Writting good or well 3 doc

Here are a couple of examples, with the introductory description italicized: Dazzled by the reflection from Tiffany’s new diamond ring, Lulu reached for her sunglasses.. The introductory

A.Even before she passed the road test that was given only twice a month, Julie bought

a leather license holder The license holder is available all the time in a leather goods

store, but the test shows up only twice a month Move the description closer to test and

you’re all set

16 Julie passed the eye examination administered by a very near-sighted clerk with flying

colors

17 The written test inquired about maneuvers for cars skidding on ice.

18 Another question inquired about defensive driving, which required an essay rather than

a multiple-choice response

19 About a week after the written portion of the exam, the Department of Motor Vehicles

sent a letter giving Julie an appointment for the road test lacking sufficient postage

20 Julie asked her sister to drive her to the testing site before the letter arrived.

21 Julie’s examiner, a nervous man whose foot kept slamming onto an imaginary brake

pedal, constantly wrote notes on an official form

22 The first page contained details about Julie’s turning technique, which was single-spaced.

23 Julie hit only two pedestrians and one tree in the middle of a crosswalk.

24 The examiner relaxed soon after Julie’s road test in his aunt’s house in Florida.

25 Julie wasn’t surprised to hear that she had failed her first road test, but the pedestrians’

lawsuit was a shock because the examiner had fainted when the speedometer hit 80

Hanging off a Cliff: Dangling Descriptions

The most common structure in an English sentence is subject (the person or thing you’re talking about) and verb (a statement of being or action about the subject), in that order This structure is a good workhorse to carry your meaning to the reader, but it’s a bit boring if overused To spice up your writing, you may begin some sentences with extra information — introductory descriptions that may resemble verbs but not actually be verbs (In official grammar terminology, they’re verbals Verbals can show up elsewhere in the sentence; in this section I’m just dealing with those that introduce sentences.) Usually a comma separates these introductory statements from the main portion of the sentence Here are a couple of examples, with the introductory description italicized:

Dazzled by the reflection from Tiffany’s new diamond ring, Lulu reached for her

sunglasses (The introductory description gives more information about Lulu.)

To block out all visible light, Lulu’s glasses have been coated with a special plastic

film (The introductory description gives more information about the glasses.)

A variation of this sort of introduction is a statement with an implied subject:

While wearing these glasses, Lulu can see nothing at all and thus constantly walks

into walls (The implied statement is While Lulu is wearing these glasses.)

All these introductory elements must follow one important rule: The subject of the

sen-tence must be what the introduction describes In the preceding examples, Lulu is the one who is dazzled, Lulu’s glasses are what blocks out light, and Lulu is the one who is wearing

the sunglasses

A common error is to detach the introduction from the subject, resulting in a sentence with

flawed logic, what grammarians call a dangling modifier or simply a dangler (English

thoughtfully supplies you with plenty of room for error Here I deal with faulty descriptions

at the beginning of a sentence If you want to avoid misplaced descriptions elsewhere in the sentence, check out the preceding section on misplaced description.) Here are some

dangers:

Perched on her nose, the stop sign was invisible to Lulu’s eyes.

Before buying them, the glasses carried a clear warning, which Lulu ignored.

In the first preceding sentence the stop sign is on her nose — not a pretty picture and also

Perched on her nose, Lulu’s glasses made the stop sign invisible.

Before buying them, Lulu read a warning about the glasses and chose to ignore it.

Check out these sentences for danglers and rewrite if necessary If everything is securely attached, write “correct” in the blank Your rewritten sentence may differ from the sug-gested answer No problem, as long as the introductory information refers to the subject

Q.After waiting for a green light, the crosswalk filled with people rushing to avoid Lulu and her speeding skateboard

A.After waiting for a green light, people rushed into the crosswalk to avoid Lulu and her

speeding skateboard In the original sentence, the crosswalk is waiting for a green light.

The rewritten sentence has the people waiting for an escape hatch from the sidewalk,

where Lulu is riding blind, thanks to her non-see-through sunglasses

26 To skateboard safely, kneepads help.

27 Sliding swiftly across the sidewalk, a tree smashed into Lulu.

28 Although bleeding from a cut near her nose ring, a change of sunglasses was out of the

question

29 To look fashionable, a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary.

30 While designing her latest tattoo, a small camera attached to the frames of her glasses

seemed like a good idea

31 Covered in rhinestones, Lulu made a fashion statement with her glasses.

32 Discussed in the fashion press, many articles criticized Lulu’s choice of eyewear.

33 Coming to the rescue, Tiffany swiped the offending glasses and lectured Lulu on the

irrele-vance of such fashion statements

34 To pacify Tiffany and the pedestrians’ lawyers, the glasses eventually went into the

trash can

35 Being reasonable, Lulu opted for a wraparound stainless steel helmet with UV protection.

Dazed and Confused: Vague Descriptions

If you’ve read the previous sections in this chapter, you already know that the general rule governing descriptions is that they should be near the word they’re describing If you place

a description an equal distance from two words it may describe, however, you present a puzzle to your reader Not a good idea! Check out this beauty:

Protesting successfully scares politicians

Which word does successfully describe? Protesting or scares? You can’t tell Now look

at these corrections:

Successful protests scare politicians

Protests scare politicians successfully

Which one should you use? It depends on what you want to say The point is that each of these sentences is clear, and clarity is a great quality in writing, if not in politics

Check out the following sentences and decide whether they’re clear or unclear If they’re clear, write “correct” in the blanks If not, rewrite them

Q.The senator speaking last week voted against the Clarity Bill

A.The senator speaking voted against the Clarity Bill last week Or, The senator who spoke last week is the one who voted against the Clarity Bill You may find still other

variations As long as your sentence indicates whether last week is attached to speaking

or voted, you’re fine.

36 Running a red light once earned a stiff fine.

37 Backing away from the traffic cop swiftly caused a reaction.

38 The ticket he got last summer was a blot on his spotless driving record.

39 The judge said when the case came to trial he would punish the drivers severely.

40 The warden of the driving-infraction division soon arrived on the scene.

41 Speaking to the driver forcefully made the point.

42 The driver charged with reckless driving recently went to court.

43 The driver education course redesigned a year ago won an award.

Calling All Overachievers: Extra Practice Placing Descriptions

Breathing deeply, check out this yoga instruction manual (see Figure 15-1), which, my

lawyer begs me to mention, does not describe real postures that a normal human body can achieve Do not try these positions at home, but do look for ten errors caused by vague,

misplaced, or dangling descriptions After you find the clunkers, correct them — cross out misplaced words, insert words by using carats, and revise sentences in the margins of this

book Note: The errors have several possible corrections, but in the answers section, I

show only one correction for each error

Yoga and Y’all: An Excerpt

If you only learn one yoga posture, this should be it Beginners can even do

it To form the “Greeting Turtle Posture,” the mat should extend from knees

to armpits freshly laundered and dried to fluffiness While bending the right

knee up to the nose, the left ankle relaxes You should almost bend the

knee for a minute before straightening it again Throw your head back now

extending each muscle to its fullest, only breathing two or three times

before returning the head to its original position Tucking the chin close to

the collarbone, the nose should wiggle Finally, raise the arms to the sky

and bless the yoga posture that is blue

Figure 15-1:

Sample instruction manual exercise