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hysterical/hilarious HYSTERICAL/HILARIOUS People say of a bit of humor or a comical situation that it was “hysterical”—shorthand for “hysterically funny”—meaning “hilarious.” But when you speak of a man being “hysterical” it means he is having a fit of hysteria, and that may not be funny at all. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/hysterical.html03/09/2005 15:38:22 I/me/myself/ I/ME/MYSELF In the old days when people studied traditional grammar, we could simply say, “The first person singular pronoun is “I” when it’s a subject and “me” when it’s an object,” but now few people know what that means. Let’s see if we can apply some common sense here. The misuse of “I” and “myself” for “me” is caused by nervousness about “me.” Educated people know that “Jim and me is goin’ down to slop the hogs,” is not elegant speech, not “correct.” It should be “Jim and I” because if I were slopping the hogs alone I would never say “Me is going. . . .” So far so good. But the notion that there is something wrong with “me” leads people to overcorrect and avoid it where it is perfectly appropriate. People will say “The document had to be signed by both Susan and I” when the correct statement would be, “The document had to be signed by both Susan and me.” Trying even harder to avoid the lowly “me,” many people will substitute “myself,” as in “The suspect uttered epithets at Officer O’ Leary and myself.” “Myself” is no better than “I” as an object. “Myself” is not a sort of all- purpose intensive form of “me” or “I.” Use “myself” only when you have used “I” earlier in the same sentence: “I am not particularly fond of goat cheese myself.” “I kept half the loot for myself.” All this confusion can easily be avoided if you just remove the second party from the sentences where you feel tempted to use “myself” as an object or feel nervous about “me.” You wouldn’t say, “The IRS sent the refund check to I,” so you shouldn’t say “The IRS sent the refund check to my wife and I” either. And you shouldn’t say “to my wife and myself.” The only correct way to say this is, “The IRS sent the refund check to my wife and me.” Still sounds too casual? Get over it. On a related point, those who continue to announce “It is I” have traditional grammatical correctness on their side, but they are vastly outnumbered by those who proudly boast “it’s me!” There’s not much that can be done about this now. Similarly, if a caller asks for Susan and Susan answers “This is she,” her somewhat antiquated correctness is likely to startle the questioner into confusion. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/myself.html03/09/2005 15:38:23 -ic -IC In the Cold War era, anti-socialists often accused their enemies of being “socialistic” by which they meant that although they were not actually socialists, some of their beliefs were like those of socialists. But the “-ic” suffix is recklessly used in all kinds of settings, often without understanding its implications. Karl Marx was not “socialistic,” he was actually socialist. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/-ic.html03/09/2005 15:38:23 idea/ideal IDEA/IDEAL Any thought can be an idea, but only the best ideas worth pursuing are ideals. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/idea.html03/09/2005 15:38:23 if/whether IF/WHETHER “If” is used frequently in casual speech and writing where some others would prefer “whether”: “I wonder if you would be willing to dress up as a giant turnip for the parade?” Revise to “I wonder whether. . . .” “If" can’t really be called an error, but when you are discussing two alternative possibilities, “whether” sounds more polished. (The two possibilities in this example are: 1) you would be willing or 2) you wouldn’t. In sentences using “whether” “or not” is often understood.) Don’t substitute the very different word “whither,” which means “where.” List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/if.html03/09/2005 15:38:24 if I were IF I WAS/IF I WERE The subjunctive mood, always weak in English, has been dwindling away for centuries until it has almost vanished. According to traditional thought, statements about the conditional future such as “If I were a carpenter . . .” require the subjunctive “were"; but “was” is certainly much more common. Still, if you want to impress those in the know with your usage, use “were.” The same goes for other pronouns: “you,” “she,” “he,” and “it.” In the case of the plural pronouns “we” and “they” the form “was” is definitely nonstandard, of course, because it is a singular form. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/were.html03/09/2005 15:38:26 ignorant IGNORANT STUPID A person can be ignorant (not knowing some fact or idea) without being stupid (incapable of learning because of a basic mental deficiency). And those who say, “That’s an ignorant idea” when they mean “stupid idea” are expressing their own ignorance. List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/ignorant.html03/09/2005 15:38:26 immaculate conception/virgin birth IMMACULATE CONCEPTION/VIRGIN BIRTH The doctrine of “immaculate conception” (the belief that Mary was conceived without inheriting original sin) is often confused with the doctrine of the “virgin birth” (the belief that Mary gave birth to Jesus while remaining a virgin). List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/immaculate.html03/09/2005 15:38:26 impact IMPACT One (very large) group of people thinks that using “impact” as a verb is just nifty: “The announcement of yet another bug in the software will strongly impact the price of the company’s stock.” Another (very passionate) group of people thinks that “impact” should be used only as a noun and considers the first group to be barbarians. Although the first group may well be winning the usage struggle, you risk offending more people by using “impact” as a verb than you will by substituting more traditional words like “affect” or “influence.” List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/impact.html03/09/2005 15:38:27 impertinent/irrelevant IMPERTINENT/IRRELEVANT “Impertinent” looks as if it ought to mean the opposite of “pertinent,” and indeed it once did; but for centuries now its meaning in ordinary speech has been narrowed to “impudent,” specifically in regard to actions or speech toward someone regarded as socially superior. Only snobs and very old- fashioned people use “impertinent” correctly; most people would be well advised to forget it and use “irrelevant” instead to mean the opposite of “pertinent.” List of errors file:///C|/Temp/livres/commonerrors/errors/impertinent.html03/09/2005 15:38:27