(Luận văn đại học thương mại) shows data collected from pullman hanoi hotel and research findings which are analyzed from the information

ABSTRACT This Graduation Paper deals with some common mistakes made by employees of Pullman Hanoi Hotel when replying business letters from their customers The paper is divided into four parts The first part is the overview of the study The second part presents literature review of business correspondence The third part shows results of the research and final part is some suggestions for the problems The aim of this paper is to determine common mistakes in writing of Pullman Hanoi Hotel and give out solutions for them The methodology in this research is quantitative methodology with two data collecting techniques: questionnaire and document analyzing i LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to express my gratitude to my advisor Ms Nguyen Bich Hong, who was really patient and supportive I would also like to thank Pullman Hanoi Hotel, especially all members of Front Office Department and Sales Department, who were willing to provide me with sample business correspondence for my analysis and supported me throughout my studies ii LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com TABLE OF CONTENT ABSTRACT i ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii TABLE OF CONTENT iii LIST OF ABBREVIATION v LIST OF TABLES AND FIGURES vi CHAPTER 1: OVERVIEW OF THE STUDY 1.1 Rationale 1.2 Previous studies 1.3 Aims of the study 1.4 Research subjects 1.5 Scope of the study 1.6 Research methodology 1.7 Organization of the study CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW .5 2.1 An Overview of English Business Correspondence .5 2.1.1 The Definition of Business Correspondence .5 2.1.2 Meaning of Business Correspondence 2.1.3 Importance of Business Correspondence 2.1.4 Essential Qualities of a Good Business Correspondence 2.1.5 Format of a Business correspondence 2.2 Types of Business correspondence 13 2.2.1 Letter of Inquiry and Offer 14 2.2.2 Letter of changes and cancellation 14 2.2.3 Letter of complaint 14 iii LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com 2.3 Common mistakes in replying to a business correspondence 14 PART 3: RESEARCH FINDINGS 16 3.1 Questionnaire 16 3.1.1 Participants 16 3.1.2 Purpose of survey questionnaire .16 3.1.3 Design of survey questionnaire .17 3.1.4 Data analysis 17 3.2 Document Analyzing 24 3.2.1 Analyzing results 24 3.2.2 Summary of the analysis 25 CHAPTER 4: RECOMMENDATIONS AND SUGGESTIONS 27 CONCLUSION 33 REFERENCES vii APPENDIX viii iv LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com LIST OF ABBREVIATION Etc Et cetera Vân vân Vol Volume Tập No Number Số Sep September Tháng Pp Page Trang E.g Exempli gratia Ví dụ v LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com LIST OF TABLES AND FIGURES No Name Content Table 3.1 Table 3.2 Figure 3.1 The use of Salutation Clauses 19 Figure 3.2 The use of Complimentary Closes 20 Figure 3.3 Style of business letter 21 Figure 3.4 The use of Modal and Lexical verbs 22 Number of letters received by Pullman Hanoi Hotel Self- Assessment of English writing skills, basic grammar Page 16 18 The use of Complex and Simple Figure 3.5 sentences 22 Figure 3.6 The use of Passive and Active Voice 23 vi LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com vii LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com CHAPTER 1: OVERVIEW OF THE STUDY 1.1 Rationale Writing letter is a popular means of communication It appears in both formal types like letters of recommendation, resignation letters… and informal letters like Thank-you letters, regarding letters or even love letters Business letters in English are also popular in the world because English has become a global language and it is now used by many countries as the official means of communication Nevertheless, there is a fact that not everyone who speaks English can write a letter in English well, especially a commercial correspondence, because writing a letter requires the writer should make it natural, lively and persuasive Consequently, writing a successful letter is really a problem not only to students but also to employees in any enterprises During internship period in Pullman Hanoi Hotel, I realized that writing is a difficult skill It requires a basic background of English grammar and written experience In written English, writers always have to pay attention to many factors such as tenses, sentence structures, voice, etc Each of them plays an important role in making a correct letter As a result, I would like to conduct a research on some common mistakes made in commercial correspondence in Pullman Hanoi Hotel Moreover, I hope to find out solution for these mistakes to help employees improve their ability in dealing with customers and enhance the image as well as the quality of Pullman Hanoi Hotel 1.2 Previous studies There are some studies conducted on a similar subject LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com Nguyen Linh Chi – FA1 – 99 of Hanoi University did an assignment on writing business letter In the research, she gathered some of the most useful techniques for writing a letterform in general and a commercial correspondence in particular Some common problems of students when writing a formal letter were shown (Mistake of format, Mistake of planning, Mistake of language usage) and she also given out recommendations to overcome those difficulties were also given out In another research of Larry Beason - Ethos and Error: How Business People React to Errors (College Composition and Communication Vol 53, No (Sep., 2001), pp 33-64), many variables were researched associated with negative reactions to errors appearing in business writing He examined how business professionals react to errors and came to a conclusion that although errors can hamper meaning, there is another important problem in how readers use errors to raise a negative image of a writer or organization 1.3 Aims of the study People write letters many times in their life: letters to friends, mother, father, letters of greeting, letters of congratulation, letters of consolation, etc However, when writing a formal letter, especially in English, they often encounter problems For this reason, I particularly want to make clear some common mistakes in my study with these following aims:  Studying major types of business letters  Indicating some common mistakes made by employees of Pullman Hanoi Hotel when writing business letters  Finding solution for the mistakes to help them improve writing skill 1.4 Research subjects Subjects of this study are some common mistakes made in business letters written by employees from two departments of Pullman Hanoi Hotel: Front Office LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com Department and Sales Department They are the ones who must reply letters form customers daily 1.5 Scope of the study Types of business letter in written English are rather various However, the research on all kinds of letters is too difficult for an undergraduate student like me Thus, in this research, I will concentrate on studying some common mistakes made in replying to three major types: Letters of Inquiry and Offer, Letters of Changes and Cancelation, Letters of Complaint They are three main types of business letter that Pullman Hanoi Hotel usually has to deal with 1.6 Research methodology This study is a quantitative research Two techniques used for collecting data are questionnaire and documents analyzing It was undertaken mostly in Front Office Department and Sales Department of Pullman Hanoi Hotel The questionnaire was distributed to 30 employees of the two departments about some common mistakes they often made in replying to business letters from their clients Other necessary information was taken from the textbook of Commercial Correspondence and various sources from the Internet 1.7 Organization of the study This paper provides a clear organization consisting four main parts:  Chapter starts with an Overview of the study, including Rationale, Aims of the study, Research Subjects, Scope of the study, and Research Methodology and Organization of the study  Chapter is Literature review which presents theories related to the study, consisting some main part as following: LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com Other factor of a business letter is complex sentences Figure 3.5 show my analysis of complex and simple sentences in the questionnaire Complex sentences are considered to be more formal and the analysis will show if the business correspondence contained more complex or simple sentences The figure shows that all of the answers contained complex sentences in 30%, which means 12 answers out of 30 However, the remaining 18 answers is simple sentences, which is 70% of received answers The reason for this might result from a lack of stuff training about writing Business correspondence Complex sentences itself are the tool to make business letter more effective and impressive but when the reader reads the letter, the message should be clear and understandable It might be another reason for those short sentences The use of Passive and Active Voice 70.00% 60.00% 50.00% 40.00% 30.00% 20.00% 10.00% 0.00% Passive Voice Active Voice Figure 3.6 The use of Passive and Active Voice Figure 3.6 shows usage of the Passive and Active Voice It is obvious that answers mostly contained the Active Voice rather than the Passive Voice I found the Passive Voice in only 11 answers out of 30 Another 19 answers appeared without the Passive Voice but contained the Active Voice 24 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com 3.2 Document Analyzing 3.2.1 Analyzing results To have a deep perception of common mistakes made in replying business correspondence of the employees in Pullman Hanoi Hotel, I will analyze some of their writing I have collected 30 letters from Front Office Department and Sales Department of the hotel Firstly, all of their letters use Salutation and Complimentary Closes correctly 10 out of 30 letters use Dear Sir/Madam, the remaining 20 letters use Dear Mr./ Mrs + name, but 11 out of them use first name of the guests instead of their surnames such as “Dear Mrs Doris”, “Dear Henry” and “Dear Mason” In two cases of the letters for Mr David Harrison and Mr Bryan Martin, they contain the Complimentary Closes “See you soon” However, noting that those letters are replying letters to close guests of the hotel, we can understand that as it shows the relationship between the hotel and its customers Most of the problems are in terms of short and simple sentences 21 out of 30 letters seem to be less natural and unprofessional because of those sentences Particularly, in the business letter to Mr Godfrey replying his inquiry, the two sentences “We are pleased to enclose our latest brochure It contains full particulars about rates, meals, facilities, etc.” can be merged into one using relative clause “We are pleased to enclose our latest brochure giving full particulars about rates, meals, facilities, etc.” The next two sentences can also be connected “From August to August 19, we would offer two double rooms on the third floor They have a beautiful view of the sea.” To “For the period of august to august 19 we can offer you two double rooms on the third floor, with a beautiful view of the sea.” The same situation also occurs in the replying letter to Mr Vincent, with short sentences in the third paragraph “We can also offer you three single rooms Two of them are on 25 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com the first floor and one the second One of the two first floor rooms is not far from the lift (about 10 meters) Like the double room, is in the front of the building.” In the letter to another guest, expressions “This is a very busy period for us Therefore, we are sorry we cannot arrange any alternative accommodation.” and “We have however reserved the accommodation you need at the Western Hotel We will send you a brochure of them.” will be more persuasive in changing to “You will realize that this is a very busy period for us and we are sorry we cannot arrange any alternative accommodation.” and “We have however reserved the accommodation you need at the Western Hotel, a brochure of which we enclose herewith.” Besides, there are some other mistakes made in these letters The first one is the use of Active Voice We cannot deny the fact that most employees always use Active Voice rather than Passive Voice because it is easier However, in the replying letter to letter of complaint from Mr Henry Carney, the use of Active Voice instead of Passive Voice is not a good choice While generally, it can show their assertive tone toward the problems made by the hotel and make customers satisfied with it, the use of Active Voice in this letter seems to have a negative tone, e.g “It was unacceptable and will never happen again.”, “Since the call dropped a second time, you might want to check your phone service provider We pride ourselves on our service, and would never something like that.” This could bring frustration and annoying to the receiver Word choice is also a problem which need to be concerned I found 13 out of 30 letters use the expression “I will send you…” It would be more persuasive to use “I enclose…” as it is more appropriate to formal style of the hotel Another mistake all the employees may encounter is the use of contraction “I’ll…”, which was found in out of 30 letters It is absolutely not a good choice in a business writing 3.2.2 Summary of the analysis 26 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com In first part of my analysis, I analyzed the formality levels in those letter Usage of formality levels in business correspondence is considered to be medium, as my analysis shows Analysis of the Salutation in business letters provided a lot of interesting information In most cases, salutations like Dear + first name were used instead of a surname; another type of Salutation was Dear + name - that shows informality, but mainly to close partners The most formal Salutation, Dear Sir/Madam was also applied a lot in those letters As concerns Complimentary Closes in business correspondence, business letters mostly contained the Complimentary Close “Yours faithfully” and “Yours sincerely”, which appropriate to a business letter The next part of the analysis contained information about grammar mistakes The results of my analysis show that usage of complex sentences, which are a sign of formality, is very low Complex sentences mostly appeared in replying letters to Letters of Complaint The Passive Voice in business correspondence is also considered to be very formal Analysis shows that usage of the passive voice is also low in comparison to the active voice The active voice is considered to be more polite but usage of the passive voice is formal In short, the employees in Pullman Hanoi Hotel still have some problems in writing business letters, especially the problems in grammar such as complex sentences, passive voice, etc 27 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com CHAPTER 4: RECOMMENDATIONS AND SUGGESTIONS In this part, I would like to suggest solutions for common mistakes found in the preceding charts  Tips for three particular types of business letters  How to respond to Letters of Inquiry and Offer - Specifically indicate the inquiry that was made, as you understand it - Express your appreciation for the person’s interest - If possible, personally respond to the inquiry You might want to include with your response letter any brochures, catalogs, reports, or other helpful information available - If appropriate, clearly describe any action you feel the person should take and the reason for such a recommendation - If you cannot personally answer the person’s question, let him/her know that you have contacted the person who can and that he/she will shortly be in touch with the reader If this is not possible, express your regret for being unable to help the reader, and try to find out for him/her the contact information for someone who can help - Close by saying that you would be happy to help the reader in the future if he/she needs further assistance or by wishing him/her well in his/her endeavor or project, etc  How to write Letters of Changes and Cancellation - It should only be written when the decision is absolutely final 28 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com - It should be given well in advance to give enough notice to the other party or company - Clearly mention the reason – Be very specific and explaining why you are cancelling or changing with necessary details - Avoid giving wrong information – Provide information to the reader only if it is correct and authentic Never lie or provide wrong information to convince readers - It is a very important document and hence should be delivered to the corresponding person with care - Keep it short and to the point Limit the letter to one page if possible  How to respond to Letters of Complaint - Check whether your company has a policy for dealing with complaints – it might specify who should respond and/or a response time - Check any policy or standards relevant to the complaint (such as service level agreements) – sometimes complaints are not based on reasonable expectations - It is essential to respond to all complaints with sympathy and understanding, regardless of the appropriateness of the complaint or the decision about remedial action Remember that the person who has made the complaint is another human being who deserves respect Focus on issues and solutions, not personalities or emotions - Always demonstrate a willingness to understand a customer's feelings and situation, whether or not you actually agree with their stand-point This will go a long way towards soothing anger and disappointment, even if you are unable to provide a response which fully meets their expectations or their initial demands  Use phrases like, "I understand that must be very upsetting for you," rather than "Yes, I agree, you've been badly treated." Remember that you can understand without necessarily agreeing with the point 29 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com  Try to make contact by phone, even if you are sending a written response – this is often more reliable and effective when trying to diffuse conflict and rebuild trust - Before sending your response  Check again that it reflects relevant policy  Read it back to yourself and ask "What would I think if I received this? How would I feel?" If your answers are less than positive you should re-write the letter - Finally, remember that positive things can arise from complaints  When a complaint is dealt with properly, it often makes the person who complained a much stronger ally than they were before the incident that gave rise to the complaint  A complaint often identifies a weakness in procedure and thus offers an opportunity to improve  Other suggestions  Using the right tone The very definition of a business letter is that it should use business English, which is formal or polite language Being polite means choosing the right tone or register Always have the reader in mind when you write The relationship you have with the recipient will generally set the tone you use when you write to them If you are not sure, it’s best to use a neutral tone It’s generally better to be more formal than informal if you cannot decide what tone to use Here are some examples of an informal, neutral and formal tone: Informal: I’m sorry I can’t help you Neutral: I am afraid I can’t help you Formal: I very much/deeply regret I cannot help you 30 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com Informal: I hope my idea is okay with you Neutral: I hope you agree to my suggestion Formal: I trust this proposal is acceptable to you Informal: Please this asap Neutral: Please take care of this as soon as possible Formal: I trust you will give this matter your urgent attention  Including Casual Greetings and Closings Your greeting at the beginning is very important Many English learners make the mistake of using the same informal greetings they use with friends, such as Hey or Hi Business letters should always reflect professionalism The best greeting is Dear followed by the person’s family name Common closings are Best regards or Sincerely, followed by a comma  Grammar mistakes should be concerned In the process of going from the informal to the formal, certain syntactic changes often take place: - Verbal style tends to become Nominal For example: I received -> I acknowledged receipt - Present tense change: For example: I'm referring -> I refer - Personal becomes Impersonal For example: I am reluctant to resort to such measures -> We are reluctant to resort to such measures - Active to passive voice transformation: For example: You haven't settle your bill yet -> Payment of your bill is still outstanding - Contractions are replaced by full forms: For example: I'll have to -> I shall have to 31 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com - Short, simple sentences become longer and more complex: For example: We are unable to make a reservation for you There is a heavy demand for this period -> We regret that due a heavy demand for this period we are unable to make a reservation for you  Improve your spelling Become familiar with English spelling rules Contrary to common perception, English spelling does often follow certain rules Becoming aware of these rules can help you avoid some common spelling errors in speaking as well as in writing Below are four of the most helpful Rule 1: i before e except after c, or when sounded like /ay/ as in neighbour or weigh - This simple rhyme helps explain the difference between the spellings of believe (i before e) and receive (except after c) In general, when the long /e/ sound (ee) is spelled with the letters i and e, the order is ie: shield, field, fiend Common exceptions are leisure, seizure, and weird - When the letters i and e are used in words with a long /a/ sound, they are usually spelled ei: sleigh, feint, heinous - When the sound is neither long /e/ nor long /a/, the spelling is usually ei: their, seismic, foreign Some exceptions to this rule are friend, sieve, and mischief Rule 2: When adding suffixes that begin with a vowel (-able, –ible, –ous, etc.) to words ending in silent e, drop the final e - This rule explains why a word like desire contains an e and a word like desirable does not Other examples include response → responsible, continue → continuous, argue → arguing - We do, however, retain the final e when a word ends in –ce or –ge in order to maintain the distinctive “soft” pronunciation of those consonants: notice → noticeable, courage → courageous, advantage → advantageous 32 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com - For reasons of pronunciation, the final e is also retained in words ending in a double e, e.g agree → agreeable, flee → fleeing Rule 3: When adding suffixes to words ending in y, change the y to an i - This rule explains the spelling shift that occurs in the following word pairs: happy → happier, plenty → plentiful, body → bodily - As English spelling does not generally allow an i to follow another i, the y is retained when the suffix itself begins with an i: carry → carrying, baby → babyish Rule 4: When adding suffixes, double the final consonant of a word only if any of the following conditions apply - The final consonant is preceded by a single vowel: bar → barred When there is more than one vowel before the final consonant, the consonant is not doubled: fail → failed When the final consonant is preceded by another consonant, the consonant is not doubled: bark → barking - The word has only one syllable or has the stress on the last syllable: fit → fitted, commit → committed, prefer → preferred For words with more than one syllable where the stress does not fall on the last syllable, the final consonant is not doubled: benefit → benefited, offer → offered - The suffix begins with a vowel: prefer → preferred But if the syllable stress changes because of the addition of the suffix, then the consonant is not doubled: prefer → preference Final consonants are also not doubled if the suffix begins with a consonant: prefer → preferment - If the word ends in l or p, then the consonant is usually doubled in Canadian spelling: travel → travelled; worship → worshipped Note: American spelling does not follow this rule  Proofread Proofreading is so important Once you have written your formal letter, check the grammar and spelling carefully Use the spell-checker on your computer and then read the letter over yourself as the spellchecker will not catch every 33 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com error. Usea dictionary or thesaurus, if necessary Check the grammar and punctuation for correctness and make sure the sentences are complete It is a good idea to have someone else proofread your formal letter, even after you have done so, as you may have overlooked errors in something that you have read over many times If this formal letter is important enough for you to take the time to write, don't rush its completion Errors will diminish the impact of the statement or impression you are trying to make CONCLUSION In general, this research has been carried out with the purpose of investigating some common mistakes made in business letters as well as giving out solutions for them Through some parts of this study, we understand that grammar plays an important role in writing English If you not use grammar properly in your text, it will cause a lot of mistakes and confusion for readers On the other hand, with good grammar, writers can also show their knowledge of writing skills Based on the data collected from the survey questionnaires and documents, it can be concluded that the rate of employees in Pullman Hanoi Hotel who made mistakes is rather high The results of this research reveal the fact that the 34 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com employees not really understand the right use of grammar That may be the reason why they cannot improve in writing In spite of the limit of knowledge, I have completed this study with the hope that other people can read, check, and know how to avoid those mistakes to have a successful business letter Any further comments and contributions for perfection of this paper are highly appreciated 35 LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com REFERENCES I would like to express my gratitude to the following sources for providing the very useful information materials so that I could complete this Graduation Thesis: Textbook of Commercial Correspondence Study of Jeyaseelan Gnanaseelan The Errors in the Use of Article in Business Letter Writing in English: A Case Study of theBusiness Management Students of Vavuniya Campus, Sri Lanka Luận văn tiến sĩ Phân tích diễn ngơn thư tín thương mại (trên ngữ liệu tiếng Anh tiếng Việt), 1996 http://web.hanu.vn/en/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=106 https://www.ukessays.com/essays/english-language/a-study-of-english-businessletter-writing-english-language-essay.php https://www.fluentu.com/blog/business-english/business-english- correspondence/ http://www.businessinsider.com/common-email-mistakes-professionals-make- 2014-7 https://englishsherpa.com/business-letters/ https://www.freelancewriting.com/business-writing/business-writing-mistakes/ 10 https://www.cebglobal.com/blogs/better-business-writing-avoid-the-mostcommon-mistakes/ vii LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com APPENDIX QUESTIONNAIRE Question Self- Assessment of English writing skills, basic grammar Please rate your abilities for each item below a scale from to Tick your choice 1=never or almost never true for me 4=usually true for me 2=usually not true for me 5=always or almost always true for me 3=somewhat true for me Expressions I can write a good business correspondence I am not sure with English grammar I have a good English grammar I often make mistakes in my writing and need for help I can identify the problem in my writing and see what should be improved Question Which term you usually use in Salutation Clauses? A Dear Sir/Madam B Dear Mrs + name viii LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com C Dear Ms + name D Dear Mr + name E Dear + name Question Which term you usually use in Complimentary Closes? A Yours sincerely B Yours Faithfully C Others Question In which style your letters are often written? A Formal Style B Semi-formal Style C Informal Style Question What kind of verbs are often used in your letters? A Modal verbs B Lexical verbs Question What kind of sentences you often use in your writing? A Complex sentences B Simple sentences ix LUAN VAN CHAT LUONG download : add luanvanchat@agmail.com ... Inquiry and Offer 2.7.2 Letters of changes and cancelation 2.7.3 Letters of complaint  Chapter shows data collected from Pullman Hanoi Hotel and Research Findings which are analyzed from the information. .. correspondence of the employees in Pullman Hanoi Hotel, I will analyze some of their writing I have collected 30 letters from Front Office Department and Sales Department of the hotel Firstly, all of their... letters to close guests of the hotel, we can understand that as it shows the relationship between the hotel and its customers Most of the problems are in terms of short and simple sentences 21 out