evaluating the english version of the novel beloved oxford , đánh giá bản dịch việt - anh tác phẩm oxford thương yêu

CHAPTER 2: TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD”.... Translation quality assessment of the English version of Beloved Oxford.... Aims of the

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HA NOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF POST - GRADUATE STUDIES

-*** -

TRẦN THANH HƯƠNG

EVALUATING THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE

NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD”

(Đánh giá bản dịch Việt – Anh tác phẩm “Oxford thương yêu”)

M.A MINOR THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 60 22 15

Hanoi - 2012

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HA NOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES & INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF POST- GRADUATE STUDIES

-*** -

TRẦN THANH HƯƠNG

EVALUATING THE ENGLISH VERSION OF THE

NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD”

(Đánh giá bản dịch Việt – Anh tác phẩm “Oxford thương yêu”)

M.A MINOR THESIS

Field: English Linguistics

Code: 60 22 15

Supervisor: Assoc.Prof.Dr LÊ HÙNG TIẾN

Hanoi - 2012

TABLE OF CONTENTS

DECLARATION i

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii

ABSTRACT iii

TABLE OF CONTENTS iv

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS vi

LIST OF TABLES vii

PART 1: INTRODUCTION 01

1 Rationale of the study 01

2 Scope of the study 02

3 Aims of the study 02

4 Research methodology 02

5 Organization of the study 03

PART 2: DEVELOPMENT 04

CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW 04

1.1 Literary translation 04

1.1.1 Literary translation definition 04

1.1.2 Characteristics of literary translation 04

1.1.3 Methods used in literary translation 06

1.1.4 Problems of literary translation 07

1.2 Translation quality assessment 09

1.2.1 Definition of translation quality assessment 09

1.2.2 Role of translation quality assessment 09

1.2.3 Models for translation quality assessment 10

CHAPTER 2: TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

ENGLISH VERSION OF THE NOVEL “BELOVED OXFORD”

14 2.1 Source text and the author 14

2.2 Translation and the translator 15

2.3 Translation quality assessment of the English version of Beloved Oxford 16

2.3.1 Strengths 16

2.3.2 Weaknesses 18

2.3.2.1 Linguistic aspect 18

2.3.2.2 Translational aspect 19

2.3.3 Summary 37

PART 3: CONCLUSION 38

1 Recapitulation 38

2 Implications 38

3 Limitations and suggestion for further research 39

REFERENCES 40

APPENDICES I

APPENDIX 1 I

APPENDIX 2 III

LIST OF TABLES

1 Examples of the strengths of the translation 16

2 Examples of word omission 19

3 Examples of addition 20

4 Examples of inappropriate equivalence at word level 22

5 Examples of inappropriate equivalence above word level 26

PART 1: INTRODUCTION

1 Rationale for the study

Translation has been of great importance to the world‟s society and culture, especially in the current process of globalization Thanks to translation, more and more books, documents, news have been translated between languages, which enables human access to the repository of knowledge of many fields in different languages It also contributes to the introduction of each country‟s identity to the world Therefore, international understanding, social cultural awareness among people is dramatically improved

Among translation fields, literary translation catches many people‟s interest

A lot of foreign literature works have been translated into Vietnamese, and vice versa However, the question of how much the quality of literary translation is remains unanswered A plenty of translated versions have drawn much criticism from reviewers and readers for the last few years Thus, assessing the translations becomes inevitable

The novel Beloved Oxford written by Duong Thuy (published in 2007) is

chosen for several reasons Firstly, it is one of the best sellers in its original Vietnamese language in 2007 The novel has been reprinted seventeen times with the total copies of 59,500 so far (up to April, 2012)1 Secondly, Beloved Oxford is

one of my favourite novels, which helps me understand more about the life of Vietnamese students overseas This novel is translated into English by Elbert Bloom, an American reader, who is fascinated by Duong Thuy‟s works

These reasons and interests provide me with motivation to work on this

thesis, “Evaluating the English version of the novel Beloved Oxford”

1

From http://duongthuy.net/books.php?id=3&cid=154&page=1 Retrieved May 20, 2012

2 Scope of the study

The beautiful romantic novel Beloved Oxford consists of sixteen chapters

On the ground of limited time, conditions, this thesis focuses on the first three

chapters, namely The Surprising School Admission, The Challenger, The Lonely Winter respectively These chapters are selected because they help the readers

imagine the setting of the novel, the main characters‟ background and personalities; and especially contain the typical strengths and weaknesses of the translation

3 Aims of the study

The study is carried out to investigate the quality of the English version of

the novel Beloved Oxford based on Newmark‟s theory of translation criticism

4 Research methodology

4.1 Research questions

In order to serve the aim of the study, two research questions are raised:

1 What are the strengths of the English version of Beloved Oxford in terms

of linguistic aspect and translational aspect?

2 What are the weaknesses of the English version of Beloved Oxford in

terms of linguistic aspect and translational aspect?

 Choosing an approach for TQA, that is Newmark‟s

 Analyzing and comparing source text and target text to find out the strengths and weaknesses of the translation in term of linguistic aspect and translational aspect

5 Organization of the study

Part I is the Introduction which provides readers an overview of the thesis

including the rationale for the study, the aims, the scope, the methodology and the organization of the study

Part II is the Development, which includes two chapters

Chapter 1 introduces the theoretical background knowledge related to literary translation and TQA

Chapter 2 is the main part of the study It provides comparison and analysis between original texts and translation texts, and discussion about the strengths and weaknesses of the translation

Part III is the Conclusion which summarizes the main ideas and findings of

the study, draws some implications for Vietnamese - English literary translations, points out limitations of the study and makes suggestions for further research

PART II: DEVELOPMENT

CHAPTER 1: LITERATURE REVIEW

1.1 Literary translation

1.1.1 Literary translation definition

Translation plays an important role in increasing awareness and understanding among diverse cultures and nations Literary translations in particular help these different cultures reach a compromise According to Toury (1995, cited

in Elkjær, 2010), a literary translation is a translation of a text deemed literary in the source culture, which conforms - translates - to the requirements of a literary text in the target culture Therefore, in order for a translation to be a literary translation the result of the translation must be acknowledged as literature in the target situation and culture, thus bearing the target literature requirements upon it

Having the same viewpoint, Schulte (2010) claims that “Literary translation bridges the delicate emotional connections between cultures and languages and furthers the understanding of human beings across national borders In the act of literary translation the soul of another culture becomes transparent, and the translator recreates the refined sensibilities of foreign countries and their people through the linguistic, musical, rhythmic, and visual possibilities of the new language.”

1.1.2 Characteristics of literary translation

According to Reiss (1976/ 1989, cited in Huang, 2011) literary text - as an

“expressive” text type - has a set of typical features It is in a written form, fictional, and canonical, and has an aesthetic function, focusing on the expression of emotions, with poetic language, implicit meanings, and deviations

In literary translation, the translators need to take the typical features of the source literary text as well as the influential elements from the target perspective into account, for example, the linguistic and cultural differences and the target readers In his studies, Huang (2011) discusses five points regarding the uniqueness

of literary translations Firstly, literary texts are characterized by rhetorical and aesthetic value, which is the essence expected to be captured and maintained in a literary translation Secondly, in literary translation the form interlinks with the content whereas in non-literary translation the content may be considered detachable from the form or structure The third point is that literary translator‟s choices of wording are highly dependent on the TL and culture In addition, a consideration of the target audiences is another important issue in literary translation Lastly, literary translation is a complicated act, and to this effect, there

is no definite correct translation yet there is a proper or an appropriate translation according to certain criteria or from a certain perspective

Similarly, Belhaag (1997, cited in Hassan, 2011) summarizes the characteristics of literary translations:

- allowing multiple interpretation

- timeless and universal

- using special devices to “heighten” communicative effect

- tendency to deviate from the language norms

1.1.3 Methods used in literary translation

According to Nida (1964) there are two distinguished types of translation: a formal equivalence translation in which the form and content of the original message is to be preserved, and a dynamic equivalence translation which focuses on creating an equivalent effect in the TL text

Another opinion is expressed by Larson (1984) who classifies translation methods based on the form and meaning of the text Accordingly, there are two translation trends: one is form-based and the other is meaning-based Form-based translations attempt to follow the form of the SL and are known as literal translation Meaning-based translations or idiomatic translations make every effort

to communicate the meaning of the SL text in the natural forms of the receptor language Translation falls on a continuum from very literal, to literal, to modified literal, to near idiomatic, to idiomatic, and may even move on to be unduly free

Having the same idea, Newmark (1988) proposes eight translation methods which are divided into two main categories: semantic translation and communicative translation He puts the translation methods in the form of a flattened V diagram:

It seems that Nida‟s formal equivalence translation, Larson‟s literal translation, and Newmark‟s semantic translation focus on the form of the text However, they ignore context Similarly, Nida‟s dynamic equivalence translation, Larson‟s idiomatic translation and Newmark‟s communicative translation seek one goal, that is, conveying the message of the original text to the receptor audience and are equivalent to the original text in a dynamic way Therefore, it is advisable that translators bear these methods in mind when translating literary text

1.1.4 Problems of literary translation

The first problem is that of equivalence Jakobson (1966, cited in Boushaba, 1988) considers that equivalence cannot be defined in terms of sameness and synonymy in translation theory No translation can be a complete version of the original, for translation is no more than “a creative transposition” Languages are very complex systems determined by various factors, some of which are related to the structure of these languages and others are extralinguistic such as the social and cultural contexts Since no two languages share similar structure or have identical social and cultural association, equivalence, in the sense of sameness, is thus an impossible achievement in translation Therefore, equivalence in translation should

be viewed as being an approximate rendering of a text from a SL to a TL In other words, it is the relationship between a ST and a TT that allows the TT to be considered as a translation of the ST A translator should search for equivalents that produce the same effects in the translated text as those that the author was seeking

for readers of the original text This forces the translator to consider the text, always from the perspective of literary translation, as the base of an ongoing “negotiation” with the author so that the language of the new text presents equivalent values to those of the original language, without forgetting its strength, dynamic elements, or aesthetic quality It is generally accepted that meanings are not translated, but messages, which is the reason that the text must be considered in is totality

The problems of literary translation also include differences between cultures Equal importance should be stressed on both linguistic and cultural

differences between the SL and the TL According to Nida (1964), “differences between cultures may cause more severe complications for the translator than do differences in language structure” Therefore, when translating, it is important to

consider not only the lexical impact on the target reader, but also the manner in which cultural aspects may be perceived and make translating decisions accordingly Language and culture are closely related and one is indispensable to the other There are generally problems in the translation of cultural words in a literary text unless there is a cultural overlap between the SL and the TL It is not enough for a translator to know what words are used in the TL; he must also make the reader understand the sense as it is understood by the reader of the original For instance, in a text where there is a cultural focus, there can be translation problems due to the cultural gap between the SL and the TL

When working with literature, a translator might have problems related to the analysis of the ST, which is made in order to establish the purpose and before a translation Literary texts can be full of contradictory meanings and ambiguity, thereby not having a single unequivocal meaning Works of literature can be understood in many ways, depending on the reader‟s own situation at the time of reading them and their own thought It is difficult, though, to know exactly what meaning or purpose the author intended the reader to conclude from the work Thus,

it is impossible as a reader or translator to know what the author really meant when

writing the text; what his real intentions were When a text can contain many different meanings, it must be difficult for translator to fully understand the layers

of the text, and to be able to translate all of the layers as they were intended by the author Therefore, the translator must first read the entire book of a novelist or the complete poem he wants to translate Once he has attained a profound knowledge and understanding of the author's original text he may start translating But this task requires much time, dedication and revision After the translated text has been finished, it must be read several or even many times, and each reading will mean new revision, new editing of the whole work to polish the language and to get the expression closer to the author's thoughts This makes machine translation virtually impossible to be applied to literary translations These must be made by an experienced translator with feeling and penetration into the work he has approached

1.2 Translation quality assessment

1.2.1 Definition of translation quality assessment

There is no exact definition of TQA In his book A Textbook of Translation

(1988), Newmark defines it as translation criticism According to him, “translation criticism is an essential link between translation theory and its practice” TQA

includes evaluating sources (their usefulness and authenticity), evaluating authors and their translators (their aesthetic, their influences and how this informs their work), evaluating STs and evaluating TTs

TQA can be quantitative or qualitative: it can be based on

mathematical/statistical measurement (as in the case of most academic instruments)

or on readers‟ responses, interviews and questionnaires TQA can be diagnostic

(determining areas for improvement at the beginning of a course of study),

formative (measuring progress and giving feedback during a course of study) or summative (measuring the results of learning)

1.2.2 Role of translation quality assessment

Newmark (1988) regards translation criticism or TQA as “the keystone of any course in comparative literature, or literature in translation, and a component

of any professional translation course with the appropriate text-types as an exercise for criticism and discussion” He explains the essential role of TQA due to three

reasons Firstly, translators can improve their translating competence and gain more experiences Secondly, translators can expand their knowledge and understanding of their mother tongues, the foreign language, and the topics mentioned in the translation Lastly, TQA creates a good chance for translators to revise and check their comprehension of translation theories

1.2.3 Models for translation quality assessment

The answer to the question whether one translation is considered “good” or

“bad” still remains controversial The criteria are different depending on the purpose of the assessment and on the theoretical framework which is applied to

assess translation quality In her book A Model for Translation Quality

Assessment, House (1986) classifies the studies on TQA into four main categories:

pre-linguistic studies, response-based psycholinguistic studies, source text-based studies, and studies based on pragmatic theories of language use

The first group which consists of professional translators, poets, writers, philologists, philosophers emphasizes the faithfulness to the ST and the preservation

of the spirit of the SL This approach seems impractical and vague because it represents a narrow and selective view of translation: the process of comprehension and interpretation on the part of the translator When the translators concentrate on their individual process of comprehension, the original text, the translation process, the relation between original and translation, the expectations of the target readers are not given the attention they deserve

Supporters of the second group consider a good translation which accomplishes the purpose of the ST but in TL One of the most outstanding representatives of this approach is Nida (1964 in House, 1986), who propounded the

principle of Dynamic Equivalence of a Translation, that is, the response of TT

receptors should be similar to that of ST audience Yet, the question is whether this

criterion can be tested or else, “it seems fruitless to postulate the requirement” (House, 1986), and the appeal to equivalence of response is really of no more value than the criterion of “capturing the spirit of the original” (House, 1986) Moreover,

this approach is criticized for not realizing the raison d‟être of any translation which undeniably lies in the existence of an original text, and the need to present that text

in other words Like the first group, this second group seems to ignore the relationship between original and translated text, and does not care whether a translation is in fact a translation and not a version, an adaptation or another secondary textual product derived from an original text

Researchers of the third group use the ST as the basis to evaluate any translation text The ST, its linguistic and textual structure and its meaning potential

at various levels (including the level of context of situation in a systematic framework), is seen as the most important constitutive factor in translation (House,

1986) Reiss (1971 in House, 1986) suggests that “the most important invariant in translation is the text type to which the source text belongs, as it determines all subsequent choices a translator has to make” A consistent model including criteria

for the comprehensive description and explanation of the ST and for the evaluation

of the TT should be built to overcome shortcomings of previous studies on TQA The suggested models are potentially useful, however, lack of concrete ideas to be effective applied

The last group of studies represented by House (1986) proposes a model of TQA based pragmatic theories of language use The model is built to overcome the inadequacies of previous models It is a functional- pragmatic model which is

related to semantic aspect, pragmatic aspect and textual aspect Evaluating the translation quality includes three states: (1) Analyzing the ST to establish a textual profile based on three dimensions of language users, namely, Geographical origin, Social class, Time, and five dimensions of language use such as Medium, Participation, Social role relationship, Social attitude, Province; (2) The translation text is then analyzed using the same dimensions, and its textual profile is determined; (3) The comparison of the two textual profiles reveals the degree to which the translation text matches the ST being therefore adequate in quality However, this model requires translation critics to reach a certain level of both linguistic knowledge and professional skills to apply, which makes it hardly be widely used

In his book, Newmark (1988) also suggests another translation assessment

method called a comprehensive criticism of a translation This method consists of

five steps: (1) a brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects; (2) the translator‟s interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership; (3) a selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original; (4) an evaluation of the translation in the translator‟s terms and in the critic‟s terms; (5) an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the TL culture or discipline Although Newmark‟s method has some weaknesses regarding theoretical grounds in comparison with House‟s model, it might be applied more widely

In short, the first two approaches contain certain limitations The third one sounds plausible, yet lacks concrete criteria to be applied Regarding House‟s model, although it presents specific and adequate criteria with eight situational dimensions, it requires a reviewer or a critic to have a good command of linguistic knowledge and translation theories Newmark‟s method is a combination of different models, from Nida‟s, Wilss‟s, Reiss‟s to House‟s Despite some weaknesses in theoretical grounds, it has some advantages concerning its

applicability First, this 5-step model is easy to be implemented Second, it regards translating as a communicative process, not just focuses on text form

From the researcher‟s point of view, Newmark‟s method is employed in this study because of two reasons The first reason is that it can be applied without any difficulty Newmark‟s method includes 5 steps, and in each step he describes what

to do in detail Besides this method comes from the translator‟s real experiences, so

it discusses issues raised in translating process The second reason is that it is appropriate for the goal of the study which investigates the quality of the translated version, the strengths and weaknesses of the translation in terms of linguistic and translational aspect in particular The researcher assesses the translation from the perspective of a practitioner, not of a critic, so she takes much interest in translation practice rather than translation theory

However, the researcher does not apply Newmark‟s method completely, only the first three out of five steps The researcher does not aim to give any comments

on the quality or the translation‟s future She just wants to point out the strengths and weaknesses of the translation by contrastive analysis

CHAPTER 2: TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE

TRANSLATED VERSION OF BELOVED OXFORD

2.1 Source text and the author

Beloved Oxford is a best-seller romance novel written by author Duong

Thuy It was originally published by Youth Publishing House in 2007 It has been enjoyed by both the young Vietnamese readers for whom it was intended, and their parents The novel is far more than a simple love story It is a motivational work which demonstrates to the Vietnamese youth that they can achieve their dreams as they strive for a better life in their rapidly growing economic society The story is about the trials, successes and romances of a young Vietnamese girl, Thien Kim, who travels to English to study at Oxford University Here she fulfils her dreams and falls in love with a Portuguese teaching assistant, Fernando

In the first three chapters namely The Surprising School Admission, The Challenger, The Lonely Winter respectively, the author describes the new life of

Thien Kim in Oxford She faces a lot of trouble as she has to adapt herself to a new environment including eating diet, harsh weather, and reserved native people Fernando always helps her to overcome these difficulties by giving her useful advice and supporting her With the enormous help of Fernando, Kim soon gets used to the living style and study style in England When it is near Christmas time, the school has a break Fernando comes back to his family in Portugal while Kim visits her aunt‟s family in France Although Kim‟s aunt wants her to stay for Christmas, she insists on returning to England Kim unfortunately catches a cold, but she does not dare go to the doctor‟s because of the expensive cost Kim then feels the lonely winter and wishes Fernando would be by her side When Fernando finally returns from Portugal, he takes Kim to the doctor‟s and they enjoy the happy time together

The author Duong Thuy is currently one of the popular young writers in Vietnam She started writing short stories when she was 16 years old Since then, writing has been her hobby and also her need to express herself She has never been

a full time writer, but she always tries to write professionally Thanks to her abroad trips and her occasion to discover other cultures and people, Duong Thuy has gained lots of personal and professional experience Through her stories, she would like to share with readers that Vietnamese people are very intelligent and competent, but they just lack opportunities and have a national inferiority complex, which will restrain them from improving She also wants to promote the traditional culture of Vietnam that western people appreciate while Vietnamese sometimes forget it along their striving way to a more modern life

2.2 Translation and the translator

The novel was translated into English by Elbert Bloom and was published by Youth Publishing House in the late 2011 The books have completely sold out and have been reprinted twice with the total copies of 2,500 so far (up to March, 2012)2

Beloved Oxford receives good comments from not only Vietnamese readers but

foreign ones as well

The non-professional translator, Elbert Bloom, finds this novel so charming that it deserves to be made available for English speaking people all around the world Thus, he decided to translate this novel into English He translated each chapter with the aid of a dictionary, sent the translated versions to Duong Thuy for review, and edited his work according to her comments It was edited over and over

by himself before coming out

2

2.3 Translation quality assessment of the English version of Beloved Oxford

2.3.1 Strengths

The considerable strength of the translation is the translator‟s appropriate word choices in comparison with the original This helps the translation become clearer and more explicit in meaning than the ST The examples are put into two groups

1 Gió thổi những cơn gió rét quất

vào mặt Kim thật thô bạo (p.14)

Some cold wind blew really brazenly,

whipping across Kim‟s face (p.15)

After her first class with this easily

likable teacher, even though he didn‟t have the ability to walk on his legs,

Kim was disappointed to notice that [ ] (p.16)

Cả đám bệnh hoạn phải thay

phiên nấu súp rồi cùng động viên

nhau ăn (p.47)

The entire sick crowd had to take

their turns cooking soup, then joining together to eat (p.53)

Ai cũng “thủ”, tự tôn, tự ti rộn cả

lên (p.19)

There were all types such as princes and peasants (p.22)

Table 1: Examples of the strengths of the translation

Group 1 consists of examples that are unnatural in the SL In any

language, repeatedly using the same words or phrase is considered unnatural In this

case, the author overuses the word “gió” in one sentence, which makes the sentence

prolix The translator overcomes this drawback when he translates the sentence into

“Some cold wind blew really brazenly, whipping across Kim‟s face”

Group 2 includes examples that are ambiguous in the ST

In the first two examples, the sentence in the SL has two meaning One is

literal, while the other carries negative connotation In the example “không có khả năng tự đi trên đôi chân của mình”, it can be understood in two ways The first

meaning is literal, that is, Professor Baddley does not have the ability to go on his foot The second meaning has figurative sense, that is, he cannot live by himself and has to depend on others The author wants to mention the literal meaning only

Thus, the translation is better with “he didn‟t have the ability to walk on his legs” The same situation happens in the example “Cả đám bệnh hoạn phải thay phiên nấu súp rồi cùng động viên nhau ăn.” The word “bệnh hoạn” originally means “sick”, but nowadays it is usually understood as “eccentric” or “odd” by Vietnamese

people What the author means is that everyone in the dormitory gets sick because

of the chilly weather, so the translated version “The entire sick crowd” is clearer and

unambiguous compared to the original

The third example contains words that have many meanings, making it hard for readers to grasp the idea

In Tu dien Tieng Viet (Vietnamese Dictionary, 2011), “thủ” as a verb has

four meanings Only the fourth meaning is appropriate with the context

1 đảm nhiệm một vai trò cụ thể nào đó trong một công việc có nhiều người tham

gia Thủ vai chính trong vở chèo

2 giấu sẵn trong mình hoặc chuẩn bị sẵn để phòng khi phải đối phó thì dùng đến

Thủ tài liệu vào phòng thi

3 Lấy cắp Bị thủ mất cái đồng hồ

4 chống đỡ để tự bảo vệ mình trước sự tiến công của đối phương Một võ sĩ có khả

năng công, thủ toàn diện

The word “rộn” is a verb which has two meanings, the first of which suits

the context

1 nổi lên liên tiếp, sôi nổi Trong nhà rộn lên tiếng nói cười

2 ở trạng thái có những cảm xúc tốt đẹp dâng lên mạnh mẽ Rộn lên bao cảm xúc

Putting these words together in one sentence “Ai cũng “thủ”, tự tôn, tự ti rộn

cả lên.” makes it rather difficult to be understood However, based on the context,

we can infer that the guys in the dormitory are all defensive although they have a superiority complex or an inferiority complex In the translation, the translator uses

the word metaphorically, “princes” for those who have superiority complex,

“peasants” for those who have an inferiority complex, which makes the sentence

simple, relevant to what has been mentioned before and easy for readers to grasp its meaning

2.3.2 Weaknesses

Weaknesses of the translation can be found in both linguistic and translational aspect

2.3.2.1 Linguistic aspect

Linguistic aspect involves plural noun forms

ST (p.28): Anh “kè” Kim chạy vòng vòng tập thể dục

Translation (p.31): He made Kim run around in circles practicing physical exercises

Suggestion: He made Kim run around in circles practicing physical exercise

In the example, the translator misuses the plural form of the noun “exercise” According to OALD, the word “exercise” which means physical or mental activity

that you do to stay healthy or become stronger is uncountable Therefore, it should

be “exercise” instead of “exercises”

Examples of sentence omission:

1 Môn này cô học ở một

cơ sở hiện đại nằm gần

ga, không nằm trong

trung tâm thành phố cổ

kính (p.11)

She learnt this subject on a modern campus near the station, outside the ancient city centre (p.13)

2 Thì ra ông tự lái xe đi

dạy (p.14)

It turned out that he drove to school by himself (p.16)

3 Em không thấy tụi sinh

viên nữ bám theo tôi

sao? Em đâu tới lượt!

Don‟t you see that I‟m chased by many girls? You don‟t

(p.30) have any chance!

(p.33)

Table 2: Examples of word omission

The sentence in the first example describes one of the campuses where Kim learns one subject, so the translator should not have omitted it The second example lets readers know more about Professor Baddley He has been confined to a wheelchair, he drives to school by himself every day, though In the third example, Fernando wants to emphasize his attractiveness Many girls chase after him whereas Kim always shows her annoyance whenever meeting him

Example of word omission:

ST: Tụi nhỏ dễ bị bắt cóc, bạo hành, làm nhục (p.46)

Translation: The young ones are easily kidnapped (p.51)

Suggestion: The young ones are easily kidnapped, bullied and harassed

To Kim‟s knowledge, the environment in Western countries in general and in France in particular is the ideal one for children to live and study, but it is not true

In fact, children are not only kidnapped, but also bullied and harassed

b Addition

Addition in translation is understood as an extra piece of information added

to the TT that is not in the ST Addition makes what is implicit in the ST explicit in the TT However, if the additional information in the TT is redundant and not useful to readers to understand the text, it then becomes unnecessary For example:

1 Vì cớ gì Fernando lại muốn hết For what reason did Fernando come

lòng vì cô đến thế? (p.41) with all his heart, because she was

alone? (p.45)

2 Tôi mà “khôn” thì anh chết với tôi

lâu rồi! (p.50)

Yes, I am unwise If I was wise, you

would have certainly died from me a long time ago (p.56)

Table 3: Examples of addition

In the first example, the translator adds a clause to the translated version Kim wonders why Fernando treats her so well, she cannot figure out the reasons for

his behavior By adding “because she was alone?” the translator shows his own

opinion, which may influence readers‟ thoughts

In the second example, a sentence is added by the translator We use second conditional to talk about situations or actions in the present or future which are not likely to happen or are imaginary, hypothetical or impossible Thus, the sentence

“Yes, I am unwise” is unnecessary because readers can infer from the sentence “If I was wise, you would have certainly died from me a long time ago” that Kim is

unwise

c Equivalence

It is common knowledge that equivalence is a key issue in translation theory There are many ways of classifying according to different views of equivalence, for instance, Nida‟s formal and dynamic equivalence (1964), Widdowson‟s structural, semantic, and pragmatic equivalence (1979), Newmark‟s semantic and communicative equivalence (1988) Another classification of equivalence is Baker‟s (1992) which is viewed from different perspectives, syntactically and pragmatically

In this thesis, Baker‟s classification is chosen to form the foundation for analyzing weaknesses in equivalence

c.1 Equivalence at word level

The equivalents are divided into three groups based on their part of speech in the sentence The translator makes mistakes because he translated the text word for word

1

(a) lịch học (p.5) study calendar (p.8) schedule

(b) tiền photo (p.6) the book of

he was Kim‟s tutor

stayed up together with

had an affair with

Jean Louis

Louis (p.47) a friend, Jean Louis

There were unbiased

people that cried out the slogan (p.22)

There were people

ignorantly crying out

Table 4: Inappropriate equivalence at word level

Group 1 consists of noun equivalents

(a) lịch học – study calendar

“Lịch học” in the ST is a compound word which means “timetable”; however, the translator splits it into two single words “lịch” (“calendar”) and “học” (“study”) This changes the meaning of the original word In this case, “schedule” is

a right choice

(b) tiền photo – book of photographs

In this example, the translator confuses the word “photo” in the original with the short form of the word “photograph” which means a picture taken by a camera

In fact, the word “photo” in the ST is a loanword from the English word

“photocopy” which means a copy of a document Therefore, “tiền photo” indicates

the money paid for the copies of the course materials

(c) dầu gió – wind oil

Like the case of the word “lịch học”, the translator divides the compound word “dầu gió” into two single words “dầu” (“oil”) and “gió” (“wind”) “Dầu gió”

is a type of medicines used on the skin to provide fast and effective relief for

external injuries such as muscle pain, joint ache, backache, bruises, so “medicated oil” is a appropriate equivalent

(d) người đỡ đầu – tutor

According to OALD, “tutor” has five meanings:

1 a private teacher, especially one who teaches an individual student or a very

small group

2 a teacher whose job is to pay special attention to the studies or health, etc of a

student or a group of students

3 a teacher, especially one who teaches adults or who has a special role in a school

or college

4 an assistant lecturer in a college

5 a book of instruction in a particular subject, especially music

Although the fourth meaning seems suitable as Fernando is an assistant lecturer for Professor Baddley, it does not make sense in the context Because Kim does not have a health insurance, and the infirmary in England is very expensive, she cannot afford the cost As a result, Fernando takes her to the infirmary and says

that he is legally responsible for the care of Kim Thus, it should be “guardian” instead of “tutor”

Group 2 includes verb equivalents

(a) lên lớp – raise his level of teaching

In VD, the word “lên lớp” has two meanings:

1 giảng dạy hay học tập trên lớp sắp đến giờ lên lớp

2 nói như kiểu người bề trên dạy bảo chưa chi đã giở giọng lên lớp!

In this context, “lên lớp” is used with the second meaning with negative

connotation However, the translator translates the verb word for word into English

Instead, the verb “preach” should be used as it means “to give somebody advice on moral standards, behaviour, etc, especially in a way that they find annoying or boring”

(b) nhớ nhà – remembering her home

In OALD, “remember” means “to have or keep an image in your memory of

an event, a person, a place, etc from the past” According to the context, Kim is

currently living far from home so she cannot sleep when thinking of her family in

Vietnam She feels homesick, so in this case the translation can be “suffering from homesick”

(c) cặp bồ – stayed up together

In VD, “cặp bồ” means “going out with somebody, usually when one or both

of them is married to somebody else” Thuy Ha is married and has a two-year-old son in Vietnam However, she still makes eyes at other guys in the dormitory “Stay up” with the meaning as “to go to bed later than usual” (OALD) does not match the

SL meaning, so “have an affair” should be used in this case

Group 3 includes adjective equivalents

(a) diêm dúa – smartly

“Diêm dúa” is used to describe someone who wants to show off and has too

much decoration or detail in their clothes, and has negative connotation In OALD,