1 TOEFL iBT ESSAY NO.04 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study is Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer ESSAY It is the context of our modern society to force humans to consider in earnest that whether or not the higher education is responsible to include history in their curriculums Skeptics believe that human race has reached the point in which the dominance of science subjects over social ones is beyond argument From my point of view, for its vital roles in development process of our descendants, history deserves the serious attention from academic authorities = Chính b i c nh c a xã h i hi n đ i ngày bu c ng i ph i cân nh c m t cách nghiêm túc li u r ng n n giáo d c b c đ i h c có trách nhi m đ a mơn l ch s vào ch ng trình gi ng d y c a hay khơng Nh ng ng i hoài nghi tin r ng loài ng i ch m đ n m t c t m c mà s th ng tr c a b môn khoa h c lên b môn xã h i không th bàn cãi Theo quan m c a tơi vai trò quan tr ng c a ti n trình phát tri n c a h u du l ch s x ng đáng có đ c s quan tâm m t cách nghiêm túc t nh ng c quan làm giáo d c On the one hand history is the mirror which reflects the whole humans lessons throughout the course of time Indeed, it is since the dawn of human civilization did our ancestors realize that all the social landscape was made up of events which had been repeated Hence, there is no doubt that the lack of historical knowledge is the main reason to facilitate crises in global scale coming up against our development over and over again For instance, during the dark years of fascism in Germany, fascist authority did allocate an enormous part in national budget to conceal the true history under the mist of pseudo-evidence As a result, millions of German adolescents had been nourished by a misconception called racism whose consequence was the death of millions of the innocent Such kind of crisis is the most typical sign of the BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL countries ruled over by the dictatorship administration Therefore, the coming graduates should be equipped with historical lessons no matter of their majors are This move is to ensure that terrible historic flaws would never be sparked again = M t m t l ch s t m g ng ph n chi u toàn b h c c a nhân lo i xuyên su t dòng ch y th i gian Th t v y t bu i bình minh c a n n văn minh loài ng i t tiên c a nh n r ng m i hình thái xã h i đ u đ c hình thành t nh ng s ki n l p l p l i Vì v y khơng nghi ng s thi u ki n th c l ch s tác nhân t o u ki n cho nh ng cu c kh ng ho ng quy mơ tồn c u n i lên ch ng l i s phát tri n c a Ví d su t nh ng năm tr ng tăm t i c a ch nghĩa phát xít Đ c ph phát xít đ m t ph n l n ngân sách qu c gia vào vi c che gi u th đ c g i l ch s th t s d i l p s ng mù c a nh ng ch ng c ng y t o K t qu hàng tri u thi u niên Đ c đ c nuôi d ng b ng m t quan ni m sai l m đ c g i ch nghĩa phát xít mà h u qu ch t c a hàng tri u ng i vô t i Ki u kh ng ho ng nh th d u hi u n hình nh t c a nh ng qu c gia b cai tr ph đ c tài Vì th nh ng sinh viên s p t t nghi p nên đ c trang b ki n th c l ch s b t k ngành h c c a h Đ ng thái nh m đ m b o sai l m mang tính l ch s s không bao gi đ c kh i mào n a On another aspect history is the nation s identity It is inevitable that our world is on the way of globalization In this context, each country, especially developing countries, are easy to lose its concept of tradition, culture, and moral standards In fact, the disappearance of these precious identities could raise the conflicts inside the country itself and to the rest of the world For instance, the constant hostility that lasted for years in Middle East has hamstrung the schooling of millions of children Armed with no historical lesson about their nation's culture and features, children grew up in a misconception of blind patriotism, then enlisted in terrorist organizations at the age of adolescence At the consequence, the lack of history lessons did erode national identity and fueled the core reason of almost the conflicts of the world afterwards, especially between the Islamic Nations and the West = m t khía c nh khác l ch s b n s c qu c gia Có m t s th t không th tránh kh i r ng th gi i c a b c đ ng tồn c u hóa Trong b i c nh m i qu c gia đ c bi t n c phát tri n r t d đánh m t khái ni m v truy n th ng văn hóa tiêu chu n đ o đ c c a Trên th c t s bi n m t c a nh ng b n s c quý giá có th làm d y lên nh ng xung đ t bên qu c gia v i ph n l i c a th gi i Ch ng h n tình tr ng chi n tranh liên miên kéo dài nhi u năm Trung Đông c n tr vi c đ n tr ng c a hàng tri u tr em Không đ c trang b nh ng h c l ch s v văn hóa đ c tr ng c a qu c gia tr em l n lên v i m t quan ni m sai l m v lòng u n c mù qng sau gia nh p vào t ch c kh ng b tu i thi u niên H u qu vi c BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL thi u h c l ch s làm xói mòn b n s c dân t c sau thúc đ y lý c t lõi cho h u h t cu c xung đ t th gi i đ c bi t gi a qu c gia H i giáo ph ng Tây In conclusion the modern society has covered our eyes with the dominance of technology over social subjects that made the vast majority of us have a serious misperception of history I believe that history is the most critical platform to build the world and academic institutions, especially universities, should take responsibility for including this subject in all of their curriculum = K t lu n xã h i hi n đ i che m t b i s th ng th c a khoa h c kĩ thu t đ i v i môn xã h i mà làm cho đ i b ph n có m t nh n th c sai l m v môn l ch s Tôi tin r ng l ch s n n t ng quan tr ng nh t đ xây d ng th gi i c s giáo d c đ c bi t tr ng đ i h c nên có trách nhi m vi c thêm môn h c vào t t c m i ch ng trình gi ng d y c a h ~462 words~ THEN AND NOW ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION [1] The context of our modern society has raised concerns about whether or not all the university is responsible for including history in their courses [2] Skeptics believe that humans have reached the point in which science subjects are getting better of social ones [3] From my point of view, history which plays the most critical role in laying a foundation in each individual should never be removed from the curriculum REVISED INTRODUCTION [1] It is the context of our modern society to force humans to consider in earnest that whether or not the higher education is responsible to include history in their curriculums [2] Skeptics believe that human race has reached the point in which the dominance of science subjects over social ones is beyond argument [3] From my point of view, for its vital roles in development process of our descendants, history deserves the serious attention from academic authorities COMMENT COMMENT [1] dài dòng b ám nh b i vi c c [1] g t b t nh ng ch di n đ t không g ng nh i nhét t v ng cách di n đ t c n thi t band cao [3] câu tr c có m nh đ quan [3] đ i cách di n đ t h câu Thesis Statement không nên dùng BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL ti p BODY PARAGRAPH PARAGRAPH NO.01 [4] On the one hand, history is the mirror which reflects the whole humans lessons over the course of time [5] Indeed, since the dawn of human civilization, our ancestor had an insight that our world was made up of a series of repeating events [6] Hence, the lack of historical knowledge could pave the way for the crises caused by historic mistakes to rise up over and over again [7] For instance, during the dark years of fascism in Germany, fascist authority did allocate an enormous part in national budget to conceal the true history under the mist of pseudo-evidence [8] As a result, millions of German children who had no opportunity to approach the true historical lessons had been nourished by a misconception called racism [9] Such kinds of crisis usually appear in the countries in which a dictatorship trying to control its people [10] Therefore, the coming graduates are in urgent need of to be equipped with historical knowledge no matter what their majors are [11] This move aims to ensure that terrible historic flaws would never be ignited again BODY PARAGRAPH PARAGRAPH NO.01 [4] On the one hand, history is the mirror which reflects the whole humans lessons throughout the course of time [5] Indeed, it is since the dawn of human civilization did our ancestors realize that all the social landscape was made up of events which had been repeated [6] Hence, there is no doubt that the lack of historical knowledge is the main reason to facilitate crises in global scale coming up against our development over and over again [7] For instance, during the dark years of fascism in Germany, fascist authority did allocate an enormous part in national budget to conceal the true history under the mist of pseudoevidence [8] As a result, millions of German adolescents had been nourished by a misconception called racism whose consequence was the death of millions of the innocent [9] Such kind of crisis is the most typical sign of the countries ruled over by the dictatorship administration [10] Therefore, the coming graduates should be equipped with historical lessons no matter of their majors are [11] This move is to ensure that terrible historic flaws would never be sparked again COMMENT COMMENT [5] nên thay đ i c u trúc câu đ đa [5] dùng đ o ng d ng làm cho ng i đ c không chán đ n ngáp ng n ngáp dài [6] câu liên ti p đ u dùng ch ng [6] dùng c u trúc It is no doubt that d ng ch đ ng d n đ n ru ng ng i đ c [8] thêm ph n gi i thích [8] câu b c t ý [10] dùng should be V3 thay cho BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL [10] nên vi t đ n gi n l i BODY PARAGRAPH NO.02 [12] On another aspect, history is a nation s identity [13] It is inevitable that our world has entered into the globalization process [14] In this context, independent countries, especially developing countries, are easy to lose its concept of tradition, culture, and standards of moral [15] In fact, the disappearance of these precious identities could raise up the conflicts inside the country itself and the conflicts to the rest of the world as well [16] For instance, the constant hostility that lasted for years in Middle East has hamstrung the education of millions of children [17] The lack of historical skills did weaken their self-awareness, nourished a misconception of a blind patriotism, then motivated the enlisting in terrorist organizations at the age of adolescence [18] At the consequence, the lack of history lessons did erode national identity and fueled the core reason of almost the conflicts of the world, especially between the Islamic Nations and the West are in urgent need of BODY PARAGRAPH NO.02 [12] On another aspect, history is the nation s identity [13] It is inevitable that our world is on the way of globalization [14] In this context, each country, especially developing countries, are easy to lose its concept of tradition, culture, and moral standards [15] In fact, the disappearance of these precious identities could raise the conflicts inside the country itself and to the rest of the world [16] For instance, the constant hostility that lasted for years in Middle East has hamstrung the schooling of millions of children [17] Armed with no historical lesson about their nation's culture and features, children grew up in a misconception of blind patriotism, then enlisted in terrorist organizations at the age of adolescence [18] At the consequence, the lack of history lessons did erode national identity and fueled the core reason of almost the conflicts of the world afterwards, especially between the Islamic Nations and the West COMMENT [15] the conflicts inside the country itself and to the rest of the world COMMENT [15] the conflicts inside the country itself and the conflicts to the rest of the [17] thay đ i c u trúc câu world as well s a t v ng [17] di n đ t l ng c ng câu l i m c l i nh di n CONCLUSION đ t [19] In conclusion, the modern society has covered our eyes with the dominance CONCLUSION of technology over social subjects that [19.1] In conclusion, the modern society made the vast majority of us have a BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL has covered people's eyes with the dominance of technology over social subjects [19.2] The vast majority of us think that history is no longer the main subject [20] However, I believe firmly that history is the most critical platform to build the world and schools should take responsibility to include this subject in all of their curriculum COMMENT [19.1]+[19.2] di n đ t dài dòng [20] dùng However khơng h p lý I believe firmly b d firmly ho c 454 words 21 sentences 3-8-7-3 serious misperception of history [20] I believe that history is the most critical platform to build the world and academic institutions, especially universities, should take responsibility for including this subject in all of their curriculum COMMENT [19] g p l i làm [20] b However s a thành I believe 462 words 20 sentences 3-8-7-2 VOCABULARY the context of =b i c nh c a to consider in earnest = cân nh c m t cách nghiêm túc higher education = giáo d c b c cao Curriculums n ch ng trình gi ng d y Skeptic n ng i hoài nghi the dominance of science subjects over social ones = s th ng tr c a môn khoa h c lên môn xã h i is beyond argument = không c n bàn cãi [xem ng c nh] development process = ti n trình phát tri n academic authorities nhà lãnh đ o giáo d c 10 the course of time = dòng l ch s / dòng th i gian 11 the dawn of human civilization = bu i bình minh c a n n văn minh nhân lo i 12 social landscape = hình thái xã h i 13 in global scale = quy mơ tồn c u [xem ng c nh] 14 to allocate = s d ng / phân ph i 15 national budget = ngân sách qu c gia 16 Adolescent [adj] = thu c v thi u niên 17 the death of millions of the innocent = ch t c a hàng tri u ng i vô t i BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL 18 the most typical sign = d u hi u n hình nh t 19 dictatorship administration = ph đ c tài 20 be equipped with be armed with đ c trang b v i đ c vũ trang v i 21 be sparked đ c châm ngòi 22 nation s identity = national identity = b n s c qu c gia 23 Globalization [n] = toàn c u hóa 24 the constant hostility = tình tr ng chi n s liên mien 25 to hamstring = gây tr ng i / làm trì hỗn 26 schooling [n] = vi c đ n tr ng 27 blind patriotism lòng yêu n c mù quáng 28 to enlist = gia nh p 29 terrorist organization = t ch c kh ng b 30 to erode national identity = làm xói mòn b n s c qu c gia 31 to cover one s eyes with the = che m t b ng 32 misperception [n] =nh n th c sai l m 33 the most critical platform = n n t ng quan tr ng nh t 34 academic institution c s giáo d c BUILDING SKILLS FOR IELTS TOEFL ... with historical knowledge no matter what their majors are [11] This move aims to ensure that terrible historic flaws would never be ignited again BODY PARAGRAPH PARAGRAPH NO. 01 [4] On the one hand,... c m i ch ng trình gi ng d y c a h ~46 2 words~ THEN AND NOW ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION [1] The context of our modern society has raised concerns about whether or not all the university is responsible... gi n l i BODY PARAGRAPH NO. 02 [12] On another aspect, history is a nation s identity [13] It is inevitable that our world has entered into the globalization process [ 14] In this context, independent