Hooking up the psychology of sex and dating katherine m helm

Hooking Up Recent Titles in The Psychology of Everyday Life Working Out: The Psychology of Sport and Exercise Justine J Reel Chilling Out: The Psychology of Relaxation Christine L B Selby HOOKING UP The Psychology of Sex and Dating Katherine M Helm The Psychology of Everyday Life Copyright © 2016 by ABC-CLIO, LLC All rights reserved No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review, without prior permission in writing from the publisher Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Helm, Katherine (Katherine M.) author Hooking up : the psychology of sex and dating / Katherine M Helm pages cm — (The psychology of everyday life) Includes bibliographical references and index ISBN 978–1–61069–950–1 (hardback) — ISBN 978–1–61069–951–8 (ebook) Sex (Psychology) Sex Mate selection Interpersonal attraction Dating (Social customs) I Title BF692.H4475 2016 155.3—dc23 2015025019 ISBN: 978–1–61069–950–1 EISBN: 978–1–61069–951–8 20 19 18 17 16 This book is also available on the World Wide Web as an eBook Visit www.abc-clio.com for details Greenwood An Imprint of ABC-CLIO, LLC ABC-CLIO, LLC 130 Cremona Drive, P.O Box 1911 Santa Barbara, California 93116-1911 This book is printed on acid-free paper Manufactured in the United States of America This book is dedicated to all of the Lewis University students who have taken my human sexuality course over the years and those students who have participated in my Sex Talks with Dr Helm series sponsored by the Psychology Club You have always made these courses and talks fun, interesting, and exciting and truly honed my skills as a teacher and human sexuality educator I continue to learn from you Thanks so much for always challenging me to be the best teacher I can be Contents Series Foreword Preface Acknowledgments ix xiii xv Part I: Sex in Everyday Life 1 What: The Many Forms of Sex Why: The Importance of Sex in Our Lives 25 How: The Positive and Negative Effects of Sex 53 Who: Psychologists’ Theories about Sex 95 When: Sex throughout the Life Cycle 117 Where: Sex around the World 145 Part II: Scenarios 169 Part III: Controversies and Debates 181 Directory of Resources 199 Glossary 203 Bibliography 221 viii Contents About the Author and Contributors 233 Index 235 Series Foreword Psychology is the science of behavior; it is the field that examines how and why people do, feel, and think the things that they However, in a very real way, everyone is a psychologist Each of us observes and tries to understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of people we are around, as well as trying to understand ourselves Have you ever thought, “I wonder why she did that?” Or perhaps, “Why did I that; it makes no sense.” If you have, then you are asking psychological questions Most people enjoy being “students of human behavior” and observing and thinking about people, human nature, and all of the variants of the human condition The difference between “most people” and psychologists is that the psychologist has spent many years in school studying and learning about people In addition to studying and doing research, psychologists also work directly with people in many settings For example, clinical and counseling psychologists work with people who are dealing with psychological disorders or are having problems in their lives that require professional assistance, but there are many other branches of psychology as well Sport psychologists work with athletes and teams to improve performance and team functioning Industrial/organizational psychologists help workers, managers, and organizations function more effectively and efficiently Military psychologists deal with military personnel and organizations Forensic psychologists work with police and other law enforcement organizations to help solve crimes and assist law enforcement personnel In 226 Bibliography Goodman, B (Writer), & Maggio, J (Director) (2005, February 14) Kinsey [Television series episode] In C Allan (Producer), The American experience USA: Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) Gorer, G (1938) Himalayan village: An account of the Lepchas of Sikkim London: Joseph Greenberg, J.S., Bruess, C.E., & Conklin, S.C (2011) Exploring the dimensions of human sexuality (4th ed.) 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Time, pp 52–59 Tran, A (2013, November) Slips-of-the-tongue errors [Cartoon] Retrieved from http://mercercognitivepsychology.pbworks.com/w/page/330156 83/Slip-of-the-Tounge%20Errors Turner, C.F., et al (2005) Same-gender sex among U.S adults: Trends across the twentieth century and during the 1990s Public Opinion Quarterly, 69, 439–462 Van Dis, H., & Larsson, K (1971) Induction of sexual arousal in the castrated male rat by intracranial stimulation Physiological Behavior, 6, 85–86 Vannoy, R (1980) Sex without love: A philosophical exploration Buffalo, NY: Prometheus Books Walker, L (1979) The battered woman New York: Harper & Row Wallechinsky, D., & Wallace, I (1981) History of sex surveys: A thousand marriages part In Trivia Library Retrieved from http://www trivia-library.com/a/history-of-sex-survey-a-thousand-marriages-part-1 htm Ward, L.M., & Friedman, K (2006) Using TV as a guide: Associations between television viewing and adolescents’ sexual attitudes and behavior Journal of Research on Adolescence, 16, 133–156 West, C.M (1998) Lifting the “political gag order”: Breaking the silence around partner violence in ethnic minority families In J.L Jasinski & Bibliography 231 L.M Williams (Eds.), Partner violence: A comprehensive review of 20 years of research (pp 184–209) Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage West, R (2012) The ancient roots [CE1] of our Judeo-Christian sexual prohibitions Retrieved from http://www.cybercollege.com/history.htm White, D.R (1988) Rethinking polygyny Current Anthropology, 29, 529–572 Williams, W.L (1992) The spirit and the flesh: Sexual diversity in American Indian culture Boston, MA: Beacon Press Wilson, G., & Rahman, Q (2005) Born gay: The psychobiology of sex orientation London: Peter Owen Wright, H (1938) The sex factor in marriage: A book for those who are or are about to be married New York: Vanguard Press Zajonc, R.B (2001) Mere exposure: A gateway to the subliminal Current Directions in Psychological Science, 10, 224–228 Zimmer-Tamakoshi, L (2005) Rape and other sexual aggression In Encyclopedia of sex and gender: Men and women in the world’s cultures (Vol 1, pp 230–246) New York: Kluwer Academic/Plenum Publishers About the Author and Contributors Katherine M Helm, PhD, is a professor of psychology and director of Graduate Programs in Psychology at Lewis University, where she teaches a wide range of graduate and undergraduate counseling and psychology courses Dr Helm is also a licensed psychologist She regularly sees individual clients and couples and supervises a clinical training program for master’s and doctoral practicum students Dr Helm’s scholarly contributions and interests are in the areas of individual and couples counseling, sexuality issues and education, training and supervision, multicultural issues in counseling, the treatment of trauma for sexual abuse, pedagogy of multicultural courses, and cultural sensitivity training Dr Helm has counseling and consultative experience in psychiatric hospitals, community mental health, college counseling centers, and agency settings Lisa Brown, LCPC, CDVP, specializes in counseling children and adolescents, the LGBT population, and survivors of domestic violence In addition to her work as a counselor, she works as a clinical coordinator and teaches graduate clinical mental health counseling and undergraduate psychology courses at Lewis University Valerie Hill, PhD, is an associate professor and the undergraduate program director in the Department of Psychology at Lewis University Her doctorate is in developmental psychology from Northern Illinois 234 About the Author and Contributors University Her research interests include social cognition, student learning, and effective teaching practices Donna Lordi is completing her master’s degree in clinical mental health She has extensively studied issues of human sexuality, gender and transgender issues, and sexual orientation She has presented at several local and regional conferences on these issues and is contemplating doctoral study in human sexuality Byron Waller, PhD, is an associate professor of counseling at Governors State University He also has a practice in counseling in the Chicago area La Kesia D Weathersby-Graham has a master’s in psychology from Governors State University and practices in the south suburban area of Chicago, Illinois Index Abortion, 11, 73, 81–82, 148, 187; RU 486, 81; Roe v Wade, 82; spontaneous (miscarriage), 73, 83–84 Abstinence from sex, 10–12, 77–79; abstinence-only education, 10–11, 78, 89, 181–92 Acquaintance rape, 92, 160 Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS), 74 Adolescence, 123–30; dating and dating violence, 20, 68–70; homosexuality, 157–58; peer influence, 4–10; sexual development, 38, 61–62, 118, 123–30, 182–83 Adrenal glands, 123–24 Adrenarche, 123 Ainsworth, Mary, 119 American Psychiatric Association, 38, 44–45 American Psychological Association, 40 Androgens, 43–44, 123, 195 Androgyny, 34 Artificial insemination, 132 Asexuality, 32 Attachment, 12–15, 27, 31, 49, 63, 118–21, 162–65 Attraction, 12, 33, 57–61, 123; same-sex, 40–44 Bacterial vaginosis, 76 Bandura, Albert, 35 Barrier methods of birth control, 77–79; cervical cap, 79; condoms, 72, 75–76, 78, 81, 177; contraceptive sponge, 79; diaphragm, 79, 107 Bem Sex Role Inventory, 34 Berdache, 145–46 Birth control methods, 77–93; abortion, 11, 73, 81–82, 148, 187; abstinence, 10–12, 77–79; barrier methods, 77–79; birth control pill, 77–81; douching, 78; emergency, 80; hormonal, 80; intrauterine device (IUD), 79; lactational 236 amenorrhea, 78–79; spermicides, 79; voluntary sterilization, 80; withdrawal, 78 Birth control pill, 77–81 Body image, 61, 70, 141 Breast cancer, 133 Breastfeeding, 78–79 Candida albicans, 75 Castration, 38, 103 Catfish, 18–19 Catfishing See Catfish Cervical cap, 79 Cheating, 57, 64–65 Childbirth, 85–86 Child sexual abuse, 90–93, 161–62 Christianity, 97–98 Cohabitation, 20–22, 131–32 Coming out, 32, 39, 41–42 Communication: about sex, 46–48; between adults, 15–19, 28, 46–48, 76, 89–90, 113, 141; parent to child, 3–12, 46, 181–85 Compatibility theory, 147–48 Condoms, 72, 75–76, 78, 81, 177 Contraception See Birth control methods Contraceptive sponge, 79 Cross-cultural perspectives: on gender, 146–47, 163; on gender roles, 98, 146–48; on homosexuality, 40–42; on marriage, 38, 150–53 Cross-dressing, 45 Cystitis, 76 Date rape, 47, 92, 160 Dating, 15–23 Dating scripts, 15–16, 47 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), 193 Diaphragm, 79, 107 Dickinson, Robert Latou, 108 Domestic violence, 65–71 Douching, 78 Drag queen, 45–46 Index Electra complex, 35, 103–4 Ellis, Henry Havelock, 105–7 Emergency contraception, 80 Emerging adulthood, 118, 130–31 Erectile disorder, 112, 138 Erikson, Erik, 117–18; stages of psychosocial development, 123, 129, 131 Estrogen, 87, 123–26, 133, 195 Ethnic differences See Cross-cultural perspectives Family(ies), 4–7 Female genital mutilation (FGM), 149–50 Female orgasmic disorder, 140 Female sexual arousal disorder, 140 Fertility awareness, 78–79 Fixation, 104 See also Freudian theories, of sexual orientation Flirting, 17 Foreplay, 49, 140–41 Freudian theories: of psychoanalysis, 100–104; of sexual orientation, 38, 101–4 See also Psychoanalysis Freud, Sigmund, 35, 99–104 Gender dysphoria, 43–45 Gender identity: biological influences on, 28, 43, 102; childhood development of, 183–87; defined, 28; and emotional expression, 55–56; and sexual orientation, 33–37, 42–45 Gender identity disorder, 44–45 Gender issues, 148–50 Gender, 8, 28; cross-cultural perspectives on, 146–47, 163; in the United States, 145–46 Gender role: cross-cultural perspectives, 98, 146–48; defined, 28, 30; socialization, 15–16, 28–30, 47–50 Gender role stereotyping, 26–31, 47–50 Gonadarche, 123–24 Index Harlow, Harry, 118 Heterosexuality, 62–66 Heterosexual privilege, 13–14, 62 Hirschfeld, Magnus, 104–5 Homogamy, 151 Homosexuality, 12, 31–50, 192–97; causes and origins, 35–37; coming out, 41; cross-cultural perspectives on, 40–42; defined, 31; history of attitudes about, 38–39; Kinsey rating scale of, 110–11 Hooking up, 17–18 Hormonal methods of birth control, 80–81 Hormone replacement therapy (HRT), 133 Hormones, 53–57, 77–80, 87–88, 123–25, 133; androgens, 43–44, 123, 195; estrogen, 87, 123–26, 133, 195; oxytocin, 49–50; pituitary gland, 53–54; progesterone, 79–80, 87, 125, 133 Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), 74–75, 130 Hypoactive sexual desire, 139 Hypothalamus, 53 Incest, 70, 91, 103 Indeterminent gender See Intersexual Infertility, 87–89, 132, 149–50 Interpersonal attraction, 58 Intersexual, 45 Intrauterine device (IUD), 79 Jealousy, 57, 62, 64, 66 Judaism, 75, 95–96 Kinsey, Alfred, 108–111; rating scale for sexual orientation, 110–11 Lactational amenorrhea, 78–79 Limbic system, 54 237 Male orgasmic disorder, 139 Male privilege, 31 Marriage, 13–14, 21–23, 153–54; cross-cultural comparisons, 38, 150–53; defined, 152; of homosexuals, 13, 21–22, 38–41; polygyny, 153; trends, 22 Masters and Johnson, 111–13 Masturbation: in adolescence, 130, 185; in adulthood, 136–41; in childhood, 121–23, 181–85; historical attitudes toward, 98–99, 105–10; and infertility, 88 Media, 5, 10, 134–35, 183–85; advertising, 27; and homosexuality, 32–34, 63; movies, 114; and relationships, 14–15, 47; social media, 18–19, 62–64, 69 Menopause, 87, 133–34 Menstrual cycle, 54, 78; onset, 123–25 See also Menstruation Menstruation, 123–25; attitudes about, 96–98 Middle age, 132–34 Miscarriages, 83–84 Moniliasis (Candida albicans), 75 Monogamy, 19–20 Obergefell v Hodges, 13 Oedipal complex, 35, 102–4, 196 Older adulthood, 134–37; sexuality of, 135–37 Open marriage, 22 Paraphilia, 71–72 Parenting, 32–35, 102, 121–32, 181–97; same-sex parenting, 40, 102; single-parenthood, 22; teenage, 77 Peer influence, 9–10 Performance anxiety, 113, 138–39 Planned Parenthood, 106–7 Polygyny, 153–54 Postpartum, 86–87 238 Pregnancy, 28, 43–50, 79, 82–85; childbirth, 85–86; complications, 84–85; miscarriage, 83–84; postpartum, 86–87; and STIs, 73–76; teenage, 10–12; unwanted, 10–12, 18 Premarital sex, 11–12, 156 Premature ejaculation, 112–13, 139 Prenatal androgen theory, 37, 44, 193–95 Progesterone, 79–80, 87, 125, 133 Prostatitis, 75 Prostitution, 89 Psychoanalysis, 100–104 Puberty, 123–26 Rape, 90–93, 96, 158–62; acquaintance rape, 92, 160; and aggression, 54, 57; date rape, 47, 92 Refractory period, 134–35 Relationships: communication, 14–17; healthy and dysfunctional, 63–71; romantic, 48–49 Religion, 7–9; Christianity, 97–98; Judaism, 7, 95–96; Shamans, 146, 157 Roe v Wade, 82 Safe sex, 76–81 Sanger, Margaret, 106–8 Sensate focusing, 113 Sex education, 10; abstinence-only, 10–11, 78, 89, 181–92; controversy, 182–92 Sexism, 61–63 See also Male privilege Sexual abuse See Sexual victimization Sexual attraction, 12, 33, 44, 123, 193–94 Sexual aversion disorder, 128 Sexual behavior/attitudes: in adolescence, 129–30; in adults, 130–34; around the world, 154–56; cheating, 57, 64–65; during puberty, 123–29; in early childhood, 121–22; in early Index infancy, 118–21; flirting, 17; foreplay, 49, 140–41; historical perspectives about, 95–113; hooking up, 17–18; masturbation, 136–39; in older adults, 134–37; paraphilias, 71–72; premarital sex, 11–12, 156; in school age years, 122–23; sexual intercourse, 56–58; swinging, 22–23; touching, 48–49 Sexual disorder See Sexual problems Sexual harassment, 90–93 Sexual intercourse, 56–58 Sexuality: communication with partners, 90–95; controversies and debates, 181–88; current views and influences, 97–100, 105, 109–14; defined, 3; talking to children, 5–6; throughout the life cycle, 117–27 Sexually transmitted infection (STI), 72–82, 87–89; AIDS, 74; bacterial, 72–73; HIV, 74–75, 130; impact on fertility, 73–75; parasitic, 75; viral, 73–75 Sexual orientation, 12–14, 23–25, 31–46; and discrimination, 62–63; heterosexuality, 62–66; homosexuality, 12, 31–50, 192–97; impact on gender identity, 13–14, 25–31; intersexual, 45; transgendered individuals, 28, 42–46; transsexualism, 28, 44–45; transvestic fetishism, 45–46 Sexual pain disorder, 139 Sexual positions, 139 Sexual problems: erectile disorder, 112, 138; female orgasmic disorder, 140; female sexual arousal disorder, 140; hypoactive sexual desire, 139; male orgasmic disorder, 139; performance anxiety, 113, 138–39; premature ejaculation, 112–13, 139; sexual aversion disorder, 128; sexual pain disorder, 139; vaginismus, 112, 140 Index Sexual revolution, 113–14 Sexual victimization: of children, 90–93; rape, 90–93, 96, 158–62; sexual harassment, 90–93 See also Child sexual abuse; Incest; Rape; Sexual harassment Shamans, 146 Social learning theory, 35–36, 193–94 Sodomy, 39 Spermicides, 79 Stalking, 68–69 STDs See Sexually transmitted infection (STI) Stonewall riots, 114 Swinging, 22–23 Tewa people, 146–47 Touching, 48–49 239 Transgendered individuals, 42–46 Transsexualism, 28, 44–45 Transvestic fetishism, 45–46 Two-spirit people See Berdache Vaginismus, 112, 140 Values, 4; around the world, 145–65; development of, 122, 127–30; on sexual behavior, 48, 95, 100, 105, 114 Voluntary sterilization, 80 Von Kraft-Ebing, Richard, 98–99 Withdrawal, 78 Wright, Helena, 105–6 Young adulthood, 131–32 ... from the publisher Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Helm, Katherine (Katherine M. ) author Hooking up : the psychology of sex and dating / Katherine M Helm pages cm — (The psychology. .. where they learn about sex, most Hooking Up state that they get their sexual information from the Internet, peer group, and movies (sometimes pornography) Most report being dissatisfied with their... 1 What: The Many Forms of Sex Why: The Importance of Sex in Our Lives 25 How: The Positive and Negative Effects of Sex 53 Who: Psychologists’ Theories about Sex 95 When: Sex throughout the Life