Luận án Tiến sĩ Ngữ văn: Những vấn đề về mạch lạc văn bản trong bài làm văn của học sinh phổ thông

Luận án Tiến sĩ Ngữ văn: Những vấn đề về mạch lạc văn bản trong bài làm văn của học sinh phổ thông tổng quan về văn bản, đoạn văn và mạch lạc; lỗi về mạch lạc trong bài tập làm văn của học sinh phổ thông; chuẩn mạch lạc trong văn bản tập làm văn.

BỘ GIÁO DỤC VÀ ĐÀO TẠO TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC SƯ PHẠM THÀNH PHỐ HỒ CHÍ MINH PHAN THỊ AI NHỮNG VẤN ĐỀ VỀ MẠCH LẠC VĂN BẢN TRONG BÀI LÀM VĂN CỦA HỌC SINH PHỔ THÔNG LUẬN ÁN TIẾN SĨ NGỮ VĂN THÀNH PHỐ HỒ CHÍ MINH – NĂM 2011 BỘ GIÁO DỤC VÀ ĐÀO TẠO TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC SƯ PHẠM THÀNH PHỐ HỒ CHÍ MINH PHAN THỊ AI NHỮNG VẤN ĐỀ VỀ MẠCH LẠC VĂN BẢN TRONG BÀI LÀM VĂN CỦA HỌC SINH PHỔ THÔNG CHUYÊN NGÀNH: LÝ LUẬN NGÔN NGỮ Mã số: 62.22.01.01 LUẬN ÁN TIẾN SĨ NGỮ VĂN Người hướng dẫn khoa học: PGS.TS DƯ NGỌC NGÂN PGS.TS TRỊNH SÂM THÀNH PHỐ HỒ CHÍ MINH – NĂM 2011 LỜI CAM ĐOAN Tôi cam đoan cơng trình nghiên cứu riêng tơi Các số liệu, kết trình bày luận án trung thực chưa công bố cơng trình Tơi xin hồn tồn chịu trách nhiệm nội dung luận án Người cam đoan PHAN THỊ AI Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh – 2011 MỤC LỤC LỜI CAM ĐOAN 2T 2T MỤC LỤC 2T T QUY ƯỚC TRÌNH BÀY 10 2T 2T MỞ ĐẦU 11 2T T LÝ DO CHỌN ĐỀ TÀI VÀ MỤC ĐÍCH NGHIÊN CỨU 11 2T T 1.1 Lý chọn đề tài 11 T 2T 1.2 Mục đích nghiên cứu 12 T 2T LỊCH SỬ VẤN ĐỀ 13 2T 2T ĐỐI TƯỢNG VÀ PHẠM VI NGHIÊN CỨU 17 2T T 4.1 Đối tượng nghiên cứu 17 T 2T 4.2 Phạm vi nghiên cứu 17 T 2T PHƯƠNG PHÁP NGHIÊN CỨU VÀ NGUỒN NGỮ LIỆU 17 2T T 5.1 Phương pháp nghiên cứu 17 T 2T 5.2 Nguồn ngữ liệu 19 T 2T Ý NGHĨA KHOA HỌC VÀ THỰC TIỄN CỦA ĐỀ TÀI 19 2T T CHƯƠNG 1: TỔNG QUAN VỀ VĂN BẢN, ĐOẠN VĂN VÀ MẠCH LẠC 21 2T T 1.1 VĂN BẢN 21 2T T 1.1.1 Vài nét ngữ pháp văn 21 T 2T 1.1.1.1 Sơ lược đời ngữ pháp văn 21 T T 1.1.1.2 Ý nghĩa lý thuyết ngữ pháp văn trường phổ thông 22 T T 1.1.2 Khái niệm văn (text) 23 T 2T 1.1.2.1 Một số quan niệm văn 23 T T 1.1.2.2 Khái niệm văn sách giáo khoa phổ thông 25 T T 1.1.3 Đặc điểm 25 T 2T 1.1.3.1 Đặc điểm chung văn 25 T T 1.1.3.2 Đặc điểm văn nói văn viết 32 T T 1.2 ĐOẠN VĂN TRONG VĂN BẢN 38 2T 2T 1.2.1 Khái niệm đoạn văn 38 T 2T 1.2.2 Phân loại đoạn văn 40 T 2T 1.2.3 Cấu trúc đoạn văn 41 T 2T 1.2.3.1 Đoạn văn có câu chủ đề 41 T 2T 1.2.3.2 Đoạn văn khơng có câu chủ đề 44 T T 1.3 MẠCH LẠC CỦA VĂN BẢN 49 2T 2T 1.3.1 Mạch lạc liên kết 50 T 2T 1.3.1.1 Khái niệm mạch lạc 50 T 2T 1.3.1.2 Khái niệm liên kết 55 T 2T 1.3.1.3 Phân biệt mạch lạc liên kết 57 T T 1.3.2 Mạch lạc văn nói văn viết 60 T T 1.3.2.1 Mạch lạc văn nói 60 T 2T 1.3.2.2 Mạch lạc văn viết 63 T 2T 1.3.3 Các cấp mạch lạc (coherence levels) 64 T T 1.3.3.1 Mạch lạc câu văn/ Câu văn mạch lạc (coherence in sentence) 64 T T 1.3.3.2 Mạch lạc đoạn văn/ Đoạn văn mạch lạc (coherence in paragraph) 65 T T 1.4 TIỂU KẾT 69 2T T CHƯƠNG 2: LỖI VỀ MẠCH LẠC TRONG BÀI TẬP LÀM VĂN CỦA HỌC SINH 2T PHỔ THÔNG 71 T 2.1 KẾT QUẢ KHẢO SÁT 71 2T 2T 2.2 LỖI DIỄN ĐẠT THIẾU MẠCH LẠC 75 2T 2T 2.2.1 Khái niệm 75 T 2T 2.2.2 Phân biệt lỗi không mạch lạc lỗi thiếu mạch lạc 77 T T 2.2.2.1 Lỗi không mạch lạc 77 T 2T 2.2.2.2 Lỗi thiếu mạch lạc 79 T 2T 2.3 MỘT SỐ LỖI DIỄN ĐẠT THIẾU MẠCH LẠC 81 2T T 2.3.1 Lỗi câu 81 T 2T 2.3.1.1 Quan hệ hướng nội 82 T 2T 2.3.1.2 Quan hệ hướng ngoại 93 T 2T 2.3.2 Lỗi đoạn 98 T 2T 2.3.2.1 Triển khai lệch chủ đề 98 T 2T 2.3.2.2 Triển khai thiếu ý 100 T 2T 2.3.2.3 Triển khai ý thiếu hệ thống 101 T T 2.3.2.4 Triển khai nội dung thiếu xác 106 T T 2.3.3 Lỗi văn 109 T 2T 2.3.3.1 Thiếu nội dung 109 T 2T 2.3.3.2 Không tách đoạn 111 T 2T 2.3.3.3 Tách đoạn tuỳ tiện 113 T 2T 2.3.3.4 Thiếu liên kết đoạn 115 T 2T 2.4 TIỂU KẾT 116 2T T CHƯƠNG 3: CHUẨN MẠCH LẠC TRONG VĂN BẢN TẬP LÀM VĂN 118 2T T 3.1 VĂN BẢN TẬP LÀM VĂN MẠCH LẠC 118 2T T 3.1.1 Hình thức văn tập làm văn mạch lạc 120 T T 3.1.2 Nội dung văn tập làm văn mạch lạc 122 T T 3.1.2.1 Phần mở 123 T 2T 3.1.2.2 Phần thân 126 T 2T 3.1.2.3 Phần kết 131 T 2T 3.2 NHỮNG QUAN HỆ TẠO NÊN MẠCH LẠC VĂN BẢN TẬP LÀM VĂN 133 2T T 3.2.1 Quan hệ liên kết 133 T 2T 3.2.1.1 Liên kết quy chiếu: 134 T 2T 3.2.1.2 Liên kết thay 135 T 2T 3.2.1.3 Liên kết nối 136 T 2T 3.2.1.4 Liên kết tỉnh lược 138 T 2T 3.2.1.5 Liên kết lặp 138 T 2T 3.2.2 Quan hệ ngữ nghĩa 141 T 2T 3.2.2.1 Quan hệ tương liên 141 T 2T 3.2.2.2 Quan hệ ngữ cảnh 142 T 2T 3.2.2.3 Quan hệ logic 143 T 2T 3.3 TIỂU KẾT 159 2T T KẾT LUẬN 161 2T T DANH MỤC CÁC CƠNG TRÌNH NGHIÊN CỨU CỦA TÁC GIẢ 165 2T T TÀI LIỆU THAM KHẢO 166 2T 2T XUẤT XỨ CÁC VÍ DỤ .170 2T 2T PHỤ LỤC 171 2T T NHỮNG VÍ DỤ VỀ CÂU VĂN, ĐOẠN VĂN THIẾU MẠCH LẠC 190 2T T TÓM TẮT TIẾNG ANH 238 2T 2T CỘNG HOÀ XÃ HỘI CHỦ NGHĨA VIỆT NAM Độc lập – Tự – Hạnh phúc BẢN GIẢI TRÌNH V/v: Sửa luận án theo yêu cầu phản biện độc lập Kính gửi: - Trường Đại học sư phạm TP.HCM - Phòng Sau đại học U U Tôi tên: PHAN THỊ AI Đơn vị công tác: Trường THPT Bình An, huyện Dĩ An, tỉnh Bình Dương, nghiên cứu sinh chuyên ngành Lý luận Ngôn ngữ - Mã số 62 22 01 01 theo định số 5866/QĐ-BGDĐT ngày 21 tháng 10 năm 2005 Bộ Giáo dục Đào tạo Tên đề tài nghiên cứu: “Những vấn đề mạch lạc văn làm văn học sinh phổ thông” Cán hướng dẫn khoa học: PGS TS Dư Ngọc Ngân PGS TS Trịnh Sâm Căn vào nội dung nhận xét phản biện độc lập, hướng dẫn tận tình cán hướng dẫn khoa học, thực việc chỉnh sửa số nội dung luận án sau: Ở phần Dẫn nhập Bỏ phương pháp so sánh phần phương pháp nghiên cứu đổi tên phương pháp thực nghiệm thành phương pháp chuyên gia Ở Chương Chỉnh sửa số sơ đồ minh hoạ cho ví dụ 55, 59 trang 71, 72 theo ý kiến phản biện độc lập Ở Chương - Bổ sung nhận xét sau bảng thống kê nhằm xác định hạn chế tập làm văn học sinh nay, nguyên nhân dẫn đến lỗi viết văn thiếu mạch lạc biện pháp khắc phục - Chỉnh sửa số từ ngữ, diễn đạt nhận định khái quát phần tiểu kết - Lỗi thiếu thông tin phong cách, giữ lại theo quan điểm riêng loại lỗi ảnh hưởng đến mức độ mạch lạc câu văn, đoạn văn Phong chữ số bảng biểu thực từ chương trình SPSS dịch sang tiếng Việt Ở Chương - Bổ sung làm rõ tiểu mục thứ văn tập làm văn mạch lạc Phân tích tính mạch lạc số đoạn văn viết học sinh nhằm giúp học sinh hiểu rõ biết cách rèn luyện kỹ viết đoạn văn mạch lạc - Chỉnh sửa phần nhận định tiểu kết khái quát - Chỉnh sửa quy cách: cách trích dẫn xuất xứ lại cho quy cách,…; bỏ bớt số phần in đậm không quan trọng… - Sửa lỗi diễn đạt (tr.20) lỗi chế trang: 115, 128, 138, 146… Tôi nghiêm túc sửa chữa luận án theo yêu cầu nhận xét phản biện Vì vậy, tơi lập giải trình kính mong Thầy Cơ hướng dẫn xác nhận, Phịng Sau đại học Lãnh đạo nhà trường tạo điều kiện để tơi hồn tất thủ tục bảo vệ luận án Xin trân trọng cảm ơn Tp Hồ Chí Minh, ngày 28 tháng năm 2011 XÁC NHẬN CỦA TẬP THỂ HƯỚNG DẪN NGHIÊN CỨU SINH QUY ƯỚC TRÌNH BÀY Các bảng biểu, sơ đồ đánh số theo chương mục Luận án để tiện theo dõi Việc trích dẫn tài liệu ghi theo số thứ tự danh mục “Tài liệu tham khảo” đặt dấu ngoặc vuông Số số thứ tự tài liệu, số số thứ tự trang tài liệu Các ví dụ đánh số theo thứ tự tăng dần (1), (2), (3),… đến hết Chú thích nguồn liệu: câu văn, đoạn văn phần phụ lục thích (Phụ lục); câu văn, đoạn văn viết tốt trích từ làm văn học sinh ghi (Bài làm học sinh); trích tác phẩm văn học ghi tên tác giả, ví dụ (Tơ Hồi) Chữ viết tắt: THCS: trung học sở; THPT: trung học phổ thông, NAN: Nguyễn An Ninh Example: We Vietnamese people have been building our country on love and struggle: love for our country, love for others, and love for ourselves; in the meanwhile, we struggle against tyrants, and against invaders (Lê Duẩn) The main idea of the above sentence is Vietnam has been building its country and the two major supporting ideas are love and struggle Supporting details for love are arranged general-specific, supporting details for struggle are arranged inside-outside The two major ideas are connected by in the meanwhile This is a highly coherent sentence Obviously, a coherent sentence must be a grammatical sentence; the words or phrases must be in a logical order and focus on a topic 1.3.3.2 Coherence in paragraph Example: My hometown is famous for several amazing natural features First, it is noted for the Wheaton River, which is very wide and beautiful On either side of this river, which is 175 feet wide, are many willow trees which have long branches that can move gracefully in the wind In autumn the leaves of these trees fall and cover the riverbanks like golden snow Second, on the other side of the town is Wheaton Hill, which is unusual because it is very steep Even though it is steep, climbing this hill is not dangerous, because there are some firm rocks along the sides that can be used as stairs There are no trees around this hill, so it stands clearly against the sky and can be seen from many miles away The third amazing feature is the Big Old Tree This tree stands two hundred feet tall and is probably about six hundred years old These three landmarks are truly amazing and make my hometown a famous place The above paragraph has three major ideas indicated by the three cohesive devices First, Second, third The use of these linking words is a way to create coherence for the paragraph Besides, the demonstratives and referents this river, these trees, this hill are used to create cohesion between the sentences about the same topic of the paragraph It can be said that when supporting the main idea, the writer can use some secondary cohesive devices to link the details under a major idea Below is an illustrative chart Amazing landmarks Wide and beautiful Wheaton river Steep Wheaton hill 600-year old tree famous landmarks of hometown Chart 1.17: Relationship of major ideas in a paragraph Consequently, a coherent paragraph must have unity, that is, all the sentences in this paragraph are about one topic, and these sentences must be arranged in a logical, cohesive order 1.4 SUB CONCLUSION In this chapter, the thesis systematically introduces the concepts of text, paragraph, coherence; it gives specific definitions of coherence, and differentiates coherence from cohesion Also, the thesis introduces and analyzes some examples of coherent sentences and paragraphs CHAPTER 2: ERRORS OF COHERENCE IN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS’ ESSAYS 2.1 SURVEY RESULTS Table 2.1: Statistics of errors N Level o Type -> error -> errors 4-> errors Over errors (2) (3) (4) (1) SL % SL % SL % SL % Punctuati on 0.2 143 14 305 30 550 55 Word 0.9 213 21 446 44 331 33 choice Referents 194 19 568 56 228 22 10 Order 80 8.0 289 28 443 44 188 18 Off-topic 245 24 662 66 86 8.6 1.0 0.7 Poor support 18 1.8 252 25 442 44 288 28 Repetition 81 8.1 201 20 281 28 437 43 Absence of logic Lengthine 18 ss Run-on 142 14 31 208 20 369 36 281 28 1.8 153 15 224 22 605 60 3.1 158 15 395 39 416 41 Through table 2.1a, we can see that all the sample essays contain errors Especially, for the errors at levels 3,4, the absence of continuity is easier to be recognized than the absence of coherence between the utterances, and their indicative failure is more serious 2.2 ERRORS OF COHERENCE 2.2.1 Concepts Example: (1)Our country’s history is noted with brilliant names of all times.(2)Ngô Quyền drove away the Han invaders (3)Nguyễn Huệ defeated the Quing invaders (4)Lê Lợi sent out the Yuan invaders (5) Chi Laêng Fort was a burial site for the invaders through the years (6)Then, Trần Hưng Đạo led our people to drive away the Minh invaders, to gain back our freedom (7)The event at Bạch Đằng river mouth was a magnificent victory (8) These names will always live with our country (Extracted from student’s essay) In this example, sentence (1) and (8) introduce and conclude the “country’s heroes”; the others are supporting sentences However, these supporting sentences are not chronologically arranged (sentences 2, 3, 4, 6); misleading (sentences 4, 6) and lacking in unity (sentences 5, 7) As a result, this paragraph is lack of coherence The survey shows that errors of coherence are found where writers/speakers not logically arrange the ideas, focus on one topic and support the main idea 2.2.2 Differentiation of incoherent and less coherent mistake 2.2.2.1 Mistake of incoherence If the successive sentences in a written text or the successive utterances in a spoken text not focus on one topic, they are considered “incoherent” However, the survey shows that this type of error does not happen The concept of “incoherent” in a spoken text usually indicates the temporary disorder of utterances made by deaf or mentally handicapped people 2.2.2.2 Mistake of less coherence A not very coherent expression can be found in the substandard use of words, or the weak building of sentences, paragraphs and text This leads to the fact that the text is not accurately expressive and loosely connected 2.3 SOME ERRORS OF LACK OF COHERENCE An analysis of the data shows some typical types of errors which affect the coherence of the text as follows Grammatical Introverted Sentence Semantic Informative Extroverted Referent Off-topic Logical Poorly supporting Paragraph Mixed Poorly connected Inaccurate Repeated Text Poorly expressive Patchy Run-on Confusing Fragmented Incohesive Chart 2.12: Types of errors: lack of coherence 2.3.1 Sentence errors Example: Vietnam’s letters and arts are a priceless treasure, where we can access top works of U art, chilling writings and super authors who win our respect and appreciation (extracted from student’s essay) U U U U U Writers’ artistic appreciation and use of words vary greatly Weak writers often make a lot of errors, among which are the use of polished words and wrong words, making the sentence a cliché Example: The dirtiness of the prison depicts the dirtiness of his spirit of never yielding to the attitude of a slave, which he overcame and curbed in a noble way (extracted from student’s essay) The choice and arrangement of words in the above sentence is very illogical, causing confusion and ambiguity Example: …The writer began with his epical song and ended also with the image of the Pinus khasya tree (extracted from student’s essay) U U U U U U In the above sentence, the words began, ended and also are not used accurately, so the sentence is not logical in its expression Some types of sentence errors (chart 2.3), as shown in the above examples, affect the coherence of the sentences They are lacking in coherence Generally speaking, sentences lacking in coherence are those which are ungrammatical, incomplete, illogical, ambiguous, etc 2.3.2 Paragraph errors A paragraph is an information unit contributing to the making of a text If a paragraph lacks coherence, the text lacks coherence, too Through the survey on students’ essays, we can identify some common paragraph errors that affect the coherence of a text 2.3.2.1 Off-topic development This type of error normally appears in the introduction, Following is an example Example: (1)Living in a society, people need to have a voluntary attitude towards the common tasks of the community (2)In a class discussion about the proverb “Fence the tree that gives you fruit”, some students totally agree on its message while others not (extracted from student’s essay) Sentence (1) is the general sentence that leads readers into sentence (2) However, sentence (2) does not develop the idea in sentence (1) 2.3.2.2 Inadequate development This type of error is rather common (64,5 ->81%) in students’ essays Example: (1)First, we can see that Kieàu was a kind-hearted woman (2) She had talents, beauty, and ethic (3) She ought to have lived in a comfortable life, yet she had to experience all the womanly sufferings and harships in the feudal times (extracted from student’s essay) The above example can be generalized with the formula A (a)= b + b’ In this formula, A is the topic sentence with a controlling idea (a), which is not developed Clearly, the development with b and b’does not support the controlling idea 2.3.2.3 Illogical development a Repetitive development Example: (1) The poem is about the soldiers in a distant and disadvantaged area of the country, and they are poor people (2) They not care anything, ignore all things and they are the ones with the same ideals, the same determination to protect the country (3) Despite all harships, they strive to fight for the country (extracted from student’s essay) All the above sentences focus on the same plight of the soliders; the repeated ideas make the paragraph lengthy and confusing b Confusing development Below is the statistics from 600 essays written by students of the 12th grade, processed by P P SPSS software Lengthy development (12th grade) P Frequenc Percen Valid y t Percent Cumulative Percent 16 2.7 2.7 2.7 132 22.0 22.0 24.7 127 21.2 21.2 45.8 >6 loi 325 54.2 54.2 100.0 Total 100.0 100.0 Vali 0->1 d P loi 2->3 loi 4->6 loi 600 The table shows that errors at level (4-6 errors) and level (over errors) account for over 75% This is a warning for the quality of student’s essays today Example: In the revolutionary war literature 1930 – 1945 is realism not only had a cold style but also a kind heart whih is the springboard of works of art, of realist characters and also of the roles of characters in any times (extracted from student’s essay) This paragraph has only one sentence It is extremely confusing due to the student’s lengthy and ambiguous expression c Non-focused development Expression: (1) Nguyeãn Du’s love for others is imbedded in the whole Kiều’s story.(2) In any extract in the textbook, he highlighted people’s dignity (3) Kieàu pitied her tortured father, so she had to sell herself to save him (4) This helps us understand the fate of a beautiful woman better (5) He felt sorry for Kieàu because she had to suffer from a lot of bad luck (6) We can better understand that beauty means sufferings (extracted from student’s essay) 2.3.2.4 Inaccurate development Example: The hidden beauty of the women who dedicate their lives to their families is the inspiration for Vietnamese authors of all times, such as Ms Dậu of Nam Cao and Thuý Kiều of Nguyễn Du However, the two famous poets in the literary school are Nguyễn Minh Châu and Kim Lân, who both wrote about women’s endurance in their two well-known works of art the only difference is the picked-up wife’s name is Thị, a middle name for women, while the other woman did not have a name, so her neighbors called her the woman of the fishing village (extracted from student’s essay) In this paragraph, there is inaccuracy in the information about Ms Dậu of Nam Cao, writers, poets and the use of words well-known and however (sentence connector to contrast the previous idea); the sentences are not logically arranged, so there is a lack of coherence 2.3.3 Text errors Through the survey, we identify some errors which reduce text coherence such as inadequate development, run-on paragraphs, fragmented paragraphs and unconnected sentences Among these, run-on paragraphs account for 80%, which seriously affect the coherence of the whole text In most essays of this type, the body consists of only one paragrahph Besides, some essays have fragmented paragraphs (17%) Example: The above four sentences of the poem describe the time when Viet Bac’s locals shared their lives with the soldiers The four sentences of the poem also describe the feelings and the nostalgia of Viet Bac’s locals for the departed soldiers With their deep sentiments, they missed the mountains when they saw the trees, and they missed the river when they saw the stream This verse is also a question for the departed soliders (extracted from student’s essay) The four paragraphs in the example above focus on one topic: the profound sentiments of Viet Bac’s locals for the soldiers However, due to the fragmented paragraphs, the focus is reduced Lack of connectedness between paragraphs can also lead to texts lacking in coherence Example: The Cricket is a favorite character of many readers He’s hard-working And the most lovely thing in him is his robust body, because he tries hard to keep fit We hardly accept the fact that he likes bullying and fighting against others The most shameful action of his is his joke on the Little Cormorant It is because of his mischief that the Skinny Cricket had to lose his life (extracted from student’s essay) 2.4 SUB CONCLUSION With an application of the basic therories of text coherence, the thesis explores 1000 high school students’ argumentative essays, focusing on the papers with the teachers’ remarks of “lacking in coherence” to identify and analyze errors of coherence The thesis analyzes the faulty extracts to specify the types of coherence errors; it goes further to clarify coherence, lack of coherence, and incoherence Each type of errors is analyzed so that students can identify and avoid it when they build a text CHAPTER 3: STANDARDS FOR COHERENCE IN ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 3.1 COHERENT ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS Based on the survey result of the students’ coherent essays, the thesis analyzes and generalizes the standards for essay coherence 3.1.1 Form of a coherent essay The coherence of an argumentative essay can be observed in its balanced form, clarity, connectedness and logic The essay’s form includes its layout, structure and expressions Reality shows that the organization of a coherent essay normally consists of three parts which are clearly balancedly structured A good organization can boost connectedness, especially in argumentative assays, and meet requirements of each type of essay In addition, a coherent essay is well handwritten, as indicated in the proverb “Good ideas and good hand writting go hand in hand” 3.1.2 Content of a coherent essay 3.1.2.1 Introduction In the introduction, writers usually introduce their topics in two ways: direct and indirect: In the direct way, writers go directly to the point; in the indirect way, writers mention something similar or opposite before revealing the topic Example: (1)Denis Diderot – a French writer –states: “Only passions, great passions can elevate the soul to great things.” (2)This is a great conception and it is suitable for all of us (3) In life, each person has his or her own passion, or goal, to look forward to, to develop and to improve himself or herself (4) Each person’s efforts depend on the goals he or she sets (extracted from student’s essay) Sentence (1) is the lead-in Sentence (2) is the writer’s argument Sentence (3) is the explanation Sentence (4) is the thesis statement This direct introduction is rarely off-topic Another way to write an introduction is to give brief information about the author, the background, the topic/main idea, some remarks, etc, and then narrow down to the thesis statement Example: “The old man and the sea” (1952) is a work of art which clearly depicts Hemingway’s style and artistic viewpoint In this short story, the author developed an image of a human in a hard struggle against the Ocean The persitent struggle of the old man Santiago against the ocean with his great aspiration, his outstanding victory and even his painful loss are the thought-provoking and obsessing symbols (extracted from student’s essay) 3.1.2.2 Body The body develops the topic with clarity, appropriateness, and balance In coherent argumentative essays, the body normally consists of the following: first, clear explanations, second, detailed analyses, and third, reasons and examples to support the points the writers want to make The body usually consists of some paragraphs; each paragraph deals with one major idea, which is logically supported Example: What is your opinion about the following statement: “Science without conscience is but the ruin of the soul” Some major ideas : - Explanation: Definition of science - Analyzing and proving: two trends of scientific development; examples of science with and without conscience; benefits of science with conscience and harms of science without science - Thesis statement: conscience is the solid foundation of science Example: Analyze Tô Hoài’s special description of the night Mị cut the rope to set A Phuû free in the story The Couple A Phuû to highlight the turning point in the characters’ life (A) “The Couple A Phủ” (Tô Hoài) is an outstanding short story of Vietnam’s literature in the struggle against French colonists […] (B) The event began with the winter nights in the mountains long and gloomy [ ] (C) The moment the fire “flashed”, A Phuû opened his eyes, but Mò still “indifferently breathed up the fire and warmed up her hands.[…] (D) The glimmering fire “flashed”again, and this time Mò recognized the tears running down A Phuû’s “hollow darkened cheeks” – the depression of a person dying in desperation.[…] (E) Then “the coal burned out” The potential fire inside her - like the hot coal in the ash – helped her get over her scare and built up her decision to rescue A Phuû […] (F) Immediately, the writer reverted the order of the next descriptive paragraph “Then Mò ran out It was a dark pitch night But Mò still pushed her way through” This is the right moment for Mò to cut the rope which tied her life […] All the sentences in the whole text are connected with each other by the cehesive devices in the paragraphs: began, flashed again, then, immediately, etc The sentences developed the event chronologically: winter nights -> the fire -> the fire flashed again -> the potential fire Through the description, the changing mood of the character Mò is sophisticatedly depicted: from indifferent and insensitive to sympathetic and sharing This analytical essay about an aspect of literature belonging to the genre of literary argumentation was evaluated “rather coherent” by the teacher 3.1.2.3 Conclusion Example: (1)“The frangrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose” is a good statement (2)It is both a piece of advice and a typical good quality that we need to have (3) We will become wonderful when we know how give our love sincerely and voluntarily (4)Life will be full of happy laughter when there are such beautiful souls (extracted from student’s essay) The development of the above paragraph is very logical Sentence (1) is the gerenal evaluation of the topic, which is a good statement Sentence (2) supports the remark with an explanation Sentence (3) broadens the value of the topic Sentence (4) concludes the topic with a learned lesson By exploring the conclusions of students’ argumentative essays, we can identify the typical order in the conclusions of argumentative essays as follows: giving an evaluation, assuring the positive side, broadening the value, and withdrawing a lesson It is this order that creates coherence for the conclusions Example: (1)The “Picked-up wife” has both realistic and humane values (2) Kim Laân is a very sophisticated and profound writer when he recognized the beauty deeply hidden in sufferings (3) Thanks to the writers like him, people seem always to be understood, sympathized and shared (4) The story “Picked-up wife” is a true success when it brings desperate people in a ragged life a ray of hope, a passion, a will to strive ahead despite fate.” (extracted from student’s essay) This conclusion in particular and some other conclusions of argumentative essays in general help us generalize the typical order in the conclusions of argumentative essays as follows: giving a remark on the work, evaluating the success of the writer’s success, broadening the value and withdrawing a general lesson In a word, a coherent essay needs to have a balanced organization, clear words, sentences, paragraphs on the foundation of the logical development of the topic 3.2 RELATIONSHIPS WHICH CREATE TEXT COHERENCE 3.2.1.Cohesive relationships In coherent texts, some cohesive devices like referents, demonstratives, conjunctions, obmisions, repetitions, etc, can be used When these cohesives devices are properly used, the phrases, sentences and paragraphs are logically connected Especially, in argumentative essays which focus on the relationships of arguments, the more logical the arguments are, the more persuasive the essays become In the above cohesive devices, conjunctions and sentence connectors are used the most frequently Some most common words/phrases are and, or, together with, but, then, in the meanwhile, similar to, besides, in additions, beside, moreover, like, etc; some idiomatic expressions like not only but also, like like ; the more/less the more/less , in genral in particular, etc, are used to connect two phrases, two sentences, or two parallel paragraphs; some connectors indicate the relationships of dependence: if then , although, in order to, whereas, thus, due to, consequently, nonetheless, on the contrary, in contrast, etc, are used to connect two sentences or two paragraphs which depend on or contrast each other; some referents (anaphora) like the former, the latter, the previous, the above, etc, are used to connect a sentence or paragraph with the previous sentence or paragraph, and antecedents (cataphora) like the following, as follows, in a word, the next, etc, are used to connect with a sentence or paragraph with the following sentence or paragraph Writers often combine the cohesive devices in a paragraph to create logic and vividness in a paragraph Example: “Laziness is a mother That mother has a thief son and a poverty daughter.”(Hugo) What is more, laziness is the cause of a dangerous disease in society: “idleness” This disease does not attack humans physically but it ruins both the awareness and behavior of the “patients” Recognizing its outragous harms, our predeccessors advise us to get rid of this bad habit by killing the “idleness” disease: “The word idleness can destroy our life U U 3.2.2 Semantic relationships One condition of a coherent argumentative essay is its clear and logical semantic content This can be achieved by the semantic relationships between the sentences and paragraphs in the text 3.2.2.1 Supplementary relationship The supplementary relationship is observed when the information units in the text are appropriate and complement each other Example: A highlight in the story “Picked-up wife” by Kim Lân is the image of Tràng taking a “picked-up wife”home in the “poverty-laden dakrness” of the year 1945 The daring choice of humans in such a situation was also the choice of the whole community: to live, to be human, and to overcome poverty and death This was a historic situation It can be said that the success of the “Picked-up wife” first lies in this situation of the story The above introduction of the essay has only four sentences, but they can generalize the story’s content clearly and logically 3.2.2.2 Contextual relationship There are broad and narrow contexts, which give readers clear and logical references 3.2.2.3 Logical relationship The logical relationship requires that all the sentences in a text be well-fitted, depicting the natural development in a logical order a Chronological relationship b Spatial relationship c Topical relationship Cohesive relationships are one of the devices which creates text coherence The logical arrangement of sentences and paragraphs and the topic-oriented development of ideas contribute to the coherence of a text It can be said that the consistent development of the topic is a criterion to evaluate text coherence According to D Nunan: Coherent texts/ discourse products are those which make meaningful generality 3.3 SUB CONCLUSION Through exploring the sample argumentative essays written by high school students and evaluated “coherent” by teachers, we itinially identify the characteristics of a coherent essay and the relationships which contribute to the coherence of this kind of text CONCLUSION The thesis inherits the research findings of theories of coherence by linguists at home and abroad, making it a springboard to further explore the coherence of high school students’ argumentative essays The data analysis of the essay errors shows the big gap between theory and practice We hope the findings of this thesis will be able to shorten this gap, encouraging students to study and apply these theories to their writing to improve their incoherent essays The thesis presents the basic issues about text, paragraphs, coherence, and cohesion in Vietnamese language in general and in high school students’ argumentative essays in particular In addition, the thesis analyzes the examples to illustrate the concepts of coherence; differentiate cohesion from coherence and emphasize the importance of cohesive devices as well as the impact of cohesion on a text’s coherence; compare and contrast the coherence of spoken texts with that of written texts to help students better understand coherence in communication Based on the recognized criteria, the thesis explores 1000 high school students’ argumentative essays to identify their errors of coherence On this foundation, the thesis differentiates a text with absence of coherence from a text with lack of coherence, to conclude that only lack of coherence, not absence of coherence, is found in students’ argumentative essays The thesis initially identifies coherence at some levels of a text With the reference to the basic theories of text coherence (chapter 1) when exploring the essays lacking in coherence (chapter 2) and the coherent essays (chapter 3), the thesis emphasizes some requirements for a good introduction, body and conclusion in a coherent essay The thesis, based on the theories and survey findings, also identifies some relationships which contribute to a coherent text In terms of form, the surface of a text, apart from meeting the requirements of clarity, writers can use some cohesive relationships to create text coherence In terms of content, the depth of a text, writers need to build up the semantic relationships in sentences, paragraphs and the whole text to create clarity and logic for the text In addition, the thesis emphasizes the importance of the outline because it contributes to a balanced, logical text The coherence in high school students’ argumentative essays results from the application of knowledge of language, society, literature and writers’ reasoning and arguing abilities Within the scope of a linguistic thesis, despite our efforts to apply knowledge of linguistics and of linguisticsrelated fields, we can only approach the most basic aspects of the topic There are some suggestions for further research: - Text coherence in all genres of essays - Specific criteria of coherent texts - Patterns of coherent texts We hope to be able to further our research on these fields ... HỌC SƯ PHẠM THÀNH PHỐ HỒ CHÍ MINH PHAN THỊ AI NHỮNG VẤN ĐỀ VỀ MẠCH LẠC VĂN BẢN TRONG BÀI LÀM VĂN CỦA HỌC SINH PHỔ THÔNG CHUYÊN NGÀNH: LÝ LUẬN NGÔN NGỮ Mã số: 62.22.01.01 LUẬN ÁN TIẾN SĨ NGỮ VĂN... MẠCH LẠC TRONG VĂN BẢN TẬP LÀM VĂN 118 2T T 3.1 VĂN BẢN TẬP LÀM VĂN MẠCH LẠC 118 2T T 3.1.1 Hình thức văn tập làm văn mạch lạc 120 T T 3.1.2 Nội dung văn tập làm văn mạch. .. tố tạo mạch lạc văn tập làm văn Luận án góp thêm liệu cho việc xác định khái niệm mạch lạc, lỗi diễn đạt thiếu mạch lạc làm văn, qua phân tích dạng lỗi mạch lạc làm văn học sinh trung học Những