Nho giáo về gia đình và gia đình Việt Nam hiện nay.pdf

90 53 TAP CHl KhOA HOC so (25) 2012 NHO GIAO VE GIA BINH VA GIA BINH Vlf T NAM HIEN NAY uti J " 7hS Nguyin A nli Cu&ng' TOM TAT Tir ehd khdng duprc ua ihich cdc ldng l&j nhdn ddn Viil Nam Nho gido ddn ddn giu mdt vi tri ngdy cdng idng viic di cao uy quyin cua nhd vua xdy dung mpt hi thdng quan Uiu tir iren xudng du&i bdo ddm mdi quan hi chdt che giua Nhd nu&c vd nhdn ddn Nho gido duac du nhdp lit Trung Quoc vdo Viil Nam khdng cdn giir ngia'en trang thai nguyen so cua nd nira Nd dd dirac Viet Nam hda, Nho sT Viet Nam vi loi ich bao vi vd xdy dirng td quoc dd khai thdc nhirng quan diem ti'ch cue cua Nho gido de khdng dinh nhirng gid tri truyen ihdng ciia ddn tpc Nho gido rdt di cao coi irpng gia dmh, coi gia dinh tdn tai nhu mpi~bd phdn cua Ihuang ldng kiin true Mpi suyen dn cd nu&c diu bdt ngudn tir sir yen dn mdi gia dinh Nu&c thinh bdt ngudn tir mdi gia dmh Nho gido dgt eho mdi ngu&i (nam giai) tru&c-hif phdi tu thdn, te gia, rdi m&i tri quoc sau mdi din bmh thiin Bdo cdo gdm ba phdn: Nho gido vi gia dinh: anh hu&ng cm Nho gido v&i gia dinh Viet Nam truyin thdng; Nho gido v&i gia dinh Viet Nam hiin Tfr khda: Nho giao, gia dinh, gia dinh Viet Nam hidn nay, gia dinh Vift Nam truydn thdng ABSTRACT Beginning to be not favor in all classes of Vielnamese people Confucianism is gradually played an important role in empowering the authority of fhe king, building a bureaucratic syatem of administralion from central offices to local governmeni and ensure a close relation between die government and people Imported from China to Vietnam Confucianism in Vietnam has not to be original It has a lot of Vietnamese properties For benefit of building and defending the country, Vietnamese Confucian scholar made full use of advantage v/e-w of Confucianism to affirm positive tradition of Vietnamese people Confucianism especially concentrate on family, consider the existence of family as pari of superstructure Prosperous, peaceful country start from family The first, a man in Confucianism must to strive for self-improvement, the second to make oneselfmanage the family, fhe ihird is for country, and the fourth makes his country peaceful The report contains three parts: Confucianism about family, influence of the Confucianism on tradition Vielnamese family Confucianism on nowaday family Key words: Conllicianism family, nowaday Pamity, tradition Vielnamese family 'Khoa Li / u ^ chinh vi Thtdng Dai hpe Thi^' Ixn (175 Tdy San Ddng Da Hd Ndi) CHINH Tfii - VAN HOA - S I A O DUC - XA HOI OAT VAN DE Phai ciao Dao giao va Nho giao dugc du nhgp vdo Viel Nam tfr Idu \ a da cd \'ai trd dang kd hoal ddng lu ludng va vdn hda ciia nhdn dan Nhung irao Kai a\ da dugc cdi bidn cho phu hgp vdi iruyen thdng cua nhan ddn vd nhu cau cua ddt nudc dd trd chinh nen van hda va hd tu tudng thdng iri d Viet Nam Til chd khdng dugc ua thich Irong cac tdng Idp nhdn dan Viet Nam, Nho gido dan ddn giu mpt Vl tri cdng tang viec de cao u\ quydn cua nhd vua xdy dyng mgt he thdng quan lidu lu irdn xudng dudi, bao dam mdi quan he chgt chd gifra nha nude va nhdn dan Nho giao dugc du nhdp tfr Trung Qude vdo V\el Nam khdng cdn giii nguydn trang thdi nguydn so cua nd niia Nd da dugc Viel Nam hda Nho st Viet Nam vi lgi ich bao vd va xdy dyng td qude, dd khai thdc nhung quan diem lich cyc cua Nho giao dd khdng djnh nhiing gia iri truydn thdng cua dan lpc Nho giao rdt dd cao viec coi trgng gia dinh coi gia dinh tdn lai nhu mdt bg phdn cua thugng tang kidn tnic Moi su yen on ca nudc ddu bdi ngudn tu sy yen dn mdi gia dinh, Nudc thinh bdi ngudn tfr moi gia dinh Nho giao ddt cho mdi ngudi (nam gidi) irudc hdt phai lu than, te gia rdi nidi trj qude sau mdi den hinh ihien I CIA filNH TRONG NHO GIAO Hieu dl Nho giao: Nho giao cho rdng mudn vat gdc d trdi, ngudi goc d Id "van vgt ban hd thidn nhdn ban ho td - Ld ky" Cho nen cai phai y thuc day du ve tinh cam thuong ydu va bdn phdn ddi vdi cha me Dd Id sy biet an chfr cii lao "ai phy mau sinh ngd cii Iao" (9 chu cdng due lo ldn nhu nhimg cii lao: I Sinh Cdc; ndng niu, Phu: vuot ve au vdm Siic: nudi cho bu cho an Tudng: nudi trdng cho Idn Due: da> do, Cd: sdn sdc Irdng noin Phye: udn ndn tinh ndi, Phuc: che chd) Ldm cho cha me dugc tdn trgng la bac hieu cao nhdt, khdng ldm nhue den eha me ta bdc hidu thu hai, nudi dugc cha me la bdc hieu thu ba "hidu hiiu tam, dai hidu tdn ihan ky' thu phdi nhue, ky nang dudng - l i ky'" Nhung thd chira du ma cdn phai "kim chi hieu gia, thi vu nang dudng Chi u khuydn ma gidc nang hfru dudng bat chinh bd dt bidi hd - Lugn ngfr - Vi chinh - 7" (nudi dugc cha me didu ay la tdt rdi, nhung phai bdng tam tdng kinh frgng thuang ydu chii dimg nhu ddi he thdy nudi dugc cha me thi da khen la cd hieu vi chd ngua thi ngudi la ciing nudi dugc) Nudi cha me ma chang kinh ihi cd khac gi nudi siic vdt - nhu thd hidu thyc sy phdi xual phat tu day Idng cdi phai bao ham dugc ca vd ca cha me dugc bao hieu va cai ihyc hidn hidu ddu sung sudng Cho dii "'xuyet thuc, dm ihiiy tan ky hoan tu chi vj hieu - Ld ky" (phai dn gao xdu, udng-nudc ta ciing thda long \'ui theo chu hieu) Hidu khdng ham me tuu sac lam cho cha me phdi tui ho, khdng ldm vide bao Ign khien cha me phai nguy khdn, khdng ty nhidn ma bd nha di xa khidn cha me phai Io lang Hidu lam nhu vua Thuan 50 nam sau ma van quydn luydn md cha me nhu cha me mdi mdt "Dai hidu chung than phu mdu, ngii thap chi mg gia u Dgi Thuan kien chi ky - Mgnh Tu - Van chuang thugng 1" Hidu cdn phai quyet chi lap thdn hanh dao, neu cao danh den ddi sau vinh hidn cha me "lap than hanh dao chuong danh u hdu Uid, ^ hidu phu mau - Hieu kinh" Cd phan cyc doan hon nfra, Nho giao cdn dd hidu khdng gi bang dem ed thien phung dudng cha me Tuc la phai chidm lay ngdi vua bien ddng hg thdnh Hoang tgc dem ca thidn ldn dang cha me "hidu tu chi chi mac dai u Idn than idn than chi chi mgc dai dt Uiien dudng - Mgnh Tu ly lau 4" Gdn lidn vdi chfr hidu, gia dinh Nho giao cdn de cao chfr dd Id kinh trgng anh chi be udn Nho giao neu ra: cd diic hidu dd thi se cd dugc cdi khac Hieu dd la cdi TAP CHf KHOA HOC SO (25) 2012 gdc ma ngudi quan lu phai ndm la\ cai gdc dugc vfrng tdt thi dgo ly tu dd md sinh "Quan lu vu ban, bdn lap nhi dao sinh I lidu de gid ky vi nhdn chi ban dfr Luan ngfr - hoc nhi 2" Nho gido cho rang cao dep rgng Idn nhu cdi dao ciia Nghieu Thuan ciing chi cd hidu de ma thdi "Nghieu Thudn chi dao hieu dd nhi dt k\ - Manh Tu - Cdo lu - 2" Tai Nho gido lai de cao chfr hieu de ddn nhu vay? Vi tu tudng co ban cua Nho giao Id tdn quan Id de cao che phong kidn quan lidu lap quydn, Ciing cd gia dinh ndu cao chfr hidu de dd cao quydn hu>nh the phu, bao ddm tuyet ddi cho chd truydn tu, ngoi vuafruyencho trudng, tranh hdu loan Vi the trung vdi vua, hidu vdi cha me Id cung mdi gdc "trung chi quan hidu chi phu mau du chi ban - Le k\ ' Hoac hidu la de phyng su nha vua day, dd Id dd phyng sy bd trdn dd\ lu la dd sai khidn dan chiing ddy "hieu gia sd dt sy quan da de gia sd dt sy irudng dd tfr gia sd dt su chung da - Dgi hgc 9'" Hode da la ngudi co hieu dd, ma tai thich pham thugng id didu il cd Da khdng thich phgm thugng ma iai ihich Iam loan Ihi chua cd bao gid "ky vi nhdn dd hieu dd nhi hao phgm Ihugng gia lidu ky Bat hao pham thugng nhi hda tac loan gia vi chu hiiu gia - Ludn ngfr - hgc nhi 2" Nhu thd Nho giao gdn lidn chu hieu vdi chfr trung ddng nghta tdng yeu thuang cha me vdi Idng ydu thuang nhd vua Coi nhd vua nhu phu huynh cua nidi cgng ddng ldng lpc bao ve nha vua nhu bao ve ddng mdu cua chinh minh Dc dan ddn tdi trung khdng thd hai vua "irung thdn bat sy nhi qudn" Nho gido thdm hiem a ch6 huy dgng ihdn dan ca nudc bao vd ngai vdng nha vua bdng linh cam long idc, dd dan de dang chap nhan dudi gam trdi khdng cho ndo khdng phdi Id ddt ciia vua "phd thidn chi hg mac phi vuong thd" dd ihue ma \'ua dgt nhu the ndo dan cu theo the md Uieo md ddng Thgm chi cdn kinh irgng cai phep ma vua dgt la vua cd quydn phong sac cho ihdn ldng Dinh ldng nao d nai cuu vong trang frgng nhal cung de chfr "ihanh cung vgn lue" 'ihdnh thg vd cuang", de Id Idng trung vdi vua Han the niia Nho giao day trung quan nhu ldn kinh than cua lang minh Nho giao dd cao chfr hidu, cai hay la Ihuc su dgy ngudi ihuang yeu, kinh trgng cha me dd sinh thdnh nudi dudng, ga> dyng ndn ca nghidp cho cai Cdn cdi dd id dong nghta linh ydu thuang cha me vdi }eu ihuong ngai vang nhd vua nudc cua vua Chap nhan su ludc doat cua nhd \ua nhu phung duang cha me minh Nho giao gan chat moPquan he gifra gia dinh va xa hgi: Nho giao cd chu dich rd rdng irong vide xdy dyng nhiing quan he chat che gia dinh vd phdi iridn chiing nhung quan he loan \a hgi vide xdy dyng nhfrng tinh cam vd due Unh ldt gia dinh tu dd vun dap chiing trd nhung linh cam vd dfrc lot irong dao thd vua, Iri nudc, Nho giao vi thd rdi coi irgng \idc giao due gia dinh Dd la trudng hoc dau lien de gido due ngudi vao-\a hdi than >eu cha me minh, kd dd ma cu xu cd nhdn vdi ngudi ddi "than nhdn nhi nhdn ddn - Manh Tu - Tdn tdm- ihugng 45" Kinh cha anh cua minh tir dd kinh cha anh cua ngudi Yeu tre ciia minh ifr ydu tre cua ngudi "Iao ngd tao dt cap nhan chi lao au ngd du dt cap nhdn chi au - Mgnh Tu - I uong Hud Vuang - ihugng 7" Ciing vi vay, mudn danh gid dugc phdm chat cua mpi ngudi d ngodi xa hdi mudn xem cd ndn can nhac \a su dung hg khdng trudc ticn ngudi ta phdi xem lu each, thai dg cua ngudi ay gia dinh Cd ddi xfr tdt gia dinh, mdi cd ihd doi xii lot ngoai xa hdi Bdc quan tfr cd an d hgp 1>' d nha mdi cd the dgy ngudi nudc "nghi ky gia nhan, nhi hdu khd dt giao qude nhdn - Dgi hgc - 9'\ CHfNH m - VAN H A - GIAO DUC - XA Hdi Tfr dd, Nho gido khdng djnh rang sy giao due tu uong gia dinh cd lac ddng manh md, thgm chi quydt dinh sy dianh cdng uong vide tri nudc Dem nhiing didu ay ma thi thd frong thidn Ihi khdng cd dieu gi md khdng lam dugc "thd chu thidn vd sd bat hanh - Le k>'" Lai cd the didu hanh mgi viec ciia thidn hg nhu ndm frong ban tay "thien kha van u chudng - Manh Tu - Luang Hue Vucmg - thugng 7" Thdm chi chi can mgi ngudi deu ydu Ihuang cha me, ba minh, kinh frgng bac trudng thugng ciia minh ty nhidn Ihien hg se dugc thai binh "nhdn nhdn Ihdn ky than, trudng ky Irudng nhi thidn hg binh - Manh Tfr - Ly tau - Ihugng 11" Nbo giao hinh gia dinh voi phu quyen gia tnrdng va trgng nam khinh nfr: Nho gido nguyen thiiy Id dd cao gia dinh phu quye'n "quyen huynh the phy" dd Cling cd chd phong kidn truydn tli Den Hdn Nho, xudt phat Ifr vdn hda du muc frpng nam khinh nfr lai cdng ciing cd gia dinh phy quydn gia trudng Cho nen dja vj ngudi phu nu gia dinh Nho giao chi la tam tmig d nha theo cha, Idy chdng theo chdng, chdng chdt theo Nho giao dgy ngudi phy nfr vd nhd chdng phdi kinh nhudng gifr minh cho kheo dimg trai y chdng "vang nhi nhu gia, tdi kinh Idt gidi vd vj phu Ifr - Manh Tfr - Ddng Vdn Cdng - hg 22" Cdn chuan mye Tfr due cdng dung ngdn hgnh md ngudi phu nQcan phdi vuon Idi chi la mdn dd trang sue uong mdi gia dinh Nho giao phy quydn, dd rdi tu dfrc Iai truyen cho gai tiep ndi vdng ddi tam tdng ni due khdc Ngudi ddn dng thi co thd nam the tray diiep cdn ngudi phu nfr thi khdng dugc ldy hai chwig "lift nfr bat gid nhj phu" Kd ca nhung bd gda cd don ngheo ddi ciing khdng ndn di budc nfra Ddi chdi chi la viec nhd that tidt mdi la vifc cue Idn "nhidn ngac tii sy cyc tieu, that tiet sy cyc dai" Tmh cam vg chdng la co sd ca ban nhal de xay dung gia dinh hanh phiic thi 53 Nho giao lai cho la thfrydu Vo chdt thi co the lay vg khdc, nhumg cha m? anh em mdt di thi khdng thd ldy lai ducrc NIio gido ddt chfr hidu dd frdn chfr tinh (vg chdng) thuc chat Id coi nhe ydu Id eg ban xay dung gia dinh hanh phiic Gia dinh Nho gido neu cha cha chdng chdng vg vg nhung thyc chat tam cucmg "qudn vi than cuang phu vi tfr cuang phu vi the cuang" cung van chi luyft ddi gia dinh Ihugc vd ngudi dan dng, bdi vi dng vua trudc het cung Id ngudi chdng gia dinh Ngudi ddn dng gia uudng chi cd sii (sai khidn), chfr khdng cd sy (chap hdnh), sy la thupe ve vg con, be dudi Trong gia dinh Nho gido ngudi phu nu chi nhu Id cdi bong nep vdo ngudi dan dng: ngudi cha chdng, Thgm chi cdn bi Nho giao xep vao hgng ngudi kho day bao phy nfr la hang ngudi khd dgy bao gido hda "phy nhdn nan hda Luan ngfr - Duang hda - 5" Phu nfr chdng nhtmg vifc dinh dam khdng dugc ben mdng ldi, rugng ddt cdng khdng cd xuat chia md den an udng cung chju chdp nhdn thdi quen chi quanh qudn xd bdp "vi chang thiep phdi an mam neu nhu minh ihidp qua lan cung xong" Trong gia dinh, xa hgi phong kidn Nho gido, phu nfr la ngudi ciing khd nhdt Khd vi mat quydn ydu, kho vi khdng cd quyen thua kd tdi sdn, khd vi dia vj thdp kem gia dinh ngoai xa hdi, khd vi phdi hgc dd sai khidn chu khdng phai de cho bidt Nho giao xay d u n g chii nghTa gia dinh Tu quan diem huyet thdng, Nho giao ddi hdi sy gdn bd chat che gifra nhfrng thdnh vidn frong cung mdi gia dinh mdt ddng hp, Nho gido kdu gpi hp ydu ihucmg diim bgc ldn nhau, khuydn khich giu gin danh dy va phdt huy truyen Ihdng cua gia dinh, ciia ddng hg Nhfrng nghi thfrc ling xu hang ngdy, nhiing Idi ran dgy cua cha dng vdi nhiing gia hudn, gia ngfr dugc luu truydn ddn cac ddi chdu Vifc thd TAP CHl KHOA HOC S (25) 2012 Cling dng hd cha me uong nhd gdn lien vdi vide thd cung ld lidn hp, vide xdy dyng nha thd, sua sang md ma, suu tdm ghi chdp gia phd ddu gdp phan ldm khang khit them cac mdi quan he uong gia dinh gia ipc Nhung nhiing quan he trdn bi chi phdi bdi quan diera Idch Igc vd huyet thdng bdi Idng tham lam ich ky va nhdt la bdi su tranh gidnh vd lgi ich kinh te, vd dia vi chinh fri xa hdi vd vai ve lang xa ihi khdng il nhidu tieu cyc da xdy vd gay tac hai Dd Id sy thidn vj tinh ydu thuang: ngudi nhdn phdi yeu thuong tdt ca nhung trudc het la phdi yeu thuang ke thdn tgc \a ngudi tai due **nhan gia vd bat di da cap than hidn chi vu - Mgnh Tfr - Tan lam - thugng 46" Hode bdc qudn tu khdng ndn bd rai ngudi than thich "quan tu bdt ihi k\ than - Ludn ngfr - Vi tii 10" vd Ihyc id hon nfra: ddi \di ke thdn tpc minh, cuddi Idn nhfrng tude v\ cao gia tdng bdng Igc cho hg, ddng hg ydu ghet thi minh ciing yeu ghet theo "tdn ky vj trgng ky lpc dong ky hidu d - Trung dung 20" Sy ydu thuong diim bgc Irong gia dinh bidn dgng tinh vj ky gia dinh bao che vun ven bdnh vyc idn bdt chap cd cdng ly, Mdt ngudi thdy cha an trgm dd, da diing Idm chiing khai that, Khdng Tu cho day la khdng thang ma ngugc lai: cha che Idi cho con che loi cho cha, tinh thdng id d dd "phu vj tfr an tu vi phy an, uyc tai trung hy - L u ^ ngfr - Tii Ld 8" Ngay vua Thudn vj thdn tugng cua dgo Khdng da phong cho em minh mdt dua hu hdng, dugc di cai tri mdt dja phuang Cd ngudi thdc mac hdi Manh Tu thi dugc gidi thich rdng: hd thuong yeu em ihi mudn cho em dugc sang trgng gidu cd Vua Thudn phong ddt cho em la mudn cho em duac sang irgng giau cd va\ Minh lam thidn lu ma em td ke thdt phu, thi cd ihd ggi minh la thuong yeu em chang? "Than \ i thidn lu As vi that phu, kha vi di di chi hd - Mgnh Tu - Vgn Chuang - thugng 2" Chii nghta gia dinh cdn bfnh ben re an sdu irong xd hpi cii, tao xich mich gifra cac gia dinh vd cac ddng hg, dan den sy ganh dua dd ky thdm chi thii ghet va tidu diet tan Gia dinh ndo ddng hg nao cung mudn tranh gianh quydn lyc lim each gay the keo be canh dd trd nhiing "cu than"' (gia tdc ldn) raa theo Manh Tfr phdn lich thi: trj nudc chdng khd, col dimg de cho nhfrng cy that che (rach minh "Vi chinh hdt nan: bdt dac tgi u cu that - Mgnh Tfr - Ly tdu - ihugng 6" AN H HUONG CUA NHO GIAO VOI GIA DINH VIET NAM TRUVfeN THONG Nho gido vao Viet Nam tfr ngodi vao, tu tren xudng Cdc trieu dgi phong kien trudc ddy da dua dao due Nho giao tu Trung Quoc vao xd hdi Vidl Nam thdi Ly - Trdn (thd ky Xi - XIV) Nho gido cd dnh hudng ddn Viel Nam thdi Ly - Trdn khdng sdu sac bang cdc the ky sau Tfr the ky XV cho den nua ddu ihe k\' XX cac nhd nudc phong kien tu Le ddn Nguyen ddu ldy Nho giao ldm cdng cu lu tudng chi phdi xa hdi Trong cdng cudc cai trj dat nudc cac tridu ddu ddc bift chii trpng ddn vdn de gia dinh, ddu coi gia dinh la ca sd quan trgng bac nhdi 6e lao lap k> cucmg vd dn djnh xa hgi Td gia va trj quoc la hai cdng \ iec gan hen nhau: gdc cua thidn hg iai nudc, gdc ciia nudc Id tgi gia dinh "thidn hg chi ban tai qude, qude chi bdn tai gia - Manh Tu" Cdc nha nudc tu Ld ddn Nguydn deu dd cao quan nidm hieu Iam mpi nguydn tac iri nudc Hidu vdn la tinh thdn Id ndi dung cua dgo due gia dinh fruydn thong Viet Nam hinh tfr rat xa xua irong phong ujc vd tin ngudng nhu "thd cung td lien" "Ugng lao" nhung \c sau ig^i dugc giao l> Nho giao khang dinh ihem sau sdc chi CHfNH TRj - VAN H A - GIAO DUG - XA HQI tidt vd the che hda tudn l>' xa hdi Cac nha nudc thdi Le ddn Nguydn ddu lay hidu de cimg cd gia dinh lay hidu lam chuan muc cho nhung gid tri xa hgi, iam lieu chudn 6e ren luyfn nhdn each, ldy hidu de rang budc ngudi vdi ngudi, be dudi vdi be trdn va ddc biet dugc phap ludt hda, chinh sdch hda Cdng vide ciia dao hidu trudc hdt thd hifn d viec chdu phai nudi dudng cha me dng bd Ddy la ydu cau toi thidu cua mdi thdnh vidn gia dinh Luc ngudi gid dau ydu phai cd thuoc men ddy dii, gdp tang Id phdi thyc hidn that chu ddo, trpn ven Ddi vdi quan lai can thidt phai bd chuc vj trd ve que nhd cham sdc dng ba cha me Hidu Id nhdn cdch ngudi la g6c ciia nhdn Iudn, la mpt gia trj xa hpi cao quy Dao hidu la ciia ddt frdi lau ddi nhu frdi ddi Id bdc thang gia tri frpng ydu nhdt cudc ddi Kc bit hidu dugc xem Id xau xa nhal, cd tgi danh frong phap ludt Dgo hieu Id quan he dung dpe frong gia dinh va frong ddng hg, Gia dinh ngudi Viet Nam tfr xua Idi vdi vai ba thd hf da tao nen mgi cdng ddng rieng bift Trong cdng ddng gia dinh, phd bidn la gia dinh nbd, quan he mat bang ngang Id anh chi - em cdn quan he Iheo chidu diing doc Id cha me - cdi, ngudi gia ldp Ire, trudng - thfr Quan hf bdng ngang dugc ung xu theo nguyen ldc thu de Id nghTa; quan hf dgc phai ung xfr theo nguyen tdc hieu kinh, cd hai ddu gdn chat vdi nhau, khdng mdu thudn md bd sung cho nhau, tao ndn mdt ndn luan Iy hoan chinh Cdc quan hf anh chj em ddu dugc ihudng xuydn quan tam, dugc d^c biet luu y, nhung cd phan nang han Ihi van Id cac quan hf cai vdi cha me tre vdi gia, thii vdi frudng Quan he vg chdng gia dinh Nho gido truyen thdng nhdt la cdc gia dinh quan lgi ihugng luu theo truydn thdng dgc Cdi ggi la "'tam tdng" dd dgl ngudi phy nu vao dia vj didp nhat gia dinh Dao hidu cd y nghta quan trgng nhat, bgc cao nhat frong cac nguydn idc iing xfr gia dinh Da la ngudi \^ei thi lu xa xua cho tdi hidn ddu cd tuc thd ciing to tidn Nhung Nho giao da lam cho nd sdu dgm han nhu mgt dao Tuc If rai ddu frong cd ndm nhu Ihudng xuydn nhac nhd mgi ngudi Trong gia finh thi ban Ihd to tidn dugc ddt d gian giiia; frong ddng hg Ihi cd nhd Ihd rieng bidt; hogc ndu hp nhd it ngudi ihi nha thd kha to, cdn ddi thii tu chdm nom Td tidn dugc "thdn hda" Id mdt frong nhthlg tin ngudng thieng lieng nhdi cua ngudi Vidt iheo tinh thdn Nho gido Ngdy Cling gid td tidn thuc sy Id ngdy lc (ngdy hgi) ciia gia dinh va hg hang gan xa Nghi thfrc Id bdi cang tang thdm tinh thdn long Igc, that chdt them mdi day huydt thong vfra cd y nghta ludng nifm ngudi xua, vua cd y nghra giao due dao hieu Trong gia dinh \^el Nam ngudi gai vd nhd chdng, dau chi cd trach nhidm vdi chong md cdn phdi "lam ddu" cd frach nhidm vdi nha chdng Thdm chi chuc ndng "lam dau" ddu chi hgn hep pham vi gia dinh nhd chdng md thuc te cdn md rdng cd ddng hg hon nfra ca xdm lang nha chong Nhdm gan chdt mdi quan he gifra gia dinh vd ddng hg ngudi Viet cdn cd tuc vidl gia phd Gia phd khdng phai Id sdng tgo cua Nho gido, nhung Id dam them Khdng phdi lat ca cdc ddng hg ngudi Viet ddu cd gia phd hogc cd y thuc ve gia phd, nhung hifn tugng vidt gia phd la phd bien may thd ky cho ddn ngdy vd midn Bac thi nhieu han mien Nam Ciing vdi gia pha, nhidu hg cdn lap tpc udc tdc Id, gia le va cdn cd gia hudn Cdc gia hudn ddu cd mgt didm chung la khing djnh dgo hidu xdc dinh nghta vy cua timg ngudi theo trgt tu Ihu bdc cha mc TAP CHI KHOA HOC SO (25) 2012 vg chong cai, anh em frong gia dinh Cdc gia hudn khdng dua nhidu kieu Ihuc mdi cho gia dinh ma phdn nhieu nhac tai sy lich td tidn, each ren luyen nhdn each lam diing dieu nhan nghta, gifr diing Id nhd, khdng dinh gia phong hidu thao cho chau gin gifr (5 Vidl Nam tfr xua tdi vg chdng dn d vdi thudng thudng vdn cdu mong cd sdm Ngudi vg ciing nhu ngudi chdng lay la mong mudn sdm chuydn sang ldm cha, lam me Thdi gian "son rdi" keo dai, hudng thu cd nhan khdng phai la didu hanh phuc va cilng khdng cd y niem cac cap vg chong Gia dinh truyen thdng Vift Nam quan he vg chdng la "thugn tdng": sudt cugc ddi ldm vg, ldm me phai chdm lo phdi hi sinh cho chdng "an ndn Iam ra" cd nhidu ihanh dgt, thdm chi can hy sinh cd thdi gian son Ird (nudi day cdi nudi bd me chdng tgi que nha) de chdng di tam vide xa, va ddc bidt phai giu long "trinh friuan" Quan niem "thudn tdng" khdng phdi la phu thude Ngudi vg gia dinh Viet Nam nhin chung cd vi fri cao hon gia dinh d Trung Quoc vd Nhat Bdn Dd la quan hf tuong ddi binh dang "thugn vg thudn chdng, ldt be Ddng ciing can", hdi hda tdt dep "chong cdy vg cdy, frau di bira" cam ca niian phdi phu ihudc vao Con ngudi vua mdi sinh da phdi Id ngudi CO hidu va thudn hda, rdi lay vg, lay chdng nhanh chdng chuyen sang ta cha me tdt cd cudc ddi ddu hien than cho gia dinh, lay cdng vide xdy dyng gia dinh (ddng gidu cd danh tidng, thuang yeu nhau) ldm hgnh phuc cho chinh ban than minh Hgnh phuc vd danh du ca nhan dugc gdn chat vdi hanh phiic vd daiUi dy gia dinh Thang bac trdt ty gia dinli gia tdc dugc phan bift phdn chia frong mgi nai mgi Iiic Mdi ngudi gia dinh Iruyen thdng phai Iy y thiic ro rang vd vj tri ddu mgt phdn phu Ihugc vao vi tri ciia than phdn minh gia dinh (md rdng la xa hdi) ihdm tri ca hudng thy vdt chdi, tdi sdn ke cd chd ngdi nha frong hg dinh lang ciing theo bgc ihang than phdn, Sy ket hgp gia dinh hg hang vdi lang xa vdi nha nudc tao mdt net dac thii, tgo mdt ca chd xa hpi, lay huydt thdng ldm mdt ca sd Ddy Id anh hudng cua Nho giao, d midn Bdc manh hon mien Nam Ngudi Vift thudng ndi hieu la mdi dgo, dao hidu Hieu khdng dung d dgo due md xa han cdn la pham trii tin ngudng mgt tin nguang the tuc, hidu cdn la mpt didu tudt xa hgi mpi ngudi phdi tuan dui Nhiing vide thd ciing td tidn dugc td chuc lidn lidp quanh nam, vifc giii gin md md n ^ i e m chinh, nhfrng vide lang Id cdn than va lap nha thd hg cung la nhung bidu hidn cua dgo hidu, ciia tin ngudng Nho gido Sy phdn bift trudng thu gid ud, ndi ngogi, cimg vdi vide Ihd cung td tien (nhu hien nay) vide lap gia phd, xdy dung gia hudn cung Id sy du nhap nhOmg ca chd tdng ldc - tdng phdp (cd phdn chju anh hudng van Tuy nhidn Dgo hi^u Nho giao d Viet hoa'Han - Nho) Hd didng gia dinh - thdn Nam cd mdt sd didm khdng gidng nhu d tdc nhu vgy cd cdu friic chat che, tao sy Trung Quoc Hieu d Trung Qude dugc ngung ket dn dinh cd Iinh truydn thdng thira tuyet doi hda nhu ly trf tien Ihien Tfr Han kd tidp nhidu thd he Nho ddn Tdng Nho la qud trinh ton giao Ngudi phuang Tdy \an ldn la hudng hda Nho giao frdn ca sd xa hdi la gia dinh ldi ly ca nhan cdn gia dinh nhidu Idn va long tgc chii nghta Hidu ciia Trung bj xdp vdo hang thii yeu d Vifl Nam vd Qude luyft ddi hda phy quyen va nam mgt sd nudc A Ddno, luan Iy vd dao quydn ddi cd hidn lugng "ngu hieu" due iruyen thdng deu hudng tai viec xdy Trong gia dinh Trung Quoc, ngudi cha cd dyng gia dinh bdn vting, Iau ddi, mdt trach quydn uy cao han tat cd; hg ngudi nhidm mdt ludn ly vd dao dCrc md Iinh tgc trudng cung d vi ui dung dau Hai ihyc CHINH TRj • VAN HOA - GIAO DUC - XA HOI thd ndy kdt hgp chi phdi cdc quan he xd hpi dugc ggi la chd dg tdng phap n^ng ne Vifl Nam khdng phai khdng cd mau sdc nhu vgy nhung il hon, nhgt han Nguyen nhdn chinh la xa hgi cau triic gia dinh Id gia dinh nhd, Chinh gia dinh nhd da didu kien hda liep nhgn anh hudng Nho gido Trong gia dinh Viet Nam, vg chdng tucmg ddi binh dang, npi ngoai tuang ddi gan nhau, gai ciing cd quydn dugc chia tai sdn Chinh cau tnic gia dinh nhd phd bidn khdp mgi nai Id tyc lugng han che anh hudng ciia Nho gido theo xa hdi tidu ndng liia nudc - gia dinh kidu hgt nhdn Cdn nhieu gia dinh Nho gido thudn liiy ciia bg phgn quan lai cao cap khdng phai Id khdng cd, nhung it va khdng ben vtnig lau ddi NHO GIAO TRONG GIA DINH VIgT NAM HI$N NAY Viet Nam, gia dinh kieu cu keo dai hdng ngdn ndm khong thd ly bdo tdn trudc sy ddi thay cda ddt nudc Cugc each mang vt dgi Dang Cgng sdn Viet Nam lanh dgo danh dd de quoc thuc dan phong kien khdng chi gidi phdng ddt nudc, gidi phdng dan ldc thoat khdi xidng xich nd If md cdn giai phdng cac tang ldp nidn va phu nu thodt khdi su coi thugng va dp chd cua be trdn cao iudi vd ciia nam gidi Thanh nidn khdng chi cdn d nhd dudi sy sap dat ciia cha m? ma ngdy hg ly khang dinh mrnh, dfrng ldn gdnh vac sfr menh thieng lidng Id bao ve td quoc va chii dgng iham gia nhinig cdng vide chung Phy nii Ichdng chi qudn quanh lam ndi trg rad da tham gia dam dang vifc nudc, vifc nhd cdm cay, cdm simg, khdng chiu thua kdm nam gidi Gia dinh Vift Nam, thdi ky dat nudc ddi mdi cd nhirng yeu td cu yeu td mdi dan xen Idn khdng chfr hidu mil quang nhu xua nhung Igi khdng it hidn tugng cai hon ldo vdi cha me Bdnh gia Irudng dgc tdn, dgc dodn gidm nhidu nhung cd nhieu bidu hifn gia tSng sy vd trach nhifm cua cdc bdc cha me khdng nhfrng khdng quan tam chdm sdc ma cdn lam hu hdng cai bdi sy hu hdng cua chinh minh Trong vide xay dyng gia dinh hda thudn, ddn chii binh ddng cd nhidu lien bd Van cdn giu dugc Iinh nghta vg chdng chung thuy truydn thdng Vifl Nam, song ciing dd xdy nhiing cdnh gia dinh lyc dye vg chdng ddnh chui sdng budng Ihd va bat chinh, v du Ihuang gid ddi vd ldng nhang bd bich Quan hf gia dinh cd sy bien ddi khd phuc lap Dac bift gdn ddy lai xudt hifn khuynh hudng ird lai vdi nhidu ne nep cU cua gia dinh theo chidu hudng lich cue Dd la quan tam hem den vifc xay dyng gia dinh va gido due cdi, didu ma trudc day Nho gido ddc bidt quan tam; xdy dyng tgi nha thd, sfra sang lai md ma, Id lidn, lap lai gia phd, di lai thdm hdi tim ngudi Irong hg, bay td linh cdm san sdng cuu mang ldn Sy nghiep ddi mdi dang tgo nhung sy ddi thay sinh hoat gia dinh Trong san xudt ndng nghiep va thu cdng nghidp, nen kinh td da tu gia dinh chuyen sang tap thd lai dang cd xu hudng tfr t|p thd frd lai gia dinh Lgi ich cua gia dinh khdng phy Ihudc mgi each dem gian vdo Igi ich xd hgi Nd dang dugc phat trien manh md mdi quan hf hdi hda vd hgp ly vdi Igi ich xa hdi Vide lam giau khdng cdn Id mpt vide ddng chd frach va can phai e ngai Nd dang dugc cd vii vd khuyen khich ddi vdi mgi gia dinh va mdi ngudi Lgi ich chinh ddng ciia gia dinh vd cd nhdn dugc ty phdt fridn, dang Id dgng ca thuc day tri tuf vd iai ndng, phdt huy truyen Ihdng dung cam va sang tao cua cd ddn tdc Cugc sdng ciia moi gia dinh cang dugc cai Ihien Tuy nhidn ben canh nhiing thdnh tyu ddng khich If lai sinh rdt nhidu hifn hrgng tieu cyc frong quan hf gitta ngudi vdi ngudi, d ngoai xa hgi ciing nhu mdi gia dinh TAP CHf KHOA HQC SO (25) 2012 Ldm giau nhieu Itic gan lien vdi nhiing hdnh dgng gian ddi lira ddo, gidm dap len nhung chuan mye thdng ihudng cua dao due Nay sinh nhiing hifn tugng iham nhiing uong bd may Nhd nude, nhirng hanh vi trdm cap vd tdn bao xa hdi Dd dan dan xdu di nhiing quan he iruyen Ihdng giua cha chdng vg anh em pham vi gia dinh Ndu nhu quan he xa hdi bdt ddu tu quan he gia dinh, neu nhu quy tic iing xu ngoai xa hdi bdt dau lu quy ldc iing xir gia dinh thi phai chdng nhfrng hidn lugng lieu cyc ngdy cung la kdt qua ciia su suy thoai gia dinh? Phai chdng cilng vi ne ndp sinh hoai lot dep gia dinh nhimg quy tac ma Nho giao lii ngdn ndm da xay dyng nen d moi gia dinh khdng cdn gifr igi nfra frong ngudi Viet Nam hdm na> ? Phdi chdng dd den liic can khdi phuc tgi Nho gido de tu dgo due frong gia dinh Cling CO thdm dgo due ngodi xd hpi dd tu quan didm nhdn nghTa ciia cha dng dua ddi sdng phu qu>' ciia xa hgi di vdo dudng Idnh mgnh Gia dinh Vidt Nam ngdy khdng ndm frong khudn khd cua chd phong kidn vd tu sdn md lgi ddi trdn ca sd danh dd nhiing chd dg dy Ndu gia dinh cu dd thu hep chfr hidu vao quan he vdi bo me frong gia dinh thi gia dinh Vidl Nam Iai md rgng chfr hidu tmh cam manh lift ddi vdi Id qude va nhan ddn Chfr trung cua gia dtnh Viel Nam khdng cdn la chfr uung ddi vdi vua chiia vd ddi vai dng chu bdc lot nfra md dd trd thdnh chfr trung ddi vdi Id qude Chinh vi Id tren md cugc cdch mang xa hgi d Viet Nam lgi gdn lien vfri cugc each mang gia dinh gdn lidn vdi vifc gidi phdng mgi vien frong gia dinh nhdt Id phu nfr va nidn khdi Id giao khdc nghiftvdsy dgc doan cua ngudi gia trudng Iheo linh thdn ciia Nho gido Tinh cam ciia ^ia dinh cd thd coi nhu linh cdm sau sdc ddu tidn ciia ngudi nhung tinh cam ay Iai phai dugc xdy dyng trdn ca sd binh ddng va ty nguydn khdng phai su dp dai quyen Iuc chinh trj gia dinh Tinh cam sau sac frong gia dinh tdt yeu dan tdi nhiing tinh cam ddi vdi ba thdn tdc vdi ddng hg ldn vd nhd Nhung nhirng tinh cam ay khdng the ddn tinh thdn ich ky, cue bd ban vi chi hidi chdm lo cho lgi ich ridng tu thidn vj va che day cho lgi ich ridng ciia gia dinh thidn vj vd che day cho bd anh em, keo be cdnh ddng hg dd ddi lap lgi vdi Igi ich cdng cgng ciia dia phuang ciia xd hdi Gia dinh Viet Nam xay dyng nhirng quy Idc mdi bao dam nhirng quan he lanh manh vd cd ky' cuang gifra cac vidn gia dinh day nhiing linh cdm ianh manh vd sau sdc thd hidn qua nhimg quan he chung thiiy than yeu cham lo cho su tien bg ciia ve dao dfrc va tdi ndng, phye vy cho ly tudng cao ca ciia dan tdc Tinh cam dy khdng gidng nhu ngdy xua thd hifn ben ngodi qua thdi khiim ndm cua ngudi dudi vd hdng hdch ciia ngudi iren Do Id su khiim mim vd hdng hach ma chd dp phong kidn da ddi hdi quan he gifra lang Idp vua quan thdng trj va cac tang Idp nhdn ddn bi ihdng In KtT LUAN Gia dinh Viet Nam cd sy hda trgn gil^ bdn sac ridng cua ddn Idc vdi dao ly Nho gido Trung Hoa Igo nen nhtrng net ddc dao Chinh nhfrng nhan td tich cue ciia Nho giao sau khiic xg bdi van hda lang Met Nam dd gdp vdo vide hinh ihdnh nudi duong Ihuan phong mJ luc ndp sdng cdng ddng linh nghta vd y thfrc ly ton quoc gia - ddn tgc Nhiing ydu td tich cyc aia Nho giao da gido due ldng yeu thuong ddi vdi ngudi ddi vdi xa hgi bit dau lu tinh ydu thuang gia dinh vdn rdt phii hgp vdi tinh cdra va dao Iy van hda Idng Vidl Nam Trong cdc gia dinh, phd bidn la bdu khdng "kinh frdn nhudng dudi" CHIKH TRj - VAN H O A - GlAO DyC - XA HOl cai hidu thdo vdi cha me vg kinh frgng va yeu ihucmg chdng, cha me nhan tfr vdi cdi, anh em coi nhu thd tay chdn Day Id ndi dung ciia sy hda thudn gia dinh, tir dd la su hda thudn frong xim ngodi lang, rdi md rdng todn xd hdi Mat khac nhtrng ydu td tidu cyc ciia Nho giao cung gay nhinig anh hudng xau frong xa hdi, nhu thai dp va tac phong gia trudng, sy phuc tung me mudi, y thuc frgng nam khirdi nii Tuy nhidn nhfrng yeu td tidu cyc khdng gay dugc anh hudng mgnh me ddi vdi gia dinh truyen thdng Viet Nam nhdt Id giadinh ldp dudi Vide tiep bidn cd chgn tgc cdc gia frj Nho giao d gia dinh truyen thdng Vift Nam phan dnh kieu liep bidn van hda ciia Vidl Nam frong phuc hgp nha - lang - nudc Hien kinh le hp gia dinh dugc de cao thi dong tidn da dnh hudng ldi ddi sdng tinh cam cua gia dinh Viec chgy dua theo sy gidu sang da ldm cho Iudn Uiudng dao ly bj ddo ldn Tinh irang ly hdn bao lyc gia dinh cd khuynh hudng gia Idng Tinh hinh trdn chiing td nhiing mdi quan he gia dinh cung phiic lap vd gay git khdng kem gi cdc mdi quan he xd hgi Hifn chiing la van dang d tinh thd ludng nan: hoac la "tien thing" ddn md hinh gia dinh hifn dgi hoac vdi kieu gia dinh fruydn thong, Ndu frd vd vdi gia dinh truydn thong Ihi dii chi ke thua tinh hoa cilng khdng thd bd qua dugc nhiing ddc trung cd htiu, tinh ddng kin ciia hf thong gia dinh - gia tdc gia Irudng, sy 6m ddm loan bg cdc chfrc nang kinh td tdi sdn xuat siic lao ddng, nudi duang va giao due cai, chdm sdc vd bdo vd cdc vidn Tien bg cua lich su cho thdy rdng, kidu gia dinh khdng cd dii cdc dieu kifn can thidt dd lam tot chuc ndng cua minh Hon the nd cdn chua dimg biet bao ydu Id cd hu bd budc ngudi, nhdt Id ngudi phy nu Cdn ndu "neu tidn thdng ddn kieu gia dinh hidn dgi thi dii cd tidp thu c6 chgn loc kidu gia dinh xd hgi cdng nghidp phuong Tdy mdt cdch idi uu ciing vdp phdi nhiing khuynh hudng tdm khuynh ddo thudn phong, mf tyc tam Iy vd tinh cam huydt igc, ldng xdm qud huong, Cdc tinh chit md, bidn dgng va qua trinh hat nhan hda, ca nhan hda sd tan phd ddi sdng tinh cam gia dinh mdt cdch phu phdng Do vay nguyen vgng chung ciia chiing ta Id khdng mudn lap lgi nhu nguydn cai di sdn truydn thdng vd cung chang mudn "tidn thing" ddn md hinh gia dinh hidn dgi Chiing ta mong mudn mdt md hinh gia dinh cd Ihd kdt hgp dugc nhting uu didm ciia cd gia dinh truydn thong vd gia dinh hifn dai TAI LifiU THAM ICHAO Nguydn Ddng Duy: ATjogiflo VOT va/! hda Flit Nam Nxb Hd Ndi 1998 Phan Dgi Dodn (chu bidn): mdt sd vdn di vi Nho gido Viet Nam Nxb CTQG, 1999 Nguyen Van Hdng;A'te^/aova(?flo ducNhogido Khoa hgc vdTd qude, sd - 2002 Vu Khidu (chu bidn): Nho gido vd g/fl^nA Nxb KHXH, 1995 Vii Khidu: Nho gido vdphdt triin & Viit Nam.-Nxb KHXH, 1997 6- Ld ST T h i n g (chu bien): A^Aog/flo tgi Viet Nam Nxb KHXH, Hd Ngi 1994 Ld Thi (chu bien): Gia dinh Viit Nam bdi cdn^ ddt nudc ddi m&i Nxb KHXH, 2002 Nguydn Tdi Thu (chii bidn): dnh hu&ng cua tu tu&ng vd ton gido ddi v&i ngu&i Viit Nam hiin Nxb CTQG, 1997 Nguyen Tdi Thu: Nho hpe vd nho hpe & Viit Nam: mpt sd vdn de ly ludn vd thuc tiin Nxb KHXH, 1997  ... CUA NHO GIAO VOI GIA DINH VIET NAM TRUVfeN THONG Nho gido vao Viet Nam tfr ngodi vao, tu tren xudng Cdc trieu dgi phong kien trudc ddy da dua dao due Nho giao tu Trung Quoc vao xd hdi Vidl Nam. .. frpng nam khinh nfr lai cdng ciing cd gia dinh phy quydn gia trudng Cho nen dja vj ngudi phu nu gia dinh Nho giao chi la tam tmig d nha theo cha, Idy chdng theo chdng, chdng chdt theo Nho giao... dn mdi gia dinh, Nudc thinh bdi ngudn tfr moi gia dinh Nho giao ddt cho mdi ngudi (nam gidi) irudc hdt phai lu than, te gia rdi nidi trj qude sau mdi den hinh ihien I CIA filNH TRONG NHO GIAO Hieu