Phụ nữ việt nam trong mối quan hệ tình cảm đa văn hoá gắn kết và thay đổi căn tính việt nam

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES FACULTY OF LINGUISTICS AND CULTURE OF ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRIES GRADUATION PAPER VIETNAMESE WOMEN IN ROMANTIC INTERCULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS: VIETNAMESE IDENTITY AFFILIATION AND NEGOTIATION Supervisor: NGUYỄN THANH HÀ Student: NGUYỄN QUỲNH TRANG Course: QH2015.F1.E1 HÀ NỘI – 2019 ĐẠI HỌC QUỐC GIA HÀ NỘI TRƯỜNG ĐẠI HỌC NGOẠI NGỮ KHOA NGÔN NGỮ VÀ VĂN HỐ CÁC NƯỚC NĨI TIẾNG ANH KHĨA LUẬN TỐT NGHIỆP PHỤ NỮ VIỆT NAM TRONG MỐI QUAN HỆ TÌNH CẢM ĐA VĂN HỐ: GẮN KẾT VÀ THAY ĐỔI CĂN TÍNH VIỆT NAM Giáo viên hướng dẫn: NGUYỄN THANH HÀ Sinh viên: NGUYỄN QUỲNH TRANG Khóa: QH2015.F1.E1 HÀ NỘI – 2019 I hereby state that I: Nguyen Quynh Trang, class QH2015.F1.E1, being a candidate for the degree of Bachelor of Arts in English Language Teacher Education accept the requirements of the College relating to the retention and use of Bachelor’s Graduation Paper deposited in the library In terms of these conditions, I agree that the origin of my paper deposited in the library should be accessible for the purposes of study and research, in accordance with the normal conditions established by the librarian for the care, loan or reproduction of the paper Signature Hanoi, May 5th, 2019 ABSTRACT Globalization and increasing mobility of Vietnamese in recent decades have resulted in a growing number of Vietnamese women engaging in romantic intercultural relationships Their intercultural interactions within such intimate relationships might to some extent influence their sense of being Vietnamese This qualitative study, thus, utilized identity narrative inquiry to explore how three Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships have affiliated with and negotiated their Vietnamese identities Participants that are diverse in age, length of relationships, and nationality of partner were recruited through my personal connections Data was collected in in-depth interviews and analyzed based on thematic coding Participants described different degrees of connection to their Vietnamese values such as family values, the notion of women as homemakers, the notion of women as jealous and controlling, sexual modesty, and protection of Vietnamese identity Their processes of identity negotiation have been characterized by their acculturation (adoption of new values) and/or transformation (redefinition of their existing beliefs) During their intercultural couplehood, the women have learned new food and eating habits, cultural traditions and practices, English language while negotiating their ideas of gender roles, and directness On the one hand, the stories consolidate the theory of identity and difference as well as identity as multiple and dynamic On the other hand, they suggest that a strong sense of Vietnamese identity is a core in each of these women’s identity It serves as a foundation on which the Vietnamese women have constantly referred back to to make sense of the new ideas and values The study also raises implications for further research into the strategic role of romantic relationship during emerging adulthood in a person’ identity formation i ACKNOWLEDGEMENT I would like to extend my respect and utmost gratitude towards my supervisor, Nguyen Thanh Ha for her dedication to this research From the very beginning, her enthusiastic guidance has helped shape my thesis and directed me on the right path Thanks to her brilliant recommendations, great eye for details, and constructive criticism on the earlier versions of this study, I was able to strive towards my full potential During the last eight months, the complexity of the topic sometimes left me clueless and discouraged, but her warm encouragement and great trust in me has been my biggest motivation to keep on trying and complete this thesis I am also grateful for the participation of three delightful women whose name remain confidential Without their genuine sharing of such intimate topics as romantic relationships, this study could not have been a success On a personal level, their unique stories have enabled me to better understand the challenges and dynamics of intercultural love, as well as led me to more appreciate and embrace my identity as a Vietnamese woman Lastly, I would like to thank my friends and family for their emotional and academic support The meaningful discussions I have with them not only give me hope but also raise implications which have been useful in this research, and in every other aspect of life ii TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT i ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ii CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 1.1 Statement of research problems and questions 1.2 Scope of the study 1.3 Significance of the study CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW 2.1 Intercultural relationship 2.1.1 Food and drink 2.1.2 Language 2.1.3 Extended family and friends 2.1.4 Religion 2.1.5 Place of residence 2.1.6 Intimacy 2.1.7 Gender roles 2.1.8 Issue of power 2.1.9 Conflicts 2.2 Identity 2.2.1 Identity and difference 2.2.2 Identity is dynamic and multiple 2.2.3 Identity and mobility 10 2.2.4 Identity as national/ cultural identity - Vietnamese perspective 10 2.2.5 Identity and an intercultural romantic relationship 12 2.2.5.1 Identity status framework 12 2.2.5.2 Relational identity theory 12 2.2.5.3 Identity Negotiation theory 13 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY 14 3.1 Participants 14 3.2 Data collection 15 3.3 Data analysis 15 iii CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS 17 4.1 Portraits 17 4.2 Research question 1: To what extent have Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships affiliated with their Vietnamese identity? 21 4.2.1 Family values 21 4.2.2 Women as homemakers 24 4.2.3 Women as jealous and controlling 26 4.2.4 Sexual modesty 26 4.2.5 Protection of Vietnamese identity 27 4.3 Research questions 2: To what extent have Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships negotiated their Vietnamese identity? 28 4.3.1 Acculturation 28 4.3.1.1 Food and eating habits 28 4.3.1.2 Cultural traditions and practices 29 4.3.1.3 Language learning 30 4.3.2 Transformation 30 4.3.2.1 Avoidant to Direct 31 4.3.2.2 Traditional to Feminist 31 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION 35 5.1 The role of Vietnamese identity in a woman’s identity construction 35 5.2 The role of a romantic relationship during young adulthood in a person’s identity construction 36 5.3 Personal conflicts above cultural differences 37 CHAPTER 6: CONCLUSION 38 REFERENCES 40 APPENDIX 43 iv CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 1.1 Statement of research problems and questions In this era of globalization, there has been an unprecedented number of people moving across national and cultural borders to live, study, work and establish new relationships Reflecting global trends, a growing number of Vietnamese are also migrating for various purposes such as study, employment opportunities, and marriages The increasing number of Vietnamese traveling to foreign countries is proven by the number of visas issued for Vietnamese citizens Statistics from the US Department of Immigration show that US visa grants for Vietnam nearly doubled during 2010-2014, far exceeding other countries in the region (Vietnam Migration Profile, 2016) Countries such as Japan, New Zealand, Australia, Canada have been home to more and more Vietnamese students over the last decade Besides immigration, following the newly introduced open economic policies, Vietnam has welcomed a number of immigrants, which has led to a growing number of intercultural relationships and marriages (Jones and Shen, 2008) In 2016, 16,233 cases of Vietnamese nationals marrying foreigners were recorded, with the vast majority (85%) involving Vietnamese women Vietnamese tend to marry nationals from far away land such as the US, Canada, Republic of Korea, Australia rather than neighboring countries like Cambodia or Laos (Vietnam Migration Profile, 2016) While any human relationship is intricate, the complexity of an intercultural relationship is further magnified as each partner brings a variety of experiences, many of which are cultural into their relationship (Baldwin et al., 2013) The experiences in terms of different beliefs, morals, values, patterns of communication and so on reflect each partner’s cultural identity, which is defined by the sense of belonging to a group that has a common system of symbols, meanings, norms and rules for conduct (Collier & Thomas, 1988, as cited in Low, 2011) In this study specifically, a Vietnamese woman’s exposure to her partner’s distinct cultural identity to some extent influences how she constructs her own cultural identity as individuals construct their sense of self through interaction with others The implication of this has aroused my interest to study intercultural romantic relationships as a catalyst for Vietnamese women’s cultural identity formation process As research about intercultural relationships is an area of growing interest (Baldwin et al., 2013), there have been numerous studies on intercultural couples and marriages Henriksen (2007) compiled a Multiple Heritage Couple questionnaire to aid with intercultural couples counseling and therapies Ho (1990) and Romano (2008) conducted several studies with couples from different cultures with a focus on conflicts management and resolution strategies Other works by Ting-Toomey (2005) or Spreckels & Kotthoff (2007, as cited in Low, 2011) look at identity negotiation process in general intercultural communication Realizing that there is limited literature on a Vietnamese woman engaging in intercultural couplehood, and specifically the process of her cultural identity formation, I aspire to carry out this research to shed light on how a Vietnamese woman has affiliated and negotiated her Vietnamese-ness within her romantic intercultural relationship This motivation grew stronger when I also found myself in close contact with partners of various cultures During our short couplehood, on the one hand, I recognized some distinct layers of my Vietnamese identity that had been subtle to me the whole time before For example, my habit of drinking coffee with condensed milk only became a salient Vietnamese trait when my Dutch boyfriend pointed out for me The fact that despite my fluent English, I struggled to find the equivalent of and thương to say how much I loved him made me realize the expressive power of my mother tongue, Vietnamese All those little events in our relationship have developed a stronger sense of who I am as a Vietnamese and led me to embrace my Vietnamese-ness more On the other hand, influenced by the Dutch directness, I have found myself becoming much more straightforward in handling conflicts, which is not considered a resolution strategy typical of Vietnamese people Having female friends and family members in a long-term relationship and eventually a marriage with a foreigner, I am further intrigued by the question of whether they have experienced the same phenomenon as I have, and more importantly, how it develops as the relationship grows I am particularly interested in listening to their unique stories about how being in romantic intercultural relationships might contribute to their Vietnamese identity construction For the aforementioned reasons, I find it necessary to conduct a focused research on how Vietnamese women engaged in romantic intercultural relationships have affiliated and negotiated their own sense of being Vietnamese Therefore, the research problem of this study is: Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships: Vietnamese identity affiliation and negotiation To understand the complicated nature of Vietnamese identity in romantic intercultural relationships, this study will be guided by these following questions: Research question 1: To what extent have Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships affiliated with their Vietnamese identity? Research question 2: To what extent have Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships negotiated their Vietnamese identity? 1.2 Scope of the study This study is restricted to exploring identity affiliation and negotiation of three Vietnamese women engaging in romantic intercultural relationships While I acknowledge that an individual’s identity is complex and multiple, within the constraint of time of this bachelor graduation thesis, I would only focus on Vietnamese identity The sample is chosen for these specific purposes: (1) according to Vietnam Migration Profile (2016), Vietnamese women have outnumbered their male counterparts in marriages with foreigners over the last decade; (2) it aligns with my personal experiences and interest from a female perspective; (3) as the study employs a narrative approach requiring individuals’ 4.3.1.2 Cultural traditions and practices Apart from food and eating habits, the women have learned about the values and traditions of the other countries They have also exhibited Western lifestyles that they consider unpopular with their Vietnamese peers, such as clubbing, hanging out at bars and pubs, solo traveling, and so on On looking back on her time in Hanoi, Linh said she did not hang out much, or never traveled to the trendy tourist area of the Old Quarter Now in Budapest, however, she loves nights out, and frequently visits local pubs, bars, and jazz clubs to dance and smoke a pot To Linh, Andy has also been a gate through which she could not only gain a deeper understanding of the host society but also well integrated into natives’ lives: There is this Name day which only Hungarians celebrate I also gave him a gift Thanks to him, I know places that only Hungarians know I understand more about how Hungarians are, their cultures, etc [ ] Like, they drink a lot Or beautiful hidden places that tourists never get to visit Or Hungarians don’t celebrate Thanksgiving For Easter, they eat meat and eggs On St Nicholas day, you have chocolates Their Christmas is like our Lunar New Year If I were just studying here as an international student, I would never be invited to their Christmas party Phuong refers to her boyfriend as a typical Brit, in the sense that he is “posh”, and loves “expensive and fancy things” As he is a musician, Phuong often visits late night music clubs to chill, or sometimes support her boyfriend’s performances, which she had never done before prior to dating him When she is with her Vietnamese friends, she goes back to the common hang-out places like cafes, milk tea, or street iced tea stalls Mai is probably the woman with the most uncommon practices She has read English classic novels, and drunk black coffee without milk since she was in her young adulthood In her time, she said, she was the only girl with that kind of likings Living in Canada, and being in her marriage has given Mai the opportunities to follow her hobbies that would have been difficult in Vietnam: 29 Back in my time, people were judgemental of me drinking espresso, or reading classic novels Here nobody cares what you In Vancouver, I could go hiking easily because the mountains are at my door; or traveling alone without people asking where my husband is 4.3.1.3 Language learning Expressing oneself in a second language is already challenging, let alone having to talk about feelings and emotions In this study, two women’s partners are native English speakers while the other is not, but very proficient in English Although all three participants speak fluent English, they still report that sometimes, the language barrier might be straining when they have conflicts or misunderstandings Most of the times, however, the participants see it as an opportunity to learn how to communicate more effectively in English: If we fight in Vietnamese, I would 100% win But when you’re angry, you can’t think fast enough, and run out of vocabulary, or make some stupid grammatical mistakes It is so embarrassing (Linh) Sometimes the way I speak is not natural He finds it funny when I say “I invite you to my party” instead of “You are invited to my party” (Mai) But I enjoyed it He teaches me how to speak English better, and more native-like! I even got an accent from him! (Phuong) The frequency of using English in their relationship seems to have undermined the role of Vietnamese language in their communication, which was reflected in their struggle to explain some concepts in Vietnamese to me and their eventual resorting to English during the interviews They also stated a preference in using English over their mother tongue in certain situations: I find it much easier to say I love you or sweet cheesy things in English than Vietnamese I could not imagine me saying “Em yêu anh” (I love you) to any guy So awkward 4.3.2 Transformation Apart from adopting the other culture’s values and practices, the process of identity negotiation has also been characterized by the participants’ modification and redefinition of their existing ideologies Due to the complex nature of identity 30 and human relationship, it is worthwhile to note that the transformation might not be attributed only to the relationship itself, but also other factors As suggested in the participants’ portraits, Mai reported little changes while Phuong and Linh have made noticeable negotiations within their relationship Therefore, the themes presented in this chapter will mostly deal with Phuong and Linh’s process of identity negotiation 4.3.2.1 Avoidant to Direct Influenced by her parents’ opinions and the Vietnamese collectivistic society’ ideologies, Phuong was very conscious of what people think of her because her actions would “speak for not only herself but also her family” She also tended to compromise even though she did not want to for the sake of not offending other people In handling conflicts, her predominant strategy was avoidance, meaning that she would prefer not to talk about them Whenever they have a fight, Phuong will often shut Joe down until her frustration fades, and everything will go back to its first place Joe, however, always confronts her, and expects both of them to open up and talk until they resolve the tension Eventually, Phuong has taken to Joe’s style of conflict resolution, and she reported a change in herself from an indirect, easily compromised person to a straightforward and transparent person Before, like us Vietnamese, I often bite the bullet to avoid conflicts Most of the times, even if I felt upset about trivial matters, I would not say it out loud so that people would not be offended, whether it’s at work or at school In this relationship too, I would not tell him even if I was upset But Joe is different He always calls, confronts, and expects an immediate talk! It was annoying at first […] Seeing that Joe always talks everything out and says whatever is going on in his mind, I start to become much more direct and transparent about my thoughts I have also become more sincere, and honest, which felt great! 4.3.2.2 Traditional to Feminist Linh, influenced by her mom and relatives’ ideologies, grew up believing that she would become a teacher like her aunts, uncles because that is supposedly the ideal job for women in Vietnamese culture: Yeah, I can become a teacher And in Vietnam, we have the notion that being a teacher will easily land you a husband! I don’t know where it comes 31 from and if it’s changed Probably still around! So virtuous! Teachers are like prime candidates for marrying rich husbands hahaha I used to think I would be a teacher, marry a guy, then come home to cook some food, clean the house, give my husband massage haha When she moved to Hungary, in interaction with culturally different others, as she said, “inspirational people”, she has been enlightened that she has greater potential than she thought She no longer believes that a woman’s life “should orbit around her husband, her kids, cooking, cleaning, and household chores as such” She also notes that Vietnamese women should adopt their Western sisters’ mentality that women “need to go out there, have a job, live a rich spiritual life with diverse social connections, and essentially, a hobby” Her relationship with Andy also contributed to this change in her perspective on women’s roles When they started seeing each other, Andy wanted to break up because “she was taking too much of the time he could have spent on improving himself” Reflecting on this incident, Linh was upset at her craving too much for his love and attention It dawned on her that she needed to have other interests or hobbies, so her happiness would not solely revolve around her man: When my boyfriend told me he needed his me time, I was mad How dared him? I should be the one who has a life, who is busy So I have to improve myself so he is the one that needs to try squeezing in my schedule [ ] A woman can’t just stay at home waiting for her men If he does not want to hang out, go find some other friends! Or when he says he is busy, know that your man is a man of ambitions, so you should also be the same kind of person! In the process of negotiating with her existing values, a new salient identity has emerged: feminist identity Linh advocates for women’s independence and self-determination in life She argues that it is necessary that a woman should have her own career, as a “prerequisite for her power” in a relationship She told me that “You have to be financially strong first before becoming politically powerful” 32 She also mentioned that jealous women are “stupid” because they “base their happiness on the actions of men” A woman should learn to be smart and confident enough to know her own values, and strong and brave enough to walk out of a relationship when her man cheats on her: […] And to guys who decide to leave us, you’d better say goodbye to them A woman should have charisma Sometimes you gotta be a heroine Like, if he dumps you, go ahead, find some better guy! She expressed her disapproval of women who complain about being single because it showed that “they have no ability or put no effort into improving themselves” She believes that instead of whining about not having a man by their side, perhaps it is better to enrich their life because women’s life, again, “can still be wonderful with friends, a social network, a fulfilling career, but not necessarily a man” Linh’s changing ideologies about women’s self values and moving beyond traditional Vietnamese gender roles have aligned with the feminist identification hypothesis proposed by Downing and Roush (1985) She is presumably in Stage IV of feminist identity formation- Synthesis, which suggests that a woman increasingly value the positive traits of being a female, and transcend the traditional gender roles to make choices for herself She is approaching Stage VActive commitment, which is described as translating the new identity into meaningful and effective actions: I keep saying these things to inspire myself and other women around me [ ] I need to remind us that we have our own values, each of us Men are not the center of the universe that you have to orbit around them [ ] I’m not smart, but I am always listening to comments to better myself Everyday I reflect upon today and try to improve by tomorrow Mai shows her independence in her marriage by comparing her with other Vietnamese female friends and herself while still in her marriage with ex Vietnamese husband In her current marriage, wife and husband exercise full independence and respect for the privacy of each other’s personal space She 33 would go out without having to ask for her husband’s permissions Both of them respect each other’s privacy, i.e mobile phones, and would not suddenly initiate physical interaction without the other person’s awareness: What is particularly different from being with a Viet and a foreign husband is that you not need to ask for permissions from a foreign one Here I hang out with Vietnamese female friends, and they would ask things like: “Did you ask him? What is he going to eat?” - “Well, I don’t know He could take care of himself.” [ ] Even though we are husband and wife, unlike Vietnamese couples, we are still very independent Like, we could not touch each other’s phone without permission Or, there is nothing as I am your husband/wife, so I could touch you whenever I can Of course, we are intimate, but if I suddenly touch him, he would be annoyed It should be noted that the pattern of changes in her behaviors might be different from the other two women While the intercultural relationship has challenged Linh and Phuong to negotiate their existing values, it seems to have given Mai the opportunity to exhibit the values she might have retained from her past experiences prior to the marriage 34 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION 5.1 The role of Vietnamese identity in a woman’s identity construction Vietnamese identity appears dominant in the participants’ processes of identity construction within the domain of an intercultural relationship As discussed earlier, due to exposure to different Western values and cultural practices of their foreign significant others, the Vietnamese women have undergone certain changes in both their ideologies and behaviors Those sometimes steer them away from the Vietnamese traditions, but more often, lead them to be more aware of what it means to be a Vietnamese woman The reinforcement of Vietnamese identity is highlighted in their strong conclusion, a non-hesitant answer to my question “Do you think you are Vietnamese?”: I am very much Vietnamese It does not matter where I go or what I I will always be a Vietnamese (Linh) Yes! I am very Vietnamese (Phuong) Yeah I think if you were born and raised in Vietnam for like, 20 years, you will always be a Vietnamese (Mai) While the women have adopted some of the different characteristics and developed new identities, above all, the sense of being Vietnamese still influences their processes of identity negotiation and construction Their Vietnamese identities serve as core values for them to rely on to compare and negotiate new ideas and practices The participants have made constant references back to Vietnamese values by verbal cues such as “we Vietnamese, in Vietnam, us” in all three interviews Beneath the new identities they have recently embraced lies a more deep-rooted sense of being a Vietnamese woman Linh and Mai, for example, advocate women’s freedom and feminism, yet happily take up household duties Phuong is getting more direct and straightforward, yet still fairly concerned about offending people I would like to argue that those constant references, and the cohabitation of existing ideologies and newly emerged perspectives suggest that at heart of a Vietnamese woman is an established Vietnamese identity around which new identities revolve 35 This observation aligns with literature by influential Vietnamese scholars that Vietnamese identity is a big umbrella under which individuals are supposed to think and behave in accordance with That also means Vietnamese identity strongly and closely influences people and often takes precedence over other identities (Phan, 1998 and Tran, 2000) On the one hand, this study confirms that identity is dynamic, multiple and changing, proven by the adoption of new identities by participants On the other hand, it strongly supports the argument of an established Vietnamese identity as the core and the root of a Vietnamese woman 5.2 The role of a romantic relationship during young adulthood in a person’s identity construction What I found particularly interesting and might want to investigate further is the difference in the timing of the relationship with regard to its position in their lifetime Among the three participants, Linh and Phuong share similar demographic that they are both unmarried and in their early 20s The relationship with their boyfriend now is also their first serious romantic relationship However, Mai engages in her marriage much later in her life after a divorce with her ex Vietnamese husband During the interview, the two young women have mentioned numerous incidents where they encountered differences and subsequently modified their ideologies and practices Mai seems to have not undergone any significant influences during her intercultural relationship Instead, she yielded a particularly interesting conclusion about her identity construction: I think the majority of a person’s characteristics are defined in her first 15 years The culture she is living in and its stereotypes will all influence the process of how one makes a decision It might fade away or be negotiated to adjust to the new environment Or to put it differently, they are only refined, but not changed Her thoughts have raised a hypothesis that the relationship a woman engages in during her young adulthood period is strategic in developing her identity That might explain why those two women have observed more noticeable changes or 36 emerging characteristics in themselves The view that romantic relationship in people’s twenties is particularly important in their identity formation has been also supported by Laughland-Booÿ et al (2018) They argue that romantic relationship in people’ twenties can play a particularly important role in their identity formation During adolescence and emerging adulthood, young people actively establish a coherent sense of self The choices they have made or the ideas they have formed during this early stage might remain dominant in their perspectives and behaviors later in life 5.3 Personal conflicts above cultural differences Unlike my expectations prior to carrying out the interviews that being in an intercultural relationship will require the Vietnamese woman to negotiate, construct and reconstruct her Vietnamese values to handle the conflicts which might arise from cultural differences, in this case, specifically, the conflicts are mostly at an individual level When asked about common arguments between the couple, Linh listed numerous things she did not like about Andy, such as his “impatience”, tendency to “exaggerate problems”, his “frugality”, and his “ignorance to arts”, his “little interest in nightlife entertainment” such as jazz concerts and dance clubs She did not attribute these to cultural differences, but rather to their “conflicting personalities”, to their “big age gap (13 years)”, and “his parents’ early divorce which led to his improperly educated about manners” Similarly, Phuong and Mai also expressed their disapproval of their partners’ “idleness, hot temper” or “messiness” as personal traits that have no direct relation to their cultures Although unexpected, this finding is understandable because as people develop a relationship as intimate as spouses or lovers with someone, they move from seeing them as group members to individuals (Baldwin et al., 2013) The three-axe model by William Gudykunst and Tae-Sop Lim (1986, as cited in Baldwin et al., 2013) explains this relationship as low in intergroup communication and high in interpersonal communication 37 CHAPTER 6: CONCLUSION An identity narrative approach has granted me privileged insights into the experiences of Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships In this study, I have carried out in-depth interviews and analyzed the narratives of three Vietnamese women to understand how they have affiliated with their Vietnamese identity and the process of their identity negotiation within the sphere of their relationships Guided by theories related to identity formation and the definitions given by participants themselves, I have been able to answer two proposed research questions First, I identified the emerging themes in Vietnamese identity that the participants have affiliated with The Vietnamese traits that they connect with are (1) family values ; (2) notion of women as the homemakers ; (3) notion of women as jealous and controlling ; (4) sexual modesty; and (5) protection of virtuous women identity Second, I explored that the processes of their identity negotiation have been characterized by (1) acculturation (adopting new ideas and practices) and (2) transformation (redefining their existing beliefs) During their intercultural relationships, the women have learned new food and eating habits, cultural traditions, and English language while modifying their ideas of gender roles, and collectivism practices Initially, I started my research with a question of whether a Vietnamese identity exists within each participant From the three interviewees whose stories I have listened to, it was surprising, yet heartwarming and proud that regardless of the foreign influences they have been exposed to, and the negotiations they have made in their relationships, they have held fast to their Vietnamese values The Vietnamese identity serves as a foundation which they constantly refer back to to make sense of the new ideas and practices My study also raises an implication about the role of emerging adulthood in forming a person’s identity The differences between the story of two young women and a middle-aged woman engaging in intercultural relationships at different stages of life suggest that a 38 relationship in young adulthood might be particularly strategic in constructing a person’s sense of self In studying human relationship, especially intercultural ones, there are exceptional challenges, set by the different cultural ancestries, and social backgrounds of each participant Therefore, it is nearly impossible to try to identify and deduce the commonalities displayed by all Vietnamese women in romantic intercultural relationships This research is then limited to the personal experiences of the participants only, which may fall short of representing all Vietnamese women It is also worthwhile to be aware that the participants’ changes in behaviors or beliefs might not be the direct result of involvement in intercultural relationships They could be attributed to other sources such as place of residence, self-enlightenment, or interaction with media, which have not been explored in this research Nevertheless, the purpose of this study was to yield interesting and unique stories of three Vietnamese women’s process of identity development, and such research does not attempt to generalize the results to a bigger target population (Creswell, 2007) As the researcher, I designed the interview questions as open-ended and the interviews as casual talks to encourage the participants’ sharing of intimate topics I also translated the transcript to English myself, which might stand a risk of subjectivity Despite its obvious limitations, I believe this paper makes three contributions to the limited literature on Vietnamese identity First, it describes the Vietnamese women in intercultural relationship’ affiliation with Vietnamese values, and discusses how they have adopted new ideas and practices as well as redefined their existing beliefs Second, it supports the arguments of renowned Vietnamese scholars that at heart of a Vietnamese’s personal identity lies the cultural/ national identity around which emerging identities are formed and negotiated Last, it proposes promising future research into the importance of a romantic relationship in young adulthood in a person’s identity development later in life 39 REFERENCES AhnAllen, J M., & Suyemoto, K L (2011) Influence of interracial dating on racial and/or ethnic identities of Asian American women and white European American men Asian American Journal of Psychology, 2(1), 61 Baldwin, J R., Coleman, R R M., González, A., & 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View) (3 edn) Ho Chi Minh City: Nha Xuat Ban TP Yodanis, C., Lauer, S., & Ota, R (2012) Interethnic romantic relationships: Enacting affiliative ethnic identities Journal of Marriage and Family, 74(5), 1021-1037 42 APPENDIX INTERVIEW QUESTIONS Can you tell me about yourself? (family, religion, education background, experiences growing up) Can you tell me about your partner? Can you tell me about how you met your partner? Can you tell me about how you two got together? (why are you attracted to him?) What is your first impression of your partner? What you think about him now? (what you like/ you don’t like) How have your opinions about him changed? Can you tell me about some of your memorable dates? (expressions of affection, food-drink, habits, values, etc) What you often have conflicts about? (gender roles, extended family, religion, intimacy) Can you tell me more about times when you have conflicts with each other (resolutions? communication patterns?) What does being Vietnamese mean to you? How Vietnamese you think you are? 10 How does being Vietnamese influence your relationship? 11 What is salient about being Vietnamese that you often bring into your communication with your partner? 12 What are the changes you made in yourself that you appreciate? 43 ... NGOẠI NGỮ KHOA NGƠN NGỮ VÀ VĂN HỐ CÁC NƯỚC NĨI TIẾNG ANH KHÓA LUẬN TỐT NGHIỆP PHỤ NỮ VIỆT NAM TRONG MỐI QUAN HỆ TÌNH CẢM ĐA VĂN HỐ: GẮN KẾT VÀ THAY ĐỔI CĂN TÍNH VIỆT NAM Giáo viên hướng dẫn:... Vietnamese woman The reinforcement of Vietnamese identity is highlighted in their strong conclusion, a non-hesitant answer to my question “Do you think you are Vietnamese?”: I am very much Vietnamese... of my mother tongue, Vietnamese All those little events in our relationship have developed a stronger sense of who I am as a Vietnamese and led me to embrace my Vietnamese-ness more On the other