J Bennington loves Native American Indian Items and Decorations. He becomes overly fond of Cordra, a part Lakota Indian who is helping him at his work place. One night she helps himself to his body and his life changes, some good love, some bad anger from his daughter and wife. He learns that life is a constant learning adventure from that point onward.
Cordra Copyright 2015 J Bennington Published by J Bennington at Free E-Books Table of Contents Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five About Other Books Sneak Preview Connect with J Bennington CHAPTER ONE I should have known that life would not progress as I planned Cordra, a three-quarters blood Lakota Indian woman was my chauffeur at the time I worked for a branch of the State Government, and I was grateful that they went out of their way to help me maintain my benefits and position I had a full leg cast on my left leg and could not drive So, they arranged for my chauffeur to pick me up at home, drive me to work, and then the opposite when the day ended The year was rough for me For seven months, starting in December of the last year and running into this year, I suffered from a Chronic Fatigue Virus (CFV) It started as a case of flu I got well and got it again Then there was bronchitis, twice and during this period, the CFV took control It does that when your immune system is too weak to fight anything Fatigue? Yes I worked forty-hour overtime shifts on a special project in one month It paid for a trip to Florida, both money and time, but I don‟t remember much of it I probably added to the whipping I got by doing that Problem is, with a CFV, you don‟t care about much I slept eighteen hours a day I got up to go potty, get a drink, eat a snack, look dejectedly at piles of clothes and dishes and papers everywhere, and give the whole house an obscene gesture and go back to bed I could nothing I slept, soundly, for great lengths of time and woke tired I ventured out sometimes at night I couldn‟t stand the daytime I started drinking Arizona J Green Tea I griped at myself for buying a case, but in less than a week, it was gone I bought two, then two more, and in the end, I drank eleven cases during that illness My body must have loved something in the tea, which is an antioxidant Then the CFV was gone One Saturday I woke, and it was like a switch was thrown, and I had my life back My energy level returned fairly quickly That was in June I went to West Virginia for the Fourth of July reunion and celebration Had my own fireworks when I broke all three bones in my left ankle That got me back home, swiftly, in the hospital for an operation and then a lot of pain and a long period of helplessness My employer, the State of Delaware was very kind and let me work near home and out of my home, anyway I could They even arranged transportation for me That‟s how Cordra came into my life She volunteered to give me transportation to and from work for a time until I could manage on my own It was another special project but most welcome It got me out of the house and let me feel useful Being in a wheelchair, alone in an empty house, can be very devastating to your morale The first week was relatively uneventful with only a surface exchange of conversation between us It wasn‟t to last On the tenth day, she waited until I finished the arduous task of crawling into my house and standing by the kitchen sink before I sat in my wheelchair “Is there anything else I can for you?”It was the fourth time that afternoon she had asked the question and that time she stood very close to me “Not at the moment, thanks.” I longed for the wheelchair and the silence when she closed the door behind her She closed her eyes and shook her head “You‟re so hesitant to ask for anything,” she whispered Her jet-black hair, damp from humidity, glistened in the sun through the kitchen windows I could smell the odor of stale perfume and body sweat, but still it was pleasant, too pleasant She slipped her arms around me and kissed me before I knew she had it planned There was little I could do, so I stood there and enjoyed the taste of her mouth on mine, and the tiny puffs of air across my cheek, because she chose not to move right away My hands slipped around her shoulders and slid down her back, using her warm body as a brace for my wounded leg She bore the weight and finally moved her face away “Good?” she breathed the question across my mouth and nose “You got it Good to the hundredth power, near an astronomical explosion But why? We shouldn‟t.” “I‟ve got to return the truck tonight Will you open the door for me when I come back? Or should I keep the keys? I‟d prefer you opening the door Please?” She jiggled the key ring for emphasis “That would mean a great deal to me.” She kissed me once more before I could answer, and I shivered as her body heat seeped through her clothes and my clothes “I‟ll open the door,” I sighed when she released me again That time she stepped back with a wink and a grin I shivered and turned to sit in my chair “It‟ll be difficult.” “A turn of the lock is easy, Jim.” “I was referring to my cast.” “You‟ll be on your back, so not to worry It works well in most any position Trust me.” “You‟re bad for me Why you use the name Cordra anyway? Mysterious Indian meaning?” “No I don‟t care too much for any cords Male or female.” “Not much of an explanation.” “I also like to play with cords Ropes Twine Strings Chastity belts Whips Bondage things like that.” She grinned “You like the name?” “Yes I like it It‟s different, but nice.” “Then cling to me and enjoy the woman who wears it I‟m here for your good For our good Trust me.” “That remains to be seen.” “I‟ll be back within an hour Hopefully.” She handed me the door keys “Don‟t worry I‟ll make it as easy as I can.” She was back within thirty minutes She must have flown, thinking I would change my mind I did change my mind, several times, but in the end, I left the screen door unlocked, and the kitchen door standing wide open, just as she left it I swear I never saw a happier face than when she stood in my kitchen again and closed the door behind her “Traffic lights were generous tonight Green lights all the way to and from Another green light here Tonight Cordra‟s lucky Wahoo!” The deadbolt lock clunked with a twist of her fingers It set her mind firmer with the rest of the world locked away She moved my chair to the hallway “Let‟s feed the rush.” “What rush?” I asked, longing to delay what would happen “Go, she whispered and pushed me down the hallway toward the bedroom “Don‟t speak Not another word of pleasure, pain, or protest Not until we‟re done.” Until we‟re done? That was more or less set It had been a year since I had sex with my wife Possibly longer than that for any pleasant sex Cordra was hotter now and there was an unmistakable change in her body odor as her clothes came off and she showered me with hugs, touches and kisses The next morning when I woke, I heard her in the bathroom She whistled an undeterminable, repeating phrase over the running water I stretched and relaxed on my side to observe the leaves on my neighbor‟s lilac bushes blowing in the breeze The wind passed through the window and increased in velocity when Corda opened the bathroom door “Morning,” she said gaily As her weight shifted the mattress, I rolled into her “You look much nicer this morning More relaxed.” “Feel it also You‟re amazing.” “Hope you don‟t mind my using your toothbrush I forgot to pack mine in the rush of things.” “I can live with it I won‟t go psycho over that infraction.” “I‟m sorry about this Unlike you, I have to go to work now See ya at ten-thirty.” She kissed me and ran her hands through my hair With that, she was gone What can I say? The change in my life did me good The isolation and total dependence on other people to help me with nearly everything in my life worked for her, for our advantage I lay in the bed for a while, remembering the night behind us and I felt great, for the first time in a long while At that moment, I didn‟t want it to end Eventually, I roused myself from the daydream and clambered into my wheelchair Ten-thirty It was a long time arriving that morning She laughed and gave a thumb up when I told her it felt like a whole week since I‟d seen her last “I failed to mention that little tidbit I‟m addictive Just one connection with a Lakota squaw is enough to hook you and secures my fixes for life.” “Yeah, right Either that or until my wife comes home.” “Cross that bridge when it‟s built Don‟t fear it Don‟t hasten it However, burn it afterwards,” she whispered I shivered and stood so she could fold up the wheelchair The room wasn‟t cold, but I felt chilled for a moment She sounded way too serious for a one-night romp in bed I recalled a flash of Poe‟s Pit and the Pendulum as I scooted out the door, and she handed my crutches Only the blade was lower and aimed at a much smaller part of me than my stomach “Bobbitt, bobbitt,” I said, croaking like a frog “She wouldn‟t dare That would be the worst mistake of her life.” The statement was calmly delivered with a great deal of confidence, as if she‟d been there before, knew my wife, and was certain of the outcome I felt strangely secure with that answer Better than the one thought I had anyway She put her State truck away and took me home in her own vehicle that night I protested, a little, but it did no good Lakota squaws make the decisions in most matters I was informed And after all, who am I, a one- legged marvel to argue with her when I looked forward to her company in my house and in my bed With my days filled with working on the special project and my nights filled with gaiety, laughter, conversations, playing, and Cordra‟s warmth, I thought of little else, like a blind man nearing the edge of a cliff We lay in bed, early one evening, not long after we arrived home We both fell asleep, exhausted from our lovemaking spree, and I woke instantly when the bedroom door opened I raised my face above her breast line and stared across her nipples at the door that was starting to close, pulled by my white- faced daughter, Beth “Oh no,” I sighed and rested my chin on her ribs “Trouble?” she asked, playing with my hair “Yes.” I closed my eyes and didn‟t move “Mighty quiet Wife?” “Maybe worse Daughter,” I answered as my stomach did a flop “Does she always enter your bedroom without knocking?” “No But she has a key to the house And since I‟ve been enjoying you, getting fixed every night, and loving it, I‟ve not called her or talked with her since we‟ve been playing She‟s just worried about me for lack of contact.” “Well, what are you going to do?” she grinned “Tell her the truth.” The bed shook from her giggling “That should be fun Can I watch? Listen?” “I‟m sure the neighbors on both sides will hear.” I began to regret ever letting her back in the house the first night I rolled over her, dres sed, and got situated in my wheelchair She opened the door for me, hugged my neck, and patted my shoulder “Good luck I‟ll be there for support in just a moment.” She disappeared into the bathroom with her clothes Some women have very exquisite faces when they‟re angry When I entered the kitchen, Beth‟s face was more ravishing than I could ever recall, and there were photos of her all over the house Her jaw muscles were tense, and her cheeks and forehead were crimson The fingers on both hands drummed the tabletop at 125 words per minute without stopping “Hi, Beth,” I said, as evenly as I could Her face snapped in my direction “What are you doing, Dad?” “Nothing major.” “That‟s a laugh! How long‟s she been here? You‟ve not talked to me for a week or more Almost two.” “About that long About seven days, more or less Lost track of time Sorry.” “You can say that again.” “Hey, she‟s a nice woman,” I said, suddenly feeling the need to defend Cordra “Hah! I‟m sure you could find fifty men in Dover to back you up on that, but a snapshot is worth a thousand words Why? Why are you doing her?” “Well, I never intended for that to happen Didn‟t look for it She was the one assigned to take me to work and bring me home Give me a ride.” “And what else was she assigned to do? Driver and low-life, low-bid hooker for hire?” “She‟s nothing like that She was there I was there And that‟s what happened Don‟t make so much out of it.” “I come here, worried because you don‟t call or return my calls, find you in bed with a naked woman, and I‟m not supposed to make anything of it? You‟re very dense, Dad Mom‟s not going to like this She‟ll be worse than me to deal with.” On that statement, as if on cue, Cordra entered the kitchen and walked behind Beth She intentionally extended a hand and brushed it through Beth‟s short brown hair, more than enough for her to know it “Hi I‟m Cordra You‟re Jim‟s daughter, but I don‟t have a name for you yet.” “I‟ve got one for you!” said Beth “I can imagine I‟m Cordra Who are you? I like the names of people who hate me without knowing me.” “Beth As if it matters Just leave, and leave us alone!” “You don‟t have to be so loud,” I said to Beth “And you don‟t have to be screwing her What‟s Mom going to when she finds out? “I don‟t know.” I felt confidence slipping downhill rapidly I felt unable to defend myself or Cordra I longed for a transporter beam to get me away from both Beam me up, Scottie Send me back when the smoke settles Cordra poured a glass of iced tea in the ensuing silence and sat back down at the table She knew it irritated Beth, and I thought it rather rude, but I couldn‟t bring myself to ask her to leave It reminded me of many family get-together from the past Beth was blunt about it “You don‟t need to be screwing her, Dad Have you lost your mind?” I gazed at Cordra for a moment Her voice was in my head She wouldn’t dare The words came again giving me a conviction I didn‟t feel at the moment I’m addicted And who better to be addicted to? Lakota woman, you one fine specimen Zowie! Bend over and grab your ankles And with that thought, I came returned from the corner of the universe, back to the table and the present “Lost my mind? No way,” I said firmly.“My virginity? Yes, it‟s gone My horniness? Yes It‟s gone My mind? No way.” Cordra sprayed a mouthful of tea on the table and grabbed a few napkins to blot it up “That was a good one I like that.” She winked and blew me a kiss when Beth looked at her “Get lost, wench!” Beth said I grabbed her hand to stop her in mid swing “That‟s not necessary, Beth Leave her alone Deal with me Keep the anger focused where it belongs.” Beth wrenched her hand away, and the look on her face was indescribable Cordra stood and tucked the napkins inside the empty tea glass “Look, since I‟m only inciting a riot and hostility here, what say I take a walk around the block or two and let you two chit-chat? Sound great?” “Yes,” Beth said “Try the middle of the highway Turn a few tricks and then mosey on home, your home.” Cordra passed her chair and then turned and patted Beth‟s cheek to deliberately increase her anger “You‟re tough Resilient I like that in daughters That‟s a good quality.” Once more, I stayed the hand that wanted to fight and breathed easier when the screen door closed behind Cordra “This is wrong, Dad! So wrong! I can‟t believe it‟s happening Why? Gah!” She slapped the table top “Beth, honey, sorry you had to walk in on us that way Would it have been better if she was clothed?” “What?” she answered, her face numb with disbelief “Better if she were clothed? Better if she weren‟t there at all I don‟t want to see my father screwing some low- life hooker who‟s not his wife and my mother.” I watched her closely and her face began to relax, slightly “You‟re not going to apologize, are you?” she said after a short silence “You‟re not going to ask her to leave, are you?” “I‟m still kicking that around,” I said “Mom‟s going to be very angry She‟ll kill you I don‟t want to see you dead You know what I mean?” I shrugged and disagreed However, in the back of my mind, doubts were starting to surface once more Beth sighed and rubbed both hands across her cheeks “Her hands are hot,” she said faintly “Who started it?” “She asked to help me She kissed me She left and came back I left the door open for her I wish I could say I regret it, but that part of me won‟t lie.” “And Mom?” I coined Cordra‟s phrase “I‟ll cross that bridge when it‟s built.” “Let her find out like I did?” “I‟m not sure that‟s a good idea Like I said, I‟m still kicking it around.” “What about me?” “This has nothing to with you,” I said, and then stopped It did have a lot to with her “I take that back I didn‟t mean for you to find out this way I should have talked with you Should have had you over for dinner and let you find her here and add two and two beforehand I never meant for her to be here after the first night I thought it was just a fantasy of hers to have sex with a crippled man Some women It lets them be on top and in charge for a while Never dreamed she would be back again Never dreamed I‟d let her come back Never dreamed I‟d fall in love with her Really But I have and that‟s that.” Beth managed a faint smile “I can hear the truth in that, but.” “I know I should have stopped She told me she was addictive I didn‟t listen too well.” “Then again, you did You‟re my father, and neither of us can change that now As soon as you grabbed my hand the first time, when I wanted to deck her, knock her brains loose, I knew it was more than a casual affair It might be a swift love occurrence, but you stopped me You never stopped either mom or me when we fought in the past.” I stared at her resolute face “That‟s right I know I‟m not a child any longer I‟m married, remember?” I simply nodded “You listened to her with your heart, body, and mind She must have sung a good song of love to turn you around so fast I hope she‟s worth the hell that‟s going to break loose Soon.” “Beth,” I started to say Her hand came up swiftly “Don‟t Just don‟t defend yourself or explain yourself That snapshot of you two in bed said it all It‟s ingrained here,” she pointed to her head, “forever It‟s okay I‟ll get over it Just shut up.” I nodded and she stood swiftly “I‟m still your daughter Don‟t diss me because of a lifestyle change Okay?” “Never, duck That‟s a given in the formula I‟m sorry I got so involved that I forgot to communicate I‟ll get better.” “Good.” She stepped beside the chair She hugged me and kissed my neck “She wears good cologne too She smells good, in spite of my anger, and she‟ll probably be good for you, if you survive Mom I‟ll let myself out and I‟ll call before I come in from now on See ya.” “Beth,” I called when she reached the door “I know You‟re sorry for me, but not for her Right?” she said for me “Right on See ya soon.” Not two minutes later, Cordra returned “You‟ve got a strong daughter there I believe it would‟ve hurt if you hadn‟t stopped her From the looks of her face and your face, I‟d venture that things are somewhat okay? Even if it‟s still shaky?” “Something like that.” “Thanks for stopping her and for defending me I thought that was very nice A very romantic gesture.” “You amaze me, my darling Are you some sort of medicine woman? Casting spells or what-not?” “No I‟m Cordra Born with the name Tiger Lily, and not knowing why, since there were none of those flowers near my birthplace Maybe it‟s my freckles No spells Just love Just a deep attraction When I saw you the first time, it was like you‟d been in my life forever, then disappeared, then suddenly returned My awareness of the world, my spirit, everything about me came to life when you touched my hand My heart leapt with joy Where I was empty, I was full Where I was lonely, I was secure The sex only served to bond us The rest was there from the start Before we met.” I scratched the back of my neck “Well, I don‟t know about all that Sounds good Are you trying to say, destiny?” “Yes Sort of that That has a nice ring to it You have too much resolution, too much strength to say no to women You could walk away and leave a woman panting in bed and never be concerned about it When my lips met yours, tasted yours, you melted too quickly It was like a landslide of emotions that set us on a proper course.” “But what are we going to do? If this is destiny, what‟s the purpose?” “Let your spirit make the choice It‟s worked well so far With Beth It‟ll work in the future Patience Or you want me to leave? Will that be the proper answer?” I opened my arms and she filled them “No,” I whispered into her hair “That‟s not the answer Not yet.” What about Carol? my mind offered just for kicks “Worried about Carol?” “You eaves dropping on my mind? I‟ve thought about her a lot recently.” “Only because of sex?” “No You know better than that Like you, I feel you‟ve been a part of me all my life I just don‟t look forward to the conflict that will happen when she returns home.” “You‟ve been separated so long and for silly reasons Do you want more of the same? Maybe I shouldn‟t ask that.” “You can ask; you should ask; and the answer is no.” “I don‟t think you‟ll have to deal with such a vast problem alone,” she said and kissed me “In fact, it will most likely be her and me in a battle of sexuality and will And since she has nothing to gain, and I have everything to lose, the balance of will and power is on my side She lost when you kissed me eight days ago The trip to bed was the clincher.” She kissed me again “Relax You‟re not in this alone Cordra‟s here, and she‟ll stay the treasonous hand this time Okay?” “Okay,” I relented, and I truly believed her Two days later, Beth was in the kitchen when we got home from work She gave us instructions to wash up for dinner, but not together Beth is a good cook, chef quality, and excels at most everything she sets her mind to Therefore the dinner took me by surprise, since she obviously didn‟t like Cordra‟s presence in my life I asked what she was up to and she simply pointed to the bathroom with a wry smile and said to go “Mmm, mmm, this smells good,” Cordra said when we were seated at the table The meal was a simple spaghetti and marinara sauce, but one that Beth had made from scratch, including the spaghetti The blend of spices she refused to write down for anyone were a killer, but not in the literal sense She reserved it for special occasions and banquets and people shelled out a heavy amount of cash to be wowed and delighted “Do you have a cup bearer? Someone to sample it first It might be laden with poisons,” Beth said Cordra held eye contact with her for a moment then shook her head “No cup bearer necessary And I trust you You might dislike me intensely, and you might whip my ass unmercifully in a physical fight, but you don‟t have the balls to poison me Too subtle an approach for you A Neanderthal attack with a curmudgeon would be more appropriate to take me out.” Beth laughed so hard she had to sit “Okay Point taken You can eat with no worries I have a reputation to uphold Deaths put a crimp in your style in the food industry.” Small talk and groans of delight filled the rest of the dinner Beth cleared the table and served freshly brewed jasmine tea for us “Okay, time for a powwow,” she said to Cordra “What are your intentions? Since I can see you‟re not planning to leave, what you intend to do? He is married and to my mother This won‟t sit well with her.” “I‟m well aware of that Is this dinner and tea a form of Beth‟s Peace Pipe?” “You got it.” She gave a thumb up “I have to know where and how I fit in I‟m not going to lose Dad in this affair, not without a fight “Fair statement You‟re not going to lose what you have with him You might gain I told you when we first met that I liked your spirit I meant that It‟s good, healthy, and lively I wouldn‟t dare to try to come between you two.” “But you don‟t mind coming between them?” “Not entirely a true statement A part of me dislikes the encumbered situation and says I should stop I‟m not the slut you think I have a conscience, but the rest of me, like you, doesn‟t want to let go We‟re probably more alike than you‟ll be willing to admit for a while, but someday you will.” “I‟ll admit that now That‟s probably why I don‟t like you being here You have your mind set and won‟t back down And I‟d probably the same if I had the balls to so I don‟t want to see dad hurt.” “I‟m not intending to hurt him.” “But what about mom? She has a penchant for violence.” “Not to worry about that Any obstacle can be overcome Any mountain can be relocated if only by moving one stone at a time until there‟s nothing left here, but it reappears way over there.” “So, you‟re going to stay in his life and then what?” “Get pregnant and give you a brother and sister, or two, or maybe three to play with Maybe even four Bring some Indian diversification to the family.” her And who was I to say he couldn‟t love me under the equivalent conditions? Who was I to determine that?” At first, my mind said it was made up, but she was too relaxed, and it was a lso spontaneous “He really said that?” “Yes It blew me away I was so scared when he kissed me and then, wham, that happened He kissed me again afterward, and told me to relax, that he wouldn‟t push me, but he wasn‟t going to give up on having someone so gentle and affectionate like me in his life.” “You are those qualities and you are worthwhile Red Hawk doesn‟t take to just anyone who walks through our door You‟re special Glad Doug noticed that I‟d like to meet him someday soon.” “You will So, that‟s one reason I‟m glad you‟re alone I‟d love to thank you for not giving up on me and breaking down my wall of hate.” She kissed my cheek That makes things easier, I thought to myself “The next thing I‟d like to bring up is you and Cordra.” She returned her head to my shoulder “At times when I‟m here, I can‟t help but think that there‟s too much tension around the house I love you That‟s a given, but it‟s not a lustful situation It‟s like the love I‟d give to my dad if he was still alive However, I sometimes hear her crying and her voice too harsh and loud Is she jealous of me and you? Does she think we‟re having an affair?” I chuckled and squeezed her “No You picked the incorrect guy and the wrong problem.” She gasped “Red Hawk! She‟s jealous of us? Why?” “Definitely With her, he‟s a Lakota Warrior to the max He can‟t accept affection or help or love With you, he sucks up to you and overloads himself, and you the same You feed each other what you need and that‟s really great for both of you, but it pisses Cordra off something fierce.” “Wow!” She sat up straight “That explains a lot Is that the only reason?” “No The other is she wants to get pregnant again, and she‟s worried that time is running out ” “Because you‟re getting older?” she interrupted “That‟s silly.” “Not really, but the problem is your extreme sensuality By you being in the house on a fairly constant basis, it‟s brought out a competitive side of her and she‟s gotten herself off cycle Your ovulation and signals have caused her to the same, but she‟s too early and her body‟s not ready She competes against your body‟s signals, goes through the sexual motions, but gets no results and gets frustrated to no end It‟s a very effective birth control.” “And my depriving her of Red Hawk‟s affection is the camel-breaking straw,” she finished “Wow! That explains a lot.” “And it makes it easier, since Doug is working out for the moment I‟ve been wracking my brain, trying to find a way to tell you to slack off on your visits without hurting you or Red Hawk Song Bird‟s children will work for him, and Doug will work for you If my theory‟s right, about two months is enough and Cordra will be pregnant and dying to share that with you Then you can come on back as part of the family.” “Wow! That‟s awesome and very acceptable I don‟t want to interfere with your marriage However, I don‟t want to give up the relationship we have I like her too Guess I should spend some time with her and let her know that, though Huh?” “That would help However, wait until she‟s pregnant We need that physical separation for a time Especially when you ovulate Please randomize your visits around that for a while.” She smiled and snuggled against me again “Relationships are complicated, huh?” “They can get that way, but they‟re basically simple It helps if both parties are aware of their environment and each other When they‟re not, that‟s where serious problems arise.” “I‟ll try to avoid that in my marriage Can I learn all I can from you, before you‟re too old?” she giggled “Yes You want to get married? And have babies?” “Yes Can I sit here, just like this, having you hold me until the sun goes down? Then I‟ll scoot on home.” “Yes, but walking or driving would be easier on your bottom,” I said seriously “I hope Doug has your sense of humor,” she said Every so often, she would come and talk with me in the swing, but not when she was in her time as she called it Cordra had calmed down and though it wasn‟t time yet, she said she knew she was pregnant That fact lifted a load of depression and sour moods from her life, and mine Red Hawk was more amenable to Cordra and that let Suzanne and I to have a few father-todaughter moments together “Why don‟t you live on the reservation? With Cordra being so much Indian, I figured you‟d want to be there.” Suzanne asked one night when we were alone She had been acting funny, not hilarious, but not her normal self for a few weeks I took a sip of tea and set the swing in motion “I was born in West Virginia, in the Appalachian Mountains Have you seen any of the documentaries on television about them? The people and their life?” “Yes Rather depressing.” “Well, that was my roots Being in the military, I traveled to Asia, and I found the same life there Not only in Korea, but in Japan, Thailand, Viet Nam Poverty and abject hopelessness is everywhere I‟ve lived in Section housing, if you want to call it living And I‟ve lived in ghettos The Indians on the reservations don‟t have even that good a life The only ones who are the ones fortunate to get off the reservation and get into an outside corporation or government job.” “That‟s hard to believe.” “Why? Because you‟ve been to some of the powwows?” “Yes I enjoyed those The food, the stories, the music, and the dances, but it also comes from television and movies That media doesn‟t reflect that kind of poverty.” I stopped the swing and set my glass down on the side table “That‟s right and they never will Before I went to Germany, I started working and playing with computers While I was in Germany, I stopped watching television completely I read books instead Then I started writing, to get so many decades of garbage out of my head It‟s amazing how clear you can think when you don‟t have the television producers and writers thinking for you.” “You don‟t watch television?” “No Not more than a month total in the last ten to twelve years I find no future in that And it leads many people to believe in what is not real or truthful Movies and television dramas are designed, created, and written to help a person fantasize for a while, to forget about reality for a while And to help the writers and producers make a profit Problem is, too many people think that the fantasy is real It‟s not “Once, about six years ago when I was still in Delaware, I was standing in the checkout line at a food store and I listened to two women in front of me The discussion concerned a woman on death row, and she was going to be executed by lethal injection for murdering her husband I could not recall any such story in the news, and I paid attention as they argued pro and over executing women for killing husbands, divorce laws, and then back to the subject woman One woman was crying over the pending execution and hoping that it would be stayed Then I got close enough to read the tabloid covers and there was the woman on the front cover of a daytime drama tabloid “That much emotion and drama over a play? They probably don‟t know or care if their nextdoor neighbor has a heart attack or dies, but a drama player is going to be snuffed and look out It was a ploy to attract a lot of attention, a lot of viewers, and to let the actress go away If she‟s executed, how can she be back next month, unless it‟s a ghost part.” “I never considered it before, but the people where I work talk a lot about television sitcoms And they argue over why things happened on the shows and what‟s going to happen next What about documentaries?” “Documentaries are fine, as long as they display the truth By that I mean they should show both sides of a situation, not one That way people could see both angles and then understand the whole picture instead of one corner.” “Bias That‟s what you mean You‟re right I remember a show recently where the news anchorwoman was taking small tidbits and building a strong case of child abuse when, in fact, there was a tremendous amount of love and caring happening That happens in real life?” “Too frequently Take Zaire a few years ago Millions of human beings were being senselessly slaughtered, and the news casts were flooded with worries over a tribe of gorillas being in the middle of the conflict Forget the humans So what if two or three million die Gotta save the gorilla from all this madness Don‟t stop the war Don‟t stop the human slaughter Just save the gorilla The broadcasts resulted in a lot of support for the wildlife fund, and a lot of anger for the stupid humans who were so callous to the gorilla It turned into „It‟s okay to slaughter each other, but don‟t hurt the gorilla.‟ I received three requests for emergency wildlife donations, which I refused I waited for the to save the human donations, which never happened.” “Guess I touched a nerve, huh?” She patted my arm “This is good Come to think of it, I‟ve not seen too many documentaries on the Indians ll I‟ve seen is what I‟ve known at the powwows And I guess there're a lot of shows there, huh?” “Yes Some of the vendors are there to make a buck and will act like they are Indian to line their pockets with your money and your shelves with trinkets Those things around your house doesn't make you Indian If you‟re not full or part Indian at birth, then you‟re not Get over it I have Indian decorations, but I it for the decoration I it because it creates a relaxing and inspiring environment I don‟t it because I want to be a Lakota Indian.” “So, let me guess When you and Cordra first moved here, there was an argument about this subject?” Sabu “Right on It was the first argument between us,” I said “Was I the second?” “If you want to be, you were Your wounded spirit caused a few disputes, but not over infidelity or straying love or lifestyle change But, we did over the reservation She wanted me to become a tribal member through the ceremony I didn‟t want to I already knew that that lifestyle have not for me I have a good relationship with them I take what I need to feed my mind and spirit, and I give back to them what I can, when I can I was not an Indian at birth, and I don‟t want to be one now Not in their present world.” “What about in the past? Like when the first white men hadn‟t discovered this world yet?” I shook my head “What part of I don‟t want to be an Indian don‟t you understand? I don‟t want to be an African, a Chinese, a Korean, an Arab I want to be me J Bennington What‟s wrong with that?” “Nothing, but I hear about people wanting to be Indians and I don‟t understand.” “And you‟ll never hear people wanting to be Asian or Black There are so many mistaken truths and outright lies about the Indians that prompt that wannabe phenomena However, if you take those people and let them live on the reservation for a week, with no option to leave; they'll be back where they belong pronto, and not want to go again I don‟t think there would be anyone who would willingly walk a mile in their shoes Unless they were masochists who loved pain, prejudice, starvation, hopelessness, and mental anguish as a way of life The Indians want what everyone else wants, but there are so many laws, rules, broken treaties, and double standards, that for the majority of them, it‟s impossible to achieve And all they want is to be themselves where they can be free to live as they wish “There is no glorified mystical euphoria that surrounds the Indians There is nothing of the old ways that is alive today, except what they don‟t share with the visitors to the powwows and museums And just like in this world, each year brings more and more youth who want nothing to with their past or ancestry I imagine that bothers the tribal elders, but there‟s not much to about it If youth don‟t want to carry on the traditions, then the traditions die It happened to the European settlers It happened to industry It happened to the Chinese, Irish, and Italians It‟s many ways of life that are dying all over the world.” “Progress?” she offered “Yes Progress presented and offered exclusively by big government, bigger multinational corporations, and the biggest demons who portray themselves as saints.” “Wow, I love this,” she said “You seem like you‟re such a quiet man, but when you get started, wow I‟d like to talk more about this in the future Even so, can we change the topic for right now?” “Be my guest,” I said “Use me but don‟t abuse me and leave at least a twenty spot on the night stand in the morning.” “You‟re crazy.” That‟s when Cordra came to the gate and called us After dinner, Red Hawk went upstairs and Suzanne stayed with us “What was your next topic?” I finally asked her “Dinner interrupted us, but not now Go for it?” “Hmm,” she blushed and she came round the table and straddled my legs like she did on the night of her storm “Well, something good has finally happened to me and I‟d like to share that with you, and Cordra Doug and I are getting married in three months.” She paused, and her eyes misted "And I'd really love it if you‟d give me away You sound and act so much like my real father I know from what you said earlier tonight, that it might bother you, but could you that for just one day? Please?” “Hey, Suzanne, there‟s a lot of difference in this situation I‟m not being asked or expected to change my way of life and thinking, etcetera Being a father for you is not a problem I‟ve got a big heart and there‟s room for more people for me to love I‟d be happy to that Are you sure of this? I know it‟s been a few months, but it seems sudden to me.” Cordra joined us, and she rested her hands on Suzanne‟s shoulders “Hey, you‟re tense Are you okay? What‟s up with you and your mood swings lately?” “I‟m tense, because this is something new for me Something I never thought I‟d Not before I met J Bennington and you and had my life suddenly opened and redirected I‟m nervous, because I‟d convinced myself, I‟d never get pregnant However, I‟ve been playing with Doug, and after I missed the second period, the doctor confirmed it I‟m pregnant And before you ask, Doug proposed before he knew That news just kicked his happy meter up a few notches.” “Good deal,” I said “His mother is excited also, and that‟s where the problem and tension are coming from I‟ve heard the story about Red Hawk being born here, in the house, and I‟d like that too I‟d rather have my baby where the love, trust, and acceptance are implicit versus where I have to be so constantly reassured it‟s okay, and I‟m acceptable Can you dig that? His mother and I have the breast cancer, the mastectomy things in common, but that doesn‟t make us family She‟s truly happy that I‟m pregnant, and that I‟m going to marry her Dougy, but it‟s nothing like the true love I feel here in this home.” “Hey, congratulations,” Cordra said and patted her back “You have your baby where you want and don‟t worry about the in- laws You‟re about two months along?” “Yes.” “That will put us pretty close together for delivery times,” Cordra said “Beth will be here to help me I‟ve already talked with her You want me to arrange for her to help you also? She‟s good at delivering babies She fussed and complained about everyt hing under the sun until I went into labor Then it was „Forget everything I said, and bring the child on, mama.‟” “Beth‟s got a good heart,” Suzanne said “I‟d like that You think it‟ll be a problem?” “Nah,” Cordra said “I‟ll give you her number, and yo u tell her Cordra recommended you call, and you‟re call, call, flint.” “What about me? Is anyone concerned about me?” I asked Cordra flashed a coy smile my way “Not unless you‟re pregnant Are you?” “What you complaining about? You‟ll have a big ego, being in a house with three women who love you,” said Suzanne “Also three women who know too much However, you‟re probably right.” Suzanne stood and kissed me “Thanks for everything I‟m going upstairs now and hang out with my soul mate for a while Do you think it‟s alright to tell him about this? Would you mind?” “It‟s quite okay,” Cordra answered “I‟ve told him that I‟m going to give him a brother or sister to play with soon And being around Song Bird‟s family has let him see other siblings in other families Just don‟t get too technical when you answer questions Thanks for asking.” “No problem, and I‟m grateful that you‟ve told me you love me without saying the words, because that‟s worth more than all the riches in the world for me.” “You sure Suzanne and Beth aren‟t twins?” Cordra asked when she left “Sometimes I wonder,” I said “In mind and spirit, and empathy, they are, but no They‟re not DNA twins But, they‟re neither one a coincidence They were given to us for a purpose.” “Well spoken, Chief Quiet One And what might that purpose be?” “To show us what we can when we love each other with the gifts that God, the Great Spirit has given us When we do, it produces many Beth‟s and many Suzanne‟s and more of you and I to carry on the future generations God‟s love for His people, you, I, Beth, Red Hawk, Suzanne, the entire population will continue, unfailingly, until there is no man, woman, or child on the earth, and no earth to sustain life And so far, you‟re doing quite well.” “Wow,” she said and shivered as she straddled my legs like Suzanne I snaked one hand between us and squeezed her stomach “Can you handle twins this time?” “It‟s not twins, as least I don‟t think so Do you know something I don‟t? There haven‟t been twins in my lineage for several generations.” “Well, be prepared to generate two lives this time Double your pleasure.” “Are you serious?” I felt her body tense and a sharp intake of breath “No, I‟m just messing with your mind.” “Promise?” I considered the plea for a moment “Promise?” she repeated “Why you say that? What would be so wrong with twins?” “Oh, nothing.” It was her I‟m clueless and wouldn‟t understand because I‟m not-a-woman response “Cordra, don‟t this Not to yourself or to me You know better What‟s up with that?” “I can‟t say anything that doesn‟t matter? I can‟t say anything without it being important? Since when can't I that?” “There are many things you say that I ignore and make no response to However, there are some things you say that go against the grain, and violate what and who you are, that it throws up a huge red caution flag for me And since you‟re my only squeeze and my winchinchala, what‟s up?” She sighed and lay her head on my shoulder “I love when you call me that.” “Storm coming?” “No I‟ve been reading the paper, you know And some of the things are interesting, you know I like the horoscope section Like the one this morning said I should be leery and any combination of twos in my life Like twins when you mentioned it.” She released me and threw up her hands “I know And don‟t say anything I let myself get on the wrong track sometimes, like when I was jealous of Suzanne and Red Hawk and I let you have it with both barrels I okay for a while, and then I get sidetracked and need a reminder to come back to reality And you saw through this one really quickly Sorry.” I said nothing, for the moment, but considered all she said I knew the misdirected jealousy, and everything that had occurred between us, because I am aware However, at that particular moment, I had my doubts I doubted my certainty and reason for being with her I was with her by choice, by my own free will So why the uncertainty? Why resort to horoscopes for guidance? Something was out of kilter, and I couldn‟t let it rest She tried to stand, and I stopped her “This isn‟t right Having twins should please you, but it doesn‟t For us to argue so much isn‟t correct For us not to understand each other isn‟t correct For each of us to disagree with the rest of the world, that‟s fine, but we‟re one flesh and blood I‟ve tried to avoid the pitfalls of the past, and now I find I haven‟t That‟s far too disturbing.” “Get over it It‟s nothing.” She tried to free herself again “Does this have something to with my not becoming a Lakota tribe member through the induction ceremony?” The jerk was too quick and spontaneous to be discredited as she wished “No Not a damned thing.” “Cordra Bennington I don‟t believe this Don‟t you think it rather funny that on the same night, I talk with Suzanne about my feelings of becoming a Lakota or any other Indian, that you have a problem with having twins? Like if they were from a true full-blood Lakota brave, then so be it? What is going on that you want to hide?” “Oh, damn it all!” She gripped me tightly as she cried “Talk to me, honey I can take anything you can give.” “I know I never thought that you would be so like a Lakota warrior I thought that you would follow anything I wanted for you or for me or for us I let lust get in the way of what I wanted in life, and you never did True to your word and to yourself, you never let anything interfere with what you wanted or didn‟t want Kissing you and loving you and being your wife didn‟t prepare me for your huge wall of love and compassion beyond belief I‟d never experienced so great an unconditional love before I was ill-prepared to love you as I wanted to love you.” She grabbed a napkin from the holder to blow her nose “However, you also miss out on some things, some things this part of flesh and blood would like to do.” “You want to live on the reservation?” She groaned and hit my back “No, dimwit! I was glad when I finally got a job that paid well and I could leave But I was naive and I truly thought that white man only wanted me to drive his car and errands for him for $75 a day Cash I was wrong But at the end of the third day, extra duties were assigned and I booked with the money he‟d given already From there on, it was little and big steps until I showed up in Delaware for you “I didn‟t want to be there then, and I don‟t want to be there now When immigrants come to this country, they have to become citizens or go back home If they stay, no one here in America tries to change their way of thinking or how they live They congregate and create China Towns, Irish towns, whatever and no one cares It‟s fine The only people who are still bothered is the Indian nations I don‟t know why, and I wish it would stop, but there doesn‟t seem to be a possibility of that “So, I never asked you to live there I never asked for you to live the Lakota ways of the past or the present All I asked was to have your name on the register, since you are the biological father of Red Hawk and the present child or children That can help our papooses and descendants in the future I‟d never want to change you because I love that half of me so much.” “Like how?” “Like if the tribe ever gets its act together and builds the casinos that it keeps threatening, our papooses would be in the income stream Might not be much, but it would be something from belonging to the tribe And if they ever accomplish their dream of establishing a NASCAR Track, that could be a tidy sum of cash.” “But it‟s grown into a problem?” “Not unlivable I backed off when I got so much resistance and waited for time to calm you down It didn‟t happen, and I‟m happy where we are and with the family, and I forgot it I gave up on it.” “Like why burden me when I‟ve so much on my mind? You‟ve got to stop that So what if I resist at the start? State your case and push for what you want The age difference didn‟t stop your desire for babies, and it worked It didn‟t stop you from loving me or marrying me It seems to me like you could other things also.” “I know, but life got in the way, and I grew complacent, and I‟m not miserable, but it would be nice.” “And I guess we should add a traditional Lakota wedding also Right? You never mentioned it, but maybe that‟s been on your mind.” “Could be That would be nice also I feel married to you I felt that from the first time we had each other in your bed Never was a doubt in my mind, J Bennington With or without a marriage certificate, I‟d be your wife and you my husband However, sometimes the little extras would be nice You know?” “I‟m aware of it now, winchinchala And I apologize for you not stating your case so soundly before You talk to the LWC about a wedding ceremony, and I‟ll talk to the Elders about getting names on the register And in the future, don‟t hesitate to state your wants to me and ensure I listen to you, Cordra Bennington.” ### About the Author J Bennington: Fresh out of High School, I spent 21 years in the Air Force, serving in Viet Nam, Thailand, United States, and Germany After retiring from the Air Force, I drove a limousine under contract for Conrail, moving train crews from stations to trains, and anywhere needed I wrote books, longhand, while waiting in rail stations, State Prison fields at a m, and forlorn rail crossings right out of Stephen King novels with all the demons and terror Following that interesting but tiring job, I tackled a few independent businesses that failed Worked two years in a restaurant as the salad bar manager Worked year as Electric Meter Reader for the City of Dover, DE Then a friend arranged a part-time clerical position in the State Probation Office From there I applied for full- time positions and worked 20 years for the Department of Transportation, selling Hauling Permits to truckers or trucking companies, billing companies for Outdoor Advertising, and later I paid the bills to State Contractors I retired in February 2014 and now I‟m doing what I love, writing and working to publish the books collecting electronic dust over the years Other Books By This Author Please visit your favorite ebook retailer to discover other books by [J Bennington]: Other books pending publication: Virginia Rose (Coming in 2015) Idoya Valdez (Coming in 2015) Silent Train of Dreams (Coming in 2015) The Gemini Demons (Coming late in 2015) Sneak Preview: Sneak Preview: Idoya Valde z The lights went out; a gunshot shattered the silence; the taxi driver cursed and jammed the gas pedal to the floor, forcing her the rest of the way into the back seat “Evaristo!” Sun Ni Lee shouted and jerked awake from another short nap induced by fatigue, stress and the long flight She loved what happened at each end, but the flying time took a toll on her The passenger beside her grumbled, sighed from frustration and stared crossly at her Sun apologized again and the captain recommended that the passengers pay any last visits to the restroom and then buckle in for landing at JFK Airport in 45 minutes Sun did that and applied a small cover of her fuchsia lipstick She returned to her seat and longed to be on the ground where she could use her cell phone and try to contact Evaristo again Something had to be wrong, but no one would pick up the phone to give her an answer She knew so many phone calls to his house was wrong, but fear and worry overrode her obeying the rules He had been too depressed all the while she was with him this time She did not know how to contact his children, and she would die before she communicated with his wife She sat in silence; her fuchsia colored nails drumming the seat handles until the descent started From the time to returning to her seat and the time the wheels hit the ground, she had decided to accept the worst case scenario She was on her own in the world “Maybe it‟s the best for me Perhaps I need a break from Evaristo and get on with my life,” she whispered to herself Not necessarily on my own, she thought I have Jim waiting for me That’s what he does He’s always waited for me to say yes and share my life with him Maybe I’ll just give him what he wants and see what happens She took a taxi from JFK to Manhattan and tipped him nicely at Jim Bradford‟s apartment building She entered with her suitcase and smiled at the security guard who welcomed her back home, along with a compliment about her performance in Lima She sucked up the praise and entered the elevators Once inside the apartment door, she leaned against it and breathed deeply The familiar scent of his rooms filled her head and her wildly beating heart settled into a more reasonable rhythm She left her suitcase in the hallway, deposited her keys on the hall table and went straight to the bathroom She washed herself quickly and dressed only in panties, slipped beneath the sheets with Jim He rolled over to wrap her in his arms and kiss her hello “Welcome home, love Was the flight boring?” “From Peru, always You make it worthwhile though Miss me?” “That‟s a given.” He moved his arms and hands down her back “Whoa Your skin It‟s not covered Are you okay?” She giggled “Of course I‟m okay I‟ve been thinking I know you told me that‟s dangerous, but over the last trips away from you, I‟ve been thinking about us I know you love me And I‟m tired of waiting and putting you off So, while flying home, I decided to give us what we want I‟ll marry you, accept your last name Then we need to grow out of Manhattan.” “We do?” He slid his fingers around her body and down to her panties and back to outline a breast He enjoyed her warm skin like he yearned to so long “I‟ve often suggested that Where you have in mind?” His hand nudged the breast and she moved to let him caress it “I‟ve looked at a small place overlooking the ocean in the Philippines It‟s on the north side of Manila and in a good and quiet neighborhood I‟ve made some sound investments, and I can afford to buy it It‟s still on the market We can stay there and raise a family for a couple of years and then move on to anywhere During the stay in the Philippines I‟ll have a good business going, and there‟ll be no limit to what we want to What you think?” He rolled a nipple between thumb and forefinger and slid his hand upward to rest his fingers against the side of her throat He could feel her pulse throbbing in her veins “I find it hard to think clearly with a scantily clad beautiful woman in my arms I‟ve waited for this for how many years? Why did you change at this moment in time?" “What you mean by that?” Her heart raced, and he felt and heard the subtle breaks in her voice as well as the scent of nervousness and fear in her sudden change in body chemistry “I mean, why now? Why did you make this sudden decision? Yes I want it I‟ve wanted and tried to get you to go sexual for years versus living as friends What happened in Lima?” “Lima was just the turning point, honey I‟ve been thinking about this for a while It‟s just there that I decided and you know me When I decide, I also make a move to make it happen So, that‟s why I‟m here with you, with only panties in the way, and they‟re easy to remove anyway.” “You‟re lying.” He unwrapped his arms from her and turned the light on as he sat up on the bed He sighed at the wonderful sight of her body and then groaned “Man, oh man What happened in Lima to prompt this? You know what I am You k now how skilled I am at understanding who‟s lying and who‟s not I‟ve told you You‟re lying to me, Sun.” “I want to give you what you want.” She nearly sounded like she begged him “I never expected this.” “Yes, you‟d give me what I want, and maybe there would be a family, but for how long? How long before you disappeared back into this life? This is in your blood And for all I know, maybe some other men are in your blood And you‟ll be gone If you‟d done this years ago, no problem What happened in Lima?” “Nothing!” She sat up and crossed her legs on the bed and he stood to pull on his pants “Look, maybe it was just my biological clock that set off my alarm I don‟t know I was miserable the whole time I was there and couldn‟t wait to get back to you after I made my decision Can we just talk about it?” “No! Get dressed and go! I never thought it would end like this Your heart is beating like crazy Your breathing is causing your voice to break And you‟re acting like a nervous flighty teenager getting ready to lose her cherry That smacks of lying, and I won‟t start a marriage that I‟ve wanted for years with a lie! Tell me what happened in Lima to cause you to this right now? Will you? If you will, I‟ll listen and try to help you.” “This sucks!” She stormed to the bathroom and emerged shortly, dressed as when she arrived He kept his voice neutral and held out his hand “I‟d like the key, please.” “I‟ll keep it for a while Maybe you‟ll grow up and consider this some more I‟ll be in touch I‟ll let myself out and lock the door Bye.” She passed the security guard again “Leaving so soon?” “Yes Been evicted after so many years.” “You need a room? A place to stay? I have a place for you.” “No thanks, Garcia I‟ll be back once he grows up or lonely, I‟m sure Have a good weekend.” She walked outside and groaned at the sky while waiting for a taxi to stop She called her friend while she waited “Lisa, this is Sun Sorry to wake you, but Jim just evicted me, and I‟m tired and I don‟t want to deal with driving through Harlem this time of the night Can I crash with you?” “Of course you can stay with me, and you don‟t have to phone ahead Just show up You know I love you like a sister Come on Do I need to make some coffee? You sound rough Do you want to talk tonight?” “No thanks It‟s been a lousy pageant, a terrible flight and now a dreadful argument and eviction with Jim I need sleep most, and I‟ll talk you ears off when I recover from jet lag and lack of sleep.” Connect with J Bennington I really appreciate you reading my book! Here are my social media coordinates: Friend me on Facebook: JBenningtonBooks on Facebook E-Mail me at: J Bennington Books Favorite my Smashwords author page: Interview With J Bennington ### This book was distributed courtesy of: For your own Unlimited Reading and FREE eBooks today, visit: http://www.Free-eBooks.net Share this eBook with anyone and everyone automatically by selecting any of the options below: To show your appreciation to the author and help others have wonderful reading experiences and find helpful information too, we'd be very grateful if you'd kindly post your comments for this book here COPYRIGHT INFORMATION Free-eBooks.net respects the intellectual property of others When a book's copyright owner submits their work to Free-eBooks.net, they are granting us permission to distribute such material Unless otherwise stated in this book, this permission is not passed onto others As such, redistributing this book without the copyright owner's permission can constitute copyright infringement If you believe that your work has been used in a manner that constitutes copyright infringement, please follow our Notice and Procedure for Making Claims of Copyright Infringement as seen in our Terms of Service here: http://www.free-ebooks.net/tos.html [...]... nothing to do with that Is John happy?” “You could say that He‟s not thrilled that I‟m going to be close to delivery when I join you guys for helping Cordra Sorry I just love that little woman a lot I‟ll be fine.” “He can always join us, as in accompany you.” “I know That will be my alternative option when the clock gets close.” The move was made and settling- in commenced Cordra delivered her baby... name? Cordra? Is she a movie star?” “No However, she‟s a diamond compared to what you wanted me to be hooked up with.” “That's very true I don‟t know why I did that so often You were just talking and being you You were only being nice And it would drive me jealous in a heartbeat Deep inside I knew it was stupid, but for me, I could see them repaying kindness with sex, and you being willing, just to... chose to put her foot in my lap, which caused her robe to slide open and expose a lot of legs just as Cordra came to the table “Morning, Cordra, ” she said cordially “Sleep well?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” She kissed me and slid Carol‟s foot to the floor “That doesn‟t entice me, hon.” “I‟m not hon I‟m Carol You‟re Cordra. ” “Fair enough It‟s still your house, but be a good hostess and remain covered Don‟t... track you down and knock some sense into you Cordra s got a light- year head start on me as it is Just know that my love is a given It‟s always here, whether you mess up or not Dig?” “I dig, I dig,” I told her The sky opened with bounty after I filed for divorce Cordra suggested moving west to South Dakota I did some research on the Internet and found a job opening in the Department of Transportation... fully I was on the daybed with Cordra wrapped in my arms We spent the night like that, and I don‟t recall moving at all The basement door opened and I opened one eye, trying to recall who was there “Jim? Hey, are you awake?” I yawned and then remembered the night before and Carol “Jim?” “Yes I‟m awake now What?” “Are you dressed?” I moved from the bed and repositioned Cordra s head and arms, but I didn‟t... confessed Cordra, was uneventful I couldn‟t get off even though I tried hard Since then, the few times I‟ve tried dating men, I‟ve met with the same fate I just don‟t want to get intimate with them or with myself So, I‟ve chosen a life of chastity If Cordra had something to do with that, thank her for me I truly love it See ya sometime Maybe.” The comment weighed on my mind for a few weeks before Cordra. .. have sex with her again, just to save her from herself?” That question broke the trance that held me, and I replied freely and honestly, “No If she‟s happy, then let it be Maybe I‟m just a tad worried about the same magic or whatever being used on me I love you, and I hope you know that I just don‟t want to love you because you‟ve done some magic thing to make it so.” “Did you enjoy loving Carol when... her?” “Yes.” “Did you enjoy having sex with her, enjoy her sexual scent? Did the smell of her turn you on, and you couldn‟t get enough of her?” “Yes.” “Did you continue enjoying her sparse but intense bouts of sexual activity, until she stopped loving you, and her sexual activity dropped to zero?” “Yes.” “Do you miss her scent when you‟re loving me?” “No, of course not Today, just like the first time... burgers,” Cordra said “Nothing but the best in our house.” Suzanne paused a moment and looked at Cordra “Where‟s your husband?” Red Hawk giggled and Cordra smiled “Where he needs to be right now You want to meet him? Come to the cook out Good night.” With that Suzanne took her purchase and backed out the door “Very funny,” I said Red Hawk giggled louder “You funny, Dad.” “Strange woman, Suzanne,” Cordra. .. need no more conversation now, just action.” CHAPTER TWO So life went on for a while Beth showed up more often and she, and Cordra had intimate powwows where I was the excluded party I didn‟t mind I was thrilled at their compatibility The cast was off, and I was walking two miles a day when Carol called and wanted to be picked up Beth wished me good luck and disappeared Cordra was silent and moody She ... had nothing to with that Is John happy?” “You could say that He‟s not thrilled that I‟m going to be close to delivery when I join you guys for helping Cordra Sorry I just love that little woman... know that I just don‟t want to love you because you‟ve done some magic thing to make it so.” “Did you enjoy loving Carol when you knew her?” “Yes.” “Did you enjoy having sex with her, enjoy her sexual... what-not?” “No I‟m Cordra Born with the name Tiger Lily, and not knowing why, since there were none of those flowers near my birthplace Maybe it‟s my freckles No spells Just love Just a deep attraction