Writing task 2 8.5+ 8999 some jobs are more suitable for different genders

Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examp

Overall band score 8.5 8+9+9+9

See below C&C LR GRA Model answer

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that men and women have different qualities Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Write at least 250 words

Original answer -

It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this

thinking

Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that

biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are

numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills

Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender

norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty

In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently

suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge

traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on

gender

Overall band score 8.5 8+9+9+9

TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 8

The wording of the question is strange and rather extreme As the question omits

the word more, the implication is that some jobs are only suitable for one gender,

and your position is to disagree with this proposition, which makes sense

However, at no point did you specifically use the word only (or uniquely) when

you made the arguments, even though you used it in the refutation in main body paragraph 2

The fact that most teachers and nurses are women supports the idea that there

are jobs that are better suited to one gender It’s not reinforcing a toxic

stereotype; it’s a reflection of reality and the choices different genders make In most modern societies, men and women are free to go for any career they like, and gender imbalances reflect the choices people make and not toxic stereotypes – which is just a western cliché

If you’d used words like only/uniquely, it would be an excellent answer and good

for a 9

You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued

The ideas are relevant, extended and there are no contradictions

Advice On Brainstorming For Task 2

As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly

ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the

question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're

directly relevant

question

the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2

of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question

ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea

before, as there will always be important differences

that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction

It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make

them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this thinking [a]

Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that

biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses[b] Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are

therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or

firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and

empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in

caregiving, teaching, or nursing[c] However, this view is a sweeping

generalization[d], as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, [e]and that there are numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills [f]

Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs

are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their

chosen fields[g] In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender

norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume

that only [h]women can thrive in the realm of beauty.[i][j][k]

In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are

inherently suitable [l]for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow[m], given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based

on gender.[n]

C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 9

Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors

The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers

Paragraphing for Task 2

I recommend you write 4 paragraphs as follows:

After reading the introduction, the reader should have a

good idea what the essay is about, and what your position

(opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in

under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long

background statement

expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner

that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write 3

main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them

sufficiently to get a high score

 If it’s a two-part question, answer the questions in the order

they’re given and write one paragraph per question

each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and 2 or

more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with

reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with

lots of background information

and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It

should directly answer the question Do not leave the

examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the

question

to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to

reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas

about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered

one side more than the other

extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and

disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with

under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central

topic in a short paragraph.

It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this

thinking

Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that

biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses[o] Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are

numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills [p]

Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and

limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields[q] In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender

norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty.[r]

In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain

jobs are inherently suitable for men or women, I would contend that these

reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can

transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse

workforce, it is essential to challenge traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on gender

LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficient flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control

It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this

thinking

Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that

biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore

more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are

numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills

Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender

norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant[s] Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty

In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently

suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge

traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on

gender

GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Grammar is used accurately with a wide variety of structures, which should be good for a band score 9

Punctuation is used correctly throughout

Appropriate structures are used throughout

It is often argued that men and women possess distinct qualities that make them suited for specific occupations In this essay, however, I will challenge this

thinking

Proponents of the idea of job suitability based on gender might argue that

biological differences between men and women lead to distinct strengths and weaknesses Men, they say, have greater physical strength and are therefore more suited for physically demanding jobs, such as construction or firefighting Women, in contrast, are perceived as more nurturing and empathetic, which supposedly makes them better candidates for roles in caregiving, teaching, or nursing However, this view is a sweeping generalization, as clearly seen in the fact that not all females are physically inferior to males, and that there are

numerous men that exhibit exceptional empathetic and caregiving skills

Moreover, I would emphasize that perpetuating the idea that certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women risks reinforcing toxic stereotypes and limiting the potential of individuals to pursue their passions and excel in their chosen fields In reality, countless examples demonstrate that men and women can be equally successful in any profession, regardless of traditional gender

norms One prime example of this is Ginni Rometty, who was the CEO of IBM, a tech giant Under her leadership, the company made significant strides, and she proved that women are perfectly capable of excelling in tech leadership roles that have traditionally been dominated by males By the same token, prominent male makeup artists like Hung Vango have shown us how wrong it is to assume that only women can thrive in the realm of beauty

In conclusion, while there are justifications that certain jobs are inherently

suitable for men or women, I would contend that these reasons are shallow, given the wide range of individual abilities that can transcend gender stereotypes To support a more inclusive and diverse workforce, it is essential to challenge

traditional gender roles and incentivize individuals to pursue careers that align with their interests and abilities, rather than making assumptions based on

gender