IELTS WRITING TASK 2There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? NÂNG CẤP VOCAB AND GRAMMAR
There have been many inventions in human history, such as the wheel Some people think the most important thing is the internet To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion? In human history, many inventions were created with the purpose of helping people in daily life, and internet is believed to be the most vital one From my perspective, such a statement is an exaggeration, despite some benefits of the internet On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human beings lives are indeniable Firstly, internet is a gigiantic library which stores and disseminates knowledge of mankind through many centuries With the advancement of cybercpace, people can access to it freely and widely For example, almost all students in modern world use the internet as an tool to look up information needed for their projects and assignments at schools Secondly, as an important means of communication, the internet enables people to get in touch with others all over the world Removing geographical barriers, now people are connected with each other By using apps,such as: messenger or snap chat, individuals can contact with friends and relatives, especially who are living far away On the other hand, although the power of the Internet cannot be overstated, I firmly believe that there are even more valuable inventions The first is electricity, without which many devices and applications cannot function, and internet is not an exception This is obviously a leap forward for mankind when all aspects of life such as production, education, and entertainment are improved by electricity,from that the quality of life are improved better than before The second is engines, which are used to power facilities and machines in manufacturing or vehicles This invention boost our life to evlove more, due to it production processes become simpler If there was no engines people might have to use human-powered and animal-powered ones, which would slow down the evolution of human civilization In conclustion, the internet has some enormous advantages for the human race, but there are more significant discoveries, including electricity and engines I predict that along with the Internet, these three inventions will still be the cornerstones of future humanity Kết Nâng cấp từ vựng gigiantic · "Gigantic" is a suitable word, but "enormous" or "vast" are more advanced alternatives that convey a similar meaning of something being extremely large or immense stores and disseminates · While "stores and disseminates" is acceptable, "preserves and disseminates" adds a more refined tone to the sentence, highlighting the internet's role in both conserving and distributing knowledge access to it freely and widely · "Widely" and "extensively" both indicate a broad range of access, but "extensively" is more advanced and appropriate in this context, emphasizing the abundance of information available an tool · The indefinite article "an" should be "a" before the word "tool" because "tool" starts with a consonant sound look up information needed for their projects and assignments at schools · The suggested alternative uses more precise and advanced vocabulary, avoiding repetition of the word "school" and conveying the idea of obtaining necessary information an important means of communication · Both expressions are correct, but "vital communication medium" sounds more sophisticated and better fits the essay's context Removing geographical barriers, now people are connected with each other · The improved version maintains the same idea but uses more advanced vocabulary, like "eliminating" and "interconnected," to enhance the essay's overall tone contact with friends and relatives · "Communicate" is a more advanced and precise term for interacting with others, including various methods like messaging or video calls indeniable · The correct spelling of the word is "undeniable," meaning something that cannot be denied or disputed cannot be overstated · "Cannot be overstated" and "cannot be overemphasized" both work, but the latter is more sophisticated and conveys the idea that the importance of the internet cannot be exaggerated "inventions" -> "discoveries" (in the concluding paragraph) Explanation: While "inventions" is suitable, using "discoveries" adds a more advanced and intellectual tone, referring to significant findings or breakthroughs quality of life are improved better than before · The suggested alternative uses more precise and advanced language to state that the quality of life has experienced a considerable enhancement boost our life to evlove more · The original phrase is unclear and awkward people might have to use human-powered and animal-powered ones · The improved version uses more advanced vocabulary and succinctly conveys the idea that without engines, human and animal labor would have been the primary sources of power cornerstones of future humanity · Both "cornerstones" and "pillars" are suitable, but "pillars" is a more advanced and sophisticated term to describe crucial foundations for the development of human civilization Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp nâng cao Sure, let's go through the essay and identify, correct, and explain the grammar errors: 1) Error: "internet is believed to be the most vital one " Correction: "the internet is believed to be the most vital one " Explanation: In this case, "the" is needed before "internet" because it refers to a specific invention ("the internet") Since we are talking about a particular invention, the definite article "the" should be used 2) Error: "On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human beings lives are indeniable." Correction: "On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human beings' lives are undeniable." Explanation: The possessive form "human beings'" is required to show that the positive impacts are on the lives of human beings Additionally, the correct spelling of "undeniable" is used 3) Error: "internet is a gigiantic library which stores and disseminates knowledge of mankind through many centuries." Correction: "the internet is a gigantic library that stores and disseminates knowledge of mankind throughout many centuries." Explanation: Again, we need to include the definite article "the" before "internet." Also, "gigantic" is spelled correctly, and "throughout" is more appropriate to indicate that knowledge is stored and disseminated over a long period 4) Error: "people can access to it freely and widely." Correction: "people can access it freely and widely." Explanation: The word "to" is unnecessary in this context The correct form is "access it," without the preposition "to." 5) Error: "For example, almost all students in modern world use the internet as an tool to look up information needed for their projects and assignments at schools." Correction: "For example, almost all students in the modern world use the internet as a tool to look up information needed for their projects and assignments at school." Explanation: "An" should be changed to "a" before "tool" since "tool" does not begin with a vowel sound Also, "school" should be in the singular form because we are referring to the general concept of school, not multiple schools 6) Error: "Removing geographical barriers, now people are connected with each other." Correction: "By removing geographical barriers, people are now connected with each other." Explanation: The sentence structure needs improvement "By removing geographical barriers" is a more appropriate introductory phrase, and the adverb "now" should be placed before the verb "are connected" for clarity and flow 7) Error: "By using apps,such as: messenger or snap chat, individuals can contact with friends and relatives, especially who are living far away." Correction: "By using apps such as Messenger or Snapchat, individuals can contact friends and relatives, especially those who are living far away." Explanation: Commas should not be used before "such as" in this context The names of apps should be capitalized, and "who" should be changed to "those" to refer back to "friends and relatives." 8) Error: "although the power of the Internet cannot be overstated, I firmly believe that there are even more valuable inventions." Correction: "Although the power of the internet cannot be overstated, I firmly believe that there are even more valuable inventions." Explanation: "Internet" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun 9) Error: "This is obviously a leap forward for mankind when all aspects of life such as production, education, and entertainment are improved by electricity,from that the quality of life are improved better than before." Correction: "This is obviously a leap forward for mankind when all aspects of life, such as production, education, and entertainment, are improved by electricity, and the quality of life is improved better than before." Explanation: A comma is needed to separate the introductory clause from the main clause Additionally, "and" should be added before "the quality of life," and the verb "is" should agree with the singular subject "quality of life." 10) Error: "The second is engines, which are used to power facilities and machines in manufacturing or vehicles." Correction: "The second is engines, which are used to power facilities and machines in manufacturing and vehicles." Explanation: The word "and" is more appropriate than "or" in this context because engines power both manufacturing machines and vehicles 11) Error: "This invention boost our life to evlove more, due to it production processes become simpler." Correction: "This invention boosts our life to evolve more, due to its production processes becoming simpler." Explanation: The verb "boosts" should agree with the singular subject "invention." "Our life" should be changed to "our lives" to match the plural form, and "evlove" should be corrected to "evolve." Additionally, "due to its production processes becoming simpler" is a more grammatically correct way to express the cause and effect relationship 12) Error: "If there was no engines people might have to use humanpowered and animal-powered ones, which would slow down the evolution of human civilization." Correction: "If there were no engines, people might have to use humanpowered and animal-powered ones, which would slow down the evolution of human civilization." Explanation: In conditional sentences, the correct form of the verb "to be" is "were" for all subjects So, "If there were no engines" is the appropriate construction Additionally, a comma is needed after "engines" to separate the conditional clause from the main clause 13) Error: "In conclustion, the internet has some enormous advantages for the human race, but there are more significant discoveries, including electricity and engines." Correction: "In conclusion, the internet has some enormous advantages for the human race, but there are more significant discoveries, including electricity and engines." Explanation: "Conclusion" is spelled correctly 14) Error: "I predict that along with the Internet, these three inventions will still be the cornerstones of future humanity." Correction: "I predict that, along with the internet, these three inventions will still be the cornerstones of future humanity." Explanation: A comma is needed to separate the introductory clause from the main clause Overall, the essay has been corrected for the grammar errors mentioned above It's essential to pay attention to articles, possessives, verb agreement, and punctuation to enhance the clarity and correctness of the writing Keep practicing and refining your writing skills to improve your overall proficiency in English grammar Great job! If you have any further questions or need more clarifications, feel free to ask Task Response Band Score: 6.0 Quoted text: "From my perspective, such a statement is an exaggeration, despite some benefits of the internet." o Explanation: The writer clearly states their perspective on the topic, which is that considering the internet as the most important invention is an exaggeration However, the explanation lacks depth and does not provide specific reasons or examples to support this perspective o Suggestion for improvement: To strengthen the argument, the writer could provide specific reasons or examples to support their perspective For instance, they could mention other inventions that have had a significant impact on human history, such as the printing press, which revolutionized the spread of knowledge and information o Improved example: "From my perspective, such a statement is an exaggeration, despite some benefits of the internet While the internet has undoubtedly transformed various aspects of human life, it is important to acknowledge other inventions that have had equally profound impacts, such as the printing press, which revolutionized the spread of knowledge and information." Quoted text: "On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human beings lives are indeniable." o Explanation: The writer acknowledges the positive impacts of the internet on human lives However, the explanation could be further developed to provide specific examples of these positive impacts o Suggestion for improvement: To enhance the argument, the writer could provide specific examples of how the internet has positively impacted various aspects of human life For example, they could mention how e-commerce has revolutionized the way people shop, making it more convenient and accessible, or how online education has opened up new opportunities for individuals to learn and acquire knowledge o Improved example: "On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human beings' lives are undeniable For example, e-commerce has revolutionized the way people shop, making it more convenient and accessible Additionally, online education has opened up new opportunities for individuals to learn and acquire knowledge, regardless of their geographical location." Quoted text: "Firstly, internet is a gigiantic library which stores and disseminates knowledge of mankind through many centuries." o Explanation: The writer provides a clear point about the internet being a vast repository of knowledge However, the explanation lacks specific examples or elaboration on how this knowledge is disseminated or accessed o Suggestion for improvement: To strengthen the argument, the writer could provide specific examples of how the internet serves as a repository and disseminator of knowledge They could mention platforms such as online encyclopedias, digital libraries, and educational websites that provide access to a wide range of information and resources o Improved example: "Firstly, the internet functions as a gigantic library that stores and disseminates knowledge of mankind through many centuries Platforms such as online encyclopedias, digital libraries, and educational websites provide individuals with access to a wide range of information and resources, enabling them to expand their knowledge and understanding of various subjects." Quoted text: "Removing geographical barriers, now people are connected with each other By using apps,such as: messenger or snap chat, individuals can contact with friends and relatives, especially who are living far away." o Explanation: The writer acknowledges the role of the internet in connecting people across geographical barriers However, the explanation could be further developed to provide specific examples or elaboration on how these connections have positively impacted relationships and communication o Suggestion for improvement: To enhance the argument, the writer could provide specific examples of how the internet has facilitated communication and strengthened relationships They could mention how platforms like messaging apps and social media have allowed individuals to stay connected with friends and relatives, regardless of distance, and how this has contributed to maintaining and nurturing relationships o Improved example: "Removing geographical barriers, the internet has connected people with each other in unprecedented ways Through platforms like messaging apps and social media, individuals can easily stay in touch with friends and relatives, especially those who are living far away This has not only facilitated communication but also strengthened relationships by enabling regular interaction and sharing of experiences." Quoted text: "The first is electricity, without which many devices and applications cannot function, and internet is not an exception." o Explanation: The writer introduces the idea that electricity is a more valuable invention than the internet However, the explanation lacks further development or specific examples to support this claim o Suggestion for improvement: To strengthen the argument, the writer could provide specific examples of how electricity has had a more significant impact on human life than the internet They could mention how electricity powers essential devices and infrastructure, such as hospitals, transportation systems, and communication networks, without which modern society would not function effectively o Improved example: "The first is electricity, without which many devices and applications cannot function, and the internet is not an exception Electricity powers essential devices and infrastructure, such as hospitals, transportation systems, and communication networks Without electricity, these vital systems would not be operational, significantly impacting human life and societal functioning." Quoted text: "This invention boost our life to evolve more, due to it production processes become simpler." o Explanation: The writer introduces the idea that engines are a more valuable invention than the internet However, the explanation lacks further development or specific examples to support this claim o Suggestion for improvement: To enhance the argument, the writer could provide specific examples of how engines have had a more significant impact on human life than the internet They could mention how engines have revolutionized transportation, manufacturing processes, and agricultural practices, leading to increased efficiency, productivity, and economic growth o Improved example: "This invention boosts our life to evolve more, as production processes become simpler and more efficient Engines have revolutionized transportation, manufacturing processes, and agricultural practices, leading to increased efficiency, productivity, and economic growth Without engines, human civilization would have progressed at a much slower pace." Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear position and addresses all parts of the task However, the argument could be further developed by providing specific reasons and examples to support the perspective that the internet is not the most important invention in human history Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more thorough exploration of the positive impacts of the internet and a deeper analysis of other significant inventions Coherence & Cohesion Band Score: 6.0 Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently with a clear overall progression The writer effectively uses cohesive devices, although there are some instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion within and/or between sentences The referencing and paragraphing are used, but not always logically How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on ensuring that the cohesion within and between sentences is more natural and seamless They should also work on using referencing more clearly and appropriately Additionally, they should pay attention to logical paragraphing to enhance the overall organization of the essay Lexical Resource Band Score: 6.0 Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation For example, "gigiantic" should be "gigantic," "cybercpace" should be "cyberspace," and "evlove" should be "evolve." There are also some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "conclustion" instead of "conclusion." However, these errors not impede communication How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, the writer should focus on using more accurate and appropriate vocabulary It is important to double-check the spelling and word formation to avoid errors that may cause strain for the reader Additionally, the writer should pay attention to collocation and use words in their correct context Grammatical Range & Accuracy Band Score: 6.0 Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which aligns with the Band descriptor The writer effectively uses a variety of sentence structures to convey their ideas However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, although they rarely reduce communication The writer also demonstrates good control of grammar and punctuation, but there are a few errors present How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing and revising their essay for grammar and punctuation errors Paying attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper use of punctuation marks can help enhance the overall accuracy of the essay Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and correct any remaining errors Bài chữa tham khảo In human history, numerous inventions have been created with the aim of facilitating daily life, and the internet is often regarded as the most crucial one However, I believe that such a statement is an exaggeration, despite acknowledging the benefits of the internet On the one hand, the positive impacts of the internet on human lives are undeniable Firstly, the internet serves as a vast repository of knowledge, disseminating information accumulated over centuries With the advancements in cyberspace, people now have unrestricted access to this wealth of information For instance, the internet has become an indispensable tool for students worldwide, allowing them to effortlessly retrieve information for their projects and assignments Secondly, the internet serves as a vital means of communication, connecting individuals across the globe By utilizing applications such as Messenger or Snapchat, people can easily stay in touch with friends and relatives, particularly those residing far away On the other hand, while the internet's power cannot be overstated, I firmly believe that there are even more valuable inventions The first notable invention is electricity, without which many devices and applications, including the internet, would cease to function Electricity has undeniably revolutionized various aspects of life, such as production, education, and entertainment, thereby significantly improving the quality of life The second significant invention is engines, which power facilities, machines, and vehicles This innovation has propelled human progress, as it simplifies production processes Without engines, humanity would have been reliant on human-powered and animal-powered alternatives, impeding the evolution of civilization In conclusion, while the internet offers tremendous advantages to the human race, there are other inventions that hold greater significance, namely electricity and engines I predict that alongside the internet, these three inventions will continue to serve as the cornerstones of future humanity