The wedding custom of vietnamese people and english people = phong tục cưới hỏi của người việt nam và người anh tertiary level scientific research project year 2007 – 2008

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VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY — HO CHI MINH CITY UNIVERSITY OF SOCIAL SCIENCES AND HUMANITIES

TERTIARY LEVEL

SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH PROJECT YEAR 2007 — 2008

THE WEDDING CUSTOM OF VIETNAMESE PEOPLE AND

ENGLISH PEOPLE

VO THI NU CHAU NGUYEN TRAN DUC HUY

TRAN THI TUYET MAI LAM NGUYEN HANH UYEN

NGUYEN THI BICH VY

Supervisor: Ms VO THI HOANG MAI

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1.2.1 Stages of Vietnamese wedding custom

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2.1 British engagement and wedding ceremony

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2.2.1 Wedding Cakes ccccccccsssssssseceeeeeeceeeeeeeesessssssaees 25

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1 The problem and rationale:

Vietnam is now on the way to get integrated into the world The word “integration” has been used more often since Vietnam became an official member of the Association of South-East Asian Nations (ASEAN), the United Nations (UN), and the World Trade Organisation (WTO) Studying other

countries’ cultures is an important step in the integration process

In addition, in the modern age, there have been many English people who work and live in Vietnam, and vice versa From this relationship, there are more weddings between Vietnamese people and English people

Therefore, knowing the wedding customs of English people is quite important to those majoring in English in particular and Vietnamese people in general One more point which should be mentioned is whether the wedding customs of English people have influenced those of Vietnamese people or not and in what ways Vietnamese wedding customs have been influenced

2 Aims and objectives:

There have been many research and articles about the wedding custom of English people and Vietnamese people However, researchers just mention the wedding customs of English people or Vietnamese people; they did not do any research on whether the wedding custom of Vietnamese people is influenced by that of English people In this research, we hope to give an answer to this question

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In addition, we also hope that this research will help readers more confident when communicating with foreigners, especially English people since this research may be an overview of a part of English culture and

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CUSTOM

1.1 Vietnamese wedding custom in the past

In the past, especially among the upper classes, a marriage was arranged not by the couple themselves but by their families The purpose of marriage was not only the settlement of the couple’s life but also the establishment of an

alliance between two families

According to “Tho mai gia lễ” by Hồ Sỹ Tan (cited in Pham Con Son, 2007: 33), a traditional wedding has six etiquettes: nap thai, van danh, nap te, thinh ki, and nghenh hon

1.1.1 Nap Thai etiquette (Lé Nap Thai):

Nap Thai etiquette is also called Cham Ngo etiquette (lé Cham Ngé) This etiquette is the first time members of groom’s family (or matchmaker) and groom visits bride’s family to formally propose marriage to her In this etiquette, the groom’s family has to present to the bride’s family with betel

leaves, betel-nuts, Vietnamese rice wine and tea

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1.1.2 Van Danh etiquette (Lé Van Danh):

Van Danh, which also takes place in the bride’s family, is the etiquette after Nap Thai The Van Danh etiquette is also called An Hoi where names and ages of prospective brides and grooms are exchanged Then the two families would compare the bride’s age with the groom’s age in order to decide whether they have compatible ages for marriage or not In the Van Danh etiquette, the couple is formally introduced to each other and to their future spouse’s family

as betrothed

This is also the time for two families, especially the parents, to get to

know each other Besides betel leaves, betel-nuts, Vietnamese rice wine and

tea, the groom’s family has to present Xoi Ga (steamed glutinous rice mixed with chicken), a roast pork and cakes Moreover, Su Se cakes (a special kind of green - colored pastry used for Vietnamese wedding) and Com cakes (grilled cakes of fresh rice) are also required The Su Se cake with the green colour symbolizes for Yang and the Com cake with the white colour symbolizes for Yin According to Vietnamese custom, the harmony of Yin and Yang means the harmony of the nature

On this day, the bride’s family would require wedding presents from the future groom’s family The couple could only be formally married, if the groom’s family can satisfy all of these requirements The presents usually are a couple of gold ear-rings, a couple of gold rings, blankets, flowered sedge mats,

clothes, etc

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1.1.3 Nap Cat etiquette (Lé Nap Cat):

In the Nap Cat etiquette, the groom’s family will inform the bride’s family about the best day for receiving bride

1.1.4 Nap Te etiquette (Lé Nạp Tệ):

At the appointed time and date, the representation of the bride’s family brings what the bride’s family has exacted in the Van Danh ceremony

1.1.5 Thinh Ki etiquette (Lé Thinh Ki):

On the wedding day before receiving bride time, the groom's mother along with a few other close relatives would make a trip to the bride's home, carrying a tray of betel and a bottle of Vietnamese rice wine The groom’s mother would officially ask permission to "receive" the bride and then confirm the time that the procession would arrive to bring the bride to her new home

1.1.6 Nghenh Hon etiquette (Lé Nghénh Hén):

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Interestingly, in the past the groom's mother did not take part in the procession as a sign that she would not be a threat to the future bride (and she would even hide for a short period upon the bride's welcome into the groom's home) However, this practice has long been abandoned

Wedding rituals are performed before the ancestral altars of two families The couple then officially becomes husband and wife

In Vietnamese traditional wedding custom, there was another etiquette, which was called cheo etiquette (lé cheo) Cheo etiquette was held before or after the Nghinh H6n etiquette, the groom’s family offered some gifts or a sum of money to the bride’s village In the past, only after this etiquette, the wedding was officially certified by the bride’s villagers

5 ‘

Picture 1.3: Nghenh Hon etiquette

1.2 Vietnamese wedding custom in the modern times:

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e The first is life condition The life is now more and more civilized and modern Vietnamese people find that the old wedding customs are complex and unnecessary to organize all of them On the other hand, bride’s and bridegroom’s family also want to reduce wedding expenses for useful purposes after wedding

e The second is Party and Government’s regulation to carry out “a solemn, healthy and economical wedding”

Cutting out some unnecessary etiquette not only brings about economy for bride’s and bridegroom’s families, but also reduces some social evils which appear through some etiquette such as exacting wedding-presents in some village communities, etc

1.2.1 Stages of Vietnamese wedding custom in modern

times:

From 1997 to now (2008), Vietnamese weddings usually have three following etiquettes: Cham Ngo etiquette (Lé Cham Ng6), Hoi etiquette (Lé Hỏi), Cuoi ettiquette (Lễ Cưới)

1.2.1.1 Cham Ngo Etiquette (Proposal etiquette)

Nowadays, bride and bridegroom’s marriages are based on their love They know each other by sight That’s the reason why Cham Ngo etiquette (Lé Cham Ng6) is no longer an occasion for the bridegroom meets the bride and versus This is the first time bridegroom’s family come to bride’s family to see each other The bridegroom’s family will bring bride’s family offerings such as

tea, wine, fruits, pork pies and fermented pork roll, etc This visit completely is

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II

1.2.1.2 Hoi Etiquette (Lé Héi, Engagement Etiquette)

When two families decide an appropriate day, Le Hoi (Engagement Etiquette) will be organized Bridegroom’s family often brings bride’s family six trays including betel and areca, tea and wine, fruits, pork pie and pork roll, jewelry, and cakes (may be yellow-colored wedding pastry, green rice flake

cake or cream cake, etc.)

Picture 1.4 a, b, c, d: Wedding offerings

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let off before bride’s father invites bridegroom’s family to enter his house However, the Vietnamese Government has forbidden letting off firecrackers because of their harmful effects Therefore, balloons are used to replace firecrackers nowadays On engagement etiquette day, bride and bridegroom will wear traditional Ao Dai and Khan dong (turban) in the ceremony

Picture 1.5a: The bride and bridegroom in Ao Dai and Khăn Đóng

In recent years, the bridegroom preferred wearing suit to dress and

turban

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some offerings to give back for bridegroom’s family The rest will be divided for immediate family and other relatives About one or two weeks before wedding day, wedding announcement cards (wedding invitation) will be sent to guests for announcing the wedding day, wedding time and wedding place, and inviting them

Picture 1.6: Wedding invitation

1.2.1.3 Cưới etiquette (Lé cuéi, Wedding Etiquette)

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Picture 1.7: Bride and groom’s clothes in wedding party

In modern weddings, musical bands are often invited to sing and dance Therefore, the atmosphere of weddings is much livelier After wedding, the couple will enjoy their “honey moon” To them, this is a private and meaningful time

Picture 1.8: Honeymoon in Dalat

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1.2.2 Some differences between the modern Vietnamese

weddings and the past ones

In the past, there were six etiquettes for a wedding (Nap Thai, Van Danh, Nap Cat, Nap Te, Thinh Ky, Nghenh Hon) but in the modern times, there

are only three (Cham Ngo, Le Hoi, Cuoi)

In the past, after Le Hoi (Engagement Etiquette), the bride and the bridegroom were not allowed to meet each other but now they freely meet each other

On the wedding day, bridegroom’s mother did not come to the bride’s house, hiding at the corner with a lime-pot on her hands It is to avoid conflicts between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, but this custom does not exist now

Besides the old kind of party (sitting at tables which was prepared in advance), a new kind of party appears That is kind of buffet — foods is arranged into long rows and everyone will stand during wedding party This kind of party is very popular in collective weddings because it is economical

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Picture 1.10: Bride and bridegroom are often the first two people signing on the

beautiful cloth

e Wedding dress now is more multiform The brides often wear soirées at the party but they still wear 4o dai and khan dong in the traditional ceremony e Originated from the Western, honeymoon is very popular in Vietnam now

The couple enjoys their honeymoon right after their wedding The vacation did not exist in the past

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CHAPTER II: BRITISH WEDDING CUSTOM

In chapter I “Vietnamese wedding custom”, we have divided into two main parts; they are “Vietnamese wedding ceremony in the past’ and “Vietnamese wedding ceremony in modern times” because custom and rites in engagement and wedding celebration in old days and in modern ages have many changes They have been less complicated, and have cultural acquirement from other countries Whereas, chapter II “British wedding custom” has a different setting because from ancient times to the present, custom and rites in engagement and wedding in Britain in particular, and in Europe in general have hardly changed The information below is extracted from The Book of Days by Adrian Wallwork and two websites: www.weddings.co.uk and www.weddings.co.uk

2.1 British engagement and wedding ceremony and

some related custom and rites 2.1.1 Engagement ceremony

There is a proverb that: “marriage halves our grief, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.” Therefore, marital decision is one of the most important ones in our lives However, in the past, couples who fell in love with each other could seldom decide their marriage on their own Their marriage must be accepted by their parents as well as their relatives

Normally, the man did not make a proposal by himself; he asked one of his close friends or his relatives to express his aspiration to his sweat-heart in front of her family In British custom, if they see a blind man, or a pregnant woman, that proposal will not be accepted, because those omens will bring bad luck However, if they see a she-goat or a pigeon or wolf, it is a lucky thing

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Engagement has become more romantic, because along with proposal, the man gives his sweatheart a ring Engagement is a procedure as well as the first step leading them to their wedding

After the proposal was accepted, the girl’s surname will be changed into her would-be husband However, this surname is called after the marriage

2.1.2 Preparations for weddings

The next thing is choosing the day to celebrate the wedding Nowadays, most weddings often take place on Saturdays because everybody is off on that day However, in the past, Saturday and Friday, especially Friday the 13" were considered unlucky Besides, June was considered to be a lucky month to marry in because it is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage And, the summer as a whole was considered a good time to marry and this is partly to do with the sun’s association with fertility

As we have mentioned above, the wedding must be carefully prepared because it is one of the most important events in our life Wedding preparation

includes preparation of wedding cards, wedding dress, flowers, etc e Wedding cards B ee a ` ^ (aeons * 7 Ƒ f & 3» Ps s ram j <a » z 6 = ee “£ ` = —— ~ a oe ra xà + oa _ “=< 5 P us _ <a) = s> z ae! A => Se EeAY Se wn os > i

Picture 2.1: Wedding card

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invitations are mailed in double envelopes The inner envelope may be lined, is not gummed, and fits into the outer envelope The outer envelope is gummed for sealing and addressing Along with the wedding invitation, the ensemble may also include a response card and envelope The response card is traditionally used for gathering totals for the caterer and getting a general of guests attending The recipient is asked to mail back the response card roughly two weeks before the wedding or by the date indicated The envelope is pre- addressed and pre-stamped by the wedding party for ease In addition, a wedding invitation often includes a map or direction card, and accommodation information Besides, wedding invitation may be printed using one of the following methods: engraving, lithography, thermography, letterpress printing and sometimes blind embossing In particular, hand-made wedding invitation has become increasingly popular due to the rise in popularity to the cardmaking and scrapbooking craft hobbies

e Wedding gifts

Picture 2.2: Wedding gifts

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posted or delivered before the date of the wedding itself When the gifts come in, the bride should acknowledge each present on arrival Besides, wedding gifts may be replaced by money

e Wedding dress

Traditionally, the bride’s dress should have “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” and “a silver sixpence in the bride ’s shoe’ The “something o/d” represents for the couple’s stability in their marriage The old was often an old garter which was given to the bride by a happily married woman in the hope that the happiness in her marriage would be passed on to the new bride The “something new” symbolizes the newly-weds’ happy and prosperous future The “something borrowed” is often lent by the bride’s family and is an item much valued by the family The bride must return the item to ensure good luck The custom of the bride wearing ‘something blue’ originated in ancient Israel where the bride wore a blue ribbon in her hair to represent fidelity And the placing of a silver sixpence in the bride’s shoe was to ensure wealth in the couples married life Nowadays, some brides substitute a penny in their shoe during the ceremony as silver sixpences are less common

While the grooms often wear a black suit, most brides often wear white wedding dresses because it represents maidenhood A green dress is not worn because that the green dress is thought to be unlucky

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In order to protect the bride from evil spirits, and unlucky things, the veil became popular in Britain in 1980s The veil is also associated with modesty and chastity

— Picture 2.4: The bride with a veil

e Flowers

Flowers are an indispensable thing in wedding ceremony Some people choose flowers on the basis of their symbolic meaning For instance, orange blossom has always been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity

Picture 2.5: Wedding flowers

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superstitious because they stand for blood and bandages Meanwhile, roses symbolize love and snowdrops represent hope

The groom often chooses a flower for his buttonhole which also occurs in the bride’s bouquet

e Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

Picture 2.6: Bride — bridegroom and bridesmaids and groomsmen Bride and Groom often need the help of bridesmaids and groomsmen Bride chooses her sister or her close friend as a bridesmaid Bridesmaids are often young girls who were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the same reason as the origin of veil The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and thus protect the bride And the groom also chooses a groomsman for himself to help him with wedding celebration

2.1.3 Wedding ceremony

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Picture 2.7: Wedding ceremony at the church

The ceremony shows here is extracted from the 2001 Marriage Service from the Book of Common Worship

The bride and groom stand before the Catholic priest, who will say: “Jn the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we have come together to witness the marriage of .and ., to pray for God’s blessing on them, to share their joy and to celebrate their love.”

ề

The priest says to the couple: “ , will you take to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”

The groom answers “J will”

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The priest then says to the bride: “ , will you take to be your

husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and protect him, and,

forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?” The bride answers “J will”

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and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever All Amen.”

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The priest introduces the vows in these or similar words: “ and ., I now invite you to join hands and make your vows, in the presence of God and his people.”

The bride and bridegroom face each other The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his and says: “J, , take you, ., to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according

to God’s holy law; In the presence of God I make this vow”’

The bride and groom loose hands, and the bride takes the groom’s right

hand in hers and says: “/, , take you, ., to be my husband, to have and to

hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in

sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to

God's holy law; In the presence of God I make this vow”

The couple loose hands again The priest receives the ring(s) from the best man and says: “Heavenly Father, by your blessing, let these rings be to and a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they may have made this day; through Jesus Christ our

Lord Amen.”

The groom places the ring on the bride’s fourth finger of her left hand

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(counting the thumb) While holding it, the groom says: “ , / give you this ring as a sign of our marriage With my body I honor you, all that I am I give to

you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son,

and Holy Spirit.”

The couple may choose to exchange just one ring, in which case the

ề

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If two rings are exchanged, they loose hands and the bride places a ring on the fourth finger of the groom’s left hand While holding it, she says: “ , / give you this ring as a sign of our marriage With my body I honor you, all that Iam I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

The priest next joins to the couple’s right hands together and says: “Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.”

And then, the bride and groom are required to sign the register to make the marriage legal Two witnesses are required to be present at the ceremony, and also sign the register Traditionally, the best man and chief bridesmaid witness the signing of the register, but you can bestow this honor on favored family members if you wish

Wedding ceremony is so important to them that every couple always wants their wedding to become special and unique with their inspiration As we have mentioned above, church has been considered as the traditional place to celebrate wedding ceremony In addition, wedding ceremony has been held in other places, such as in a Register Office, in a garden, at home, at a hilltop, in a park, or at the beach Even it may be in a hospital if one partner is unable to leave or is detained there as a psychiatric inpatient or in a prison if one partner is a prisoner Nowadays, young couples can also celebrate their wedding on the ship or even under the sea In general, people can set up their most specially time in their lives at many various places, which depends on their taste and condition, but church is still the traditional and best place for wedding

2.2 Wedding parties

2.2.1 Wedding cakes

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first cut of the cake be performed by bride and groom together After that, the bride must serve all portions to the groom’s family as a symbolic transfer from her own house to her husband house Other guests may then partake of the cake; portions may be taken home or shipped to people who missed the

festivities

Picture 2.8: The first cut of the wedding cake

An old tradition claimed that if the bridesmaid slept with a piece of wedding cakes beneath her pillow, she might dream of her future husband

However, this custom does not exist now

Wedding cake toppers are often put at the top of wedding cakes Wedding cake toppers are often figured that indicate shared hobbies and passions

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2.2.2 Wedding parties

In England, there is no “right” menu for a wedding meal Nowadays, there are three most common ways to hold an wedding meal

A formal and sit-down dinner is the traddional wedding meal, but it can also be the expensive Guests will sit at a ready-set table and be likely served three courses, along with coffee, wedding cake, wine and champagne Besides a well-planned menu, a sit-down dinner requires a lot of waiting staff However, there are also many benefits of a formal and sit-down wedding meal

Picture 2.10: A traditional wedding party

Firstly, all the guests will have a set place to sit; and someone who does not know many others will not feel left out Last but not least, if we have a large number of guests, a sit-down dinner can be less chaotic than a buffet, and guests will feel more comfortable

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Picture 2.11: Fork buffet

Nowadays, many young couples think that the fork buffet is the best choice because guests are allowed to have more of a decision in what they eat; but the formality of beautifully set tables is still retained Recently, they often divide the wedding party are into different smaller areas for many kinds of food For example, there may be an Indian food stall, a Thai food stall, an Italian food stall, The fork buffet is quite popular in England nowadays because it is considered as the combination of the tradition and the modernity

In addition, one more kind of wedding party which is also popular in England nowadays is the finger buffet

Picture 2.12: Finger buffet

With a finger buffet, guests don't require cutlery and are free to mingle and eat at the same time The food might include things like tasty canapés, delicate sandwiches, individual pastries and dips This is less expensive option, but there are also certain things to consider It is not ideal to expect people to stand for a long duration Some people, especially elderly people, still want to have a seat, regardless of the party requires cutlery or not A well-organized reception with a finger buffet should still offer some seats around tables for

those who want to rest

Three kinds of wedding party which English couples often choose are

mentioned above; however, they also have to decide whether their wedding

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2.2.3 Dancing

Dancing is one of the most important parts in a wedding party in England in particular and in Western countries in general Choosing music is very important to dancing The bride-groom can choose a band, a DJ or just a good loudspeaker for the dancing in their wedding party In most contemporary wedding, waltz and romantic songs are often played The first dance in the party is the bride and groom’s The wedding reception dance party may involve a certain sequence of special dances For example, after the first dance, the groom may escort his bride to her father for a special father/daughter dance Following the various special dance, the guests are invited to join in the dancing Dancing is one of the most remarkable parts in England

Picture: 2.13: Bride and bridegroom are dancing Picture 2.14: Guests are dancing

2.3 Honeymoon

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Picture 2.15: Honeymoon

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CHAPTER II: THE ORIGIN OF WEDDING CUSTOM

We all know that the wedding custom is an aspect of culture In this chapter, we are trying to find the origin of the wedding custom of English and Vietnamese people

3.1 The origin of English wedding custom:

Until 1753, there was no formal state involvement in marriages In Anglo-Saxon times, the bride’s father would lead a public ceremony, called a “bewedding” In this ceremony, the groom and his family offered guarantees to the bride’s guardians that she would be looked after Later, this ceremony is called “weds” Most of English are Catholics That is the reason why most of English weddings have been held in the church in 1500s Moreover, the introduction of Lord Hardwicke’s Marriage Act in 1753 meant that all marriages had to take place in the Church of England

Like other cultural aspects, many English wedding tradition originate in England, some are the results of cultural exchange

Most brides today marry in white dress which symbolizes maidenhood This tradition just started by the rich in the sixteenth century when it was very difficult for the poor to find the white fabric Queen Victoria wore white for her wedding and started the fashion for wearing white Before the white dress was popular, brides often wore their best dress Traditionally, it was thought that the brides would be prevented from the evil and unlucky things if on the wedding day, they wore a veil The veil was originally worn by Roman brides Not until 1800s did the veil become popular in England In England, it was associated with modesty and chastity

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ancient Egyptian civilization sprang up along the fertile flood plains of the river Nile, 4,800 years ago In the Middle Age, in England, rings often could not afford; coins were used instead of rings A broken coin was given to the bride; and the groom kept the other half Later, in England, there was a tradition that grooms slid the wedding rings from the thumb to the index finger, the middle finger, saying “In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit” and putting the ring on the ring finger of brides’ left hands However, until 1950, it was pointed out clearly that the fourth finger of the left hand was officially the wedding ring in “The Book of Common Prayer” written by the son of Henry VIII However, in all the time, the wedding ring is not always on the ring finger of the left hand In the Elizabethan time, brides wore the wedding ring on the thumb

According to English people, it is considered as bad luck if the bride returns to look in the mirror once before she leaves the house for the wedding

ceremony And, if she sees lambs, toads, spiders, black cats, rainbows or a

chimney sweep on the way to the wedding, it brings good luck However, it will be unlucky if she sees an open grave, a pig, a lizard, monks and nuns, or hears a cockerel crow after dawn It may be because they are associated with poverty and chastity

When the bride and the groom enter their new marital home, it is traditional for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold There are a lot of different explanations for this, however, according to the Anglo-Saxon custom, it may be that the groom steals his bride and carries her off

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honeyed almonds These sweetmeats were an important part of the wedding banquet and continued to be so for hundreds of years When Roman invaded Britain in 43A.D, this custom also became a part of English wedding In England, in medieval times, each guest at the wedding was supposed to bring a small cake; the cakes would be stacked on the table in levels and layers The bride and groom would try and kiss over the top of the cakes without toppling them for good luck and prosperity These cake stacks would eventually merge into one cake evolve into the modern icing wedding cake It can be said that the origin of wedding cake is Roman Empire times, but it have developed in England

The word honeymoon has its roots in the Norse word "hjunottsmanathr" which was anything but blissful Honeymoon originated in Northern Europe in circa 433A.D This was the custom in which the newlyweds, for the first month of their marital life, drank a daily cup of honeyed wine called mead In early 19" century Great Britain, the honeymoon was considered as the “bridal tour” In this custom, the newlywed couple would go on a holiday together to visit relatives who would not have attended their weddings They might go with their families, friends This practice soon spread to European continent and was known as voyage a la facon anglaise (English-style voyage) in France from the 1820s on However, honeymoon in modern sense — which is a pure holiday voyage undertaken by the newly married couple and the time for a couple to celebrate their marriage and new life together — began in France in late 19" century Over the history time, the format of the honeymoon has become a lot more civilized and romantic However, from the past to now, honeymoon has kept its original meaning — “the sweetest of life”

3.2 The origin of Vietnamese wedding custom:

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220), the Han culture began to spread into Vietnam Confucianism is a part of Han culture; certainly it soon appeared in Vietnam

Actually, the Confucianism in Vietnam maybe appeared at the end of “Eastern Han” Tich Quang and Nham Dién are two Chinese mandarins who are praised for their civilization of politeness and reason not only in China history but also in Vietnam history

“Song hy” is derived from China and six etiquettes in wedding of Vietnam have also originated in Chinese wedding tradition When Confucianism was introduced to Vietnam, six etiquettes in Vietnamese’s wedding were also formed, similarly to Chinese wedding etiquettes The court played an important role in propagating these six etiquettes into Vietnam Confucianism came to Vietnam in the period of domination by northern invaders Although these wedding etiquettes had their origin in China, the Vietnamese people did not acquire completely Vietnamese weddings also

show the national characters

“Su sé” pastry which is created by Bac Ninh people, northern residents of a province in Vietnam, is one of the integral offerings to Bac Ninh people and also the Vietnamese people generally “Su sé” is a symbol of loyalty Accompany with time, it has become the cultural character of the Vietnamese people Bac Ninh people created “su sé” but Chinese people had a role in putting it on the market

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synonymous with marriage The betel and areca also play an important role in Indian culture especially among Hindus All the traditional ceremonies governing the lives of Hindus use betel and areca For example to pay money to the priest, they keep money in the betel leaves and place it beside the priest

The Vietnamese people have also some rites which bring particular traits

of Vietnam such as “nộp cheo”, “gia coi dén dau”, “trai chiéu”, etc It is

because Vietnamese’s weddings have a close connection with the interests of the village community

For the Vietnamese people, the most important thing is stability of the village community That is the reason why once the wedding takes place, the bridegroom’s family has to give the village community of bride’s family a sum of money which is called “cheo”

When the interests of the village community are satisfied, the couple thinks of their private demand Although wedding is the privacy between the

bride and the bridegroom, it shows the interests of two families So, it is not

simply selecting a person to be a husband or a wife but selecting a symmetrical family These are the specific characteristics of the Vietnamese Everything which relates to an individual also relates to the community, not except to matriage

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meaning, it still exists until now Especially, in Vietnamese weddings, it is a

very important process

Cream wedding cakes which we have seen in Vietnamese weddings nowadays are the product of the Roman This kind of cake has the same origin with cream wedding cake in England

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37

CONCLUSION

From our research, we think that readers can have an overview about the

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BIBLIOGRAPHY:

Vietnamese

I Nguyệt Hạ, Phong tục Hôn lễ, T ang lé, Té lé Vietnam, Nha xuat ban Da

Nang, 2005

2 Thanh Liêm, Phong tục Việt Nam, Phong tục Gia đình — Xã hội, Nhà

xuất bản Văn hoá — Thông tin, 2007

3 Bùi Ngọc Mai, Phong tục Việt Nam xưa và nay, Nhà xuất bản Văn hoá — Thông tin, 2004

4 Bùi Xuân Mỹ - Phạm Minh Thảo, 7c cưới hỏi ở Việt Nam, Nhà xuất

bản Văn hố — Thơng tin, 2006

5 Phạm Côn Sơn, Gia lễ xưa nay, Nhà xuất ban Thanh niên, 2007

6 Tran Ngọc Thêm, Cơ sở Van hoá Việt Nam, Nhà xuất bản Giáo dục, 1999

English:

1 Adrian Wallwork, The Book of Days, Cambridge University Press, 2001 2 Daniel Diehl — Mark Donnelly, Medieval Celebrations: How to Plan

Holidays, Weddings, and Reenactments with Recipes, Customs, Costumes, Decorations, Songs, Dances, and Games, Stackpole Books,U.S., 2001

3 Simon R Charsley, Wedding Cakes and Cultural History, Taylor &

Francis, Inc., 1992