Forming comparisions 5 pdf

D Susannah’s new idea for racing strategy was to cut away quickly from the crowd. You may cut new and leave innovative, but don’t use both. Also, you may drop to cut away quickly from the crowd and leave separate herself. If that’s your option, you may want to move quickly to the end of the sentence, just to retain the idea of speed. E Susannah has a great chance of winning. Why say I believe or in my view? If you’re saying that Susannah has a chance, the listener or reader knows that’s what you think. Winning and finish- ing in first place are the same; choose either one. F The spikes that she installed on her tire rims should easily cut her opponents’ tires. More doubles: installed and put in match, as do easily and without much effort. Choose one of each, but not both. G Bethany thinks that Susannah scattered tacks over the left side of the course, where her chief rival rides. I imagine that a hardware specialist could explain the difference between tacks and little nails, but to the general reader, the distinction is irrelevant. Ditto for chief and most important. H Susannah and Bethany have different ideas about what is fair in a motorcycle race. The whole first part of the sentence is unnecessary. Of course differing points of view exist, and as the sentence goes on to specify, the general statement is a waste of words. Also, if the bikers can’t agree on what’s fair, by definition they also don’t agree on what’s unfair, so that part of the statement may also be cut. I A little tack can alter the outcome of the race in an important way. If you prefer, drop impor- tant and keep significant. Just don’t use the two together. J Susannah says that in the future she will win legally or not at all. Is there a future in the past? Or somewhere else in time? Once you say future, you don’t have to add days to come. (If you’d rather keep days to come, go for it and drop future.) K Three sentences — Darla was lying on the floor in a heap, Her legs were bent under her, and She breathed in quick pants — may be easily combined. The ideas in the first two sentences are turned into introductory elements, with the last of the three sentences as the main idea. If you add an introductory element with a verb form, be sure that the subject of the main section of the sentence is the person or thing doing the action or in the state of being mentioned in the introduction. Another possible combination: After Darla fainted, she was lying on the floor in a heap. With her legs under her, she breathed in quick pants. Darla fainted. Lying on the floor in a heap, her legs bent under her, she breathed in quick pants at a rapid rate. Henry came r Running as fast as he could came Henry. Nearing Darla, he gasped, “My angel.” His heart was beating so fast that his cardiologist would worry. Henry did not care. Henry cared only about Darla, the love of his life, now unconscious. Kneeling next to her he said, “Angel Pie, you don’t have to pawn your engagement ring.” 40 41 39 36 37 38 42 253 Chapter 19: Spicing Up and Trimming Down Your Sentences 27_599321 ch19.qxp 4/3/06 11:29 PM Page 253 L The revision cuts repetition; rapid and quick are the same. M The sentence Henry came running as fast as he could has been reversed to create an interesting variation on the standard sentence pattern. N Two sentences — He neared Darla and gasped. “My angel,” he said. — have been combined. The new version, with an introductory element (Nearing Darla), is more concise. O A subordinate (that his cardiologist would worry) tucks an idea from one sentence into another. Another possibility: He neared Darla and gasped, “My angel.” P The original story ends with several short, choppy sentences. The revision combines all but the last sentence. Q The last two sentences of the original combine with an introductory verb form, kneeling. If you begin with kneeling, be sure that he or Henry is the subject of the main part of the sentence. You can also revise this section in this way: “Angel Pie, you don’t have to pawn your engage- ment ring,” he said as he knelt next to her. 254 Part V: Writing with Style 27_599321 ch19.qxp 4/3/06 11:29 PM Page 254 Chapter 20 Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps In This Chapter ᮣ Distinguishing between similar words (affect/effect and so on) ᮣ Differentiating between counting words (more/over and the like) ᮣ Deleting nonstandard words and expressions ᮣ Tracking lie/lay and sit/set ᮣ Separating two-word expressions such as a lot and all right B ecause little things mean a lot, as the saying goes, this chapter puts your writing under a microscope. The tiny errors that can sink you — a nonstandard expression, a faulty irregular verb, and the wrong word from a pair of similar words, for example — are in focus here. Peer through the lens and raise your writing to the highest level. Separating Almost-Twins: Commonly Confused Words Do you know any twins who resemble each other but have completely different personali- ties? One is a professional hang glider, perhaps, and the other a librarian. Then you under- stand that each half of a similar-looking pair may function in a vastly different way, and woe to the writer who sends one to do the other’s job. This section divulges the ones that trip up most people. Affect usually expresses action: Mallory’s tantrum did not affect her mother’s decision to leave the candy aisle. Effect is most often used as a noun and means “result”: One effect of Mallory’s sweet tooth was a truly impressive dental bill. Both affect and effect may be used in other ways, though much less frequently. Affect as a noun means “the way someone displays emotions.” Effect as a verb means “to bring about a change in the face of opposition.” In this chapter, though, I concentrate on the more common usage for each. Got it? If you think you know how you’re affected by the effect of these almost-twins, check out the next set of commonly confused words. Farther refers to distance: Mallory runs farther than anyone else when a candy bar is at stake. Further refers to just about everything but distance (intensity, degree, time, and so forth): When Mallory thought further about the matter, she decided that artificial sweet- ener was never a good choice. 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 255 Other pairs (or triplets) are quite different in appearance, but for some reason people mix them up: Like expresses similarity, but it may not be attached to a subject/verb combo: She jumps like Mike. As expresses similarity too, but it’s the one you want in front of a subject/verb: She jumps as Mike does, but she gets paid less for her leaps. Such as introduces examples: Mallory’s cupboard is stocked with sweets such as pie filling, pudding mix, and chocolate. The last commonly confused words often go together, but they aren’t interchangeable. Imply is “to hint”: Mallory never actually asked for a gumdrop, but she strongly implied that one would be welcome. Infer is “to figure something out that has been implied”: Hearing Mallory’s “Ode on a Gumdrop,” I inferred that the bag of candy would probably be empty after Mallory’s visit. Can you tell the following twins and triplets apart? Circle the best word or phrase in each set of parentheses. Q. Fueled by the caffeine in two double-lattes, Jake drove (farther/further) than anyone else. A. Farther. If you’re dealing with distance, farther is the one you want. 1. The judge insisted on (farther/further) proof that the cop’s speed gun was broken. 2. I gave the judge tons of proof, (like/as/such as) a photo of my car, a statement from my girlfriend about how I always drive slowly, and a perfect-attendance award I earned in second grade. 3. Waving my wallet vigorously, I (implied/inferred) that it was empty and paying the fine was out of the question. 4. (Like/As) judges often do, Judge Crater stubbornly refused to hear my side of the story. 5. “Don’t go any (farther/further) with your testimony,” he snarled. 6. (Like/As) a statue, I shut up and sat as still as a stone. 7. The judge, unfortunately, (implied/inferred) from my behavior that I was silently protest- ing his ruling. 8. The (affect/effect) of this decision was disastrous. 9. Nothing I said, when I started talking again, (affected/effected) the judge’s ruling. 10. Financial setbacks (like/as/such as) speeding tickets completely wreck my budget. 11. I can’t convince my romantic partner to spend (farther/further) time with me without reservations at an expensive restaurant. 12. High-priced food, in my experience, (affects/effects) the way a potential date reacts; if I plan a bowling evening, my date will (imply/infer) that I’m poor and dump me. 256 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 256 Comparing Quantities without Numbers Lost in the fog of the history of English is the reason why different words are used to describe singulars and plurals when you’re counting or measuring: More than, many, and fewer work for plurals: more than nineteen witnesses, many prob- lems, fewer than fifty coffee cups. These words work well with things you can count. Less, much, and over take you into singular territory: less interest in the sport, much unrest, over an hour. These words are best with things you can measure but not count. The word over is frequently misused in place of more or more than. Amount is appropriate when the item you’re discussing is singular: the amount of enthusiasm. Number applies to plurals: the number of bowties. Between is the word you want when you’re talking about two people or things: I’m having trouble choosing between pistachio and chocolate chip. Among is for groups of three or more: Among the twelve candidates for mayor, Shirley stands out. Uncover your toes (in case you need to count higher than ten) and take a stab at this sentence. Circle the correct word in each set of parentheses. Q. Just (between/among) you and me, do you think he needs a dye job? A. between. You plus me equals two, and between is the word for couples. Among comes into play for three or more, as in among the five of us. 13. The boss sent (more than/over) 300 memos describing when and how we can order paper for the copy machine. 14. We employees, all 4,546 of us, discussed the memo (between/among) ourselves, and despite (many/much) difference of opinion, we eventually agreed on one thing. 15. We decided that e-mail uses (fewer/less) paper and is easier to ignore. 16. The boss’s (many/much) memos scold us for the (number/amount) of paper we waste. 17. Recently, the boss’s secretary collected (more than/over) 5,000 sheets of paper from our desks, all of them memos sent to us by the boss. 18. Surely it takes (fewer/less) energy to shelve the issue altogether. 19. (More than/over) a year ago the boss caught “shredding fever.” 20. The (number/amount) of important material he shredded is impossible to determine. 21. Personally, in a contest (between/among) him and his dog, the dog would win the award for “Best Boss.” 22. The dog would fire (fewer/less) employees. 23. With the dog in charge, the (amount/number) of barking would also decrease. 24. (Among/between) the other candidates for a replacement boss that I would consider are all the inhabitants of New York City. 257 Chapter 20: Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 257 Sorry to Bust Your Bubble, but Some Common Expressions Are Wrong English should of been easier, I cannot help but think. Being that English is difficult to learn, I’m going to try and spend more time studying it. Irregardless, I’ll still have time to fold origami, a hobby which I can’t hardly resist because it does not have no stress attached to it. By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that the italicized words in the preceding paragraph are all problematic. In proper English, they don’t exist. If you’re using any made-up expres- sions, it’s time to remove them from your speech and writing and substitute the correct words, which you can see in Table 20-1. Table 20-1 Correcting Made-Up Words Wrong Right Should of Should have, should’ve Would of Would have, would’ve Could of Could have, could’ve Cannot help but Cannot help [insert the -ing form of the verb]: Cannot help wondering, for example Being that Because Try and Try to Irregardless Regardless Can’t hardly Can hardly Here’s your challenge: Rewrite the following sentences, substituting proper English for any nonstandard terms. I throw a few correct sentences into the mix, so when you find one, simply write “correct” in the blank. Q. I can’t help but think that your questions about the final exam are extremely annoying. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ A. I can’t help thinking that your questions about the final exam are extremely annoying. The expressions can’t help but and cannot help but are double negatives. English, not always the most logical language in the universe, is logical in this instance: The two negatives (not and but) cancel each other and express a positive meaning. Thus the original sentence means that you can stop thinking this way if you want to do so. 25. Irregardless of the teacher’s views on technology in the classroom, Mark sends an instant message to his brother. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ 258 Part V: Writing with Style 28_599321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 258 . your engagement ring.” 40 41 39 36 37 38 42 253 Chapter 19: Spicing Up and Trimming Down Your Sentences 27 _59 9321 ch19.qxp 4/3/06 11:29 PM Page 253 L The revision cuts repetition; rapid and quick. your engage- ment ring,” he said as he knelt next to her. 254 Part V: Writing with Style 27 _59 9321 ch19.qxp 4/3/06 11:29 PM Page 254 Chapter 20 Steering Clear of Tricky Word Traps In This Chapter ᮣ. matter, she decided that artificial sweet- ener was never a good choice. 28 _59 9321 ch20.qxp 4/3/06 11:28 PM Page 255 Other pairs (or triplets) are quite different in appearance, but for some