The Thackery T Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities Exhibits, Oddities, Images, and Stories from Top Authors and Artists Edited by Ann & Jeff VanderMeer Dedication Dedicated to the memory of Kage Baker, a wonderful writer and a good friend of Dr Lambshead You are not forgotten Contents Cover Title Page Dedication Introduction: The Contradictions of a Collection: Dr Lambshead’s Cabinet Holy Devices and Infernal Duds: The Broadmore Exhibits The Electrical Neurheographiton —Minister Faust St Brendan’s Shank —Kelly Barnhill The Auble Gun—Will Hindmarch Dacey’s Patent Automatic Nanny—Ted Chiang Honoring Lambshead: Stories Inspired by the Cabinet Threads—Carrie Vaughn Ambrose and the Ancient Spirits of East and West—Garth Nix Relic—Jeffrey Ford Lord Dunsany’s Teapot—Naomi Novik Lot 558: Shadow of My Nephew by Wells, Charlotte—Holly Black A Short History of Dunkelblau’s Meistergarten—Tad Williams Microbial Alchemy and Demented Machinery: The Mignola Exhibits Addison Howell and the Clockroach—Cherie Priest Sir Ranulph Wykeham-Rackham, GBE, a.k.a Roboticus the All-Knowing—Lev Grossman Shamalung (The Diminutions)—Michael Moorcock Pulvadmonitor: The Dust’s Warning—China Miéville Additional text: caption for Jake von Slatt image in the introduction, “demonstrating the doctor’s commitment to the future,” copyright © 2011 Annalee Newitz; caption for “Bear Gun/Taxidermy Gun” at beginning of “A Brief Catalog” copyright © by Adam M i l l s “Disgruntled Artifacts” text attributed to Rikki Ducornet (with her permission) in “A Brief Catalog” copyright © 2011 Jeff VanderMeer In order of appearance in the anthology: “The Electrical Neurheographiton” copyright © 2011 by Minister Faust “St Brendan’s Shank” copyright © 2011 by Kelly Barnhill “The Auble Gun” copyright © 2011 by Will Hindmarch “Dacey’s Patent Automatic Nanny” copyright © 2011 by Ted Chiang “Threads” copyright © 2011 by Carrie Vaughn “Ambrose and the Ancient Spirits of East and West” by Garth Nix “Relic” copyright © 2011 by Jeffrey Ford “Lord Dunsany’s Teapot” copyright © 2011 by Naomi Novik “Lot 558: Shadow of My Nephew by Wells, Charlotte” copyright © 2011 by Holly Black “A Short History of Dunkelblau’s Meistergarten” copyright © 2011 by Tad Williams “Addison Howell and the Clockroach” copyright © 2011 by Cherie Priest “Sir Ranulph Wykeham-Rackham, GBE, a.k.a Roboticus the All-Knowing” copyright © 2011 by Lev Grossman “Shamalung (The Diminutions)” copyright © 2011 by Michael Moorcock “Pulvadmonitor: The Dust’s Warning” copyright © 2011 by China Miéville “The Very Shoe” copyright © 2011 by Helen Oyeyemi “The Gallows-horse” copyright © 2011 by Reza Negarestani “The Thing in the Jar” copyright © 2011 by Michael Cisco “The Singing Fish” copyright © 2011 by Amal El-Mohtar “The Armor of Sir Locust” copyright © 2011 by Stepan Chapman “A Key to the Castleblakeney Key” copyright © 2011 by Caitlín R Kiernan “Taking the Rats to Riga” copyright © 2011 by Jay Lake “The Book of Categories” copyright © 2011 by Charles Yu “Objects Discovered in a Novel Under Construction” copyright © 2011 by Alan Moore “1929: The Singular Taffy Puller” copyright © 2011 by N K Jemisin “1943: A Brief Note Pertaining to the Absence of One Olivaceous Cormorant, Stuffed” copyright © 2011 by Rachel Swirsky “1963: The Argument Against Louis Pasteur” copyright © 2011 by Mur Lafferty “1972: The Lichenologist's Visit” copyright © 2011 by Ekaterina Sedia “1995: Kneel” copyright © 2011 by Brian Evenson “2000: Dr Lambshead’s Dark Room” copyright © 2011 by S J Chambers “2003: The Pea” copyright © 2011 by Gio Clairval The flash fictions in “A Brief Catalog of Additional Items” are copyright © 2011 to the writer noted in parentheses at the end of each entry: Hugh Alter, Charlie Jane Anders, Julie Andrews, Christopher Begley, Jayme Lynn Blaschke, Nickolas Brienza, Tucker Cummings, Kaolin Imago Fire, Jess Gulbranson, Jennifer Harwood-Smith, Willow Holser, Rhys Hughes, Incognitum (aka Reza Negarestani), Paul Kirsch, Michael J Larson, Graham Lowther, Claire Massey, Tony Mileman, Adam Mills, Annalee Newitz, Ignacio Sanz, Steven M Schmidt, Grant Stone, Norman Taber (aka Dr Galubrious), Brian Thill, Nick Tramdack, Nicholas Troy, Tom Underberg, Horia Ursu, William T Vandemark, Kali Wallace, Tracie Welser, Amy Willats, Nadine Wilson, Ben Woodard Other Books by Ann & Jeff VanderMeer Best American Fantasy (with Matthew Cheney) Best American Fantasy (with Matthew Cheney) The New Weird Steampunk Fast Ships, Black Sails Last Drink Bird Head: Flash Fiction for Literacy The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals Steampunk Reloaded The Weird Books by Jeff VanderMeer FICTION Dradin, in Love The Book of Lost Places Veniss Underground City of Saints & Madmen Secret Life Shriek: An Afterword The Situation Secret Lives Predator: South China Sea Finch The Third Bear The Three Quests of the Wizard Sarnod NONFICTION AND ANTHOLOGIES Leviathan (with Luke O’Grady) Leviathan (with Rose Secrest) Leviathan (with Forrest Aguirre) Album Zutique The Thackery T Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases (with Mark Roberts) Why Should I Cut Your Throat? Booklife: Strategies & Survival Tips for the 21st Century Writer Monstrous Creatures: Explorations of Fantasy The Steampunk Bible (with S J Chambers) Copyright Credits serves as a continuation of the copyright page This book is a work of fiction The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental THE THACKERY T LAMBSHEAD CABINET OF CURIOSITIES Collection copyright © 2011 by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books FIRST EDITION Library of Congress Cataloging-inPublication Data has been applied for ISBN 978-0-06-200475-8 EPub Edition © JULY 2011 ISBN: 9780062109927 11 12 13 14 15 OV/RRD 10 About the Publisher Australia HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty Ltd 25 Ryde Road (P.O Box 321) Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia www.harpercollins.com.au/ebooks Canada HarperCollins Canada Bloor Street East - 20th Floor Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada http://www.harpercollins.ca New Zealand HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited P.O Box Auckland, New Zealand http://www.harpercollins.co.nz United Kingdom HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 77-85 Fulham Palace Road London, W6 8JB, UK http://www.harpercollins.co.uk United States HarperCollins Publishers Inc 10 East 53rd Street New York, NY 10022 http://www.harpercollins.com ...The Thackery T Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities Exhibits, Oddities, Images, and Stories from Top Authors and Artists Edited by Ann & Jeff VanderMeer Dedication Dedicated to the memory of. .. according to a scrawled note, “the full extent of a museum-quality cabinet of curiosities that will serve as a cathedral to the world, and be worthy of her.” Throughout the year, Lambshead ignored the... part of Lambshead s cabinet, claimed that “It became obvious from Thackery s notes that he was creating a kind of specialized Ark to survive the extermination of humankind, each item chosen to tell