X a Hot ()oc tf)Uc ngt)i?ttt xa hot hoc so'2(10?), 2009 23 QUAN NIEM NHAN THUC CUA CAC THE HE VE MAU T H U A N TRONG GIA DINH VA CACH KHAC PHUC • LETHF To am gia dinh, noi xum hgp thuang xuyen cua doi vg- chong, cha me va cai, ong ba gia, la noi dem lai cho mdi vien gia dinh su cham sdc ve vat chat, su chia se ve tinh cam, su yen on ve tam ly Tuy nhien sinh boat hang a gia dinh giiia hai vg chdng, giiia cha me cai, dng ba, khd tranh khoi c6 luc xay ra, nhiing mdu thudn, va chgm, cac vien gia dinh ed nhiing tinh each, thoi quen, sa thich, nhu cau khae Mau t h u i n c6 the hen quan den cae van de kinh te, tinh cam, cham s6e l i n va giao due cai, ddi xii voi cha me gia eua doi vg chong ciing eo the nhiing bat dong ve quan niem va lgi Ich, khong dap iing dugc nhiing ky vgng ve vai tro cac vien gia dinh cua vg hay chdng v.v Trong de tai nghien ciiu ve quan niem, nhdn thiic cua cdc the he Viet Nam ve hon nhdn vd gia dinh, tien hanh dieu tra d diem thuoc tinh Hung Yen va phd Ha Ngi nam 2007-2008, chiing tdi da chu y khao sat van de mau t h u i n cae gia dinh Do la xd Me Sd huyen Van Giang tinh Hung Yen, xd Phu Minh huyen Soc San phd Ha Ngi, thi trdn Vdn Giang huyen Van Giang, tinh Hung Yen, phUdng Biii Thi Xuan quan Hai Ba Trung, phd Ha Ngi Ket qua khao sat a diem tren voi nhirng dac diem kinh texd hpi khdc nhau, phan anh tinh hinh a ea thdnh pho'va nong thon de giup chiing toi e6 nhiing thong tin dang chu y ve van de sau day: Cac hinh thue bieu hien eua mau thuan gia dinh Hien tugng mau t h u i n nao la nghiein trgng nhat? Nguyen nhan dan den eac mau thuin Ve eac giai phap giai quyet mau t h u i n gia dinh Cdc hinh thUc bieu hien cua mau thudn rat da dang, mue nghiem trgng khae nhau, nhieu truang hgp lai g i n voi viec sd dung bgo lUc thdn the vd tinh thdn, tix mang ehui den danh dap v.v Nhiing mau thuan gan voi viec su: dung bao luc gia dinh thuang la nhiing ly d i n den"cac vu ly thdn, ly hon Dieu quan trgng la vg chong can ed each gidi quyet cdc mdu thudn kip thdi, ehu dgng, khdng nen de ehung keo dai, cang nang ne hon Viec hen quan den viee tim hieu cdc nguyen nhdn dan den va cham, mau t h u i n giiia eac vien, truoc bet giiia ddi vg chdng * GS, Nguyen Vien trirong Vien Triet hpc 24 Quan niem nhdn thiic cua cdc the he \k c a c h i n h thiic hiiu hi$n ciia mau thufin gia d i n h Chiing tdi xin neu kei qua khao sdt d4 diem nghien cuu noi ehung vecdc hinh thuc bieu hien mdu thudn, dxd MSSddai dien nong thon wk phudng Bui Thi Xuan dai dien thdnh phdlkm vi du (%) Bding s6 1: HTnh thiic bidu hl^n cixa mOu thufln (Ty le % nguci tra lei) Hinh thuc bieu hien mdu thudn V g i m Idng.gidn ddi khdng ndi chuyen Chong Im Idng, gidn ddi khdng ndi chuyen 3.Chdng mdng chCri vo 4.Vcf mdng chCri chong 5.Chong ddnh vo 6.Voddnh chong 7.Bo me ddnh chui cdi 8.Con cdi chui Igi bo me 39 42.4 Hpc vdn ngudi tra Tinh trgng Dp tuoi hdn nhdn Idi a diem ngudi tra Idi o diem Cdp Cdp 100% NIL 18-29 30-39 Tren C d p d d ket -1 tuoi 60 tuoi hdn tudi 41,7 38,5 41,8 41,6 24,6 42 39,7 43,4 22,5 26,3 23,2 22,1 24,5 21,1 20,8 23,6 23,4 24,4 11,2 3,0 9,7 10,6 n 3,5 16,7 12,4 6,5 10,2 4,5 3,0 5,3 2,5 5,3 2,5 3,1 0 4,3 1,0 10,1 1,4 7,3 0,9 9,7 7,3 0 1,8 0 8,3 2,5 8,1 0,5 6,5 1,4 7,6 0 0,3 0 1,8 99,1 51,3 43,1 0,3 OBui Thi Xudn M § Sd 6A diem Nhu vay cac hinh thue bieu hien eua mau t h u i n gia dinh rat da dgng, tir nhe den nang, t u thai khd chiu, im lang, gian ddi, den p h a n iing mat, bat hgp tac, su: dung bgo liic tinh thdn ldi ndi mang ehui, cai den bgo lUc thdn the, danh dap Cac hinh thiic eung thuoc vao trinh hoc vdn, tdng Idp xd hgi, moi trudng sinh song cua nhiing ngudi cd lien quan Hinh thiie bieu hien phd bien cua mau t h u i n la vg hay chdng im lang, gian ddi, khdng noi chuyen vdi Hinh thu:e eo d cd th^'he ty le tra loi tuong ddi thdng nhat, tii 20% den 40% Viee chdng mdng chiii vg chiem ty le cao han hien tugng vg mdng chM chdng (9,7% so vdi 3%) va didn chu yeu a the he tre va trung nien (2%) nhung khdng cd chuyen vg ddnh chdng, dieu phan anh vi the quyen lUc dp ddo cua nam gidi gia dinh v i n tdn tai den Hien tugng cdi chiii lgi bd me (0,3% d diem), rat it xay so vdi viec bd me ddnh chiii cdi (7,3%), chu yeu la the he tre tra lai (9,7%) Dieu eung ndi len vi tri eua eon cai ehua trudng t h a n h sdng gia dinh, ehung edn phu thuge vao cha me vi nhieu phucmg dien, ddng thai eung phan anh truyen thdng dng x& co ne nep, trat tu tren dudi gia dinh Viet Nam Le Thi 25 Hay lang nghe vai y kien cua nguoi dan qua cac eugc phong van sau va thao luan nhdm "Ve mdu thudn gia dinh, da sd ddn dug ddnh dap, chdi bdi vg, phu nU mdng mo, chi chiet chong Ly vg chong khong hieu nhau, luc yeu thi em dep, luc lay thi lung cung, khong ldm chu dugc bdn thdn nen xdy mdu thudn, mgt phdn vi kinh te gia dinh Vg chong nen tU hoa gidi, qud ldm mdi phdi nhd den chinh quyen can thiep" (nam, dd ket hon d xd Me Sd) "Mdu thudn gia dinh chu yeu tinh each Hai bo' cung nong thi khong the noi chuyen ldu dugc vdi nhau, ddc biet viec ldm dn Mdu thudn cdng nhgn thde cdc van de xd hgi, cha me khong theo kip gidi tre ve nhgn thde xd hgi hien dang chuyen doi nhanh (nam, trung nien dxd Me Sd) "Nhiing vu de ldm dn Cha chdn ldm gia dinh" (nam, va chgm giUa cha me gia vd cai trUdng thdnh xoay quanh vdn me gid lo minh ddu tU ldm tien nhd that bai thi sao, cac cu hay chdc dn Thanh nien lgi chap nhgn mao hiem, the la co mau thudn da lie't hon dxd Me Sd) "TrUdc day ddnh dap mdi Id bgo liic Bay gid mdng mo, mgt sat cdng Id bgo liic tinh thdn vd vdn xdy d dia phUdng, ddc biet giUa me chong va nang ddu GiUa vg chong cdng co bgt tai, da chdn chUa den niUc gay thUOng tich ndng Cac dodn the phdi vao cuge de hod gidi, chUa den niUc cong an xd phdi can thiep" (thdo ludn nhom trung nien d Me Sd) "Viec chdng ddnh ddp vg vi ghen tuong, vg chi chiet chong vi di chai khuya, rUgu che v.v vdn con, nhUng dien gia dinh hg, ngUdi ngodi it biet vd khong can thiep" (nam, trung nien thdo ludn nhom dphUdng Bui Thi Xuan) "Hinh thde bgo lUc gia dinh phu thuoc vdo trinh cua doi vg chong cdng CO the d nong thon, viec danh dap vg con, hang xom biet (7thdnh it the hien ro, co di ngodi dUdng rdt dodn kit, hg lai di xe may nhUng ve nha khong noi vdi diiu gi cdn kho hOn d nong thon danh cho trgn Id xong Bgo liic d moi trUdng hgp, moi gia dinh, dia phUdng khdc nhau" (nem, thdo ludn nhom cdn bg d phudng Biii Thi Xudn) "Bao liic ve tinh thdn vd the xac phdi ran de nhiiu Bgo lUc vi the xac thudng diin d gia dinh ngUdi lao dgng (JngUdi tri thde thudng Id bgo lUc tinh thdn, ddu tranh vdi qua chien tranh lanh, khong hgp tdc vdi v.v Bgo lUc nhiiu nguyen nhdn, khong phdi mgt nguyen nhdn, cai ndy de cai kia, khong thich nhau, cd tinh khdc v.v."(nam, trung nien, thdo ludn nhom can bg d phudng Bui Thi Xudn) "Vg chdng sd'ng vdi bd me gid hai kho tinh, nghiem khdc nen doi vg chdng cung CO mau thudn mgt chut thoi Co dy cd phan nan vdi chdng Id kho qud Vg chdng doi luc co x6 xat nhau, cung chi vi ba me thoi, chi co cdi nhau, co dy cucdn nhdn, noi ndng den me nen cau len toi tat cho co dy cai thoi Co dy phdn 26 Quan niem nhdn thde cua cdc thehe ling, rdi bd vi nhd cha me de, toi phdi len xin loi mdi ve (phdng van nam d thi xd Vdn Giang) nien "Vg chdng cdi thi chUa, chi mat ndng, may nhe vdi thoi Neu md gidn thi ehung chdu im lang khong noi gi vdi Bao gid nguoi nguoi thi vg chdng mdi ngdi lgi vdi noi chuyen vdi Bay gid nien ngUdi ta it cdi nhau, md cdi hdng xom biet mang tieng ra, rdi borne lgi chdng hieu vg chong ehung no nhU the ndo md sudt ngdy cdi vd nhau, rdi de ong bd dau ddu lo lang" (phong vdn nam nien d xd Phu Minh) "Vg chdng chdu gidn thi khong noi chuyen vdi ai, thudng nhd chdu ldm lanh truoc Chdng chdu chUa bao gid ddnh chdu Bd me chdng kho tinh thi chdu nhudng nhin thoi, chdu rut dieu: minh la thi minh nhin, co bd me chdng ndo khen ddu ddu, nen thoi minh khong cdi ldm gi vdi bd" (phdng vdn nU d xd Phu Minh) V l miic n g h i e m trgng ciia m a u thuSn t r o n g gia d i n h Tra ldi eau hoi hien tugng mau t h u a n nao la nghiem trgng nhat, ehung toi thu dugc ket qua nhu sau, theo nhan thiie cua nguoi dan'i^: Bding s6 2: V6 mile dO nghiSm trpng cCia mOu thudn gia dinh (% nguci tra lai) V6 mdc nghldm trpng cOa mOu thufin l.Vo im Idng gidn ddi khdng ndi chuyen 2.Chong im Idng gidn ddi Chong mdng chui vo Vo mdng chui chong Chong ddnh vo Vo ddnh chong Bo me ddnh 8.Con cdi chui lai bo me d4dl5m n6l Chung 57,7% 12,2 14,1 3,8 4,5 0,6 3,8 3,2 dxaMSS6 68% 9,8 14,6 4,9 0 2,4 6phudng BOI Th| Xudn 55,8% 21,2 1,9 7,7 1,9 5,8 5,8 Nhu vay hien tugng vg im lang, gidn doi, khong noi chuyen dugc nhieu nguai nhic den, a diem ed 57,7% ngudi tra ldi, d Md So cd 68% ngudi tra ldi Cac hien tugng chdng m,ang chui vgco 14,1% NTL d diem, chdng ddnh vg cd 4,5% NTL d diem Chdng mdng chiii vg d xd Me Sd e6 14,6% NTL cao hgn b a n b phudng Biii Thi Xudn cd tdi 7,7% NTL Vg ddnh chdng cd 0,6% NTL d diem, d xd Mi Sd la 0% Rieng a phudng Biii Thi Xudn cd 1,9% NTL Nhung thuc te d phuang Biii Thi Xuan qua bang lai khong ed hien tugng vg danh chdng didn Ket qua tra ldi tren ciing cho thay uy quyin cua ngudi chdng cua nam gidi cac gia dinh v i n tdn tai, ndi trgi "' Bang so lieu vl cac hinh thiic mau thuin gia dinh (bang 1) khae voi bang ve miic dp nghiem trpng (bang 2) vi bang chi noi den cac hinh thiic bieu hien co nhilu hay it ty le (%) khong phai noi den miic dd nghiem bao nhieu % Le Thi 27 T i m hi^u n h t i n g n g u y e n n h a n d i n d^n m a u t h u a n t r o n g gia d i n h Theo quan niem eua nguoi dan qua khao sat eho ket qua nhu sau: Bding s6 3: NguySn nhOn din dSn mOu thufin Cty le % nguoi frd Id!) Hinh thuc bieu hien mdu thudn Do nghi ngd ngogi tinh Do mdu thuan Idm dn kinh te Do soy rupu Do ddnh bac Do nghien hut Do mdu thudn nudi dgy 7.Do mdu thudn sinh hoat hdng ngdy Do thdi guen gia trudng cua chong Khdc OBui 64 Op tuoi ngudi trd Hpc (/dn cua NTL Tinh trgng Thi diem Idi c d hdn nhdn Xudn 18-29 30-59 Tren Cdp Cdp Cdp 100% NTL tudi tudi 60 dd ket hdn tuoi 2,4 1,7 1,3 0 1,1 1,1 1,1 Me So 20,3 12,1 17,4 18,2 0 6,3 6,3 5,1 3,3 1,1 1,1 8,8 5,6 3,4 0.6 6,7 63,2 15,8 57 61,5 57,3 1,9 0 38 1,1 2,2 4,8 10,5 0 9,9 5,6 34,1 5,3 17,0 22 14,4 4,9 24 1,8 1,8 12,3 5,5 3,3 0,5 6,6 3,4 0 8,7 3,8 10,6 5,3 0 5,3 53 66,7 58,2 64,4 53,8 2,4 1,8 2,2 3,4 10,5 5,5 5,1 15,8 36,4 Nguyen nhan phd bidn d i n den mau thuan giiia vg chdng qua khao sat tren, y kien cua NTL la sinh hoat hdng vg chong, mdi nguoi mgt y xep sd vdi ty le chiem ty le NTL la 58,2%, d the'he tre ty le NTL la 64,4%, dac biet cao d phuong Biii Thi Xuan la 66,7% Thii hai la e6 mau t h u i n ldm dn kinh te'ty le NTL a diem la 17%, d xa Me Sd ty le NTL la 34% cao ban ty le ehung 17%, d the he tre la 22% Nguyen nhan mau t h u i n nuoi dgy xep thd voi ty le NTL la 6,6% d diem, dac biet d the he trung nien ty le NTL la 10,6% Rieng a phudng Bui Thi Xuan ty le NTL la 12,3% xep thii2, chiing to co nhieu xung dot giira cae the he ve c h u i n muc sdng d phd Nhieu nguyen nhan khae d i n den mau t h u i n vg chdng: say rUgu, ed ty le NTL la 5,5%, ddnh bgc cd ty le NTL la 3,3%, nghien hut cd ty le NTL la 0,5% Mau t h u i n nghi ngd ngogi tinh chiem ty le thap, ed 1,1% NTL Mau t h u i n thoi quen gia trUdng cua chdng dang luu y cd 2,2% NTL d diem, d xd Me Sd ed 2,4% NTL, d the'he tre ed toi 3,4% NTL ve t i m quan trgng cua nguyen nhan Dac biet ed ty le 57,3% NTL da ket hon eho la mau t h u i n gia dinh ehu yeu mau t h u i n sinh boat hang Cd 5,5% NTL d diem, rieng d phudng Biii Thi Xuan cd 10,5% NTL la nhUng nguyen nhdn khdc, nhiing nguyen nhan ma hg khong ndi dugc, dae biet d the' he gid tren 60 tudi cd tdi 10,5% NTL la nhung nguyen nhan khae, phiie tap, khd ndi 28 Quan niem nhdn thde ciia cdc the he Xet ve hgc van ve nguyen n h a n mdu thudn ldm dn kinh te, thi 36,4% NTL ed trinh cap 1, 20,3% NTL ed trinh cap Nguyen nhan mdu thudn sinh hogt, cd ty le NTL 61,5% ngudi cd hgc van cap 3, 57% ed hge van cdp Dieu eiing phan anh p h a n tinh hinh vg hay chdng ed trinh van boa thudng ddi hdi d cuge sdng gia dinh each an d te nhi, lich su, ehu ehao hem Chiing ta thii l i n g nghe y kien cua cac cap vg chdng qua phdng van sau va thao luan nhdm ve mau t h u i n , bao luc gia dinh, ve nguyen n h a n sinh mau t h u i n , phiic tap hem nhieu so vdi ket qua khao sat tren day "TU trUdc me chdng, nang ddu khong co mdu thudn gi ddu, nhUng bay gid chdu CO gdi, no lubi dn, chdu ldm cdc thvC cho no, no khong dn, chdu viia tdc, viia thuang nen mdng no vd phdt cdi vdo mong no No co dau ddu nhung no cU gao len thi bd me chdng thUdng no lgi noi chdu Ddy nhieu mdu thudn chi vi thoi, minh dgy theo kieu cua minh, bd chiiu no qud hod hu'' (phong vdn nU tre d phudng Biii Thi Xudn) "Tdi tha'y rang v i n de bao lue gia dinh v i n edn, nhung cai chiem da sd la d ndng thon nhieu hem d t h a n h phd Tuy nhien la noi the nhung d t h a n h phd ciing ed, cd the khong phai la bao luc danh dap ma bgo lUc ve tinh thdn, cai anh hudng dai d i n g va eon nguy hiem hon" (thao luan nhdm trung nien d phudng Biii Thi Xuan) "Noi ehung mdu thudn gia dinh co rdt nhiiu nguyen nhdn, nhUng cai nguyen nhdn de gay tdn thUcfng nhdt, theo chdu nghi Id ngUdi chdng minh sdng qud vo tdm, qud vi minh, khong biet den ai, thdm chi den Chdng chdu anh dy di ldm cong trinh xay diing day mai do, di biin biet cd thdng mdi ve, sau lgi di ndm d nudc ngodi Trong ndm chau vo vo nuoi mgt minh vd vi dvdi ong ngogi, nha ong vd cac co chu di no nom hg de chdu di ldm Khi vi anh ay nghe theo bgn bdo Id vg theng, the'kia md khong chiu tim hieu ky Con be chdu mdi tudi rUdi, chdu phdi lo lam dn, rdt vdt vd, ddu tdt mdt toi, anh ay d nUdc ngodi, vg khong co, hg hdng cung khong, chdu khong nghi ngd anh ay thi thdi, anh ay lai nghi ngd chdu ngogi tinh Chdu da chap nhdn mpi thd de sdng ehung nhung anh dy cdn ddnh ddp chdu trUdc mat Anh khoa cdng, khod cda nhd, chdu ve phdi phd khod mdi vdo dugc, anh dy lai chdi, ddnh chdu, chdu tudi luc ay no sg qud Rdi vgchdng ly hon chia doi nhd & Con chdu dm phdi di ndm vien, chdng khong hi hdi thdm, ket cue Id di den ly hon" (chuyen he cua nU dphudng Bui Tlii Xudn) Tra ldi eau hdi anh ed bao gid dung bao luc vdi eon cai khdng? "Noi thiic vdi chi, vdi gai thi khong, nhung vdi trai thi lan chdu dua doi bgn be, hU qud toi phdi ddnh chdu, sau ngdi 6m khdc vd bdcon bao rdng Id lan nhdt phai diing vd liic vdi Phdi diing den bgo lUc, du Id dudi hinh Le Thi 29 thiic ndo, cdng deu Id khong dugc, no anh hudng den tat cd md, thdnh vien gia dinh, ldm cho cuoc song cdng thdng hOn vd rdt khong toi cho sii phdt trien cua cdc trdng cuoc ddi sau ndy" (phdng vdn sdu nam trung nien dphUdng Biii Thi Xudn) V6 each gidi quy^t mau t h u i n gia dinh Cung cd nhieu y kien khae Qua khao sat d diem va Iiy vi du d xa Md Sd va phuong Biii Thi Xuan, chiing toi nhan dugc y kien tra ldi nhu sau: Bdng s6 4: Hinh thuc gidi quySt mOu thufin (% ngudi trd ldi) Cdch gidi quyet mdu thudn diem xd Md Sd Do chdng Idm Idnh trude Do vo Idm Idnh trude De ldu rdi qua Hai vo chong chu ddng Idm Idnh Do bd me, anh em hod gidi Do chinh guyen, td chuc xd hdi hod gidi Cd cdch gidi quyet khdc 37% 15,6 20,8 19,7 1,7 0,5 36% 24,4 31,7 9,8 2,4 phudng Bui Thi Xudn 39,6% 4,2 14,6 29,2 0 4,6 4,9 6,3 Y kien ndi bat la mau t h u i n giiia vg chong dugc giai quyet thudng chong ldm lanh trUdc (37% nguoi tra loi), hai vg chong ehu dgng lam lanh la 19,7% nguoi tra ldi, dac biet a phuong Biii thi Xuan cd 29,2% nguoi tra ldi Mgt sd kha dong cho la cU de ldu thi mdu thudn se qua di (20,8% nguoi tra ldi), eon viee nhd bd me, anh em hay ehinh quyen, cae doan the boa giai mau t h u i n giiia vg chdng thi rat It, e6 0,5% "De gidi quyet mdu thudn thi ben phdi nhudng nhin nhau, thdy ben ndy cdng thi ben phdi liii, de ndo em em se phe binh lgi, the' la xong Neu ben ndo cdng cdng, mdi ben ty, cdng tranh khdn thi viec be xe to ddn len, chong thudng hay tranh khdn vdi vg" (Nam, trung nien d xd Me Sd) O phuong Biii Thi Xudn, 97% y kien ciing eho r i n g vg chong phai ton trgng nhau, lang nghe y kien eua thi moi giai quyet dugc cac mau t h u i n thuong xay Trong viee ddi xu vdi cai, y kien eho r i n g cha me c i n phai lang nghe y kien cua diing, sai the nao, khdng ap dat y kien mgt ehieu, b i t chiing phue tung thi moi day dd, thuyet phue, bao ban chiing ed ket qua, tranh de mau thuan cang t h i n g giiia cha me va cai Mgt chi phu nii a phuong Biii Thi Xuan da neu len mgt kinh nghiem de giai quyet mau t h u i n gia dinh "Vdng, neu nhU minh co the nhin dUdc thi cdi gi cdng nen cho qua Tdt cd Id vi thoi Chdu nghi neu ngUdi chong phgm sai ldm ndo vd ngUdi vg co the bo qua dugc cho chdng, ngUdi biei dn ndn hdi loi NgUdi chong se cdm thdy ton trgng vd minh hdn vd se tU sda chUa sai ldm detrd thdnh ngUdi chdng tdt hon" "Theo em neu chdng lan tdi, thi vg phdi lui, bao gid em ciing noi vdi cac em the, md ngudi ddn ong dd nong len, ngUdi ta noi cdu thi minh noi cdu Cd chdng ndo chiu kem ngUdi vg, dii ngUdi ta sai vdn cU cho la ddng NgUdi vd biet 30 Quan niem nhdn thiic cua cdc the he nhudng nhin cho qua di, rdi sau co dip se noi lgi dung sai" (phong vdn nS d thi trdn Vdn Giang, HUng Yen) Dae biet trudng hgp vg hon chdng, hoac ve trinh dp, hoac ve dia vi cong tic, thi each cu xu giiia vg chdng lai bet siic te nhi, hg can tdn trgng l i n nhau, hay ling nghe y kien phu nii ve van de "Ve mgt ly hoac dieu kien nao ngUdi phu nii lay ngUdi chdng kem hon minh, thi ngUdi vg cdn xac dinh ro la ngUdi phdi ton trgng Tdt nhien sii chenh lech ve trinh vdn hod khieh anh chdng dd rdt tii te, ngUdi vg phdi sdng the ndo de khong the hieu minh Id hdn ngUdi chong Sdng gia dinh, bdn thdn ngUdi vd cdn biet vai tro cua minh Dii ngodi xd hgi, bdn thdn minh co the Id mgt ngUdi lanh dgo, nhUng gia dinh minh vdn Id ngUdi vd, co cdch cU xdi ddng dan, tenhi Co cong viec gi vg chdng cung bdn bgc, binh ddng NhUng dieu quan trgng nhdt la hg biet ton trgng Idn nhau, ngUdi chdng men phue ngUdi vd gioi hdn minh NgUgc lgi ngUdi vd biet ton trgng ngUdi chdng NhU vdy gia dinh se em dm, thugn hod" (thdo luan nhom d phudng Biii Thi Xudn) Trong gia dinh sd'ng the he thi 63% cac y kien ciing cho r i n g mgi nguoi cin nhudng nhin vd ton trgng l i n nhau, 31,7% y kien cho rang chau phai ludn nghe loi ong ba, cha me, 5% cho r i n g ong ba cha me nen l i n g nghe y kien eon chau Nhan dan xa Phu Minh lai chii y den vai tro cua cgng ddng viec giai quyet mau t h u i n gia dinh, dac biet xay bao lue, d i n h dap "Hang xom den can ngdn, y thvCc cgng ddng rdt cao Hg den cdn ngdn doi vd chdng dang cdi nhau, ddnh vd gdp y neu chdng nong thi vg bdt di, neu vg the ndy thi chong em di, cudi cdng ldm cho vd chdng hod hdp vdi Neu khong co sU can ngdn cua cgng ddng thi gay ldm, co the ddnh den trgng thUdng Cho nen y thiic cua cgng ddng Id quan trgng Id cdi tap tuc cua dia phUdng - cdi tinh cdm d nong thon dy no khae d thdnh phd, to tieng Id hdng xom biet rdi" (Thdo luan nhom can bg d xd Phu Minh) Diing la doi vg chdng c6 xung dot thi y kien ngudi thii hgp tinh, hgp ly, chan se giiip hg nhanh chdng giai toa mau t h u i n "Con d thdnh phd, vg chdng cdi nhau, danh chUa den mdc chinh quyin phdi can thiep, vd hang xom cung khong can thiep Co ngUdi vd bi chdng ddnh tim mat, xdy xat mat, hoi lgi gidu, bdo minh ngd, hg si dien Vd chdng cdi nhau, vg bi ddnh nhd, CO ngo gao to len thi mgi ngUdi mdi bie't, hay ldm ddn phudng thi chinh quyin mdi can thiep" (nU, trung nien thdo ludn nhom d phudng Biii Thi Xudn) 'Ve mau thudn giUa vd chong thi dgi da sd tii gidi quyet gia dinh, rdi mdi den hang xom giup dd, can thiep Khi xdy mdu thudn, sai vi phia thi ngudi dyphdi riit kinh nghiem Vi du vg di ldm ve thdy cda nhd bda bdi thi cdu len, chong bdo: vg chdng ciing di ldm vdng, thi vd chdng ciing dgn dep nhd cda, vg nghe theo lgi vui ve" (nam, trung nien d xd Mi Sd) Le Thi 31 Nhu vay sd ddng eae cap vg chong, dae biet d the he tre da cho ring: de giai quyet xung dot, mau t h u i n thuong xay gia dinh, hai vg chdng phai tu giai quyet va bien phap tdt nhat la nhudng nhin "1 dieu nhin, dieu lanh", neu khong chiu thi mau t h u i n keo dai t r i m trgng them Nguoi c6 15i phai riit kinh nghiem, nguoi phai co long vi tha, nhu vay l i mgi su se em dep Chiing ta hieu rang eon nguoi ta khong gidng ai, khong ehi ve hinh thiie be ngoii ma ve tinh net, sd thieh, nhu e i u thoi quen Vi vay c i n phai nhdn nhugng sdng tap the nho la gia dinh, vg chdng, cha me, cai, e i n dep bo tinh leb ky ca nhan, tu ea nhan chi mudn ddnh phdn thdng vi minh, mudn ngudi khae lam theo minh, lam gidng minh Vg chdng sdng gia dinh cin hdp tdc vdi ve nhieu mat, khong chi l i m an kinh te, ngi trg gia dinh ma can ed su hod ddng ldi sdng, sinh boat hang ngay, de co tUng noi ehung Ban hgp ea eo tieng bong, tieng trim, nhung lai an y, boa ddng vdi nhau, de tao nen ban hgp xudng rieng, hay, dep Su hod dong, su hod hgp giUa vg chong khdng ddi hoi su gidng giira hg ve mgi mat tu tinh net, sd thieh nhu e i u v.v, nhung hg biet nhudng nhin nhau, nhdn nhUdng lan nhau, hy sinh lgi ich nhdt thdi cua cd nhdn, vi lgi ich ehung ldu ddi ciia ca gia dinh Hg gat bd tinh ich ky ea nhan, tu c i nhan de thich iing voi cai ehung cua cd gia dinh v i e6 tieng ndi ehung eiia ea vg chdng D6 la hi quyet de tao nen sii dong thudn gia dinh, xay dung cuge sdng ehung hanh phiie va em dep./ ... nhanh (nam, trung nien dxd Me Sd) "Nhiing vu de ldm dn Cha chdn ldm gia dinh" (nam, va chgm giUa cha me gia vd cai trUdng thdnh xoay quanh vdn me gid lo minh ddu tU ldm tien nhd that bai thi sao,... ddng eae cap vg chong, dae biet d the he tre da cho ring: de giai quyet xung dot, mau t h u i n thuong xay gia dinh, hai vg chdng phai tu giai quyet va bien phap tdt nhat la nhudng nhin "1 dieu nhin,... ciia ca gia dinh Hg gat bd tinh ich ky ea nhan, tu c i nhan de thich iing voi cai ehung cua cd gia dinh v i e6 tieng ndi ehung eiia ea vg chdng D6 la hi quyet de tao nen sii dong thudn gia dinh,