Chapter 9: Reaching an Agreement: Hatching Sentence Parts 123 Strictly Speaking Many people now use the plural personal pronoun their rather than the singular personal pro- nouns his and her with the singu- lar indefinite pronouns everyone and everybody, as in "Everyone take out their pepper spray." Purists still sneer at this usage, so agree to disagree at your own peril. 3. Use a plural pronoun when the antecedents are joined by and. This is true even if the antecedents are sin- gular. • Toody and Muldoon maintain their svelte figures by eating bean sprouts rather than donuts. Because the two singular antecedents Toody and Muldoon are joined by and, use the plural pronoun their. 4. Antecedents joined by or, nor, or correlative conjunctions such as either/or, neither/nor agree with the antecedent closer to the pronoun. • Neither Toody nor the other officers eat their jelly donuts on duty. Use the plural pronoun their to agree with the plural antecedent officers. • Neither the other officers nor Toody eats his donuts on duty. Use the singular pronoun his to agree with the singular antecedent Toody. Notice that the verb eats must also match. 5. Be sure that the pronoun refers directly to the noun. Confusion occurs when the pronoun can refer to more than one antecedent. If you end up with this mish- mash, rewrite the sentence. Confusing: Raul saw an ad in last week's newspaper, but he can't seem to find it. What is it that Raul can't find: the ad or the newspaper? Correct: Raul can't find the ad he saw in last week's newspaper. 6. Avoid sexist language. Traditionally, the pronouns he and his were used to refer to both men and women. Not any more. The current correct usage is he and she or she and he. Error: An employee should turn in his timesheet every Friday. Correct: An employee should turn in his or her timesheet every Friday. If the pronoun pairing necessary to avoid sexist language is cumbersome (and you better believe that it will be), try these options: • Recast the sentence into third person, they or them. For example: Employees should turn in their timesheets every Friday. I2*i PartZ: Under the Grammar Hammer • Recast the sentence into the second person, you. For example: You should turn in your timesheet every Friday. • Try to eliminate the pronoun altogether. For example: Turn in timesheets every Friday. There's more on sexist language in Chapter 25. 7. Always use common sense. When the sentence doesn't seem to fit the rules and you can't figure out how to shoehorn it in, don't improvise, revise! Rewrite the sentence to avoid the problem entirely. Confusing: The executive director along with the marketing vice president (was, were?) at odds over the new scheduling system. Better: The executive director and the marketing vice president were at odds over the new scheduling system. Nose to the Grindstone This one should be a snap, given all the facts you've learned about agreement. In each case, choose the verb that agrees with the subject. Given by the people of France to the people of the United States as a symbol of a shared love of freedom and everlasting friendship, the Statue of Liberty (1 are/is) the largest freestanding sculpture ever created. It (2 weigh/weighs) 450,000 pounds and (3 rise/rises) 151 feet above its pedestal. More than 100 feet around, Ms. Liberty (4 boast/boasts) eyes 2Vi feet wide, a mouth 3 feet wide, and a nose 4 ! /2 feet long. Her upraised right arm (5 extend/extends) 42 feet; her hand (6 are/is) nearly 17 feet long. Her fingers (7 are/is) close to 10 feet long. The statue (8 has/have) an interior framework of iron that (9 keep/keeps) it from toppling over. Tourists and guides enjoy (10 their/his/her) time with this stirring and symbolic landmark. Answers 1. is 3. rises 5. extends 7. are 9. keeps 2. weighs 4. boasts 6. is 8. has 10. their The Least You Need to Know • Agreement means that sentence parts match. • Subjects must agree with verbs and pronouns must agree with antecedents. • Avoid sexist language. Chapter Dazed and Confused: Common Usage Dilemmas In This Chapter • Dangle participles • Misplace modifiers • Mix metaphors • Split infinitives • Resolve other perplexing grammar issues Once upon a time, when writing styles were more formal than they are now, some people were very careful never to end a sentence with a prepo- sition. Even then, however, there were stylistic mavericks who let their prepositions fall with abandon. Winston Churchill was one of these people. His secretary, appalled, always revised the drafts of Churchill's speeches to avoid ending sentences with a preposition. Exasperated, Churchill finally sent this message to his secretary: "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put." 126 Part Z: Under the Grammar Hammer In this chapter, you learn whether you should or shouldn't follow Churchill's lead and conclude a sentence with a preposition. You also find information on other sticky gram- mar issues, including dangling participles and misplaced modifiers. In addition, I bring you up to speed on the latest grammar "rulings" concerning splitting infinitives, using hopefully, and choosing between like or as. Dangling Modifiers: Counterintelligence What's wrong with the following sentence? Coming up the hall, the clock struck 10. As written, the sentence states that the clock was coming up the hall. An ambulatory clock is possible, but neither highly likely nor terribly desirable. This misunderstand- ing about the clock's power of locomotion occurs because the phrase "coming up the hall" has nothing to modify or describe. A phrase left twisting in the wind like this is called a dangling modifier. Remember that a modifier is a word or phrase that gives more information about the subject, verb, or object in a clause. A modifier is said to "dangle" when the word it modifies is not actually in the sentence. "Coming up the hall" is a dangling modifier because it cannot be attached to any word in the sentence. Dangling modifiers confuse your readers and obscure your meaning. These errors don't jump out at you like a spelling blooper or a shark attack; rather, they sneak up on you like April 15 or middle age. And they can be just as deadly. You Could Look It Up A dangling modifier is a word or phrase that describes something that has been left out of the sentence. A clause is a group of words with its own sub- ject and verb. See Chapter 1 2 for a detailed description of clauses. Help Is on the Way Because the basic problem with a dangling modifier is a lack of connection, you must provide a noun or pronoun to which the dangling construction can be attached. There are two basic ways to do this: 1. Rewrite the modifier as a subordinate clause. Dangling: Confirming our conversation, the shipment will be ordered on Monday. Chapter 10: Dazed and Confused: Common Usage Dilemmas 127 (According to this sentence, the shipment—not the speaker—confirmed the conversation.) Correct: As I stated in the memo, the shipment will be ordered on Monday. 2. Rewrite the main clause so the subject or object can be modified by the now- dangling phrase. Dangling: Confirming our conversation, the shipment will be ordered on Monday. Correct: Confirming our conversation, I have arranged for the shipment to be ordered on Monday. Man the Battle Stations Time to play, so let's have some fun. Correct each of these dangling constructions by rewriting the modifier as a subordinate clause or rewriting the main clause so the sub- ject or object can be modified by the now-dangling phrase. 1. Do not sit in the chair without being fully assembled. 2. Locked in a vault for 50 years, the owner of the coins decided to sell them. 3. Important facts might be revealed when leaving. 4. Making startling new discoveries in science, the Renaissance was a time of rebirth. 5. While driving down the highway, a bad collision was seen. 6. While eating dinner, a fly slipped into her soup. 7. The tomb of the Egyptian pharaoh commanded attention coming into the exhibit. 8. Sailing up the river, the Statue of Liberty was seen. 128 PartZ: Under the Grammar Hammer Answers Possible responses: 1. You should not sit in the chair unless it is fully assembled. 2. The owner decided to sell his coins, which had been locked in a vault for 50 years. 3. You might reveal important facts when you leave. 4. The Renaissance was a time of rebirth when people made startling new discov- eries in science. 5. While we were driving down the highway, we saw a bad collision. 6. While Cécile was eating dinner, a fly slipped into her soup. 7. The tomb of the Egyptian pharaoh commanded our attention as we came into the exhibit. 8. As we sailed up the river, we saw the Statue of Liberty. Misplaced Modifiers: Lost and Found You can lose your car keys, your temper, and even your head—but please, don't mis- place your modifiers. It's as tacky as a pork chop at a bar mitzvah. A misplaced modifier is just that: a phrase, clause, or word placed too far from the noun or pronoun it describes. As a result, the sentence fails to convey your exact meaning. But misplaced modifiers usually carry a double wallop: They often create confusion or imply something unintentionally funny. This is not a good thing when you want to make a competent impression with your writing. Here's an example of a misplaced modifier: They bought a puppy for my sister they call Fido. modifies. As this sentence is written, it means that the sister, not You Could Look It UD t ^ ie P u PPy' * s name d Fido. That's because the modi- ""' fier "they call Fido" is in the wrong place in the sen- tence. To correct a misplaced modifier, move the modifier as close as possible to the word or phrase it is describing. Here's how the sentence should read: They bought a puppy they call Fido for my sister. A misplaced modifier is a phrase, clause, or word placed too far from the word or words it Chapter 10: Dazed and Confused: Common Usage Dilemmas 129 It Says What? Study this chart to see how a misplaced modifier can distort a writer's meaning. Then see how I moved the modifier so the sentence makes sense. Sentence #1: The patient was referred to a psychologist with several emotional problems. What the writer thinks it says: The patient has emotional problems. What the sentence really says: The psychologist has emotional problems. Correction: The patient with several emotional problems was referred to a psychologist. Sentence #2: Sam found a letter in the mailbox that doesn't belong to her. What the writer thinks it says: Sam found a letter that doesn't belong to her. What the sentence really says: The mailbox doesn't belong to Sam. Connection: Sam found a letter that doesn't belong to her in the mailbox. Sentence #3: Two cars were reported stolen by the Farmingdale police yesterday. What the writer thinks it says: The Farmingdale police reported two stolen cars. What the sentence really says: The police stole the two cars. Correction: Yesterday, the Farmingdale police reported that two cars were stolen. Sentence #4: Please take time to look over the brochure that is enclosed with your family. What the writer thinks it says: Look over the brochure with your family. What the sentence really says: The brochure is enclosed with your family. Correction: Please take time to look over the enclosed brochure with your family. Sentence #5: Luis had driven over with his wife, Chris, from their home in a Chevy for the basketball game. What the writer thinks it says: Luis and Chris JÉI11& /» nj ~ , , A -a, • /-u *. u, JHSHkV J Quoth the Maven drove in their Chevy to the game. m Çjr" ^mVjT^ To avoid these embarrassing What the sentence really says: Luis and Chris ^V sentenœ errofS( p | Qœ Q modjfjer live in a Chevy. Collection: Luis had driven over in a Chevy with his wife, Chris, from their home for the basketball game. as close as possible to the word it modifies or describes. And do something about that tie, please. BO Part 2: Under the Grammar Hammer Quiz Show It's show time! To see if you've got the hang of writing sentences with correctly placed modifiers, rewrite each of the following bollixed-up sentences. 1. The writer read from his new book wearing glasses. 2. You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 3. As we begin, I must ask you to banish all information about the case from your mind, if you have any. 4. A superb and inexpensive restaurant; fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. 5. Many of the trustees congratulated him for his speech at the end of the meeting and promised their support. 6. For sale: An antique desk suitable for a lady with thick legs and large drawers. 7. For sale: Several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. 8. Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 9. For sale: Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with a round bottom for efficient beating. 10. We almost made a profit of $10. Chapter 10: Dazed and Confused: Common Usage Dilemmas 131 Answers Did you get these nice clear revisions? 1. Wearing glasses, the writer read from his new book. (Or: The writer, wearing glasses, read from his new book.) 2. Daily, except Thursday, you are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried. 3. As we begin, I must ask you to banish any information about the case from your mind. 4. A superb and inexpensive restaurant; fine food in appetizing forms is served expertly by waitresses. 5. At the end of the meeting, many of the trustees congratulated him for his speech and promised their support. 6. For sale: An antique desk with thick legs and large drawers suitable for a lady. 7. For sale: Several very old dresses in beautiful condition from grandmother. 8. Wanted: Man that does not smoke or drink to take care of cow. 9. For sale: Mixing bowl set with round bottoms for efficient beating designed to please a cook. 10. We made a profit of almost ten dollars. Mixed Metaphors: A Dollar Late and a Day Short Figures of speech use words for more than their literal meaning. There are a number of different kinds of figures of speech, including hyperbole, understatement, personification, analogies, similes, and metaphors. Today, class, our focus is on the metaphor. A metaphor is a figure of speech that com- pares two unlike things. The more familiar thing helps describe the less familiar one. Unlike their first cousins, similes, metaphors do not use the words like or as to make the comparison. "My heart is a singing bird" is an example of a metaphor. You Could Look It Up A metaphor is a figure of speech that compares two unlike things. The more familiar thing helps describe the less familiar one. 132 Part 2: Under the Grammar Hammer As you can tell from the preceding definition, metaphors are innocent creatures that never did harm to anyone. That being the case, how can we explain this abomination: "I don't want to say they lost sight of the big picture, but they have marched to a different drummer," Victor Fortuno, the general counsel of Legal Services Corporation, said of the individual lawyer's challenges. "Whether it will upset the apple cart, I don't know." Like the title of this section, this passage is a mixed metaphor, a combination of images that do not work well together. It's like that old joke: "Keep your eye on the ball, your ear to the ground, your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel: Now try to work in that position." Here are some other mixed metaphors: • Milking the temp workers for all they were worth, the manager barked orders at them. (The first image suggests cows; the second, dogs. That's one animal too many.) • Unless we tighten our belts, we'll sink like a stone. You Could Look It Up _, A mixed metaphor is a combination of images that do not work well together. Strictly Speaking Mixed metaphors occur when writers string together clichés. Don't string together clichés and you won't get mixed metaphors. More on this in Chapter 24. (Belts and a stone? I think not.) • The fallback was a bulldozer, running up and down the field like an angel. (Only Ali could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee; this football bulldozer can't move like an angel.) • The movie weaves a story that herds characters and readers into the same camp. (Let's not mix spiderwebs and cattle roundups.) Like all comparisons, metaphors must contain elements that can be compared logically— even if not explicitly. The comparison must be consistent as well. Like my sister zoom- ing to the sweaters at a department store super sale, stay focused on a single element when you create metaphors. Otherwise, you risk creating the dreaded mixed metaphor. Don't mix your drinks or your metaphors and you'll go far. Here are two more suggestions to help you keep your metaphors straight: • Use only a single metaphor per paragraph. • Make sure the verb matches the action the subject of the metaphor might take. (For example: a bulldozer driving up the field.) . • Neither Toody nor the other officers eat their jelly donuts on duty. Use the plural pronoun their to agree with the plural antecedent officers. • Neither the other officers nor Toody . use the plural pronoun their. 4. Antecedents joined by or, nor, or correlative conjunctions such as either/or, neither/nor agree with the antecedent closer to the pronoun. • Neither. with the following sentence? Coming up the hall, the clock struck 10. As written, the sentence states that the clock was coming up the hall. An ambulatory clock is possible, but neither