IELTS WRITING TASK 1PIE CHART PHÂN TÍCH NGỮ PHÁP, CUNG CẤP TỪ VỰNG The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. The given pie charts illustrate the percentage of three age brackets in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050. Overall, while the proportion of youngsters aged 014 experience a decrease, the opposite trend is true for that of seniors over 60 years old. In addition, Italy appears to have a much older population in both years and the percentages of people in 1559 in both countries make up the majority. Regarding 014 and over 60 age groups, at the beginning of the 21st century, the rate of Yemen children accounted for a half of the population,in comparation with 14,3% of Italy. After 50 years, he figures for the young in Italy and Yemen are forecasted to fall to 11,5% and 37%, respectively. By contrast, Italy is predicted to witness a nearly double increase in the data of the elderly, from 24% in 2000 to 42% in 2050. Similarly, there was 3,6% of the senior residents recorded in 2000, in the next 50 years, this statistic is expected to grow slightly to 5,7%. In terms of 1559 age group, in 2000, the proportion of population in this age bracket of Italy was 61%, compared to 46% of Yemen. However, in the next 50 years, whereas the statistic for Yemen is expected to climb to 57,3%, that of Italy may reduce to 46,2%
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1/ Graph Writing - Pie Chart: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant The given pie charts illustrate the percentage of three age brackets in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050 Overall, while the proportion of youngsters aged 0-14 experience a decrease, the opposite trend is true for that of seniors over 60 years old In addition, Italy appears to have a much older population in both years and the percentages of people in 15-59 in both countries make up the majority Regarding 0-14 and over 60 age groups, at the beginning of the 21st century, the rate of Yemen children accounted for a half of the population,in comparation with 14,3% of Italy After 50 years, he figures for the young in Italy and Yemen are forecasted to fall to 11,5% and 37%, respectively By contrast, Italy is predicted to witness a nearly double increase in the data of the elderly, from 24% in 2000 to 42% in 2050 Similarly, there was 3,6% of the senior residents recorded in 2000, in the next 50 years, this statistic is expected to grow slightly to 5,7% In terms of 15-59 age group, in 2000, the proportion of population in this age bracket of Italy was 61%, compared to 46% of Yemen However, in the next 50 years, whereas the statistic for Yemen is expected to climb to 57,3%, that of Italy may reduce to 46,2% Kết Nâng cấp từ vựng Review and Recommendations: experience a decrease · The subject "proportion" is singular, so the verb "experiences" should also be singular to agree with it the opposite trend is true for that of · "Holds for" is a more concise and natural way to express that the opposite trend applies to the other age bracket In addition · "Furthermore" is a more formal and appropriate transition to introduce the next point make up the majority · "Constitute" is a more formal and precise word to describe the formation of the majority Regarding 0-14 and over 60 age groups · This rephrasing clarifies the specific age groups being discussed at the beginning of the 21st century · "In the early 21st century" is a more concise and idiomatic expression the rate of Yemen children accounted for a half of the population, in comparation with 14.3% of Italy · The original sentence is awkwardly structured After 50 years, he figures for the young in Italy and Yemen are forecasted to fall to 11.5% and 37%, respectively · The pronoun "he" is not needed in this sentence By contrast · "In contrast" is the more standard and appropriate phrase to introduce a comparison witness a nearly double increase in the data of the elderly · "Experience an almost twofold increase in the elderly population" is a more precise and formal way to convey the idea there was 3.6% of the senior residents recorded in 2000 · The original sentence lacks proper subject-verb agreement In terms of 15-59 age group · Using "age group" instead of "age bracket" is more commonly used in this context in this age bracket of Italy · "Age group" is a more appropriate term to use, and placing "in Italy" at the end of the sentence improves clarity the statistic for Yemen is expected to climb to 57.3% · Using "percentage" instead of "statistic" is more precise and idiomatic that of Italy may reduce to 46.2% · Again, using "percentage" instead of "statistic" is more accurate Overall, the essay is well-organized, but there are some vocabulary and grammar improvements that can be made to enhance clarity and professionalism The suggested alternatives aim to provide more appropriate word choices and smoother sentence structures Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp nâng cao Sure, let's go through the essay to identify, correct, and explain the grammar errors: Error: "the proportion of youngsters aged 0-14 experience a decrease" Correction: "the proportion of youngsters aged 0-14 experiences a decrease" Explanation: The subject "proportion" is singular, so the verb should also be in the singular form "experiences." Error: "the opposite trend is true for that of seniors over 60 years old." Correction: "the opposite trend is true for those of seniors over 60 years old." Explanation: The correct pronoun to use with the plural noun "seniors" is "those," not "that." Error: "Regarding 0-14 and over 60 age groups, at the beginning of the 21st century, the rate of Yemen children accounted for a half of the population,in comparation with 14,3% of Italy." Correction: "Regarding the 0-14 and over 60 age groups, at the beginning of the 21st century, the rate of Yemeni children accounted for half of the population, compared to 14.3% of Italy." Explanation: a "Yemen children" should be "Yemeni children" to indicate the nationality correctly b "a half" should be "half" to indicate a specific proportion c "in comparation with" should be "compared to" for a proper comparison d "14,3%" should be "14.3%" with a dot as a decimal separator Error: "After 50 years, he figures for the young in Italy and Yemen are forecasted to fall to 11,5% and 37%, respectively." Correction: "After 50 years, the figures for the young in Italy and Yemen are forecasted to fall to 11.5% and 37%, respectively." Explanation: a "he figures" should be "the figures" to refer to the mentioned figures b "11,5%" should be "11.5%" with a dot as a decimal separator Error: "By contrast, Italy is predicted to witness a nearly double increase in the data of the elderly, from 24% in 2000 to 42% in 2050." Correction: "By contrast, Italy is predicted to witness a nearly double increase in the percentage of the elderly, from 24% in 2000 to 42% in 2050." Explanation: "the data of the elderly" should be "the percentage of the elderly" to specify what is increasing Error: "Similarly, there was 3,6% of the senior residents recorded in 2000, in the next 50 years, this statistic is expected to grow slightly to 5,7%." Correction: "Similarly, there was 3.6% of senior residents recorded in 2000 In the next 50 years, this statistic is expected to grow slightly to 5.7%." Explanation: a "3,6%" should be "3.6%" with a dot as a decimal separator b It's better to separate the sentence into two for better clarity and readability c "5,7%" should be "5.7%" with a dot as a decimal separator Error: "In terms of 15-59 age group, in 2000, the proportion of population in this age bracket of Italy was 61%, compared to 46% of Yemen." Correction: "In terms of the 15-59 age group in 2000, the proportion of the population in this age bracket in Italy was 61%, compared to 46% in Yemen." Explanation: a "15-59 age group" should be "the 15-59 age group" for specificity b "of Italy" should be "in Italy" to show the location of the proportion c "of Yemen" should be "in Yemen" to show the location of the proportion Error: "However, in the next 50 years, whereas the statistic for Yemen is expected to climb to 57,3%, that of Italy may reduce to 46,2%" Correction: "However, in the next 50 years, whereas the statistic for Yemen is expected to climb to 57.3%, that of Italy may reduce to 46.2%." Explanation: a "57,3%" should be "57.3%" with a dot as a decimal separator b "46,2%" should be "46.2%" with a dot as a decimal separator These corrections should improve the grammar and clarity of the essay Remember to be consistent with punctuation and use a dot as the decimal separator in English writing Keep up the good work! If you have any further questions or need additional assistance, feel free to ask Task Achievement Band Score: 7.0 Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the given charts and making relevant comparisons It presents a clear overview of the main trends in the age groups of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and 2050 The key features, such as the decrease in the proportion of youngsters and the increase in the proportion of seniors, are clearly presented and highlighted However, the essay could be more fully extended in terms of providing additional details and analysis How to improve: To improve the essay and potentially achieve a higher band score, the writer could provide more specific data and examples to support the main trends mentioned Additionally, they could further analyze the implications of these demographic changes on the respective countries' populations and societies Band Score: 7.0 Coherence & Cohesion Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout The writer uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, although there may be some under-/over-use Each paragraph presents a clear central topic The essay effectively manages paragraphing, using it sufficiently and appropriately How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay They should also ensure that the use of paragraphing is logical and enhances the overall structure of the essay Lexical Resource Band Score: 7.0 Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for some flexibility and precision The writer uses less common lexical items, such as "proportion," "accounted for," and "witness," which shows some awareness of style and collocation There are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, such as "comparation" instead of "comparison," but they not significantly impede communication How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim for more precise and varied vocabulary choices They should also pay attention to word choice and word formation to minimize errors Proofreading the essay carefully can help identify and correct any inaccuracies in vocabulary usage Grammatical Range & Accuracy Band Score: 7.0 Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of a variety of complex structures, such as comparisons, predictions, and percentages The majority of sentences are error-free, and there is good control of grammar and punctuation However, there are a few errors present in the essay How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and use appropriate prepositions Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help identify and correct any minor errors Lưu ýĐiểm số cung cấp để tham khảo khơng phản ánh xác điểm số thức Bài chữa tham khảo The provided pie charts depict the distribution of three age groups in Yemen and Italy in 2000, as well as projected figures for 2050 Overall, there is a decline in the percentage of individuals aged 0-14, while the opposite trend is observed for those aged over 60 Additionally, Italy exhibits a significantly older population in both years, with the majority of people falling within the 15-59 age range in both countries In terms of the 0-14 and over 60 age groups, Yemen had a considerably higher proportion of children, accounting for half of the population in 2000, compared to Italy's 14.3% However, it is projected that in 2050, the percentage of young individuals in Italy will decrease to 11.5%, while Yemen's figure is expected to reach 37% Conversely, Italy is anticipated to experience a nearly twofold increase in the proportion of elderly individuals, rising from 24% in 2000 to 42% in 2050 Similarly, the percentage of seniors in Yemen is projected to slightly increase from 3.6% in 2000 to 5.7% in 2050 Regarding the 15-59 age group, Italy had a higher proportion of individuals in this bracket in 2000, accounting for 61% of the population, compared to Yemen's 46% However, it is predicted that in the next 50 years, Yemen's statistic will climb to 57.3%, while Italy's will decrease to 46.2%