspect and translational aspect Organization of the study Part I is the Introduction which provides readers an overview of the thesis including the rationale for the study, the aims, the scope, the methodology and the organization of the study Part II is the Development, which includes two chapters Chapter introduces the theoretical background knowledge related to literary translation and TQA Chapter is the main part of the study It provides comparison and analysis between original texts and translation texts, and discussion about the strengths and weaknesses of the translation Part III is the Conclusion which summarizes the main ideas and findings of the study, draws some implications for Vietnamese - English literary translations, points out limitations of the study and makes suggestions for further research PART II: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Literary translation 1.1.1 Literary translation definition Translation plays an important role in increasing awareness and understanding among diverse cultures and nations Literary translations in particular help these different cultures reach a compromise According to Toury (1995, cited in Elkjær, 2010), a literary translation is a translation of a text deemed literary in the source culture, which conforms - translates - to the requirements of a literary text in the target culture Therefore, in order for a translation to be a literary translation the result of the translation must be acknowledged as literature in the target situation and culture, thus bearing the target literature requirements upon it Having the same viewpoint, Schulte (2010) claims that “Literary translation bridges the delicate emotional connections between cultures and languages and furthers the understanding of human beings across national borders In the act of literary translation the soul of another culture becomes transparent, and the translator recreates the refined sensibilities of foreign countries and their people through the linguistic, musical, rhythmic, and visual possibilities of the new language.” 1.1.2 Characteristics of literary translation According to Reiss (1976/ 1989, cited in Huang, 2011) literary text - as an “expressive” text type - has a set of typical features It is in a written form, fictional, and canonical, and has an aesthetic function, focusing on the expression of emotions, with poetic language, implicit meanings, and deviations APPENDICES APPENDIX 1: Inappropriateness in equivalence at word level No Source text Translation lịch học (p.5) study calendar (p.8) tiền photo (p.6) the book Suggestion schedule of photocopies cost photographs (p.8) Tụi Ý ăn mặc diêm dúa There (p.12) cô chột nhớ lại she fussily dressed Italians remember ngáo ộp chàng stupid ones like farmer ugly ones like farmer Ivan (p.22) Ivan Có người vơ tư hơ There were unbiased There hiệu (p.20) were people people that cried out ignorantly crying out the slogan (p.22) were suddenly she was startled to remembered (p.18) Ivan nông dân (p.19) smartly There dressed Italians (p.14) (p.16) were the slogan Fernando Fernando is a very Fernando is a very niên “được” young man (p.25) good/ cool man (p.22) Kim nghe rõ ràng Kim could clearly hear slanderous giọng cao vút điêu Thuy Ha‟s loud voice ngoa Thúy Hà swishing falsely (p.29) (p.25) Những lúc phải “ngậm allow Fernando to raise allow bồ làm ngọt” cho his level of teaching preach cho Fernando “lên (p.36) I Fernando to lớp” (p.36) 10 giọng “đĩ thõa” (p.37) 11 Do tối thường trằn trọc At virtuous voice (p.41) night she nhớ nhà [ ] cô không tossed ngủ thẳng giấc (p.38) promiscuous often missing about sleeplessly, remembering her home (p.36) 12 ông già tuyết (p.44) the old man in the a snowman snow (p.49) 13 Thúy Hà thức Thuy Ha primarily had an affair with Jean cặp bồ với Jean Louis stayed up together with Louis (p.47) a friend, Jean Louis 14 dầu gió (p.49) wind oil (p.55) 15 Ở phịng khám, At the infirmary, Kim‟s guardian Fernando khai Fernando declared that “người đỡ đầu” he was Kim‟s tutor Kim (p.52) (p.58) II medicated oil APPENDIX 2: Inappropriateness in equivalence above word No Source text Translation giáo trình the thick textbook of the thick photocopied photo sẵn (p.5) Suggestion photographs (p.8) ông ta phán cho he câu xanh rờn (p.7) said textbook something he Kim Kim ngơ ngẩn không Kim did not reply with Kim was so lost in her buồn trả lời (p.7) some silly morose thought that she did answer (p.10) said terrible that frightened something shocking to her a lot (p.9) simply nơi biết not reply bao an area where there an area which many người trẻ ao ước (p.12) were many eager young people dreamt young people of (p.13) vài đứa sinh viên Anh a few English students yawning noisily as a [ ] ngáp to [ ] with gaping yawns helicopter roars trực thăng kêu (p.12) as though they were going to take off vertically (p.14) có vài người đứng chờ, there were only a few chewing something miệng nhai nhóp nhép people chút (p.13) waiting, chewing their mouths making a bit of a munching noise (p.15) Cô cười, làm trêu she smiled, teasing She smiled, pretended thực lòng thấy him, but frankly she to tease him but she III tự hào anh chia saw sẻ (p.15) his pride and actually felt proud to shared (p.17) be shared by him Học Oxford dù có cố Studying in Oxford we Hard work can make gắng “lấy cần cù bù must try to obtain hard up thông minh” [ ], Kim earned a lack of compensation intelligence người đến intelligently [ ] Kim từ nước có [ ] was also the only giáo dục không student that came from phát triển (p.15) a country that had an undeveloped educational system (p.17) Giờ sang Oxford, Now at Oxford she Now at Oxford she thấy khoảng cách realized that the realized that the “người ta” “mình” distance between the distance between the xa vời vợi, thể others and herself was others and herself was người Sài Gòn tự nhận extremely great as in extremely great just as văn minh nhìn vào Saigon The civilized the civilized nàng từ núi ones saw her as a Saigonese saw her as a rừng rợ bước mountain đòi hội nhập (p.16) stepping barbarian mountain out and stepping demanding to join their demanding team (p.18) 10 barbarian out and to join their team Thời gian đầu They were attracted to They were attracted to hút (p.17) each other the first time each other at first (p.19) 11 Kim thử khuyên Lệc Kim tried to council Le Every one for himself Chi bé khó Chi, but the young lady IV chịu mặt nên Kim raised her face so định “mạnh unpleasantly that she sống” (p.17) decided to let her live her own way (p.19) 12 Chị nói tiếng Anh chưa She didn‟t speak She didn‟t speak rành hay vẻ ta English well, but she English well, but she (p.18) pretended she did showed off as if she (p.20) 13 did Kim thường nhìn Kim often looked at acting as a snob cách “dốt mà làm Thuy Ha as ignorant hay chữ” Thúy Hà yet acting as though (p.18) 14 educated (p.20) (c) Cái vẻ lẳng lơ lộ This flirtatious manner This shamelessly liễu Thị Mầu of Thuy Ha ignoring flirtatious manner like Thúy Hà (p.19) the willow road like Thi Mau of Thuy Ha Thi Mau (p.21) 15 Kẻ khác thuộc hạng Another person was a frog in a well “ếch ngồi đáy giếng” like a frog sitting at the (p.20) 16 bottom of a well (p.22) hay thương tâm they have to enter a it is pitiful that they tự hủy hoại (p.20) mental institution or] destroy themselves are that so heart-broken they destroy themselves (p.22) 17 Hay tự ti nên Was it an inferiority Is it the lower selfmới tự tôn (p.20) complex or superiority complex? the V a esteem people suffer, more over- (p.23) confident they become? 18 (c) Nắng vàng vắt It was a golden clear The brilliant sunshine nhẹ nhàng đậu vai sunny day, so Kim pleasantly stayed on Kim (p.21) threw something light her shoulders over her shoulders (p.24) 19 [Fernando [Fernando is a very] [Fernando is a very] niên] “được” 20 young man Sao giáo sư lại nói the good man professor could How could the câu khơng ăn nhập again say one relevant professor say such an hết (p.23) 21 sentence at all (27) irrelevant word? rút khăn tay lau cho cô pull out a handkerchief pull out a cách chăm in a studious manner handkerchief to wipe (p.24) for her to wipe herself her up attentively (p.27) 22 (d) Kim quê ánh Kim was unwittingly What embarrassed mắt ngạc nhiên surprised when Thuy Kim was a surprisingrồi nhanh chóng giễu Ha and Le Chi rapidly to-mocking look of cợt “Vậy mà bày commented, đặt làm “You Thuy Ha and Le Chi pretend to be virtuous, saying that “You are chuyên lắm!” Thúy but actually you are not virtuous at all!” Hà Lệ Chi (p.24) 23 not.‟ (p.27) Fernando tỉnh rụi trước Fernando said, Fernando ignored “vùng lên” Kim recovering before Kim Kim‟s protest (p.27) 24 Fernando arose (p.30) nhắc, mặt Fernando VI reminded Fernando reminded đểu hết chỗ nói (p.27) her, his caddish face her with his caddish finished saying (p.30) 25 face Kim [ ] biết có She knew that if she hit banging your head đấm anh lấy him, it would be just against the brick wall trứng chọi đá (p.27) like throwing an egg into a rock (p.30) 26 Fernando cách Fernando continued to Only by using this “áp giải” kiều teach in this new escorting method did vời cô nàng „prisoner‟ mode, Fernando make her get khỏi giường lúc always making Kim get out of bed when she ngủ ngon (p.28) out of bed after she had was sleeping the most first slept sufficiently soundly (p.31) 27 Nước lạnh làm cô tỉnh The water was very The cold water made rụi, thấy tội nghiệp cold, which made her her “người dưng” fully awake, wake up She felt what feeling sorry for the cực khổ a pity that the other “stranger” (p.29) persons who used it became were not at who miserable all because of her miserable because of her (p.32) 28 Còn lâu em có [ ] the stature of this this attractive figure vóc dáng “chết „dead person‟ (p.33) người” (p.29) 29 Không muốn bị Not wanting to be Not wanting to be Fernando la lối, xỉ vả, yelled at and scolded yelled at, scolded and đem nhan sắc cô đay by Fernando, she took gumbled VII over her nghiến hoài (p.34) her complexion went out and beauty again and again gnashing by Fernando continuously (p.37) 30 tiếc đứt ruột (p.34) regrettably felt deeply felt deeply regrettable hurt (p.38) 31 Thật khắc kỷ! (p.34) I certainly have to exert What self-control! (p.38) 32 a stoical person!/ Such a stoic! Đã biết trí nhớ khơng I know your memory is Knowing your tốt phải ghi lại chứ! not good, but you must memory is not good, Tôi không theo em take notes! I don‟t live you nhắc tị tị cho em hồi just sao! (p.35) for you have to take to notes! I don‟t live just constantly follow on to remind you all the my heels to be time! reminded! (p.39) 33 Những lúc phải “ngậm Several times she had to grin and bear it bồ làm ngọt” cho to endure her friends Fernando lên lớp [ ] making sweet talk in (p.36) order to allow Fernando to raise his level of teaching (p.39) 34 Kim muốn trêu [ ] Kim wanted to tease open a can of worms không muốn [ ] but she didn‟t want “chọc vào ổ kiến lửa” to „irritate him about nên nhịn cười (p.36) this nest of fire ants‟, so she held back from laughing (p.40) VIII Biết Fernando Kim knew that Knowing that mình, mà Fernando, like himself, Fernando always did nhiều lần Kim often forced her not to everything for her, she không cưỡng lại be lười biếng cố hữu rather (p.37) 35 lazy couldn‟t chronically many times chronic (p.41) resist her laziness, though Anh không thèm theo He did not desire to He did not need to dõi làm biết pursue what she had watch her out, but still có học hành đàng done, whether knowing knew whether she had hoàng thư viện that she had dignifiedly studied seriously in hay nằm nhà đánh studied in the library or the library or stayed giấc đến trưa (p.38) lay at home sleeping home sleeping until until noon (p.43) 36 Cuối tuần noon Fernando At the end of the week At the end of the week đến, cần anh kiểm Fernando arrived He Fernando arrived tra tiến độ tập, hỏi only needed to examine Only by checking her vài câu giáo trình her rate of progress exercises, phát dễ dàng with Kim có “vấn (p.39) her asking exercises, several questions in đề” asking several the textbook could he apparently sentences easily recognize that from the textbook, but Kim had cheated or Kim had problems not (p.43) 37 Kim Kim also nhiều đối tượng đeo disliked being greatly Kim had been pursued with by a lot of guys, but đuổi chưa có someone with such a had never met such a nhân vật quái chiêu monstrous personality weird man like him (p.41) (p.45) IX cặp mắt mang hình a pair of eyes looking angry-looking eyes viên đạn (p.41) 38 like bullets (p.46) Hai người cho xem I don‟t know those two These two people tấu hài hồi khơng persons always address always biết! (p.42) each other like that when they meet! (p.47) 39 Yêu giết They love each other so More thôi! (p.42) love, more much that they kill quarrels! each other, that‟s all! (p.47) 40 Tưởng đến nước Kim didn‟t think that Kim thought that they chẳng mặt mũi everybody would be wouldn‟t nhìn (p.42) see each watching each other in other any more such a bad situation (p.47) 41 Fernando đòi hộ Fernando offered tống Kim trực tiếp đến escort to instead of letting her Kim go by herself as usual thư viện thay để immediately to the tự thường lệ library because that‟s (p.43) where he himself usually went (p.47) 42 mời lên xe inviting her to get into inviting her to get into (p.43) 43 mở rộng cửa his car as he opened the his car whose door door (p.47) was widely open A wise person […] A wise person […] A wise person […] người dại chỗ biết tận better than the stupid better than the stupid dụng hội đến person at this spot, one knows to make X với lo knows that making the the chìu lịng tự most hão vô bổ! (p.43) of most of several opportunities coming opportunities to go to him rather than only with me is better than to satisfy his useless only having anxious useless several vain self-esteem! bouts vain of self- esteem! (p.48) 44 nàng hận ngút she hated him higher she hated his guts trời mây (p.44) than the clouds in the sky (p.48) 45 Một vật nhỏ One small animal was One small animal was chạy ngang hiên nhà để running past the porch running past the porch lại vết chân ngộ nghĩnh of the house leaving of the house leaving bị lún sâu hun hút pretty deep footprints pretty deep footprints (p.44) caved in until the trail was lost (p.49) 46 Lũ trẻ thấy tuyết The little ones watched The little ones realized rơi dày đến gần hai the snow fall until it that the snowfall was mươi centimét (p.44) was almost twenty almost twenty centimeters deep (p.49) centimeters deep 47 Lũ trẻ [ ] rủ Kim The little ones [ ] asked Kim to make a làm ông già tuyết invited Kim to become snowman with them (p.44) the old man in the snow (p.49) 48 Mọi người hồ hởi nhìn Everybody helped to Everybody was eager thành cao gần hai build a snowman that to see the two-meter XI mét (p.44) grew to a height of two snowman meters (p.49) 49 Kim dù cố cẩn thận Kim, though she tried burst out laughing and trượt té vài lần to be làm lũ trẻ bật cười nevertheless khói (p.45) careful, breath out smoke slipped and fell several times, which made the young ones burst out laughing and letting out steam (p.50) 50 Kim ngỡ ngàng nhận Kim thought she could Kim surprisingly tàu qua identify several villages recognized làng nằm lying thung lũng (p.46) down the train was passing by the valley Sự trở gấp gáp The urgent return for Kim‟s urgent return Kim 52 Kim hai nói tiếng anh ẹ they both spoke they both nên có lẽ English scarily alike as English (p.47) spoke badly, hút chỗ khác though perhaps they probably so were were attracted to each attracted to each other other from place (p.53) 53 the valley that the train was villages lying down in going by (p.51) 51 in that another because of another reason Fernando chẳng “xơ Fernando hadn‟t gained Fernando hadn‟t done múi” (p.48) any advantage at all it at all (p.54) 54 Phải biết thân biết phận You must know your You XII must know (p.49) weakness determines yourself your destiny (p.55) 55 Em đừng có nói thiếu you don‟t talk about Don‟t say that you tiền nghe, tiền em đầy lacking money Your lack money! Your nhóc tài khoản, account is filled to the account is full to the em keo có (p.49) brim money brim of money It‟s with Because you are stingy because you‟re stingy! you have it! (p.55) 56 Ai biết anh đâu mà Who knows how to call Who gọi (p.49) knows where you where you live? you are to call? (p.55) 57 Điện thoại di động I can receive nhận khắp mobile châu Âu (p.50) my My mobile phone telephone works all over Europe number any place in Europe (p.56) 58 Đồ tàn ác! (p.50) You are more cruel and How cruel you are! heartless than anybody! (p.56) 59 Không biết ác I don‟t know anybody Who is (p.50) more cruel rueler than than who anybody (p.56) 60 nằm ngoẹo đầu lên ghế laid her head flat on the bent her head on the xe (p.51) 61 Fernando car seat (p.57) car seat phải vươn Fernando had to reach Fernando had to reach người qua cài dây an across to fasten Kim‟s across to fasten Kim‟s toàn cho Kim, miệng seat belt, with her seat belt, lảm nhảm “Sao số mouth driveling, and something XIII saying nonsense, xui không biết!” said, “I don‟t know “How unlucky I am!” làm cô muốn bật dậy why I have such an making her want to đập cho anh phát unlucky fate!” making get up and give him a (p.51) her want to rise up slap from her seat and give him a slap (p.57) 62 Keo kiệt em nên As stingy as you are to So stingy are you that chịu đựng bệnh have just endured being you had to endure hoạn mười ngày sick for ten days now, being sick for ten days nay, em phải trả if you had to pay for now If you had to pay tiền khám tiếc đứt the infirmary it would for the hospital fees, ruột bệnh nặng cause you to surely feel you would surely feel thêm! (p.52) deep regrettable pain, deeply which would make you which even sicker! (p.58) 63 regrettable, would make you even sicker! Chính anh quàng vào You yourself put them You yourself put these người thứ on me with all of those smelly things on me! bốc mùi này! (p.53) different terrible smells rising! (p.59) 64 Em đừng mời tụi bạn You don‟t invite your Don‟t khu học xá nghe friends (p.54) in the friends invite your in the dormitory, you hear dormitory, you? me? (p.60) 65 Rồi kỳ nghỉ Giáng sinh Then next year during I promise to stay with năm sau hứa the Christmas holidays you bên em! (p.54) I will tell my mother to make another one for you! (p.61) XIV [ ] cô cần Fernando [ ] she needed the she kinh khủng (p.54) horrible (p.61) XV badly Fernando Fernando needed ... POST- GRADUATE STUDIES -*** - TRẦN THANH HƯƠNG EVALUATING THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD? ?? (Đánh giá dịch Việt – Anh tác phẩm ? ?Oxford thương yêu? ??) M.A MINOR THESIS Field: English... tease him but she thấy tự hào anh saw chia sẻ (p.15) (b) Giờ his pride and actually felt proud to shared (p.17) be shared by him sang Now at Oxford she Now at Oxford she Oxford, thấy khoảng realized... Linguistics Oxford University Press Dictionaries Hoang, P (et al.) (2011) Từ điển Tiếng Việt (4th ed.) Da Nang Publishing House Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary (8th ed.) (2010) Oxford University