Chapter Z: Conan the Grammarian _23 Damaqe Control Now that you know where you're most likely to need some added writing instruction and practice, try these three ideas to help you see where you should focus your efforts: • Keep track of the writing errors you make by checking your own work or seeing what points your co-workers and supervisors mention repeatedly. • For now, take it one chapter at a time. Concentrate on one element of your writing in turn. Don't try to master all of grammar and usage; you'll make yourself mad and very dull at parties. • Remember that using standard grammar with confidence will help you build the credible image you want—and need— to succeed. Mission Possible How can you succeed in improving your skills in grammar, usage, and mechanics? Try these 10 methods. I guarantee success! 1. First of all, recognize that you can succeed. Many, many people before you who weren't very good at grammar and punctuation have learned more than enough to get where they want to be. 2. Face the fact that it doesn't happen overnight. It will take you some time to get it all down. 3. Lose the fear of being criticized. You're no grammar wuss. 4. Decide that you are going to learn. Make a commitment to do it. 5. Practice, practice, practice. Look for opportunities to practice your writing and speaking skills. 6. Find someone who will read your writing and give you an honest critique. 7. Take courses in basic English and reading. Check out adult education in your local school district or community college. Danger, Will Robinson Don't panic if you can't identify each type of error at this point. Just do the best you can. Remember: You're going to take the Writing Inventory again. Danger, Will Robinson When most managers complain that their employees "can't write," they are most often referring to errors their people make in grammar and usage. 2*i Parti: No Uncertain Terms gSSky, y Quoth the Maven _ ^Vf Don't have time to sit in class? You don't need to! Some commu- nity colleges offer basic writing courses for adults on trains and buses rather than in traditional classrooms; many companies now give "mini-courses" and writing seminars in their conference rooms. What could be more convenient? 8. Try a computer tutorial program. It has the advan- tage of being private; just you and your 'puter. 9. Keep a journal of your work habits, strengths, and accomplishments. Not only is it good writing practice, but it's also handy to have at review time. When you talk to your superior about promo- tions and raises, you can refer to this journal for specific examples of your accomplishments. 10. Just do it! Don't put off writing that proposal for six months because you think your writing isn't good enough yet. The Least You Need to Know • Most writers make the same grammar, usage, mechanical, and spelling errors over and over. • Assess your writing strengths and weaknesses to help you concentrate on the areas that need specific improvement. • You can improve your writing now by following the methods outlined in this chapter. Under the Grammar Hammer Believe it or not, grammar comes from the same word that glamour comes from. In the 1700s, grammar meant "enchantment, magic" (among other things). A sloppy speaker here, a sloppy speaker there, the r became an /. Voilà! A new word is born: glamour. To most of us, however, Tom Cruise has glamour, Liz Taylor has glamour, even Rin Tin Tin had some glamour (even though it's a little furry). Grammar does not have glamour. Neither does grammar have much magic, unless it's the witches' caldron variety. But you've been misled. I'm here to tell you that grammar can have glam- our. It can even be sexy. In this part of the book, you learn the nitty-gritty of using English properly, including parts of speech, pronoun reference, case, verb tense, agreement, and solutions to a host of other common usage dilemmas. Chapter Parts of Speech: Coming to Terms In This Chapter • Learn four of the eight parts of speech: nouns, verbs, conjunctions, and prepositions • Understand the concept of subject and object • See how words are put together to create meaning English words are divided into eight different parts of speech according to their function in a sentence. The parts of speech are (the envelope, please): adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, interjections, nouns, pronouns, prepositions, and verbs. In this chapter, you learn all about nouns, verbs, conjunctions, and prepositions. I explain the other four parts of speech in Chapter 4. You learn how to recognize parts of speech so you have a standard way to describe how words work together to create meaning. Nouns: Prime-Time Players A noun is a word that names a person, place, or thing. Nouns, like house guests, come in different varieties. House guests include those you want, those you hate, and those you're stuck with regardless. Nouns come in these varieties: common nouns, proper nouns, compound nouns, and collective nouns. 28 Part 2: Under the Grammar Hammer You Could Look It Up A noun is a word that names a person, place, or thing. Take My Word for It The word noun comes from the Latin word nomen, which means "name." Now, wouldn't that make a great pick-up line? 1. Common nouns name any one of a class of person, place, or thing. • boy • city • food 2. Proper nouns name a specific person, place, or thing. • Bob • New York City • Rice-a-Roni 3. Compound nouns are two or more nouns that function as a single unit. A com- pound noun can be two individual words, words joined by a hyphen, or two words combined. • individual words: time capsule • hyphenated words: great-uncle • combined words: basketball 4. Collective nouns name groups of people or things. • audience • family • herd • crowd Take a few seconds to catch your breath. Then underline the nouns in each of the fol- lowing sentences. 1. A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. 2. He came across two men. 3. One man was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other man was typing away on his typewriter. 4. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. 5. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. Chapter 3: Parts of Speech: Coming to Terms Z9 Answers 1. lion, jungle, something 2. men 3. man, tree, book, man, typewriter 4. lion, man, book 5. king, jungle, readers, writers Possessive Nouns: Vio of the Law In life, possession shows success; in grammar, possession shows ownership. Follow these rules to create possessive nouns. 1. With singular nouns, add an apostrophe and s. • girl: girl's manuscript • student: student's ideas 2. With plural nouns ending in s, add an apostrophe after the s. • girls: girls' manuscript • students: students' ideas 3. With plural nouns not ending in s, add an apostrophe and s. • women: women's books • mice: mice's tails Possess It! Reduce each of the following sentences to fewer words by using the possessive form. Doing so will improve your writing style. Here's an example: Original: The comedy routines of the Three Stooges aren't funny to me. Revised: The Three Stooges' comedy routines aren't funny to me. 1. The original name of Mel Brooks was Melvin Kaminsky. 2. The quack of a duck doesn't echo, and no one knows why. Part 2: Under the Grammar Hammer 3. The placement of the eyes of a donkey in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times. 4. The original name of Mickey Mouse was Mortimer Mouse. 5. The real name of Hulk Hogan is Terry Bollea. 6. The milk of a camel does not curdle. 7. In Fantasia by Disney, the name of the Sorcerer is Yensid, which is Disney backward. 8. The urine of a cat glows under a black light. 9. The favorite hobby of my mother-in-law is playing cards with her computer. 10. Keep the boss of your boss off the back of your boss. Answers 1. Mel Brooks' original name was Melvin Kaminsky. 2. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. 3. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times. 4. Mickey Mouse's original name was Mortimer Mouse. 5. Hulk Hogan's real name is Terry Bollea. 6. Camel's milk does not curdle. 7. In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is Yensid, which is Disney backward. 8. A cat's urine glows under a black light. 9. My mother-in-law's favorite hobby is playing cards with her computer. 10. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. Chapter 3: Parts of Speech: Coming to Terms 31 Plural Nouns: Two's Company, Three's a Crowd Here are the guidelines for creating plural nouns. 1. Add s to form the plural of most nouns. • boy: boys • girl: girls • computer: computers 2. Add es if the noun ends in s, sh, ch, or x. • class: classes • wish: wishes • inch: inches • box: boxes 3. If a noun ends in consonant -y, change the y to / and add es. • city: cities • lady: ladies 4. If a noun ends in vowel -y, add s. Words ending in -quy don't follow this rule (as in soliloquies). • essay: essays • monkey: monkeys Too Much of a Good Thing? Before I overwhelm you with the rules, take a break and make each of the following singular words plural. Write your answer in the space provided. Singular Plural 1. roach 2. alto 3. cameo 4. lily 5. sex 32 Part 2: Under the Grammar Hammer 6. cry 7. potato 8. kitten 9. silo 10. fez Answers 1. roaches 2. altos 3. cameos 4. lilies 5. sexes 6. cries 7. potatoes 8. kittens 9. silos 10. fezzes 5. Add s to most nouns ending inf. However, the/endings are so irregular as to be nearly random. If you have any doubts at all, consult a dictionary. Singular brief chief proof Plural briefs chiefs proofs Exceptions: In some cases, change the /to fe or v and add es: Singular Plural • self selves • wolf wolves • leaf leaves Exception: This rule doesn't hold for names. When you're dealing with names, just add s. Thus, Mr. and Mrs. Wolf becomes the Wolfs. 6. In compound words, make the main word plural. Singular Plural • mother-in-law mothers-in-law • passerby passersby sister-in-law sisters-in-law . tree and reading a book; the other man was typing away on his typewriter. 4. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. 5. Even the king of the jungle knows that . words are put together to create meaning English words are divided into eight different parts of speech according to their function in a sentence. The parts of speech are (the envelope, please):. Mouse. 5. The real name of Hulk Hogan is Terry Bollea. 6. The milk of a camel does not curdle. 7. In Fantasia by Disney, the name of the Sorcerer is Yensid, which is Disney backward. 8. The