Vai trò của niềm tin và thực hành tôn giáo trong việc giải quyết mâu thuẫn vợ chồng gia đình công giáo

Vai tro cua niem tin va thuc hanh ton giao viec giai quyfit mau thuln vo* ch6ng gia dinh Cong giao Cu Thi Thanh Thiiy' Tom tat: Xa hdi Viet Nam da va dang co nhiing bidn ddi khong ngung vd kinh te - van hda - xa hpi, khidn gia dinh phai ddi dien vdi nhidu vin dd nhu: cau tnic, chiic nang thay ddi, dinh hudng gia tri, ly hon, ly tan, xung dot, bao luc de dga den su dn dinh, ben viing cua hdn nhan Trong bdi canh do, hdn nhan Cdng giao ndi len nhu mpt didn hinh ve su ben vimg c6 vai tro dang ke viec giup vugt qua khiing hoang hdn nhan, giai quyet mau thuan vg chdng Trong bai vidt vai tro cua niem tin va thirc iianh Cong giao viec giai quyet mau thuan vg chdng the hien qua nhung npi dung CO ban nhu sau: Thii nhat, niem tin Cong giao thuc day cac cap vp chdng giai quyet man thuin theo chidu hudng dn hda Thii hai, cac thuc hanh ton giao nhu cau nguyen, xung tdi, tham gia cac hpi doan tdn giao giiip xoa diu tdn thucmg, mat mat tinh cam vg chdng, dinh hudng hanh vi giai quyet mau thudn theo chieu hudng tich cue bdng ca che md, giang giai ve cac gia tri dao diic hdn nhan Tir khoa: Tdn giao; Gia dinh Cdng giao; Niem tin tdn giao; Thuc hanh ton giao; Mau thuan vg chdng NgAy nhan bai: 9/12/2019; chinh siia: 4/5/2020; duyet dang: 29/5/2020 E)9t vin de Nghien ciru vd gia dinh la mdt nhiing chii dd dugc xa hdi hgc rat quan tam nhidu nam gdn day, dd mau thuIn vg chdng, nhftng xung dot ddi sdng hdn nhan da dugc lam sang td d nhidu ndi dung quan trgng 'TS., Khoa xa h6i hpc, Dai hoc Cong doan 70 Nghien cu>u Gia dinh va Gio'i Quyen 30, so 2, tr 69-80 nhu: muc phd bidn cua mau thuIn, bidu hien, nguydn nhan va he qua cua no dot vdi ca nhan, gia dinh, xa hdi Ddi vdi md hinh gia dinh Cdng giao, cac khia canh nghien ciiu mdi chi dung lai d mdt sd ndi dung nhu: tinh bdn viing ciia hdn nhan Cdng giao (Le Dire Hanh, 2012: 255), (Doan Thi Phuong Thao, 2013), (Chu Van Tidn, 2014); dinh hudng hdn nhan cua nidn theo dao Thien ehiia (Bui Phuong Thanh, 2013); tac ddng cua dao Cdng giao tdi cac chiic nang cu thd ciia gia dinh - chiic nang sinh san (Pham Van Quyet, 2001, 2007; Ld Diic Hanh, 2012); chiic nang giao due cai (Cii Thi Thanh Thiiy, 2012) Hien chua cd nhidu nghian ciiu vd vai trd, hay nhiing tac ddng cua dao Cdng giao ddn mau thudn vg chdng, cu thd hon nvia la qua trinh giai quydt mau thuan giua vg va chdng Bai vidt sir dung nhung dii lieu nghian ciiu ciia Luan an tidn sT vd "Mau thudn vg chdng gia dinh Cdng giao d Ha Ndi hien nay" cua chinh tac gia da phan tich vai trd cua dao Cdng giao qua trinh giai quydt mau thudn giiia vg va chdng Tir dd lam sang td nhiing ndi dung co ban nhu: 1) vide thuc hanh tdn giao ciia vg chdng Cdng giao giiip xoa diu tdn thuong, mat mat tinh cam vg chdng qua trinh mau thuan; 2) chinh cac cam kdt hdn nhan thiic day hg lua chgn cac giai phap giai quydt mau thuan vg chong theo chidu hudng dn hda; 3) dao Cdng giao dinh hudng hanh vi hda giai, xir ly man thuan theo chieu hudng dn hda ciia vg chdng qua trinh giai quydt xung dot bang each yeu cau cac tin dd "xet minh" thue hanh xung tdi hay khdng ngimg nhac nhd, giang giai vd cac gia tri dao diic hdn nhan Phirong phap nghien ciru Dii lieu dinh lugng cua bai viat dugc su dung trdn co sd dd lieu cua 306 phidu dung cau y kidn va hdn nhan Cdng giao dugc khao sat bdng phuong phap chgn mau thuan tien vdi hai nhdm vg/chdng gia dinh vg chdng ciing Cdng giao, gia dinh vg chdng khdng cimg Cdng giao Ddi vdi dii' lieu dinh tinh, bai vidt sii dung phuong phap phdng vdn sau nham kham pha nhiing nguydn nhan, ly cua hien tugng m§u thuan vg chdng gia dinh cua ngudi Cdng giao de cd su ly giai, bd trg va lam phong phu kat qua nghian cuu Phuong phap dugc thuc hien vdi hai nhdm ddi tugng chinh: 1) vg (hoac chdng) cae gia dinh Cdng giao; 2) linh muc chinh xii, dng trurn, ba quan Kdt qua da cd 15 cudc phdng van sau ca nhan bao gdm: ngudi vg, ngudi chdng, 01 linh muc, 01 dng trimi, 01 ba quan dugc thuc hien Dia ban khao sat lira chgn la quan Ha Ddng vdi dia diam khao sat: nha thd giao xii Ha Ddng, nha thd giao hg La tinh trai; nha thd giao hg Mai LTnh Cii Thi Thanh Thiiy 71 nha thdi giao hg Yen Nghia Thdi gian thue hien khao sat la thang 10 nam 2017 Myc dich khao sat dinh lugng nhSm thdng ke, md ta xu hudng lua chgn giai quyet mau thuan ddi sdng hdn nhan cua vg chdng Cdng giao, ciing nhu phan tich hrcmg quan hai bien dk so sanh each thiic giai quylt mau thuSn giiia hai nhdm vg chdng ciing va khdng ciing Cdng giac Ngudn dii lieu dinh tinh chu yiu dugc dimg de phan tich nhirng tac ddng cua niSm tin va thue hanh ton giao den qua trinh giai quyet mau thuan tren co sd nhiing phdng vin sau ddi vdi vg (hoac chdng) tren dia ban khao sat Khai niem nilm tin va tiiurc hanh ton giao Niem tin tdn giao la "ham y mdt niim tin d nhiing cai sieu nhien, nhung ddi vdi tdn giao vin rat hien thuc, tham chi cdn hien thuc hon ca thd gidi hien thuc niia, nhung vin d ngoai tam njm bit ciia giac quan va tri thiic ciia ngudi binh thudng" (Minh Chi, 1995 dSn theo Vd Van Thanh, 2014: 60) NiSm tin tdn giao la su dinh hudng gia tri viing chjc cua nhiing ngudi theo tdn giao vao luc lugng thin thanh, va mdt thd gidi khac (Vii Dung, 2014), nd khac vdi niem tin ddi thudng Hay ndi each khac, ni8m tin tdn giao la sir tin tirdng ciia ca nhan vao nhiing gia tri sieu thuc ma tdn giao neu ra, khdng cin chiing minh, khdng phu thudc vao viec cd bang chimg hay khdng, nhung cac tin dd vin tin tudng vao tinh chan ly cua nd So vdi cac tdn giao khac, dao Cdng giao la tdn giao ddi hdi cao ve mire niem tin cua cac tin dd, ddng thdi hira hen phin thucmg sau chet cho nhirng ed niem tin tdn giao virng vang "Phue cho nhung khdng thay ma tin, vi nude Trdi la cua hg" (Kinh Tam mdi Phiic that) Trong bai viet nay, niem tin tdn giao ciia vg chdng Cdng giao the hien d viec hg tu danh gia ve su tin tudng ciia ban than ddi vdi cac gia tri dao dire ma Cdng giao dua nhu: gia tri ve Idng yen thuong, sir vi tha, bac ai, hy sinh, chiu thua thiet ve minh, tin tudng vao eac cam ket tdn giao va day la nhirng gia tri dinh hudng cho hanh vi, ling xtr ciia vg chdng qua trinh giai quyet mau thuin Ddi vdi mdi quan he vg chdng, niem tin Cdng giao nhan manh den tinh chat "thanh thieng" cua mdi quan he, dd - dii mau thuan la khdng the tranh khdi, vg chdng van phai chung sdng vdi trgn ddi Vdi nhirng gia tri giao ly can ban nhu vay, dao Cdng giao cd vai trd nhat dinh ttong viec didu chinh hanh vi va dinh hudng cho mdi quan he vg chdng hudng tdi su ben viing, dn dinh dac biet tinh hudng "nhay cam" dang cd mau thuin vg chdng Thuc hanh nghi ll tdn giao ed tim quan hrgng dac biet ddi vdi tdn giao ndi chung, va cac tin dd tdn giao ndi rieng (Levy & Razin, 2006, 2012), nghi le la su 72 Nghien ci>u Gia dinh va Gio-i Quyen 30, s6 2, tr 69-80 bidu hidn ben ngoai cua nidm tm tdn giao, la su bidu dat cho nhiing gia tri tdn giao Ddi vdi dao Cdng giao, cd hai nghi Id tdn giao co ban nhat: di Id Nha thd, cau nguyen hang Thdm vao dd, Dao Cdng giao cd nhieu nhiing boat ddng khac dd thu hiit su tham gia cua cac tin dd nham ciing cd ddi sdng diic tin ciia hg tham gia vao nhdm, hdi doan, ca doan, dang hoa Nhiing hoat ddng thuc hanh tdn giao cd vai trd thuc day niem tin tdn giao cung nhu dinh hudng hanh vi, ling xir cua vg chdng ttong qua trinh xay mau thuan C a c gia tri dao dire, cam ket ton gi^o thuc day lua chgn c^ch thii'c giai quyet mau thuan vo* chong theo chieu h u i ^ g on hoa Be giai quydt mau thudn vg chdng, theo McNutty, Kamey (2004) vide cd dugc nhiing chidn luge xir ly la quan trgng va can thidt Cd nhidu hinh thiic giai quydt man thuan giiia vg va chdng nhung didu quan trgng la vg chdng can giai quyet mau thuan kip thdi, chu ddng khdng ndn dd keo dai, cang nang na hon (Ld Thi, 2009) Trong mdi lidn he vdi tdn giao, kdt qua phan tich dii lieu cua bai vidt cho thay: (1) nidm tin tdn giao dinh hudng vide giai quydt mau thuan vg chdng gia dinh Cdng giao theo xu hudng dn hda (2) chinh cac cam kdt tdn giao cd tac dgng thiic day qua trinh hda giai, lira chgn giai quyet mau thuan theo xu hudng dn hda Didu thd hien rd so sanh giira hai nhdm gia dinh nghidn cuu (cung theo dao Cdng giao va khdng cimg theo dao Cdng giao) Bang I Mirc tham gia cuavg* ch6ng vao viec glM quy^t mau thuan theo chi^u hudng on hda (%) Cach giai quylt mau thuan Cung theo dsio Cong giao (n=205) ngutri Khdng ciing theo d^o Cong giao (n=101) Cahai Khong ngudi Cahai Nhudng nhjn 52,2 37,1 5,9 71,3 22,8 Chu ddng hda giai, Iam lanh 44,9 44,4 9,9 67,3 22,8 Chiu thua thiet ve minh 38,5 41,5 14,9 68,3 16,8 Ngudn: Kdt qua khao sat luSn an Tien sy, 2017 Cu Thi Thanh Thiiy 73 Ddi vdi nhiing gia dinh ea vg va chdng ciing theo dao Cdng giao, xu hudng chung la ca vg va chdng diu lira chgn each giai quyk dn hda nhiSu hon so vdi nhihig cap vg chdng khdng ciing thee dao Cdng giao Mdt nhitng ly quan dd la viec cung tdn giao - giiip hg dl dang hon vice chia se nhiing gia hi dao diic tdn giao, nhirng gia tti khuyen khich ca nhan cd long yeu thuong, vi tha, sin sang tha thii, biet tdn h-gng suy nghi va hanh ddng cua ngudi khac Trgng Kinh Dag Cdng giao, nhiing gia tri dugc nhic di nhSc lai nhidu lan: Anh em hay "yeu thuong ngudi than can nhu chinh minh" (Lc 10,2528), "hay yeu thuong nhu Diic Gie-su da yeu thuong" (Ga 13,34; 15,12), tinh yeu thuong la khdng khang khang bat ngudi khac theo y minh, ngudi ed tinh yeu thuong khdng ddi hdi mgi viec phai theo y minh, nhu the y kidn minh ludn ludn diing, khdng thao ding ngudi khac, khdng cd chap vi tinh ed chap bgc Id mgt mirc dp kieu ngao "su kieu ngao di trudc, sir bai hoai theo sau" (Cham ngdn 16:18) Ngu that su yeu thuong, thi can phai tdn trgng quan diem cua ngudi khac, va neu cd the dugc, thi sin Idng nhan nhugng Tinh than nhan nhugng hda hgp dd la "chd tim Igi rieng cho minh, nhung hay tim cho ke khac" (ICd 10:24) Khi cd tinh yeu thucmg thi ngudi ta thudng khdng de dang ndng gian vi Idi ndi hoac hanh ddng ciia ngudi khac Trong ddi sdng hdn nhan, day la nhihig gia tri quan trgng giiip cac cap vg chdng kiem soat va dieu tiet hanh ddng ciia minh, dSc biet hong vice quan ly va kim ham eac mau thuin, xung dot Scanzoni va Amett (1987) nhan thiy ring thdng qua eac hoat ddng tdn giao chung va rieng, cae ddi tac thudng dat dugc trang thai chung, hudng vao cac gia tri ciia yeu thuong va cham sdc Cd le, sir tham gia tdn giao tang cudng nhihig phim chit quan he lam giam xung dot hong hdn nhan Dudley va cdng sir (1990: 82) cho thiy su tham gia tdn giao da giup cac cap vg chdiig thudng xuyen "nghi din nhung nhu ciu ciia ngudi khac, bigt yeu thuong nhieu hon va tha thii, tdn h-gng ung xu, va giai quyet xung dot" Cac nha nghien ciiu khac ciing da nhin manh cac dure tinh nhu Idng vi tha la rat quan frgng vdi su than mat hdn nhan (Wallerstein va cdng sir, 1995) Hay ndi each khac, gia tti dao ditc tdn giao dugc xem la ddng vai trd dinh hudng cho hanh vi cua ca nhan tuong tac hang ngay, gdp phin giam giam thiSu va phdng ngira nhihig mau thuin cd thd phat sinh giua vg chdng ca hai cimg chia se nhirng dinh hudng gia hi tuong ddng va ciing cd su tdn trgng, yeu thuong, cham sdc lan Cac dir lieu dinh tinh cung minh chimg cho diiu nay, vdi can hdi phdng vin sau: ma hai bac bit ddng, bac thudng xii ly thi nao? Cau tra loi cho 74 Nghien CLFU Gia dinh va Gio'i Quyen 30, so 2, tr 69-80 thay ngudi Cdng giao ludn cd gang thuc thi tinh than nhudng nhin lan "Ong ay cd ndi gi md tdi thdy khdng vui tdi di cho khdc cho lang xudng chu khong tranh luan dung sai Tdi thudng xuyen Id ngudi nhdn nhin nhihig vdn de cd the xay tranh cai, minh nhin cd mdt gi ddu, md cdn duoc dm gia dinh nita Di Nhd thd cha cUng day phdi nhdn duac thi mdi hanh dgng duac" (Nii, 62 tudi, ndi trg) Chmh cac gia tri dao dire ciia dao Cdng giao dinh hudng cho vg chdng gia dinh Cdng giao lua chgn each giai quydt khuydn ran ngudi phai bidt nhan nhin de chung sdng vdi thuan hda: ''Phuc cho nhiing mang igi hoa thuan vi Thuong De se ggi hg Id cdi Ngai", va phai bidt chap nhan nhiing thua thiet ve minh "neu vd md phdi nguoi, thi hay gia md niia " vi dd chinh la bac ai, vi tha Thdm vao dd, cac cam kdt hdn nhan ciia ngudi Cdng giao ciing la nhSn td thiic day hg lira chgn cac giai phap giai quydt mau thuan vg chdng theo chiau hudng dn hda Cam kdt hdn nhan chinh la su thd hiia giiia ngudi nam va ngudi nii vdi vd ddi sdng vg chdng, trudc su ehimg kidn cua Thidn Chiia va cdng doan Hgi thanh, vi cd nhirng cam kdt nan mdi quan he vg chdng mdi dugc Thidn Chua thiat lap Mgt vai nghian ciiu d nude ngoai cho thay, cac cap vg chdng dua dan Nha thd va thuc hidn vide cam kdt hdn nhan vTnh vidn da khuydn khich hg tang cudng su hda giai cd man thuin xuSt hien (Lehrer va cdng su, 1993; Booth va cdng su, 1995; Wilson cdng su, 1996; Holeman, 2003) Bdi theo quan niem cua dao Cdng giao, ly hdn la didu cam ky, nen cac cap ddi can tim each giai quydt van dd sinh hdn nhan dd tidp tuc tri mdi quan he hdn nhan Cac cam kdt hdn nhan cd kha nang didu chinh hanh vi va thiic d4y vide lua chgn giai quydt man thuan theo xu hudng dn hda "Vg chdng tdi da the vdi Chiia yeu thuong mgi rdi tdt nhien phdi gia Idi the chir, nen cd vdn de gi di chdng niia, thi ciing phdi kiim chi, vg ndng thi chdng phdi lanh, chdng Idn tieng thi vg phdi bdt Idi, vg chong vdi chdp gi chuyen thdng thua, dung sa^ (Nam, 55 tudi, xe dm) "Chinh Chiia da Idm cho cugc hdn nhdn cua tdi ludn cd su sudn se, chit nhdn lam cho cugc sdng hdn nhdn cita vg chdng hodn thien, Idi thi tuyen hira vg chdng lam cho chung tdi gdn bd vd nhudng nhin, yeu thuong han Ldi Chiia day da dn sau vdo Idng cita chung tdi rdi, nen du cd mdu thudn vdi di chdng nita cUng phdi nhudng nhin nhau" (Nii 62 tudi, ngi trg) Cii Thi Thanh Thiiy 75 Co the thay, ddi vdi ngudi Cdng giag giai viec quydt man thuin xu hudng dn hda la thuc thi ldi day cua Thien Chiia, hiu hSt eac gia dinh cd vg hoac chdng, hoac ca hai lua chpn each thiic Nhdm gia dinh khdng cd thuc thi xu hudng giai quyk mau thuin theo chidu hudng dn hda khdng nhiiu Nhihig gia dinh cd sir tucmg ddng tdn giao giira vg va chdng thi thudng lira chgn each thirc giai quySt nhiiu ban sc vdi gia dinh vg chdng khdng cung theo dao Cdng giao Cac cam kit tdn giao vi hdn nhan thiic diy qua trinh hda giai, lua chgn each thiie giai quyit mau thuin giOa vg va chdng thee chiiu hudng dn hda Thirc hanh t6n giao giup xoa diu mau thuan, thiic diy giai quyit mau thuan theo chilu hvdng tich cue, on hoa Tdn giao cd the tham gia giai quyet xung dot gia dinh thdng qua cac hoat ddng thuc hanh tdn giao da timg dugc ban luan qua mdt sd nghien ciiu nhu: Nghien ciru cua Greenberg va cdng su (1998) tim thay ldi ciu nguyen la quan trgng de lam mem mdi quan he, tag dieu kien giai quyet xung ddt Trong mdt nghien ciiu dinh tinh Marsh va cdng sir (2001) da cd gang lam sang td ve each tdn giao cd the giiip cac cap vg chdng ddi phd hieu qua vdi cac cudc xung dot hdn nhan Hg phat hien rang thuc hanh tdn giao nhu ldi cau nguyen da giup cac cap vg chdng Cdng giao quan ly dugc sir tire gian ciia hg cudc xung dot hdn nhan (Nathaniel va cdng su, 2006) Nghien ciiu ciia Curtis va cdng sir (2002) cho thiy ring viec tham gia tdn giao cua ngudi dan dng ti le nghjch vdi nhihig van de cua hdn nhan Nhirng ldi cau nguyen ciing cd tac dung lam giam su tieu cue, sir khinh miet, va thu dich, ciing nhu phan ling cam xiic ddi vdi ngudi ban ddi (Butler va cdng sir, 2002) Vi mat ly thuydt, tdn giao ndi chung - vdi tu each la mdt thiit chi xa hdi dugc coi la mdt cdng cu him hieu trcng viec hg giup xa hdi, bdi chiic nang "din bii hu ao", lien kit xa hgi ciia nd Khi miiu thuiin xay ra, du d miic nao diu di lai nhiing he qua khdng mong mudn len chu the cia mdi quan he ma trudc nhit la nhirng tdn thuong vi mat tam ly nhu budn buc, chan nan, tham chi edn gay nhimg ran nut tinh cam vg chdng Dir heu phan tich hcng bai viit cho thiy, viec thuc hanh tdn giao giup xoa diu nhirng tdn thuong mit mat tinh cam cua cae tin dd bing each khuyen nhu hg khdng ngimg "cau nguyen", din nha thd va tham gia thuc hanh tdn giao Trudc hit, ngudi Cdng giao thudng ciu nguyen cd van de xay Uong mdi quan he vg chdng Sd lieu khao sat cho thiy, xay mau thuan vg chdng hiu hit ngudi Cdng giao diu tiin hanh can nguyen, chi cd 9,5% chua 76 Nghien ciru Gia dinh va Gio-i Quyen 30, so 2, tr 69-80 bao gid cau nguyen Cau nguyen la dd dugc giai tda, mong nhan su trg giup vd hinh tii Thidn Chiia de cd thd hda giai man thuan "Khi vg chdng tdi mdu thudn, tdi cd den Nhd thd cdu nguyen cdu nguyen xong cdm thdy thodi mdi, mgi cdi dugc gidi tda" (Nam, 31 tudi, kinh doanh) "Mdi Idn cdu nguyen xong thdy long minh nhe nhom hon, nhu kieu dugc gidi tda ay, cdu nguyen vdi Chua minh cd the khdc ldc, than van md khdng so dieu gi cdm thdy cUng nhe long han" (Nii, 28 mdi, kinh doanh) Cku nguyen la each dd giai tda nhiing am lie, dd tam su, chia se, giai bay vdi Thidn Chua, dd xin on lanh "hdn, xac" Cau nguyen cdn giiip hg tin tudng vao tuong lai tdt dep hon, cho rang nhiing khd khan mdi quan he vg chdng se dugc Thuong de hda giai Ngoai ra, thuc hanh tdn giao bang each di Id Nha thd cUng giiip ngudi Cdng giao vugt qua nhiing cam xiic rieu cue, xoa diu nhung tdn thuong ve mat tinh than Vide ddn Nha thd dugc coi la den vdi Thidn Chiia dd cau nguydn, xin on bii dSp nhirng tdn thuong mat mat mat tinh than, lam cho ndi budn dugc ngudi ngoai, giam nhiing hue tiic khd chiu long, cd cai nhin khoan dung lugng vdi ngudi ban ddi, ddng thdi cung xet lai ldi ndi va hanh ddng ciia minh "Nhieu dang khd chiu hay budn ba ve gia dinh lam, nhung cir den nhd thd Id het, den de di le cdu nguyen, rdi gap go mgi ngudi Id thdy long nhe nhom hdn em a" (Nii, 35 tudi, cdng chiic) Viec tham gia cac hgi doan tdn giao ciing mang lai nhiau Igi ich tich cue vd mat tinh than, la noi de mgi ngudi trao ddi, giiip ve nhiing khd khan ddi sdng "Tham gia cdng dodn la cdm thdy ngudi vui ve khoan khodi, khde manh, gia dinh vdn Id hanh phiic vui ve lam, ke cd chdng cd khdng cd di nhung lai khuyen khich vg di, bdo Id di cho no cd hdi dodn, bgn be vui ve, chit d nhd chd cd on ich gi, tir cd tham gia thdy vui ve han, thdm chi cdn thich nita minh nhiet thdnh vdi cdng viec nhd Chua, chua thudng cdng cho" (Nii, 45 tudi, ban Hanh giao) "Chi tham gia ddi ddng hoa Tham gia a ddy cd cdc chi em, cdc So tam su ve mgi chuyen cudc sdng Cd cdc Sa thi minh cd (hdc mdc gi thi Sa cd the gidi dap giiip minh hoac Id nhitng chi em di trudc minh ngudi ta se giiip minh Mgi ngudi (hudng chia se vdi vi nhiing chuyen ddi sdng hdng cua minh, cdch irng xii cua minh chdng han thi ngudi ta cd the dua cho minh nhirng ldi khuyen, bdi vi ngudi ta ciing lan tudi han minh" (Nir, 28 tudi, ndi trg) Cu Thi Thanh Thuy 77 Ben canh dd, viec thuc hanh Cdng giao giiip dinh hudng hanh vi cua vg chdng qua trinh giai quyit xung dot bing each: 1) yeu ciu cac tin dd "xet minh" (mpt dang kiem diem ban than) thuc hanh vice Xung tdi; 2) nhic nhd, giang giai v i cac gia tri dao diic trpng hdn nhan Cung gidng nhu can nguyen, ngudi Cdng giao dugc khuyen nen thuc hien viec "xet minh" hing ngay, d i "chira bd nhung thdi hu tat xiu", cdn xung tdi thi khdng nhit thiit phai thue hien hang Xung tdi ddi vdi ngudi Cdng giao la tam sir vdi Chiia, ddng thdi sam hdi tdi ldi cua minh, d i dugc rude ll (nghi thiic an hanh ma ngudi Cdng giag cho ring dd la banh Thanh) Xung tdi huge cac tin phai "xet" lai hanh vi, ldi ndi ciia minh ddi vdi moi ngudi, tir dd cd nhiing diiu chinh hanh vi cho phu hgp Sd lieu khao sat cho thiy, 71,2% ngudi Cdng giao thuc hien viec xung tdi mau thuin vg chdng xay va cd 28,8% khdng thuc hien viec "Nhieu Idn cdi v&i va, minh cUng co nhiing lai noi khong diing, thi thodng noi bay chdng han, thi ciing nha md di Xung tpi vai Cha, cha lai nhac nha vdi cdu de minh khong noi bay niia noi chung Idm sai thi phdi nhd md xung toi, chu khong xung thi lam Chua tha thu cho minh duac" (Nam, 28 taoi, tu do) "Moi Idn xung toi, hoac trudc nhd tha cd le minh se di sang sam trudc, de doc kinh cdu nguyen sdm hoi, xet minh, de duac rude le Neu minh cd loi cuoc song, chdc chdn la thdy xdu ho, cdm gidc sang nhd tha minh cd loi cue ki, di chi cui mat thoi, khong ngang mat len nhin Chua duac ddu Minh sang nhd thd, sdm hoi, xin Chua cho minh liic ndo cUng cdn phdi binh tmh, tdm minh lang lai de xu ti moi viec khdc han Minh di xung toi da sdm hoi toi loi, ldi dn tieng ndi cija minh" (Nir, 28 tadi, ndi trg) Viec dinh hudng hanh vi cua vg chdng qua trinh giai quyet mau thuin cdn dugc thuc hien gian tiip thdng qua cac bai giang ciia Cha tren Nha thd cac cap vg chdng thudng xuyen dugc nhac nhd ve nhiing gia tri dao diic cua tdn giao, eua hdn nhan "Chinh Chua ban cho Cha kha ndng gidng day vd Cha gidng day va chong phdi hda thuan, khong duac cdi minh, minh di minh phdi nghe ldi Cha, Cha luc ndo cung day phdi an a Idnh chir khong day mdng chui nhau, minh Id ngudi Cdng gido sdng phdi lam chimg cho Chua, ddnh cai chui thi Idm chimg Idm sao, di xung toi Cha ciing nhdc nhd phdi din toi ldi minh khdng sdng lanh, cho nen va chdng song vdi gidm di nhieu, hda thudn vdi la chinh khdng Ion xon" (Nii, 70, nghi hmi) Trong nhiiu ll, linh muc thudng giang giai v i nhimg dao ly hdn nhan, gia dinh va cugc sdng, hi dd cac tin dd lira chgn each sdng 78 Nghien ci>u Gia dinh va Gio-i Quyen 30, so 2, tr 69-80 each ling xir cua ban than; "binh thudng di le nghe cha gidng ve hdn nhdn, cudc song, doi nhdn xu the giiia ngudi vdi ngudi, cdc vdn de xa hgi Nhimg ndi chung Id cha gidng la hudng mgi ngudi img xu dn hda, sdng thien, sdng cd dao" (Nir, 28 tudi, ndi trg) "Thu ndo tdi cdng di hdng tudn cu thii la nhd thd co le thay chii nhat Tudn ndo tdi cUng di deu, khdng di duoc cdm gidc thieu di cdi gi day Thir nhdt den nhd thd de cha gidng le day ngudi thdnh ngudi tdt, khdng dn gian ndi ddi, khdng dn cdp dn from, khdng dn ndi idng nhdng ndi tuc chui bay, khuyen gia dinh, vg chong sdng chung thuy, yeu thuong nhau, sdng bdc di, hy sinh Thir hai, la de cdu xin Chua ban bdng an cho gia dinh manh khde, vui ve song vdi cho tdt (hdi (Nii, 62 tudi, ndi trg) Chinh vide ludn dugc nhac nhd vd nhirng gia tri tdn giao cua hdn nhan, ciing Iam cho cac cap vg chdng phai didu chinh hanh vi dd cd nhirng img xu phii hgp vdi chuan muc tdn giao Cd thd thay, each thiic giai quydt man thuan vg chdng, dfio Cdng giao khdng hudng tdi giai quydt chinh van dd gay nen tiidi trang mau thuan, ma hudng tdi nhung giai phap mang tinh dn hda, gan vdi hanh vi, thai ciia vg chdng qua trinh giai quydt mau thuan Bang vide thuc hien cac nghi Id tdn giao nhu cau nguyen, di Id nha thd, xung tdi, xet minh, nhac nhd cac gia tri dao diic cua tdn giao va hdn nhan, dao Cdng giao da cd vai trd quan trgng vide xoa diu, giam bdt nhiing tdn thuong vd mat tinh cam, tinh thin mau thuan vg chdng, thiic day hg lira chgn cac giai phap dn hda nham hda giai man thuan Ket luan Ngudi Cdng giao thudng xuydn tim ddn sir trg giiip cua Thien Chiia qua trinh giai quydt mau thuan vg chdng gia dinh bang each thuc hanh tdn giao nhu xung tdi, hay can nguyen, di nha thd, tham gia cac hdi nhdm tdn giao Hg tin rang bang each thiic nao dd Thidn Chiia cd thd hda giai nhirng mau thuin, bat ddng cudc hdn nhan cua hg, cho ndn kdnh trg giiip ludn dugc vien dan ddn cd mau thuan xay Cac gia tri dao diic, niam tin, thuc hanh, cam kat tdn giao da gdp phan tich cue vao qua trinh didu hda, giai quydt man thuan vg chdng gia dinh Cdng giao Cac cam kdt hdn nhan la ydu td quan trgng thiic day ca nhan lira chgn giai quydt theo chidu hudng dn hda, thiic day Idng vi tha, thiic day vide tidp can giai quydt theo chiau hudng quan ly mau thuan, khdng dd mau thuan pha vd quan he hdn nhan Cac kdnh trg giup tir tdn giao td hidu qua viec lam giam nhung he qua tieu cue cua mau thuan, giiip ca nhan vugt qua trang thai tam ly tidu cue, ban chd va ban gan nhiing ran nut quan he vg chdng Cu Thi Thanh Thdy 79 TM lif u trich dan Blli Phuong Thanh 2013 Binh huong gid tri hdn nhdn cua nien theo dao Thien chiia a Hd Noi Men Luan van Thac sT Khoa XHH - trudng DHKHXH&NV Butler, M H., Stout, J A., & Gardner, B C 2002 "Prayer as a conflict res-olution rihial: Clinical implications of religious couples' report of rela- tionship soiiening, healing perspective, and change responsibility" American Journal of Family Therapy, 30(1), pp.19-22 Booth, A., Johnson, D R., Branaman, A., & Sica, A 1995 "Belief and Behavior: Does Religion Matter in Today's Marriage?" Journal of Marriage and Family, 57 (3), pp 661-671 Cii Thi Thanh Thuy 2012 Vai trd cua tdn gido viec gido diic cdc gid tri dao due cho tre em theo dao Thien Chita gido Luan van Thac si Khoa XHH hudng DHKHXH&NV Chu Van Tien 2014 Hdn nhdn khdc ton gido: Dac diem vd tinh ben viing (nghien ciru trudng hap hon nhdn giiia ngudi Cdng gido vd ngudi khong theo Cong gido tai gido xir Nghia Ai, Hap Thanh, My Ditc, Hd Noi) Luan van Thac sT Khoa XHH - Trudng DHKHXH&NV Dudley, M G., & Kosinski, F A 1990 Religiosity and marital satisfaction: A research note Review of Religious Research 32: 78-86 Doan Thi Phuong Thao 2013 Tinh ben viing hon nhdn cita nhirng gia dinh theo dga Thien Chtia gido tai Hd Noi hien (nghien cim trudng hgp giao xii Cd Nhui, Tu Liem, Ha Ngi) Luan van Thac si Khoa XHH - hudng DHKHXH&NV Greenberg L S., & Johnson, S M 1998 Emotionally focused therapy for couples (p New York: Guilford Press) Holeman, V T 2003 "Marital reconciliation: A long and winding road" Journal Journal of Psychology, 22(3), pp 30-40 Kinh Thanh 2009 Nxb.Tdn giao Lehrer, E L., & Chiswick, C U 1993 "Religion as a Determinant of Marital Stability" Demography, https://doi.org/10.2307/2061647 Levy, G., & Razin, R 2006 A Theory of Religion: Linking Individual Beliefs, Rituals, and Social Cohesion Department of Economics WP, LSE, September, 1-27 Levy, G., & Razm, R 2012 "Religious beliefs, religious participation, and cooperation" American Economic Journal: Microeconomics, 4(3), 121-151 https://doi.Org/I0.1257/mic.4.3.121 80 Nghien ci>u Gia dinh va Giai Quyen 30, so 2, tr 69-80 Le Diic Hanh 2012 Hdn nhdn vd nep sdng dao gia dinh ngudi Viet Cdng gido Nxb Van hda Ha Ndi Ld Thi 2009 "Quan niem nhan thiic cua cac the he vd mau thuin gia dinh va each khac phuc" Tap chiXd hgi hgc, sd 3, tr.23-31 Marsh, R D., & Dallos, R 2001 Roman Catholic couples: Wrath and reli- gion (p Family Process, 40, 343-460) Nathaniel M Lambert, D C D 2006 "How Religiosity Helps Couples Prevent, Resolve, and Overcome Marital Conflict" Family Relations, 55(4), 439-449 http://ezp roxy.liberty.edu: 204 8/login?url=http://search.proquest CO m/docview/ 213932855?accountid=12085, Scanzoni, J., and Amett, C 1987 "Policy implications derived from a styudy of raral and urban marriages" Family Relations 36: 430-436 Yd Van Thanh 2014 "Thir ban vd nidm tin ddi thudng va niem tin tdn giao" Nguyet San Gidc Ngd, Phu truong Nghien ciiu Phat hgc cua Bao Giac Ngd, 215,59-65 Vu Dung 2014 "Niem tin cua cdng ddng Tin lanh cac dan tdc thieu sd Tay Nguyen vao luc lugng than linh va the gidi linh hdn" Tap Chi Tdm Ly Hgc, sd 7,tr 1-8 Wallerstein, J., & BIkeslee, S 1995 The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts New York: Houghton Mifflm Wilson, J., & Musick, M 1996 "Religion and Marital Dependency" Journal for the Scientific Study ofReigion (35), pp 30-40  ... bang chimg hay khdng, nhung cac tin dd vin tin tudng vao tinh chan ly cua nd So vdi cac tdn giao khac, dao Cdng giao la tdn giao ddi hdi cao ve mire niem tin cua cac tin dd, ddng thdi hira hen phin... su tham gia cua cac tin dd nham ciing cd ddi sdng diic tin ciia hg tham gia vao nhdm, hdi doan, ca doan, dang hoa Nhiing hoat ddng thuc hanh tdn giao cd vai trd thuc day niem tin tdn giao cung... nhirng ed niem tin tdn giao virng vang "Phue cho nhung khdng thay ma tin, vi nude Trdi la cua hg" (Kinh Tam mdi Phiic that) Trong bai viet nay, niem tin tdn giao ciia vg chdng Cdng giao the hien