Objective of the study
This study aims to make a comparison and analyze the ST and the TT according to Newmark‟s model to assess the quality of the Vietnamese translation of chapter seven in the book “’Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone”, find out some problems of literary translations and draw some suggestions for this field of translation.
Research questions
At the end of this study, the study will answer the following questions:
- How good is the Vietnamese version of chapter seven of the book
“Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” according to Newmark’s model?
- What might be some implications from the translation?
Scope of the study
Harry Potter is a famous series all over the world It includes seven books corresponding seven adventures of Harry Potter in Hogwarts – school of wizardry Since the release of the first novel, “Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone”, the books have gained immense popularity, critical acclaim and commercial success worldwide The series has been translated into 67 languages, placing Rowling among the most translated authors in history With such a limit set out at the beginning of the study, all the analysis and comparison between the ST and the TT is only restricted in chapter seven of the book As referred to earlier, Newmark‟s model is adopted to assess the quality of the translation in this research.
Method of the study
The research utilizes qualitative design Moreover, descriptive and contrastive techniques are employed to evaluate the translation text The original text will be read thoroughly and comprehensively then the ST will be compared to its translation according to five steps of Newmark‟s model:
1 A brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects
2 The translator's interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and the translation‟s likely readership
3 A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original
4 The evaluation of the translation: (a) in the translator‟s term, (b) in the critic‟s term
5 Where appropriate, an assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline
Organization of the study
The study is presented in 3 parts:
Part A is the introduction which includes the rationale for the study, the objective, the research questions, the scope, the method as well as the organization of the study
Part B includes 2 chapters In chapter one, the Literature Review in which some related concepts of literary translation, contrastive analysis and typical models of translation quality assessment are discussed In the second chapter, the writer will apply Newmark‟s model with five steps to analyze and evaluate the translation
Part C is the conclusion including the conclusions, implications, limitations and suggestions for further study.
LITERATURE REVIEW 1.1 Translation Theory
Definition of Translation
There have been different definitions of translation so far According to Newmark (1981) “translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written message and/or statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language” House (1977) states that translation is the replacement of a text in the source language by a semantically and pragmatically equivalent text in the target language Sharing the same point of view, Cartford (1965) defines translation as the replacement of a text in one language (source language) by an equivalent in another language (target language) The definitions of translation are diverse; however, they all share the same sense that translation does not refer to language as a system but language in use Furthermore, the preservation of semantic, pragmatic and textual aspects of meaning across two different languages needs emphasizing in translation.
Translation Methods
Basing on Newmark‟s classification, there are eight methods in translating as follow
Word-for-word translation Adaptation Literal translation Free translation Faithful translation Idiomatic translation Semantic translation Communicative translation
- Word for word translation: The SL word is translated into another language by their most common meanings, which can be out of context at times
- Literal translation: The SL grammatical constructions are translated to their nearest TL but the lexical words are translated singly, out of context
- Faithful translation: The SL text is reproduced in its precise contextual meaning under the constraints of the TL grammatical structures
- Semantic translation: is the process of using semantic information to aid in translation of data in one representation to another representation Semantic translation refers to that type of translation which takes into account the aesthetic value of the SL text
- Adaption: The text is rewritten considering the SL culture which is converted to the TL where the themes, characters and plots are preserved
- Free translation: It reproduces the matter without the manner or the content without the form of the original
- Idiomatic translation: It reproduces the „message‟ of the original and prefers colloquialisms and idioms which do not exist in the original
- Communicative translation: The exact contextual meaning of the original is rendered in such a way that both content and language are readily acceptable and comprehensible to the readership
Among the above-mentioned methods, semantic and communicative translation are the two most common ones which are often used in literary translation.
Translation Equivalence
In translation theory, equivalence is regarded as a central concept
According to Pym (1992) “equivalence is supposed to define translation, and translation, in turn, defines equivalence” Equivalence is a relationship between two texts in two languages, rather than between the languages themselves
From Nida‟s point of view, there are two typical equivalences, namely formal equivalence and dynamic equivalence The terms "dynamic equivalence" and "formal equivalence" were originally coined to describe ways of translating the Bible, but the two approaches are applicable to any translation of any text The first one centers on the form and content of the message of the ST whereas dynamic equivalence is the "quality of a translation in which the message of the original text has been so transported into the receptor language that the response of the receptor is essentially like that of the original receptors."
Baker (1992) extends the concept of equivalence to cover similarity in
ST and TT information flow and in the cohesive roles that ST and TT devices play in their respective texts She explores equivalence at different levels in relation to the translation process such as grammatical, textual and pragmatic aspects Equivalence can appear at word level and above word level, when translating from one language into another Concerning grammatical equivalence, she notes that grammatical rules may vary across languages and this may pose some problems in terms of finding a direct correspondence in the TL Among these grammatical devices which might cause problems in translation Baker focuses on number, tense and aspects, voice, person and gender With regard to textual equivalence, it refers to the equivalence between a SL text and a TL text in terms of information and cohesion
Texture is a very important feature in translation since it provides useful guidelines for the comprehension and analysis of the ST which can help the translator in his or her attempt to produce a cohesive and coherent text for the
TC audience in a specific context Finally, pragmatic equivalence refers to implicatures and strategies of avoidance during the translation process
Koller (1979) categorizes equivalence into five types According to the scholar, there are five factors which can be argued to play a relevant role in the specification of equivalence type These five factors are also the five types of equivalence The first one is denotative equivalence in which the SL and
TL words refer to the same thing in the real world This is the referential identity between SL and TL units Besides denotative value, SL and TL words should produce the same communicative values in the mind of native speakers of the two languages or the equivalence transmitted by specific choices between synonymous expressions with respect to level of style (register), the social and geographical dimension, frequency, etc It is called connotative equivalence The third type is text-normative equivalence in which The SL and TL words using the same or similar text types in their respective languages Fourthly, the receiver/ reader to whom the translation is directed so as to achieve an intended effect determines pragmatic equivalence type The last type is formal equivalence in which the SL and TL having the same formal-aesthetic features-orthographic or phonological features, etc.
Contrastive Analysis
Contrastive Analysis has attracted many linguists with countless debates One of the most well-known definitions for contrastive analysis is offered by Lado, R In Linguistics Across Cultures He claimed that "those elements which are similar to [the learner's] native language will be simple for him, and those elements that are different will be difficult" (1957)
Another definition is introduced by James (1980) In his point of view, contrastive analysis is not concerned with classification, and, as the term contrastive implies, it focuses on the difference between languages than in their likenesses Furthermore, contrastive analysis investigates the differences between pairs (or small sets) of languages against the background of similarities and with the purpose of providing input to applied disciplines such as foreign language teaching and translation studies With its largely descriptive focus contrastive linguistics provides an interface between theory and application It makes use of theoretical findings and models of language description but is driven by the objective of applicability (Gast, V 2011)
Contrastive analysis, therefore, is defined as a linguistic enterprise aimed at producing inverted two-valued typologies (it is always concerned with a pair of languages), and founded on the assumption that languages can be compared.
Translation Quality Assessment
Newmark (1995) regards translation criticism or translation quality assessment as a crucial link between translation theory and its practice and as
“the keystone of any course in comparative literature, or literature in translation, and a component of any professional translation course with the appropriate text-types as an exercise for criticism and discussion” There is a variety of definition on translation criticism According to McAlester(1999),
“translation criticism consists in stating the appropriateness of a translation, which naturally also implies a value judgment, which need not however be a quantified one, though it should perhaps explicitly justified for it to be of any value” To be more comprehensive, Hewson (2011) says that translation quality assessment “attempts to set out the interpretative potential of a translation seen in the light of an establish interpretative frame work whose origin lies in the source text” Furthermore, “translation criticism is evaluative, in that as it explores a translation‟s interpretative potential, it looks at degrees of similarity to or divergence from the source text‟s perceived interpretative potential”
Concerning the assessment of translations, House (1997) has already raised a question: “How do we know when a translation is good?” There are some ideas expressing the views to evaluate a translation
“Anecdotal reflections on the merits and weaknesses of translation have been offered by generations of professional translators, poets and writers, philologists and philosophers The status and relative weight of criteria such as the
“faithfulness to the original”, “retention of the original‟s special flavour”,
“preservation of the spirit of the source language” as opposed to concentrating on
“a natural flow of the translated text” and the “pleasure and delight of the reader of the translation” have been discussed at great length” (House , 1997) She also points out that most of the anecdotal approaches to the evaluation of translation emphasize the belief that the quality of a translation depends largely on the translator‟s subjective interpretation and transfer decisions, which are based on his linguistic and cultural intuitive knowledge and experience However, determining whether the translation is good or not should be based on a special model of quality translation assessment, not on the human‟ feelings or factors Thus, in the next part, some of the outstanding quality translation assessment models will be presented with the aim to provide necessary information before applying the model to evaluate the translated version of the novel
1.3.2 Translation Quality Assessment models 1.3.2.1 Response – based approach
As mentioned in the previous part, most of the anecdotal approaches to the evaluation of translation base on the translator‟s linguistic and cultural intuitive knowledge and experiences We can state that these approach are unenlightening, as they represent a narrow and selective view of translation one-sidedly emphasizing one aspect of translation :the process of comprehension and interpretation on the part of the translator
Another view for translation quality assessment is response – based
One of the representatives of this approach is Nida Nida‟s three criteria for assessing the quality of a translation are programmatic and general :
“1.general efficiency of the communication process, 2 comprehension of intent, 3 equivalence of response.” The third and most important criterion is, of course, closely related to Nida‟s well-known basic principle of “Dynamic (or Functional) Equivalence of a Translation”, the manner in which receptors of the translation text respond to the translation text must be equivalent to the manner in which receptors of the translation text respond to the source text
Three similar criteria are suggested by Nida and Taber (1969): the correctness with which the receptors understand the message of the original, the ease of comprehension and the involvement a person experiences as a result of the adequacy of the form of the translation Again, these behavioral criteria need to be further explained and put to the practical test: the crucial question then remains whether the responses in question can be measured Nida and Taber themselves suggested some practical tests However, each of the test has its own shortcomings The major weakness of all response-based suggestions for translation evaluation, as J House analyzed, is the weakness of all behaviour- centered approached : the “black box”, the human mind is not taken into account, such that, for instance, tests involving expert judges, must take criteria for granted that need to be developed and made explicit in the first place
In this approach, the source text, its linguistic and textual structure and its meaning potential at various levels (including the level of context of situation in a systemic framework), is seen as the most important, indeed constitutive factor in translation Koller (1974) introduced three steps for translation quality assessment The first step is to consider the transferability of the original text If the original text is transferable, we have the most equivalent translation If the original text is untransferable, we have no equivalence or no translation is made The source text should be remained the same The second step is to re-translate the target text into the source language A translation is acceptable if the target text is similar in meaning with the source text after it is re-translated Finally, the third step is to have the translation proof-read by native speakers of the target language A translation must satisfy readers as native speakers of the target language
Although presenting insightful, original and stimulating ideas, Koller does not go beyond a very general outline with no suggestions for operationalization
Reiss‟s work (1970) is based on the concept of equivalence, but considers the text, rather than the word or sentence, as the level at which communication is achieved and at which equivalence must be sought Reiss‟s functional approach aims primarily to systematize translation evaluation
Reiss believes that the “transmission of the predominant function of the source text is the determining factor by which the target text is judged” and proposes “specific translation methods according to text type” She suggested that different types of texts can be differentiated to the basis of three functions of language : content-oriented texts, e.g.news, scientific-technical texts, form- oriented texts, such as poems and literary genres, and conative texts, e.g advertisements and texts of a persuasive bent The determination of the textual types presupposes a careful analysis of the source text, but the suggestions are not explicit enough, she gives no clear indication as to how one should go about establishing language functions and a source text types
Further, at what level of delicacy this can and should be done is left unexplained Thus, it needs to be further developed and made more concrete in order to form a workable model of translation quality assessment
1.3.2.3 Julianne House’s functional – pragmatic approach
House (1977) is in favour of semantic and pragmatic equivalence and argues that source text and target text should match one another in function She gives a model for translation quality assessment which is based on pragmatic theories of language It attempts to avoid anecdotalism, reductionism, programmatic statements and intuitively implausible one-sided considerations of the source text and target text alone The key point in her model is to compare function of the source text and the target text; therefore, to understand her model, it is necessary to understand “function” of an individual text which is different from function of language She states that the “function of a text is the application or use which the text has in the context of a situation” The function consisting of an ideational and interpersonal functional component is equivalent to that of the original An initial analysis of the original according to a set of situational dimensions for which linguistic correlates are established will be made Then, there will be a comparison of both the original‟s and the translation‟s textual profits and functions In this comparison, some mismatches will occur Any mismatch along the dimensions is an error which is then categorized into covertly erroneous errors and overtly erroneous errors
1) Covertly erroneous errors: those which result from a mismatch in one situational dimension
2) Overtly erroneous errors: those which result from a non-dimensional mismatch Such errors can be divided into:
- Breaches of the target language system
- Mistakes in the denotative meanings in source text and target text The final stage in House‟s model is to list both covertly and overtly erroneous errors and a statement of the relative match of the two functional components is made
In her revisited model, she gives a clearer scheme for analyzing and comparing original and translation texts In general, the application of her new model enables us to examine a text on four different levels: Function, Register and Language
According to Le (2006), the model of House has a clear linguistically theoretical base and concrete, detailed steps However, this model also requires linguistic knowledge and high occupational skills of the critics and the criticism mainly aims at researching languages and translation Therefore, this model has not been applied widely and just at experimental level in translation studies
APPLICATION OF NEWMARK’S MODEL FOR TRANSLATION
Step 2: the translator‟s interpretation of the SL text‟s purpose, his translation method and
Comparing the translation version with the original version “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone”, in chapter seven “The sorting hat”, the translator omits some sentences and adds some details that do not appear in the origin as below:
126 While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rulebreaking will lose house points
127 Trong thời gian các con học ở Hogwarts thì thành tích các con đạt được sẽ được cộng vào điểm chung cho nhà mình ở
133 Một ý tưởng khủng khiếp bỗng bật lên trong đầu always do when you're very nervous
133 The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him Next second he was looking at the black inside of the hat He waited
134 Điểu cuối cùng mà Harry nhìn thấy trước khi chiếc nón sụp xuống che mất đôi mắt của nó, là cả sảnh đường đầy nhóc người đều đang hướng mắt nhìn về nó
134 "Well done, Ron, excellent," said Percy Weasley pompously across Harry as
"Zabini, Blaise," was made a Slytherin
136 Giỏi lắm, Ron! Xuất sắc!
Huynh trưởng Percy – anh trai Ron, gào lên đắc thắng
∅ 135 “Thomas Dean!” là một thằng bé da đen cao hơn cả Ron, được vô Gryffindor, đến ngồi bên cạnh Harry
∅ 134 Tới lượt thằng nhợt nhạt
Table 1: Omission and addition in the translation
It can be referred that the omission of some sections in the translation version is not so important that the readers can still understand the whole message without them Besides, normally the TT adds some comment and contact parentheses as a result of the translator‟s attempt to explain or provide additional information for the readers‟ better understanding However, in this case, it can be seen that the addition completely disappears in the origin.
Step 3: A selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the
In this step, the examples of the achievements and weaknesses of the translation in comparison with the original text have been chosen and grouped under general heads as follow:
1 Title of the book Harry Potter and the
Harry Potter và hòn đá phù thủy
The sorting hat Chiếc nón phân loại
Table 2: Comparing two versions in terms of the titles
It can be seen that the title of the book in the TT seems not to have the same literal meaning with the one in the ST According to Western alchemy, the philosophers' stone is a legendary alchemical substance said to be capable of giving people the ability to use alchemy in impossible ways, such as turning base metals such as lead into gold or silver It was also sometimes believed to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and possibly for achieving immortality Basing on this belief in Western culture, Rowling makes the philosopher‟s stone the important thing in her fantasy novel It means that many readers in other cultures do not know about the history of the philosopher‟s stone and the translator has to think of a title which is familiar to the readers and not too difficult to understand as well Both the book and motion picture were released in the United States under the name Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, because the publishers were concerned that most Americans were not familiar enough with the term Philosopher's stone to gain the correct impression from the title This case is the same in Vietnamese language It is the reason why the translator uses the title Harry Potter và hòn đá phù thủy
As mentioned above, the translator transfers the messages and the ideas of the writer while rewriting the novel in her own language Her creativity of paragraphing can easily be found in the chapter It can be seen that many long sentences in the ST are cut into short ones without changing the message and complex sentences were rewritten to simple sentences In many cases, one sentence with many clauses is deliberately broken down into many different sentences:
1 125 The stone walls were lit with flaming torches like the ones at Gringotts, the ceiling was too high to make out, and a magnificent marble staircase facing them led to the upper floors
126 Những vách tường đá được chiếu sáng bằng những bó đuốc to giống như ở nhà băng Gringotts Trần lâu đài cao vòi vọi, và trước mặt bọn trẻ là một chiếc cầu thang cẩm thạch đẹp lộng lẫy lên các tầng trên
2 128 Feeling oddly as though his legs had turned to lead, Harry got into line behind a boy with sandy hair, with Ron behind him, and they walked out of the chamber, back across the hall, and through a pair of double doors into the Great Hall
129 Lúng túng vụng về như thể hai chân đã hóa thành chì, Harry đứng vô hàng, sau lưng một thằng bé tóc vàng Ron đứng sau lưng Harry, và cả bọn nối đuôi ra khỏi phòng, băng ngang hành lang, xuyên qua vài cánh cửa đôi nũa rồi mới bước vào đại sảnh đường
3 141 He was too sleepy even to be surprised that the people in the portraits along the corridors whispered and pointed as they passed, or that twice Percy led them through doorways hidden behind sliding panels and hanging tapestries
142 Nó cũng quá buồn ngủ nên đến nỗi không còn lấy làm ngạc nhiên khi những bước chân dung treo dọc tường xì xào chỉ chỏ lúc nó đi qua Nó cũng hết ngạc nhiên nổi khi Percy dắt cả bọn đi xuyên qua cánh cửa ẩn sau những tấm tranh lớn và những tấm thảm treo tường cả hai lần
4 131 The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down at the Hufflepuff table
132 Những người ngồi ở dãy bàn bên phải hoan hô và vỗ tay chào mừng Hannah đi đến ngồi ở dảy bàn của nhà Hufflepuff
5 131 The table second from the left clapped this time; several Ravenclaws stood up to shake hands with Terry as he joined them
132 Dãy bàn thứ hai bên trái vỗ tay; nhiều thành viên nhà Ravenclaw đứng dậy bắt tay Terry; cậu bé đến nhập vào bàn của họ
Table 3: Comparing two versions in terms of paragraphing
Furthermore, it can be seen that in most cases, the relative clauses are broken down into other independent sentences or are transferred under the form of a comment parenthesis; otherwise they are omitted in the TT
1 126 Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's cloak, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose
127 Ánh mắt bà chần chừ trên chiếc áo choàng cột ẩu tả của Neville; chót mũi nhọ nhem của Ron cũng có vẻ khiến giáo sư không hài lòng
2 127 No one was talking much except Hermione Granger, who was whispering very fast about all the spells she'd learned and wondering which one she'd need
127 không ai dám nói năng gì, ngoại trừ con nhỏ Hermione cứ lẩm nhẩm cả đống thần chú đã học thuộc lòng và đang tính xem hồi nữa nên xài câu nào
3 127 Then something happened which made him jump about a foot in the air
128 Bỗng nhiên có một chuyện khiến Harry nhảy bắn lên không trung cả ba tấc
4 128 It was lit by thousands and thousands of candles which were floating in mid air over four long tables
129 Gian phòng mênh mông được chiếu sáng bằng hàng ngàn hàng vạn ngọn nến, lơ lửng trên không trung phía trên bốn dãy bàn dài
5 131 A pink-faced girl with blonde pigtails stumbled out of line, put on the hat, which fell right down over her eyes, and sat down
132 Một cố bé có đôi má hồng hồng và đôi bím tóc vàng hoe bước ra khỏi hàng, đội nón vào và ngồi xuống ghế
6 136 He was right next to
Malfoy who, Harry was pleased to see, didn‟t look too pleased with the seating arrangements
138 Con ma đó ngồi bên cạnh
Malfoy, và Harry khoái chí nhận thấy Malfoy có vẻ bực bội vì bị xếp chỗ ngồi như vậy
7 139 And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death
140 Và cuối cùng, tôi phải nói trước cho các con biết là năm nay, hành lang tầng thứ ba phía bên tay phải là khu vực cấm Ai muốn chết một cách cực kỳ đau đớn thì cứ mò đến đó
8 140 Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words
141 Cụ Dumbledore vẫy cây đũa thần của cụ như thể đuổi con ruồi đậu ở chót gậy Từ đầu gậy tuôn ra một chuỗi nơ vàng, uốn lượn như rắn và kết thành chữ phía trên các dãy bàn
Table 4: Comparing two versions in terms of relative clauses
Another issue about the structure in the TT is the frequency of using passive form and active form Normally in English passive structures are frequently used whereas Vietnamese language seems to follow the opposite tendency However, it is not the case of the translation version by Ly Lan
Step 4: An evaluation of the translation
The writer is going to evaluate the translation basing on the analysis of the evidences compared above Both the success and the weaknesses of the translation will be presented
• The success of the translation:
In terms of syntactic, the translator is successful in transferring many English structures into Vietnamese naturally and flexibly There are a few things capable of charming the readers and making them absorbed in the book The translator‟s ability to make the sentences smooth and fluently is one of them It is not hard to find many examples in chapter seven that make a deep impression on the readers not for the messages in the sentences but the remarkably smooth sentences (see example 2,3 in table 3) Relative clauses are transferred flexibly in the form of independent sentences or under the form of a comment parenthesis or they omitted in TT without changing the meaning of the sentences and the messages of the author (example 2,6,7,8,9 in table 4) Another notable issue is that the passive form and active structures in the ST are transferred into the TT naturally (see table 5)
Besides, the translation is also very successful in terms of semantics
This is reflected by the translator‟s choice of words, expressions and the use of idioms
With proper names and pronouns, the translator transfers them to the
TT flexibly according to different cases (see more in table 6)
The translator is also successful in using idioms in some cases which makes the text naturally and familiar to the Vietnamese readers (see example 3,4,7,9,10,11,12,13,14 in table 7) One case in point is example 7 : “He was pale green by now” (Nó xanh lét như tàu lá chuối) The idiom “ xanh như tàu lá chuối” was used to indicate the feeling in a horrible or bad situation In the case of Ron, he was very worried about being chosen in one of four houses which was reflected by his appearance The idiom which was used here is the most condensed way to emphasize the bad feeling of the character The similar usage of idioms is found in example 3- “a house for people who feel a bit queasy” (“nhà” chuyên dành cho những người cảm thấy bồn chồn đến phát buồn nôn)- and example 4 – “Hermione almost ran to the stool” (Cô bé chạy như bay lại cái ghế) Perhaps the literal meaning of the ST and the TT are not exactly the same; however, the idioms still play a very important part in creating the stronger effect on the readers than a normal structure
Furthermore, it makes the TT nearer the spoken style rather than written style in the ST
In addition, it can not be denied that many English words and expressions are translated concisely and naturally (see example 1,3,7,13,19,26,28,33,36 in table 8) One example can be taken into account is number 3: “They crowded in, standing rather closer together than they would usually have done, peering about nervously.” According to Longman dictionary, “peer about” is “to look very carefully at something especially because you are having difficulty seeing it”; therefore its equivalence in
Vietnamese can be “nhìn chằm chằm”, “nhìn chăm chú”, “soi” or “nhòm”,
“ngó”…However, in the context, to emphasize the nervous and worrying feeling of the first-year students who were new to the surroundings, no expression is more suitable than “nghểnh cổ ngóng chờ” Similarly, in example 36 “Everybody finished the song at different times”, is transferred to Vietnamese very naturally (Bài hát chấm dứt, người dứt trước, người xong sau) thanks to the expression “người dứt trước, người xong sau”
In brief, it can not be denied that the translation on the whole has achieved some success However, there are inevitable mistakes in the TT when comparing with the ST which need to be improved in order to make the translation better
• The weaknesses of the translation:
With regard to syntactic, some sentences are not translated correctly; the message in the TT even has no relationship with the message in the ST
1 126 I shall return when we are ready for you
127 Ta sẽ trở lại khi nào các con chuẩn bị xong
2 129 Maybe they had to try and get a rabbit out of it
130 Chắc họ sẽ phải bắt mình lôi ra được từ trong cái nón một con thỏ
3 136 I would prefer you to call me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy
137 Ta yêu cầu các cháu gọi ta là ngài Nicholas de Mimsy
4 140 The other teachers‟ smiles had become rather fixed
141 Harry chợt nhận thấy nụ cười của các giáo sư khác chợt tắt lịm
Table 9: Mistakes in the translation in terms of grammar and meaning
In example 1 and 2, it can be seen clearly that the meaning of the sentence in the ST is totally different with the one in the TT Furthermore, in example 3, the structure “would prefer you to ” is not used to give command whereas in the translated version, the translator uses “ta yêu cầu các cháu” which indicates the command or order In example 4, the message in the ST is that the other teachers aren't feeling true school spirit while they sing the song, they look happy and carefree but they are not happy; however, they still smile Hence, this message is totally not the same as the message in the TT –
“nụ cười…chợt tắt lịm”
Besides, the most serious problem with the translation is about vocabulary and expressions
The first problem in the choice of words and expressions is that some idioms are not used correctly in particular contexts It can be denied that the translator has been successful in using idioms; however, in some context, it is not suitable (see example 1,2,5,6,8 in table 7) In example 1, the translator transfers “frayed” in the ST into “vá chùm vá đụp” in the TT which are not equivalent In example 2, the hat “bowed to each of the four tables” which means that the hat bowed to the students of four houses sitting in the four tables on the floor, not all the directions - “bốn phương tám hướng” - as mentioned in the translated version
The second problem, which is the most notable problem, is that the denotative and connotative meanings of many words have been totally changed between the ST and the TT It can be seen in table 8 (example 2,4,5,6,8,9,10,11,12,14,16,17,18,20,21,22,27,29,30,32,34,35,37,38) Many simple words in the TT and the ST are not equivalent such as the door – sàn nhà, behind – xung quanh, streamed – trườn, teachers – giáo sư, several – nhiều, catcalling – huýt sáo mừng, plate – mấy cái đĩa, sandy-hair – tóc bím vàng, swung forward – tự mình lách qua, great auntie – mợ, peppermint humbugs – những con bọ the Many expressions in the TT do not reflect correctly the meaning in the ST such as: a ruff and tights – đồ bó sát, the school song – một bài ca của trường, roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops - thịt cốt lết, đùi trừu, bacon – thịt ba chỉ
2.4.2 An evaluation of the translation in the critic’s terms
Through the analysis of the achievements and the weaknesses of the translation of chapter seven in the book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” by Ly Lan, some comments can be drawn as followed
First of all, in general, the translation of chapter seven “The sorting hat”, which contains 19 pages, has obtained a certain success The translation has followed the original version very closely in most cases
Besides, the translator seems to have many experiences in translating literature works in the way idioms and many expressions are used naturally and the way sentences are paragraphed flexibly Moreover, Ly Lan has proven herself to have an abundance vocabulary which is the contribution to the success of the translation
However, there are still some problems in the translation which need to be improved for a better version The translator should be careful when choosing vocabulary which needs to be familiar to all the readers Moreover, the translation should follow the origin more closely because some details of the original version is omitted or added with no reasons which somewhat affects the quality of the translation
2.4.3 Assess the translation as a piece of writing, independently of its original
As an independent piece of writing, the Vietnamese version of “Harry
Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” is a very exciting and interesting story
“Harry Potter và hòn đá phù thủy” is a good book if it is considered a literature work for children Through the book, Ly Lan has proven herself not only an experienced translator but also a talented writer The language used in the book in general is simple and easy to be understood to most of the readers, especially young readers Most of the expressions are suitable, concise and familiar to Vietnamese readers Moreover, the writing style in the book is very natural which sometimes makes the book seem to be a Vietnamese novel It is believed that for those reasons the Vietnamese version of “Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone” is a successful literature work, independently of its original
2.5 Step 5 An assessment of the likely place of the translation in the target language culture or discipline
J K Rowlingis best known as the author of the Harry Potter fantasy series The books have gained worldwide attention, won multiple awards, and sold millions of copies They have become the best-selling book series in history and have been the basis for a series of films which became the highest-grossing film series in history Rowling had overall approval on the scripts and maintained creative control by serving as a producer on the final installment Therefore, the Vietnamese version of the story has made great contribution to the variety of national literature In brief, in spite of some inevitable mistakes, it can be said that the Vietnamese version of
“Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” will be a great literature work for many Vietnamese generations
The study has demonstrated the writer‟s analysis attempt towards the quality of the Vietnamese translation version of Chapter 7 – The sorting hat – in the book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” by J.K Rowling
Basing on Newmark‟s model, the analysis of the both ST and TT has led the writer to some important findings
Firstly, in terms of the first question, the Vietnamese translation of Chapter 7 of the book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone” is of high quality
