Đang tải... (xem toàn văn)
MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND TRAINING HANOI OPEN UNIVERSITY FACULTY OF ENGLISH ************ ASSIGNMENT ON INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION COMPARISON ABOUT NON – VERBAL COMMUNICATION SYSTEM OF DIFFERENT CULTU[.]
MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND TRAINING HANOI OPEN UNIVERSITY FACULTY OF ENGLISH ************ ASSIGNMENT ON INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION COMPARISON ABOUT NON – VERBAL COMMUNICATION SYSTEM OF DIFFERENT CULTURES ( So sánh khác việc giao tiếp phi ngôn từ văn hóa khác ) Supervisor: Luu Chi Hai Hanoi, 2017 CONTENTS Contents I Introduction II Development Theory Background 1.1 Definitions and the importance of raising a child 1.2 Growing stages of a child from the age of 1to 19 Analysis about raising a child in Vietnam and in America 2.1 In Vietnam .6 2.2 In America .7 2.3 Differences .8 2.4 Summary III Conclusion 10 References .11 I Introduction As we have known before, in every country, educating people is always one of the most important concerns with every single country in the world today, especially young children - "The Future Owner of This Blue and Green Planet" Raising a child in families nowadays is now more and more concerned than ever, for this new world is in need of new people to make it move From huge developed empires in the European Unions to the small developing countries in the South East Asia, every parents in every family are doing everything they can everyday so their next generations can have a better future than them right now, whether their skin is black, yellow, or white At this point, you may wonder "What is the connection between raising a child and an assignment of intercultural assignment? “ Well, many centuries ago, our ancestors have pointed out that the way you raise a child is also the reflection mirror of your culture From that point of view, the author of this research paper realized that because of the culture of each country is different, so the culture in raising a child of each country is also different I'm an English learner, and at the same time I have a thing or two about raising a child On the other hand , I also want to show you what I know about raising a child in America, and differences in the way our country raise a child in comparison to the biggest country in the world right now My only purpose in this research paper is to help people to understand the differences between the way we are raising a child in Vietnam and the way people it in America, and from that point, we can learn something new from the youngest nation about raising a child Some parts in this research paper are only my opinions and other ideas from my friends and relatives, due to my lack of experience in this field, so I really want to have some advices on this one Hope you will enjoy it! II Development 1.Theory Background 1.1 Definitions and the importance of raising a child There are quite some definitions about raising a child But in general, raising a child is generally believed as an activity in which happens in families with the main goal to help the subject (Which is the child) to develop in all aspects as well as being fully developed like a normal human Family is also the first and the most important society in everyone’s life Characteristics, abilities, and habits, which are the reflections of any culture is also reflected in a child from the age of six We usually say that family is the home that help us to grow and the crib that help us to put our first steps into the world The first school for everyone is the family and the first teachers of any child are their parents About the importance of raising a child, it is written in The Catholic Education Statement that “The first and undeniable task, as well as the right of parents is to raise their children.” (GD6) Beside schools, a very important social impact, parents’ concerns are also counted as a measure for the development of a child As the life transmitters, parents have a heavy but honor duty to raise their children In other words, we can say that parents are the first and also the main teachers of every single child The matter of raising a child must be concerned and carefully executed Confucius also once said “If you don’t raise your own children, then you would better off raise a pig for its meat” 1.2 Growing stages of a child from the age of to 19 There are many growing stages of a normal person, but in this research paper we focus to the age of to 19, which is also the main structure for comparing later From the age of to 5: At this stage, children will start learning about the world around them They start “finding out” what they can But they are still too small and lack of experience to “succeed” From the age of to 12: Children are taking their first steps to walk alone in this society, starting with communications and competitions with their friends at school They also find out about their own strength and talents But on the other hand, they are less obedient From the age of 13 to 19: Children in this stage are considered as “Wild Horses” Puberty, plus the will to control everything in life make a child from cute little babies to rebels They start learning about their value in life and their relationship with other people as well This is the most important stage for the development a child Because in the US parents have a tradition to put their children into the dormitory when they get into the university, even if their house is near the university So to make it fair, I’ll only take it to age of 19 Analysis about raising a child in Vietnam and in America 2.1 In Vietnam * From the age of to 5: This is the time when a child is truly new to the world His/ her grandparents, parents and other relatives are really happy because of the existence of a new born child The kid is loved by everyone around him / her From the age of to 3, parents always speak simple words to their children like "mom" or "dad" and wait for the child to repeat after it A child is also raised up and sent to sleep with traditional lullaby songs that have gone out through centuries That is the first step of acculturation, which is the process of teaching new generations of children the customs and values of the parents’ culture This is also the phase when the child will repeat after everything that his/ her mom and dad speak or do, so parents will take advance of this time to teach their children about rules and orders (or just simple like things that we can and things that we are not allowed to do) If their child refuses to follow, mom and dad will always be ready to give them a slap in the face, or just a whoop in the ass This quite brutality way is based on an idiom of our ancestors from thousands of years ago which is still believed to be true in the present "If you hate your child, then give him a candy But if you love him, then give him a whoop" As a child in Vietnam, I believe that everyone have gone to this stage of life Then, from the age of to 5, children are sent to kindergartens or playgroups and the task to put a child in order is now mainly passed from parents to the teacher Parents send their children to the kindergarten in the morning, and pick them up in the afternoon, when working time is over *From the age of to 12 A child can have his/her own room from this period of life Before primary education, parents will start finding the best primary school in town for their child They believe that the better the school is, the better their child will be Actually this situation happens when the child finishes any level of education, including primary, secondary and upper - secondary But after all, the phase from kindergarten to primary is always considered as the hardest battle of them all A couple of months before the first grade, children will be sent to classes to learn to write and read Parents believe that it will help their children to catch up with their friends and the lesson plans at school later That is months before the age of 6, and the next six years is just like this The child is dropped off at school from 8:00am to 4:00pm It's quite like kindergarten, but things get more "interesting" with extra classes after school Children are forced to go to extra classes by their parents with the hope to help them to get good grades at school It is believed that a child’s mark is equal to parenting level, the honor of the family and the superiority of the family’s gene Some talented children are even sent to special classes for talented ones to find out and raise up their potentials Arguments start coming up, but in parents' minds, they are still controllable Good marks at school are the only measurements for children So from that point they start comparing their children with his classmates at school They also find any moment they can to ask the teacher how their children are doing at school to make sure that everything is going on their way The concept of “The child of the other family” (Or Con Nhà Người Ta in Vietnamese) which is very trending right now on social media Parents believe that if his/her classmates can it well at school, so can their children On the other hand, they think it’s a useful tool to “encourage” their children to learn better *From the age of 13 to 19 Generation gap is mainly built in this time Beside extra classes and other things about studying, young adults now have to face up with puberty and the will to try everything new They want to what they like, when they like it, with whom From that point of view, they usually have the different point of view to their parents ( or old people like we say nowadays) Arguments are not just about studying, they are now moving on to other things like passions, or even love Vietnam is really traditional about love Mostly young people are not encouraged, even forbidden from love at this stage because their parents believe that it will affect the studying process of their children But things get really messed up at the age of 18, when the child is preparing for the GCSE exam For parents, this is the most important exam in life The future of a child is believed to be laid on the line The mark from this test is usually believed to have power that can decide the fate of child, whether they will get in a university and become successful, or become a failure If a child pass this test, it will be the honor of the whole family Then, parents start guiding their children to universities which are guaranteed for a steady job after graduation, or just a university which guarantees a job that is just like the one they are doing Children start arguing with parents about the university they like and the one that their parents prefer Some talented children are sent to universities about art or music, but that is only a small number That is the end for the age of 19 2.2 In America *From the age of to A newborn child in America is welcomed to this world just like the way we it in Vietnam Quite like Vietnam, from the age of children are also sent to kindergartens or playgroups, but parents will prefer places with a playground and near parents’ offices (If possible) When they have a short break time during work, they can pass by the playground and see what their children are doing It is not uncommon at this time for a child to be put in a separate room, which is seen as the first step for a child to have his/her own independence Parents also spend the evening at home to talk or play with their children to get to know their children better, proving themselves not just friends, but also a reliable advisor for their own children Then at night, to get their children to sleep, parents will prefer to read fairy tales to give their children a good night That is why more than three quarters on four of fairy tales that we read nowadays come from this land *From the age of to 12 Choosing a school for a child is really easy here for parents Even though they send their children to a state school (Which is funded by the government and free of charge) or a private school (Which is funded by private sectors with high study fees), the values that their children can have are just the same At this stage, children are taught to make decisions and be responsible for their own actions At the age of or 10 a child can have the right to deliver newspapers, milk or even letters if possible in the neighborhood to get some earnings and contribute to the society Children can even join groups of boy scouts or girl scouts to sell cookies or volunteer in social activities as well Even though these jobs are not highly paid, but they will help the children to save some money for further study in the future On the other hand, they will also know how hard their parents have been doing to make a living for their families Children are also encouraged to join clubs at school or groups about art, music or whatever they like to find out about their own talents, or just to discover their own values They don’t really care about their children’s study at school, as long as their score reports are acceptable At the age of 12, children will a test to find out what they like to in the future (Or career guiding tests for short) Teachers will contact students’ parents to give students a tour at their own parents’ workplaces From tours like that, students can find out what they like to in the future *From the age of 13 to 19 Teenagers at this stage can babysit at neighbors’ homes in order to get some money for their own (Which is really popular right now in the US) Receiving weekly allowance like this will provide them a fund for further study and prepare for financial independence as well Love is allowed in this period, but they must be in control Even though parents let their children to fall for someone It is necessary for parents to get to know the “stranger” who is dating their beloved child to give their children useful advices After finishing High School, a child can decide whether to work right away or sitting down for the SAT test (A test which is quite like the GCSE test) Parents will only give their children advices which they believe are good for their children But after all, even if they like it or not, they will support their children with a hundred percent and encourage their beloved children to follow their dreams By the law, at the age of 18, a young adult can decide his/her own fate, so that is everything a good father or mother can for their little children 2.3 Differences *From the age of to While lullaby songs are quite popular in Vietnam, bed time stories (Or fairy tales) are more preferred in America “Tough Love” may be the way that we to teach a child at this period in Vietnam, but parents in America would love to sit down for hours and talk with their children about what they can or can’t and persuade them to it You can also recognize that a child in the US will always have their own room at the age of 4, while some children in Vietnam still sleep with their parents on the same bed every night *From the age of to 12 First and foremost, we can see that a child can have full independence about studying at school, controlling their room and even the right to earn some money for their own in the US Parents don’t put too much weight on their children’s shoulders about marks in tests or how well they perform at school Extra class is also not existed in the mind of parents, which give them more time to communicate with their children They focus on finding the talents of their children and develop them, or just help their children finding out what they truly like to In Vietnam, on the other hand, parents are focusing more on lessons at school They believe that red marks on tests are the only measures for the studying process of their children With the hope for their children to get mark 10 in every single tests, parents send their children to extra classes whenever it is not school time That is the reason why generation gap is created in this period *From the age of 13 to 19 While a 13 year old child in Vietnam is still considered to be too small for anything A child at the same age in the US can have the right to babysit someone for money Babysitting, while being a popular part time job, is also considered as a “parenting simulator” It is believed that it will help teenagers to understand how hard it is for their parents to take care of them Teenagers at this stage in America are also encouraged to get to know better about their interests in life besides learning at school At the age of 18, teenagers in Vietnam get into the GCSE test, which is believed as the most important test ever in the minds of parents Parents mostly will tell their children to take the test rather than graduating then starting to find a job If the child fails to pass the test or his score is not enough to attend an university that they want, their parents usually persuade them to it again next year In America, at the age of 19, children is allowed to choose, whether to take the SAT test, or find a job right after graduating high school Even if they fail the test, they can even find a job after that as well Parents will only give them advices Following or doing it their own way is their choice 10 2.4 Summary From all the differences have been shown above, I have placed differences in raising a child between Vietnam and America in some main points: *Independence instead of total control This is the key point in the way that parents in America raise their children A child is given independence since the age of with a separate room and then other things as they grow older Through independence, children learn their own values and even have responsibilities for themselves The clever thing about this key point is that independence is given to a child one by one, which give them a belief that they are growing up so their parents start giving them more freedom and choices That will teach the child to grow up faster and be able to make better decisions when his/her parents are not around While in Vietnam, everything that a child must be through the hands of his/her parents *Talking and persuading instead of forceful solutions In America, if a child gets a hit from his/her parents He/she has the right to meet his/her parents at the court But that is not the main point here Parents in America only use “Being Grounded” as the highest form of punishment on their own children They spend time to talk with their children because they know that before being a father or mother, they used to be a child longer than their children But this method only works if parents give independence in the right way for their children I don’t mean that it is wrong to teach your children with a stick on your hand I was raised up by a traditional Vietnamese couple including a teacher and an electrical engineer, so somehow I understand how useful to teach your children with a stick But after all, if I become a father in the future, I’d love to try the way of the Americans *Be a friend and an advisor, not ancestors 11 Communication between parents and children is the only way that can prevent the generation gap to grow But communication can only happen if parents follow the two steps that I have pointed out above While in Vietnam, because of stories like “At your age, I didn’t have a lot of fun like this!, children start looking at their parents like they are looking at people from the Ancient Time This situation leads children to talk about their problems to their friends rather than their parents *Everything goes in a plan and must be flexible, not in your own way From all the points that I have shown above, you can see that all the “moves” that parents use to teach children in America are carefully executed step by step, but things are really flexible This may sounds like a plot but this is good a child in general The center of this plan is not parents, but children They focus on helping the children to develop their potentials, not everything While on the other hand, parents in Vietnam mainly focuses more on themselves I know this may sounds unfair, but please take a look here Children don’t want to go to extra classes Parents send them to classes after school time Children don’t really want to learn too much, they want to have more time to discover the world, while parents want their children to them both by sitting down and prepare for an exam The GCSE test is only a test just like any other tests Because parents consider it the most important test of all time, so children are stressed by that idea What I have to admire about parents in America is that they raise their children just like they are selling a product with very effective strategies When you sell a product, it’s not about the fact whether you can sell your product or not, but what you want your customers to have They focus on giving their children the values just like sellers trying to get customers to understand the values of a product By saying that, it means parents don’t have to use the force to make their children understand, they persuade their children to understand their points of right and wrong But after all, children’s decisions are still respected by parents 12 III Conclusion The ways parents raise their beloved children, but there is only one purpose: “To raise a child and help him/her to fully develop not just the physical, but the mind as well” I was raised up by a family in Vietnam, and I’m always grateful because Buddha gave me a chance to be raised by a couple of wonderful parents They taught me with countless of whooping and slaps, but without it, I would never be the guy who is writing this research paper I’m also really surprised to know that even though a child from any country can get the same problems in the growing process, from being less obedient to puberty, but the ways parents from each country deal with them are not the same This is another proof for the affection of culture in general and culture diversity in the daily life in each country in the world But most importantly, it is the reason why we have a subject to study about it, and I must say I must have been really lucky to know about this subject In my mind, I have always wanted to be treated like a kid from America I believe it would be less painful if you can teach a child without a whoop To me, love is all about sharing and feeling, not fear In the future, I would love to raise my children by the American’s way I hope that this research paper has given readers something new about raising their own children, or a few steps for preparation I have learnt a lot through this assignment and I must say that it will help me a lot in the future to become a good father for my own children THE END! Thank You For Reading 12 References Ngôn Giáo Dục Công Giáo: “Nhiệm vụ quyền lợi bất khả nhượng cha mẹ giáo dục cái” (GD 6) Khổng Tử: “Sinh chẳng dạy, chẳng răn, ni lợn cho ăn lấy lịng” Some useful information from The Society Of Major English – Speaking Countries: The United States Of America – Unit 4: Education In The United States Notice: I have translated those citations into much more simple words than the original version so people who are amateurs in the field of raising children and common readers can understand them easier I’ve tried my best to make them as easy as possible to understand without changing their meanings ... point of view, the author of this research paper realized that because of the culture of each country is different, so the culture in raising a child of each country is also different I''m an English... Background 1.1 Definitions and the importance of raising a child 1.2 Growing stages of a child from the age of 1to 19 Analysis about raising a child in Vietnam and in America 2.1... teachers of any child are their parents About the importance of raising a child, it is written in The Catholic Education Statement that “The first and undeniable task, as well as the right of parents