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94 X a boi f)oc ti}t gim xa hoi hoc so- dos), 2009 M O T HINH THAI GIA DINH M I THUY DIEN VA MAY VAN DE DAT RA CHO XA H O I HOC GIA DINH MAI HUY BICH* Nhieu ngfldi thfldng cho rang gia dinh cham thay ddi, va theo nghia dd, rat bao thu Tuy nhien, gia dinh d Thuy Dien da cho tha'y a'n tfldng tren la sai Niia sau the ky XX vfla qua, gia dinh d Thuy Dien da bien ddi rl't n h a n h chdng va sau sac Khdng it ngfldi d the gidi ben ngoai vfla lam quen nhflng chfla bet sdc vdi hien tfldng nam nfl chung sd'ng (thay vi ket hdn theo truyen thd'ng xa hdi Thuy Dien), thi d day lai xua't hien mdt xu hfldng mdi: tao lap cap ddi vdi nhau, nhflng nhieu nam nfl tham ehi khdng chung sd'ng, ma cflng sd'ng rieng, mdi ngfldi mdt nha Hp chi den vdi vao nhflng dip nhat dinh (ngay nghi cud'i t u l n , le hdi v.v.) Cach s l p xep dfldc goi tieng Anh la "living apart together" (viet t i t t h a n h LAT) (nghia den: sd'ng rieng cflng nhau; nghia rdng: cap ddi sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mot ndi Bai viet stf dung nghla rdng eua khai niem) Dfla tren nhflng nghien cflu ban dau cua d e nha xa hdi hpc Thuy Dien (Levin and Trost, 2003; Levin, 2004) bai vidt xin gidi thieu ddi net ve hien tfldng nay, va tfl dd neu len may van de ma nd dat vdi xa hdi hpc gia dinh Trong dfl lieu ve cac cap ddi mdi ngfldi sd'ng mdt ndi dfldc khai t h i e tfl d e nghien cflu ciia Thuy Dien, thi suy ngam vd nhflng van de ma hien tfldng a'y dat la ciia ca nhan t i e gia, dfla tren d dfl lieu l l n nhflng didu tai nghe m l t tha'y nam (1993 - 1998) theo hpc tai da't nfldc Ble Au I l/U THE CUA GLA DINH Ly giai vi ngfldi ta xay dflng gia dinh hoac quan he gan gid'ng nhfl gia dinh mac dfl hp ed the d nhflng hoan d n h het sfle khd khan cho cudc sd'ng gia dinh (vi du hp dang bi tfl, dang ed chien tranh, benh dich hay sfle ep chinh tri mud'n giam vai trd cua ddn vi xa hdi ay v.v.), mdt cudn giao trinh xa hpi hoc gia dinh ndi tieng nhan de "The family" cua W Goode - da tdng ket nhflng flu the cua gia dinh so vdi canh sdng ddc than Dieu dang ndi d day la cud'n sach tflng gay nhieu anh hfldng manh me vfldt ngoai bien gidi cua qud'c gia xuat than cua nd (tflc nfldc My) Uu the Cd ban thU nhd't la stf phan cdng lao ddng va k h a nang trao ddi gifla chdng va Vd, cha me va cai vdi ket qua la moi ngfldi dfldc hfldng hang loat dich vu ma neu ben ngoai gia dinh thi ngfldi ta phai tra tidn ThQ hai, gia dinh tiet kiem dfldc mpt sd khoan chi tieu nhd cdng tac ddng ngfldi (ma each ndi dan gian ngfldi Kinh gpi la "them ngfldi an chi d n them dua them bat" chfl khdng phai them cdng mua ban n i u nfldng) ThQ ba la tinh lien tuc, dam bao cho cac t h a n h vien dfldc thu hfldng each lam dn va tra dn lau dai hdn h i n so vdi sfl trao ddi vdi ngtfdi ngoai ThQ 'PGS.TS, Vien Xd hoi hoc Mai Huy Bich 95 tQ, vdi tfl each mdt nhdm than tinh, giao tiep gia dinh r l t ngin gon va chu dao, theo dung sd thich khau vi rieng cua ca nhan Cudi cung, nhieu nhu clu efla ngfldi dfldc thoa man tai gia ma khdi d n ehuyen gia Tdm lai, cud'n sach khlng dinh: "Khdng the che xa hdi nao khac mang lai ea ehudi nhflng flu the bd sung, chia se, dan xen va gin bd qua lai chat che nhfl the^' (Goode, 1982:10-11) c a u hdi dat d day la nhflng flu the ke tren cd dung vdi cac cap ddi mdi ngfldi sdng mdt ndi hay khdng? Ndi each khac, flu the dd dfldc coi la cua gia dinh ndi chung hay chi cua mdt hinh thai gia dinh eu the? II VAl NET VE CAC CAP DOI SONG RIENG MOI NGUOl M O T N O I The ndo Id "cap doi sdng rieng moi ngUdi mgt ndi"? Day la nhflng cap khdng d chung vdi nhau; thay vao dd, moi ngfldi sd'ng mdt nha, ndi ngfldi cung cd the d Hp coi minh la mdt cap ddi, va cam nhan ring nhflng ngfldi than can xung quanh hp cung thfla nhan nhfl vay Tdm lai, cd dieu kien: Ca hai ngfldi phai ddng y r i n g hp la mdt cap; nhflng ngfldi khac than can vdi bp cung thfla nhan nhfl vay; va hp phai sd'ng mdi ngfldi d mdt nha rieng (Levin, 2004: 226 - 227) Bao nhieu ngUdi thudc nhQng "cap doi sdng rieng moi ngUdi mgt ncfi"? Theo dfl lieu cudc didu tra ba ddt tidn hanh eac nam 1993, 1998 va 2001 (vdi mot cau hdi chinh nhfl sau: "Quy vi ed sd'ng mdt md'i quan he gid'ng nhfl vd chdng vdi mdt dd ma van gifl nha rieng khdng?"), thi nam 1993, 6% nhflng ngfldi dfldc hdi dang cac cap ddi sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi Dfl lieu cho phep suy ring khoang 60 000 cap, tfle 120.000 ngfldi dang cd quan be LAT Ti le dd tang len qua cac ddt dieu tra: nam 1998 la 12%, tflc khoang 130 000 cap vdi 260 000 ngfldi; va nam 2001 la 14%, nghia la khoang 150 000 cap vdi 300 000 ngfldi (Levin, 2004: 228 - 229) NhQng ngUdi cdc "cap doi sdng rieng moi ngUdi mgt ndi" Id ai? Ngfldi ta thfldng ndi la quan he sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi ehi cd the xay vdi nhflng manh ve tai chinh Tat nhien sfl vflng manh ve tai chinh khien ngfldi ta de tri hai nep nha v l ddn gian hda khoang d e b khdng gian gifla hai ndi, vi nd giup hp di tra chi phi di lai cung nhfl lien lac vdi (qua dien thoai dfldng dai v.v.) hdn Tuy nhien, kdt qua nghien cflu cho tha'y quan he LAT ed d tat d cac nhdm thu nhap (Levin and Trost, 2003: 286) Cung xet tren phfldng dien tai chinh, thi viee don den d vdi la dieu hdp ly ddi vdi nhieu hoac b l u bet d e cap, va ly that de hieu: d mdt nha re bdn gifl hai nha Song nhieu (neu khdng ndi la b l u bet) d e trfldng bdp, ca hai ben dfldng sfl deu da ed s i n mdi ngfldi mdt nha rieng hp gap Nhfl vay, hp da quen vdi nha rieng eua minh va quen vdi viec tra chi phi rieng, nen viec ket ddi ma van sdng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi khdng van de tai chinh dd'i vdi ho Hdn the nfla, stf hdp ly tai ehinh khdng phai cung la mdt vdi sfl hpp ly ye mat xa hdi Cd nhflng ly xa hdi va sfl hdp ly vd mat xa hdi khien ngfldi ta sd'ng rieng, va day la dieu chung ta se xem xet tidp theo day 96 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd Ly tgo "cap doi sd'ng rieng mdi ngUdi mdt ncfi" Cd the chia nhflng cap ddi sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi t h a n h hai nhdm: Nhflng ngfldi se sd'ng cung nhau, nhflng hien phai quyet dinh khdng sd'ng cung vi ly hay khlc; Nhflng ngfldi se khdng sd'ng cung dfl ho cd the lam the, song hp van mud'n la mdt cap .;• ' : c• Sau day chung ta se xem xet eu the hdn hai nhdm ' ••• " 1) Trflde bet la nhdm nhflng ngfldi hien khdng sd'ng cung vi nhflng ly dac biet nao dd, nhflng se sd'ng cung neu hoan canh thay ddi Cac ly bao gdm: Vi cd nhd Day la nhflng ngfldi da ly hdn va cd eon cai tfl cudc hdn n h a n (hoac md'i quan he sd'ng chung) trflde dd Mdt hai ngfldi nay, hay ca hai, cd nhd (du sdng vdi bd me hoae khdng) Mdt hai hay ca hai ngfldi cap khdng mud'n ngfldi dpn vao d chung, de vi ldi ich ciia cai Dfldi day la mdt vi du Fred va Freda ban dau la mdt cap khdng ket hdn, sd'ng theo kieu LAT, nhflng sau dd hp kdt hdn, song v i n gifl quan he LAT cho den ta't ca d i cua hai ben theo tap quan ciia ngfldi Thuy Dien - da rdi nha bd' me Vao thdi diem phdng vin, Fred 56 tudi va Freda 51 Hp gap 10 nam trflde, ca hai da ly hdn va cd tfl cudc hdn nhan dd: ba eon ciia Fred edn dang sd'ng vdi anh, anh cham nudi Khi a'y, tudi cua cac anh l l n Ifldt la 14, 16 va 20 Cdn Freda ed hai eon, 10 va 14 tudi, cflng ehi nudi Hp quyet dinh r i n g hp se khdng dpn den sdng cung cho ddn " eon rieng ciia hp deu Idn va rdi nha Ca hai sd'ng d cflng mpt t h a n h phd, chi each 15 phut di lai b l n g giao thdng cdng cdng Khi mdi xac lap quan he vdi nhau, ho qua dem d nha vao dip cud'i tuan, va khdng ndi cho d i minh biet ve quan he that vdi nhau, ma ehi gidi thieu vdi eon eai rang hp la nhflng ngfldi ban cu va td't ciia Khdng mud'n thflc ep ngfldi hoac mud'n minh hi thuc ep phai xac lap quan he vdi eon d i ciia Sau mdt thdi gian, eon eai cua ca hai ngfldi chap - j nhan quan be mdi ciia cha me chung Hai nam trflde cudc phdng van, hai ngfldi ket hdn, nhflng v i n sdng rieng Roi sau dd, hp dpn den sd'ng chung, ket thuc 10 nam quan he sd'ng rieng moi ngfldi mdt ndi nhfl the (Levin, 2004: 230-231) Vi chdm sdc cha me Mdt hai ngfldi cap nam nfl kieu da trfldng nhflng khdng tach d rieng nhfl thdng le d Thuy Dien, ma v i n sdng chung vdi cha me Va cha me gia eua hp cung khdng (hoae chfla) sd'ng d cac trai dfldng lao (hay cdn gpi la "Nha Gia") Hp gap ban tinh, va quyet dinh sd'ng quan he LAT thay vi dpn den d vdi Cach s l p xep cd the keo dai nhidu nam Du hp thich nd hay khdng, nhflng hp chap nhan nd nhfl mdt giai phap cho tdi ngfldi cha hoae ngfldi me qua ddi hay cha me dm nang va gia yeu tdi mflc khdng cdn giai phap nao khac ngoai viec dfla vao trai dfldng lao Hp thich d lai mdi trfldng quen thudc, tiep tuc gifl trach nhiem vdi cha me, ddng thdi v i n gifl quan he cap ddi vdi ban tinh dang sd'ng d nha rieng Nhd the, hp cd ca hai, chfl khdng phai Itfa chpn gifla cha me gia vdi ban tinh Mai Huy Bich gj N6t chung d d hai phan nhdm: nhflng cap khdng dpn ve d vdi vi phai cham sdc va thflc thi trach nhiem vdi ngfldi than Hp d m nhan minh la quan trpng vdi ngfldi than, va xac dinh tinh huo'ng ciia minh la tinh hudng cham sde va trach nhiem Trong trfldng hdp nay, sfl cham sde va trach nhiem dd'i vdi ngfldi khac la quan trpng hdn sfl cham sde va trach nhiem dd'i vdi ban than (Levin and Trost, 2003: 279) Vdi cha me gia, nhflng ngfldi chpn sd'ng quan he LAT khdng mud'n de cha me sdng mdt minh, vi lam the nghia la day cha me vao trai dfldng lao Vdi eon nhd tfl cupc hdn nhan da dd vd, nhflng ngfldi khdng nhan trach nhiem nudi va cham sdc cung cho ring: neu dpn den d nha ban tinh mdi hoac dfla ban tinh mdi ve sdng vdi minh thi dd ddu nhfl mdt sfl dd'i tra cdi (Levin, 2004: 230) Nhflng ngfldi coi quan he cap ddi la sfl bd sung (addition) cho nhflng quan he ma hp vd'n cd vdi cha me gia va cai nhd, chfl khdng phai sfl thay the quan he vdn da sin ed ay Quan he cap ddi mdi khdng dfldc phep de doa hoae thay the nhflng quan he san ed "Mdt d m thflc trach nhiem manh me phai cham sde eon nhd va cha me gia da ed d nhflng ngfldi rat lau trflde hp gap ban tinh mdi Trong vi du nay, nhflng ngfldi tra ldi d m thay hp la nhQng tha nhdn quan trgng (significant others) dd'i vdi cha me va eon cai hp Ndu hp khdng banh ddng theo dung cam thflc trach nhiem, hp biet se dan den d m giae tdi ldi" (Levin, 2004: 231) Vi ldm viec (hay hgc tap) d nhQng ndi khde Phan nhdm gdm h i u hdt la nhflng cap dang di lam hoac di hpc, va hp cho ring hp sdng rieng la hoan d n h cdng viec Hp khdng mudn hoac khdng the dpn den d cflng nhau, ma gifl hai nep nha Song hp coi day chi la tam thdi Hp biet ring neu hp dpn den ndi d ciia ban tinh, hp se khdng cd ed hdi lam viee gid'ng nhfl hien tai Ngay ndu nhfl mdt ngfldi sd hp ed the nudi dfldc ngfldi kia, nhflng ho khdng chap nhan dieu dd Dd'i vdi nhflng ngfldi nay, sd'ng ddc lap la rat quan Day la dieu ma mdt s d n h a quan sat cd the coi la xu hfldng tien tdi ca nhan hda Tuy nhien, ca mdi quan he vdi ban tinh l l n cdng viec ddu rat quan trpng ddi vdi ho, va ho khdng mudn Ilia chpn chi mdt, ma mud'n ed ea bai Do ket qua eua quydt dinh ma ho phai sd'ng rieng Mdt eac cap tham gia cudc nghien cflu da kdt hdn tfl nam 1981, nhflng hai ngfldi sd'ng d hai chau lue khac nhau: chi sdng d Ble Au, edn anh d Bac My (Canada) Cd thdi ky chi sd'ng vdi anh d Ble My, va cflng cd thdi ky anh sd'ng vdi chi tai Bac Au Ho coi ca hai ndp nha la cua minh, nhflng tra tien nha eua ngfldi ay Neu mdt hai thieu tien de tri ndp nha, ngfldi se gdp mdt khoan tien ma khdng doi hdi hoan tra tfldng lai Khoan tien dd khdng dfldc coi la cho vay, ma la ddng gop cho cudc sdng cflng quan he LAT (Levin and Trost, 2003: 280) Trflde ngfldi ta ky vpng r i n g phu nfl dpn den nha chdng, tfl bd cdng viec va ban be, ngfldi quen cua chi Nay thi ngfldi ta chap nhan r i n g chi cd the gifl cdng viec va ban be, cung nhfl quan he vdi eon cai va cha me ddng thdi v i n cd quan he vdi ban tinh vdn sdng d nha khac (Levin and Trost, 2003: 280) Trflde ngfldi ta giai quyet v i n de dfldi binh thflc thd hien tinh yeu nhfl sau: "Neu em yeu anh, em se chuyen den d cflng anh!" Cdng viee va ban tinh dfldc coi nhfl canh tranh vdi nhau, va ngfldi ta phai chpn mdt hai Cung trflde kia, ehinh 98 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd phu nfl la ngfldi phai hi sinh ndi d, cdng viec va ban be minh de dpn den d vdi ngfldi nam gidi ciia minh Ngay nay, ehi ed the gifl ndi d, cdng viec va ban be cua minh, cung nhfl quan he vdi eon cai, cha me va ban be, ddng thdi van cd quan he vdi mpt ngfldi dan dng minh yeu ma v i n gifl dfldc nha rieng (Levin, 2004: 232) Nhflng ngfldi g i n ve hflu ed the thay ddi tinh the mdt hai ngfldi nghi hflu Phan nhdm cung bao gdm nhflng sinh vien dang hoe d cae phd'khac LAT dd'i vdi hp chi la tam thdi Khi td't nghiep, mdt ngfldi se dpn den chd ngfldi kia, va hai hd se nhap lam mdt neu hp tim dfldc viee lam d cung mdt chd Cac cap kieu nhin cudc sd'ng nhfl mdt qua trinh ludn ludn thay ddi Cac quyet dinh ma hp dfla ehi la cho mdt thdi ky nao da'y; tinh hinh cdng viec eua hp thay ddi, hp ed the thay ddi each s l p xep chd d 2) Bay gid chung ta hay xet nhdm thfl hai: nhflng ngfldi khdng mud'n sd'ng chung nhflng van mud'n la mdt cap Hp cd nhflng ly sau day: Khong mud'n lap lqi sai ldm Nhflng ngfldi da tflng nhieu nam sd'ng quan he vd chdng truyen thd'ng nhflng kdt thue b l n g ly hdn hay ly than Bay gid, thtf mdt lan nfla, hp ed g i n g slp xep tinh hinh cho khdng lap lai sai lam cu Giai p h l p sd'ng d hai nha la dfla tren ed sd phan tieh hflu thflc hoae vd thflc xem didu gi da sai quan he xfla cu, va tranh lap lai mdt cudc chia lia mdi (Levin and Trost, 2003: 280) Chung ta hay xet mpt trfldng hdp cu the sau day Mdt phu nfl da ket hdn 23 nam, ed ba eon Mdt hdm, chdng ehi dd nghi ly hdn (anh da b i t dau quan he vdi cd thfl ky cua minh) Ca the gidi nhfl sup dd dd'i vdi chi, nhflng rut cue chi vfldt qua dfldc edn choang sdc Thdi gian qua di, cud'i cflng ehi da gap va yeu mdt ngfldi dan dng mdi Anh sd'ng each nha ehi ntfa gid lai xe, va anh mud'n hp dpn den d chung nhfl mpi cap ddi khac Tuy nhien, ehi lo r i n g minh se lap lai sai lam cu Cudc ly hdn qua la cu sd'c q u i Idn, va chi mud'n lam mpi viee de tranh phai nem lai trai nghiem ay Chi tfl chdi sd'ng chung mdt nha vdi anh, khdng phai vi khdng yeu anh, ma trai lai, ehi yeu anh r l t nhidu Nhflng ehi ndi r i n g chi tha sd'ng mdt minh, ehi gap anh vao mdi cud'i tuan v l dip nghi phep hdn la sd'ng vdi anh 100% thdi gian, roi rat cd the phai chia tay mpt lln nfla Theo ldi chi, chi tii biet minh (khdng phai mdt phu nfl hap d i n ) Chi e r i n g neu sd'ng dfldi cung mdt mai nha, chi cd the lap lai chinh nhflng dieu khien chi trd nen nham chan dd'i vdi chdng cu Chi quyet dinh sd'ng quan he LAT de tri md'i quan he ndng t h I m va hoc dfldc bai hpc tfl kinh nghiem da qua (Levin, 2004: 234) Cdc cap dd vi hQu ' • Day la nhflng ngfldi nghi hflu, mud'n gifl ndp nha cua minh ma v i n cd quan he "yeu dfldng" Neu dpn ddn d cflng nhau, hp se phai hi sinh nhidu thfl, vi du song d dau, se dpn tdi nha (chfl khdng phai dfldng nhien ngfldi phu'nfl phai theo chdng nhfl d Viet Nam) Hp cd nhieu dd dac, va nhflng dd dae ay g i n vdi nhflng quang ddi khdng the nao quen, nen ra't quan ddi vdi hp (Levin and Trost, 2003- 281) Mai Huy Bich gg Hp cung cd the da cd va chau, va hp mud'n tri quan he dfldc coi la rat quan trpng vdi eon chau Hp tin r i n g dieu dd ed the dfldc thflc hien di dang hdn neu ho sdng quan he LAT vdi ban tinh Mdt phu nfl sd'ng each ban tinh 30 km, va gap dng vao thfl tfl hang t u l n cung nhfl mdi dip cud'i tuln Ho cung nghi phep cung Hp khdng bao gid ban den viec dpn den d chung Ngfldi phu nfl cho ring hien ba da dat dfldc nhflng gi ba mong mud'n tfl chinh md'i quan he nay, va cd gi ba phai thay ddi dieu dd? Trflde day, ba ed l l n cam thay hi xuc pham vi viec dng phe phan quan he ciia ba vdi dfla eon rieng (ngfldi eon trai sd'ng d ndi khac, nhflng mdi lln cau ve tham me, dng ban tinh cua me cho r i n g ba qua thien vi vdi cau, va dieu dd khidn ba khdng the chip nhan) Hien tai, quan he gifla dng va ba da binh thfldng trd lai Ba rat hanh phuc vdi tinh the hien nay, va dng cung rat hai long Theo ba, mdt nhflng dieu ba thich nha't d md'i quan he la nhflng bfla an td'i chu nhat: ba lai xe chd ca hai den mdt thi tran ben canh va dng tra tien cho bfla td'i cua ca hai d mdt nha hang rat d i chiu (Levin, 2004: 235) Mdt phu nfl khac cung da ve hflu Ba gap ban tinh eua minh 10 nam ve trflde Ong da va hien vin dang sd'ng d Dan Mach, cdn ba sd'ng d Thuy Dien Theo ldi ke, thi hdi cdn dang lam viec, ba dfl tinh r i n g vd hflu, ba se dpn den d cung dng Nhflng rut cue nghi hflu ba lai quydt dinh khdng thflc hien dfl tinh ay Ba cho ring viee dpn den d cung se khien cudc sd'ng hang eua hp se trd nen nham chan Ba thich vfldt bien blng pha den vdi dng mdi dip cudi tuln, va dng se ben d n g ddn ba vdi bd hoa hdng tren tay Ba tin r i n g thdi gian ben ciia hp van la mdt cudc phieu lflu ky thu, va day la dieu ba thich hdn ban so vdi viec d chung mdt nha (Levin and Trost, 2003: 282) Rd rang it nhat dd'i vdi nhflng ngfldi nay, canh sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi mang lai chd hp sfl thoa man, hai Idng, va theo nghia dd, nd ed nhieu ldi the hdn la viec sd'ng chung mdt nha Cu the, dd la ndi mong mdi cud'i tuln, la phong vi va mau sic lang man tren bdng hdng gap mat - nhflng dieu khd ma tri ddi thfldng dfldi cflng mdt m l i nha TQ chung song tdi LAT Mdt sd ngfldi thud ban dau thi chung sd'ng vdi nhau, nhflng sau mdt thdi gian, quan he ciia hp trd nen nham chan va lung cung Tuy nhien, hp van cdn yeu nhau, nen ho quydt dinh tach rdi ra: mdt ngfldi ehuyen mdt can hd gin dd Con eai sdng vdi me, song dng bd v i n thfldng trd ve nha cu Vay LAT la giai phap cho mot mdi quan he khd khan ma khdng pha vd nd (Levin and Trost, 2003: 282) Mdt vi du la tinh canh cua Per va Inger Gap 20 nam trflde, hp ket ddi va don den d cflng Hp da ed hai eon Nhflng sau mdt thdi gian chung sdng, quan he gifla hp trd nen nham chan va xau di Ho bfle minh vdi vi nhieu ehuyen nho nhat ddi thfldng Vin cdn yeu nhau, nhflng mdt nam trflde dfldc phdng van, hp quyet dinh tach d rieng Hp bdn can hd chung, va mua hai can hd mdi nhd bdn, chi each vai phut di bd Con eai sd'ng vdi me, nhflng ea hai v i n danh nhieu thi gid v6i bd Ve p h i n minh, ngfldi bd cung danh nhieu thdi gian sdng d can hd cua ba me (vd'n Idn hdn can hd cua anh) Day la each cflu van quan he cua hp, md'i quan he ma theo y kien cua ca hai ngfldi la se cham dflt ndu khdng ed each s l p xep LAT Hp v i n mud'n tiep tuc quan he 100 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd vdi nhau, nhflng cudc sd'ng hang qua phfle tap de cd the chia se 100% vdi ngfldi Vdi giai phap bai can hd, hp hi vpng gifl dfldc md'i quan he va v i n la ngfldi cha ngfldi me tdt (Levin and Trost, 2003: 282) LAT vdi tu cdch Id sd'ng thQ Mdt sd' cap nhin LAT nhfl thdi ky thii thich Neu hp v i n tha'y thoai m l i vdi sau thdi ky nay, hp se dpn den cflng nhau; b l n g khdng, hp se pha bd nd (Levin and Trost, 2003: 283) Tdm lai, ro rang gia dinh d Thuy Dien da va dang bien ddi sau sic Trflde kia, ngfldi ta phai kdt hdn de sd'ng cflng nhau; chi hdn nhan mdt cap ddi mdi thflc sfl dfldc coi la mdt cap Tuy nhien, d ntfa sau the ky XX, mdi d nhan cd the tfl chpn ban tinh va sd'ng vdi ma khdng c i n qua ba't cfl thii tuc phap ly nao - mdt hien tfldng dfldc gpi la "chung sd'ng" (cohabitation) Du vay, ngoai nghi le ket hdn ra, gifla chung sd'ng va ket hdn cd nhieu diem gidng Nhflng ngfldi chpn hai hinh t h i i gia dinh deu sd'ng cung mdt nha, chia se "ban an va gifldng ngu" Con d i hp khdng quan tam lam vdi viee cha me chung ed ket hdn bay khdng - Bay gid, vdi sfl xuat hien ciia LAT, viec ngfldi ta cd d chung cung nha vdi hay khdng khdng edn la tieu chuan quan trpng de trd t h a n h mdt cap Hdn the nfla, he thd'ng hdn nhan truyen thd'ng trflde nam 1970 d Thuy Dien va nhieu nfldc phfldng Tay, cd bd'n ydu to' g i n chat vdi vd mat thdi gian: L i cfldi Dpn den d cung Cd quan he tinh due vdi va ed dau Idng khoang nam sau dd > He thd'ng hdn nhan truyen thd'ng quy dinh mdt chuan mflc ve t r a t tfl thdi gian cho bdn yeu td' tren, nghla la ngfldi ta phai lan Ifldt di tflng bfldc dau tien cho den bfldc thfl tfl Bfldc va g i n nhfl tien hanh cung mpt d nhieu xa hdi, cdn vdi bfldc thi khdng phai cap ddi nao cung that stf tuan thu trat tfl thdi gian quy dinh tren Vdi hien tfldng chung sd'ng va LAT, bd'n yeu to, bdn bfldc tren m l t di sfle manh chuan mflc ciia nd va khdng edn g i n ket vdi nfla Dd qua la mdt bien ddi sau sac: mdt hinh thai gia dinh mdi da xuat hien Tuy nhien, gidi xa hdi hpc chfla theo kip vdi bidn ddi nay: cdn rat it nghien cflu ye nd, va tham chi nd edn chfla dfldc dinh danh eu the va chinh xac tfl vflng chuyen mdn ciia xa hdi hoc gia dinh Ten gpi "LAT" la nhflng ngfldi cudc tii dat (Levin, 2004: 227-228) Mdt sd ngfldi tham ehi cdn chfla ddng y ve viee ed nen coi day la gia dinh hay khdng? Dfl d o a n tflcTng lai c u a LAT Theo cac nha xa hpi hpc Thuy Dien, LAT da tdn tai tfl lau trflde nd dfldc thfla nhan, va thflc ra, nd xuat hien khdng rieng ehi d Thuy Dien, ma ca d nhieu nfldc chau Au khac nhfl Dan Mach, Na Uy, Ha Lan, Phap va Dfle (Levin, 2004: 227-228) Xu hfldng se la: ti le ly hdn va ly than cang cao, thi cang d i xay kha nang hinh khdng ehi cac cudc tai hdn, tai chung sd'ng, ma ea LAT "Stf thfla nhan quan he LAT nhfl mdt hien tfldng mdi d dam bay nfldc phfldng Tay va stf gia tang t i n so'cua Mai Huy Bich 201 nd ma ngfldi ta ghi lai dfldc, cung nhfl viec cdng chung cang biet nhieu hdn ve quan he LAT se la nhflng nhan td dang van hanh hien ma mpt nao dd tfldng lai se xac lap LAT nhfl mdt the chd xa hdi dfldc chap thuan va ndi chung thfla nhan d nhieu nfldc khac nfla" (Levin, 2004: 238) HI MAY VAN DE DAT RA CHO XA HOI HOC GIA DINH Cdn nhieu didu chung ta mud'n tim hieu nhflng chfla bidt ve cac cap ddi sdng ri§ng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi Vi du: neu hp sinh eon chung, lieu bp cd dpn den d cung khdng? Mdt dfla nhd ddi hdi rat nhieu d cha me, va d n h sd'ng mdi ngtfdi mot ndi khd Idng dap flng dfldc nhflng ddi hdi dd Chung ta cung khdng rd nhflng didn bien mdi n h i t hien (cudc khung hoang tai ehinh dang xay tren quy md the gidi) cd tac ddng gi ddn LAT hay khdng? Tuy nhien, vdi nhflng gi da biet, ed the ndi: hinh thai gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien r l t ed the gay cu "sd'c" vd van hda cho khdng it ngfldi Viet Nam Ly la ddi vdi ho, nd da khdng tuan thii mpi chuan mflc va quan niem thdng thfldng ve gia dinh Nhflng vi thfldng "la'y tdc ngfldi eua minh lam trung tam", tflc quen vdi ldi tfl coi cac phfldng thflc suy nghi va hanh ddng ndn van hda cua tdi la dung, cdn phfldng thflc cua cac nen van hda khac, ndu nd khdng gid'ng vdi nen van hda cua tdi, thi la sai; va eai gi quen thudc la td't, cdn d i gi khdng quen thudc hay xa la la xau Vi the ho khdng tan thanh, tham ehi len an hinh thai gia dinh mdi cua Thuy Dien Tuy nhien, ndu binh tinh lai sau cu sd'c va gat sang ben nhflng kie'n dao dfle va thien kien "lay tdc ngfldi ciia minh lam trung tam" vd'n da trd tham can cd' de tam tri nhieu hoc gia Viet Nam, chung ta tha'y LAT budc gidi nghien cflu xa hdi hoc gia dinh phai khao s i t nd sau rdng hdn nfla, va suy tfl vd nhflng chii de sau day: 1) Dieu dang ndi d cud'n giao trinh xa hdi hoc gia dinh cua Goode ma ta da neu d tren la sach da md ngd chfl khdng dfla mdt dinh nghia cu the nao vd gia dinh Ly la tac gia mud'n de danh chd cho stf mudn hinh mudn ve eua cac hinh thai cua gia dinh Ong khlng dinh: bat ky nhdm hay td chflc nao cd sau dac diem sau day deu ed the dfldc coi la gia dinh ThQ nhd't, it n h i t ed hai ngfldi trfldng khac gidi cfl tru cung ThQ hai, hp tham gia mdt sfl phan cdng lao ddng vdi nhau, tflc la ea hai khong cflng iam mdt sd nhiem vu ThQ ba, hp tham gia nhieu kieu trao ddi ve kinh te va xa hpi, tfle la hp lam cac viec cho ThQ tU, hp chia se nhieu dieu nhfl ifldng thuc thflc pham, tinh due, nha d, hang hoa va boat ddng xa hdi ThQ ndm, ngfldi Idn thi lam cha lam me, va tre em thi gifl vai trd lam ThQ sdu, eon d i cd quan he anh chi em, bao gdm nghia vu va trach nhiem, vdi (Goode, 1982:9) Tuy nhien, LAT da cho thay khai niem truyen thd'ng ve gia dinh hien dang gap rlt nhieu thach thflc ciia nhflng phfldng thflc mdi s l p xe'p ddi sd'ng rieng tfl Va quan hdn, dfl rat md ngd vdi kha nang da dang cua cac hinh thai gia dinh tren the gidi, nhflng Goode v i n xuat phat tfl mdt tien de mac dinh rang gia dinh phai cfl tru chung: "Nhfl vay, neu hai ngfldi Idn sd'ng cflng nhau, nhflng ehlng lam gi cho nhau, it ngfldi se coi r i n g dd la mdt gia dinh Neu hp tham ehi khdng sdng cung nhau, cang it ngifdi gpi cap ddi ay la mdt gia dinh" (Goode, 1982:9) Ndi each khac, Goode coi viec ciing cfl trfl dfldng nhien la dieu kien de hdp gia dinh Nhfl the, neu theo va ap dung quan niem cua Goode thi LAT khdng phai gia 102 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd dinh Song nhflng ngfldi chpn LAT cho r i n g hp la gia dinh Dieu dd ham y rang cd nhidu quan niem khac vd the nao la mdt gia dinh va nhieu each dinh nghia gia dinh Vay thi ehflng ta nen dinh nghia gia dinh can cfl vao tieu chuan chung sd'ng hay vao cdch s l p xep mdi? Dfla tren quan niem truyen thd'ng (phai ed bd'n yeu td ndi tren vdi trinh tfl thdi gian chat che) hay thfla nhan nhflng hinh thai phi truyen thd'ng? Theo quan diem nhflng ngfldi ngoai hay quan diem ngfldi cudc? Neu gidi hpc thuat chpn theo quan diem ngfldi ngoai, thi du LAT cd dfldc ben ngoai thfla nhan hay khdng, nhflng ngfldi cudc v i n coi n h a u la mdt gia dinh va sd'ng gia dinh Trong mdt xa hdi da bien ehuyen tdi chd coi gia dinh la ehuyen rieng tfl, eac ca nhan tfl dinh lieu va giai quyet nhfl Thuy Dien, thi quan diem cua nhflng ngfldi cudc d n dfldc tinh den 2) Ke't hdn rdi sd'ng cung nha vdi la nhflng bfldc va nhflng hinh thai slp xep cupc sd'ng phd bien khdng rieng d mdt ndn van hda, mdt xa hpi nao, ma ca d pham vi thd gidi, ddn mflc hau het chung ta cho la dfldng nhien cap hdn nhan se sdng chung dfldi mdt mai nha vdi nhau, va dflt khoat phai nhfl the Nhflng trfldng hdp d rieng, chdng Nam vd Bac (hay ndi theo khau ngfl dan gian ngfldi Kinh la "vd chdng Ngau") bi xem la ngoai le va bat kha khang, hoan d n h b i t budc Chi den xuat hien cap ddi tfl nguyen va ehu ddng chpn elch sd'ng rieng mdi ngfldi mdt ndi LAT, ngfldi ta mdi giat minh nhan thay r i n g hinh thai bet sfle phd bien a'y te chi la mpt nhidu, rat nhieu hinh thai ed the ed tren ddi ' -i , Nhfl Goode da vach rd tren day, hinh thai phd bien dd (tflc sd'ng chung cung nha) cd vd sd' flu the so vdi ldi sd'ng dde than Tuy nhien, vdi sfl xul't hien va lan rdng eua cae cap ddi mdi ngfldi sd'ng mdt ndi, ngfldi ta mdi vd le hai dieu ThQ nhdt, du Goode bet sfle md ngd dinh nghia ve gia dinh de ed the bao quat dfldc sfl da dang van hda, nhflng cdc Qu the dd chi Id cua mpt hinh thdi gia dinh cu the, tQc hinh thdi cung cQ tru Tide thay, nhQng Qu the dd dd bi khdi qudt hda len thdnh cua gia dinh chung, Goode ddng nhl't gia dinh cung cfl t r u vdi gia dinh ndi chung Ong tham chi coi sfl cung cfl tru la dieu kien d n de tao nen mpt gia dinh, va dieu ro rang khdng khdp vdi nhflng gia dinh kieu LAT ThQ hai, ngoai va ben canh nhflng flu the ke tren, hinh t h i i cfl tru cung da bdc Id nhieu han che', nhat la d nhflng xa hdi coi trpng va nha'n manh quan he ddi Ifla gifla nam vdi nfl, nhflng cud'n sach Goode khdng ndi mdt ldi nao ve nhflng bat ldi (neu cd) eua gia dinh so vdi d n h sd'ng ddc than - dng khdng he de cap, va chic ban dng khdng biet den ehflng Ndi cu the hdn, hinh thai cung cfl tru ddi hdi mdi ngfldi cap ddi phai danh toan tam toan y cho nhau, it n h a t ve mat thi gid, cdng sfle va tam_ tri Chinh vi thd, nhidu ngfldi thay khd ma vfla tri quan he vdi ban tinh vfla hd trd va cham sde cha me gia, nhd v.v Nhflng md'i quan he bi coi la canh tranh de gianh toan tdm toan y cua mdi ban tinh, nen ngfldi cudc nhieu phai Ifla chpn: hoae ban tinh, hoae eon nhd (hay cha me gia), chfl khdng the ebon d hai Hdn the nfla, rat khd tri stf lang man sd'ng chung dfldi cung mot mai nha Nhfl ket qua nghien cflu d i n tren day cho tha'y, LAT ed nhflng Uu the n h i t dinh vdi ngfldi cudc Mai Huy Bich 203 ThQ nhd't, theo phan tich cua cae nha nghien cflu Thuy Dien, LAT khdng ddi hdi hai ben danh 100% thi gid, tam tri va cdng sfle cho Nhd the, thdng qua quan he LAT, cae cap ddi khdi phai Ifla chpn gifla trach nhiem cham sdc (ddi vdi cha me gia va eai nhd) vdi ban tinh mdi Quan he kieu LAT cho phep bp vfla cham sdc cha me gia va eon nhd, vfla tri quan he vdi ban tinh mdi Dd'i vdi nhflng ngfldi nay, tinh hinh khdng phai la: hay Ifla chpn "hoac ban tinh hoae eon nhd", "hoac ban tinh hoac cha me gia" Thflc td la vdi LAT, ngfldi ta cd dfldc d ban tinh lln nhd, ca ban tinh l l n cha me gia Ndi mdt each khai quat, day khdng phai stf Ifla chon "hoac - hoae - (either/or)", ma la " d - l l n (both/and)" (Levin, 2004: 231) Ndu sdng chung cflng nhau, hp se phai Ifla ebon "hoac -hoac -" Cdn LAT, xa hdi da md dam bay giai p h l p " d - lln", chfl khdng phai "hoac - hoac" Uu the so vdi each slp xep ndi d truyen thd'ng d n dfldc gidi xa hdi hoc tim hieu ky hdn Neu nd xac thflc, thi nen thfla nhan didu dd ThQ hai, hdn the nfla, quan he LAT cd the la mpt giai phap cho mdt cudc hdn nhan hoae cudc chung sd'ng khd khan, lung ciing Cae cap tinh d n h cd the tach d rieng, lap elch sd'ng LAT va cflu van md'i quan he, hay it nhat lam cham lai sfl dd vd Nhd giam bdt kha nang gay bfle minh cho vi nhflng ehuyen ca tinh, nep sinh boat ddi thfldng hang ngay, LAT ehflng td dfldc diem manh eua nd ThQ ba, neu ket hdp vdi flu the' la gifl dfldc mau sac va phong vi lang man cua tinh yeu (nhfl cau ehuyen eua cap ddi sd'ng hai bd bien chung gifla Thuy Dien va Dan Mach d tren vfla ehflng minh), thi LAT rd rang da "ghi diem" cudc canh tranh vdi phfldng thflc d chung mdt nha truyen thd'ng Nhfl ehflng ta da thly, nhflng ngfldi cudc khang dinh ring: vdi LAT, ho cd ta't ca nhflng gi hp mong mud'n, va vi the' hp khdng ehuyen tfl LAT sang cfl trfl dfldi cung mot mai nha Mdt sd'khae thi dang tfl sd'ng chung da ehuyen sang quan he cap ddi sdng rieng Dieu dd da ehflng minh flu the hdn hdn vd khong the ddnh ddi ciia LAT mlt ho so vdi phfldng thflc cflng cfl trfl Tdm lai, vdi ba flu the tren, LAT lam ngfldi cuoc hai Idng va thoa man Nhfl the, hinh thai se cd the dfldc nhieu ngfldi hdn nfla chap nhan Ndu nd chfla dfldc tan thanh, thi vdi thdi gian, thai dp cua dfl luan xa hpi cung nhfl ban than d c chuan mfle didu tiet quan he nam nfl ed the se thay ddi (nhfl qua trinh tflng xay vdi hien tfldng chung sdng khdng ke't hdn d ehinh Thuy Dien) Dfldng nhien, d n nhan manh r i n g day la nhflng flu thd dd'i vdi nhflng da chon va thflc thi each s l p xep nay, tfle nhflng ngfldi cupc Rat ed the ngfldi ngoai cudc khdng thfla nhan flu the ly, tham chi coi dd la bat ldi, la diem yeu khien gia dinh thieu di nen tang chung va md'i lien kdt, trd nen Idng leo v.v Mat khac, khdng the khdng ndi r i n g ed nhieu flu the nhfl tren, song LAT ddng thdi mang nhflng bat ldi nhat dinh vdi ngfldi cudc (nhfl mdt cau ngfl nfldc ngoai da qua quyet, tam huy chfldng nao cflng ed mat trai eua nd) vay nhflng bat ldi cua LAT la gi? Chfla mdt nghien cflu nao d Thuy Dien giai dap cau hdi Nhflng bang phan tich logic, ta d i suy doan r i n g nd it hoac khdng dfldc hfldng nhflng flu the cua gia dinh ma Goode da neu Hdn the nfla, bang quan sat thdng thfldng va trai nghiem ca nhan, ehflng ta ed the thay mdi dfldng sfl phai "tfl Iflc canh sinh" r l t cao vi khdng the dfla vao sfl phan cdng lao ddng theo gidi nhfl trfldng hdp hai ngfldi sd'ng chung Thay vao dd, mdi ngfldi phai tra tien de nhan dich 204 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd vu beae d n tfl minh lam het mpi viec ciia ca hai gidi, tfl kiem sd'ng den lam viec nha, tfl cham sde ban than, tfl phuc vu, cung nhfl mpt minh dam nhiem ganh nang cham nudi nhd hay cha me gia (neu hp sd'ng cung nhflng ngfldi nay) Cdn neu hp ehi cd mdt minh, va cudc sd'ng dien binh thfldng, khdng sfl ed', va chfla den ky hen gap nhau, thi dfl cd the da quen, nhflng ngfldi cudc cua LAT v i n it nhieu phai chiu dflng d n h cd ddn vd vd, nhat la nhflng nam gidi kem thich nghi vdi d n h "cdm nieu nflde Ip" Va nhfl mdt cau tuc ngfl Viet Nam da due ket ra't sau sic, tinh canh mdt minh khien d lam lan an ddu vat va, khd khan, ed cfle: "An mdt minh dau tflc, lam mdt minh cfle than" Cdn mdt hay d hai ngfldi gap sfl ed' bat ngd, khoang khdng gian ngan each nhidu cap ddi ed the khien cho hp khdng den vdi dfldc kip thdi, bude hp phai ddn thfldng ddc ma ganh chiu, "mpt minh minh biet, mpt minh minh hay" Dd la thflc td khdng the phii nhan 3) Nhflng ngfldi Thuy Dien thflc thi LAT b i n khdng ttf coi nd la m l u mfle, cang khdng cd y dinh xua't khau nd ngoai bien gidi qud'c gia nay; hp chi ddn gian d m thay nd phfl hdp vdi minh Song viee tim hieu LAT khdng phai la chuyen rieng cua gidi xa hdi hpc Thuy Dien, ma dang quan tam vdi ea d c nha nghien cflu gia dinh Vi$t Nam Khoang mfldi mfldi lam nam trflde, it doan dfldc rang hien tfldng chung sd'ng khdng ke't hdn cd the x u i t hien d mdt xa hdi coi trpng gia dinh nhfl Viet Nam Nhflng nd da sinh, tham chi ed xu hfldng dang tang len, va thu hut sfl chu y, quan tam khdng ehi ciia dfl luan xa hdi, ma d ciia bao ehi (xin xem Nguyen Thi Quynh Hoa, 2007; Nguyen Dfle Chien, 2008) va gidi hpc thuat (vi du Lflu Phfldng Thao, 2007) Vay thi chung ta ed the dfl doan r i n g rat ed kha nang LAT ciing sinh d Viet Nam tac ddng manh me ciia giao lflu van hda va hdi nhap Vdi nhflng ngfldi Viet Nam vd'n gifl dinh kien coi gia dinh phfldng Tay la ca nhan ehu nghia, ich ky v.v., thi quan he LAT (qua nhflng vi du trinh bay d tren) ro rang khdng hau t h u i n quan diem ciia hp Nhflng cap LAT d Thuy Dien khdng dpn den d vdi ban tinh ma sd'ng rieng de cham sdc cha me gia va d i nhd la vl du ve Idng vi tha eua hp, va la blng ehflng bac bd each nhin nhan lech lac d l y kien tren Didu dd cd nghla la gidi nghien cflu can nhin nhan hien tfldng LAT mpt each khach quan, tranh quy ket vdi va theo tinh than la'y tdc ngfldi ciia minh lam chuan (khi so sanh va danh gia d c tpc ngfldi khlc) Dd la thai dp trflde tien can xac lap de CO the tim hieu nd Ndi each khac, cae hpc gia chung ta nen tha'm n h u a n tinh t h i n cua thuyet tfldng dd'i van hda, theo dd mdi nen van hda cd tinh hdp ly rieng cua minh, va nd can dfldc nhin nhan va danh gia theo quan diem cua ehinh nd, chfl khdng the ap dat quy chuan danh gia tfl ben ngoai Nhfl vay, "khdng mdt nen van hda hay mdt td chflc xa hdi nao tfl nd cao hdn nen van hda hay td chflc xa hdi khac" (Evans, 1993: 10) Dieu gi dung mot nen van hda cd the la sai d nen van hda khac; cai dfldc coi la van minh mpt xa hdi ed thd hi xem la da man d xa hdi khac Ngoai nen van hda cua ban than mdi ngfldi, thi nhflng nhan xet vd " d i td't", "eai xlu" d mdt nen van hda khong nen ap dung thieu suy tinh vao eac nen van hda khac Day chinh la dac diem khac biet cua xa hpi hpc ma nha nghien cflu ngfldi My Peter Berger da neu bat len bai hpc vd long ve nghe nghiep cud'n sach ndi tieng cho nhflng ngfldi mdi nhap mdn nhan dd "Ldi mdi den vdi xa hdi hoc" Xa hpi hpc phai tiep thu tinh tfldng dd'i (relativist) ve van hda va di theo tinh than cua chu nghia the Mai Huy Bich 205 gidi (cosmopolitan) Nghia la nha xa hdi hoc nghien cflu sfl tfldng tac ngtfdi d hang loat nen van hda khac nhieu didu kien khde Hp bpc dfldc ring hanh vi, d c y tfldng va the chd deu mang tinh tfldng dd'i, phu hdp vdi nhflng nen van hda cu the va ndi ehd'n eu the Nghia la de danh gid hay nhan xet nhflng hanh vi nhat dinh, nha xa hdi hoc phai ap dung mdt nhan quan rdng Idn, mang tam the gidi chu nghia (Berger, 1963: 66) Nhflng khdng it hoc gia Viet Nam da khdng tide ldi phe phan gia dinh phfldng Tay ndi chung va Thuy Dien ndi rieng Vi du hai hpc gia thudc cai gpi la gia dinh hoc da mfldn ldi "nhidu nha xa hdi hpc d cac nflde dang phat trien" de ndi ve "nhflng mat thie'u ldnh manh ciia gia dinh va ldi sd'ng phfldng Tay, ndi ehinh xac hdn la nhflng can bd cua ldi sd'ng ay", Tham ehi hp da khdng ngin ngai gpi dd la "van hda cua quy dU' Nghia la m l t hai hoc gia nay, gia dinh phfldng Tdy khdng nhflng benh hoan, suy ddi vd dao dfle, ma edn khdng thudc loai ngfldi nfla! Ro rang nhflng hpc gia da khdng tidp thu dfldc bai bpc vd tinh thin khach quan, tinh tfldng dd'i van hda va chii nghia the gidi hp nhan danh quan diem dan tdc minh de phan xdt ve mat dao dfle ddi vdi gia dinh d cae nen van hda va xa bdi khac Cach nhin nhan nhfl vay ro r i n g la khdng thich hdp vdi ngfldi nghien cflu khoa hoc Sach bao trich dan Berger, Peter 1963 Invitation to Harmondsworth: Penguin Book Ltd sociology: a humanistic perspective Dang Canh Khanh, Le Thi Quy 2007 Gia dinh hgc Ha Npi: Nha xua't ban ly luan chinh tri Evans, Grant (ed.) 1993 Asia's cultural mosaic: an anthropological Singapore: Prentice Hall introduction Goode, WilHam 1982 The family Second edition Engiewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall Levin, Irene and J a n Trost 2003 "Living apart together" Trong: David Cheal (ed.) Family: critical concepts in sociology Vol I Family patterns and processes London: Routledge Levin, Irene 2004 "Living apart together: a new family form" Current Sociology Vol 52 (2) Lflu Phfldng Thao 2007 Hien tQpng chung sdng trQdc hon nhdn cua cong nhdn tre tgi thdnh phdHd Chi Minh Luan van thac si xa bdi hoc, Khoa Xa hdi bpc, trfldng Dai hpc khoa hpc xa hdi va nhan van, Dai hpc qud'c gia phd Hd Chi Mmh Nguyin Dfle Chien 2008 "Sinh vien sdng chung trflde hdn nhan tai d c phd Idn d Viet Nam hien qua gdc nhin bao chf Nghien cQu gia dinh vd gidi Vol 18, N 4.' Nguyin Thi Quynh Hoa 2007 "Xu hfldng sd'ng thii ciia nien Viet Nam hien nay" Nghien cQu gia dinh vd gidi Vol 17 N ... hp chap nhan nd nhfl mdt giai phap cho tdi ngfldi cha hoae ngfldi me qua ddi hay cha me dm nang va gia yeu tdi mflc khdng cdn giai phap nao khac ngoai viec dfla vao trai dfldng lao Hp thich d... de hdp gia dinh Nhfl the, neu theo va ap dung quan niem cua Goode thi LAT khdng phai gia 102 Mgt hinh thdi gia dinh mdi d Thuy Dien vd dinh Song nhflng ngfldi chpn LAT cho r i n g hp la gia dinh... len thdnh cua gia dinh chung, Goode ddng nhl't gia dinh cung cfl t r u vdi gia dinh ndi chung Ong tham chi coi sfl cung cfl tru la dieu kien d n de tao nen mpt gia dinh, va dieu ro rang khdng khdp
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