Sorry to Bust Your Bubble, but Some Common Expressions Are Wrong English should of been easier, I cannot help but think. Being that English is difficult to learn, I’m going to try and spend more time studying it. Irregardless, I’ll still have time to fold origami, a hobby which I can’t hardly resist because it does not have no stress attached to it. By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that the italicized words in the preceding paragraph are all problematic. In proper English, they don’t exist. If you’re using any made-up expres- sions, it’s time to remove them from your speech and writing and substitute the correct words, which you can see in Table 20-1. Table 20-1 Correcting Made-Up Words Wrong Right Should of Should have, should’ve Would of Would have, would’ve Could of Could have, could’ve Cannot help but Cannot help [insert the -ing form of the verb]: Cannot help wondering, for example Being that Because Try and Try to Irregardless Regardless Can’t hardly Can hardly Here’s your challenge: Rewrite the following sentences, substituting proper English for any nonstandard terms. I throw a few correct sentences into the mix, so when you find one, simply write “correct” in the blank. Q. I can’t help but think that your questions about the final exam are extremely annoying. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ A. I can’t help thinking that your questions about the final exam are extremely annoying. The expressions can’t help but and cannot help but are double negatives. English, not always the most logical language in the universe, is logical in this instance: The two negatives (not and but) cancel each other and express a positive meaning. Thus the original sentence means that you can stop thinking this way if you want to do so. 25. Irregardless of the teacher’s views on technology in the classroom, Mark sends an instant message to his brother. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 258 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 258 26. Kevin doesn’t answer immediately, being that he’s in the middle of the sandbox. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 27. “I’ll try and answer Mark after snack,” he thinks. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 28. The teacher doesn’t want no distraction from the peanut butter cookies she has prepared, so she confiscates Kevin’s PDA, which sends and receives e-mail, keeps track of Kevin’s play dates, and handles instant messages. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 29. Kevin should of hidden his PDA until nap time. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 30. Mark can’t hardly believe some of the stories Kevin tells about kindergarten. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 31. Mark remembers his own days in finger-paint land, which he should of treasured. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 32. Because the third grade room is near the kindergarten, Mark could of walked out of the classroom and spoken directly to Kevin. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 33. Kevin can’t help thinking about his PDA, which now resides on the teacher’s desk. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 34. Being that the day is almost over, Kevin asks the teacher to return his PDA. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 259 Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 259 35. “Being in kindergarten is really annoying sometimes,” Kevin thinks. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 36. “I can’t hardly wait until I’m in first grade,” he remarks. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ Verbs That Will Give You a Headache Sit (not set) yourself down for some practice with four headache-inducing verbs. Afterward you can lie (not lay) down for a rest. To lie is “to rest or recline the body.” (Yes, it also means that you aren’t telling the truth, but that definition isn’t a problem.) The past tense of lie is lay. The form of the verb lie that combines with has, have, or had is lain. To lay is “to place something” or “to put.” The past tense of lay is laid. For lay, the form that combines with has, have, or had is laid. To sit is “to bend your knees and put your bottom on some sort of surface.” The past tense and the combo form are both sat. To set is “to place, to put something somewhere.” The past tense and combo forms are also set. To tell the difference between these two pairs of verbs, think of lie and sit as actions that a person does to himself or herself: I lie down, I sit in the chair. Lay and set, on the other hand, are actions that a person does to something else: I lay the check on the desk, I set the vase down on the piano. Don’t set down your pen until you try the following questions. Circle the correct form of the verb in the parentheses. Q. Yesterday Alice was so tired that she (lie/lay/lied/laid, lain) down for a nap even though her favorite soap was on television. A. lay. The meaning in this sentence is “to rest or to recline,” so the verb you want is to lie, and the past tense of to lie is lay. 37. In the soap, the main character (lies/lays) in bed, comatose. 38. In the world of soaps, the rule is that the doctor must (sit/set) by the bed every day with a look of concern and love on his or her face. 39. In yesterday’s episode, the doctor (sit/sat/set) a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand. 40. When the nurse told the doctor to go home and (lie/lay) down, the doctor replied that she would “(sit/set) down for a while.” 260 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 260 41. Last week the doctor (lay/laid) a wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldier. 42. The viewers think the wreath that (lies/lays) there is a sign that the soldier is really the doctor’s long lost lover. 43. During sweeps week, the long lost lover will show up and (sit/set) next to the doctor in the cafeteria. 44. The final show will reveal that the long lost lover has (lain/laid) in a bed, comatose too. 45. While the doctor (sits/sets) there gobbling tuna salad, the lover will explain what hap- pened to the evil twin and other soap mysteries. Combining Rightfully Independent Words A few pairs are often written — erroneously — as a single word: a lot (never alot) and all right (never alright). A couple of other pairs have both a single- and a double-word form, and confusing these pairs changes the meaning of your sentence: ߜ Already (by this time) and all ready (completely prepared) ߜ Everyday (ordinary) and every day (daily) ߜ Sometime (at an unspecified moment) and some time (a period of time) Can you find the correct form in the following pairs? Circle your choices. Q. Because Jennifer sneezes (alot/a lot), Abigail has (already/all ready) packed a dozen handkerchiefs. A. a lot, already. The single-word form alot is never correct. In the second parentheses, the meaning you want is “by this time,” so already is the one. 46. The sneezing will end (sometime/some time). 47. Jennifer has devoted (sometime/some time) to the study of the nose and its explosions. 48. She has discovered that most people sneeze at least once (everyday/every day). 49. Jennifer herself sneezes at least ten times a day, so she buys (alot/a lot) of tissues. 50. When Abigail arrived to take Jennifer to the airport, Jennifer was (already/all ready). 51. Jennifer carried her (everyday/every day) handkerchief, a blue cotton square. 52. Abigail packed a fresh outfit for (everyday/every day) of the trip. 53. “Come on (already/all ready)!” sighed Abigail with impatience. 54. “It will take us (sometime/some time) to get to the airport and through security,” she added. 55. “(Alright!/All right!) I’m coming,” yelled Jennifer. 261 Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 261 Calling All Overachievers: Extra Practice with Tricky Words In Figure 20-1 check out an obituary that (never, I assure you) appeared in a local paper. Whenever you encounter a misused word, correct the clunker. You should find ten mistakes. Lloyd Demos Dies at 81: Specialized in Ancient Egypt Lloyd Demos died yesterday as he was pursuing farther study in ancient Egyptian culture. Demos, who effected the lives of many residents of our town, had alot of varied interests. By the time he died he had all ready learned 12 languages, including ancient Egyptian, and spent some time everyday studying Egyptian grammar so that his writing would be alright. Demos had just set down to supper when the Grim Reaper appeared at his door. Irregardless, Demos insisted on finishing his mashed potatoes, though he was heard to say, “I would like to lay down for a while.” Demos, who wrote over 50 books, will be fondly remembered. Figure 20-1: Mock obituary filled with errors. 262 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 262 Answers to Tricky Word Problems a further. In this sentence you want a word that indicates a greater degree, so further fills the bill. b such as. The word must introduce a list of examples, so such as is the best choice. If you introduce examples with like, you exclude those examples. In the preceding answer, like means that the speaker in the sentence did not provide a photo of his car, a statement from his girlfriend, or an attendance award. Instead he provided items that were similar to those on this list. c implied. The speaker in this sentence is hinting that his finances are in bad shape, and to imply is “to hint.” d As. In front of a subject/verb combo, as is the only appropriate choice. e further. The verb go makes you think of distance (and farther is the word you want for dis- tance), but testimony is not a road that can be measured. Instead, the judge is referring to time, and further does the job. f Like. The speaker resembles a statue, and like expresses similarity. Because no verb follows, like is better than as. g inferred. Picking up on subtle hints, the judge inferred that the speaker was annoyed with the speeding ticket. h effect. The sentence calls for a noun meaning result. Bingo: effect wins. i affected. Here you’re looking for a verb that’s the same as influence. Affect is that verb. j such as. The tickets are presented as an example of budget-wreckers, and such as introduces examples. k further. Once you’re talking about time, farther isn’t an option, because farther refers to dis- tance. l affects, infer. Substitute the verb influences and the sentence makes sense. Affect is a verb meaning “influence.” In the second part of the sentence, the date will “figure out,” or infer the poverty. m more than. Memos, a plural, calls for more than. n among, much. Because more than two employees are talking, among is the one you want. Between works for couples, not mobs. In the second parentheses, much is the choice because difference is singular. o less. The word paper is singular, so less is appropriate. p many, amount. Many works for plurals, and memos is a plural word. In the second paren- theses, the singular paper is the issue. Number works with plurals, but amount is for singular expressions. q more than. When you’re talking about sheets, you’re in plural land. Use more than. 263 Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 263 . doctor replied that she would “(sit/set) down for a while.” 260 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/ 06 11:28 PM Page 260 41. Last week the doctor (lay/laid) a wreath on the tomb. “(Alright!/All right!) I’m coming,” yelled Jennifer. 261 Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/ 06 11:28 PM Page 261 Calling All Overachievers: Extra Practice with. remembered. Figure 20-1: Mock obituary filled with errors. 262 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/ 06 11:28 PM Page 262 Answers to Tricky Word Problems a further. In this sentence