a translation quality assessment of the vietnamese version of the book harry potter and the order of the phoenix in the series harry potter

CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”... The writer has taken the translation versi

THANG LONG UNIVERSITY ENGLISH DEPARTMENT

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENTOF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THEBOOK “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER

OF THE PHOENIX” IN THE SERIESHARRY POTTER

Lecturer: Prof Phạm Thái Sơn Student: Nguyễn Kim Anh Code: A32996

HÀ NỘI – 2021

Comments and marking

Table of contents

1 INTRODUCTION……… 1

2 CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK1 What is translation? How many categories of translation? 2

2 Translation and the equivalence……….2

3 Translation methods……… 3

4 Translation procedures……… 5

3 CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”. 1.A bief analysis of the SL text………7

2.The translation’s method……… 7

3.Comparision of the translation with the original……….8

3.1 Omission and addition of ST to TT………8

List of abbreviations

ST: Source Text TT: Target Text

Nowadays, translation plays a very important role in life With the trend of international integration, translation is more popular However, the study and practice of translation is quite difficult and difficult Especially when translating literature, stories, novels Besides good quality translations, there are also poor translations, many errors and lack of expertise.

There are criteria for translation quality assessment which have been addressed by different linguists such as Nida, Newmark… From the writer’s point of view, Newmark’s model is a good one which can used in translation quality The writer has taken the translation version of the book “ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” by Nguyen Huu Dich in the series Harry Potter by J.K Rowling to measure how good the translation is Through the translation assessment, I want to draw more experience for me in the translation process to gain better skills.

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CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

1 What is translation? How many categories of translation?

The process of translation between two different written languages involves the changing of an original written text (the source text or ST) in the original verbal language (the source language or SL) into a written text (the target text or TT) in a different verbal language (the target language or TL) For example: He is a teacher – Anh ấy là giáo viên According to

Jakobson, in his famous essay, On Linguistic Aspects of Translation, Jakobson (1959)

distinguished three styles of translation as follows First, Intralingual translation – ‘an interpretation of verbal signs by means of other signs of the same language’ For example: head rest – pillow Second, Interlingual translation – ‘an interpretation of verbal signs by means of some other language’ For example: rubber – cục tẩy (my example) Third, Intersemiotic translation – ‘an interpretation of verbal signs by means of signs of non-verbal sign systems’ For example: “Call of the wild” - a story is translated into a different mode, such as film and painting.

2 Translation and the equivalence.

“Equivalence-oriented translation as a procedure which 'replicates the same situation as in the original, whilst using completely different wording' If this procedure is applied during the translation process, it can maintain the stylistic impact of the SL text in the TL text Jakobson follows the theory of language proposed by the famous Swiss linguist Saussure (1857–1913) Saussure distinguished between the linguistic system (langue) and specific individual utterances (parole) Central to his theory of langue, he differentiated between the ‘signifier’ (the spoken and written signal) and the ‘signified’ (the concept), which together create the linguistic ‘sign’ Jakobson then moves on to consider the thorny problem of equivalence in meaning between words in different languages, part of Saussure’s parole He points out that ‘there is ordinarily no full equivalence between code-units’ For Jakobson, cross-linguistic differences, which underlie the concept of equivalence, centre on obligatory grammatical and lexical forms: ‘Languages differ essentially in what they must convey and not in what they may convey’ For example: Absolute equivalence: it refers to universal factors For example: cửa sổ - window, bàn – table, tẩy – rubber Partial equivalence: it refers to cultural factors For example: phô mai – cheese, chị/em gái – sister.

When it comes to analyzing individual words, Nida describes various ‘scientific approaches to meaning’ related to work that had been carried out by theorists in semantics and pragmatics Central to Nida’s work is the move away from the old idea that a word has a fixed meaning and towards a functional definition of meaning in which a word ‘acquires’ meaning through its context and can produce varying responses according to culture Meaning is broken down into the following: Linguistic meaning: the relationship between different linguistic structures, borrowing elements of Chomsky’s model Nida provides examples to show how the meaning

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crucially differs even where similar classes of words are used For instance, the following three expressions with the possessive pronoun his all have different meanings: his house means ‘he possesses a house’, his journey equals ‘he performs a journey’ and his kindness is ‘kindness is a quality of him’ Referential meaning: the denotative ‘dictionary’ meaning Thus, son denotes a male child Emotive or connotative meaning: the associations a word produces So, in the phrase ‘Don’t worry about that, son’, the word son is a term of endearment or may in some contexts be patronizing.

Series of techniques, adapted from linguistics, is presented as an aid for the translator in determining the meaning of different linguistic items Techniques to determine referential and emotive meaning focus on analyzing the structure of words and differentiating similar words in related lexical fields.

There are two types of equivalences according to Nida First, Formal equivalence: Formal equivalence focuses attention on the message itself, in both form and content One is concerned that the message in the receptor language should match as closely as possible the different elements in the source language Second, Dynamic equivalence: Dynamic, later ‘functional’, equivalence is based on what Nida calls ‘the principle of equivalent effect’, where ‘the relationship between receptor and message should be substantially the same as that which existed between the original receptors and the message’.

3. Translation methods

Basing on dynamic of equivalence of Nid, Peter Newmark proposed 8 translation methods to the form of a flattened V diagram First, SL emphasis include in: Word-for-word translation, Literal translation, Faithful translation, Semantic translation Second, TL emphasis include in: Adaptation, Free translation, Idiomatic translation, Communicative translation Newmark shortly explain these translation methods as:

3.1 Word-for-word translation

This is often demonstrated as interlinear translation, with The TL immediately below the SL words The SL word-order is preserved and the words translated singly by their most common meanings, out of context Cultural words are translated literally The SL grammatical constructions are converted to their nearest TL equivalents but the lexical words are again translated singly, out of context The main use of word-for-word translation is either to understand the mechanics of the source language or construe a difficult text as a pre-translation process For examples: Facebook mặt sách Ngày mai tôi đi học Tomorrow

I go study, He is a small boy Anh ấy là một nhỏ cậu bé.

3.2 Literal translation

The SL grammatical constructions are converted to their nearest TL equivalents but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context For example: He looked up at the Milky Way

Anh ấy nhìn lên vào con đường màu sữa.

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3.3 Faithful translation

A faithful Translation attempts to reproduce the precise contextual meaning of the original within the constraints of the TL grammatical structures It attempts to be completely faithful to the intentions and the text-realization of the SL writer For examples: It rains cats and dogs.

Trời mưa những con mèo và những con chó Chúng tôi có thể nhìn thấy con sông Mekong uốn khúc qua những cảnh đồng bên dưới We could see the Mekong river winding its way through the plains below.

3.4 Semantic translation

It must take more account of the aesthetic value (that is, the beautiful and natural sounds of the SL text,) Further, it may translate less important cultural words by culturally neutral third or functional terms but not by cultural equivalents The distinction between 'faithful' and semantic' translation is that the first is uncompromising and dogmatic, while the second is more flexible Takes more account of the aesthetic value of the SL text than does faithful translation Examples: Coral reefs fringing the Okinawan islands just like a necklace can be seen only in warm and very clear water Những rặng san hô bao quanh các đảo vùng Okinawa giống như một chiếc vòng cổ nổi bật trên nền nước biển trong xanh.

3.5 Adaptation

This is the 'freest' form of translation It is used mainly for plays (comedies and poetry; the themes, characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture converted to the TL culture and the text rewritten For example: Lady Bird Tuổi nổi loạn.

3.6 Free translation

Free translation reproduces the matter without the manner, or the content without the form of the original The translator gets out of the limitations of the SL terms of forms and expressions to produce a new translation Usually it is a paraphrase much longer than the

3.7 Idiomatic translation

Reproduces the ‘message’ of the original but tends to distort nuances of meaning by preferring colloquialisms and idioms where these do not exist in the original This method is highly effective for the translation of idiom Examples: Like father like son – cha nào con đấy or It never rains but it pours – họa vô đơn chí.

3.8 Communicative translation

Communicative translation attempts to render the exact contextual meaning of the original that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership.

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4 Translation procedures

4.1 Literal

Newmark distinguishes the literal from the word-for-word and one-to-one translation Word-for-word translation transfers SL grammar and word-order, as well as the primary meanings of all the SL words into the translation, and is normally effective only for brief simple neutral sentences In one-to-one translation which is a broader form of translation, each SL word has a corresponding TL word, but their primary meaning may differ Since one-to-one translation normally respects collocational meanings, which exert the most powerful contextual influence on translation, it is commoner than word-for-word translation Literal translation goes beyond one-to-one translation, particularly applicable to languages that do not have definite and /or indefinite articles For example: She is ignoring me Cô ấy đang phớt lờ tôi or I can not swim Tôi không thể bơi

4.2 Naturalization

This procedure succeeds transference and adapts the SL word first to the normal pronunciation of the TL, then to its normal morphology Example: Thailand Thái Lan, Philipines Phi-lip-pin, ect

4.3 Transference

Transference (loan word, transcription, borrowing) is the process of transferring a SL word to a TL text as a translation procedure It also is normally transferred: names of all living (except

the Pope and one or two royals) and most dead people; geographical and topographical names including newly independent countries names of periodicals and newspapers; titles of as yet untranslated literary works, plays, films; names of private companies and institutions; names of public or nationalised institutions, unless they have recognised translations; street names, addresses, etc New technical terms that do not have equivalents in SL Example: Youtuber, Streamer, etc.

4.4 Modulation

Vinay and Darbelnet coined the term 'modulation' to define 'a variation through a change of viewpoint, of perspective and very often of category of thought' It is divided into 6 parts: Abstract >< Concrete, Positive >< Negative, Change of symbols, A part >< The whole, One part >< Another part and Active voice → Passive voice (and vice-versa)

4.5 Transposition (Shift)

Transposition or shift involves a change in the grammar from SL to TL The procedure gives natural expressions in the TL There are three types of shift One type, the change from singular to plural, or in the position of the adjective A second type of shift is required when

an SL grammatical structure does not exist in the TL Here there are always options Thus for 5

the neutral adjective as subject For example: We are out of stock of this shirt Chúng tôi

hết áo sơ mi này rồi ạ.

4.6 Through-translation

Through-translation is the literal translation of common collocations, names of organisations, the components of compounds and perhaps phrases (compliments of the season), is known as loan translation Example: United Nations World Food Programme Chương trình Lương thrc thế giới

4.7 Cultural equivalence

This is an approximate translation where an SL cultural word is translated by a TL cultural word This procedure helps bridge the cultural overlap between 2 languages Example: blood is thicker than water một giọt máu đào hơn ao nước lã

4.8 Functional Equivalence

This is also a common procedure, applied to cultural word of the SL required when the TL required a cultural free word or a new specific term in TL So, it neutralizes or generalizes the SL word When a culturally equivalent term in TL is not possible to find a cultural word of SL, this procedure is the most accurate way of translating Example: Open day Ngày chào đón các tân sinh viên đến tham quan trường.

4.9 Descriptive Equivalence

In translation, description gives clear images of SL concepts to the TL readers and the meaning of the SL word will be explained in several words Example: Áo tứ thân ( it is one of several traditional Vietnamese costumes, and it has four-part dress) (Source: Wikimedia)

4.10 Ouplets

The procedure combine two, three, four of the above procedures

respectively for dealing with a single problem Combination: transference/ naturalization/ cultural equivalent/ functional equivalent + descriptive , equivalent, etc

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CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”

1 A bief analysis of the SL text

Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J K Rowling The series were originally printed in English bt two major publishers, Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom and Scholastic Press in the United States The books later have been published by many publishers worldwide.

“Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix” is the fifth novel in the Harry Potter series It follows Harry Potter's struggles through his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, including the surreptitious return of the antagonist Lord Voldemort, O.W.L exams, and an obstructive Ministry of Magic The novel was published on 21 June 2003 by Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom, Scholastic in the United States, and Raincoast in Canada It sold five million copies in the first 24 hours of publication It is the longest book of the series

The novel has been translated into many languages, placing Rowling among the most translated authors in history The book has seen translations to diverse languages In Vietnam, the novel was translated directly by Ly Lan, besides, the novel is also translated into another one by Nguyen Huu Dich

The novel’s initial target audience was children, more speacifically, young adult readers of fantasy In brief, the readers that the novel aims at the people of all ages who are interested in fantasy The novel falls within the genre of fantasy literature; however, in many respects it also contains elements of mystery, adventure, thriller, and romance The story is told from a third person’s point of view with very few exceptions

2 The translator’s method

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a novel, which contains elements of

mystery, advanture, thriller, and romance In this novel, there are a lot of incantations, places, and monsters in magic world As a result, translators are

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required to have a wealth of interesting knowledge about culture, history, and art This can be seen in the Vietnamese version of Harry Potter and the Order of the

Phoenix translated by Nguyen Huu Dich In this translation, he has used semantic

translation method Besides, this is a long novel and the complexity of word structure is inevitable Therefore, the translator has to combine several methods of translation with a main method In this novel, literal translation and faithful translation methods are also utilized.

3 Comparison of the translation with the original3.1 Omission and addition of the ST to TT

Comparing the translation version with the original version “Harry Potter and theOrder of the Phoenix”, in chapter three “The advanced guard”, the translator omits some sentences and adds some details that do not appear in the origin as below:

Original

Harry copied these words on to three separate pieces of

parchment the moment he reached the desk in his dark bedroom.

Harry chép lại những từ đó vào ba tấm da dê ngay khi nó về đến phòng ngủ.

His back ached from hauling Dudley home, and the two lumps on his head where the window

and Dudley had hit him were throbbing painfully

Lưng nó mỏi nhừ khi phải đỡ Dudley về nhà, và hai cục u của

It can be referred that the omission of the section in the translation version is not so important that the reader can still understand the whole message without them Besides, the TT is often added some comments and several details by the translator The translator’s purpose is to explain or provide additional information for the readers, so they can

Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles

It can be seen that the title of the book in the TT which seems not to have the same literal meaning with the one in the ST In the ST, the title is “ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” while in the TT, the title is translated into Vietnam version “ Harry Potter và Hội Phượng Hoàng” If the sentence were translated by literal method, it would be “ Mệnh lệnh Phượng Hoàng”; however, “the Order of the Phoenix” was the name of a group that Dumbledore established to fight against Lord Voldemort It is the reason why the translator uses the title Harry Potter và Hội Phượng Hoàng lại đầy ghê rợn và hăm doạ xuyên suốt căn bếp?

2 He kicked his school trunk as he passed it, but far from relieving his anger he felt worse, as he now had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in the rest of his body.

Nó sút vào valy đrng hành lý đi học của nó khi nó đi ngang qua, nhưng cơn giận dữ của nó càng dịu thì lại nó lại càng cảm thấy tệ hại hơn nhiều, khi mà bây

Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost

Ngay khi nó vừa khập khiểng đi qua cửa sổ, Hedwig sà vào như một bóng ma nhỏ, cánh nó phát ra những tiếng xào xạt.

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