a translation quality assessment of the vietnamese version of the book harry potter and the order of the phoenix in the series harry potter

CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”... The writer has taken the translation versi

THANG LONG UNIVERSITY

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT

A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT

OF THE VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE BOOK “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER

OF THE PHOENIX” IN THE SERIES

HARRY POTTER

Lecturer: Prof Phạm Thái Sơn

Student: Nguyễn Kim Anh

Code: A32996

HÀ NỘI – 2021

Comments and marking

Table of contents

1 INTRODUCTION……… 1

2 CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK 1 What is translation? How many categories of translation? 2

2 Translation and the equivalence……….2

3 Translation methods……… 3

4 Translation procedures……… 5

3 CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”. 1.A bief analysis of the SL text………7

2.The translation’s method……… 7

3.Comparision of the translation with the original……….8

3.1 Omission and addition of ST to TT………8

3.2 The title……… 8

3.3 The structure……… 9

3.4 Proper names……….10

3.5 The weakness of the translation………10

4 CONCLUSION……… 14 REFERENCES

APPENDICES

List of abbreviations

ST: Source Text

TT: Target Text

There are criteria for translation quality assessment which have been addressed

by different linguists such as Nida, Newmark… From the writer’s point of view,Newmark’s model is a good one which can used in translation quality The writer hastaken the translation version of the book “ Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”

by Nguyen Huu Dich in the series Harry Potter by J.K Rowling to measure how goodthe translation is Through the translation assessment, I want to draw more experiencefor me in the translation process to gain better skills

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CHAPTER 1: THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

1 What is translation? How many categories of translation?

The process of translation between two different written languages involves the changing of

an original written text (the source text or ST) in the original verbal language (the sourcelanguage or SL) into a written text (the target text or TT) in a different verbal language (thetarget language or TL) For example: He is a teacher – Anh ấy là giáo viên According to

Jakobson, in his famous essay, On Linguistic Aspects of Translation, Jakobson (1959)

distinguished three styles of translation as follows First, Intralingual translation – ‘aninterpretation of verbal signs by means of other signs of the same language’ For example:head rest – pillow Second, Interlingual translation – ‘an interpretation of verbal signs bymeans of some other language’ For example: rubber – cục tẩy (my example) Third,Intersemiotic translation – ‘an interpretation of verbal signs by means of signs of non-verbalsign systems’ For example: “Call of the wild” - a story is translated into a different mode,such as film and painting

2 Translation and the equivalence.

“Equivalence-oriented translation as a procedure which 'replicates the same situation as in theoriginal, whilst using completely different wording' If this procedure is applied during thetranslation process, it can maintain the stylistic impact of the SL text in the TL text Jakobsonfollows the theory of language proposed by the famous Swiss linguist Saussure (1857–1913).Saussure distinguished between the linguistic system (langue) and specific individualutterances (parole) Central to his theory of langue, he differentiated between the ‘signifier’(the spoken and written signal) and the ‘signified’ (the concept), which together create thelinguistic ‘sign’ Jakobson then moves on to consider the thorny problem of equivalence inmeaning between words in different languages, part of Saussure’s parole He points out that

‘there is ordinarily no full equivalence between code-units’ For Jakobson, cross-linguisticdifferences, which underlie the concept of equivalence, centre on obligatory grammatical andlexical forms: ‘Languages differ essentially in what they must convey and not in what theymay convey’ For example: Absolute equivalence: it refers to universal factors For example:cửa sổ - window, bàn – table, tẩy – rubber Partial equivalence: it refers to cultural factors Forexample: phô mai – cheese, chị/em gái – sister

When it comes to analyzing individual words, Nida describes various ‘scientific approaches tomeaning’ related to work that had been carried out by theorists in semantics and pragmatics.Central to Nida’s work is the move away from the old idea that a word has a fixed meaningand towards a functional definition of meaning in which a word ‘acquires’ meaning throughits context and can produce varying responses according to culture Meaning is broken downinto the following: Linguistic meaning: the relationship between different linguistic structures,borrowing elements of Chomsky’s model Nida provides examples to show how the meaning

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crucially differs even where similar classes of words are used For instance, the followingthree expressions with the possessive pronoun his all have different meanings: his housemeans ‘he possesses a house’, his journey equals ‘he performs a journey’ and his kindness is

‘kindness is a quality of him’ Referential meaning: the denotative ‘dictionary’ meaning.Thus, son denotes a male child Emotive or connotative meaning: the associations a wordproduces So, in the phrase ‘Don’t worry about that, son’, the word son is a term ofendearment or may in some contexts be patronizing

Series of techniques, adapted from linguistics, is presented as an aid for the translator indetermining the meaning of different linguistic items Techniques to determine referential andemotive meaning focus on analyzing the structure of words and differentiating similar words

in related lexical fields

There are two types of equivalences according to Nida First, Formal equivalence: Formalequivalence focuses attention on the message itself, in both form and content One isconcerned that the message in the receptor language should match as closely as possible thedifferent elements in the source language Second, Dynamic equivalence: Dynamic, later

‘functional’, equivalence is based on what Nida calls ‘the principle of equivalent effect’,where ‘the relationship between receptor and message should be substantially the same as thatwhich existed between the original receptors and the message’

3. Translation methods

Basing on dynamic of equivalence of Nid, Peter Newmark proposed 8 translationmethods to the form of a flattened V diagram First, SL emphasis include in: Word-for-wordtranslation, Literal translation, Faithful translation, Semantic translation Second, TL emphasisinclude in: Adaptation, Free translation, Idiomatic translation, Communicative translation.Newmark shortly explain these translation methods as:

3.1 Word-for-word translation

This is often demonstrated as interlinear translation, with The TL immediately below the SLwords The SL word-order is preserved and the words translated singly by their most commonmeanings, out of context Cultural words are translated literally The SL grammaticalconstructions are converted to their nearest TL equivalents but the lexical words are againtranslated singly, out of context The main use of word-for-word translation is either tounderstand the mechanics of the source language or construe a difficult text as a pre-translation process For examples: Facebook mặt sách Ngày mai tôi đi học Tomorrow

I go study, He is a small boy Anh ấy là một nhỏ cậu bé

3.3 Faithful translation

A faithful Translation attempts to reproduce the precise contextual meaning of the originalwithin the constraints of the TL grammatical structures It attempts to be completely faithful

to the intentions and the text-realization of the SL writer For examples: It rains cats and dogs.

Trời mưa những con mèo và những con chó Chúng tôi có thể nhìn thấy con sông Mekonguốn khúc qua những cảnh đồng bên dưới We could see the Mekong river winding its waythrough the plains below

3.5 Adaptation

This is the 'freest' form of translation It is used mainly for plays (comedies and poetry;the themes, characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture converted to the TLculture and the text rewritten For example: Lady Bird Tuổi nổi loạn

3.6 Free translation

Free translation reproduces the matter without the manner, or the content without the form ofthe original The translator gets out of the limitations of the SL terms of forms andexpressions to produce a new translation Usually it is a paraphrase much longer than the

original

3.7 Idiomatic translation

Reproduces the ‘message’ of the original but tends to distort nuances of meaning bypreferring colloquialisms and idioms where these do not exist in the original This method ishighly effective for the translation of idiom Examples: Like father like son – cha nào conđấy or It never rains but it pours – họa vô đơn chí

3.8 Communicative translation

Communicative translation attempts to render the exact contextual meaning of the original that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership

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4 Translation procedures

4.1 Literal

Newmark distinguishes the literal from the word-for-word and one-to-one translation.Word-for-word translation transfers SL grammar and word-order, as well as the primarymeanings of all the SL words into the translation, and is normally effective only for briefsimple neutral sentences In one-to-one translation which is a broader form of translation,each SL word has a corresponding TL word, but their primary meaning may differ Since one-to-one translation normally respects collocational meanings, which exert the most powerfulcontextual influence on translation, it is commoner than word-for-word translation Literaltranslation goes beyond one-to-one translation, particularly applicable to languages that donot have definite and /or indefinite articles For example: She is ignoring me Cô ấy đangphớt lờ tôi or I can not swim Tôi không thể bơi

4.2 Naturalization

This procedure succeeds transference and adapts the SL word first to the normal pronunciation of the TL, then to its normal morphology Example: Thailand Thái Lan, Philipines Phi-lip-pin, ect

4.3 Transference

Transference (loan word, transcription, borrowing) is the process of transferring a SL word to

a TL text as a translation procedure It also is normally transferred: names of all living (except

the Pope and one or two royals) and most dead people; geographical and topographical namesincluding newly independent countries names of periodicals and newspapers; titles of as yet untranslated literary works, plays, films; names of private companies and institutions; names

of public or nationalised institutions, unless they have recognised translations; street names, addresses, etc New technical terms that do not have equivalents in SL Example: Youtuber, Streamer, etc

4.4 Modulation

Vinay and Darbelnet coined the term 'modulation' to define 'a variation through achange of viewpoint, of perspective and very often of category of thought' It is divided into 6parts: Abstract >< Concrete, Positive >< Negative, Change of symbols, A part >< The whole,One part >< Another part and Active voice → Passive voice (and vice-versa)

4.5 Transposition (Shift)

Transposition or shift involves a change in the grammar from SL to TL The procedure gives natural expressions in the TL There are three types of shift One type, the change from singular to plural, or in the position of the adjective A second type of shift is required when

an SL grammatical structure does not exist in the TL Here there are always options Thus for

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the neutral adjective as subject For example: We are out of stock of this shirt Chúng tôi

hết áo sơ mi này rồi ạ.

4.6 Through-translation

Through-translation is the literal translation of common collocations, names of

organisations, the components of compounds and perhaps phrases (compliments of the season), is known as loan translation Example: United Nations World Food Programme Chương trình Lương thrc thế giới

4.7 Cultural equivalence

This is an approximate translation where an SL cultural word is translated by a TL cultural word This procedure helps bridge the cultural overlap between 2 languages Example: blood is thicker than water một giọt máu đào hơn ao nước lã

4.8 Functional Equivalence

This is also a common procedure, applied to cultural word of the SL required when the TLrequired a cultural free word or a new specific term in TL So, it neutralizes or generalizes the

SL word When a culturally equivalent term in TL is not possible to find a cultural word of

SL, this procedure is the most accurate way of translating Example: Open day Ngày chàođón các tân sinh viên đến tham quan trường

4.9 Descriptive Equivalence

In translation, description gives clear images of SL concepts to the TL readers and the meaning of the SL word will be explained in several words Example: Áo tứ thân ( it is one ofseveral traditional Vietnamese costumes, and it has four-part dress) (Source: Wikimedia)

4.10 Ouplets

The procedure combine two, three, four of the above procedures

respectively for dealing with a single problem Combination: transference/ naturalization/ cultural equivalent/ functional equivalent + descriptive , equivalent, etc

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CHAPTER 2: APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF CHAPTER THREE OF “HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX”

1 A bief analysis of the SL text

Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J K.Rowling The series were originally printed in English bt two major publishers,Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom and Scholastic Press in the United States Thebooks later have been published by many publishers worldwide

“Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix” is the fifth novel in the Harry Potterseries It follows Harry Potter's struggles through his fifth year at Hogwarts School

of Witchcraft and Wizardry, including the surreptitious return of theantagonist Lord Voldemort, O.W.L exams, and an obstructive Ministry of Magic.The novel was published on 21 June 2003 by Bloomsbury in the UnitedKingdom, Scholastic in the United States, and Raincoast in Canada It sold fivemillion copies in the first 24 hours of publication It is the longest book of theseries

The novel has been translated into many languages, placing Rowling among themost translated authors in history The book has seen translations to diverselanguages In Vietnam, the novel was translated directly by Ly Lan, besides, thenovel is also translated into another one by Nguyen Huu Dich

The novel’s initial target audience was children, more speacifically, young adultreaders of fantasy In brief, the readers that the novel aims at the people of all ageswho are interested in fantasy The novel falls within the genre of fantasy literature;however, in many respects it also contains elements of mystery, adventure, thriller,and romance The story is told from a third person’s point of view with very fewexceptions

2 The translator’s method

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a novel, which contains elements of

mystery, advanture, thriller, and romance In this novel, there are a lot ofincantations, places, and monsters in magic world As a result, translators are

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required to have a wealth of interesting knowledge about culture, history, and art.This can be seen in the Vietnamese version of Harry Potter and the Order of the

Phoenix translated by Nguyen Huu Dich In this translation, he has used semantic

translation method Besides, this is a long novel and the complexity of wordstructure is inevitable Therefore, the translator has to combine several methods oftranslation with a main method In this novel, literal translation and faithfultranslation methods are also utilized

3 Comparison of the translation with the original

3.1 Omission and addition of the ST to TT

Comparing the translation version with the original version “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”, in chapter three “The advanced guard”, the translatoromits some sentences and adds some details that do not appear in the origin asbelow:

Original

Harry copied these words on to

three separate pieces of

parchment the moment he

reached the desk in his dark

bedroom.

Harry chép lại những từ đó vào

ba tấm da dê ngay khi nó về đến phòng ngủ

His back ached from hauling

Dudley home, and the two lumps

on his head where the window

and Dudley had hit him were

throbbing painfully

Lưng nó mỏi nhừ khi phải đỡ Dudley về nhà, và hai cục u của

nó chỗ cánh cửa sổ và nắm đấm của Dudley nện vào đang đau nhói.

Table 1: Omission and addition in the

translation

It can be referred that the omission of the section in the translationversion is not so important that the reader can still understand thewhole message without them Besides, the TT is often added somecomments and several details by the translator The translator’s purpose is

to explain or provide additional information for the readers, so they canunderstand better

3.2 The title

Original version Translation version

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Title of the

book

Harry Potter and the Order

of the Phoenix

Harry Potter

và Hội Phượng Hoàng

Title of chapter

three

The advanced guard

Đội bảo vệ đặc biệt

Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles

It can be seen that the title of the book in the TT which seems not to have the same literalmeaning with the one in the ST In the ST, the title is “ Harry Potter and the Order of thePhoenix” while in the TT, the title is translated into Vietnam version “ Harry Potter và HộiPhượng Hoàng” If the sentence were translated by literal method, it would be “ Mệnh lệnhPhượng Hoàng”; however, “the Order of the Phoenix” was the name of a group thatDumbledore established to fight against Lord Voldemort It is the reason why the translatoruses the title Harry Potter và Hội Phượng Hoàng

Giọng của ai đã vẳng lại đầy ghê rợn và hăm doạ xuyên suốt căn bếp?

2 He kicked his school

trunk as he passed it, but far from relieving his anger he felt worse, as henow had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in therest of his body

Nó sút vào valy đrnghành lý đi học của nókhi nó đi ngang qua,nhưng cơn giận dữ của

nó càng dịu thì lại nólại càng cảm thấy tệ hạihơn nhiều, khi mà bâygiờ nó có thêm nhữngvết thương bén nhọn ởngón chân để thêm vàonhững vết thương ởphần còn lại của cơ thểnó

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Just as he limped past thewindow, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost

Ngay khi nó vừa khập khiểng đi qua cửa sổ, Hedwig sà vào như mộtbóng ma nhỏ, cánh nó phát ra những tiếng xàoxạt

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