Astudy on wedding custom in vietnamese american culture = (nghiên cứu về phong tục đám cưới trong nền văn hóa việt mỹ)

Vinh University Foreign languages departments &-& A STUDY ON WEDDING CUSTOM IN VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CULTURE (NGHIÊN CỨU VỀ PHONG TỤC ĐÁM CƯỚI TRONG NỀN VĂN HÓA VIỆT- MỸ) GRADUATION THESIS Field: Vietnamese -American Culture Date of submission: 05 2012 Student : Phạm Thị Thu- K49B2 Instructor : Trần Ngọc Tưởng, MA VINH – 2012 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS For the completion of my study, I have been fortunate to receive invaluable contribution and helps from any people First and foremost, I would like to express my gratitude to my supervisor, Master of Arts, Tran ngoc Tuong for his great supports, guidance, excellent suggestions and encouragement helped me in all stages of doing this study The success of my study would be almost impossible without his great help and ideas My sincere thanks also go to all lectures in Vinh university, especially lectures in Foreign Languages Department for their teaching, instructions and their useful suggestions that have helped me so much to this study I would also like to extend my sincere thanks to my classmates from class 49B2-English for their reading of my draft as well as their invaluable suggestions and comments In addition, I can not fully express my warmest thanks to my dear family and my friends who were beside me all time, encouraged and help me so much in this study Finally, I am all too aware that despite all the advice and assistance, I feel that the project is far from perfect; it is, therefore, my sole responsibility for any inadequacies and shortcomings that the study may be considered to have Vinh, May, 2012 Pham Thi Thu i ABSTRACT We know that each country in the world has its own traditional custom because of different culture So, study about the multiple cultures is not easy People who like discovering traditions and customs of other countries find it difficult to concentrate on the whole matter at a same time However, study different customs of countries in the world is very interesting and useful, especially wedding custom study “Wedding customs” is an interesting topic It attracts much care of young people Each country has own way to organize wedding Vietnam and America also have too The process of wedding in Vietnam and America is different from each other So, this study aims to give you common knowledge about wedding customs in these two countries It is hoped that this study will help Vietnamese or American in common and the youth in particular distinguish the different feature in wedding customs between two cultures As a last year student of English department, the author really wants to find path to the American culture, especially the wedding customs In order to learn foreign language effectively, students had better understand that country’s people and their custom Therefore, in this study the author would like to describe Vietnamese and American wedding custom and make clearness on the similarities and differences between them In addition, this study will provide useful information and illustrations to help Vietnamese who are interested in the American culture or now are living there know how a wedding is organized And also help American people understand Vietnamese wedding traditions This study will also provide useful documents to teachers in universities so that they can use as a reference and teach their students about culture ii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……………………………………….……… i ABSTRACT…………………………………………………….……… ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ………… …………………………… iii PART I INTRODUCTION Justification of the Study…………………………………………….… Aims and Objectives of the Study……………………………………… Methods of the Study………………………………………………… .2 Scope of the Study……………………………………………………… Format of the Study………………………………………………… PART II DEVELPOPMENT CHAPTER THEORETICAL BACKGROUND Culture ………………………………………………………… … Cross – culture………… ……………………………………………… Custom…… …………………………………………………………….8 3.1 Vietnamese Custom.……….……………………………… …………9 3.1.1 Vietnamese wedding custom……………………………… …… 10 3.2 American custom………………………… …………………………12 3.2.1 American wedding custom………… ……… ………………… 12 CHAPTER SIMILARITIES BETWEEN VIETNAMESE AND AMERICAN WEDDING CUSTOM The two main steps of organizing wedding ceremony………………….14 Wedding Gifts………………………………………………………… 15 Superstitions on the wedding………………………………………… 16 Symbols of food on wedding day………………………………… .18 iii Other similarities …………………………………………………… 20 CHAPTER DIFFERENCES BETWEEN VIETNAMESE AND AMERICAN WEDDING CUSTOM Before wedding ceremony.…………………………………………… 22 1.1 In Vietnam.……………………………………………………………22 1.2 In America.……………………………………………………………26 On the wedding day…………………………………………………… 29 2.1 In Vietnam………………………………………………………… 30 2.2 In America…………………………………………………………….33 After the wedding ceremony ………………………………………….37 3.1 In Vietnam.……………………………………………………………37 3.2 In America ……………………………………………………………38 PART III CONCLUSION Recapitulation and Implication………………………………………….39 Suggestions for further study……………………………………………40 REFERENCES……………………………………………………………41 APPENDIX……………………………………………………………… 43 iv PART I INTRODUCTION Justification of the Study We know that culture plays an important role in the society Culture is the spiritual foundation of society, and is the target of the development It helps us to improve international understanding, socio-cultural awareness, professional communicative activities and so much So, it is very significant and essential to the development of the world’s culture and society Every country in the world has a rich and diversified culture in all aspects with many right, good and long-standing customs One of these customs is wedding custom Wedding is part of every culture throughout the world It is natural for a person to grow up, get married, and start a family Wedding in every nation is organized with many formal ritual observances and they are often different together, especially between Vietnam and America Vietnamese and American both have engagement and wedding ceremony in marriage However, each country has own ways to celebrate this custom So, study on wedding custom of these two countries will help us discovery to see the similarities as well as differences of two cultures and we can make a comparison between them, since then we can learn and enrich our culture In this study, the author would like to discovery and give the readers an overview about wedding custom of both countries, thus helping readers to understand and distinguish the difference between these two cultures Aims and Objectives of the Study In the author’s opinion, one of the effective ways to be good at learning a foreign language as a second language is exploring the culture of the -1- country which speaks in that language and comparing and contrasting it with our own country So, the author the research on the topic “ a study on wedding custom in Vietnamese and American culture” in order to provide those who are interested in Vietnamese and American wedding more understandings about the culture of each country dealing with wedding custom In addition, we can see that today there are many Vietnamese people as well as American people who tend and want to marry foreigners, so one more purpose of this study is to help them get knowledge and know clearly about how a Vietnamese or an American wedding is organized, so that they can avoid culture shocks when they leave their familiar culture to live in a new and different culture Doing this study, the author will answer some questions below: - What is custom and wedding custom? - What are similarities between Vietnamese and American wedding custom? - What are differences between Vietnamese wedding custom and that of American? Methods of the Study In this study, the author will use both qualitative and quantitative method * Qualitative research Firstly, the author will use qualitative research to analyze words, sentences and answer the questions why and how she does this research The most common form of this method is focus groups, interview and uninterrupted observations So, she will use these forms to get opinions, behavior and experience from people about wedding This method is very -2- helpful when she try to explore where to the research and how people may feel about her research * Quantitative research After using qualitative method the author will use quantitative method to quantify problem and analyze data For this method, she will use statistics to draw conclusion and results to answer the questions what, where, and when people organize the wedding Common types of this method are surveys and questionnaires So, she will use them to test students and draw conclusive results about omission error Both qualitative and quantitative Research are very useful and important to her study Scopes of the Study We know that analyzing and assessing customs in Vietnam and America are very sophisticated and not easy Due to the limitation of her time and experience, the author only concentrates on the study of wedding custom in these two countries which are much more popular and interesting The research focuses on similarities and differences between Vietnamese wedding custom and that of American Any research on the other aspects of culture would be beyond the scope of this research Format of the Study To help us have a general overview about her study, the author will divide it into following parts: Part I: introduction In this part, a general background of the study will be introduced with a brief account of relevant information about justification of the study, aims and objectives of the study, methods of the study, scopes of the study and format of the study Part II: Investigation With this part, the author will divide it into three following chapters : -3- Chapter 1: Theoretical background In this chapter, she would like to give us theoretical notions necessary for and relevant to the scopes of the study with some elements about wedding custom such as: definition of culture, cross-culture and custom, Vietnamese wedding custom and American wedding custom Chapter 2: Similarities between Vietnamese and American wedding custom To give details about wedding custom, in this chapter the author will show some similarities to organize wedding in Vietnam and America such as two main steps of organizing wedding ceremony, wedding gifts, superstitions on the wedding, symbols of food on wedding day and other similarities Chapter 3: differences between Vietnamese and American wedding custom This chapter will study more clearly about the way these two countries organize wedding with procedures as before wedding ceremony, on the wedding day and after the wedding ceremony Part III: conclusion To conclude this study, the author will give recapitulations, implications as well as strengths and weaknesses of the study and suggestions for further study Then she will give some References relevant to the study and appendix to consider -4- PART II INVESTIGATION CHAPTER THEORETICAL BACKGROUND Definition of culture Culture is a term that has many different inter-related meanings However, the word "culture" is most commonly used in three basic senses: - Excellence of taste in fine arts and humanities, also known as high culture - An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning - The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization, or group The concept of culture has different meanings with different people Robinson (1985) stated that the definition of “culture” comprises three elements: - Cultural products: literature, art, music, folklore, artifacts - Behaviors: customs, habits, clothes, foods, leisure - Ideas: belief, values, institutions (Cited from Tomalin, B and Stempleski, S 1993: 7) We can see the relationship between these three elements as follows: Products Ideals Culture Behaviors Chart 1: The relationship between three elements of culture (Cited from Tomalin, B and Stempleski, S 1993: 7) -5- It is now a practice in the United States to register their gifts In one way it is a good practice as the guests will know what the couples would need and there also would not be a repetition of gifts The couples also usually leave a thank you note to the guests who present them A thank you note is given to those who offer gifts and given after acceptance of the gift This should be sent within two weeks upon receipt of the gift Make a personalized thank you note, instead of using an impersonal generic thank you note This is completely different from Vietnamese wedding custom, In Vietnam, the young couple just invites their relatives and close friends and there is no requirement for gifts However, the etiquette of receiving and accepting the gifts from the couple’s guests show that American tends to live practically These are different practices to be followed during American weddings Whether couples choose to follow this way or whether they would want to organize in their own personalized manner is entirely up to their choice However, the couples vow to each other that they would always stay besides each other till death They believe a vow, for good or bad we need not part till death Differently, in Vietnam, most of engagement and wedding ceremony must be obeyed to the traditional manner The organization of the two main ceremonies in Vietnamese wedding depends on the young couple’s family decision Vietnamese does not believe in marriage vow but in the couple’s suitable destiny, if the couple’s ages and condition are matched each other, they are believed to have a happy life On the wedding day The wedding ceremony in Vietnam and America is held in different places and date - 29 - Wedding place Wedding date Vietnam America Groom’s house, hotel Church, chapel or or restaurant temple Chosen by the parents Chosen by themselves and based on the and based on their Chinese lunar practicality of the calendar and the wedding preparation astrological charts Table 5: Place and date of wedding ceremony in Vietnam and America 2.1 In Vietnam On the wedding day, everything in the bride’s and groom’s family is prepared already Organizing a wedding is very important for a couple because it is an event that happens once in their life So, they prepare carefully for the marriage ceremony The wedding ceremony can be held in their house or in hotel or restaurant If the wedding ceremony is organized in their house, one day before the ceremony, both families build a frame made from coconut leaves in front of their houses On the top of each frame, there is a small red board with these words in yellow: TÂN HÔN at the groom's house and VU QUY at the bride's house Traditional and modern symbols of marriage are often featured during Vietnamese marriage ceremonies such as decorations on the wedding umbrellas, lacquer gift boxes or even the decorations in the homes of both the bride and groom They usually include lanterns, doves, and initials of the couple, among other things However, one symbol that is indispensable is the words “song hỷ”, this phrase also appears as the character, which is reflective of Vietnam's influence by Chinese characters as well as the vernacular Nom script before the 20th century - 30 - While literacy in these scripts during feudalistic times was restricted mostly to scholars, officials and other members of the elite, characters such as these have always played an aesthetic role in important occasions such as weddings Traditionally, the couple must stay apart on the day before to avoid bad luck On the night before, the bride’s mother will tend her daughter’s hair with several combs Every comb means something, but the most important is the third comb - at that time she will ask for luck and happiness in new home Vietnamese wedding ceremony often consists of the following procedures: Asking permission and receiving the bride at her house Bringing the bride to groom’s house Wedding ceremony Chart 5: Wedding ceremony procedures in Vietnam (Source: Minh Duong - Nghi Le Hon Nhan, pp.80-81) On the big day, the bride’s family and invited guests assemble at her house to await the arrival of the bridegroom Shortly before the groom’s party is due, the bride slips away to put on her wedding dress The groom’s parents or immediate relatives are preceded by an odd number of young men smartly dressed in shirt and tie, and dark trousers Interestingly, in the past, the groom's mother might not take part in the procession as a sign that she - 31 - would not be a threat to the future bride; she would even "hide" for a short period upon the bride's welcoming to the groom's home However, this practice has long been abandoned The number of people participating in the groom's procession varies but is usually restricted to a smaller number (20 or so) to make it easier on the bride's family, which must receive all the guests The groom’s family introduces themselves and asks permission for their son to marry his bride A master of ceremonies (usually a respected person chosen from the bride’s relatives) instructs the bride’s parents to present their daughter The bride then enters The bride dresses in traditional Vietnamese wedding attire, essentially a formal red “ao dai” or red long dress The wedding dress is made of silk and fits over loose trousers Wedding dresses are generally made of many layers of rich material and can be red or pink An elaborate headdress called a “khan dong” adorns her head The groom wears traditional clothing in blue Gold silk thread often decorates both types of wedding clothing, creating the couple’s names, Chinese symbols or other images of love and beauty The groom will wear a dark suit or, more traditionally, black ao dai However, in America, the wedding dress is usually believed to have to be white or ivory, as this symbolizes purity This is a newer superstition because white was started to be worn as a wedding dress only during the Victorian age At that time, white was worn as an announcement of affluence because white dresses then will only be worn once A black wedding gown was considered taboo in the last decades, but recently, this is also becoming an option for brides Black flatters a woman's figure and skin tone, and this flattery is best needed during a bride's wedding day The wedding ceremony begins in front of the altar The bride and the groom kneel down and pray, asking their ancestors’ permission to be married and their blessing on their family-to-be The couple then turns - 32 - around and bows to the bride’s parents to thank them for raising and protecting her since birth They then bow their heads towards each other to show their gratitude and respect to their soon-to-be husband or wife The Master of Ceremonies then advises the wedding couple on starting a new family and the two sets of parents take turns to share their experiences and give blessings The groom and the bride then exchange wedding rings, and the parents give the newly wedded couple gold bracelets, earrings and other valuable gifts After the wedding, both two parties leave to join guests that were not invited to the marriage ceremony at a large banquet This is usually a large gathering, often in the hundreds and sometimes more The groom, bride, and their family are once again introduced to the guests and everyone drinks a toast Dinner or lunch is served at the table At one point during the reception, the bride and groom will go from table-to-table to thank guests for their blessings This ritual shows one of the most typical aspects of Vietnamese life style, which is community Most couples however leave a box at the sign-in table for guests to drop in their envelopes and cards, although this is frowned upon by older traditional conservatives On the contrary, on American wedding day, the guests are often expected to present the young couple the gifts which are useful for their life, typically household goods 2.2 In America Wedding day is often considered the most important day of people’s lives For this reason alone, throughout the past and into modern day, numerous customs and superstitions have developed around the wedding event, in hopes of creating “The Perfect Day!” American wedding often take place in Mid-spring to mid-fall and the most popular times of year for weddings with May and October being the - 33 - most popular months This ceremony usually takes place as a civil ceremony in a government building or religious ceremony such as church or another location, such as an outdoor venue Often a wedding venue is chosen because of its significance to the bride or groom It could be a church where one attended growing up, etc Or a parish church officiated by a favorite priest Some couples pick a place of worship because of its excellent artistic or historical attributes and the American wedding ceremony often can be held as follows: The bride's father takes her to the cathedral and gives to the groom The Priest asks the bride and groom to say their vows The bride and groom exchange rings and kiss Groom and bride cut the wedding cake and share to the guests Bride throws a bridal shower Chart 6: Wedding ceremony procedures in America (Source: United States Wedding Traditions from: http://worldweddingtraditions.com/locations/north_american_traditions) - 34 - The traditional ceremony itself is often conducted by a religious leader known to the bride and/or the groom The ceremony may include wedding vows written by the bride and the groom, in which they speak of their love and their desire to make their partner safe, happy and secure, and to be faithful to their partner and their partner alone for the rest of their lives In the ceremony, American brides usually wear a white, off-white, silver, or other very light-colored dress, particularly at their first marriage Brides may choose any color, although black is strongly discouraged by some as it is the color of mourning in the west Uncooked rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility Some individuals, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst Because of the mess that rice and birdseed make, modern couples often leave in clouds of bubbles The wedding party may form a receiving line at this point, or later at a wedding reception, so that each guest may briefly greet the entire wedding party At this time, drinks, snacks, or perhaps a full meal, especially at long receptions, are served while the guests and wedding party mingle Often, best men or maids of honor will toast newlyweds with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts Champagne is usually provided for this purpose In a symbolic cutting of the wedding cake, the couple may jointly hold a cake knife and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake, which they feed to each other In some sub-cultures, they may deliberately smear cake on each other's faces, which is considered vulgar elsewhere In the mid-twentieth century it became common for a bride to toss her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women during the reception The woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry In a similar process, her groom tosses the bride's garter to the unmarried men, followed by the man who caught the garter placing it on the - 35 - leg of the woman who caught the bouquet While still common in many circles, these practices (particularly the latter) are falling into less favor in the 21st century At the conclusion of the ceremony, it is traditional for the official to ask if anyone present knows of any just cause why this man and this woman may not be legally married Getting no response, the official asks the couple to exchange wedding rings, a symbol of their never-ending love and commitment to one another, and then the happy couple is pronounced, in front of family and friends (witnesses) to be husband and wife Traditionally the newlyweds kiss to seal their union After the wedding ceremony 3.1 In Vietnam After the wedding ceremony both American and Vietnamese wedding parties leave to join guests at a wedding reception Vietnamese receptions are usually a large gathering, often in the hundreds and sometimes more The groom, bride, and their family are once again introduced to the guests and invite everyone to enjoy the dishes Dinner or lunch is served at the table, and there are at least five dishes and dessert In contrast, American receptions can be a very simple one with only a few family member and close friends present or can be very elaborate with hundreds people in attendance So, it can be with as simple as cookies and bunch in the church or as a large as a sit down dinner held on at a local hotel with a daises and private orchestra following dinner After wedding, Vietnamese young couple often doesn’t have honeymoon, they go to their wedding room, drink a glass of wine together At this time, they are officially become husband and wife Then the bride changes her dress and helps groom family to something - 36 - The day after in the morning the new husband and wife visit the bride’s family They bring biscuits, sweets, chickens, sticky rice, etc because bride’s family will use these foods to cook meal for all family to eat together Newly wed couple (now husband and wife) prays their ancestor If the groom’s house and the bride’s house are far from each other, the young couple can visit their parents - in - law in some days later 3.2 In America After the wedding day, groom and bride will have a honeymoon A honeymoon is very important to the couple and it may last from several days to two or more weeks Many superstitions also exist for right after the wedding to start the marriage off right The new couple should borrow a coffee pot for the first three months, then purchase one together A new broom and frying pan is needed to start the couple off on a road to happiness, never start off a marriage with these two items old, or already used The bride should cook her new husband and herself their first meal; it should not be eaten at a restaurant or an in-laws house Never sell the wedding dress It can be borrowed out, or even given away, but never let money be received for the dress or the marriage will come to a quick end - 37 - PART III CONCLUSION Recapitulation and Implication Wedding is considered as an important event of one’s life, it is a happy, joyous occasion involving a number of people Wedding is based on love when two people decide to belong to each other There are many unique weddings all over the world In this study, the author has just shown the differences and similarities between the wedding custom of Vietnam and America Both Vietnamese and American wedding days are a happy time and celebration time as two newlyweds unites together into a blessed repression of love and life Wedding in these two countries have similarities in the two main steps of organizing wedding ceremony, beliefs in good luck, and symbols of food on wedding day In contrast, they are different in the way to celebrate their wedding In the accordance with that, the research reveals the features of Vietnamese wedding and American one Hopefully, the research helps the learners of English find out the effective way or the shortcut to approach to different cultures of different countries in the world, not only of Vietnam and America and to learn English as well The result of this study can be used as guidelines for students and anyone want to discovery about wedding custom when learning culture as well as teachers can use this to check quality of students' cultural understanding In addition, it also helps interested people be aware of cross cultural problems since there are differences between the cultures in the world However, there are some limitations in the author’s study that may affect the final results Because of the limited time of the study and broad scopes it is concerned with, issues mentioned are still somewhat general This does not cause any bias but to some extent it may not be very diverse So the author thinks that she should try better from this study - 38 - Suggestions for further studies We know that, Vietnam will integrate into the world economy and culture in the future So, cultural study play a very important role in this progress because it help us introduce everyone about our culture, avoid culture shocks when we meet different cultures in the world, especially when we go abroad and want to integrate into their culture Thus, more studies should be carried out to identify and cope with problems in these situations These studies are supposed to bring readers an overview of the contemporary situation of Vietnamese culture such as wedding, birthday, funeral or ancestor worship culture, etc , its strengths, limitations and how to improve it From then, they can compare with other cultures in the world There are many details associated with actual ceremonies and numerous checklists that have been developed Many books are also written that discuss more details to aid in setting up a wedding ceremony Don't forget that most encyclopedias also provide a variety of information and references for further study in this area To study more about the culture, the author would like to suggest some other topics for further study as follow: - A study on similarities and differences in opening and closing in Vietnamese and American conversation - A study on similarities and differences in praise of Vietnamese and American In conclusion, the author would like to significantly contribute to the study of Vietnamese - American culture in universities and on the media through this study In her opinion, it can be considered as a companion of all people who are seeking to discovery about cross- culture as well as improve their cultural learning The author hopes that from this study, the readers can find it useful and necessary to their future work, study or at least see it as a reference worth looking a more effective study - 39 - REFERENCES Bach, Ngo (2010) Nghi lễ dân gian điều kiêng kỵ, (pp.85-86) Thoi Dai Publishing House Cao, Hoang, M Nguyen, Phung, T Nguyen (2005) An introduction to American Studies, (p 64) English Department, VNUCFL Duong, Minh (2010) Nghi lễ Hôn Nhân, (pp 80-81) Thoi Dai Publishing House Hofstede, G (1994) Cultures and organizations: software of the mind: Intercultural London, HarperCollins Hornby, A.S (2003) Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary Oxford University Press Life123, Inc (2007, April 19) Vietnamese wedding Retrieved April 24th, 2012, from http://www.life123.com/relationships/weddings/weddingcustoms traditions/what-are-vietnamese-wedding-traditions.shtml Lung, Dang V & Thao, Nguyen S (1999) Phong tục tập quán dân tộc Việt Nam Hanoi Publishing House Neubert, A & Shreve, G M (1992) Translation as text, (p.415) Kent, Ohio & London, England: The Kent State University Press Oliveri, Den (2008, May 19) American Wedding Custom Retrieved April, 25th, 2012, from http://weddingplanning.suite101.com/article.cfm/americanweddingcustoms Robinson, G.L.N (1985) Cross Cultural understanding In Tomalin, B & Stempleski, S (1993) Cultural Awareness Oxford: Oxford University Press Quang, Nguyen (2002) Giao tiếp giao tiếp giao văn hóa, (p.77) National University Publishing House Spencer-Oatey, H (2000) Culturally speaking: Managing rapport through talk across cultures New York: Cassel - 40 - Thin, Truong (2010) Những điều cần biết nghi lễ hôn nhân người Việt, (p.63) Thoi Dai Publishing House Travour (2005, August 20) American wedding tradition Retrieved April, 24th, 2012, from: http://www.travour.com/weddings/world- weddingtraditions/american-wedding-traditions.html Vietnamese Dictionary (1997: 467-742) DaNang Publishing House Websites: http://www.vietnam-culture.com/vietnamese-engagement-ceremony.aspx http://www.vietnam-culture.com/articles-100-29/vietnamese-and-westernWedding-ceremonies.aspx http://www.elitedresses.com/American_Wedding_Customs_s/63.htm http://www.syl.com/articles/americanweddingtraditions.html http://www.weddingsavingsplan.com/american-wedding-lives-out.html - 41 - APPENDIX Tick these boxes with the sentence you think are belong to Vietnamese (V) or American (A) wedding custom: Guests often send wedding gifts before the wedding day Guests often give wedding gifts in the form of money in an envelope Knives and other sharp and pointed objects are said to be a bad choice for wedding gifts It is considered good luck to have the wedding carriage drawn by gray horses Weddings cakes are often featured by “phu thê”, “su sê” cakes Wedding cakes are often Fruit cake, chocolate cake or fondant cake It is considered a bad luck for a bride to meet a pig on the way to her wedding ceremony The wedding date is generally chosen by the parents of the bride and groom The wedding date is generally chosen by bride and groom based on their preparation 10 Some of engagement gifts are returned to the groom’s family for luck before they leave 11 The bride's family pays for engagement ceremony expenses, and the groom's family pays for the wedding ceremony 12 Most of the wedding preparations would form a bridal shower 13 One symbol that is indispensable in wedding ceremony is the word “song hỷ” 14 People often throw rice at weddings to wish fertility, prosperity, and long lasting happiness for the newly married couple 15 Weddings are traditionally held in places of worship - 42 - The answer key: A V V A V A V V A 10 V 11 V 12 A 13 V 14 A 15 A - 43 - ... about wedding custom such as: definition of culture, cross -culture and custom, Vietnamese wedding custom and American wedding custom Chapter 2: Similarities between Vietnamese and American wedding. .. their wedding ceremony done in churches which is very much similar to American style, including exchanging vows and wedding rings However, wedding still maintains Vietnamese traditional ceremony in. .. research on the topic “ a study on wedding custom in Vietnamese and American culture? ?? in order to provide those who are interested in Vietnamese and American wedding more understandings about the culture