SO 1+2(183+184)-2011 43 NGON NGU & OOl SONG NGON NGU VA V A N H O A /v' MOT SO V A N D E VE H A N H VI KHEN VA GlOl PHAM THj HA (ThS, DHSP Ha Noi) Cd mdt cau hdi dat la ddi vdi hanh vi khen la, lieu cd phai uu the thugc ve gidi nir? Cho den chua the cd dugc nhiing cau tra Idi todn dien ve van de nay, nhung cting da cd duge mot sd nhan dinh nhu sau: - Trong tuong quan so sanh tan suat sir dung Idi khen gitra hai gidi, phu nir ed xu hudng thye hien hanh vi khen nhieu ban nam gidi va khdng quen khen nhieu ddi vdi ngudi cung gidi (phy nii khae) Cdn nam gidi thi nguge lai: hg rat it dua Idi khen vdi ngudi ciing gidi (nam gidi) va ciing khdng thudng xuyen dua Idi khen ddi vdi phu nii (ngudi khae gidi) - Nhting khae biet hanh vi khen giira nam va nir xuat phat tu myc dich su dung Idi khen khae nhau: phy nii su dung Idi khen de xay dyng mdi quan be than mat nam gidi su dyng Idi khen de dua nhting danh gia - Nhirng hanh vi ngdn ngtr cua phy nir thudng hudng vao xay dyng mdi quan he hda hgp, vi the, hanh vi khen duge gid dinh nhu mot phuong tien ndi bat de thye hien chien luge giao tiep dd Chang ban, ket qua nghien cim d New Zealand cua Holmes cho thay, phu nii thye bien khoang 73%> cac hanh vi khen, dd 50%) la cho phu nir khae (cung gidi) va 23%) la cho ddi tugng nam gidi (khae gidi) va hg nhan dugc khoang 68,5%) cac Idi khen dd 50%) la tir cac phu nii khae va 18,5%o la tu nam gidi Cac Idi khen xay giira nam gidi tuong ddi it (8,5%)) Tuy nhien, cau hdi dugc dat la, lieu kit qua cd chiu anh hudng eua viec hdu hit cae nha nghien cuu deu la nir nen cd thi khdng cd mat cae bdi canh ma cac Idi khen giira nam vdi nam xay thudng xuyen ban? - Nam gidi thye bien Idi khen vdi nir gidi nhieu ban la ddi vdi ngudi cung gidi (nam gidi khae) Cho den ed hai each giai thich ve hien tugng nay: Thu nhat, dd la thai tich eye eua nir gidi ddi vdi cac hanh vi khen Phy nii luon ddnh gia cao Idi khen va hg dudng nhu dugc "lap trinh" de luon mong mudn nhan duge nhirng Idi khen Vi the, mgi ngudi thye hien nhieu Idi khen hon ddi vdi nii gidi Thu hai, cung ed mot each giai thich khae dya tren su phan tich ve mdi quan be sue manh xa bgi hudng den vi tri xa bgi mang tinh chat le thugc cua phy nii: Ldi khen the hien sy tan duong Id phuang tien hda hgp xa hdi, hudng den nhdm ngudi khdng chiem uu the ve mat xa hdi de khich le va cung cd Idng ty tin cho hg, ma nir gidi la mdt nhiing nhdm - Phai chdng cd mdi quan he quyen lye vdi ldi khen? Ndi each khae, lieu ldi khen cd boat dgng nhu mot trd choi quyen luc? Mdt ldi khen ed the duge coi nhu mang tinh chat be tren neu nhu ngudi tiep nhan ldi khen cam thay rang nd dugc thye hien nhu mot phep khuyen khich ehu khdng phai dau hieu mong mudn mot mdi lien ket hoac xuat phat tu sy nguong md chan thdnh? Khi giai thieh li tai mgi ngudi thye hien ldi khen khdng thudng xuyen hon vdi nam gidi, khdng it y kien cho rang nam gidi thudng nhin nhan ldi khen nhu Id cae hanh vi de dga the dien nhu gay ngugng ngung, bdi roi, hoae coi Idi khen nhu la chiln luge mang 44 NGON NGUT & 001 SONG tinh chat be tren, dat ngirdi ndi d vi tri cd quyen the Nghien cim eua Woflson (1983) da chi rang, phan Idn ldi khen duge thye bien giira nhung ngirdi phat ngdn cung tudi va cung dia vi Neu cdc ldi khen xay cac cuge giao tiep giiia nhting ngudi khdng cung dia vi thi phdn Idn lai xuat phat tir nhting ngudi cd dia vi cao ban Dieu cd ve nhu trai nguae vdi cae quan niem phd bien la nhting ngudi d dia vi thap se phai su dyng nhilu ldi khen hon ddi vdi nhiing ngudi cd dia vj cao Tuong ty nhu vay, d New Zealand, cac Idi khen duac thye hien bdi nhirng ngudi be tren xay vdi tan suat eao ban so vdi nhirng ngudi be dudi Trong dd, nhung ldi khen lien quan den cdng viec, nang luc hoac sy cdng thi ed sd lugng nhieu gap hai lan so vdi cac chu de khdc nhu ve be ngoai hoac vat sd hiiu Cac ldi khen cua nhirng ngudi cd dia vi thap thudng ebl xay nhirng ngudi tham gia giao tiep cd mdi quan he kha gan giii va ngudi dua ldi khen Idn tudi ban Cd le, nhung ldi khen danh cho ddi tugng cd dia vi eao hon dudng nhu cting ddi hdi sy ty tin tir phia ngudi thuc hien hanh vi Tuy nhien, eho den nay, eiing chua cd nghien cuu nao khao sat mdi tuong tac giira gidi va dia vi Mac du md hinh tdng quat la, phu nir thue hien nhieu ldi khen ban vdi nam gidi nhimg nam gidi tham ehi edn ed khd nang thirc hien nhieu ldi khen vdi phu ntr d dia vi cao ban Dudng nhu nhting ngudi phu nir cd dia vi eao hon de ITnh hdi cac hanh vi khen ban so vdi nam gidi cung d dia vi Bdi vi, xa bgi ndi chung, phu nir duge xem la ddi tugng le thugc, it quyen lye vd it anh hudng ban nam gidi Dieu lai lien quan den van de "ki thi gidi ngdn ngdn ngtr"- mot ngi dung quan trgng eua mdi quan he giua ngdn ngtr va gidi ngdn ngir hoc xa hdi SO 1+2(183+184)-2011 N I U coi chu dl la tieu diem eua ldi khen thi cau hdi dat la nam va nir thudng khen vl vdn dl gi? Cau tra ldi la, vdi each hieu ldi khen la nhting danh gia tich eye ciia ngudi ndi, ehu dl cd the khen, ve mat li thuyet, la mot pham vi vd ban Tuy nhien, thye te, phan Idn cac ldi khen chi tap trung vao mot sd chu de quen thugc nhu: ve be ngoai, kha nang, cdng viec, vat sd htin hay mot vai khia canh ve nhan each Theo Wolfson (1983), a My, cac ldi khen thudng tap trung vao hai chu de chinh la ve be ngoai va kha nang (nang lye) cua eon ngudi Chang ban: - Cac ldi khen ve ve be ngoai cd the xuat hien d mgi mdi quan he thdn - sa, tham chi, phd bien lan gap dau tien Hon nira, tam gac lai tinh chat cham biem thi Idi khen ve ve be ngodi cua dd dugc coi la phat ngdn lich su tich cue, de dugc chap nhan hon Trong ve be ngoai ay, trang phuc va kieu tdc luon Id ehu de ndi trdi cua cac ldi khen - Cdc ldi khen ve kT nang thudng tap trung vao sy hoan tdt cdng viec hoac cae kT nang khae nhu viec nau mot bira an ngon ehang ban Hai ehu de khen ciing dugc phd bien d New Zealand: ldi khen ve ve be ngoai chiem 45%); ldi khen ve kha ndng chiem 27,5 %; ldi khen ve vat sd hiiu (tai san) chiem 10,5 % ; ldi khen lien quan den tinh each chiem 13,5 % Mot diem ddng chu y la, d My va New Zealand, nii gidi nhan dugc nhieu ldi khen ve ve be ngoai Dan dng New Zealand cung nhan duge nhirng ldi khen ve ve be ngoai (khoang 40 %)), nhung phan Idn eac ldi khen la tir nir gidi Ket qua nghien cuu dugc tiln hanh tai khudn vien eua mot trudng dai hgc cua MT eho thay, nam gidi khen vl ngoai hinh eiia nir gidi nhilu gdp hai Idn so vdi nir gidi khen ngoai hinh eua nam gidi (52%o so vdi 26%) Phu ntr thudng kha so 1+2(183+184)-2011 NGON NGJJ & l SONG than trgng viec dua ldi khen cd lien quan den be ngoai, ve dep hinh the cua dan dng bdi dd duge coi la van de kha nhay cam Cd the ndi, dan dng khdng de y tham chi khdng thich nhan dugc ldi khen ve ngoai hinh thi ntr gidi lai dac biet coi trgng cae ldi khen ve ve be ngoai cua minh Ket qua khao sat eua Wolfson cho thay, thdi quen giao tiep cua ngudi MT, nam gidi hiem dua hoac nhan dugc nhung ldi khen ve ngoai hinh tu nhung nam gidi khae va cung hiem nhan dugc nhiing ldi khen tir phu nii nen nhin chung, day khdng phai la mot ehu de thu vi ddi vdi ca nam va nii Tae gia cung luu y them rdng, nhirng ldi khen nhu vay thudng cd d cac nam gidi cdn tre tudi (ban la nir gidi cung tudi nay) va ddi vdi nam gidi cd dia vi cao hon hoac dang thye hien mot sd cdng viee mang tinh dac thu thi dirdng nhu cd phdn khat khe ban Nhu vay, gidi quan he vdi tudi, dia vi la bien xa hdi quan trgng viec lya chgn chu de khen Nam va nii khen nhu the nao cung la mot ngi dung cua mdi quan he giiia hanh vi khen va gidi Kit qua nghien cuu ddi vdi hanh vi khen cho thay cd sy lap di lap lai dang ngac nhien cua ca ehu de khen ciing nhu cac tir ngir chuyen dung de mieu ta cac ehu de nay, den mire chung trd thdnh cac md thuc Dudi day la mot sd md hinh khen ma Manes va Wolfson da tdng ket duge qua tu lieu khao sat d MT va New Zealand: 1/ NP + be/look + (Intensifier)+ adj Vi du: You look really lovely (Trdng em that ddng yeu!) li (Intensifier) + like/love + NP Vi du: / simply love that skirl (Dan gidn vi minh thich chiic scrmi dy) 3/ Pro + be + (Intensifier) + (a) + Adj + NP/ Pro + be + a + (Intensifier) + Adj + NP Vi du: Thai's a really nice coat 45 (Dd Id mdt chiic khoac that tuyet) Vi hanh vi khen the hien nhting danh gia mang tinh chat tich eye, cho nen mdi hanh vi khen phai bao gdm it nhat mot yeu td ngdn tu mang tinh chat tich eye ve nghTa Dieu the hien d tan sd xudt hien eao (lap di lap lai) cua mdt sd tinh tir va ddng tir Chang ban, ket qua nghien cim cua Wolfson cho thay 80%) cac ldi khen phy thugc chu yeu vao cac tinh tir mang nghTa tich eye, vi dy: O MT, tdng sd cae tinh tir mang nghTa tich eye dugc su dyng vdi tan sd rat cao thi cd tdi 2/3 sd ldi khen chi su dung nam tinh tir la: nice, good, beautiful, pretty va great Trong dd, hai tinh tir ndi bat nhat dugc su dyng la nice (22,9%) va goorf (19,6 %) CJ New Zealand, nam tinh tir dugc dung phd bien nhat la: nice, good, beautiful, lovely, wonderful Phan Idn cac ldi khen khdng su dung tinh tir thi lai phy thugc ehu yeu vao cac dgng tir mang ngii nghTa tich eye Vi du: like, love, admire, be impressed by, do, like, love chilm din 86%) (d MT) va 80%) (d New Zealand) Sy tuong ddng ve su dyng ngdn tir hanh vi khen d MT va New Zealand da cung ed them cho quan diem cua Wolfson la cae md thiie ldi ndi hanh vi khen mang tinh phd quat cho cac cgng ddng ndi tieng Anh Nhd dd hanh vi khen cd the se dugc nhan dien chinh xac, the hien dugc thien chi eua ngudi khen, ban che tdi da khd nang hieu nham cua ngudi tiep nhan (ldi khen) Mot dac diem dang chu y nira la, cd su khae biet rd ret ve gidi viec lya chgn va su dung cdu true khen So sanh: - Ntr gidi thudng su dung md hinh cau true tu tir: What (a) ADJ NP! Vi du: What lovely children! (Bgn Ire that ddng yen Idm sao!) - Nam gidi thudng su dung md hinh thu ggn: 46 NGON NGOr&Odl SONG ADJ NP! Vi du: Nice shoes! (Ddi ddy dep nhi!) Md hinh khen eua nii gidi ed ve lam tdng them sy anh hudng cua hanh vi ngdn ngii nhd trat ty tir va ngii dieu cam than, md hinh khen cua nam gidi duac thu ggn tdi mue tdi da, nhu mdt cdch thuc ban che anh hudng cua hanh vi khen Mdt sd nghien cim khae cung cd nhiing ket luan ddng hudng rdng, hanh vi khen d phu ntr ed xu hudng duge the hien vdi dang thiic manh me hon ve mat ngdn ngii so vdi nam gidi Khi phan tich ban 1000 ldi khen eua ngudi MT, Herbert da nhan thay, nir gidi thich su dung dang thue "/ love X' {Em yeu X) nghe cd ve manh hon so vdi "/ like X' (Em thich/ yeu X) va hg su dyng thudng xuyen vdi cdc nam gidi Ddng thdi, phu ntr Cling "khuyech dai" ldi khen bang cae tu nhu really, very, specially {that su, rdt, dac biet) nhieu ban ddi vdi ngudi cung gidi Xet mot each tdng quat, phu nii su dung nhieu dang thuc ldi khen mang tinh chat ea nhan ban nam gidi Trong tu lieu thu thap dugc eua Herbert, khoang 60% ldi khen eua nam gidi cd cdu tnic ngdn tir theo kieu "bang quo, phi ea nhan" Trong dd, ehi 1/5 sd ldi khen cua nii gidi d dang thuc Li la vi, nir gidi thudng tap trung vao tieu diem ea nhan va sir dung nhieu chien luge giao tiep lien quan den ea nhan hon, dae biet la ddi vdi nhting phu ntr khae Vi vay, nii gidi cung thich md hinh "/ (really) like/ love NP " ban so vdi PRO is (really) (a) adj NP Trong dd, nam gidi thi it su dyng hai md hinh Herbert da dua nhung nhan xet nhu sau ve hanh vi khen xet tir gde gidi: 1/trong ldi khen eua nii gidi thudng di kem hdnh vi rao ddn; 2/ nam gidi thudng khen ngdi thu ba nhieu ban (ngudi khdng trye tiep cuge thoai); 3/ Nii dua ldi khen nhieu hon nam va khdng quan tam den gidi tinh cua ngudi nghe; 4/ Nam it dua ldi khen ban ntr nhat la khen ddi tugng cung gidi (nam gidi) s o 1+2(183+184)-2011 Ngudi cd cdng dua nhan xet ve viee su dung ngdn ngtr eua mdi gidi, dd cd ldi khen la R Lakoff Theo Lakoff, ldi khen cua nir gidi thudng cd cae tinh tir nhu: adorable, charming, lovely, divine {that ddng nguomg mg, quyen rit, ddng yeu, sieu phdm, ), edn ldi khen cua nam gidi lai thudng la eac tinh tir trung tinh nhu: good, great {tuyet tuyet vdi tdt ) Tai Trung Qudc, khao sat thye te ve ldi khen tieng Han hien dai tai Cdn Minh, cae tac gia cho thay nam gidi thudng su dung ldi khen "cd an y", edn ldi khen eua nii gidi thudng kem theo phan giai thich eho nhimg ldi khen cua hg Mdt nghien cim khae d Trung Qudc cung eho thay ket qua tuong tu: 80.5 % cae hanh vi khen tudng minh duac ntr gidi chgn lya de thuc hien vdi nhung ngudi cung gidi khae, dd sd lieu thu dugc d nam gidi la 57,2 %; 9% hanh vi khen "co an y" duge nam gidi dua vdi ddi tugng cung gidi va ehi ed 2,3%) cac hanh vi khen "cd an y" duge dua giiia ntr gidi Nam gidi cung chgn each khdng phdn img lai thay vi chap nhan hoae tir ehdi ldi khen (28%)), dd sd nir gidi chgn each ndy la 12.8% Rd rang, hanh vi khen va gidi cd sy tuong tae vdi Sy tuong tac the hien d mue dich khen, ehu de khen, each khen, viee giai thieh hanh vi khen cung nhu viec tiep nhan ldi khen, dugc the hien bang ngdn tu ldi khen Tach hanh vi khen va gidi khao sat khdng cd nghTa la tdeb chung khdi cae bien xa hdi - van boa nhu dia vi, nghi nghiep, tudi tae, nen van boa, ma chung la mdt tdng the boa quyen vao theo kilu nhan td la tien de cua nhdn td kia, nhan td hd trg nhung ddng thdi rang bugc, han che nhan td Trong nghien cuu sy tuong tac giira hanh vi khen va gidi khdng thi khdng quan tam den yeu td gidi gitra ngudi khen va ngudi tiep nhan ldi khen Tile ring, cho din nay, cae nghien eun dudng nhu mdi chi tap trung chu y nhieu hon va thudng Idy gidi tinh cua ngudi khen lam xudt phat so 1+2 (183+184)-2Q11 NGON NGLf & 0 SONG diem ma chua chu y nhieu den sy tae ddng trd lai cua giai tinh ngudi nhan den viec lira chgn ngdn ngtr eua ngudi khen Nhung van de dugc trinh bay bai viet cung la nhirng ngi dung chung tdi dang nghien ciru trudng hgp hanh vi khen va gidi tieng Viet Tii! lieu tham khao I Dd Hu'u Chau (2003), Dgi citvng ngdn ngir hoc tap 2, NXB Giao due ' Pham Thi Phuang Dung (2004) Cdc phuong lien ngdn ngir hieu thi tinh le phep giao tiep tieng Viet, luan an tien sT Ngir van, Vien Ngdn ngtr hgc Ha Ngi Pham Vu Dung (2002) Win hda iing xir cdc ddn tdc Viet Nam, Le Nlur lioa chu bien, NXB Van hda thdng tin Tran Kim Hfmg (2009), Khen che vd lich sir tap chi Khoa hgc Xa hdi, Vien Phat trien ben vu'ng vung Nam Bo sd 07( i 31 )-2009 Vu Thi Thanh Huong (2002) Khdi niem the dien vd y nghTa ddi vdi vice nghien ciru irng xir Ijch sir, Ngon ngi~r, so Nguyen Van Khang (1999), /Vt,'(;/7 ngir hgc xd hdi: Nhirng vdn de ca han, NXB Khoa hoc xa hoi Robert Lado (1957), Ngdn ngir hoc qua cdc nen van hda Hoang Van Van dich (2003), NXB Dai hoc QuIc gia"! Ha Ngi Nguyen Quang (2002), Giao tiip vd giao tiep giao vdn hda, NXB Dai hgc qudc gia, Ha Noi Nguyen Quang (2004), Mat w vdn de giao tiep ngi van hod vd giao vdn hod, NXB Dai hoc Qudc gia Ha Noi 10 Tran Ngoc Them (2004), Tini vi han siic vdn hda Viel Nciiii, NXB Tong hgp, TP.HCIVI II Le Quang Thiem (1998), Vdn hda vdn minh vd yen id vdn hod iniyen ihdng Hdn, NXB Van hoa Ha Noi 12, Nguyin Diic Idn (2008) Ddc Inrngvdn hda- ddn tdc cua ngdn ngu vd lu NXB Khoa hoc xa hoi 13 Brown ? And Levinson S 1987, Polilenes.s: Some univer.sal.s in language usage Cambridge: Cambridge Universiiy Press 47 14 Herbert, Robert K (1989), The ethnography of English coinpliinenl and compliment respon.se: A contrastive sketch In: Wieslaw Oleksy (ed.) Contrastive pragmatics Amsterdam: John Benjamins 3-35 15 iVIanes, J 1983, Complinienl.s: Mirror of cultural value In N Wolfson and L Judd (eds), Sociolinguistics and Language Acquisition Rowley, MA: Nevvsbury House Pp 96-102 16 Nelson, G L El al 1996, Arabic and English compliment responses: Potential for pragmatic failure Applied linguistics Vol 17 No 4, pp.4 II-432 17 Jucker, Andreas 11., Ceroid Scimeider, Irma Taavitsainen and Barb Breustedt (2008), Fishing for compliments: Precision and recall in corpus-linguistic compliment research In: Andreas H Jucker and Irma Taavitsainen (eds.) Speech Act History of Lngiish (Pragmatics & Beyond New Series xx) Amsterdam/Philadelphia: John Benjamins 18 Lakoff R (1975) Lnn