DaijvaHpC so W 20X1 JNGAY NAY ^ 63 GiAdMucalja^ NhuHg npi dung cof ban trong giao due gia dinh GIAO OUC HANH VI DAO DUfC 1 Dao ddc va hanh vi dao ddc Dao dQc la he thdng nhQng quy tac chuan mQc bieu h[.]
DaijvaHpC so W-20X1 JNGAY NAY 63 _ _ _ _ _ ^ GiAdMucalja^ NhuHg npi dung cof ban giao due gia dinh PHAM THI THU HONG TrQdng Dai hpc An Giang GIAO OUC HANH VI DAO DUfC Dao ddc va hanh vi dao ddc - Dao dQc la he thdng nhQng quy tac chuan mQc bieu hien sQ tQ nguyen, ty giac cua ngQdi quan he vdi va quan he vdi tQ nhien va xa hdi - De danh gia mdt ngQdi cd dgo dQc hay khdng, ngQdi ta can cQ vao hanh vi cua ngudi dd Hanh vi dgo dQc thQdng bieu hien hanh ddng ddi nhan xQ the, nep sdng, phong each, dieu bp cQ chf, Idi an tieng ndi Giao due hanh vi dao ddc ddi vdi cac vien gia dinh 2.1 Ddi vdi dng bd cha me - Ong ba, cha me la ngQdi Idn tudi nhat gia dinh da sud't mdt thdi lao dpng vat va, gdp phan tao dQng nen sQ nghiep va nudi dgy eon cai Vi vgy, giao dye Idng kinh trpng hieu thao dd'i vdi dng ba, cha me tQ xQa den dQPc coi la yeu td dgo dQc quan trpng nhat ddi vdi tre d gia dinh, nhQ cha dng da khang dinh: 'Trai thi trung hieu lam dau Gai thi tidt hanh Id ciu sda minh" Ndu mpt eon ngQdi khdng cd Idng hieu thao, nghTa la khdng biet tdn kinh, nhudng nhin, cham sdc dng ba, cha me nhQng ngQdi rudt thit da cd cdng sinh nudi dQdng, hp khdng the cd tinh cam yeu thUdng cdng dong, dan tpc, Idng nhan ddi vdi eon ngUdi Ndi mdt each khac "con ngUdi bat hieu thudng eung bat nhan" + Ong ba npi, ngogi deu la ngUdi cd cdng nudi dUdng cha me de hpp cdng sQc, mau thjt sinh de nudi dQdng minh Trong thQc te dng ba ngogi cung rat thQPng yeu quy trpng cac chau nhu dng ba ndi, nen tuc ngQ cd cau" "Chau ba npi tdi ba ngogi" hoac "thQ nhat la me, thQ nhi la cha, thQ ba ba ngoai" + Ong ba, cha me tudi gia sQc yeu di lai cham chgp, khd khan, cd cdn mang benh np, tat kia, chau phai vui ve niem nd, thQdng xuyen giup dd dng ba, cha me mpi mat sinh hogt nhQ di Igi, ve sinh, an ud'ng, tam giat, -I- Kinh trpng dng ba, cha me, cai phai the hien each cUxQ: ndi nang le phep, khdng cau gat day dd, to thai dp khinh mgn dng ba, cha me nham ldn, sai sdt hoac ed y ngan can nhQng suy nghT, hanh dpng chQa rd rang, minh bgch ciia minh -I- Neu biet dng ba, cha me tudi gia trai tinh, trai net, chau phai biet each chieu chupng, khdng chap nhat, coi thQdng, dung nhQng Idi le phf bang, hg nhue gay cho dng ba, cha me mdt tam ly uat Qc, phien mupn lam anh hQdng Idn den sQc khoe, tinh cam -I- Du bat ki trQdng hdp nao, ke ca luc cha me ket luan sai, ap dgt nhQng dieu khdng phu hpp cung phai binh tTnh de giai bay dung, cd tinh, cd ly "ndi phai cu cai cung phai nghe" khdng dQpc eai lai bang nhQng eau, nhQng Idi thd tuc hoac the hien nhQng hanh vi khie'm nha "gian ca chem thdt, dung da nieu" mdt each thd bgo, thgm chf cdn phai phan tfch If giai sau sic, nhe nhang, kheo leo can ngan cha me lien quan den nhQng dieu thj phi nhQ Idi cu Phan Bdi Chau da day: NhQng dieu gi tdt thi trdng cha me nen NhQng dieu hQ hen trdng cha me khoi - Giao due cho tre sQ thdng cam sau sac vdi dieu kien, hoan eanh ddi sd'ng cua gia dinh bang each cdng khai sQ thu nhap, chi tieu chi'nh dang cua cha me, de tre biet sdng "Tuy gia phong kiem" nham tao nen mpt khdng khf hda thuan, am cung, dong cam cpng kho, dUa ddi sdng gia dinh cang phat dat hPn nhu ngQdi xQa da dgy "Con khdng che cha khd, chd khdng che chu ngheo" - Phai giao dye tre biet vang Idi va biet hoan thien cdng viee mdt each vui ve cha me sai bao, khdng the de cha me phai nhac di, nhic lai nam bay lan mdi lam va the hien net mat la mot yeu td rat quan trpng qua trinh phat trien nhan each phai lam cho net mat ludn ludn tQPi tfnh hd hdi, hda vui vdi cha me, khdng the hien hanh vi mat sQng, may sfa, tieng bac, tieng ehi lam cho cha me tui cQc, budn phien Khdng an thi 6m thi gay ^ An thi nQdc mat chan day bat cdm 2.2 Ddi vdi anh chi em rudt thit Dao dQc gia dinh cdn the hien quan he giu'a anh chj em rudt thjt anh chj em, du trai hay gai deu binh dang ve nghTa vu, quyen Ipi, trach nhiem viec xay dyng td am gia dinh Vi vay cac bac cha me can: - Phai xQ sy cdng bang mpi nghTa vu trach nhiem giQa trai cung nhQ gai va giao dye y thQc trach nhiem dum bpc, tQpng trp, giup dd ldn "Mdi hd rang Ignh, mau chay rudt mem" - Giao due cho cai y thQc tdn trpng va bao ve quan he tdn ti trat ty d gia dinh the hien each Qng xQ xQng hd -I- vj tri lam anh, lam chi thi phai to rpng rai, nhQdng nhin, bao dung theo dao ly truyen thdng "huynh IQdng, de de" la "lam chj d cho lanh, lam anh d cho rdng" 0/1 U + Cdn lam em ut thi phai to Idng quy mdn, tdn trpng anh chi, nghe theo anh chj nhQng vipc phai, dieu phdi dd giQ dgo ly truyen thdng gia dinh.: "Nhudng anh, nhudng chj li nhdng ngudi trdn" Hoac: "Ghi ldng tac da did qudn Con em phii gid lay nin em' - Giao due cho eon eai du bat cQ trudng hpp ndo anh, chj em cung khdng nen ndi xau, de biu lan gay nen eanh "huynh de tuong tan", phai thang thdn, daiu tranh gdp y "ddng cua day nhau" vi tinh cdt nhye, tranh tinh trgng "anh em khinh trudc, lang nude khinh sau" HPn the nua phai giao dye cho tre xa gan, tren dudi rd rang, phan minh, chang hgn ddi vdi ngudi ft tudi hPn nhung d ehi tren cung phai gpi bSng anh, bdng chj de the hien tinh gia tpc Be xac nhung eon dng bac, to xac nhung dng chu" 2.3 Ddi vdi chu bdc, cd di Chu bac, cd di la nhung ngudi eung huyet thdng da mpt thdi sinh Idn len dudi eung mpt mai nha, eung chung bep IQa vdi cha mp, cung ddng earn eong khd tQ tudi au thP, "cung mpt khuc rudt chia ra" Vi vay, phai giao dye cho tre ludn ludn ed thai dp tdn kinh, yeu thuong, ddng cam, ndi nang, cQ xQ phai le dp, tu tdn Hp la nhung ngudi cd the thay mgt cha mp, gan gui nhat vdi minh nhQ tyc ngQ da cd cau "Mat cha edn ehu, mat me bu di" Trong trUdng hpp chu bac, ed di gap nhQng khd khan, bat trdc thi phai chia se, giup dd theo kha nang eua minh, khdng nen thd P, lanh dgm hoac to thai dp khinh thQdng, nggo mgn lam cho tinh cam huyet thdng cang phai nhat Giao due hanh vi dao ddc ddi vdi nhQng ngUdi khac - Mdi mdt ngQdi tQ cat tieng khde chao ddi cho den mat di deu gdn bd vdi hai loai quan he: dd la quan he gia dinh, gia tpc va quan he xa hdi - Quan he xa hdi la mpt quan he phQc tgp, phong phu hPn nhieu so vdi quan he gia dinh, gia tde - Vi vgy, tQ thud thp au du dang sdng phgm vi gia dinh la ehu yeu, eae bae cha me eung can phai giao due, ren luyen eho tre ed nhQng hanh vi dgo dQc ed quan he xa hdi 3.1 Gido diJC Idng nhdn di Ldng nhan ngQdi ta dQpc sinh d tren ddi, trQ nhQng ke khdng may bj mat tri, cdn thi ai eung biet cam nhan sQ sung sudng, hanh phuc, vinh dQ hay dau khd thap hen Va tat nhien nhu cau, nguyen vpng tat yeu tQ nhien la dQpc sung sQdng hgnh phuc, khdng mudn dau khd, ddi rach, tui nhye, thap hen Neu nhQ cd ngQdi phai chap nhan mpt sQ riJi ro, bat hanh nao dd eung chf vl "IQc bat tdng tam" khdng du sQc xd day khdi cupc ddi minh ma thdi Vi vay: - Giao dye Idng nhan chinh la giao dye Idng yeu thUPng ngudi, yeu thUdng ddng logi, bdi hp cung bang xQpng, bang thjt, tim de biet dau ddn, xdt xa, an can nhu ta Sy sai biet giQa loai ngQdi vdi cac loai dpng vat chinh la kha nang thau cam va ddng cam nhQng tinh cam nhan ban kinh nghiem, tinh te dac biet dd -I- Trong hpc thuyet cua khdng giao coi dQc "nhan" la dQc dQng dau dgo ly cua ngQdi trdi dat Con ngQdi cd Idng nhan se la ngQdi khdng cd hanh vi "ich kf hgi nhan" tQc la chi biet mQu md thu dogn dem Igi dieu Ipi cho minh ma khdng ddng Idng trac an den sy thiet hgi dau ddn, nang ne cua so 10-2011 DaUvaHpi •-.~- JNGAYNA' ngUdi khde vd m$t v^t chdt cQng nhu tinh thdn + Hpc thuydt "nhSn di" cua Khdng gido da neu len mpt cad tdng qudt Id bat lu^n didu gl md lam cho minh dau thUPnc mat mdt, thi^t thdi, thidn hgi hay nhan hgi gay tt cQng khdng mong cho ngQdi khde gdp phai Vi hp cung la coi ngQdi bdng xQPng b&ng thjt nhQ minh, md khdng "cua dai xdt" + Hdn thd nQa nhQng dieu gi tdt dpp minh mudn dgt dQp( nhu lam an thjnh vQdng, sQc khod ddi dao hoac ldp than nen si nghipp danh gid, cao sang thi cung mong cho ngQdi khac dgt dupe, lap dQpc nhQ nguydn vpng, ude mudn cua minh(*) Chlnh vl vgy ma cha dng ta da khuyen mdt cau rat ngSr gpn, dPn gian bao ham day du y nghTa nhan sinh cua lone nhan la: "ThQPng ngQdi nhQ thd thQPng than" va cung dUpc cy the hoa bdng nhQng hanh vi dao dQc ddi sdng hanc lan chia se, giup dd tam minh nhQng canh ddi rui ro hogn ngn, Chang hgn: "Thuang ngudi tat tii ngUgc xudi Thuong ngUdi Id bUdc, thuang ngUdi ba va Thuang ngUdi dm dit tri tha Thuang ngUdi ddi rich ndm than keu dUdng Thdy ddi rich thi thuang Rich nhudng eho mdc, ddi nhudng eho dn" Va ddng thdi cung phan ddi, che trach nhQng hanh vi xa vdi Idng nhan ai: 'Thay ddi rach thi khinh Cach ndo Id cich ich minh thi chen Hdng tay dUdi, vdt tay tren Lgc Ida tdng ti, bon chen tdng ddng" Bat ki sdng d xa hpi nao ngQdi cung phai co Idng nhan ai, yeu thQdng, ddng cam vdi ngQdi khac Vi vay, gia dinh phai ed trach nhiem giao dye pham chat dgo dQc dd cho eon eai tQ tudi au thp the hien hanh vi biet tdn trpng mpi ngUdi, khdng tham lam, ddc ac, IQa ggt, ddi tra vdi nhOng ngQdi xung quanh de trd mpt ngQdi cong dan IQdng thien, khdng he phai ban khoan, lo sd vi toa an xa hpi hoac toa an iQPng tam mdi gpi tham van Trong dieu kien cCia nen kinh te phat then theo cd che thi trQdng thi viec giao dye gia dinh ve Idng nhan cho the he tre lgi cang ed y nghTa quan trpng, nhdm giup cho cac em hinh va phat trien nhQng yeu td nhan each cija ngQdi cong dan biet dung hoa quyen Ipi giQa ca nhan va tap the, giOa gia dinh va xa hpi, gdp phan tgo mpt xa hpi cdng bang, van minh, tien bp 3.2 Giao dgc tinh khiem tdn Tinh khidm tdn: ngudi xQa da cd cau dgy rang: "cai gibiet thi ndi la biet, cai gi khdng biet thi ndi la khdng biet the mdi goi la bief'C) Dd chlnh la tinh khiem tdn, that tha - mpt pham chat vd cung quan trpng nhan each - Gia dinh phai giao dye cho tre ludn ludn to khiem t6n khdng chu quan nggo mgn tQ cho minh la hay, la biet hdn ngQdi khac Tinh khiem tdn thQdng bieu hien bang nhufng ngdn ngQ hanh vi le phep giao tiep ddi vdi mpi ngiffiii chang han: + Gap ngQdi cao tuoi, thay cd giao thi l l phep chao hoi, nhudng budc, bay to sQ trpng thj + Bat kl ddi vdi cung khdng nen ndi nang thd tuc, cd hanh (Xem tidp trang 66) 66 _ 8010-2011 DauvaHpc • - Nhufng noi dung JNGAY NAY "Kham djnh Viet sQ thdng giam cQdng myc" cung kh^ng djnh: "Xet Sy Nhiep ehl ii mgt thii thii nhi Han, chda hi xUng vuang, sd cu (tdc Dai Viet sd ky todn thd) chep ridng mdl ky, (Tidp theo trang 65) dem so vdi nghTa le chep CUOng mgc ciia Chu Td thi khdng vi gdy gd hop, tude bo di Tran Trpng Kim tdc phdm "Vi^t + ngodi dQdng cung nhQ ndi ddng ngQdi khdng nen cudi Nam sQ lupc" da viet: "Nha lim sd thudng cho nude ta cd vdn ndi ba hoa ldm cho ngQdi xung quanh khd chju Neu nhQ 13 ldi hoc la khdi diu td Sy Nhidp Cdi y kidn i'y cd le khdng phii Vi ho$c va vdp ldm phidn ngQdi khac thi phai cd Idi xin loi Ai giup ring td nhd Han sang cai trj ddt Giao Chi ddn ddi Sy Nhidp minh vi^c gl du nhd cung phSi cd Idi cam dn da dugc han 300 ndm, ngUdi Giao Chi da cd ngudi hgc hdnh DQc tinh khidm tdn khdng nhQng giup cho ngUdi ta thi dd hieu lidm, miu tai Vay ndi ring den dng Sy Nhidp mdi hpe tdp dQpc nhQng didu hay d nhidu ngQdi khac ma cdn lam cd Nho hgc thi ching sai lim ru Hodc gii dng dy li mgt ngu'di cho ngQdi ta cd phong cdch cQ xQ ehu dao, can than, cung cd van hgc rSi lim quan, lo md mang sd hqc hanh, kfnh, khdng hdp tdp, vpi vdng, khdng tranh an, tranh ndi, khoe hay giiip dd nhu'ng ki cd chu nghia, cho ndn vi sau mdi dugc khoang, phd trQdng ndng iQc cua minh Chfnh vi vay ma hp cii tieng iam hgc td d nu'dc ta, tddng nhU thi thi cd thd hgp le cang dupe nhieu ngQdi tin tQdng mdn phyc han" 3.3 Gido dgc tinh trung tht/C Sy thyc thi Sy Nhiep md trQdng hpc, dQa hdng tram s9 - Quy ludt tat ydu d l tdn tgi vd phat then cua moi ngudi b phu Trung Qudc sang Giao Chdu dd cung dng ddy mgnh vide xa h^i Id phSi giao tidp Qng xQ vdi ngQdi xung quanh truyen ba Nho giao va Han hpe nhSm myc dich ddng hod Quan h$ giao tiep, Qng xQ dd cd dat dQpc y mudn, cd thuyet nhan dan ta Viee md trudng cung chf t&p trung d Luy LSu, phyc dQpc mpi ngQdi xung quanh hay khdng, dieu dd phu Long Bien va mpt sd vung trung t&m d chdu trj, qudn tri Do thudc phdn ldn v^o dQc tinh chSn thQc eua moi ca nhan dd, anh hudng eua nhan vat ndy khdng phh'\ trdn todn lanh Trung thyc, chdn thQc, chSn th^nh deu cd y nghTa tUPng thd Du vgy, mdt each khach quan, chung ta cung thQa nhdn tQ Id ddi ldp vdi ddi trd, man tra, v.v ma cac bac cha me can rang, Sy Nhiep la ngQdi md trQdng hpc dau tien d nQdc ta, phdi quan tam giao dye cho tre tQ tudi nhd phd bien Nho giao vao nQdc ta - Con ngudi cd dQc tinh trung thQc cung chinh la ngiiSi Vdi sQc sdng mgnh me va ben bf, nhan dan ta thdi ky ludn ludn tdn trpng nhan each, pham gia eua minh, khdng de da khdng ngQng dau tranh de gJQ gi va phat huy nen giao nhQng ngQdi xung quanh coi thQdng, khinh bi, ddng thdi cung due dan toe, chdng bj ddng hoa Cupc dau tranh nham bao la ngQdi giQ dQpc chQ tin, lay ehu tin lam gdc re cho cac moi tdn nen van hoa va ban sac dan tpc, chdng Igi sQ Han hoa da quan he, cho nen dQpc mpi ngQdi tin tudng ludn dUPe tri va phat then TQ dau the ky thQ 3Trcn nQdc Trung thQc la mpt net nhan each dep cua ngUdL ta da cd ngQdi sang kinh dd Lgc DQPng nQdc Tan hpc tap, thi NhQng day la mdt net nhan each rat khd khan, phQc tap dd va lam quan Dd la Ly Ong Trpng Thdi Sy Nhiep, mdt sd qua trinh ren luyen, giao due Vi vay, cac bac cha me phai dac Nho sy Giao Chau eung da dd dgt va lam quan vdi nha Han: biet quan tam giup tre no IQc y chi, chien thdng ban than minh Ly Tien lam thQ sQ Giao Chau, Ly Cam lam tU le hieu uy, bang nhQng bilu hien cd ban: TrUPng Trpng lam thai thu Kim Thanh Thdi nha DQdng cd + Minh cd ldi thi dung cam nhan ldi khdng trdn tranh hoac KhQPng Cdng Phy lam giam nghj dgi phu, KhQPng Cdng vay eho ngudi khac Phyc lam Bae bd thj lang PhQPng thQc giao dye cdng -I- Tdn trpng sQ XhdX, khdng thay den ddi trdng, du ddng lang xa cd truyen v i n duPe tri va phat then trQdc sQ hoan canh bat Ipi cho minh Han hoa + Ldi ndi phai thdng nhat vdi vi^c lam, thyc hien dung Idi + Nen giao dye truyen thdng van cd vai trd to Idn hQa, khdng mQu md, thu dogn, IQa Ipc chilm dogt cua cai vat viec dao tgo nhQng eon ngQdi Viet Nam, lam giao dye Viet chat cua ngQdi khac Nam dupe bao ve khdng bj ddng hda ma cdn "Vipt hoa" mpt - D l cho quan h^ giOa ngQdi vdi ngQdi dQdc ben sd yeu td van hoa Trung Qud'c xam nhap vao nude ta luc bay vQng, lau dai, thQc sQ tin tQdng lln thi moi ca nhan phai gid ren luy^n dQc tinh that tha + Nhd sQc sdng ben bf dd ma ddn tpc ta khdng bj khua't Ngay nay, giao dye gia dinh Viet Nam dang dQng triidc phyc, lien tidp ndi day dau tranh gianh Igi ddc \dp dan tdc, nhQng thQ thach Idn lao, n l n kinh te theo cd che thj tniclng thoat khoi ach thdng trj cua phong kien phUPng BSe Mdt sd dang vd cung be bpn Nhieu gia trj cua cac nen van minh the Nho sy dd dgt da trd ve phyc vy cdng cudc dau tranh gianh gidi d gt du nh^p vao chQa dQpc ggn Ipc, kiim djnh dang tao dpc lap dan tde, nhu trudng hpp cua Tinh Thieu, dng hpc gioi bilt bao te ngn xa hpi lan tran, anh hQdng xaU din sU phat dd cao chf dUde bd dyng lam Quang DUPng mdn lang (chQc triin nhan each cua nhilu IQa tuoi, dac biet la IQa tudi gac cdng thanh), dng tQc gian bo ve theo Ly Bdn khdi nghTa, thilu nien - IQa tuoi dang sdng, hpc tap sQ bao trd cua gia giQ ChQc quan van ctja nudc Van Xuan dpc lap dinh Vi vay, cac bac cha mp can quan tam giao due cho tre Nhu vgy, nen giao dye Viet Nam thdi Bac thupc tdn tgi nhQng yeu td dao dQc truyen thdng tdt dep mang dam da ban song song hai logi hinh: mdt la giao dye chinh quyen sac dan tpc, du phai sQ dung d i n cac khai niem "nhin, nghk PhUdng Bac tien hanh; hai la giao dye cua quan chung nhan le, tri, tiri hay "cdng, dung, ngdn, hanh' d l dat dUdc myc dich dan Hai logi hinh myc dich, ngydi dam nhiem va ddi lam cho cai chung ta se trd nhQng ngudi cdng dan tupng thy hydng khac nhUng da gdp phan hoan thien chan chinh, lUdng thien, gdp phan tao ddi sdng hgnh philc bQc tranh chung ve giao dye Viet Nam giai dogn nay; va eua gia dinh va xa hpi quan trpng hPn la lam tien de luu giQ va phat huy truyen (Con nSaj thd'ng van hda Viet cac giai dogn tiep theo (Nguon: vicongdong.vn) ... tgp, phong phu hPn nhieu so vdi quan he gia dinh, gia tde - Vi vgy, tQ thud thp au du dang sdng phgm vi gia dinh la ehu yeu, eae bae cha me eung can phai giao due, ren luyen eho tre ed nhQng hanh... phu Trung Qudc sang Giao Chdu dd cung dng ddy mgnh vide xa h^i Id phSi giao tidp Qng xQ vdi ngQdi xung quanh truyen ba Nho giao va Han hpe nhSm myc dich ddng hod Quan h$ giao tiep, Qng xQ dd... philc bQc tranh chung ve giao dye Viet Nam giai dogn nay; va eua gia dinh va xa hpi quan trpng hPn la lam tien de luu giQ va phat huy truyen (Con nSaj thd''ng van hda Viet cac giai dogn tiep theo (Nguon: