the translation quality assessment using newmarks model

Translations gives benefits to a better communication, has a great influence on literature, newspaper, commercial, movie and many purposes need a translated version of original version.T

THANG LONG UNIVERSITY ENGLISH DEPARTMENT

-o0o -THE TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENTUSING NEWMARK’S MODEL

SUPERVISOR: Phạm Thái Sơn, M.A STUDENT NAME: Bùi Hữu Phương STUDENT CODE: A32288

Hanoi- July 1, 2020

COMMENTS AND MARKING

2.3 Translation Quality Assessment 7

II, THE ASSESSMENT OF TRANSLATION 9

1 Source text and target text 9

1.1 Original text by Noi Bai Catering Services 9

1.2 The translation by Noi Bai Catering Services 10

2 Evaluation of the translation basing on Newmark’s Model 11

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text 11

2.1.1 The author’s purpose 11

2.1.2 Characterisation of the readership 11

2.2 The translator’s purpose 11

2.2.1 The translation method 11

2.2.2 Omission of original text 11

2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original 12

2.3.1 The title 12

2.3.2 The structure 12

2.4 The evaluation of the translation 13

2.5 The translation’s future 14

REFERENCES 16

English is the most commonly spoken language However, most people prefer using their native language Therefore, translation and interpreting are necessary This process helps people understand and comprehend English Translation takes part in spreading new information, knowledge and ideas across the world Translations gives benefits to a better communication, has a great influence on literature, newspaper, commercial, movie and many purposes need a translated version of original version.

The purpose of this essay is to summary theories of translation and give a detailed information on which theories and procedures that translators used to translate from source language to target language and assess the quality of the translated version from the text according to Newmark’s model (text analysis, translation methods, translation procedures, translation errors (if any))

I would like to use the translation of “Đặc sản Phú Quốc trên chuyến bay” Both English version and Vietnamese version were edited and translated by Noi Bai Catering Services The article is about Phu Quoc special dish and through this speciality and airline meals, Noi Bai Catering Services and Heritage help to introduce Vietnamese cuisine to the world.

I,THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

1 Translation Theory 1.1 Definition of Translation

The definition of translation can be several According to Catford (1965), “Translation is the replacement of textual material in one language by equivalent textual material in another language Koller (1995) states that “Translation can be understood as the result of a text-processing activity, by means of which a source-language text between the resulting text in the target-language text and the source-language text) there exists a relationship, or equivalence relation” Peter Newmark shows his perspective about translation “Translation is rendering the meaning of a text into another language in the way that the author intended the text”.

To conclude, we can understand that translation is the act of transferring the linguistic entities from one language in to their equivalents in to another language.

1.2 Translation methods

According to Peter Newmark, there are eight translation methods in total:

- In Source- Language: Word-for-word translation, Literal translation, Faithful translation, Semantic translation.

- In Target-Language: Adaptation, Free translation, Idiomatic translation, Communicative translation.

1.3 Translation procedures

Vinay and Darbelnet suggest seven procedures that in direct translation are borrowing, calque and literal translation, in oblique translation includes transposition, modulation, equivalence and adaptation According to Newmark’s, there are eleven translation procedures:

- Literal translation, transference, naturalization, through translation, transposition/shift, modulation, cultural equivalent, functional equivalent, descriptive equivalent, couplets, other procedures.

2 Translation equivalence 2.1 Definition

Catford states that “The central problem of translation-practice is that of finding target-language translation equivalents A central task of translation theory is that of defining the nature and condition of translation equivalence” There are different theories of equivalence According to Mona Baker (1992), equivalence is the relationship between a source text and a target text that allows the target text to be considered as a translation of the source text “Equivalence was a relationship between two texts in two languages, rather than between the languages themselves” (Jakobson) Nida and Taber make it clear that there are not always formal equivalents between language pairs They therefore suggest that these formal equivalents should be used wherever possible if the translation aims at achieving formal rather than dynamic equivalence.

2.2 Classification of equivalence 2.2.1 Kade’s Quantitative equivalence

- One-to-one equivalence is a single expression in target language is equivalent to a single expression in source language.

- One-to-many equivalence is more than one target language expressions are equivalent to a single source language expression.

- One-to-part-of-one equivalence is a target-language expression covers part of a concept designated by a single source-language expression.

- Nil equivalence is that no target language expression is equivalent to a single source language expression.

2.2.2 Meaning-based equivalence

Werner Koller proposes five types of equivalence:

- Denotative equivalence is one in which the source-language and target-language words refer to the same thing in the real world

- Connotative equivalence is source-language and target-language produce the same communicative values in the mind of native speakers of two languages The connotation transmitted by means of the word choices, with respect to level of style, the social and geographical dimension, frequency, etc This also called “Stylistic equivalence”.

- Text-normative equivalence is the source language and target language words are used in the same or similar context in their respective languages, it relates to text-type specific features or text and language norms for give text text-types.

- Pragmatic equivalence (communicative equivalence) is the source language and target language words have the same effect on the reader

- Formal equivalence (expressive equivalence) focuses on the form of the text: rhythm, verse form, special stylistic forms of expression in syntax and lexis, word play, metaphor… and particularly used in translation of poems, songs, etc

2.2.3 Function-based equivalence

Nida argued that there are two different types of equivalence, namely formal equivalence—which in the second edition by Nida and Taber (1982) is referred to as formal correspondence—and dynamic equivalence

2.2.4 Form-based equivalence

Baker (2011) divides five levels of equivalence including equivalence at word level, equivalence above word level, grammatical equivalence, textual equivalence, pragmatic equivalence.

2.3 Translation Quality Assessment

Translation Quality Assessment is an essential link between translation theory and its practice (Newmark) This process focuses on the relationships between the source text translated into target text, by evaluating sources, evaluating authors and translators and evaluating source texts and evaluating target texts.

The translation quality assessment models have been created by House, Newmark and many authors, professors This essay will focus on Newmark’s models about translation quality assessment The comprehensive criticism of a translation has to cover five topics:

(1) a brief analysis of the SL text stressing its intention and its functional aspects (2) the translator's interpretation of the SL text's purpose, his translation method and the translation's likely readership.

(3) a selective but representative detailed comparison of the translation with the original in terms of both semantics and syntactic.

(4) an evaluation of the translation - (a) in the translator's terms, (b) in the critic's terms as a piece of writing, independently of its original.

(5) an assessment of the likely place of the translation in target language culture

II, THE ASSESSMENT OF TRANSLATION

1 Source text and target text

The text below is from the NoiBai Catering Services in associated with Heritage to bring Vietnamese cuisine to the world through famous dishes This text is edited and translated by the NoiBai Catering Services Both of original version and translated version will be evaluated based on Newmark’s model

1.1 Original text by Noi Bai Catering Services

“Đặc sản” Phú Quốc TRÊN CHUYẾN BAY

Tiếp tục đem tới cho hành khách những trải nghiệm mới mẻ, thú vị, trong tháng 8 này, Vietnam Airlines ra mắt món ăn mới “Cá mú biển Đông sốt tiêu xanh Phú Quốc” phục vụ trong các bữa trưa và tối dành cho hành khách hạng Thương gia trên các đường bay Hà Nội – TP.Hồ Chí Minh/ Cần Thơ/ Phú Quốc và hạng Phổ thông đặc biệt trên đường bay Hà Nội – TP.Hồ Chí Minh.

Cá mú Phú Quốc nổi tiếng thơm ngon, hiếm có nơi nào sánh được, bởi vùng biển ở đây rất sạch, khí hậu ấm áp quanh năm và có nhiều rặng san hô, rất thuận lợi để loài cá này sinh sôi, phát triển Cá mú sau khi được tuyển chọn làm sạch, sẽ được các đầu bếp của Công ty CP Suất ăn Hàng không Nội Bài cắt phi lê lọc lấy phần thịt tươi ngon nhất tẩm ướp gia vị, chiên sơ tạo độ giòn, rồi phủ lên một lớp caramel tạo màu và sốt tiêu theo phương pháp “Slow cook” (nấu chậm) Cách chế biến này sẽ giúp cho phần thịt của cá được ngấm đều với gia vị và độ cay nồng của tiêu xanh Phú Quốc Thưởng thức miếng cá mú sốt tiêu thơm phức ăn cùng với cơm dẻo và rau xanh hẳn sẽ làm hài lòng tất cả những thực khách sành ăn nhất.

Mang hương vị ngọt ngào từ đảo ngọc Phú Quốc, món ăn này cũng chính là một trong những “đặc sản” của các vùng miền mà Vietnam Airlines hân hạnh gửi tới quý khách trên những hành trình khám phá đất nước Việt Nam tươi đẹp.

1.2 The translation by Noi Bai Catering Services A Taste of PHU QUOC

Continuing our mission of delivering authentic tastes of Vietnam to our passengers, this August, a brand new dish called “East Sea grouper with Phu Quoc green pepper sauce” is being introduced The dish will be served during lunch and dinner on Business Class flights between Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City/Can Tho/ Phu Quoc as well as Premium Economy Class on the Hanoi-Ho Chi Minh City route.

The clear sea, warm climate all year round and coral reefs of Phu Quoc have created favorable condition for groupers to thrive Filets are seasoned and sautéed and then slow-cooked Vienamese-style for a carmelized finish This preparation, by Noi Bai Catering Services Joint Stock Company, allows the filet to fully absorb the seasoning and the fieriness of Phu Quoc green peppers.

Carrying the taste of Phu Quoc, the Pearl Island, this dish a specialty which Vietnam Airlines is honored to serve passengers on your journey of exploring the beauty of Vietnam.

2 Evaluation of the translation basing on Newmark’s Model

2.1 A brief analysis of the source language text 2.1.1 The author’s purpose

As a Vietnamese cuisine ambassador, Noi Bai Catering Services brought signature foods and beverages from every place in VietNam to the airplane fly across blue sky to serve passengers Heritage, along with Noi Bai Catering Services help to bring Vietnamese cuisine to other people across the world.

2.1.2 Characterisation of the readership

The article is made for airplane’s passengers Any passengers from young to old, to First Class, Business Class and Economy Class.

2.2 The translator’s purpose 2.2.1 The translation method

This article was edited and translated by Noi Bai Catering Services This translated version has been used by faithful translation method, making words are translated in context and by communicative translation method, making the translated version was written at readership’s linguistic level and normalized the text.

2.2.2 Omission of original text

Comparing between the source-language text and the target-language text in Vietnamese by Noi Bai Catering Services, there are some words, phrases and sentences that have not been translated.

Source-language text:

- Cá mú Phú Quốc nổi tiếng thơm ngon, hiếm có nơi nào sánh được, bởi vùng

biển ở đây rất sạch, khí hậu ấm áp quanh năm và có nhiều rặng san hô, rất thuận lợi để loài cá này sinh sôi, phát triển.

- Thưởng thức miếng cá mú sốt tiêu thơm phức ăn cùng với cơm dẻo và rau xanh hẳn sẽ làm hài lòng tất cả những thực khách sành ăn nhất.

Target-language text:

- The clear sea, warm climate all year round and coral reefs of Phu Quoc have created favorable condition for groupers to thrive

- Untranslated

In the first sentence, the bold phrase is untranslated In the second example, whole sentence is not translated by the translator.

2.3 Comparison of the translation with the original 2.3.1 The title

The title in the source-language is ‘“Đặc sản” Phú Quốc trên chuyến bay’, and is translated into “A Taste of Phu Quoc” The translator has chosen the word “taste” instead of special food, speaciality to translate the word “đặc sản” However, “a taste” will give passengers, readers more feelings about food, especially Phu Quoc cuisine The phrase “trên chuyến bay” is untranslated but it can be minored because the article focuses on the Phu Quoc special dish not just because it will be served on airplane, making passengers, readers be curious about Phu Quoc cuisine.

2.3.2 The structure

The translator has changed the original structure of some sentences by adding some phrases, commas, periods This changes in order to make the translated version become understandable to readers.

Original version:

- Vietnam Airlines ra mắt món ăn mới “Cá mú biển Đông sốt tiêu xanh Phú Quốc” - … các đầu bếp của Công ty CP Suất ăn Hàng không Nội Bài cắt phi lê lọc lấy

phần thịt tươi ngon nhất tẩm ướp gia vị, chiên sơ tạo độ giòn, rồi phủ lên một lớp caramel tạo màu và sốt tiêu theo phương pháp “Slow cook”.

Translated version

- a brand new dish called “East Sea grouper with Phu Quoc green pepper sauce” is being introduced.

- Filets are seasoned and sautéed and then slow-cooked Vienamese-style for a carmelized finish This preparation, by Noi Bai Catering Services Joint Stock Company.

2.4 The evaluation of the translation

The translated version of the article is accurate, closest to the original version The translator has done well in translating and delivering the meaning of the text without making it obscure or confusing The structure of source-language text has been translated faithfully There are two phrases, words are untranslated This omission does not make the target-language text different from the source-language text because information from two sentences are not take any significant impact on the meaning of the paragraphs However, we should translate every words and sentences to deliver exact meaning of the original text and to respect the author Therefore, the translated has finished his work properly and gave readers an acceptable English version of the article about Phu Quoc famous dishes.