MARCH 26 If you are an artist, it is work that fulfills and makes you come into wholeness, and that goes on through a lifetime Whatever the wounds that have to heal, the moment of creation assures that all is well, that one is still in tune with the universe, that the inner chaos can be proved and distilled into order and beauty —MAY SARTON May Sarton was speaking as a writer But there are all kinds of ways in which all of us make art in our lives—a splendid photograph, a needlepoint pillow, a meal, a garden, the arrangement of a room The important thing is making something: taking words, colors, pieces of wood, seeds, or food and arranging them in a meaningful and beautiful way In doing this we are showing ourselves that we are not undone by the disorder our grief has cast us into See—we can take this, even this, and weave it into our life’s fabric So take a step Make something Perhaps something like a poem or a painting can express your grief Maybe a meal, or a sweater, is more your style A friend whose son had committed suicide tells me that when she started to sew some clothes for herself, she began to believe in life again Perhaps in some new work of my hands I will find solace and meaning for my life MARCH 27 When your burden is heaviest, you can always lighten a little some other burden At the times when you cannot see God, there is still open to you this sacred possibility, to show God; for it is the love and kindness of human hearts through which the divine reality comes home to men, whether they name it or not Let this thought, then, stay with you: there may be times when you cannot find help, but there is no time when you cannot give help —GEORGE S MERRIAM Often, especially in first grief, we don’t have the will or energy to anything much, for ourselves or for anyone else But as we begin to get better, we can give ourselves a welcome break from our preoccupying sadness by doing something for another It expresses the hope that we are not always going to be stuck in this valley of sadness Not to mention that such a move on our part can be reassuring and useful to someone else! It is amazing the way depression lifts when we are able to move out of our own concerns and something for someone else MARCH 28 Grief comes in unexpected surges…Mysterious cues that set off a reminder of grief It comes crashing like a wave, sweeping me in its crest, twisting me inside out Then recedes, leaving me broken Oh, Mama, I don’t want to eat, to walk, to get out of bed Reading, working, cooking, listening, mothering Nothing matters I not want to be distracted from my grief I wouldn’t mind dying I wouldn’t mind at all —TOBY TALBOT Anything can set us off—a fragment of music, a piece of old clothing we come upon when cleaning out a closet, a slip of paper that falls out of a book, with that familiar handwriting on it Just when we thought we were feeling better, gaining some stability, something comes to plunge us right back into that raw, overpowering sense of loss Not only are we unable to think of anything else, we don’t want to There is nothing on the horizon but this Our grief occupies our life out to the edges If we try to look to the future, our glance is stuck in this mire of grief Is it any wonder we think of our own death as not such a bad idea? This mood comes without warning and it is devastating It also passes So…live in your grief, yes But also wait To accept the surges of grief when they come is also to know they will pass MARCH 29 Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself I mean, not be disturbed because of your imperfections, and always rise up bravely from a fall I’m glad that you make daily a new beginning; there is no better means of progress in the spiritual life than to be continually beginning afresh —FRANCIS DE SALES One of the things that is so hard about recovering from grief is that it Takes So Long And we get discouraged, not only from the continuing presence of the grief, but because of our own inability to handle it better Just when we think we are making progress—wham, it sweeps over us and seems new again Nowhere more than here is it important to be patient with ourselves, not let ourselves be weighed down by the discouragements of yesterday Each day is a new day, a fresh beginning As I stand on the threshold of this day, I leave behind me the cares and anxieties of yesterday MARCH 30 Possess yourself as much as you possibly can in peace; not by any effort, but by letting all things fall to the ground which trouble or excite you This is no work, but is, as it were, a setting down a fluid to settle that has become turbid through agitation —MADAME GUYON This is another way of suggesting that we try to live in the moment and not let preoccupation with our grief take over the rest of our life It is easier said than done—putting our sadness aside and paying attention only to what is happening around us now It is a counsel we will not always be able to follow, and probably shouldn’t try to But the image of letting all things fall to the ground is a good one and a mental exercise worth trying So imagine that you are standing still and straight, and that by a touch of an inner-control button you let all the stress and grief in your life slowly start slipping down your arms and legs, to be absorbed into the ground beneath you How much lighter you feel! Your arms could almost rise into the air—so free are they from the weight of all that remembered pain Think you have gotten rid of it all? Walk away a few steps and try the same exercise again To some extent it is in my power to decide when I will let grief take over ... gaining some stability, something comes to plunge us right back into that raw, overpowering sense of loss Not only are we unable to think of anything else, we don’t want to There is nothing on the... disturbed because of your imperfections, and always rise up bravely from a fall I’m glad that you make daily a new beginning; there is no better means of progress in the spiritual life than to be continually