A translation quality assessment of the first three chapters of the novel “the da vinci code” by do thu ha (2005) based on j.house’s model

A translation quality assessment of the first three chapters of the novel ―the da vinci code‖ by do thu ha (2005) based on j.house‘s model Đặng Thị Phượng Trường Đại học Ngoại ngữ Luận văn Thạc sĩ ngành: Ngôn ngữ Anh; Mã số: 60.22.15 Người hướng dẫn: PGS. TS. Trần Xuân Điệp Năm bảo vệ: 2012 Abstract: Literary translation has been developing for a long time; however, the definition of a ―good‖ translation still remains a controversy. Different theorists construct different models to assess the quality of a translation text; therefore, there exists only ―good‖ translation according to a specific view. This qualitative study attempts to evaluate the translation quality of the first three chapters in the Vietnamese version of the novel ―The Da Vinci Code‖ translated by Do Thu Ha (2005) based on J. House‘s translation quality assessing model. Under qualitative method, the source text has been analyzed in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar (under five dimensions namely Field, Tenor, Mode, Transitivity System, and Theme) and House‘s model (under two dimensions namely Dimensions of Language Use and Dimensions of Language User). Besides, a comparison between the source and translation text has been implemented to discover the mismatches and errors (namely covert and overt erroneous errors). Thence, a statement of quality of the translation text has been presented, i.e. the translation text is of rather poor quality and fails to exactly and completely convey the interpersonal and ideational meaning of the source text (ST) according to House‘s model. Keywords: Phương pháp giảng dạy; Tiếng Anh; Dịch thuật; Bản dịch Content PART I. INTRODUCTION I. Rationale of the study There are various areas in translation among which translation quality assessment is a subject of interest. To what degree a translation text is ―good‖ all depends on a large variety of factors, one of those would be the angle from which the translation text can be looked at. Translation theorists developed their own models of translation quality assessment (TQA); however, J. House‘s is widely adduced for its applicability. J. House is a German linguist who has developed her own TQA model after criticizing previously proposed ones by other 2 linguists like Newmark‘s or Hatim & Mason‘s. This paper is conducted based on her TQA model to assess the first three chapters of the novel ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ by Đỗ Thu Hà (2005). II. Scope and objectives of the study Under the constraints of time and size, the study only focuses on the first three among 105 chapters in the book ―Mật mã Da Vinci‖ by Đỗ Thu Hà in 2005. In this study, the investigated chapters will be analyzed under the light of J. House‘s approach of TQA in order to reach the objectives of (1) discovering the features of the source text (ST) in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar and House‘s dimensions and (2) assessing the level of quality that the translation text reaches. Due to the fact that House‘s model is constituted based on pragmatic theories of language use meanwhile concerning semantic and textual aspect, the scope of this study is not limited as its title may arouse. The paper covers quite a large range of applied linguistics, for example, constrastive analysis, cross-cultural study, functional grammar, and translation. III. Research questions In order to fulfill its objectives stated above, this paper needs to answer the following research questions: 1. What are the features of the ST in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar and House‘s dimensions? 2. To what degree does the translation text (TT) meet the standard of quality as proposed in House‘s TQA model? IV. Research methodology - Qualitative method: This research is a qualitative evaluation; hence, the source of data is document, and information is gathered by an analysis of documents and materials. Data are categorized into patterns as the primary basis for organizing and reporting results. Qualitative method allows the researcher to study individual text closely. It also enables multiple analytic strategies. - Synthetic and analytic methods: The analysis of the texts is also approached from the combination of analytic and synthetic methods: analytic perspective to identify, isolate certain aspects to concentrate on, and synthetic perspective to investigate the interdependence of these constituents – how they work together as a whole. - Descriptive and comparative methods: In order to provide in-depth and detailed descriptions of translation and evaluation, the study is descriptive and comparative in nature. 3 V. Organization of the study The first part of the study is the Introduction which provides a general view of the research such as methods, objectives, and scope. In the second part – Development, the study aims to present the theoretical background of the research (Chapter I) and review the existing literature by presenting some related concepts of translation theory and typical TQA models (Chapter II). Chapter III focuses on the Methodology and Procedures of the research. Chapter IV is the Findings and Discussion which present the results of data analysis and discussions. In part 3, the conclusion of the study will be stated with three components: Recapitulation of the study, Limitation of the study, and Recommendations for further research. PART II: DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER I. THEORETICAL BACKGROUND I.1. Translation theory I.1.1. What is translation? I.1.2. Translation procedures and methods I.1.3. Translation equivalence I.2. Views and models of translation quality assessment I.2.1. Hatim & Mason’s model (1990) I.2.2. Peter Newmark’s model I.3. Development of J .House’s model CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW House‘s model, for its plausibility, can be found in a number of studies of TQA. A brief summary of such works is as follows. II.1. Application of House’s model in Vietnam. II.2. Application of House’s model in other countries. 4 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY AND PROCEDURES III.1. Subject of study As the study of the whole text is beyond the scope of this paper, the object under investigation is the first three chapters in the SL ―The Da Vinci Code‖ written by Dan Brown in 2003 and their Vietnamese version translated by Đỗ Thu Hà in 2005. III.2. Methodology The present study has a qualitative design. This study is intended to find two kinds of errors as a consequence of comparing the ST with the TT. The model to be used in this study is House‘s TQA Model. This study is mainly a library research. Under House‘s model, the analysis and comparison of the source text (ST) and translated text (TT) are conducted in two sections: Dimensions of Language User and Dimensions of Language Use. In the first part, three situational dimensions which refer to the features marking the provenance of a text producer are introduced including Geographical origin, Social class, and Time. In the second part, five situational dimensions namely Medium, Participation, Social relationship, Social attitude, and Province are applied for the analysis and comparison. Also, on each of the dimensions, the author analyzes the texts on three aspects: syntactic, lexical, and textual means. Also, under Halliday‘s functional grammar, the ST would be analyzed in terms of Field, Tenor, Mode, Transitivity system, Theme, and Mood. III.3 Data Collection Procedure The researcher first read the original text thoroughly, and then the ST is compared to its translation to find two kinds of errors, namely overtly erroneous errors and covertly erroneous errors. The House‘s model is commonly applied in TQA by doing the following chronological steps: i. Doing an analysis to get the ST profile (Analytic method) ii. Giving a statement of function to the ST related with ideational and interpersonal meaning (Synthetic method) iii. Comparing the two texts to produce a statement of ―in-equivalence‖ which is categorized into ―covertly erroneous errors‖ and ―overtly erroneous errors‖ (Comparative method). iv. Providing a statement of quality with reference to the translation result (Descriptive method). 5 III.4. Data Analysis Procedure The mismatches and errors have been identified based on a comparison between the ST and TT. Covertly erroneous errors are differentiated from overtly erroneous errors in that the latter results either from a mismatch of the denotative meanings of ST and TT elements or from a breach of the target language system. Findings and Discussion: This subsection is aimed at presenting the results of the application/implementation of the above-mentioned step and providing a statement of quality of the TT. CHAPTER IV: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION IV.1. ST and TT comparison Mismatches on the following dimensions could be observed as a result of a comparison between the ST and TT on the basis of situational dimensions suggested in House‘s model. 6 IV.1.1. Covertly erroneous errors A. Medium: Syntactic means TT uses some contact which does not appear in the ST and changes in type of phrases such as: ST TT 1. Langdon picked up the receiver. ―Hello?‖ (p.7) Langdon nhấc ống nghe trả lời: ―Xin chào?‖ (p.7) 2. Squinting at his surroundings he saw a plush Renaissance bedroom with Louis XVI furniture… (p.7) Liếc nhìn xung quanh ông nhận thấy đó là một phòng ngủ kiểu Phục Hưng bằng vải lông với nội thất thời Lui XVI… (p.7) 3. According to lore, the brotherhood had created a map of stone—a clef de voûte or keystone—an engraved tablet that revealed the final resting place of the brotherhood's greatest secret… (p.15) Theo sách vở, tổ chức đó đã tạp ra môt tấm bản đồ bằng đá – một viên đá đỉnh vòm – và khắc vào đó bảng chỉ dẫn tới vị trí cuối cùng của bí mật lớn nhất của tổ chức… (p.14) In the first example, the verb ―trả lời‖ is added to the end of the first sentence to connect the two sentences. In the second and third example, the noun phrases ―a plush Renaissance bedroom‖ and ―an engraved tablet‖ are transformed into a subordinate clause ―đó là một phòng ngủ‖ and a verb phrase ―khắc vào đó‖. This kind of change in TT, to some extent, supports the translator‘s aim in explaining and clarifying the situation which is considered not necessary in the ST as well as making the text more familiar to Vietnamese readers. B. Social role relationship Regarding the lexical mismatch, the TT differs from the ST in terms of use of pronouns as stated below: ST TT 1. ―I assume,‖ Langdon said, ―That the American University of Paris told you where I was staying?‖ (p.19) ―Tôi đoán,‖ Langdon nói, ―rằng Trường Đại Học Mỹ ở Pari đã nói cho ông biết tôi đang ở đâu?‖ (p.18) The pronoun ―you‖ in the first extract should be translated into ―các ông‖ (plural) instead of ―ông‖ (singular) because in this circumstance, by ―you‖, the speaker means the policemen who requested his presence, not the listener. C. Social attitude 7 The consultative style level of the ST is violated when the translator adds more abundant words to the TT in order to make the text more intimate. This may be caused by the translator‘s attempt to create a more natural narrative and to bring the text closer to the Vietnamese writing style. The examples are listed below: ST TT 1. ―Outside the car, the pale wash of halogen headlights skimmed over the crushed gravel parkway…‖ (p.20) Bên ngoài chiếc xe, ánh sáng nhạt của những ngọn đèn pha cháy bằng khí halogien hắt xuống con đường rải sỏi nghiền nhỏ. (p.19) 2. ―Mr. Langdon,‖ Fache's ebony eyes locked on his. "What you see in the photo is only the beginning of what Sauniere did. (p.25) ―Ông Langdon,‖ đôi mắt đen như gỗ mun của Fache lóe lên, ông ta ngắt lời Langdon, ―Những gì ông thấy chỉ là khởi đầu của những việc ông Sauniere đã làm.‖ (p.23) However, in several cases, the TT leaves out certain parts in the ST, hence making the meaning of the TT less clear than that of the ST and breaching the consultative and casual style level of the ST. For example: ST TT Suggested alternative 1. ―The room was spartan – hardwood floors, a pine dresser, a canvas mat in the corner that served as his bed…‖ (p.14) ―Căn phòng rất đơn giản – sàn gỗ cứng, một cái tủ bằng gỗ thông, một cái chiếu bằng vải bạt…‖ (p.13) Căn phòng rất đơn sơ – sàn gỗ cứng, một cái tủ bằng gỗ thông, một cái chiếu bằng vải bạt ở góc nhà để làm giường… 2. ―…a pair of late night lovers cuddling to stay warm…‖ (p.18) ―…một đôi tình nhân ôm chặt nhau để giữ ấm…‖ (p.17) …một đôi tình nhân đi chơi về muộn ôm chặt nhau để giữ ấm… D. Province In terms of syntactic means, past simple tense is mainly used in the ST, which is proper to a narrative fiction. However, due to specific characteristics of Vietnamese language, the tense markers is not manifested in the TT apart from several sentences in which past simple tense is expressed with the word ―đã‖ such as: + ―Các cuốn sách của ông về các bức vẽ tôn giáo và biểu tượng thờ cúng đã làm ông nổi danh một cách bất đắc dĩ trong giới nghệ thuật…‖ (p.8) + ―Ông và người quản lý đáng kính Jacques Sauniere đã sắp xếp để gặp nhau uống vài cốc bia sau buổi thuyết giảng tối nay của Langdon, nhưng ông Sauniere đã không đến. (p.11) 8 + ―Mỗi người đều nói cho Silas một điều giống nhau – rằng viên đá đỉnh vòm đã được giấu khéo léo tại một vị trí ở Pari…‖ (p.14) + ―Sự tha thứ đã được đảm bảo.‖ (p.15) + ―Tôi đoán,‖ Langdon nói, ―rằng trường Đại học Mỹ ở Pari đã nói cho ông biết tôi đang ở đâu?‖ (p.18) Moreover, in terms of lexical means, the use of lexical items marked [+human] in the ST is not maintained in the TT, which affects the Province of the TT. Below is an example to illustrate the point: ST TT Suggested Alternative ―Sitting up now, Langdon frowned at his bedside Guest Relations Handbook, whose cover boasted: SLEEP LIKE A BABY IN THE CITY OF LIGHTS, SLUMBER AT THE PARIS RITZ.‖ (p.8) Khi đã ngồi dậy, Langdon cau mày nhìn cuốn sổ tay liên hệ với khách hàng được ghi những lời hoa mỹ: Hãy ngủ như một đứa trẻ ở Kinh đô ánh sánh. Hãy thiếp ngủ ở khách sạn Ritz Pari.‖ (p.8) Khi đã ngồi dậy, Langdon cau mày trước Cuốn sách hướng dẫn cho Khách với trang bìa khoe khoang: HÃY NGỦ NHƯ MỘT ĐỨA TRẺ Ở KINH ĐÔ ÁNH SÁNG, HÃY NGỦ SAY Ở KHÁCH SẠN RITZ PARIS. IV.1.2. Overtly erroneous errors Apart from the mismatches from the ST as discussed above, the TT also presents other breaches which should be taken into consideration. Firstly, in terms of breaches of the target language system, the TT shows several cases of ungrammaticality as can be seen as follows: ST TT Analysis of mistake Suggested alternative 1. ―The frightening image of the curator's body remained locked in his mind.‖ (p.17) Những hình ảnh đáng sợ về thi thể của người quản lý bảo tàng vẫn bám chặt trong tâm trí ông.‖ (p.17) Number of noun Hình ảnh 2. ―‗This symbol here, and the way his body is so oddly ‘ ‘Positioned?’ the agent ―‗Biểu tượng ở đây và cách đặt thi thể ông ấy thật kỳ lạ…‘ ‗Vị trí?‘ Viên cảnh sát Translation of passive voice ―…và sự kỳ lạ trong cái cách mà cơ thể ông ấy…‖ ―Được sắp xếp phải 9 offered.‖ (p.13) hỏi.‖ (p.12) không?‖ Moreover, several cases of dubious acceptability such as literal translation or wrong translation could be observed throughout the TT as follows. ST TT Analysis of mistake Suggested alternative 1. ―Langdon had little doubt.‖ (p.8) ―Langdon hơi nghi ngờ.‖ (p.8) Wrong translation of ―little‖ Langdon không mấy nghi ngờ. 2. ―If you would be so kind‖ (p.8) ―Nếu ông đã có lòng tốt như thế‖ (p.8) Wrong translation of ―so‖ Nếu ông vui lòng Secondly, in terms of mistakes in the denotative meanings of ST and TT, the following mismatches could be recognized in the text under the category of wrong selections: ST TT Analysis of mistake Suggested alternative 1.―The man's English was accented – a sharp, authoritative bark.‖ (p.11) ―Tiếng Anh của người nói được kéo dài – một giọng đầy uy quyền và nhọn sắc.‖ (p.11) Wrong translation of ―bark‖ Tiếng Anh của người đàn ông có ngữ điệu đặc biệt – một tiếng quát sắc nhọn và đầy uy quyền. 2. ―Thirty seconds later, the crowd was grinning,…‖ (p.10) ―Ba mươi phút sau, đám đông vẫn cười phá lên…‖ (p.9) Wrong translation of ―seconds‖ and ―grin‖ Ba mươi giây sau, đám đông cười rần rần. IV.2. Discussion: statement of quality From the findings above, it can be summed up that in the light of House‘s dimensions, ST and TT have been compared particularly in terms of Medium, Social role relationship, Social attitude, and Province to discover the mismatches. From all the breaches of equivalence made visible by the application of House‘s model, the following problems related to covertly and overtly erroneous errors have been recognized. First, regarding the covertly erroneous errors, there are mismatches on the dimensions below. 10 On the dimension Medium, the mismatch derives from the addition of contact which does not appear in the ST and changes in type of phrases, serving the translator‘s purpose of making the text more familiar to Vietnamese context. On the medium Social role relationship, the lexical mismatch in terms of use of pronouns could be seen. Especially, the pronoun ―she‖ and ―her‖ used to refer to a specific and beloved thing (the Eiffel tower in this case) was mistranslated into ―trên ấy, cái tháp, trên đó‖; hence, the subtle meaning of the pronouns is lost in the TT. On the dimension Social attitude, the consultative style level of the ST was infringed more abundant words are added to the TT in order to make the text more intimate. Moreover, in several cases, the TT skips details of the ST, resulting in a loss in meaning of the ST. Although the difference in style between the ST and TT is of little significance and does unremarkable negative effects on the ST‘s pragmatic meaning, it detracts from the interpersonal functional component of the text‘s function. On the dimension Province, the fact that the TT hardly uses past simple tense – a typical feature of narrative fiction and bypasses the use of lexical items marked [+human] in the ST with a view to create a fictional style partly affect the interpersonal functional components. Second, with respect to the overtly erroneous errors, the breaches discovered also detract from the interpersonal functional component. The TT shows several cases of ungrammaticality, dubious acceptability such as literal translation or wrong translation, and translating mistakes in the denotative meanings of the ST. However, under the light of the concept ―cultural filter‖ – a means of capturing socio-cultural differences in expectation norms and stylistic conventions between source and target linguistic-cultural communities (J. House, 2001), the TT, generally, has not totally conveyed both ideational and interpersonal features of the ST. Despite the mismatches presented above, the TT shows some good translated sections that can convey both interpersonal and ideational features of the ST as follows: ST TT 1. ―Pulling his shades, he stripped naked and knelt in the center of his room. Looking down, he examined the spiked cilice belt clamped around his thigh. All true followers of The Way wore this device—a leather strap, ―Kéo rèm che, hắn cởi trần ra và quỳ xuống giữa phòng. Nhìn xuống, hắn kiểm tra chiếc dây thắt bằng sợi lông đuôi ngựa được đóng đinh và buộc chặt quanh bắp đùi. Tất cả những môn đồ chân chính của Con Đường [...]... first three chapters of the novel ―Mật mã Da Vinci by Đỗ Thu Hà (2005) based on House‘s TQA model In terms of text, the paper has only investigated a small proportion of the whole TT (thee over 105 chapters) In addition, due to typical characteristics of Halliday‘s systemic-functional grammar, not all the features of the ST have been reviewed Moreover, because the data is limited to only three chapters, ... mistakes in the denotative meanings of ST) It is stated that the TT has failed to meet the assessor‘s expectations and to totally convey the interpersonal and ideational features of the ST II Limitations of the study In spite of all that, there are several limitations of the study As stated in the introductory section, the study has been confined only to the translation quality assessment of the first. .. effects and impressions on readers made by the ST 11 PART III: CONCLUSION I Recapitulation of main ideas The controversy over the quality of a translation text has led to the increasing demand for literary translation quality assessment Correspondingly, this paper is conducted to investigate the quality of the first three chapters in the TT based on J House‘s TQA model Firstly, a succinct summary of different... Dissertation Florianópolis: UFSC 2 Baker, M (1992) In Other Words: a Coursebook on Translation London: Routledge 3 Catford (1964) A Linguistic Theory of Translation Oxford: OUP 4 Duff, A (1989) Translation Oxford: OUP 5 Hatim, B & Mason, I (1990) Discourse and the Translator London: Longman 6 Hoang, V.V (2006) Translation: theory and practice Educational Publisher 7 House, J (1997) Translation Quality Assessment: ... better and more equivalent translation to the readers Another study could be done by applying other TQA models such as Hatim & Mason‘s or Peter Newmark‘s to evaluate the quality of the TT That study would be worth doing to provide a quality assessment report of the TT according to different perspectives References 1 Almeida, L & Nascimento, S (1996) Assessment of the Quality of Contract Translation 1996... three chapters of the novel The Da Vinci Code‖ reveals significant and serious mismatches from the ST Apart from a few good translated passages, the rest of the TT contains various translation mistakes which seem to be a result of careless translation with little edition There are breaches in all twenty three pages of the TT; thus, the TT appears to be of of low performance and to some extent reduces the. .. model to evaluate the quality assessment of different kinds of materials and texts The method employed to carry out this research is qualitative The ST has been analyzed in the light of Halliday‘s systemic-functional grammar and House‘s model The part Findings and Discussion has answered the two questions proposed at the beginning of the study First, a concise overview of the original text has been presented,... chapters, the low performance of the TT may not stand for the quality of the whole book In addition, the TT has only been looked at under J.House‘s TQA model whereas there are other models proposed by different theorists Thus, as fully done as the title of the research may suggest, the study has not been exhaustive 12 III Recommendation for further research Due to the limitations stated earlier, several follow-up... T & Yan, W (2011) Application of House's Translation Quality Assessment Model in C-E Translation - A Case Study of The Sight of Father's Back‟ by Zhu Ziqing Journal of Hefei University of Technology (Social Sciences): 2011-06 12 Le, M H (2010) A translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese version of part 7 “Nightmare” in the novel “Twilight” using House‟s model MA thesis ULIS, VNU 13 Luong, T.L... "The Sound and the Fury" and its Persian Translation by Saleh Hosseini (Paperback) Saarbrücken, Germany: VDM Verlag Dr Müller 16 Newmark, P (1981) Approaches to translation Oxford: Pergamon 17 Newmark, P (1988) A textbook of translation Hertfordshire: Centre for Translation & Language Studies, University of Surrey 18 Nguyen, T.Y (2007) Evaluating the translation of the travel guidebook “Du lich Ha . A translation quality assessment of the first three chapters of the novel the da vinci code‖ by do thu ha (2005) based on j. house‘s model Đặng Thị Phượng Trường. to a specific view. This qualitative study attempts to evaluate the translation quality of the first three chapters in the Vietnamese version of the novel The Da Vinci Code‖ translated by Do. 1. What are the features of the ST in the light of Halliday‘s functional grammar and House‘s dimensions? 2. To what degree does the translation text (TT) meet the standard of quality as proposed