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Chapter 15Going on Location: Placing Descriptions Correctly In This Chapter 䊳Placing even, only, almost, and similar words 䊳Avoiding misplaced, dangling, or confusing descriptions My out

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188 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons

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Chapter 15

Going on Location: Placing Descriptions Correctly

In This Chapter

Placing even, only, almost, and similar words

䊳Avoiding misplaced, dangling, or confusing descriptions

My out-of-town friends always tell me that I can buy a ten-room mansion for the price

of a closet in New York City My standard reply is that location is everything That statement is as true for descriptive words as it is for home prices Plop one in the wrong spot, and your meaning may sink like a stone

First, some definitions: Descriptions in English may be composed of one word or, if you like

to pour it on, twenty or more Regardless of length or form, descriptive elements fall into

one of two huge categories They belong in the adjective bin if they describe people, places, things, or ideas (in grammar terms, nouns or pronouns) The adverb family claims them if

they describe verbs (action or being words) or other descriptions Flip to Chapter 14 for a host of practice exercises with basic adjectives and adverbs

The general principle guiding the placement of descriptions is simple: Descriptive words should clearly relate to what they describe Some sentences give you a bit more leeway than others Move a descriptive word an inch and the meaning still comes across But a few words require precision

In this chapter you can practice that precision and, like a real estate agent, concentrate on location, location, location

Little Words Mean a Lot: Situating “Even,”

“Only,” and Similar Words

The other day I saw a tee shirt that made me want to turn my grammar book into a guided

missile The shirt declared that My Grandma went to NYC and only bought me this lousy tee

shirt Why, as a founding member of Grammarians Anonymous, was I upset? Because the

descriptive term only was misplaced The sentence as written means that Grandma did

nothing at all in NYC except buy one tee shirt — no theater, no walk in Central Park — just tee-shirt buying

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Even Mary knows that song (Mary generally sticks to talk radio, but the song is

so popular that she recognizes it.)

Mary knows even that song (Mary has 56,098 CDs She knows every musical work

ever written, including the one that the sentence is referring to.) Got the idea? Now take a look at the following sentences If you find a misplaced description, rewrite the sentence as it should be If everything is fine and dandy, write

“correct” in the blank

Q.My Uncle Fred only pays taxes when he’s in the mood or when the IRS serves an arrest warrant

A.My Uncle Fred pays taxes only when he’s in the mood or when the IRS serves an arrest

warrant The only has to move because it makes a comment on the conditions that make

Fred pay up (his mood and the times when the IRS puts him in the mood) This

descrip-tion should precede the condidescrip-tions it talks about The only is not a comment on pays, so

it’s out of place in the original

1 Because she was celebrating an important birthday, Ms Jonge only gave us ten hours of

homework

2 The first task nearly seemed impossible: to write an essay about the benefits of getting

older

3 After I had almost written two pages, my instant message beeped and I put my pen down.

4 I even figured that Ms Jonge, the meanest teacher on the planet, would understand the

need to take a break

5 I made a cup of coffee, but because I’m dieting, I only ate one doughnut and ignored the

other three that were silently shouting, “Eat me.”

190 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons

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6 My friend Eloise nearly gained three pounds last week just from eating glazed doughnuts.

7 Eloise, my brother, and I love doughnuts, but all of us do not eat them; Eloise can’t resist.

8 Eloise even draws the line somewhere, and she seldom munches a chocolate sprinkle

out-side of homework time

9 After I had sent a text message to Eloise, I returned to my homework and found I only had

five tasks left

10 Not all the work was boring, and I actually liked the history assignment.

11 I had to read two chapters about an empire that almost covered half the known world.

12 The conquerors even invaded countries that had superb defense systems.

13 The next day I was surprised to hear Ms Jonge comment that she had almost assigned

seven chapters before changing her mind

14 “I nearly love all children, except those who fight or scribble on their homework, and I

wanted to celebrate my birthday with a homework holiday,” she said

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15 I was startled to hear that Ms Jonge considers ten hours of homework a holiday, but I

know that she only wants what’s best for us

It Must Be Here Somewhere!

Misplaced Descriptions

If you’re at a car dealership and want to buy a new car from a sales associate with snow

tires, you’re in the right place Unfortunately, the description — with snow tires — is not,

because its current placement attaches it to sales associate and thus indicates a car guy

whose feet have been replaced by big round rubber things, not a vehicle you can drive confidently through a storm

This section deals with long descriptions (for the grammar obsessed: prepositional phrases, verbals, and clauses) that sometimes stray from their appointed path I cover short descriptions — simple adjectives and adverbs — in Chapter 14 To keep your descriptions legal, be sure that they’re very close to the word they describe

Except for a few place or time descriptions, nearly every multiword description directly fol-lows the word it describes, as in these sentences:

I want to buy a car with snow tires from a sales associate (The description with

snow tires describes car.)

The bread that Lulu baked yesterday is as hard as the rock of Gibraltar (That Lulu

baked yesterday refers to bread.)

The leaf shimmering in the sunlight bothers Jeff’s light-sensitive eyes (The expres-sion shimmering in the sunlight describes the leaf.)

These descriptions quickly become absurd if they move slightly (Imagine the sentence,

The bread is as hard as the rock of Gibraltar that Lulu baked yesterday See what I mean?)

When you move a misplaced description, take care not to make another error For example,

if I change I placed a stone in my pocket that I found in the playground to I placed a stone that

I found in the playground in my pocket, I have a problem In the original sentence, I found the

pocket in the playground In the changed sentence, I have a playground in my pocket The

solution is to place a description at the beginning of the sentence: In my pocket I placed a

stone that I found in the playground.

Check out the following sentences If all the descriptions are where they should be, write

“correct” in the blank If anything is misplaced, rewrite the sentence in the blanks provided,

dropping the description into the right spot Tip: In addition to moving descriptions, you

may have to reword here and there in order to create a sentence that makes sense

Q.Even before she passed the road test, Julie bought a leather license holder that was given only twice a month

192 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons

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A.Even before she passed the road test that was given only twice a month, Julie bought

a leather license holder The license holder is available all the time in a leather goods

store, but the test shows up only twice a month Move the description closer to test and

you’re all set

16 Julie passed the eye examination administered by a very near-sighted clerk with flying

colors

17 The written test inquired about maneuvers for cars skidding on ice.

18 Another question inquired about defensive driving, which required an essay rather than

a multiple-choice response

19 About a week after the written portion of the exam, the Department of Motor Vehicles

sent a letter giving Julie an appointment for the road test lacking sufficient postage

20 Julie asked her sister to drive her to the testing site before the letter arrived.

21 Julie’s examiner, a nervous man whose foot kept slamming onto an imaginary brake

pedal, constantly wrote notes on an official form

22 The first page contained details about Julie’s turning technique, which was single-spaced.

23 Julie hit only two pedestrians and one tree in the middle of a crosswalk.

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