Writing task 2 9.0 9999 artistic freedom (1)

Trang 1 Overall band score 9 9+9+9+9See below C&C LR GRA Model answerWRITING TASK 2You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Write about the following topic:Some people think that a

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Overall band score 9 9+9+9+9

See below C&C LR GRA Model answer

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any

thoughts and ideas.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Write at least 250 words

Original answer -

It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic expression are still necessary

Granted, there are certain benefits of granting artists complete freedom to

express their feelings and beliefs Proponents might argue freedom of expression

is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which

is indeed of importance to innovation and social progress

Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would

be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions

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In conclusion, although artistic freedom is indeed important, I would contend that

it should not come at the cost of causing harm or offense to others For this

reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it

Overall band score 9 9+9+9+9

TR – Task Response nb – GRA and LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

You have a clear position throughout and all parts of the question are addressed Your position is coherent and well-argued The ideas are relevant, extended, and coherent

I disagree 100% with your views – you’ve spent too long reading the Guardian and the BBC If the right is to not be offended, the effect would be that only one point

of view is ever allowed, as people are offended by the expression of a different opinion This is what we say in the “pandemic“, and as nearly always happens, those trying to should down dissent were wrong about absolutely everything Someone’s right not to be offended should not take precedence over your right

to speak freely, even if you’re wrong

In the tyrannical west nowadays, censorship is just used to shut down the

opposition – look at what happened when Tucker Carlson revealed the truth about the J6 protests – there were calls to shut him down No one made any attempt to refute what he said – they just claimed to be offended by what is basically the truth People who have a religious objection to gay marriage are accused of hate speech People were arrested in Britain for displaying Russian flags and accused of inciting racial hatred Parents who object to their infant school children being taught about gays and transsexuals are accused of “hate speech” This is what happens when you set the censorship bar so low that

you’re not allowed to offend anyone

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Better arguments would be that you’re not allowed to promote immoral

behaviour to children, or to ban porn and excessive violence, which you

mentioned

Nevertheless, lots of people would agree with you, and you supported your arguments clearly, which is why I gave you 9 for TR

Advice On Brainstorming For Task 2

As you’re planning and writing your answer, remember to constantly

ask yourself if you’re answering the question Check back to the

question a few times as you think of ideas to make sure they're

directly relevant

question

the question asks for solutions, in the plural, you must suggest at least 2

of the main body paragraphs, are directly relevant to the question

ideas in the main body paragraphs, directly support the main idea

before, as there will always be important differences

that it is consistent with the ideas in the main bodies, and that it does not contradict the introduction

It is often proposed that artists should be allowed to express what they feel and believe without any fear of censorship or persecution While acknowledging the reasons for this thinking, I believe certain regulations on the freedom of artistic

expression is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative

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potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and

Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some

would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a

reason, some limitations on the expression of artists are warranted to ensure that

C&C - Cohesion and Coherence nb GRA and LR errors have not been corrected Band score 9

Excellent cohesion and coherence throughout, with no errors

The sentences have a natural flow characteristic of high band score answers

Paragraphing for Task 2

I recommend you write 4 paragraphs as follows:

After reading the introduction, the reader should have a

good idea what the essay is about, and what your position

(opinion) is It should be possible to write an introduction in

under 50 words It is not necessary to write a long

background statement

expand on the ideas sufficiently to persuade the examiner

that you’ve fully supported the main ideas If you write 3

main bodies, it is more difficult to expand and support them

sufficiently to get a high score

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 If it’s a two-part question, answer the questions in the order

they’re given and write one paragraph per question

each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and 2 or

more supporting ideas which support the topic sentence with

reasons, evidence, and examples Do not waste time with

lots of background information

and the main ideas, and it should not introduce new ideas It

should directly answer the question Do not leave the

examiner in any doubt about whether you’ve answered the

question

to clarify your position, make sure that give a good reason to

reject one of the sides If you just restated the original ideas

about one side, the examiner may decide you have covered

one side more than the other

extent question if you have main ideas which both agree and

disagree with the proposition Avoid short paragraphs, with

under 70 words, as it may be difficult to show a clear central

topic in a short paragraph.

the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences

artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and

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would be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or

violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that

consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions

that the arts serve their purpose of enriching society, instead of dividing it

LR- - Lexical resource nb Some GRA errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Vocabulary is used accurately with sufficienxt flexibility to show precise meaning, with a wide variety of vocabulary, used accurately and with a high level of control Errors are rare and occur as minor slips

is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way

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artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and

emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which

restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would

be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or

For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted

Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions

GRA – Grammatical range and accuracy nb Some LR errors have not been corrected

Band score 9

Grammar is used accurately a wide variety of structures, which should be good for

a band score 9

Punctuation is use correctly throughout

Appropriate structures are used throughout

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is the foundation of human rights, the root of human nature, and the mother of truth According to this belief, there should not be any limitations on the way artists voice their opinions of issues, ranging from personal experiences and emotions to socioeconomic and political matters Aside from this, by letting artists freely express themselves, not only would it help unleash their creative potential, but it could also incentivize the culture of experimentation and risk-taking, which

Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I am convinced that some restriction on artistic freedom is still needed Perhaps the foremost reason would

be that freedom of expression does not equate to the right to offend or harm others In other words, artistic expression that promotes hate speech, violence, or discrimination against a certain group of people should never be championed For example, the artwork of the Italian artist Max Papeschi that depicted Holocaust victims as superheroes caused widespread outrage, with many saying that it showed disrespect to the people involved His work, as a consequence, was cut out from many exhibitions

Tiêu đề	Artistic Freedom
Thể loại	Essay

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