. Lieu CO phai tre thieu ky nang? Co the la do thai do cua
va Tammy (ban cua eon gai toi) se khong nghitdi viec di chuyen no ra khoi loi di." Chae ehSn nhii vay, chiing chd
chuyen no ra khoi loi di." Chae ehSn nhii vay, chiing chdi v6i nhau, an toi, thay do ngu, an bSp rang, va nghe nhac, d trong va ngoai phong suo't dem, nhitng khong he nhan thay cai ghe va di chuyen ghe, tham chi la dich chiec ghe sang mot ben. Chung treo len ghe va chay vong quanh chiec ghe ca toi do. Bdi vi nhin thay rac va sii Ion xon la mot ky nang thiJdng xuyen phai dUdc huan luyen, ciing
giohg nhif viec buoc day giay, no phai difdc hif6ng d i n ,
h u a n luyen, luyen tap va nhac l a i . , . L i e u t r e c6 bufdng b i n h ? Robert L . D e B u r n goi y
r a n g c6 ba can t r ^ trong viec day tre: diing len mot chijfng
c6 (kiem c6), phan doi va phan nan. Co the se tot neu
h i e u ro n h i i n g rao chan trxidc k h i quyet d i n h liia chon
each nao: giam yeu cau, thay doi cong viec, hay la can p h a i luyen tap them.
Diifa tre thudng lay cd se hay phan iing: "Con khong
CO t h d i gian de don giifdng" hay la "Con se don sach nha
tim vao ngay m a i . " Neu cong viec do can phai difdc l a m ,
ban CO the dap l a i la: "Chung ta se cung chd biSa sang
trong k h i con don giifdng" hay "Con c6 the l a m sach nha
tim luc t i v i chieu p h i m toi nay." M o t dufa tre hay k i e m
c6 t r o n viec thifdng the hien sii t h i e u nhiet t i n h va can stf t h a u hieu cua ban, neu ban muon lay l a i h i i n g t h u cua
tre. H a y co g i n g xvL s\i t h a t b i n h t i n h , nhifng c6 giai phap
ngay, va sau do danh t h d i gian de thao l u a n t h a t cdi md ve ly do thiic svf dang sau viec kiem cd ay. L i e u tre c6 cam t h a y cong viec du:dc phan cong qua nang? Lieu c6 siic ep bat ngd nao do d trUdng? L i e u mot cong viec nhieu trach nhiem hdn c6 mang l a i hijtng t h i i va y nghia?
Tre con c6 the cam thay siic ep to Idn tii bai tap d
triJdng, thay c6 giao, ban be va doi nhom. Con gai Sue cua toi nhd r ^ n g mot thay giao day khoa hoc da biic boi
v i n h i i n g d\i an nhom iuon b i tre. Thay muon c6 be p h a i
chuan bi moi t h i l cho gid hoc cua thay, va c6' t i n h p h a n
r a t n h i e u bai tap kho trCing vdi thdi g i a n dien r a l l hoi am n h a c va b o a n h a c . Neu t i n h t r a n g tUdng t u c u n g xay r a d n h a se chi d i n t d i nhiJng moi bat h o a t r o n g gia d i n h . H a y co" g&ng hieu n g u y e n n h a n ciia nhiJEng Idi k i e m c6
ciia tre. L i i a chon tot n h a t se giohg n h u dieu c h i n h hay t h a y doi cong viec, h d n la co' t i n h ep tre l a m cong viec da phan cong do.
Tre k i e m cd hoac chohg l a i cac cong viec dvfdc phan
cong de gay chu y n h i e u hdn txi cha me, n h i e u su£ t r d
giiip t r d n g cong viec, hay n h i e u t h d i gian hdn de hoan t h a n h cong viec do. " N h i f n g con khong the l a m dvfdc." "Nhufng con p h a i tap piano bay gid." " N h i i n g Tom dang den. Con khong the l a m diidc." L d i phan doi c6 the c6 gia t r i . H a y l&ng nghe t h a t can t h a n va sau do dieu chinh theo. T h a t d l de bien ldi bao chQa t h a n h mot l y le, v i
the hay t r a n h dieu nay hang each doi hoi con ban giai
t h i c h ro r a n g hdn. N e u ldi bao chiia cho t h a y sil xuc dong m a n h , an u i tre mot each nhe nhang. Tao sii t i n tiicing, va k h e n ngdi t r e ve n h i i n g diem tot (chac chan t r e phai
C O mot v a i diem tot) va sau do t h u y e t phuc r ^ n g cong viec do can phai diidc hoan t h a n h .
K y t h u a t "bang re" c6 the diidc ap dung vdi tre k h i chung khong chiu l a m cong viec diidc phan cong. Ban
CO the chiu difdc bao l a u mot cuon bang x\idc h a t di hat
l a i mot cau hat " t i n h yeu se, t i n h yeu se, t i n h yeu se,
t i n h yeu se..."? G i a i phap d day la bo qua ch6 do va nghe
"bang re" do vdi con cua minh. Camille khong chiu rvia
bat ca ngay, thay vao do c6 be nhom nhoam nhai banh, noi chuyen v6i ban qua dien thoai, va doc mot cuoh sach yeu thi'ch. 4 gid chieu, me c6 be biet nha bep can phai diidc don sach de chuan bi bUa toi vao luc 5 gid. Me noi,
"Camille, hay rxia. bat ngay!" Camille dap lai v6i mot Idi
bao chQa va mot anh m^t nhuf the noi: "Ai, con a!" Me c6
nhac lai rat ro rang v a binh than: "Camille, hay rxia bat ngay!" Sau nhieu Ian lap di lap lai, Camille quyet dinh se rvfa bat thay vi tiep tuc phai nghe nhi3ng Idi yeu cau,
vi the da dvfng diidc "bang re". Bien phap nay doi hoi mot
menh lenh binh tinh, chic chin va khong cam xuc ttf
phia cha me, voti mot yeu cau ro rang, tnic tiep, ddn gian ve nhilng gi can phai lam. Mot khi doan bang re da qua,
hay dUa r a Idi khuyen khich dong vien khi cong viec tien trien tot va khen ngdi khi cong viec hoan thanh. Sii dung
bien phap nay khi mot tinh huong khong the diing dUdc
n-fla v a can phai triic tiep yeu cau [tre]. "Bang re" khong giong nhu: Idi ca than. Ca than se lien quan tdi viec tim lei v a lien tuc nhac di nhSc lai sii viec v a c6 the keo dai ca
ngay. "Bang re" chi ijfng dung cho hanh dong tiic thi. Mot khi hanh dong da dat dUdc, hay cat bang di v a thay doi
giong noi sang tong khen ngdi v a khuyen khich.
Tre hay phan n a n la kho t r i v a gay phien h a nhieu nhat. Bdi vi mot Idi phan n a n c6 ly thi de doa cai toi cua cha me. "Con phai lam nhieu viec hdn bat ciL ngiidi ban nao cua Cdn?" "Tai sao Mary khong lam viec nay thay
con? Nhu the la khong cong bang!" Tre phan n a n thifdng
hay that vong, nhvfng khong phai thifdng that vong ve
nhiJng gi chiing dang phan nan. Michelle c6 the phan nan ve viec rxia bat nhvfng lai that vong ve diem thi mon
lich sii thap. LSng nghe tre c6 the giiip lam ro tinh huohg hay la Idi phan nan md hd. Napoleon noi: "Khi moi ngutdi ngufng phan nan, ho ngUng suy nghi." Neu Idi phan nan difdc chilng minh bang stf that, hay chinh svLa kip thdi va diing sd phai thii nhan rang ban da sai.
Ngay ca ngufdi Idn cung sut dung cd, Idi phan doi va phan nan de t r i hoan lam mot viec khong thii vi. Ban c6
the day tre va chung c6 the hoc hoi dvTdc nhieu bang viec ban hieu ly do m a chung diia ra de khong lam mot viec
da difdc phan cong. - .„,. > ' Lieu con ban c6 tri hoan cong viec? Mot so' sU t r i
hoan cong viec dvfdng nhii binh thUdng giiia chiing ta.
Meo d day la phai ngan viec tri hoan bien thanh mot thoi quen. De lam dvfdc viec do, hay hoc each nhan ra cac hien tUdng, nguyen nhan c6 the, va roi tap trung vao mot so'
giai phap de ngan chan xu hvfdng t r i hoan.