H Sentence A. You can’t go more west. The direction is absolute. I Sentence B. Because unique is an absolute term, most unique is illogical. Unusual, on the other hand, isn’t absolute, so most may be attached. J neither. The shape is either circular or not. The reasonably in sentence A is a no-no, as is the very in sentence B. K Sentences A and B. I tried to trick you here by sneaking in a non-absolute, elderly. You can be very, extremely, really, and not-so elderly, depending upon your birth certificate and your degree of truthfulness. L Sentence B. Right is an absolute, so you’re either right or wrong, not very right or wronger. You can, however, be just right, implying that you have reached the absolute state. M Sentences A and B. Perfect is an absolute, but almost expresses an approach to the absolute (legal) and surprisingly deals with the opinion of the speaker, not with a degree of perfection (also legal). N neither. Mistaken is an absolute, so more and very are wrong. (Not wronger, or very wrong, because wrong is also an absolute.) O Sentences A and B. If the button is uniquely suited, nothing else in the universe is suited in the same way. No problem. Uncommonly means that more than one item may be suited, but this button fits to a rare degree. Also no problem. 14 24 34 7 4 0 5 9 4 84 64 54 4 4 Vote for Sally! She will be the most unique a unique president our grade has ever had! Here is Sally’s campaign platform: ¸ Our cafeteria is dirtier than dirtiest compared to the cafeterias of William Reed School, Mercer Prep, and Riverton. ¸ Sally is gooder better at organizing school events than her opponent. ¸ Sally will collect dues most more efficiently than Seymour. ¸ Seymour is very wrong when he says that Sally spends dues money on herself. ¸ The principal likes Sally’s ideas because compared to Seymour’s, hers are best better. ¸ Seymour is most more frequently absent, and the class should choose the candidate who will attend all school events. ¸ Sally’s plan for the school field will make it more nearly square and add really unique bleachers. ¸ Seymour’s face is unattractiver more unattractive than Sally’s, and you’ll have to look at him all day if he is president. 213 Chapter 16: For Better or Worse: Forming Comparisons 23_599321 ch16.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 213 P Unique is an absolute and can’t be compared. Q In comparing more than two elements, use the superlative (dirtiest). R Better is an irregular comparison. Gooder isn’t a word in standard English. S In comparing two items (the way Sally gets the money from her classmates and the way Seymour does), go for comparative, not superlative form. T Wrong is an absolute and may not be compared. U The comparative form (better) works for a two-element comparison. V The implied comparison here is between two attendance records, so comparative form is what you want. W Square is an absolute and may not be compared. You may, however, state how close to the absolute a particular form is. X The absolute term unique may not be compared. Y A three-syllable word becomes comparative or superlative with the addition of more/less or most/least. 214 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons 23_599321 ch16.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 214 Chapter 17 Apples and Oranges: Improper Comparisons In This Chapter ᮣ Avoiding incomplete or illogical comparisons ᮣ Handling double comparisons Y ou can’t compare apples and oranges, according to the old saying, but that error is only one of many common comparison mistakes. Sitting in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium, I once heard a fan compare the Yankee shortstop, Derek Jeter, to “the Yankee play- ers.” The imaginary umpire I conjured up, the one who knows the rules of grammar as thor- oughly as the rules of baseball, immediately screamed, “Foul! You should have compared Jeter to ‘the other Yankee players.’” (The real me kept her mouth shut. My reputation for nerdiness is bad enough as it is.) Chapter 16 explains one- or two-word comparisons; this chapter takes you through more complicated situations, including illogical comparisons like the Jeter comment and incom- plete comparisons. You can also practice double comparisons, a sentence construction for people who like to hedge their bets. As they say in Yankee Stadium, play ball! No One Likes to Feel Incomplete, and Neither Do Comparisons By definition, a comparison discusses two elements in relation to each other or singles out the extreme in a group and explains exactly what form the extremism takes. For example, She throws more pies than I do or Of all the clowns, she throws the most pies. A comparison may also examine something in relation to a standard, as in Her comment was so sugary that I had to take an extra shot of diabetes medication. A comparison may be any of these things, but what it may not be is partially absent. If some- one says, “The snapper is not as fresh” or “The sea bass is most musical,” you’re at sea. As fresh as what? Most musical in comparison to whom? You have no way of knowing. Of course, in context these sentences may be perfectly all right: I considered the snapper but in the end went with the flounder. The snapper is not as fresh. 24_599321 ch17.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 215 In the preceding example, the reader understands that the second sentence is a con- tinuation of the first. Also, some words in a comparison may be implied, without loss of meaning. Take a look at this sentence: The snapper makes fewer snotty comments than a large-mouth bass does. The italicized word in the preceding sentence may be left out — and frequently is — without confusing the reader. And that’s the key: The reader must have enough infor- mation to understand the comparison. So may also mean therefore, in which case it doesn’t pair with that. In informal speech, so may also be the equivalent of very, as in I was so tired. In formal English, however, so should be paired with that when it creates a comparison. Read the following sentence; see whether you can catch an incomplete comparison. If the sentence is correct, write “correct” in the blank. If not, rewrite the sentence to complete the comparison. You may come up with thousands of possible answers, a further illustration of why incomplete comparisons make for poor communication. I give two suggested answers for the example, but only one suggested answer for the exercises that follow, because I can’t cover everything. Check your answer by deter- mining whether your comparison is clear and complete. Q. “There are more fish in the sea,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ A. “There are more fish in the sea than you know,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse. Or, “There are more fish in the sea than on a restaurant menu,” commented the grouper as she searched for her posse. The key here is to define the term more. More than what? If you answer that question, you’re fine. 1. The trout, who is wealthier, spends a lot of money on rap CDs. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 2. The octopus has almost as much money but prefers to keep the trout at arm’s length. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 3. Mermaids are the most adept at financial planning, in my experience. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 4. On the other hand, mermaids are less competent at purchasing shoes. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 216 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons 24_599321 ch17.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 216 5. Not many people realize that mermaid tail fins are so sensitive. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Whales are as fashion-challenged at shoe and accessory selection. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 7. This whole under-the-sea theme has become more boring. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 8. The marine jokes are so uninteresting. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 9. I will work harder at formulating new ideas. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 10. You can always boycott this chapter if you find the comedy less than satisfying. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ Being Smarter Than Yourself: Illogical Comparisons If I say that my favorite Yankee, Derek Jeter, is cuter than the Yankee players or better at turning double plays than the Yankees, I’m making an error that’s a lot worse than Derek’s occasional wild throw into the stands. Why? Because Derek is one of the play- ers on the Yankees. According to the logic of those statements, Derek would have to be cuter or better than himself. The solution is simple. Insert other or else or a similar expression into the sentence. Then Derek becomes cuter than anyone else on the team or better at turning double plays than the other Yankees. Don’t insert other or else if the comparison is between someone in the group and someone outside the group. I can correctly say that Derek is cuter than the Red Sox players because Derek isn’t a Red Sox player and he is cute. Another form of illogic that pops up in comparisons is overkill: the use of both -er and more or less or -est and most or least. You can be either sillier or more silly, but not more sillier. 217 Chapter 17: Apples and Oranges: Improper Comparisons 24_599321 ch17.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 217 Time for some comparison shopping. Check out the following sentences. If the comparison is logical, write “correct” in the blank. If the comparison is faulty, rewrite the sentence in the space provided. Because some sentences may be corrected in more than one way, your answer may differ from mine. Just be sure that your answers are logical. Q. The average pigeon is smarter than any animal in New York City. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ A. The average pigeon is smarter than any other animal in New York City. Pigeons are animals, and pigeons flap all over New York. (I’ve even seen them on subway cars, where they wait politely for the next stop before waddling onto the platform.) Without the word other, pigeons are smarter than themselves. Penalty box! The insertion of other repairs the logic. 11. Despite the fact that they don’t use Metrocards, subway pigeons are no worse than any rider. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 12. Spotting a pigeon waiting for the subway door to open is no odder than anything you see on an average day in New York. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 13. On a midtown corner I once saw a woman shampooing her hair in the rain, an experience that was more weirder than anything else I’ve seen in my life. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 14. Singing a shower song with a thick New York accent, she appeared saner than city residents. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 15. A tourist gawking through the window of a sightseeing bus was more surprised than New Yorkers on the street. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 16. Is this story less believable than what you read in this book? ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 218 Part IV: All You Need to Know about Descriptions and Comparisons 24_599321 ch17.qxp 4/3/06 11:30 PM Page 218 . cute. Another form of illogic that pops up in comparisons is overkill: the use of both -er and more or less or -est and most or least. You can be either sillier or more silly, but not more sillier. 2 17 Chapter. classmates and the way Seymour does), go for comparative, not superlative form. T Wrong is an absolute and may not be compared. U The comparative form (better) works for a two-element comparison. V The. 214 Chapter 17 Apples and Oranges: Improper Comparisons In This Chapter ᮣ Avoiding incomplete or illogical comparisons ᮣ Handling double comparisons Y ou can’t compare apples and oranges, according