Topic: Plain English report writing I. Definition of Plain English and its Benefits II. Give instructions III. Passives and Actives IV. Keep your sentences short V. Talk to your reader VI. Nominalisation VII. Cutting out useless words and other points to consider VIII. Using lists
z BỘ GIÁO DỤC VÀ ĐÀO TẠO TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC THƯƠNG MẠI REPORT GROUP Topic 4.5 Nguyễn Thị Thơm Võ Thị Thơm Nguyễn Thị Thu(TK) Cao Đình Thư(NT) Tạ Thị Bích Thủy Trần Thị Thủy Hà Thị Thu Trang Mai Thị Trang Môn: Tiếng Anh thương mại 2.2 Lớp HP: 2084ENPR5311 Năm học 2020-2021 Đánh giá STT 36 Họ tên Cao Đình Thư 33 40 37 Nguyễn Thị Thơm Mai Thị Trang Tạ Thị Bích Thủy 34 35 Võ Thị Thơm Nguyễn Thị Thu 38 Trần Thị Thủy 39 Hà Thị Thu Trang Nhiệm vụ Nhóm trưởng – Tổng hợp powerpoint Phần – The definition and advantages of plain english Phần – Give instructions Phần 3.1 – Passives Phần 3.2 – Actives Phần – Keep your sentences short Phần – Talk to your reader Thư ký – Tổng hợp word Phần - Nominalisation Phần – Cutting out useless words and other points to consider Phần – Using lists Điểm Topic 4.5: Plain english report writing I Definition of Plain English and its Benefits - Give two different writing style paragraphs for demonstration Ex1: Son Tung MTP's latterly launched digitalized video music product has taken the top spot in the video composite panel Thereby, of course, it becomes one of the leading videos watched by audience on Youtube in a number of many countries - This piece of writing contains long-winded, complex expressions and unnecessary words Hard to get the information Ex2: Son Tung M-TP's latest MV has dominated several charts to become one of the most trending YouTube videos in a host of countries - This one carries the same meaning but it is shorter, clearer, easier to understand Definition: Plain English is a way of presenting information that helps someone understand it the first time they read or hear it Its advantages for writing: - Save time for reading and understanding - Save money and personnel resources to inform or rewrite as it is friendly to readers II Give instructions Don't be afraid to give instructions First of all, I have some examples: - Go out! - Open your book - Please give it to me These examples are all commands - officially called imperatives They are the fastest and most direct way of giving someone instructions We often see the imperative form in instruction manuals or when someone tells you how to something However, if we asked a hardened bureaucrat to write these expressions, we would end up with something like the following: - Dogs are advised that they should stop barking - I should be grateful if you would give it to me Besides, there always seems to be a fear of commands The most common fault is putting 'students should this' or 'you should this' instead of just 'do this' Perhaps people worry that commands sound too harsh But you can often solve this by putting the word 'please' in front However, if something must be done, it is best not to say ‘please’ as it gives the reader the option to refuse the request Here are some examples of long-winded phrases and shorter versions that use commands: - You should tell her the truth Tell her the truth - They should be drawn carefully Draw them carefully The last example is probably the worst because it uses a passive verb - 'should be drawn' Unfortunately, this is very common in instructions For example: - This car should not be parked here No parking III Passives and Actives Do you want to reports to sound active or passive – crisp and professional or stuff and bureaucractic? In this part, we are going to consider the difference between active and passive verbs in writing reports in plain English Passives - Passive verbs make writing duller and harder to understand With passive verbs, the thing come first, then “tobe” ,” past participle, “by” and the doer come after that • O+ tobe+ Ved/pp+ by+ S Eg: The boss closed the door ( active) The door was closed by the boss ( passive) You can see that by making the passive sentence, we have had to introduce the word “was” and “by” , which means the sentence is now much clumsier - Remember that the doer is not always a person and the thing is not always a thing! Eg: The tree crushed Henry ( active) Henry was crushed by the tree ( passive) - Sometimes the doer gets left out Sentences with passive verbs can make sense without having a doer For instance: “ the report is being written”, “ the cake was eaten” all leave out the doer People used to officialese often write reports that are full of passive verbs, with sentences like these Eg: + 35 sites were visited in three weeks Procedures were being properly followed at the sites visited So in this example, the reader may be left asking : “ who visted the sites?” ,“ who was following procedures properly?” and so on Changing to active verbs reveals the “doers” and sharpens up dull and unclear sentences + We visited 35 sites in three week At the sites we visited, we found that staff were following procedures properly You will notice that in the last sentence we have used an active verb instead of “ an awareness of” As we shall see later this is an example of changing a “ nominalisation” into a verb - Spotting passives: There is another way of spotting passive verbs which is especially useful when the doer isn’t mentioned in the sentence - First, passive verbs almost always have one of the following words added on - be, being, am, are, is, was, were, will be They are all formed from the verb ‘to be’ - Second, passive verbs have a ‘past participle’( Ex: ask- asked, write- written) - Good uses of passives : • To make something less hostile Example: “This bill has not been paid” (passive) is softer than “you have not paid this bill” (active) • To avoid taking the blame Example: “A mistake was made” (passive) rather than “we made a mistake” (active) • When you don’t know who or what the doer is Example: “The patient was advised to avoid alcohol” • If it simply sounds better but aim to make 80-90% of your verbs active Actives Prefer active verbs More than any other writing technique, using active voice and specifying who is performing an action will change the character of your writing • The active tends to make the writing tighter, more personal, and introduces action earlier in sentences • Active voice makes it clear who is supposed to what It eliminates ambiguity about responsibilities Not “It must be done,” but “You must it.” Passive voice obscures who is responsible for what and is one of the biggest problems with government writing • In an active sentence, the person or agency that’s acting is the subject of the sentence To give an example: A: Peter watched the television P: The television was watched by Peter In a passive sentence, the person or item that is acted upon is the subject of the sentence IV Keep your sentences short Most experts agree that clear writing should have an average sentence length of 15-20 words This does not mean making every sentence the same length Vary your sentence length because too many short sentences will make the reading dull Ways to shorten sentences and improve your writing • Count the commas If you are not listing items, and your sentence has more than three commas, you should consider splitting the sentence • Cut unnecessary conjunctions Find them and decide if you can remove them and make two sentences instead of one • One thought per paragraph We tend to read the first sentence in a paragraph and then we scan the rest of the paragraph If you introduce second and third points later in the same paragraph, your reader may miss them • Remove redundant words We add words that don’t add value If you can remove a word from the sentence and it doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence you don’t need the word Here’s a ‘before’ and ‘after’ example, as easy as simply adding an extra period in the middle: Before: The government can now better understand the potential location and impact of where the biggest earthquakes will occur within a 1.5 million square kilometer area and is using the information to assess and prioritize seismic upgrades at its facilities (39 words) Long sentences are easier to follow if broken down into two or more statements That’s 39 words with barely a pause for breath It would make sense to break it down into shorter sentences Here’s how edit to improve After: The government can now better understand the potential location and impact of where the biggest earthquakes will occur within a 1.5 million square kilometer area It is using the information to assess and prioritize seismic upgrades at its facilities V Talk to your reader Write with your reader in mind If you want to encourage people to read your report, give them a piece of writing that is lively and readable Imagine you are presenting your report to your reader yourself Think carefully: What they know already? What you need to tell them? Talk directly to your readers in language they understand You will find that using shorter sentences and active verbs will already have made a difference Use 'you' and 'we' Try to call the reader 'you', even if the reader is only one of many people you are talking about generally If this feels wrong at first, remember that you wouldn't use words like 'the applicant' and 'the supplier' if you were speaking to somebody sitting across a desk from you Here are some examples of this Applicants must send us ->You must send us We always tell customers before we ->We will tell you before we Advice is available from ->You can get advice from Similarly, always call your organisation 'we' And there is nothing wrong with using 'we' and 'I' in the same letter As we said earlier, reports used to be full of passive verbs This allowed the writer to remain anonymous by leaving out the doer They used phrases like: • it was found that; • it is accepted that; and • it is recommended that The reason (or excuse) for this used to be that the writer was writing on behalf of the organisation But usually everyone knows who has written the report, who interviewed people and so on Let the readers know there is a person behind the print It’s not just friendlier; ‘I’, ‘you’ and ‘we’ are also usually easier to understand Use phrases like: • we found that; • I accept that; and • we recommend that Obviously you will use ‘I’ if the report is all your own work, and ‘we’ if you are reporting on a team effort But be sure that your audience knows who you are talking about Understandable words Say exactly what you mean, using the simplest words that fit This does not necessarily mean only using simple words - just words that the reader will understand At the end of the course is a list of a few of the words that we suggest you avoid But for most words you will have to decide yourself whether they are suitable Most importantly, don’t use jargon that is part of your working life unless you are writing to someone who uses the same jargon If a teacher is writing to an education officer, the jargon word ‘SATs’ could be very useful in saving time and space But when writing a report that parents will read, you wouldn’t use it without explaining what it means In general, use everyday English whenever you can Again, imagine you are presenting your report in person Write to communicate, not to impress VI Nominalisation A ‘nominalisation’ is a type of ‘abstract noun’ In other words, it is the name of something that isn’t a physical object but a process, technique or emotion Nominalisation is the process of making a noun from a verb or adjective For example: Verb Nominalisation complete completion fail failure provide provision introduce introduction arrange arrangement investigate investigation react reaction So what’s wrong with them? The problem is that writers often use nominalisations when they should use the verbs they come from Like passive verbs, too many nominalisations make writing very dull and heavy-going They are something that are not concrete so they take the power away from the original verb When we write in plain language, we should try to avoid nominalisations, because they make sentences unclear If we use them, we have to use more words in our sentences They drain the life out of our writing If we use lots of nominalisations together, the mind is not sure exactly what is being said and so it drifts off and gets distracted Here are some examples of nominalisations, with plain English versions underneath: • We had a discussion about the matter => We discussed the matter • The report made reference to staff shortages => The report referred to staff shortages • The decision was taken by the Board => The Board decided VII Cutting out useless words and other points to consider Cutting out useless words - Eliminate words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detail Always consider readers while drafting and revising writing If passages explain or describe details that would already be obvious to readers, delete or reword them Readers are also very adept at filling in the non-essential aspects of a narrative Wordy: Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess Concise: Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess - Omit repetitive wording Watch for phrases or longer passages that repeat words with similar meanings Words that don't build on the content of sentences or paragraphs are rarely necessary Wordy: The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury Concise: The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury - Omit redundant categories Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word: Wordy: During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance Concise: During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars Other points to consider Sounding positive: Always try to emphasise the positive side of things For example: • If you don’t send your payment, we won’t be able to renew your membership of the scheme (negative) • Please send your payment so that we can renew your membership of the scheme (positive) VIII Using lists Lists are excellent for splitting information up There are two main types of list • You can have a continuous sentence with several listed points picked out at the beginning, middle or end • You can have a list of separate points with an introductory statement (like this list) In the list above, each of the points is a complete sentence so they each start with a capital letter and end with a full stop For the same type of list with short points, it is better to set it out like this Kevin needed to take: • a penknife • some string • a pad of paper • a pen With a list that is part of a continuous sentence, put semi-colons (;) after each point and start each with a lower case letter If you can prove that: • you were somewhere else at the time; • you were not related to Mary; and • you are over 21; then you should be all right As you can see, the next to last point has ‘and’ after the semi-colon If you only had to prove one of the three points instead of all of them, this word would be ‘or’ Always make sure each point follows logically from the introduction For example, if you took out ‘you’ from the second and third points it would still flow as a normal sentence but not as a list The third point would effectively read ‘If you can prove that are over 21’ which obviously does not make sense We have also used bullet points for each listed point These are better than numbers or letters as they draw your attention to each point without giving you extra information to take in THE END! 10