7 working the room transcript

  Greg:   Hey guys Greg Greenway here again and today we've got Joshua Palacer He's a he's a dating coach and he's been um teaching guys for about eight years now Um he's one you recognize as a master in body language and report He's been featured on Good Morning America and Maxim And actually got asked to help with the designers with the AXE fragrance for men which is pretty cool So that's AXE in US or LINKS in the UK So um I've got him here and and today we're going to talk about a few things, we're going to shoot the shit And hopefully give you guys some good tactics and strategies you can use to improve in your relationships, social and And dating life So Josh how's it going there buddy? Josh: Uh it's great Thank you so much for having me on here Greg: Great man Good glad to have you on board Now quick, give us a bit about your background Tell us how did you get into all of this and what's brought you to the state that you are right now? Josh: Um it's funny as you were kind of mentioning, um you know everyone’s kind of said my credentials differently I guess Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: And when you were kind of going through one of the things that you talked about was the uh the AXE body spray thing Greg: Yeah Josh: And um it's funny because um whenever AXE contacted me, AXE didn't contact me directly, they had a group called the Black Sheep who is um it's a group of like elite leveled behavioral psychologists Greg: Okay   Josh: And they contacted me to uh to bring me into a meeting, and it was really strange So they they basically sent a car for me Uh picked me up and then took me to a place uh in New York it was you know public place it wasn't like it was anything weird (Laughter) Josh: And uh and then asked me a bunch of questions and um and then invited me to their next like meeting that they had Once they talked with me a little bit And that was really interesting, they were really looking looking for uh uh you know they were interested obviously in In the mating game how they called it AXE AXE was Greg: Yeah Josh: So AXE tapped this group called the Black Sheep to uh uh to figure out some secret information for them that that they couldn't find anywhere else So that was pretty funny Greg: That's pretty interesting though Josh: I felt like I was part of the Secret Service or something (Laughter) Josh: Um but but yeah so I started out, um worse than probably anyone you've ever met I I was absolutely terrible with women And not just with women but I was always a sort of beta male so to speak Now not like overly alpha or anything, now it's like a really amazing balance to be able to turn it on when I need to and turn it off when I don't want to When I didn't want to you know be this sort of alpha guy And it's really really powerful and it's really empowering for me but before I was really helpless and it's kind of sort of happened to me And uh it always fell apart And I always kind of had this sense that I was settling for uh for whatever woman was interested in me regardless to whether I was attracted to her it didn't really matter It was more like I had and option and so I should take it You know and uh that really didn't happen very often Anyway     so I you know I spent um I got to a point where I to make a long story short So this is like a I have a very interesting life story I did a lot of weird stuff and um I ended up selling my life rights to the producer of American Pie you know that movie Greg: Yeah You sold your life rights to the producer of American Pie? Josh: Yeah He's actually a very good friend of mine now um but at the time I just met him and he heard my story and he he's like I got to have this He wants to make a movie out of it but, that may never happen but it's interesting is what I'm trying to say Greg: Yeah Josh: I'll give you the very short version so um short version is I was working at a gas station in Tallahassee Florida And I was um just sitting there Saw a girl like most beautiful one I've ever met in my life, and uh didn't know what the fuck I was doing so I screwed it all up And um didn't really go for it, never tried to kiss her never really asked her out, nothing like that, just kind of like didn't have no idea what I was doing, but it felt amazing Greg: Yeah Josh: And then ever since then I have been searching chasing a dragon so to speak like trying to find a relationship that's or a girl that made me feel that way So I sort of embarked on this journey to figure out attraction So I wouldn't feel like next time I was faced with a woman who could very likely be my future wife I I would know what to say You know and I'd be able to actually attract her and not let it pass me by you know I think that's the biggest fear that I had at least for myself Was to you know find a woman that was perfect for me in every way and then have no clue how to attract her Greg: Yeah   Josh: And it was of course there was like the having fun in between parts that was really nice It wasn't like it was all you know fire and brimstone for me You it wasn't like you know a terrible path the whole way I mean as I went through I kind of you know met some beautiful women and was learning my skill set in attracting Greg: Yeah Josh: Lots and lots and lots of women dating lots of women so you know it was like it was uh wasn't wasn't it was very very difficult for me because I didn't have any mentors or anybody who was doing this with me I was kind of by myself for a very very long time Eventually started stumbling upon this uh this sort of blue print that I found Uh from putting the pieces together in something I learned out of psychology class of all things and started this theory and testing it and it started working And so then I started refining it and refining it Really getting down to the point where I could walk up to a woman and just attract her um you know without knowing her at all And from there sort of my attraction studies really started full time Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: You know five, six years later I was um living in New York City as you were saying I was all over the place, Today show uh show on Maxim radio, had interviews with New York Times and all these huge people and um you know it was really interesting And um when I got to the place where I was finally like I can have any woman I want, man you could literally put me in a room with 50 alpha loud guys who are all very attractive and confident and then one hot girl And these guys are all fighting for her and I would leave with her And I I mean I I've just tested everything all that I possibly could to get there and I'm defiantly nothing special to look at Greg: Yeah   Josh:   And I just understood the concept of attraction I knew how to it I know how to work a room and build attraction, bouncing attraction of other people and sort of ricocheting it to the person I want It's really interesting concept so Greg: That's Josh: Most that I start studying is surviving origins and eventually I got to the place where I could have any woman I want Who I want, and it was the girl from the gas station so (Laughter) Josh: I went back and I got her And now we live together and that's what I'm doing now Greg: Wait so is that the same girl you were talking about from the beginning? Josh: Yeah the girl from the gas station Greg: Wow Josh: Yeah Greg: Wow That's a story Josh: Took me a long time to figure out how to attract her it was like eight years (Laughter) Josh: So but you know and I teach guys to this in three days now it's kind of upsetting Greg: Mm Josh: You know they they learn in three days what it took me you know eight years to learn So um but you know it's part of the life experience I think and um I'm and because I paved the road and it took me forever to it, I'm still committed to doing it I mean I want to help guys now so Greg: That's a really cool story That's a really cool story I mean I like that One of the things that you were saying that I found really interesting and I know a lot of my listeners will as well, is how you can be in a room, with lots of really alpha successful guys because, what a lot of my listeners   um what situation they're going to encounter is as they're like getting to know somebody who's really really really high end and walks fast social circles, they're going to come across a lot of other guys who are like celebrities, musicians, really high value guys and what you just said there is I'd like you to kind of elaborate on that That's really interesting for a normal guy to be able to go in and actually like be able to compete in a scene with those guys and still get the girl Josh: Right Well you know, I think that a lot of guys get really impatient And I think that's one of the reasons why uh most men fail in that situation Especially when you’re talking about really really really hot girls And very very confident suave men that you’re talking to Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: That you’re interacting with The biggest mistake that I see guys do, is try to play the game that these suave guys are playing And try to win, you can't, I mean you can't it Because if you have any integrity whatsoever, it's going to get in the way of your success You know (Laughter) Josh: And then that's because those guys don't usually don't have that much integrity usually They're just like whatever it takes and they don't really care and if they lie they lie it's not a big deal Greg: Yeah Josh: So how you beat those guys when their using all their weapons and your only using sort of the the cross and the shield here so to speak You know what I mean? Greg: Yeah Josh: You’re like the good guy and they're using all these other tactics that could be really really easy to use but but uh at the same time um sort of give them almost unlimited power     Greg: Yeah Josh: And And um and you can tap into those so I didn't want to get into that because you can't beat them at that game because you'll hesitate Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: If you have any kind of morals you'll hesitate you know So I didn't uh I didn't even try it Instead I had to take a step up and this is one one of the beliefs I've had for a long time I believe that if you want to be like your hero's, you know guys that you look up to, you respect You have to study your hero's hero's Because that's how they got to where they are right They studied they didn't study themselves, they studied whoever they studied you know And if you study them, you'll only be as good as they are and never shoot to be better than them and therefore you'll never be able to hold a candle to them because they will keep improving Greg: Mm Josh: You know So you have to sort of study who they're studying and what they're studying in order to be as good as them One of the reason I think a lot of guys so sort of get into this guru uh following process where they start to follow all these different guru's they never really get as good as the guru they're following because they um don't try to ask what the guru reads, what the guru studies What changed them you know and uh and just skip the guru, go straight to what they studied you know And um and that I really really recommend doing that I mean I think the gurus have a lot to learn obviously and I'm sorry a lot to give, a lot to teach And you can learn a lot from them but I also think you should study the other side so whenever you go into a group like this, it's sort of like the same kind of mentality Whenever you start to think okay well I'm going to study my hero's hero's so people they studied and that   they looked up to, it kind of puts you on a level above where your hero's are or at least at the same level Greg: Yeah Josh: So whenever you go into a place where you're going up against all these confident guys, if you look at them as competition, then it won't work right Because then you're constantly reacting to everything their doing Instead, I walk into a room like that and I see 50 people who are going to help me attract this girl And they don't even know it Right They won't know it Even if they're trying to compete with me, they're still going to be helping me attract her So I started puppeteering people And the way that you sort of that is you you look at um and this is you know it takes a lot of refining work, studying this to be able to tell immediately when you walk up to somebody Greg: Mm Josh: But most people have this sort of gut feeling about people when they meet them so if you follow that gut feeling you'll probably be right about 80% of the time So you can get pretty far without having to study hardly any body language But if you want to get the final 20% then you got to really study a lot And understand attraction but whenever someone talks to you and they interact with you, when you show up, you begin to change the environment Regardless of what's going on I used to always say that um that to a monster every human being is screaming all the time Right That's what they think They think all humans are just screaming machines Right but really, a monster walks into a cafe' everyone screams right? Greg: Yeah Josh: Because it's a fucking monster Because their scared Any monster walks into a bar, everybody screams and you know you sit down with your monster friend he goes Josh I just don't really understand you know why are all of you     people screaming all the time you know We don't see that we affect the environment that we're in And this is one of the most expensive lessons I've ever learned by the way I've I was trading in the stock market whenever I learned this lesson and I bought into a stock and everyone sold because they saw me buy it And that that ended up dropping the stock and I lost all my money And this was like a huge, huge lesson for me either I lost thousands and thousands of dollars there, just threw it down the toilet or, I learned a lesson And my lesson was that you affect your environment This sort of led me to understand everything that I now You know That I'm actually affecting my environment So whenever you walk up and you talk to a guy, who’s seemingly very confident, he'll actually change his behavior you may not have noticed it yet but he's changing his behavior because you walked up Now the interesting thing is that when someone changes their behavior they're telling you what they want you to believe So if you fight that, then you have an enemy But if you play it up then you now have a friend Right So the way that I would this is I would go into like I said before I would ricochet attraction off of people right Greg: Yeah Josh: I would build up one person’s value like well maybe some a few of the most confident nice guys in the place, I'd build their value up so much, that um they would accidentally begin to give me positive body language when I walk by them They wouldn't even know they were doing it right So this is like a total subconscious thing Positive body language is whenever you start to face somebody with your body Greg: Yeah Josh: You know so they would I'd walk by and they would turn a little bit you know it was super subtle they would turn   their body and face me a little bit, but even if they weren't looking at me What happens is women find attraction on a completely subconscious level So because of this, they're looking around and they're just they're not paying attention constantly what's going on They're just looking at guys who are attractive and confident The most confident body language they see in a bar, or wherever you are and their noticing that all those guys are all turning to face me and hesitating when I walk by Right and this is the listen if you're impatient, here's what you'll do, you'll walk up you'll see a girl, you'll walk straight at her regardless of what situation is and you'll try to go for it and fight these guys to win You know but that's not how Obama got elected president you know Greg: Yeah Josh: Here you know it isn't like that it isn't you know anytime you want to win you have to understand the politics of social interaction and take them into account we don't live in a society anymore where it's survival of the fittest It's now survival of the socially fittest And so if you can uh understand how to um first off it your patient and you can take your time with this And you understand how to use the right tool for the right job like sometimes sometimes yeah going into a room and walking straight up to the girl is the best thing to you know because there's no one of higher value than you currently believe you are in that environment and you'll have fewer competition right Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: So if that's the case than you're fine but if it's not the case, and you have people people that your competing with, it's much can't work if a girl who's intentionally trying to uh um attract men meaning she's done up like dressed up like really really sexy sitting with one of her friends, not really 10     down instead of taking it off And this is really really important so I would move then to to touching different parts of her body to like during report you can touch hands, you can touch neck if you want to face a little bit every once in a while, you can touch lower back now, you can um and usually you want to have sort of intertwine your hands a little bit for a second and then take your hands off you know that kind of thing So it sort of increases touch escalation so now she's emotionally getting anchored to whatever it is that I'm talking about Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: So you know report when you build report you build trust and if you touch while your building report then you anchor that trust to your touch meaning that she now trusts you physically This is why you never want to build report over the phone Or over the internet email or whatever because whenever your building report over the phone, um or over the internet, you can't anchor it to anything and so now you’re not touching them while you’re doing it and now they don't feel comfortable with you touching them Because there's a big gap all of a sudden, it's like it's like sitting across from somebody talking to them and doing all the emotions for everything but never touching them once and then trying to go in and kiss them it's like the most awkward Greg: Yeah Josh: Insane thing in the world So you really have to focus on that, there's a touch part, there's eye contact changes, um focal tonality changes and topic of conversation obviously changes a bit And then I shift into seduction after that and lead And when I get in this seductive state, I'm very very very like sexually charged and um nothing can break that state I practiced that That was very difficult to practice Greg: How you practice that? 27   Josh: You know I have this Actually I would have people scream at me while I was doing that So eventually I could focus while they were screaming at me so we used to um have like we would be talking and I would be saying something and trying to be serious and someone’s like yelling at me and calling me names One of my friends right Greg: Oh dear Josh: Um sometimes in normal interaction, sometimes in test interactions And what this would is it would desensitize me to negative interaction like that whenever I was in that seductive state, and then it actually came in handy a lot I mean there have been several times whenever I would be at a bar, talking to a girl sort of in that seduction state and you know and there would literally be a guy who was interested in her who you know maybe lied to me and told me that this was his girlfriend or something you know and I find out later on it's not her It's not his girlfriend or whatever you know whatever to try to intimidate me to back off whatever Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: He'd be literally like calling me a pussy or saying he's going to beat my ass like like four inches from my head while I'm just talking to this girl like we're sitting down and I'm having like this deep conversation with her And I'm still talking to her and she she's so sucked into my eye contact that she can't even notice this guy even though he's yelling at me in my ear and he's like obvious right there and he's looking at her to see if she's paying attention or feeling awkward He just wants to ruin the interaction and I've been on past several situations like that because I you know when you’re in that seduction state it's like it's all or nothing, you have nothing to lose You know if you if you uh flinch or anything, it's over and if you stay in, you'll only have the possibility of winning That's all you have you 28     know so it’s a really difficult thing for a lot of guys especially small guys like me Greg: Yeah Josh: You know Greg: I find that sort of fascinating, so you’re almost like able to stay in the state regardless of whatever um from what it sounds like pretty intense distractions are coming your way And you did that by getting your friends to scream at you? Josh: Yeah, that was one of the biggest ways to it another way to it is to um raise just in general with your interaction, raise your voice, about not quite twice as loud as you normally talk, but just raise your voice to a slightly uncomfortable volume so that you know everybody can hear you and then try to have normal conversations throughout your entire life Like throughout every day, of your interactions, try to have those conversations with that level of voice because then people start staring at you a lot and you then begin to learn how to ignore people who are staring at you right So it's another way to it too is to sort of raise your voice like that a little bit um attractive people are used to being looked at and are used to being seen as competition If you want to be an attractive person, you have to be comfortable with people looking at you and with people noticing you You know and so I had to I did that with with uh with having my friends scream at me and then I also um of course raised my voice I started going into situations where I I started playing naive Greg: Wow Josh: When I would walk into a group of like say there was a a group of really thugged out looking guys, standing in a tight circle, and they were like just guys you don't want to screw with, like you just get that feeling about them You know it 29   doesn't matter what color they are it doesn't whatever right They're just guys you don't want to screw with Greg: Mm Josh: And I would sort of play dumb and walk up and start asking them questions and then what I found was that about 80% of the time, there would be or guys that still had that like who the fuck is this guy look on their face, and the other guys would start laughing and hanging out with me And then I'd be accepted in that social group which seems impossible outside of that You know and uh you know selective hearing is very very important If you if your with a girl and she starts insulting you out of nowhere, if you flinch in that moment, at all like go hesitate, anything in that moment than um she's going to lose attraction for you That's called a (inaudible) test Women that to see whether or not you're actually confident because you seem like you are so they test you to see if you are by trying to insult you If you um you know several ways around getting around that but the most effective way my friend Rob Judd’s talks about this all the time, he's really really really smart way of explaining it He calls it the Al Pacino Greg: Yeah Josh: Where he like says you know this girl says you know go fuck yourself, leave us alone, and Al Pacino hears oh my god that's a really cool shirt where'd you get it You know like all he hears is confident stuff (Laughter) Josh: He doesn't hear any of the negative stuff at all and um and so that's another really go way to practice too and that will help you out a lot as well in interaction just in general is to sort of ignore any negative thing and then just try to find any positive way of spinning it and if there's no positive way, just go right back to what you were talking about before that You know I've had guys try to cock block me 30     before and the would say um one guy one time I was talking to this girl and this guy really liked her a lot, and like he had he liked her so much that he had actually insisted on being in the car whenever we went back to her place and when we got to her place, he was sitting there the whole time Trying to like, just wouldn't leave right Greg: Wow Josh: And so I was talking to this girl and I was like you know you’re kind of like halfway between an introvert and an extrovert I mean sometimes you feel like probably I bet and I don't know if this is true about you or not, but sometimes I feel like maybe I get the impression that maybe you want to be around people, and you want to like energize that way, and it really gets you going and your excited And then sometimes you just kind of want to be alone and like have your own space you know and she's like oh my god that's so me you know and then he he was like dude that's like everybody man shut up And I was like yeah you know a lot and this is my response, I turned to him and I go you know a lot of people feel this way and they just don't say it and I was totally ignored even the negative part of what he just said And she didn't snap out of it because of that but if I was like dude, don't be a jerk Then we'd have a match You know and then she would it would have been it for her so um yeah it's really really interesting Greg: So um you say you got a I heard you mention earlier that you have a psychology background, how did you like when you were going on your journey is there something that you um did with trial and error were you kind of like looking at books, because a lot of this stuff that you said, I wish I had a psychology back ground as well, um have a degree in it and a lot of the stuff you say really ties into um like core behavior and uh interpersonal concepts And so I was 31   wondering is there something that you um you found you found through trial and error, when dealing with people, or did you kind of use some of the your psychology background or did you like read some books, it's got to help you along the way Josh: Well the first thing is that um you know when I was going to college, I found that it's a little slow paced Greg: Mm Josh: In the psychology department, you probably know psychology too Greg: Yeah (laughs) Josh: Um they spend a lot of time talking about stuff that has absolutely no relevance to so and maybe it will eventually but whenever you’re ready to see it than it's a great time to check it out But so what I started doing is um I stopped paying for college, and I just kept going Greg: Okay Josh: And um Greg: Wait wait wait how does that how does that work? Josh: I know it sounds crazy but literally all I did was stop paying And then just went to classes no one asked me any questions at all they were just like okay yeah and I sat down at the class, and I would go through all the tests and stuff um I'd all the assignments sometimes I wouldn't turn them in you know I would go into a um because I didn't want to create extra work for the Greg: How did you get through security? I'm this is this is like this is defiantly a fascinating story, you actually so you quit you stopped paying because I don't know how it works in the states but in England when you go to university if you one of the I think that this country's so broke, one of the first things, you quit paying, they will chase you to the end of the earth if you like miss a couple of days of your payment I mean if you’re like 32     Josh: Right Greg: 20 key which is like 20 cents late on library book, they chase you up let alone if you haven't paid your tuition fees so I'm I mean that's brilliant so you actually didn't you stopped paying and you kept on going, you were able to like circumnavigate like through security and just keep doing whatever you were doing Josh: Well it was actually very simple Because the funny thing is is that teacher's don't give a shit about the institution They don't, they care about the knowledge which is why I didn't it in the first place They all went through you know PhD programs and in whatever it is they're talking about They care more about the information than they about the money or otherwise they'd be somewhere else Doing something that makes them more money You know so what I is I would um show up for for bigger like auditorium style classes it was really easy I just walked in I'd walk in end up during a conversation with somebody so I could make friends with other people in class, who were going there and I'd just walk in with it If anybody asked me who I was I'd say the professor’s name and say they asked me to come by and sit in on this lecture Greg: Yeah Josh: You know Um if they uh if like you know we don't have you whatever it is If they were like oh you can't come in, sometimes I would skip a class, because I couldn't get in but it wasn't very often Usually what I would is I would actually go into the office of the uh professor and go hey look um my my curriculum, my semesters already full packed completely packed and I can't add any more classes but I really like your class and I'd love to be able to just sit in on it quietly and if it works out and you’re okay with that let me sit in and learn And they I never had a teacher turn me down for that I have even been able to go in and 33   have meetings with them in their office later and drink beer with them and talk to them about you know have a metaphysics class and I would talk about you know the actual size of the universe you know and just sit there and talk to them about the size of the universe for like hours Greg: How to infiltrate an educational institution 101 (Laughs) Josh: Yeah unfortunately not that many people really care because most people go to get that piece of paper at the end you know Greg: Yeah Josh: And I didn't really care about that so I took this stuff from uh from psychology class and eventually started uh just getting the text books and reading them on my own It was faster, and um and what I found is is that there's and area of study that um because it's not encumbered, by all of the regulations of college, meaning you know PhD's in order to prove something or have a theory they can't even say it to somebody unless it's been tested Greg: Yeah Josh: They can't go holy crap, this is working, they can't that Because it will discredit them as professors, but there's an entirely different group of people who are almost like coffee table psychologists who um who the pick-up artist community being one of them You know who don't worry about going through specific scientific testing, instead they behavioral testing Greg: Yeah Josh: You know environmental testing and they just get gather in data And if you gather enough data, you can find patterns, and that's what my skill set is I see patterns Like everywhere that's like my natural superpowers that I can that Greg: Yeah (laughs) 34   Josh:   And so and so what I started doing was infiltrating these different groups and um and learning from them The biggest brightest group of people that I ever found are mentalists Greg: Okay Josh: They are the smartest at social power, I've ever seen in my life They can um the best mentalist I've seen Show mentalist is Darren Brown Greg: Oh yeah he's brilliant Josh: And he's just amazing Greg: Yeah Josh: I mean he studied LP, studies (inaudible) messaging you know he studied a bunch of stuff and he sort of made his own version of mentalism that's half way between you know illusion and NLP in (inaudible) program Greg: Yeah Josh: And so uh that's a group so you can actually I I believe that if you get a foundation in some of the works in college or something collagen foundation and even if you just buy a book online and read it on your own, get some kind of foundation with so you understand what's going on And then skip all the middle shit and go straight to mentalism and you will you will understand uh more advanced social interactions then then um you know you'll be in the top 0001% Greg: Oh 100% defiantly Josh: You know um and it's just it's just those people have the ability again to look at any as if they have a magic lamp you know they rub it and they get whatever they want They just go okay, I want to be you know the next Pope, okay well if you want to you can Greg: Mm-hmm 35   Josh: You can you can that You'd fully (inaudible) but you got to go it you know And that's it so you have then you ask yourself the crucial question Greg: The thing is right, cause what you’re saying it rings so true because I remember the first time that um I ever started cause there was no urgent (inaudible) and the difference between um micro-psychology and macropsychology one of the things that was really At first it was a bit actually how you say it at first it was a bit depressing to me to see that as unique as I thought that I was or that I thought that people were, once you meet enough people once you see enough behaviors it starts to get like you said, patterns start to emerge, and you still have to realize that people aren’t really as unique in their behavior as we would like to think we are And there's so many different um behaviors so many things that people that people that are once you see the signals and where it's going, it's almost 100% you can predict exactly where they’re going to go from there Josh: Yeah you know it’s funny there's a um there's a quotation from a movie, I think the movies now called the Edge it was called Kodiak for a while I think they call it the edge, and it's with Anthony Hopkins, and Alec Baldwin Greg: Yeah Josh: And And um it's about them sort of getting in a plane crash and they're stuck in the woods and they have to fight this bear that's like hunting them Greg: Uh-huh Josh: You know they're trying to get out of these woods Um and Anthony Hopkins says this one thing to motivate Alec Baldwin to like push through and And help find help find a way to kill this bear and that statement is, what one man can do, another man can And he just kept saying it, what one man can do, another man can You know and 36     if you think about this, um and you really apply it to understand this, you'll realize that that if you've ever seen a guy who’s been good with women, you can be that good No matter how good he is You can be that good Greg: Yeah Josh: You can always the same thing that he can because there are patterns because we they they it isn't some unique ability It isn't like he's got something that um you don't have you know that's not the case Greg: Mm Josh: So it's just about figuring out what that is and there are a lot of different uh personality checking systems that are really worth your time to check out One is Mires Briggs that Greg: Say that again please Josh: Mires Briggs Greg: Mires Briggs okay Josh: Mires Briggs test it was it was um based on Carl Young’s theories of personality types And it's a test that helps you figure out what your personality type is Now once you know it doesn't mean anything really It Until you realize how you can you can uh personality type other people without asking them any questions Just look at them Greg: Yeah Josh: And then figure out where they are because then you can speak their language and then you've got just a an amazingly powerful skill set that is that where you can take you can say okay well because this person's always late, I also know that they make decisions in their head before before they even get to something Before they see something Greg: Yeah Josh: I mean like internal order so they can have external chaos And you'll know that about somebody And like just little things like that and they won't know that about themselves 37   So now you have a window into their lives where they can't see Another ones called the enneagram which is E N N E A G R A M and you can learn like 90% of everything you need to know about the enneagram by going to Wikipedia Greg: Yeah Josh: And it's right there for free And that is another really powerful one uh once you begin to understand it The guy who uh who actually uh mentored Tony Robins taught me about the enneagram And it's it’s ridiculous Greg: The enneagram so um you just repeat that what what exactly is the enneagram? Josh: The enneagram is a sort of underlying personality system that's way deep down below the surface Um under the surface rather that tells sort of why you wake up in the morning and because of that once we figure out where you are in this past, we can predict where you’re going to go under stress, and where you’re going to go when you're confident, like mentally Greg: Mm-hmm Josh: Who you’re going to turn into in each one of those situations Also if you get overwhelmed, how you’re going to respond to it So like I would know which person's going to be um the kind of angry raging person when they get mad, versus the person who might cry right or ball up in a ball Or a person who might avoid it by working right or who may um like I would I would know within a matter of minutes after I figure out where you were at on that scale, I would know one sentence I could say that would make you cry No matter who you were Greg: Yeah Josh: And one sentence I could say that would make you feel like that was the best compliment you ever got in your life Greg: Yeah 38   Josh:   You know And this is really important Now not because I think that you should want to know how to make people cry, but because the other side of that is really really powerful You know Greg: Well yeah exactly it's uh this is the thing uh I hope like everyone listening um really understand that all of the stuff me and Josh talk about right now are really really really really powerful things that will that can affect people’s behavior but you've got to be able to use them to be uh a force of good and you want to Yes you can use these things negatively but we never want to ever advocate that but you want if when you understand these things and you can know what it is that people need and people want and how that you can best uh help improve their lives and how the best way you can give them value and give them (inaudible) and that's the real truth behind this and that's the real power behind a lot of stuff that Josh is saying because when you are in those interactions, that’s the social intelligent person that uses the information to because people give off so much information when their around you when they are talking it's using that information and then being able to provide them with something that they need while they'll ultimately be good with Josh: Right, I mean it the thing is that if you if you use it for bad stuff it's probably because you're afraid of something you have some kind of fear that you're trying to avoid as long as your avoiding fear your reactive as long as your reactive you will never be better than people who aren't Greg: Yeah Josh: You know so if you really want to be good you’re going to have to overcome and face your fears too and you know as long as you that, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody using this for evil because they won't because it won't be as 39   effective It's more effective to use it you know for good so Sort of the white hat (Laughter) Josh: You know so to speak Greg: Perfect Awesome well, I mean Josh I think that's um that's a good place for us to um wrap up uh really really appreciate you coming along Some of the stuff we talked about today has been um insightful, it's very very useful, I mean I learned a lot and I'm sure everyone listening’s has learned a lot Um is here anywhere guys can go to get more um information from you? Josh: Yeah um probably what I'll for you is I'll just give you a link, or a button or something Greg: Okay Josh: I don't know how you’re going to release this interview but um you know just whatever you can click on it and what they'll is they'll go to a video that I shot and um just like I went over a few like really crux pieces of information here, there's a couple things about attraction that I didn't talk about here that are um that are really really really really important that if I I had to teach a guy you know the most important thing I thought in attracting, I'd teach him how to attract a woman in five minutes Greg: Yeah Josh: I would go over these concepts and and I got I shot a video sort of teaching them because I was answering these questions so much that I shot a video of it so they if they click on that link, they'll go to that video they can watch it and get more information I I highly recommend they watch that video all the way through before they even think about buying any of my products because you know I think that they should get that information maybe they get enough from that video where they don't need to buy the products, who knows 40     Greg: Yeah Josh: So I think that that would be that would be more beneficial to to guys so that would probably be the best way to it Greg: Cool, again thank you so much for your time, it's been really insightful, uh it's been good having you on, I'm sure the guys are going to get be able to take a lot of stuff that we talked about today and just go and improve their social lives, their love lives, and their relationships with people Josh: Hey man thanks so much for having me This has been a very very nice conversation I rarely get to talk about stuff that is as meaningful to me as this so I really appreciate it Greg: Fantastic Well guys it's me Greg Greenway and Joshua Palacer and I will see you next time Cheers 41 ... that's how they got to where they are right They studied they didn't study themselves, they studied whoever they studied you know And if you study them, you'll only be as good as they are and... start asking them questions and then what I found was that about 80% of the time, there would be or guys that still had that like who the fuck is this guy look on their face, and the other guys... the guru they're following because they um don't try to ask what the guru reads, what the guru studies What changed them you know and uh and just skip the guru, go straight to what they studied