UK EDITION P K Transform yourself: Join our Mindful Health Club 20 O £ 50 SAY YES TO YOU! No more people pleasing LIFE SCHOOL Get on with your parents O Have a great first date O Overcome impostor syndrome O 16-PAGE DOSSIER LOVE your life Right here, right now HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT FRIENDSHIPS INTERVIEW Blake Lively On feeling shy but being confident Stop sabotaging YOUR CAREER You can learn the four secrets to professional success What’s stopping you from moving up at work? Experience more on a short break hoseasons.co.uk CELEBR ATING 75 YE ARS Bubbling hot tubs | Spa resorts | Romantic escapes Contents APRIL 2019 Page 100 * COVER STORY REGULARS Page 26 Page 17 Page 52 Page 19 Page 20 Page 62 Page 64 Page 48 EDITOR’S LET TER LET TERS I’D LIKE TO THANK … 11 THE FIX 19 * 38 DIARY HARRIET MINTER 106 THE WORDS Cover: Art Streiber/August 130 HAPPINESS BOOK CLUB 20 * INTERVIEW Blake Lively Be part of our club! Our online coaching club is free to all subscribers (see page 80) Access interactive videos, podcasts and downloadable workbooks, plus join a kind community of like-minded people Change your life at psychologies.co.uk/lifeleap-club-new-subscribers “Even as a little girl, I would think, ‘It’s a good day to be happy!’” FEATURES 17 * SAY YES TO YOU * LOVE YOUR BRILLIANT LIFE Author Debbie Chapman shares the importance of setting boundaries 26 Suzy Bashford has an epiphany and remembers to count her blessings 30 MY LIFE, MY WAY Love, family and gin… Kate Griffin’s recipe for success and fulfilment PHOTOGRAPH: LUMINA/STOCKSY 40 SHARED VALUES The guiding principles and passions of bestselling author Kate Mosse 42 MY DOG, MY FRIEND, MY MIRROR Suzy Walker takes her needy pet to therapy and learns about herself 48 FREE GIFT WORTH * YOU ARE NOT AN IMPOSTOR UKCP’s Sarah Niblock examines the damaging effects of low self-esteem 64 * THE DOSSIER Stop sabotaging your career 66 TIME TO SHOW THEM WHAT YOU’VE GOT Anita Chaudhuri explores five common ways you may be scuppering your career, and what you can about them 72 FREE ‘HOW TO SAY NO AT WORK’ COURSE Editor-in-Chief Suzy Walker issues an exclusive invitation to form your own Life Leap Club, and step into your power 74 ‘MY BOSS GAVE ME CONFIDENCE’ Brave reader Esme Gibbons decided that if her manager believed in her, she should the same – then she took a life-changing risk 76 WHAT’S REALLY STANDING IN YOUR WAY? Take our insightful test to find out what limiting behaviour is keeping you stuck and how you can finally shine professionally £31.90 A P R I L P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E Contents APRIL 2019 FEATURES 50 ‘I DON’T FEEL POSITIVE ABOUT THE FUTURE’ Agony aunt Mary Fenwick assists three readers, including an overwhelmed mature student 52 * NEGOTIATING DIFFICULT FRIENDSHIPS ‘Ambivalent’ friends can hurt us but, with a shift in mindset, we can still be pals, says Suzanne Scott 57 ORGASMIC LIFE: BARING ALL Karla Newbey’s sexual journey continues 58 ‘I DON’T TRUST MY OWN OPINIONS’ Award-winning coach Kim Morgan mentors a woman crippled by indecision and self-doubt 62 * SO… DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? Straight-talking Oliver Burkeman has the Last Word on warding off first-date awkwardness THE RETREAT 108 RUNNING E VEREST Adventurer Alice Morrison signs up for a six-day ultra marathon on the world’s tallest mountain 112 WILD LONDON On the trail of animals and art, Danielle Woodward laps up a few foxy tales along the River Thames 114 LIVE YOUR DREAMS Let your home tell the unique story of your life 122 84 Sign up now! Get your weekly fix! WHEN YOU’RE TRYING to create positive change, it can be challenging to stay on track So, sign up for our weekly uplifting dose of inspiration, with videos from top coaches, practical articles on how to thrive, not just survive, and inspirational and joy-filled quotes to brighten your inbox, and your week Go to bit.ly/2KN0B8z P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E A P R I L THE PL AN Expert advice in four holistic sections – Mind, Body, Spirit and Gut – for happiness, and pleasure 91 THE OPEN MIND Wellbeing Director-at-Large Eminé Kali Rushton happens upon the essence of homely comfort BARGAIN DISH OF THE DAY: SELF-LOVE STEW Delicious recipes that won’t break the bank, in the inimitable style of writer and activist Jack Monroe PHOTOGRAPH: STOCKSY #360ME 92 ‘I FELT LIKE A FAILURE AS A WOMAN’ Mysterious condition vulvodynia caused misery for Rebecca Pearson, until she was diagnosed 97 ECO WORRIER Ellen Tout seeks out conscious menstrual choices in her bid to help save our plastic-clogged oceans 99 FEEL BE AUTIFUL Prepare your skin for a spring reawakening 10 * JOIN OUR MINDFUL HE ALTH CLUB It’s time to create your unique wellness plan: 12 months of beneficial habits to revolutionise your health with our Editor-at-Large, Ali Roff 103 RE AL NUTRITION Our Nutrition Editor, Eve Kalinik, gets to the root of what’s so wonderful about the humble turnip Kelsey Media, Cudham Tithe Barn, Berry’s Hill, Cudham, Kent TN16 3AG (01959 541444, email letters@psychologies.co.uk) CONTRIBUTORS OUR TEAM Editor-in-Chief Suzy Walker Design Director Lynne Lanning Creative Director Laura Doherty Features Director Elizabeth Heathcote Wellbeing Director-at-Large Eminé Kali Rushton Associate Editors Danielle Woodward, Anita Chaudhuri Editor-at-Large Ali Roff Features Writer and Digital Editor Ellen Tout Production Editor Vee Sey Deputy Production Editor Leona Gerrard Contributing Editors Wellness Nicky Clinch, Elizabeth Bennett, Larah Davies Body Hollie Grant Spirit Annee de Mamiel Mind Suzy Reading and Will Williams Gut Eve Kalinik Yoga Kat Farrants Nature Paul Rushton Retreat Caroline Sylger Jones Health Hazel Wallace Digital Katherine Weir ADVERTISING & PRODUCTION TigerBee Media, Commercial Director Nikki Peterson (020 3510 0849) nikki.peterson@tigerbeemedia.co.uk Production Manager Melanie Cooper (01733 363485) kelseylifestyle@atgraphicsuk.com Production Supervisor Dionne Fisher (01733 363485) kelseylifestyle@atgraphicsuk.com MANAGEMENT Managing Director Phil Weeden Chief Executive Steve Wright Chairman Steve Annetts Finance Director Joyce Parker-Sarioglu Publishing Director Kevin McCormick Retail Distribution Manager Eleanor Brown Audience Development Manager Andy Cotton Subscription Marketing Manager Rebecca Gibson Events Manager Kat Chappell Publishing Operations Manager Charlotte Whittaker Senior Print Production Manager Nicola Pollard Print Production Manager Georgina Harris Print Production Controller Alicia Stewart Meet three of the people who have taken part in the creation of Psychologies Ellen Tout Journalist Ellen is Psychologies’ Digital Editor and Features Writer She now also writes our new Eco Worrier column ‘For a while, I’ve been trying to find more environmentally friendly ways of living, but it can often feel overwhelming or unattainable,’ she says ‘In my column, I’ll explore small, realistic steps that we can all make to create change together.’ Follow Ellen’s journey throughout the year – this month, she tests eco sanitary wear See page 97 Jack Monroe Food writer A bestselling author, writer, activist and award-winning blogger, Jack is also a well-known campaigner against hunger and poverty in the UK On our food pages this month (from page 122), you can try some of the delightful recipes from Jack’s new book Cooking On A Bootstrap (Pan Macmillan, £15.99), which aims to make preparing something exciting to eat on a budget fun and delicious SUBSCRIPTIONS 13 issues of Psychologies are published per annum OUK annual subscription price: £58.50 OEurope annual subscription price: £72 OUSA annual subscription price: £72 ORest of World annual subscription price: £78 OUK subscription and back issue orderline: 01959 543747 OOverseas subscription orderline: 0044 (0) 1959 543747 OToll-free USA subscription orderline: 888 777 0275 OUK customer service team: 01959 543747; subs@kelsey.co.uk Suzy Bashford Writer Find subscription offers on our website: shop.kelsey.co.uk/psy Manage your subscription online shop.kelsey.co.uk/site/loginForm DISTRIBUTION & PRINTING William Gibbons, 28 Planetary Road, Willenhall, Wolverhampton WV13 3XT; 01902 730011; williamgibbons.co.uk Seymour Distribution Ltd, East Poultry Avenue, London EC1A 9PT; 020 7429 4000; seymour.co.uk Psychologies is published under licence from Psychologies Magazine France Psychologies Magazine is a registered trademark Copyright ©2002 GLOBAL EDITIONS Psychologies Magazine is a registered trademark and is published monthly by Kelsey Media 2019 © all rights reserved Kelsey Media is a trading name of Kelsey Publishing Ltd Reproduction in whole or in part is forbidden except with permission in writing from the publishers Note to contributors: articles submitted for consideration by the editor must be the original work of the author and not previously published Where photographs are included, which are not the property of the contributor, permission to reproduce them must have been obtained from the owner of the copyright The Editor cannot guarantee a personal response to all letters and emails received The views expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the Editor or the Publisher Kelsey Publishing Ltd accepts no liability for products and services offered by third parties PRIVACY NOTICE Kelsey Publishing Ltd uses a multi-layered privacy notice, giving you brief details about how we would like to use your personal information For full details, visit kelsey.co.uk, or call 01959 543524 If you have any questions, please ask, as submitting your details indicates your consent, until you choose otherwise, that we and our partners may contact you about products and services that will be of relevance to you via direct mail, phone, email or SMS You can opt out at ANY time via email: data.controller@kelsey.co.uk or 01959 543524 Groupe Psychologies, 2-8 rue Gaston-Rébuffat, 75019 Paris, France Tel: 01 44 65 58 00 Get your weekly fix! P S YC H O L O G I E S M A G A Z I N E A P R I L PSYCHOLOGIES FRANCE Editor-in-Chief: Laurence Folléa PSYCHOLOGIES ROMANIA Ringier Magazines, Dimitri Pompeiu Street, Bucharest Tel: +40 212 03 08 00 Managing Director: Mihnea Vasiliu (mihnea.vasiliu@ringier.ro) Editor-in-Chief: Iuliana Alexa (iuliana alexa@ringier.ro) Advertising Manager: Monica Pop (monica.pop@ringier.ro) PSYCHOLOGIES BELGIUM Edition Ventures, Chaussée de Louvain 431D, 1830 Lasne Tel: + 32 379 29 90 Editorial Director: Marie-Christine De Wasseige (mc.dewasseige@ventures be) Chief editor (French): Christiane Thiry (christiane.thiry@ventures.be) Chief editor (Flemish): Barbara Van den Abeele (b.vandenabeele@ventures.be) Advertising Manager: Manoëlle Sepulchre (manoelle.sepulchre@ventures.be) PSYCHOLOGIES RUSSIA Hearst Shkulev Media, Psychologies Russia, 31 b Shabolovkaya Street, Moscow 115162 Tel: +7 495 981 39 10 President: Viktor Shkulev (vshkulev@hsmedia.ru) Editor-in-Chief: Xsenia Kiseleva (xkiseleva@hsmedia.ru) Publisher and Advertising Manager: Ekatarina Kerova (ekerova@hsmedia.ru) PHOTOGRAPH: MIKE ENGLISH Suzy is a writer, mum and outdoors enthusiast who, three years ago, moved to her dream location of the Scottish Highlands in pursuit of a new family lifestyle She spends her time there writing, running (on trails and after kids), mountain biking and dipping in lochs Her feature explores how, when you’ve achieved your dreams, you can prevent them from becoming run-of-the-mill See page 26 WANT MORE INSPIRATION, PERSONALITY TESTS AND INVITATIONS TO LIFE-CHANGING EDITOR’S LETTER We’re here to support you Psychologies is not just a magazine, it’s a resource for wisdom, inspiration and learning new life skills Read our pages and join our kind, online community of subscribers in the Life Leap Club This month, top coach Louise Rodgers runs a great free course, ‘How to say no at work and still thrive’ We also encourage you to create face-to-face clubs (page 72) and, this issue, we’re focusing on career, and how we may be sabotaging our success Suzy Walker It’s easy to dismiss the good stuff and see only the negative Editor-in-Chief, with Oscar the office dog Suzy Bashford steps off the ‘hedonic treadmill’ of wanting more to appreciate what she has on page 26 That might include a difficult friendship: Suzanne Scott writes about her ambivalent friend (page 52) and deals with how she feels without losing her mate If you’re looking for love, Oliver Burkeman has some unusual tips for a great first date (page 62) And, if you want a new relationship with yourself, commit to our Mindful Health Club on page 100 – our exciting new project with Ali Roff, who will help you create mindful habits and revolutionise your wellbeing Whatever your focus – career, friendship, love or health – we are right by your side Next month, we invite you to stop struggling and get back into the flow Plus, how to be happier in a job you don’t love – and create a life you really FRWEORETH GIFT Your tribe awaits! £31.90 Whatever area of your life needs attention, you are not alone Join the ‘Psychologies’ Life Leap Club, free to all our subscribers, and be part of a groundbreaking community This month, take the leap to a better life and we’ll send you a Weleda Lemon Aid duo, and the very warmest of welcomes See page 80 EVENTS? SIGN UP FOR OUR FREE NEWSLETTER – DELIVERED DIRECTLY TO YOUR INBOX! GO TO bit.ly/2KN0B8z A P R I L P S YC H O L O G I E S M A G A Z I N E Viewpoint Send your letters to letters@psychologies.co.uk and tell us what you love about our magazine You could win a six-month subscription, plus access to our Life Leap Club! Star letter OPEN HEART, OPEN MIND I just finished reading Eminé’s ‘The Open Mind’ column entitled ‘Let the heart lead’ (January) It is simply beautiful I think I have hardened my heart over the years so that I can be stronger and tougher As I read more of the column, I found that listening and opening up our hearts takes courage but can be very rewarding I had several teary moments when I reconnected with my heart It is not always easy, but it is truly worth it to genuinely feel Kartina Share with us… Share your photos and comments on Instagram @psychologiesmagazine, or tweet us @PsychologiesMag both using #PsychologiesMagazine @SuzyReading: Thank you @PsychologiesMag for today’s dose of #selfcare One of my fave tips here Hope it serves you well @Imalisonjulie: So excited to start using my new Psychologies Journal for 2019 @fejrobinson: Absolutely thrilled to have a podcast out in collaboration with @PsychologiesMag and @UKCP_Updates @redjanuaryuk: @DavidPearlHere: One of our #inspirational strangers The brilliant Suzy Walker, Editor-inChief @PsychologiesMag says: ‘Wanderful: Sat-Nav For The Soul is an essential, playful guide to help you discover your true path in life’ @shropshiresbm: Find time to be creative I’ve added some inspiring new Psychologies #quotes to my #visionboard Get your weekly fix! PSYCHOLO GIES MAGA ZINE APRIL 2019 You don’t have to run for miles or hit the gym to add more movement into your daily routine That’s why @psychologiesmagazine is supporting @redjanuaryuk by getting active every day to support our mental health WANT MORE INSPIRATION, PERSONALITY TESTS AND INVITATIONS TO LIFE-CHANGING feedback Letter of gratitude POSITIVE CHANGE I love your magazine I have suffered with anxiety for several years and am now recovering from depression A way out seemed impossible, but reading your magazine makes me feel so determined, motivated and inspired I love the articles about how others have made their lives positive and exciting and I take a lot of pleasure in the new recipes, recommendations and advice, too I highly recommend reading it Cosying up with Psychologies and a mug of hot chocolate gives me such comfort Thank you so much Sarah I’d like to thank… my 99-year-old grandma, Mama You have been through many hardships in your life, yet you always maintain a positive outlook and true courage and determination Now, with limited mobility and hearing, and deteriorating eyesight, you still wear a big smile on your face You are patient, kind PHOTO COMPETITION and always make time for others Completely inspired and buzzing this morning After a quick walk up the lane, I was able to capture the morning sunlight catching the cobwebs on a branch Now I’m heading to a great local creative writing workshop I love stretching my mind and stepping out of my comfort zone Juliet Thomas @soothedbynature You taught me the importance of a positive mindset, the power of resilience and a true appreciation for family and friends These are values I live by as a mum, wife and life coach You instilled the importance of always seeing the good in people and taught me that the glass is half full I remember as a young girl sharing my The winner dreams and aspirations with you You told me not to let anyone hold me back When I experience challenging times, I think of you You really are my true inspiration and I feel Kim WOULD YOU LIKE to showcase your photographic talent in ‘Psychologies’? What moment has made you feel inspired, grateful or moved this month? Capture it and tell us why We’ll print the winner, plus you’ll receive a six-month subscription, and access to our Life Leap Club! Share your photo with us and explain its inspiration on Instagram @psychologiesmagazine with the hashtag #PsychologiesPhoto or email to letters@psychologies.co.uk This month’s gratitude letter, star letter and chosen photo win a six-month subscription to Psychologies worth £25.80, plus access to our Life Leap Club! Send your letters to letters@psychologies.co.uk * FOR FULL TS&CS, SEE PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK OPEN TO UK RESIDENTS ONLY CURRENT SUBSCRIBERS MAY CLAIM THE PRIZE ONCE THEIR SUBSCRIPTION LAPSES, OR OFFER IT TO A FRIEND EMAIL ELLEN.TOUT@PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK so lucky and honoured to have you in my life EVENTS? SIGN UP FOR OUR FREE NEWSLETTER – DELIVERED DIRECTLY TO YOUR INBOX! GO TO bit.ly/2KN0B8z APRIL 2019 PSYCHOLO GIES MAGA ZINE Mount Everest Base Camp Trek 22 Oct - Nov 2020 Lace up your hiking boots and get ready for the best trek you’ve ever-est been on! Join us as we trek through literally breath-taking panoramas to the incredible Mount Everest Base Camp For more information and to register online: www.dream-challenges.com 01590 646410 email: events@dream-challenges.com living the retreat ux flowers i vase, from a selection, mark.co.uk Abstract No1 pos r £15 95 desenio co uk Melodi pendant lamps, £12 each, ikea.co.uk Chrome kitchen mixer tap, £171, meir.com Karlsson Dragonfly wall clock, £39 redcandy.co.uk glass and stainless-steel dining table, £989, artisanti.com Mikasa Ciara cereal bowl, £10; Maxwell & Williams noodle bowl, £14.95, both creative-tops.com Faux leather office chair, £149, cultfurniture.com Villa Nova Sami cushion, £67, sweetpeaand willow com Harbour cushion, £12, made.com Joyful living Author Paloma Contreras talks about living la dolce vita at home in her book, Dream Design Live, meaning that ‘your home and everything in it should give you a sense of joy’ ‘Sometimes, in design, as in love, it pays to hold out for “the one”, even if the one is the perfect piece of art, a vintage chair, or a beautiful antique mirror,’ she says So, keep searching for those special pieces that make your heart sing and, you never know, they might find you Cimbo chair, from a selection, ligne-roset.com Stainless-stee flowerpot lamp, £333, rume.co.uk Lemon slice dish, from a selection, talkingtables.co.uk Silver-plated honey pot and spreader, £29.95, annabeljames.co.uk Coste leather sofa bed, £699, made.com Kirkby Design Arcade cushion, £63, sweetpea andwillow.com Fez brass stool, £423, artisanti.com 118 P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E A P R I L Faux potted fern, £31.50, audenza.com Dream Design Live by Paloma Contreras (Abrams, £26.99) Find out more at abramsandchronicle.co.uk Walk on the Wild Side Trek Kenya 14-22 February 2020 Take a walk on the wild side on this roarsome adventure, trekking through Kenya’s Rift Valley Prepare to be immersed in an entirely different world and spot an extraordinary range of African wildlife For more information and to register online: www.dream-challenges.com Tel: 01590 646410 email: events@dream-challenges.com “ Look at the sky; remind yourself of the cosmos Seek vastness at every opportunity in order to see the smallness of yourself PHOTOGRAPH: GETTY IMAGES MATT HAIG 120 P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E A P R I L ” good thoughts A P R I L P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E 121 feasting the retreat Everyday bargain meals Food writer Jack Monroe’s latest book, Cooking On A Bootstrap, is a fun treasure trove of delicious food for when you’re watching the pennies RECIPES JACK MONROE PHOTOGRAPHS MIKE ENGLISH EDITED BY DANIELLE WOODWARD J ack Monroe writes with honesty, humour and a no-nonsense style, which is exactly what you want when money is tight and what you have in the cupboard SELF-LOVE STEW Spoon it into a bowl Sit in your favourite spot Hug that bowl Enjoy every mouthful You made this for yourself out of love You are nourishing yourself You are smart You are kind to yourself You can wash up tomorrow and fridge is uninspiring! She will change your outlook on food and cooking; in SERVES her eyes, there is nothing that can’t be O substituted, improvised or adapted O to make full use of whatever you have to Oil, for frying garlic cloves, roughly chopped hand She says: ‘My mission is simple: O cooking on a budget needn’t be gruel O onion, roughly chopped A few handfuls of finely and gastronomic flagellation It can be chopped or grated root sumptuous It can be nourishing It can veg (I like carrot, parsnip, be devastatingly delicious It can be spud or sweet potato achievable It can be all of these things – any root will do) with the smallest of kitchens and the O simplest of equipment and absolutely O no skills whatsoever It can be yours.’ Discover fun recipes such as ‘Pint- tsp paprika 150g tofu or white fish fillets x 400g tin of beans O glass bread’, ‘Marmite mac ‘n’ cheese’, (baked, kidney, butter, ‘Whirly buns’ and ‘Double chocolate cannellini, chickpeas Guinness brownies’ There’s a shopping guide to the perfect kitchen store cupboard and equipment, plus chapters – any beans), drained x 400g tin of chopped O tomatoes with ideas for every meal of the day, with O a range of vegetarian and vegan recipes, O as well as meat-based dishes We’ve O A fistful of kale or spinach Squeeze of lemon juice A pinch of salt and a chosen three inspiring ones for you to try sprinkle of cracked – give them a go and pocket the change! black pepper 122 P S YC H O L O G I E S M A G A Z I N E A P R I L Warm a little oil in a pan over low heat and cook the garlic and onion, to soften Stir, stir; slow and cathartic Add the finely chopped or grated root veg and stir some more, then add the paprika and mix in Stirring is key; it is soothing Chuck in the chunks of tofu if you’re veggie or vegan, or white fish if you aren’t Tip in the beans; whatever beans – add them for goodness For laziness For filling comfort For making the dish stretch into an extra meal that you won’t have to cook Pour over the tomatoes The cheaper ones are sloppy and excellent for soups and stews Shred some kale with your hands Rip it the heck up with all the stress-busting physicality you can muster Go on! Tear it to shreds Drop it in Stir it through, breathe and stir, and breathe Bring to the boil – like your fury, heat it up and watch it roar… then, reduce to a simmer Douse in lemon juice to brighten, and add some salt and pepper to amplify the flavours Serve that stew, just for you >>> feasting the retreat BEETBALLS These are based on a beetroot burger recipe from Lee Watson’s vegan recipe book, ‘Peace And Parsnips’.* Apologies, Lee, that they aren’t in their original incarnation For a gluten-free version, replace the bread with a tablespoon or two of your preferred gluten-free flour MAKES 20 200g dried red lentils O small onion, finely sliced O fat garlic cloves, finely sliced O 150g cooked beetroot (not the kind in O vinegar; go for cheaper, vacuum-packed beets), finely diced tbsp oil, plus extra for drizzling O ½ tsp cumin or coriander, seeds or ground O slice of bread or a pitta O A pinch of salt O tbsp lemon juice, fresh or bottled O cold tap, then pop into a pan Cover with water and bring to the boil; not add any salt at this stage or the lentils may ‘seize’ and never soften Sad but true Reduce to a simmer and cook for around 15 minutes, until very soft, swollen and translucent Meanwhile, put the oil, onion and garlic into a pan Add the finely diced beetroot and the spice of your choice, and soften over a medium heat, stirring regularly to stop the ingredients from sticking and burning Skim any scum from the top of the lentils using a spoon, then drain and rinse them thoroughly Tip into a mixing bowl along with the onion, garlic and beetroot, and mash to a pulp An ordinary jug blender, or any kind of food processor, will make this job easier, but it’s not 124 P S YC H O L O G I E S M A G A Z I N E A P R I L essential; a fork or masher and a good dollop of elbow grease will yield a pretty satisfying result, too When it’s a rough pulp, grate the bread into crumbs and mix through, with a pinch of salt and a good squeeze of lemon juice Cover the mixture and chill it in the fridge for half an hour to firm up When firm to the touch, preheat the oven to 180°C (350°F), gas mark Shape the mixture into small balls and place them on a lightly greased baking tray Drizzle the top of the balls with a little extra oil, or brush each one if you can be bothered, and bake in the centre of the oven for 25 minutes, turning over halfway through Serve immediately I like mine with mayo (vegan; garlic), a generous helping of slaw, and a pile of little ‘Gramcakes’.** Giveaway We have five copies of Cooking On A Bootstrap (Pan Macmillan, £15.99) to give away To enter, visit psychologies co.uk/win-copycooking-bootstrapjack-monroe ‘PEACE AND PARSNIPS: VEGAN COOKING FOR EVERYONE’ BY LEE WATSON (PENGUIN, £20) **FOR THE RECIPE FOR THE GRAMCAKES, SEE THE FOOD CHANNEL AT PSYCHOLOGIES.CO.UK Thoroughly rinse the lentils under a AUBERGINE AND LENTIL VINDALOO If you don’t like aubergine, use mushrooms Lentils could also be kidney beans, baked beans, black beans, brown or green lentils, or yellow split peas – for protein The flavour speaks for itself, or rather, shouts, sings and dances! SERVES 2-4 large aubergine or small O aubergines, diced 50g dried red lentils O onions, finely sliced O Oil, for frying O fat garlic cloves O ½ tsp ground cinnamon O tsp cumin, seeds or ground O ¼ star anise, or 1/8 tsp O fennel seeds A good grind of black pepper O 1-2 tsp chilli flakes O tbsp tomato puree O tbsp vinegar or lemon juice, O fresh or bottled A fistful of spinach O In a bowl, sprinkle the aubergine with a good pinch of salt, then set aside Thoroughly rinse the lentils and place them in a pan Cover with water – no salt or they will take an age to cook – and bring to the boil When the water is boiling, reduce to a simmer for 12 minutes, until the lentils are soft Drain, rinse and set aside Meanwhile, toss the onions into a large pan with a little oil and, over medium heat, soften for 10 minutes Add the garlic cloves, peeled but whole, and the aubergine, stirring to stop it sticking Cook for 15 minutes, adding more oil if needed Add the cinnamon, cumin, star anise, or fennel, and pepper, but only half of your chosen quantity of chilli (It is easy to add, but difficult to temper down if you misjudge it, so I put in half the chilli to cook, and leave half to garnish.) Stir well to combine, then add 200ml water to the pan, and crank up the heat to medium-high Add the lentils, tomato puree and vinegar or lemon juice and stir Bring to the boil, then reduce to a simmer and cover, stirring slowly now and again It should take around 30 minutes to meld into glossy, orange goodness, and the liquid should thicken to an unctuous sauce If it is too watery, bring it back to the boil, reduce the heat and cook a little more Stir through the spinach a few minutes before serving This vindaloo is delicious with boiled rice, which makes it go further feasting the retreat Go for reusable options Insulated lunch bag, £11, yellowoctopus.com.au Save space Stacking bowl, colander and jug set, from a selection, kitchencraft co.uk Liven up your walls Pineapple print, £5, abstracthouse.com Cute and useful Salt and pepper l s £ 99 b m B ct Paul H llywood asuring spoons, £14.99, k aft.co.uk k Well-priced treats Almond chocolate dips, from a selection, mightyfine.co; Rana fresh pasta, £2.50, ocado.com; Lizi’s low-sugar granola, £3.69, lizis.co.uk; Real Handful protein bar, £1.19, ocado.com; Heck vegan sausages, £3, waitrose.com COOK SAVVY Budget buys The trick to staying within your budget when food shopping is to plan ahead – take inspiration from Cooking On A Bootstrap and the recipes in the titles below and plan all your meals for the week before you go to the shops Then, your best to walk past the BOGOFs and special offers! There is a certain satisfaction in knowing you have all the ingredients you need to cook meals for the week ahead and you haven’t overspent It is possible to enjoy a healthy, balanced diet without breaking the bank Great cookbooks that help you keep an eye on the pennies Miguel Barclay’s Super Easy One Pound Meals by Miguel Barclay (Headline Home, £16.99) Eat, Shop, Save by Dale Pinnock (Mitchell Beazley, £14.99) The Savvy Shopper’s Cookbook by Amy Sheppard (Ebury, £14.99) Tiny Budget Cooking by Limahl Asmall (BBC Books, £14.99) 126 P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E A P R I L Blogger spotlight Michelle is a New Zealander, based in the UK, who blogs at utterlyscrummy.blog spot.com As a mum of four, she has lots of thrifty cooking ideas; advice on meal planning and budgeting, and loads of recipes, plus her ‘six ways with…’ suggestions to make the most of ingredients With a dose of humour and top tips, including meal plans (we love the ‘skint week’ recipes), Michelle makes eating on a budget fun and satisfying PHOTOGRAPH: STOCKSY Inves versa l k Mini P P o, £50, c Grow your own Royal Vkb herb garden, from a selection, thedesigngiftshop.com essentials FIND THE TRUTH & FIND YOUR PATH Theosophy is the ancient scientific system that unifies philosophy and religion, whose traces are to be found in all cultures and gives a rational basis for humanity’s ethics It is a coherent knowledge of nature and which teaches reincarnation and karma, where man’s psychic and spiritual natures come from, and what lies behind them ACHIEVE CONTROL, CONFIDENCE AND SUCCESS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE Your mindset controls everything.A positive mindset knows what to and how to it A negative mindset is out of control and full of self-doubt Next Level helps you build the mindset you need to achieve what you want • Regain control of your daily life with strategies and habit changes to make you more productive and less stressed • Be confident in your decisions and abilities, and care less what other people think • Achieve greater success with skills and strategies to be a great leader at work and at home Join us to study these and other subjects at the ULT in London or online The meetings are on Sundays 7-8.30 pm and Wednesdays from 7-8.15 pm for the study of Patanjali’s Yoga Aphorisms and The Key to Theosophy The events and a distancelearning correspondence course are free, all are welcome ULT, 62 Queen’s Gardens, Lancaster Gate, London W2 3AH 020 7723 0688 www.theosophy-ult.org.uk/ events Visit www.nextlevelcpi.com to get started Change for the Better Emma Coffey Therapy (NCH, GHR, CNHC) Sometimes it feels like we are stuck (stress, anxiety, career, expectations, social media, habits) and don’t know where to begin Like our story isn’t our own H P Blavatsky, founder of the Theosophical Movement “There is no religion higher than Truth.” 2019 - Two events to change your life and improve children’s emotional well-being! 15 June “The Social Mind – Evolution and Development” Staverton Estate, Daventry Prof.Louis Cozolino presents ground breaking research on the evolution of the human mind into a social organ and how individual minds adjust, communicate and regulate one another I combine cognitive behavioural and hypnotherapy techniques, supporting people to make rapid, real and lasting change in their lives To become authors of their own story Hypnotherapy is about empowering you, helping you to claim control and feel better 20 July Fast track route to train as a Registered Practitioner in Therapeutic Play Skills and as a registered Certified Play Therapist Ultimately though, the person who makes the change is you The power is always with you 15 days at our beautiful La Mouline centre in the Tarn area of France, 14 year Heated swimming pool Air conditioned class rooms Stay at friendly gites, with English speaking hosts Make new friends! (from 29 countries in 2018) My online therapy is much like the face-to-face experience in my clinic but offering you more flexibility in the comfort of your own home Can’t make France? Rather study at weekends? 13 convenient venues all over the UK: PG Certificate and Diploma courses - five three day weekends To find out more contact admin@emmacoffeytherapy.co.uk 07792389861 Susi, APAC Tel: 01825 761143 Email: mokijep@majemail.com www.playtherapy.org.uk www.playtherapyregister.org.uk TO ADVERTISE CALL NIKKI.PETERSON@TIGERBEEMEDIA.CO.UK 0203 5100849 shop 58Lifestyle BlossomYogaWear Friendinabox Sustainably-sourced artisan blends of the purest natural ingredients, 58 Lifestyle’s collection of home scent and skincare products, all are handcrafted to balance mind, body and soul Luxurious, 100% natural pampering products infused with the clean, crisp Balancing Blend fragrance to unwind and uplift ● www.58lifestyle.com Blossom Yoga Wear will definitely get you noticed on and off the mat.The bright designs will add perfection to your sun salutations Designed by yogis for yogis, the high waist leggings are available in sizes XS to XL The perfect way to show you care when you can’t be there Thoughtful gifts in an eye-catching letterbox-friendly blue box with a“typewritten”letter Ideal for Mother’s Day, birthdays or to lift a friend’s spirits Popular boxes include: Pink Pamper, Spa Night, Be Kind to Yourself, Relaxation, Mindfulness l www.blossomyogawear.com ● www.friendinabox.co.uk Greenfibres HuzurVadisiYogaRetreats Men!Aboostinthebedroom! 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We try hard to manage our time better but it doesn’t help, because the volume of input is increasing, but the time available stays the same Our busyness also crowds out time to think and be creative Being busy is addictive – the regular dopamine hit of constantly checking our phones, clearing emails, multitasking, being switched ‘on’ at all times and cramming things in It also has ‘benefits’, says Crabbe It’s easier because it means we don’t have to make tough choices between what to or well, and what not to or be sloppier about It means we can avoid doing the difficult but meaningful things that will make the most difference to our lives and careers Crabbe proposes that we need a new approach Step one is to let go – to accept that we can no longer control the flow of input, and that will not change, however hard we try Then we need to switch our focus to our output, making strategic choices about how we use our attention, and limited time, for maximum impact; to reconnect with our strengths and values, and what matters most It’s simple but not always easy, so this book has many ideas, stories and research evidence to help us make the change and feel happier, rather than just busy Next month, we’re reading ‘Creative Confidence: Unleashing The Creative Potential Within Us All’ by David and Tom Kelley (HarperCollins, £9.99) 130 P SYC H O LO G I E S M AG A Z I N E A P R I L Busy: How To Thrive In A World Of Too Much by Tony Crabbe (Little, Brown, £8.99) Questions to discuss OStudies show that we underestimate how much time things will take Look at your to-do list and estimate how long each task will take ONow, double each of your estimates Which items on the list will be most impactful and which can you drop? OIf you acted as if you accepted that you couldn’t them all – how would you manage your day differently? OWhat is something you’d love to but don’t have the time or energy for? What could you stop doing to give more attention to it? VEGAN from Britain’s No.1 Vitamin Company* 2019-01-07_ADWEWVEGCONP_E * www.wellwoman.com † l prd vr wear a mantra ins p e keeg v o l r y o u & s tr on a M safe us n READER OFFER 15% discount g Use code PSYCH15* at checkout *Offer valid until 30th April 2019 to Psychologies readers* ... williamgibbons.co .uk Seymour Distribution Ltd, East Poultry Avenue, London EC1A 9PT; 020 7429 4000; seymour.co .uk Psychologies is published under licence from Psychologies Magazine France Psychologies. .. start using my new Psychologies Journal for 2019 @fejrobinson: Absolutely thrilled to have a podcast out in collaboration with @PsychologiesMag and @UKCP_Updates @redjanuaryuk: @DavidPearlHere:... @psychologiesmagazine with the hashtag #PsychologiesPhoto or email to letters @psychologies. co .uk This month’s gratitude letter, star letter and chosen photo win a six-month subscription to Psychologies